Fireflies drifted around her like tiny chartreuse globes, fading in and out. Zelda was grateful for the comfortably humid evening air of Damel Forest, welcoming it against her skin.
She, along with Link and Impa, approached the entrance to the Spring of Courage, which was marked by the wide-open maw of a stone dragon, carved by an ancient tribe in the distant past. Zelda pushed ahead of them, ascending the stone steps and moving towards the spring at the end of the walkway, eager to get this whole ordeal out of the way.
Zelda looked back momentarily at her companions. Link had stopped some distance away and had his back turned to them, guarding the two women should monsters encroach on Zelda's duty at the spring.
Impa gestured for Zelda to get in, giving her a reassuring smile. "Rest upon the knowledge that you were born for this purpose, and it will come."
Zelda hung her head and didn't protest, not speaking aloud what she was feeling. She could already foresee the result of this attempt and she dreaded disappointing Impa, already angry with herself for wasting her and Link's time.
It's their duty… She sighed inwardly.
She made her way over the last bit of the walkway, taking careful, long strides as she navigated the stepping stones. Fallen leaves floated in the ankle-deep, crystal clear waters of the spring.
She began her prayers aloud, watching the water ripple around her as she waded towards the statue of the Goddess Hylia.
"I will do whatever I can, as I am right now. Even if all I have to give is my faith that things will work out. This is the thread I have been following all this time." Zelda hated the worn-down quality of her voice.
She stared up at the Goddess statue. It had a simple smile chiseled on its face, and Zelda couldn't help but feel a tinge of irritation. It was almost like it was mocking her, as silly as that sounded. She tried to reason it away and refocus. She was already quite exhausted just from the journey itself, and there was a terrible ache in her heart, weighing her down.
What's wrong with me? Am I not enough? Or am I just a joke to you?
Her thoughts threatened to wander further, and she attempted to reign them in, knowing she could not afford to become distracted. Time was running out.
But it was too late. And she could almost hear the statue whisper back. "It's because you're not trying hard enough... You've got a poor attitude... It's because you're wrong. It's because you're impure, not holy like all the royal girls of the past. You're a stain…"
Every real or imagined slight she's ever endured came to mind and she broke. Zelda unclasped her hands, letting them fall to her sides.
"I can't… I can't do this…"
"Princess Zelda?" Impa called out in concern from the edge of the spring. "Why don't you take a moment of rest before you continue?"
The strained encouragement and dismay in Impa's voice struck a nerve.
"But we just got here…" Zelda replied, embarrassed that she had lost her composure so soon.
Link turned to give Impa and Zelda a pitying look but said nothing.
Impa clenched a fist, a look of resolve dawning in her eyes. "Okay, I want you to try this. You say whatever is on your mind and know that there is nothing you can say that will make us think less of you. You can get whatever it is off your chest, and then you can try again with a clear mind. Need to scream and rage? Want to gush about something you love? Anything. No judgment."
Zelda gave Impa a strange look. It was the most unorthodox suggestion.
"It works for Purah when she gets stuck in her research." Impa nodded to Zelda. "At least give it a try."
"All of the research into the relics—if I cannot awaken to my power—will have been in vain. Impa, you are carrying out your duties with such grace, just as much as Link and the Champions. I am the only one who cannot live up to her own potential..."
"I didn't ask you to self-flagellate, and there's no need to butter me up. I'm asking you to air your rawest and darkest thoughts and emotions. Come on, give the Goddess a confession that will make her proud!"
Zelda made a startled noise, and her eyes seemed to double in size. "I- I don't have anything to confess…!"
If she didn't know any better, she would have thought Purah had used a glamor spell to impersonate Impa.
Zelda bit her lower lip, knowing there was no use trying to fool her closest companion and royal aide. "Well, I…" She took a steadying breath. "If you must know…. I can't help but—"
The Princess's features went lifeless, being frozen in place as she was enveloped in a transparent dome characterized by a feverish pink glow and Sheikah constellations.
"Your Highness!" Impa lept towards the dome, noticing with alarm that Zelda's eyes appeared lifeless. The irises had gone a faded green as if they were viewing something beyond their perception. Her lips were slightly parted as if in surprise.
Link quickly closed the distance between himself and Impa, joining her feeble attempt to dispel the magical barrier holding the princess.
