All recognizable content belongs to the lovely author Sarah J. Maas.
Once again, Feyre is definitely OOC in this story. I'm trying to control it, but it's getting away from me. Definitely has some interesting outcomes. Most of this chapter wrote itself the first time I wrote it, and I fixed a lot of it in an effort to stay more true to the characters. This Feyre draws a little bit more on the cunning side she discovered in the beginning of A Court of War and Ruin, with a little bit of something extra. I hope you enjoy it! Lots of Love, ~ Auna.
I awoke atop the horse, the same invisible bonds holding me there as I remembered from last time, and saw the place I knew so well come into view. It was an effort not to panic at the the feel of the bonds, so like those that had held me in that house, or at the view of the house itself, and the knowledge that I couldn't just get out whenever I wanted without blowing my cover completely. In an effort to distract myself, I analyzed the manor in detail. The green lawns and the ivy covered walls looked the same as the last time I was here, just maybe a little less lively. The glamour that was in place over my senses was quickly removed, and I nearly sighed with relief at being able to see all of the faeries again. Not because it was nice to see them, but because knowing they were there and being unable to sense them would have driven me mad.
Tamlin lept up the steps and the doors opened for him without help. I climbed down from the horse and was immediately dizzy, as well as assaulted with the knowledge that I was famished.I stumbled up the steps and discreetly used a hint of magic to hold my upright. No one had to know.
The house was just like I remembered, and I took a second to adjust to the sickeningly sweet air and the spring birds chirping incessantly. Then I followed Tamlin into the dining room. The ugly brute sat in his chair before flashing back to his human form, and I forced a cry as I jumped back to the wall beside the door. The sight of his face had me shaking with repressed rage, and I knew I would have to go upstairs to calm down before eating with him.
"You should eat something." Yeah. I could kill and eat you, solving all out problems before they even start. But lucky for you, I'm playing the long game here. And eating you would probably poison me. I inched towards the door, ever the frightened mortal.
"Who are you?" My voice shook, but I managed to keep the anger out of it. I need to calm down, and I needed to calm down fast. Crying would help to immediately release the emotions, but I didn't have a motivation that was obvious to him, and besides, I didn't want to be seen as too weak.
"Sit. eat." Pure command in his voice, someone used to giving orders and having them obeyed. Oh how I would rock his world. I stood still, or as still as I could manage, and fought the tears. Apparently, my body liked the idea of crying to release the tension. "Unless you'd rather faint?" He growled, but his tone was slightly mocking to those who knew him. and of those who knew him, only Lucien was higher up on that list than I.
"Its-it's not s-safe for humans," I stuttered through the sentence, my thoughts preoccupied with keeping from crying tears of frustration. He laughed.
"The food is fine for you to eat, human." His eyes roved over my body taking in my tensed muscles and shaking hands. I clenched them into fists and tucked them behind my back. "Leave, if you want. I'm not your jailer. The gates are open, you can live anywhere in Prythian." I didn't move, but oh, how I wanted to vanish to the Night Court. "Fine." And he began serving himself, just as Lucien strode in. I almost smiled at the sight of my old freind, relaxing slightly, before remembering he didn't know me yet. The threat of tears got stronger.
"Well?" He inquired. He hadn't spotted me yet.
"Well what?" Tam asked sharply, cocking his head to the side.
"Is Andras dead?" Lucien's voice was a mix of anxious, annoyed, dreadful and hopeful. I felt awful for tricking him, at least, if nobody else.
"I'm sorry." Tamlin said, following a nod.
"How?" I was surprised Lucien didn't stomp my foot, and quickly schooled my features back to that of terror before either of them noticed.
The answering phrase "An ash arrow," drew a growl from Lucien. "The Treaty's summons led me to a mortal. I gave her safe haven."
"A girl- a mortal girl- actually killed Andras." His words were coated with venom. "And the summons found the girl responsible."
