Chapter 36

We Need to Talk about Fern

What a time to be without a phone. There was no telling how many missed calls and texts Francine had waiting for her, calls and texts much like the ones Muffy, George, and Alan were answering now. Something terrible had happened to Fern overnight, sometime after ditching George at the Autumn Ball, and witnessing her trio of friends use their perfectly operational and juiced-up phones was annoyingly frustrating. From tiny bits of information she had pieced together from one side of their conversations, it seemed no one really new anything yet. Most had simply read about it online, and everyone in their class was calling everyone they knew, trying to get the scoop. At least Sue Ellen had possessed some sense. After talking with George and finding out he knew nothing, she had decided to call Mrs. Walters, promising she would get back with them once she knew more. Meanwhile, Muffy answered another call immediately after hanging up with Jenna.

"Hey, Ladonna," she said, fidgeting mindlessly with the end of her braid. "Yeah, we heard…I'm at the ice cream shop. So are Francine and George…No, I haven't read the post yet…Nobody knows anything, but Sue Ellen is trying to find out…"

In her periphery, Francine caught Alan scrolling through his phone.

"Oh, no," Muffy continued, "you shouldn't end your date early…I'll let you know as soon as we find out. Ladonna?"

Muffy looked disappointed upon hanging up, but she did not have much time to dwell on the call. Alan turned his phone's screen to face them, holding it out so they could gather round.

"I found the post," he said.

The screen showed a Facebook update written by Mrs. Walters at half past seven this morning:

Our Fernie was taken to the hospital last night, and she is in a lot of pain. Please keep her in your thoughts and prayers.

"How nice of Mrs. Walters to keep it simple with two sentences," Francine muttered as Alan resumed scrolling. "Cut out all the fat, like, you know, what the hell actually happened to Fern."

"She's probably worried," said Muffy. "If Fern's condition is serious, maybe she didn't want to take the time to explain everything, but asking for help from people comforts her a little."

A year ago, such thoughtful reasoning would have sounded weird coming from Muffy, and it definitely would have earned a bitingly snarky tease from Francine. Knowing now what she knew about how the Crosswires had worried during Chip's absence years ago, Francine figured Muffy had gained some insight regarding situations like these.

"Yeah, but still…." was all Francine could manage.

George wrung his hands. He appeared to still be shivering beneath his parka and fur-lined ushanka. "Look at the comments," he said. "Does she say anything there?"

"That's what I'm doing…" Alan said, eyes darting back and forth as he skimmed, thumb swiping upward repeatedly. "She hasn't replied to any so far, but there are over three hundred comments. Mrs. Walters has a lot of friends—oh! Good morning!"

Muffy and George took over the search while Alan hastily placed his phone under the counter and tended to the customers who had just entered the shop, a young cat man with two small boys. As time passed and the Facebook comments proved to be a bust, MCM students began trickling in. First was Jenna, who wanted to make sure Muffy had not learned anything new through the grapevine. Binky and Maria showed up shortly after, having abandoned their plans to go to the Sugar Bowl together. Almost everyone present was in the eighth-grade class, the exception being a scant few seventh-grade members of the Not Ready for High School Players that included Collette Stephens and Vivian Bickman, who sat at a table and whispered to each other. Like Jenna, they all wanted to know if Muffy had heard anything. It was subtle, but Francine could sense Muffy growing more and more irritated every time someone exclaimed, "But you're the gossip queen! How could you not know?" Kaitlyn Dorsey, a seventh-grade crew member was the last one to approach Muffy when Francine intervened on her best friend's behalf.

"Okay, listen up, everyone!" she said loudly. "Sue Ellen is trying to find out what happened. As soon as she knows, we'll know…."

Her voice faltered, not because Luster had entered the shop, but because Arthur had met them at the door.

"If you're here to ask Muffy about Fern, you're wasting your time," Francine told him coolly once he had squeezed through the crowd to get to the counter while wearing an unusual expression.

"I'm here for a shake," Arthur said, matching her tone as Buster and Ladonna sidled up to stand behind him. "And what are you talking about?"

"You mean you don't know?" said Buster. "Haven't you been on Facebook?"

Arthur really did seem confused. Maybe that was the look Francine had previously been unable to read. He turned to speak to Buster.

"I've been doing chores since you left. Why? What's up with Fern?"

The shop immediately became abuzz as the young teens took turns explaining to Arthur how shocked they were to find out about Fern that morning and how frustrated they were that they had no answers.

"Guys? Guys!" said Alan, who was pacing behind the counter. "I appreciate that you've all chosen to converge here, but I simply can't allow you to loiter. We're at maximum occupancy and you're using all available space for possible patrons."