Impa pressed anxiously against the dome. "Is this the power? Please tell me it's the power…" Impa's voice went up an octave, although already knowing this was a ridiculous conclusion.
Link shook his head, pounding on the barrier with a look of desperation and recognition in his eyes.
Zelda's gaze focuses on the Prophet of Doom. They both stand within an expansive luminous pink dome with its constellations swirling around them. Outside the dome, there is nothing but darkness. He's not facing her, but he looks like he's waiting for her.
Her lips part as she stares after him, relief washing over her that he had not perished as she'd feared. And she considers how strange this is, to worry over a man who is the enemy of herself and her kingdom. But that is the strength of her feelings towards him.
He is the subject of her sweetest restless dreams, and her lingering thoughts of him make her feel as though she is drifting. She finds it helps her get by. It is that yearning that gives her joy and cripples her all at once.
He had summoned her for some reason, and her heart skips a beat wondering what he could want.
And, at last, he speaks and a not unpleasant shiver sweeps over her at the timbre of his voice. "Good evening, your Highness..."
It's far less antagonistic than their previous meetings. What has changed? Did something happen?
Astor turns to her, and she's not sure what to make of his expression, but it's different from the way he's looked at her before. She can feel his eyes on her, but she doesn't move to cover herself, letting his gaze fall over her. His pale complexion does nothing to hide a massive bruise on his cheek, and Zelda's hand goes to her chest.
Astor fidgets with his hood, trying to hide his face from her when she flinches. "Are you wondering how I came to be in such a sorry state? A certain princess ordered her Champions to attack the Yiga Hideout and Kohga's right hand took exception to that…'' He said, irritation in his voice.
"I did no such thing! I was trying to protect you. I begged you to stay, but you wouldn't listen."
"Hmph! It is not befitting for you, Princess of Hyrule, to fear for my safety. I know the future and you do not. I am not expendable, unlike the Yiga. Ganon would not allow me to fall, for I have his resurrection and victory to ensure," He says, falling back on old habits.
Zelda recognizes doubt in his voice. She has heard the same pained inflections in her own prayers.
"Ganon's chosen or not, you are mortal. I can't imagine Ganon to be a merciful master who would revive you if you were to fall. Did Ganon even punish those who did this to you?"
Astor didn't answer, her point having landed.
"So… What are you going to do now?"
The question catches Astor off guard, but he responds with what comes naturally and makes him most comfortable, not ready to feel disloyal to Lord Ganon and fearful of what the Calamity would do if it knew he was using its power to talk to the princess. "Continue my purpose without them, of course, and when the Calamity returns the Yiga Clan will face the full brunt of Lord Ganon's wrath."
"Just tell me… Does my seventeenth birthday mark the return of Calamity Ganon? Is it true?"
Astor nods, giving her a taunting smile. "The day I've been looking forward to…The day Hyrule falls. And you won't awaken your power in time to stop it."
He doesn't know why he persists in torturing this poor girl. It's like he can't help but try to sabotage Hylia's plan for him, locked into his devotion to a master he knows will be his undoing.
"Then… I'll just have to go to the Spring of Wisdom early. I don't care if I get in trouble or what happens to me as a result. If my father wants to punish me, that's fine. At least no one could say I didn't try…not even him." Zelda thought back to what Impa said, but she wasn't confessing her most personal thoughts to Hylia, she was telling them to Astor.
"Naughty Naughty... Breaking Lanayru's decree, are you? Nice try, Your Highness, but you don't stand a chance of holding back the Calamity, even by going up to Mount Lanayru prematurely." Astor couldn't help but admire her devotion to her duty. Perhaps they weren't that dissimilar from each other.
Zelda sighs. "Maybe you are what's wrong with me." A sad, introspective expression crosses her features. "You…being the reason I can't find my power… Does that give you some satisfaction?"
Astor blinks. Was she even listening to him? It is like she is in her own little world as she looks at him… And Astor knows he has already lost to her. He is overcome at how vulnerable and beautiful she is at that moment, and he is stunned into silence by her admission.
He had summoned her to shake her companions to the core and make a show of his power, or at least that is what he convinced himself of to not feel like a failure before Lord Ganon for wanting to see her so badly, but it is the princess who breaks down all his defenses with her words and her gaze. He can see the weariness and desire in her eyes. A desire for him?
"What do you want from me? Why did you bring me here?" She asks.
"I… I don't know…" He says, and he sounds...afraid? Zelda's heart melts. Was she actually getting through to him?