Tamlin pointed at me with his glass. "The Treaty's magic brought me right to her doorstep." Lucien whirled to me. Then he looked back at Tam. Me. Tam. I drew in on myself more, allowing the shaking frustration, more at my idiocy for putting myself into this predicament than anything.
"You're joking." Lucien seemed to laugh. "That scrawny thing brought down Andras with a single ash arrow?"
"She admitted to it," he spoke tightly, dragging a single claw around the metal edge of his cup. "She didn't even try to deny it." Lucien leaned against the edge of the table.
"Well," he seethed, "now we're stuck with that, thanks you your useless mercy, and you've ruined-" I too a step forward, just one. Lucien's attention snapped to me. Tamlin's had never really left. "Did you enjoy killing my friend, human? Did you hesitate, or was the hatred in your heart riding you too hard to consider sparing him? It must have been so satisfying for a mortal thing like you to take him down." Tamlin said nothing, just watching me. I clenched my fists and raised my chin, taking another step forwards.
"For your information," my voice was steely, even while shaking, "I killed that wolf because I love my family. They might not love me, not even bothering to see that I come home every night, but I love them, and I was willing to risk killing a Fae if it meant keeping them alive. There might have been hate in my heart the moment I killed your friend, but my family means everything to me, promise to my mother on her deathbed aside." And though I knew it was a cruel, horrible blow to hit him with, I needed to cement my role as a weak little human, ignorant to every little thing. "Don't you love you family?" My voice was high and strained and I had tears streaming down my face. I would be calm in just a minute. "Would you not go to the ends of the earth for them, regardless of what they feel for you? I will do anything for the people I love, even if they couldn't care less about my very existence." Oh, I looked mad now. Just like a seething, spitting, fiery little human, ticked off at a Fae for insulting her faithfulness to her family. Lucien's face was red and he looked about half a second away from ripping me to shreds.
"What promise to your mother on her deathbed?" Tamlin's voice was calm and soothing, but he had to speak up to be heard over the sound of my raging breaths. My chest was positively heaving as I stared at Lucien, my fisted hands tucked up against my legs in an effort to hide the shakes. I attempted to channel my inner Rhys and his calm, icy, lethal sort of anger, rather than the fiery temper more custom of my sisters and I.
"When I was eight, my mother passed away. On her deathbed, she made me promise to take care of my family forever, to hold them together." I sneered at Tamlin, ignoring Lucien now. "Not my merchant father, not the fiery tempered, eldest sister Nesta, not even the sweet, soft and flowery Elain. Me. The youngest, the meekest, the illiterate little girl who had no idea what she was doing. My own mother made my promise to take care of my family. And so I did." I end my story there, dried tear tracks still on my face and my arms crossed over my chest. "Not that you actually care." I muttered as I tucked my chin down, knowing full well they could hear me but pretending oblivion. After all, I was the inexperienced, illiterate human.
I looked down at the floor like I was trying to keep from crying, bringing my hands up to roughly wipe at my eyes. I was actually trying to keep from laughing at the shocked expression on Lucien's face.
"Alis will take you to your room." Tam said, his voice a little choked. "You could use a back and some fresh clothes." Lucien spoke as Alis, who appeared by me elbow, led me away.
"That's the hand the Cauldron thought to deal up?" I fought a snicker. Lucien, I had the Cauldron deal you this hand. This time around, anyway. "We should never have sent Andras out there, should never have sent any of them out there. It was a fool's mission." His voice rose as we got further away, and I was thankful.
I noted how he didn't doubt I had brought Andras down this time. But I regretted the dig about his family, even if he couldn't have known I knew it was a dig, and the fact that he believes his friend to be dead. "Maybe we should just take a stand, maybe it's time to say enough. Dump the girl somewhere, kill her, I don't care- she's nothing but a burden here. She'd sooner put a knife in your back than talk to you- any of us." Oh Lucien. I would love to talk to you, but I know too much. I can only do it in a regulated setting. Ugh.
Deep breaths, dearest one. Patience is a virtue. The Cauldron spoke to me though our bond and I nearly jumped. I took a deep breath and calmed down before the Cauldron's presence reseeded.
