Chapter 14

Baxter for Hire

"So I was thinking…" Muffy said to Alan on Thursday morning. Inspiration had hit her, and she could not resist walking over to his locker and teasing him. "How about we switch things up a bit during tutoring this afternoon?"

Alan, who had just hung his coat, smoothed out the sleeves of his burgundy sweater and turned to her with an impressed, "Oh?" A look of great interest played across his face. "I'm open to new ideas if you have suggestions. What do you have in mind?"

"Since your exam is coming up on Saturday, you should put me in the driver's seat for a change, and I'll quiz you on the manual. And yes, the pun is intended."

She was speaking of Alan's learner's permit exam. When Alan realized this, his interest faltered. "I can't do that, Muffy," he said apologetically.

"Oh, come on," she said, poking him gently in the shoulder. "What's the matter—afraid I'll stump you for once?"

"I felt adequately stymied in Haute Vernis," he said, glancing down at his sneakers and shifting his weight from foot to foot without lifting them, "so there's no need for you to strive for that particular goal. My feet still slide around inside my socks. Is that normal?"

"Yes. Great, isn't it?"

"Ah… Thanks for offering, but I doubt your dad would approve of paying an exorbitant fee for you to help me study instead of the other way around. On an ordinary day, I might be up for it. But today? It would be—"

"Let me guess: unethical?"

"Yes. Exactly."

Muffy grinned. "So professional, Zen Master… You know I'm only playing?"

Alan smiled back with genuine amusement, authenticated by the twinkle in his eyes. Muffy knew it was something he had never been able to replicate while faking for others.

"I guessed," he said, "but one can't be too sure with you. You have big ideas, and you're very persuasive."

"Aww, you're pretty awesome, too. And you can stop studying, period. You've been reading that manual for weeks."

"One must plan for—"

"—important events in advance. But this one's in the bag. You and exams are a classic pairing, like peanut butter and jelly, or Louboutin and Chanel."

"I'll take your word regarding that last one," he said, lifting his heavy schoolbag from the floor and swinging it over one shoulder. "See you later…"

Alan shut his locker and waved goodbye before taking off for homeroom. Muffy went back to her locker to grab her things and prepare for the day. She took her Infinity from her purse and paused at her reflection in its mirrored screen, taking a moment to tuck a flyaway strand into the plait of her fishtail braid. She would be lying if she said she was not tempted to check her messages. Not knowing was killing her. What if she sneaked her Infinity into the bathroom and checked them, just to make sure? There were only two days left.

Two days! Come on, boys, what's the freaking holdup?

Muffy sighed, wishing Alan could return and give her a pep talk. She had never uttered a word about her desperation to him. He would be disappointed if he knew what was going through her mind this very moment, risking her wager with her father.

Maybe not, she reminded herself. She remembered his recount of trying to break into his locked shop, remembered how he had begged Prunella to come through for him at the second séance. He's been there. He's been desperate, too.

And he worried about her. Should she have told him what was bothering her? It would be nice, having someone who understood listen to her…

She dropped the Infinity back into her purse when she heard a loud voice nearby, afraid someone would rat her out and that she was done for. The voice turned out to be Ladonna's, and she was hurrying down the hall to catch up with Buster two lockers down. Muffy had not even noticed his arrival. Though moving quickly, Ladonna looked down this morning, trepidation weighing her normal smile into a tight line, and her pace slowed as she drew closer to Buster. What was this—trouble in Lusterland? Muffy pretended to rummage through her purse while Ladonna began, not fighting her desire to know more.

"I've got some good news and some bad news," Ladonna said to him.

Buster gasped, and Muffy could see in her periphery that he clutched a copy of Teen Health and Wellness 2 to his chest. "Chickin Lickin' burned down?" he said, panicked.

"No," said Ladonna. "Wait—what possible good news did ya think could come out of that?"

Buster shrugged. "I dunno. I've just always had an irrational fear of Chickin Lickin' burning down, so I try to stay prepared. What's going on?"

"Well, the good news is Gussie is gettin' married. He and Amanda—his fiancé, you see—are havin' a small ceremony at the nature center pond near the university. She's a real autumn lover, kinda like me, and it's supposed to be really scenic there, so that's nice… Anyway, it was a big ol' whirlwind thing, and now we're all travelin' to Virginia so we can attend it. I mean, Mama and Dad think it's too soon, but Mama also says the heart wants what it wants…so we're gonna be there to support him."

"That's…great," Buster said hesitantly, "but what's the bad news?"

"Ya mean besides the fact that this is all happenin' way too fast for a guy still in college? The weddin' is this weekend, I'm afraid."