"Astor… I hope you will allow me to give you what Calamity Ganon cannot…"
It's all too much. Something in him involuntarily shuts down and he panics, losing all control of the illusion. The dome shatters around them violently, and Zelda gives a startled scream, shielding her eyes as she reaches out for him.
Zelda blinked a few times and then looked at Impa and Link with surprise. "Oh…"
"Your Highness, you're not hurt are you?"
It took her a moment to fully come to. "Oh no, I'm fine," she said, managing a melancholy smile. "I… I think I'm ready to continue."
Link and Impa exchanged suspicious looks.
"Wait a minute. Aren't you going to tell us what that was?" Impa demanded.
"Oh… That was…Astor." Zelda said, trying to keep her voice serious in tone, and avoiding their inquisitive gazes. She could feel herself blushing intensely and hoped they couldn't see it.
"What? That was him?" Impa looked as if she was about to ask a dozen questions, but Zelda cut in.
"Calm down, Impa. I'm fine, really," she said, gently.
They stayed for about an hour more. Zelda returned to her prayers with renewed vigor. And though she remained unsuccessful, she left the spring smiling.
After a day of rest, Zelda proceeded to the Spring of Power in Akkala, once again going through the motions of what was expected of her.
Her seventeenth birthday was closing in. She was growing more and more disillusioned by the day, although not willing to give up.
Zelda recalled when she'd first began her training at the age of seven. Urbosa had accompanied her to the spring during the winter months. The idea was to push her mind and body to the limit by standing in freezing cold water, and she had done just that for hours growing weaker and weaker. Urbosa had rescued her when she noticed the young girl begin to sway. Zelda had become very ill from that incident.
Now she stood in that same spring nearly a decade later, although thankfully in a much warmer time of year.
Would prayer truly awaken her power? She was questioning it more and more these days.
She thought of her mother, trying to recall the exact words she used to say, but that memory grew more indistinct the longer time dragged on.
Mother promised that her own power would develop within me… But she was wrong…
It was becoming harder and harder to return to the castle with each unsuccessful attempt, mostly because her father's expression told her he was disappointed, but not surprised.
When she returned from the Spring of Power, King Rhoam issued a decree to evacuate Hyrule Castle Town, instructing his citizens to take shelter in outlying villages.
She could hardly occupy the same room with him. The silence between them said everything. How she wished he could spare even one kind word.
She retired to her chambers early, and that night she descended into the most vivid dream.
She looks out over what can only be the Spring of Wisdom, which is completely taken over by red-purple matter she has seen before in the Lost Woods, which appears sludge-like and toxic.
It's a manifestation of Calamity Ganon's hatred, she realizes. Malice...
And she sees the eyes looking up at her—like the circlet Astor wears to signify his role as Calamity Ganon's chosen.
She doesn't want to get in, but she knows she must.
And so she calmly steps into the malice, wading through the waist-deep, undulating corruption.
She stands there a moment in silence, just accepting the state of things, and then she perceives a light growing above her. She looks up to see the Goddess—Or at least the same woman from the dream she had before.
The Goddess peers down at her, but once again, no matter how urgently she speaks, the Goddess is silent. Zelda focuses, trying to read the movement of her lips.
"Wake up" or "Don't give up."
"Go now!"
"Rise!"
Prometheus17: Hope you like what I'm doing with Astor here. A lot of people really hate Astor for being a 'dull' villain or 'like cardboard'. The Zelda games never really give their villains a ton of backstory, though. They're just supposed to serve their purpose as someone who opposes Link and Zelda's mission, the canon Astor does this pretty viciously. Personally, I like a little mystery. I often wonder what Astor would have done if he had a 'reality check' of sorts and realized he was just Ganon's pawn.
Faylian: Man, I love when the big bad villain shows some vulnerability. And luckily we do get those moments in canon occasionally. Rhoam needs to stay in his lane. I understand the frustrations that come with being a parent, but DINDAMN dude, that's not how you talk to your practically grown daughter who is struggling with depression and self-worth issues. Zelda's of the past have single-handedly run the kingdom, but poor botw/aoc Zelda has to play second fiddle to an overbearing father, who seems to never throw a kind word her way (unless of course she's already unlocked her power and has thus proven herself not a failure, after all, then suddenly he wants to come around like he was always proud of her. Oooof!)