I needed to plan, to think, to calculate. Everything I was good at. Until I became impulsive. Alis led me up the steps to my room. Where the entire thing had been calming once, it now set my teeth on edge. It was a very good thing I was practiced at hiding my nightmares, shielding my mind. I would have to figure out a way to have Rhys come on Calanmai though. Hmm.
Alis and two other masked servants bathed me, cut my hair and plucked me all over. When Alis tried to put me into a turquoise dress, I begged her to find me something else, anything else. She huffed at me and stormed out, coming back many minutes later with a pair of trousers and a night court colored tunic that fit me as well as I remembered. She pushed me onto a low backed chair before the fireplace and began brushing my hair before braiding it.
"You're hardly more than skin and bones." She said. Her familiar voice was glorious, even if the words were terribly repetitive.
"Winter does that to poor mortals." My voice had just the right amount of sharpness to it. Alis laughed softly.
"If you're wise, you'll keep your mouth shut and your ears open. It'll do you more good here than a loose tongue. And keep your wits about you, even your senses will try to betray you here. Some folk are bound to be upset about Andras." I tried not to mouth the words along with her: even though I didn't know them exactly, I was still overly familiar with the gist of what Ali's said, this conversation in particular. "Yet if you ask me, Andras was a good sentinel, but he knew what he would face when he crossed the wall, knew he'd likely find trouble. And the others understand the terms of the Treaty, too- even if they might resent your presence here, thanks to the mercy of our master. So keep your head down and none of them will bother you. Though Lucien could do with someone snapping at him occasionally. I suppose you've already done that though."
"Does Lucien not love his family? I was only trying to get a point across, not offend him, but he seemed more angry than warranted." I questioned as she stood to open the door, ever the confused and weak mortal.
"Lucien hasn't been to see his family in a very long time, and any reunion would be very tense."
"Oh." Was all I said as I passed her into the hall. I wandered the hallways down to the dining hall, looking at a few of my favorite paintings here and there. When I arrived, a glorious feast was still spread on the table, Lucien lounging sideways in his chair, feet dangling over one armrest and a nearly empty glass in his hand, two empty bottles on the table next to him. A third, only half empty, was in his other hand.
I paused just inside the doorway.
"Before you ask again: the food is safe for you to eat." Tamlin spoke before pointing at the chair at the other end of the table. My chair. I didn't move. He sighed.
"What do you want, then?" I said nothing, staring at my chair. Lucien laughed before slurring a few words.
"I told you so, Tamlin. Your skills with females have become rusty in recent decades." Tamlin shifted in his seat. Lucien turned his head to me. "Well, you don't look half as bad now. A relief, I suppose, since you're to live with us. Though the tunic isn't as pretty as a dress." I looked him square in the face.
"I'd prefer not to wear a dress."
"And why not?" Lucien was very, very drunk. I winced internally at my dig at his family.
"Because killing is easier in a dress." Tamlin said.
"No!" I was incredulous. "That is absolutely not why I would prefer not to wear a dress, and I would appreciate it if you let me answer questions for myself, particularly if you're going to answer them incorrectly." I scolded him before marching to sit in my seat. Lucien visibly fought to keep his face straight.
"Then, do tell, why don't you want to wear a dress?" I sat back in my chair, lounging like I owned this place and he was my guest.
"Because, my figure is absolutely awful as of the current moment and I can't stand to look at it." Lucien howled at that before falling out of his chair. While my attention was on him, Tamlin stood and began serving me.
"I can serve myself, thanks." I ground out. He paused.
"It's an honor for a human to be served by a High Fae." Then he went back to piling my plate with food. I sighed.
"Fine." He poured a pale sparkling wine into my glass and then walked back the length of the room to sit in his own chair. Though I was famished, I kept my hands in my lap and stared him down.
"You look… better than before." Oh right. I forgot his pathetic attempts at giving me compliments. Lucien, now back in his chair, gave Tamlin an all too noticeable encouraging nod and it was my turn to try and keep my face straight.