"That means 'place your orders'," said Muffy. "I'll have an apple crumble cone-crete, please."

A line began to form behind Arthur, and for the next few minutes, Alan worked faster than Francine had ever seen him work, scooping ice cream onto cones, spinning shakes, and mixing up various cone-cretes, somehow not allowing himself to become rattled by the students shouting their requests. In fact, he seemed to be thriving under the pressure. Conversation continued. Not long after the last person was served, who happened to be Buster, back for another Coffachio triple-dip, Sue Ellen walked through the door. A hush fell over the shop in a matter of seconds. Sue Ellen's face was long, but she did not appear to have been crying, which must be a good sign. It also was not lost on Francine that she made a beeline for Arthur and gave him a soft half-smile.

"So?" George asked, voice trembling.

Sue Ellen cleared her throat. "I spoke with Fern's mom and, according to her, Fern took a nasty fall while hiking yesterday. She has a broken leg, some broken ribs, and a lot of scrapes and bruises, but she's going to be okay with time." She paused for several mumbled statements of disbelief and audible sympathetic noises. "She has been released from the hospital and is on her way home right now."

Francine caught George by the sleeve as he made for the door and said, "Where are you going?"

"To see Fern," he said.

"I…asked about that," Sue Ellen said gently, "and Mrs. Walters would prefer we wait until Fern has had time to settle in and get some quality rest before we visit her. But she also said she appreciates everyone thinking of Fern. I honestly think she was shocked by the outpouring of concern."

George appeared to consider Sue Ellen's words, then nodded. "Okay."

"I don't understand," said Jenna. "Hiking? Why would she leave in the middle of the Autumn Ball to do something she's done countless times?"

Francine had to admit the explanation sounded hella fishy. "You were the last one of us to speak to her," she said to George. "She really didn't tell you anything about what she planned to do? She didn't say anything that seemed weird?"

"She told me that there was something she needed to do and that she would be back," said George. "If anyone asked where she was, I was supposed to tell them she went home. At first, I believed her. I thought she would come back. I mean, why would she lie to me? I had no clue where she was going or what she planned to do."

"Well, I saw Fern do something weird," said Jenna. "We go for runs a lot, and all of a sudden she starts showing up in hiking boots and a weighted backpack. When I asked her what the deal was, she told me she was 'training', but she never told me what for. I guess now we know. That must be some hike she went on."

"Holy Schnikes…" Buster muttered, almost to himself, then, "And I think I know where she was going! She left school to travel up Raccoon Hill!"

"Raccoon what now?" said Ladonna.

Buster explained that Racoon Hill was actually Van Houten Farms and how Fern had wanted to hike onto the property and get a good look at the land and the old farmhouse, research for a novel she was writing. It sounded almost too fantastical and out of character for Fern, but on second thought, did it? Really? She could be so private, so who could know for sure? Buster and Fern had worked together pretty closely for a while. It was possible she had revealed facts about herself to him that no one else could have readily guessed.

"And then she said there was a sweet spot—a sort of shortcut, I guess—and all she'd need to do is enter the woods behind MCM to access it. I'm sure that's what happened—she left for Raccoon Hill, but something went crazy wrong along the way. It just makes sense, don't you think? Sue Ellen?"

"Well," said Sue Ellen, "Fern doesn't tell me everything, but if I know one thing about her, it's that she loves writing more than anything. If she thought this trip to…Raccoon Hill would improve her story even slightly, then I wouldn't put it past her to give it her best shot. But I guess I won't know until I speak to her."

Binky piped up with, "It's not that I'm not relieved that Fern's gonna be okay, 'cause I am. That's awesome. But I think we're all forgetting a ginormous issue here."

"Which is?" said Buster.

"That Fern is outta commission, and that means she's also outta The Music Man. What are we gonna do?"

"Oh, you big worrywart," said Jenna with a wave of her hand, "that's no big thing. Francine is Fern's understudy. It's all good. Better than good. Right, Francine?"

Francine's stomach sank. She, too, had managed to momentarily forget that the duty now fell on her to step into Fern's shoes and play Marian. She swallowed hard and tried to force a confident smile that would not manifest. "Heh heh…" she laughed nervously. "Yeah. About that…."

Arthur was already giving her a side-eye glance. Francine was trying her best to quickly figure out how she was going to let them all down and confess that she had given up on her understudy duties and had tried her hardest to forget that Coach Sorrell had ever selected her for the job. She needed to break it to them gently, not to mention humbly, because the truth of the matter was this was a catastrophic eff-up on her part, and she had inadvertently thrown the whole operation sideways. She was panicking on the inside, and everyone who had stakes in the school musical was now staring at her expectantly.

Oh balls, she thought.

To be continued…