"Oh… Oh."

"I know we said we'd go to the Autumn Ball together, but this really can't be helped. It's a Compson family affair. I'm sorry."

"No… No… That's okay."

"You look…disappointed. Aww, were ya actually lookin' forward to it?"

"Maybe just a little," Buster said. "Yeah, I was. I was working on a surprise for you, but… It's fine."

"That's sweet of ya. Well, ya can still give it to me when I get back. I'll be home before Monday mornin'. It's not like I'm movin' to Oregon or somethin'…"

Muffy watched as the two strolled away, Buster assuring Ladonna that he was not upset and he would occupy himself with video games until she got back. She never thought she would see the day Buster Baxter would be heartsick over not having a date for a school dance.

At least someone is still going to want him once the ball is over. Good for him, I guess.

As depressed as that thought made her, Muffy could not let it go. She did not realize it yet, but the wheels had already begun turning. She powered down her Infinity and left it in her locker, the temptation to jeopardize her freedom inexplicably diminished. She was ready to tackle school; subconsciously, however, her Crosswire mind was hard at work.

"No!" came a distressed cry that was unmistakably Jenna Morgan's, interrupting Muffy's internal pitch rehearsal while she changed into her street clothes after PE. When she looked to Jenna, the girl was ripping her gym bag apart, tearing item after item out of it in a frenzy and tossing each one onto the wide concrete bench.

"Where is it? I know I packed it this morning, and now it's gone! How?!"

Her voice echoed off the locker room walls. All the girls, in various stages of dress and undress had stopped to stare.

"What are you looking for?" said Muffy. "If it's your toiletries bag, feel free to take what you need out of my locker. But be careful with the perfume. Just spritz and walk."

"It's not that," Jenna said, still emptying her gym bag of its contents, her voice growing higher. "My GymMaster is missing."

"Come again?" said Muffy.

"She's talking about her interval timer," said Fern, who had just tied her boots. "She uses it to train. It's green and a little bigger than a matchbox. Are you sure you packed it today, Jenna? Maybe you just forgot?"

"I didn't forget. I packed my bag this morning, and I put the GymMaster on top of everything inside the bag. Now it's gone!"

"Jenna, it's okay," Sue Ellen said, stepping in, her voice soothing. "Do you know how sometimes, when you're all worked up, you can overlook what's right in front of you? It happens to me too. Just take a few seconds to calm down, then try searching for it again."

"Yeah," said Muffy. "Maybe it just fell all the way down to the bottom of your bag."

"My bag is empty." said Jenna. "I threw everything out of it already. Where did it go?"

"Retrace your steps," said Fern. "Think of every place you've been since packing your bag. Go to the office, too, and report it. If you want, I'll go with you. Maybe it'll turn up in the school's lost and found. It's bright green. No one would miss it if it's just lying around."

"Well…okay," Jenna said, looking defeated though still upset.

She hurriedly began shoving her things back into her bag, likely so she could make it to lunch on time. It was clear she was disheartened by the loss of her prized possession. Muffy knew a bit what that was like, and so she felt for her, but she needed to get a move on. She was eager to make it to lunch as well, for that was where she intended to put her plan into action. She needed to engage at just the right time and implement the right words, and maybe she would get by with help from a friend. She thought about her Infinity, still in her locker. Maybe a boy had come around, and maybe he had not. She could not wait around anymore, hoping for a date to fall into her lap. She would simply make things happen for herself. Alan was right—she had big ideas, and she could be very persuasive.

Buster walked up to the cafeteria window to deposit his empty tray. Save for an apple core, there was not much leftover to dump, but he did his part. He turned to exit, nearly crashing into Muffy, and he was grateful she was not holding a tray, for it would have spilled all over her. Muffy gave a tiny "Oof!" of surprise and stumbled back a couple of steps.

"Oh! Sorry, Muffy. Please don't beat me!" he said in exaggeration, shielding his face with his arms in a block position.

He had not really expected her to beat him, but he had at least expected her to grumble a "Watch out!" or "Hey, look before you turn!". Instead, Muffy smiled pleasantly at him.

"Don't be silly, Buster," she said with a nonchalant wave of her hand. "I'd never hit you. It was an honest mistake."

Buster froze. "Okay, what do you want?"

Muffy's face fell.

"It was that obvious, huh?"

"Classic Muffy Crosswire," he said with one simple nod.

Muffy gave a rueful you-got-me smirk and said, "I need to talk to you in private. Hallway?"