"And your hair is… clean." Wow. So I decided to play a little game or two. I rested my chin on my hand, elbow propped next to my plate and fluttered my eyelashes at him.
"And you look ugly as ever. Have you even slept at all in the last month?" I said it in the same way I might tell someone I loved their hair and then ask where they got their product. Lucien looked back and forth between us before bursting out laughing and falling off his chair again. He was going to be bruised in the morning. Tamlin just blinked at me. I refrained from rolling my eyes and changed subjects.
"So you're High Fae? Faerie nobility?"
"Yes. We are." He seemed to be choking on his words.
"What do you plan to do with me now that I'm here?" The narrowing of my eyes was not entirely for show.
"Nothing. Do whatever you want." Lucien popped up in his chair. He stuck his tongue out at Tamlin. Then he looked at it, cross eyed. He poked it. Giggled. Poked it again. We both ignored him. "Don't you have any… interests?"
"No." I wasn't ready to start painting again just yet. I didn't look at him as I picked up my fork and started eating. I was too tired to fight with him or Lucien.
I ate while they watched me. Or rather, Tamlin watched me, and Lucien was busy rediscovering his tongue. Then his cheeks. While I was eating, I magically changed all the wine in the room, at least the stuff near Lucien, into pomegranate juice or lemonade. I fought my smirk when he took another sip from his glass and spit it all over the table.
"What happened to this?! It's disgusting!" I stood up and walked over to him.
"Let me see." I had one hand on my hip and held the other one out to him. I felt like the mother of a three year old.
"No. It's mine!" He held it in both hands and turned away from me. I put a hand on his shoulder.
"I know it's yours, I'm just going to make it better." He pursed his lips. Cauldron, he was drunk. Tamlin just stared at us. I sighed.
"Lucien." I flapped my fingers, a universal 'give it here' gesture.
"Fine." He handed it to me. I brought it to my nose and sniffed. It was definitely lemonade. I swirled it and took a small sip from one side.
"Hey!" Lucien protested. He snatched it from my hands.
"That, Lucien, is called lemonade. It has water, sugar and lemon juice in it."
"What!" He stuck the glass up to his golden eye like he could see the difference between that and the white wine he had been drinking.
"Here." I said and walked around the table to fetch the wine bottle from next to my glass. Lucien was glaring at Tamlin like he'd done something to personally offend him. I snatched the glass out of his hand and poured the lemonade out into a spare bowl. Then I filled his glass up with an expert hand and handed it back to him. He looked down at the glass now in his hands and tilted his head.
"Drink it Lucien. That's what it's for." He looked at me, shrugged and knocked back the entire glass. I sighed, then went to walk out.
"Thank you for the meal. The sleeping drug in his drink should kick in in just a second. Hopefully it keeps him from having a hangover tomorrow. Goodnight." Tamlin sat there shocked, staring at me. Lucien waved goodbye. I waved goodbye at him with a smile I would give to a small child when they're being ridiculous. After I shut the door, I heard the thud of Lucien falling asleep, followed by loud snoring.
"By the Cauldron, what have we gotten ourselves into." Tamlin spoke as I walked up the stairs to my room. I smiled a wicked smile.
I slept fitfully, but not because I was scared of Tamlin or Lucien, or anyone on this estate really. I just could barely stand being back there, in that place where so many terrible things happened. I just wanted to fall asleep in a bed, Rhys' arms and wings wrapped around me, and not have to worry about these people finding things out about me that would end with all of us dead.
Here's the next chapter. I'm not entirely happy with it- the plot part is fine, it's just the finer details in Feyre's mindset that are getting away from me and I don't know if I like it or not. But, regardless, I had this chapter typed but not edited, and published a chapter on my other story so I thought I might as well do one here too. I'm going to come back and edit the finer details in about two weeks (Busy with Thanksgiving this year) so check back then! Lot's of love, hope you enjoy! ~Auna.