Chapter 6

Prince Charming and Possibilities

Beef stew simmered away in the slow cooker late Saturday afternoon as Bitzi chopped cucumbers for the accompanying salad. She had tried to get Bo to come back and have some with her and Buster after work, but Bo had already promised Rick he would join him, his daughter April, and April's husband Jimmy for dinner.

"Some tapas place in Belmont," he had explained as he loaded the dishwasher. "April is a big fan. Rain check?"

"Name the day."

"Uh, let me think… I'm chaperoning at the school dance next Saturday… How about Wednesday?"

"As long as you're good with chicken Alfredo…"

Buster was still out, though he was due back soon, and Bitzi could not wait for another person to be around, making noise. Although she had stayed busy all day long, the condo seemed empty since Bo left for Ingram. After a morning filled with gossip and banter, the sudden silence his absence left behind, cold as the weather outside, permeated her space, making her all too aware of its annoying presence. She switched on the kitchen radio, still tuned to NPR, for background noise as she went on about her day.

Once the vegetables were cut into manageable pieces, she let the chef's knife rest on the cutting board and dried her hands before turning down Fresh Air and crossing the room. She had left her phone on the table. Picking it up, she wrestled with the idea of texting Buster, just to check in. It was something she had promised to cut back on now that her son was older, to allow him more independence. Ultimately, she realized that she would only be doing it out of sheer need for person-to-person communication, which was silly, and she decided to let Buster be. The phone sounded before she could abandon it again, its loud chime bouncing off the kitchen walls. It was Jane Read, and Bitzi was eager to answer.

"If you wanted to spend time with Bo today," Jane said in a voice that was quiet but teasing, "all you had to do was say so. No need to invent a story about catching up on housework."

"Huh?" Bitzi said.

"The motorcycle? What's the deal?"

So that's what the look had been about this morning. Jane had seen Bitzi and Bo laughing over the mid-life-crisismobile, and now she was going to give her a hard time about it.

"Oh…that." Bitzi wandered back toward the cutting board and began to scoop up the cucumber bits and transfer them into the wooden salad bowl with one hand. "Bo was just showing me the bike he bought. Stella. And I did catch up on housework."

"Mm-hmm."

"Mm-hmm nothing," she laughed. "I'm afraid you're drawing entirely the wrong conclusion, Jane."

"Or, I saw you two in town while I was out running errands. No judging. As the kids say: You do you."

Bitzi shook her head as she popped open the dishwasher. "Okay, so we had breakfast, but that was it." She ran the cutting board under a stream of warm water before placing it inside but left the knife next to the sink for hand washing.

"Did you have a good time?"

She wanted to tell Jane how high school she was being right now, to dismiss her by making a mockery of her insinuations.

Oh my god, Jane, he bought me coffee and, like, totally touched my shoulder! We are so boyfriend and girlfriend and junk!

It made sense that Jane would be so inquisitive, sound so curious at the prospect of Bitzi and Bo sharing the same general space. After all, the divorce had seemed to devastate Jane as much as anyone. She had been in tears when Bitzi broke the news, and Bitzi asked her to explain why.

"I don't know! You were so good together. I guess I just don't understand how this could happen."

Bitzi could not tell Jane what had actually happened between her and Bo. She could not tell anyone, did not think she ever would be able to. But what on earth could she tell her? What were the plausible reasons? Why did average couples divorce? Surely, there were a multitude of explanations from which to choose:

He was abusive?

A liar?

A cheater?

A drunk?

Those were no good. Not even the vague "He wasn't the man I thought he was" would cut it. None of those things were true about Bo, to the point where the mere idea of uttering such blatant lies felt downright blasphemous. He was one of the most exceedingly, inherently good people she had ever known, a rare find in her world that revolved around exposing the ugly nature of certain other people. To besmirch his name with such unsavory attributes could very well condemn her soul to Hell, well, if she had not already done that the night she set Byron's safety aside to meet up with Elliot, a historically unpredictable man.

Bitzi had settled on, "We…grew apart. It happens."

"It happened awfully fast, though. I swear, it seemed like yesterday—you told me you were floating the idea of trying for baby number two. And now this? I'm so sorry, Bitzi…"

And now Jane's excitement was palpable over the phone line. More than excitement, there was hope in her "Did you have a good time?". She actually sounded hopeful. Had she secretly been wishing for a reunion all this time? Bitzi forgot about dinner and leaned on the counter with her free hand. She hated to burst Jane's bubble.

"Jane… It was a nice break, but I'm not seeing him, if that's what you're implying. We're…civil."

"And awfully smiley with each other, from what I could see…"

"Oh, stop," she groaned. "Just so you know, there is someone I'm thinking about seeing."

"Oh, a would-be suitor?" A new interest, it seemed, was piqued. "I'm listening…"

She told Jane about Joel, what he did for a living, how he was forty-seven and a divorcé, as well as all the other tidbits she had learned about him throughout their acquaintanceship.