She gestured to the door and took off without checking to make sure he was following after her. Curious, Buster left the cafeteria in pursuit of her. Once they were out of the doorway, she spun around and Buster stopped as well. Her fingers were laced in front of her. She must have been at least a little nervous, for she began to fidget, rubbing her thumbs together.

"So, I'll just jump right into it," she said in a forced, professional manner. "Will you go to the Autumn Ball with me?"

Buster opened his mouth to respond, but stopped, confused. "You know you're talking to Buster Baxter right now, right?" he said after a moment.

"Yes," she said, sounding put upon that he was not taking her seriously. "Don't make this harder than it already is."

"Oh, you know I'm gonna," he said. "I don't know if you know this, but I kind of have a girlfriend."

"Oh, yes, I'm aware, Buster. Everyone is aware because you two are so showy. But I also know that Ladonna will be in Virginia this weekend, which means you are conveniently available."

"Muffy…" he said, trying not to crack up, "I'm flattered, I really am, but I am a committed man."

"I don't want to date you. Believe me, that's not what this is. I just need a date. Understand?"

"I recall you saying that you wouldn't go to the Autumn Ball with me, remember? You narrowed it down to a choice between that dude from Deadlight, that dude from One Tree Hill and not me. Were those guys busy or something?"

"Oh, I was pissed off then," Muffy said. "I didn't mean anything by it. Please?"

"Why me?"

"Because it's perfect, don't you see?"

"Not really.'

"Ohmigod… I'll level with you." As if they were not already alone in the hallway, Muffy lowered her voice. "No one has asked me to the Autumn Ball yet, and I'm starting to get kind of nervous. Make that really nervous. I've already bought my dress, and I've been looking forward to this. I don't want to be the girl who didn't get a date to the school dance. I don't want to be there alone, just standing around and drinking punch by myself."

"But I have a girlfriend."

"That's why it's perfect that I'm asking you. There are absolutely zero strings attached to this. We go as friends, dance, hang out, and then we go home."

Buster tried to assess Muffy's motivation. There was desperation in her eyes. He honestly did not think she was attracted to him or after him in any sort of romantic way. Maybe she was just afraid of being lonely. Maybe she was just afraid of looking foolish. Still, it felt wrong to take her up on the offer, in more ways than one.

"This doesn't feel good," he said. "Before Ladonna and I got together, I wasn't even sure I wanted to go to the Autumn Ball. Without her, I just don't see myself getting any enjoyment out of it. Maybe someone else will say yes if you ask. Sorry, Muffy…"

Buster left her for his locker. He was only a few paces away from Muffy when she spoke up again, her voice pleading.

"I'll pay you!"

Buster turned. "You're prepositioning me? Like I'm a prostitute?"

"It's 'propositioning'. And nooo. All I want is some company and maybe one dance."

"That kind of sounds like a prostitute to me. I think they're called male escorts, and that makes you my John, or whatever they call lady-Johns."

"I can't believe you're saying this to me right now," Muffy groaned. "Look—you're on the fence about going with me because you're with Ladonna, right? You'll feel like you're betraying her in some way. But if I'm paying you, it's like a job you have to do."

"I don't know, Muffy. Working on a perfectly good Saturday…"

"How great would it be if, when Ladonna gets back from Gussie's wedding, you could make up for the time you lost together by taking her out on a nice date. And from the amount I'm willing to pay you—trust me—it can be a very, very, nice, nice date."

Buster was torn. He remembered how much fun Ladonna had when he surprised her with a joyride at the Ingram Flight School. He remembered every gasp, every laugh, every "ooh" an "ah" and the way her eyes had sparkled, bright with happiness. It sure would be nice to experience all those things once more, to make her feel that way again. Maybe he would even work up the courage to kiss her. That would be very nice. In fact, it would be very, very, nice, nice, for the both of them, probably.

"Is this a trick?" he said, still unsure.

Muffy frowned at him and clasped her hands.

"No, I promise you that my word is my bond. What do you want, something in writing? Do you want it notarized? Half upfront? I'll do anything, Buster. Just please help me."

"Okay, okay. I believe you. You're on. We have a…da-ate." He pretended to gag on the last word.

"Oh, shut up," she said. "You mean it?"

"Yep. When you pay me, can I get it in singles so I can roll around in it like in that movie?"

Muffy smiled. Her whole body seemed to relax, and she breathed a sigh of relief. "As long as I'm not there to see it, you can do whatever you want with it. Great. Thank you, Buster. I'll be in touch."

"You got it, Johnny," he said with a salute.

Muffy pressed her lips together. "You're going to call me that for a while, aren't you?"

"Oh, yeah. I'll probably wear it out."

To be continued…