"And his daughter Holly goes to Penn State. Let's see, what else…? He's into rock climbing and sailing, and he's third baseman for his company's team."

She went on about how they first met, how, in hindsight, their email exchanges had progressively grown friendlier and almost playful, and how perhaps she should have realized what was happening between them but had no idea until it hit her a few days ago.

"Maybe I've just been too busy to see what was in front of me, too preoccupied. All I know is I wasn't even looking for anyone, and now, out of nowhere, this nice, intriguing, good-looking guy is interested in me."

"Good-looking, too?"

"Mmm, and fashion-forward—probably the only man I've met who can pull off mustard-yellow slacks."

"He sounds like quite a catch," Jane agreed. "So, what's the holdup?"

"My complete shock, to start. It's one thing to be single and looking, quite another to be resigned to your busy-but-workaday world, only for it to be turned upside down by Prince Charming and possibilities."

The concept had to be hard for Jane, who had married young and managed to remain married for nearly sixteen years now, to grasp.

"For another thing, I'm terrible when it comes to sustaining relationships. You know that. I couldn't make it work with Harry, and I really cared about him. Every other attempt barely got off the ground. No sparks, or they all fizzled out before they had a real chance. I couldn't commit because I don't have enough time for a social life."

"We're adults with careers, Bitzi. How much time do any of us have for a social life?"

"So true, it's depressing," she said with a nod Jane could not see.

"My point is, if you want something badly enough, you'll make time. If you can find enough to galivant around town on the back of Stella with Captain Baxter, I'm sure you can set aside some time in your busy-but-workaday schedule for Mr. Noonan. I think a part of you wants to explore those possibilities, but you wonder why you should bother if this won't work out like with all the others. But what if it does?"

"You're saying the reason it never worked with anyone else is because I didn't want it to?"

"I'm saying only you know what you want. Maybe Joel does it for you; maybe he doesn't. Only you can determine that. He's interested, so maybe you could give him a shot. It could end up being nothing, or it could end up being spark city, and you will make time for that."

Jane's "just-go-with-it" attitude was all well and good, but there was a lot she still did not know.

"Maybe," Bitzi said weakly, "but…it's more complicated than that."

"What? What's complicated?"

"You're going to love this."

"What, Bitzi?"

"Bo—"

"Ha! I knew there was something!"

"It's not what you think. Things are…a bit more than civil. They're cordial. Because we've worked on it, for Buster's sake. I won't lie, it was rocky when he first got here, but we put in the effort and got past it, and now we're friends. And he does come over frequently. We have dinner, the three of us, and I don't know if I could trade the looks of happiness and content I see on their faces for anything. Suppose things take off with Joel. What happens to the civility, the cordiality? What happens to the rapport Bo and I have built?"

"You can still have it? Some things might have to change, but if Joel has any kind of decency, he won't object to you two having a sound line of communication or to Bo being in Buster's life."

"But the family dinners…"

"Well, yes, that's one of the things that will likely need to change. Just because Bo stops coming over to your place, that doesn't mean Buster can't go to his house for dinner, or even spend weekends there. They can do all sorts of things together—one of the advantages of Bo living here."

"You're right."

If only it were that simple.

"Is it wrong that I enjoy the family dinners too?"

"Wow, Bitzi…"

"Listen to me. Besides Bo, you're the first adult with whom I have discussed anything that isn't related to headlines or policy meetings in the past week. When he's around, I feel like I've got one of my best friends back. I don't exactly want to say goodbye to that. And I think…Bo feels the same way. We're in a good place, and it seems almost cruel to cut those ties. If things work with Joel, I'll probably have to. I mean, who wants to date a woman who's close with her ex-husband? Jane?"

Her friend was dumbfounded, and Bitzi had not told her even half of what was on her mind.

"Jane?"

"That's…a tough one. Now I'm afraid I might steer you wrong no matter what I say."

"See what I mean when I say it's complicated?"

"Yes, I think I do. It sounds like you've got a lot to work out. I take it Bo doesn't know about Joel?"

"Haven't said a word to him."

It had never been pleasant, having to inform Bo that she was seeing someone. Likewise, it always stung, at least a little, whenever he gave her similar news. They did not owe each other any explanations, but it had always been an inexplicable, unspoken courtesy each offered the other, and Bo always accepted her information with understanding and grace. This potential situation with Joel, however, was more than just a passing "Oh, by the way, I'm dating again" between two individuals who lived seven hours apart. It could be a life changer for everyone.

"Well," Jane said, sounding far less confident now, "maybe you and Bo will be able to figure something out. He's a good guy. He'll likely want what's best for you."

That was what Bitzi was afraid of, something she had come to realize through counseling and brutally honest conversations with her ex: Bo always wanted what was best for her, even if it caused him to die on the inside.

To be continued…