Kohga and Sooga sat on a grassy hillside looking out over the desolation that was Hyrule Castle. Harsh clouds rolled overhead, obscuring the sun's light.
"I can't believe he chose princess booty over Lord Ganon. There's got to be a law against that," Kohga grumbled.
The swine-like apparition that hung over Hyrule Castle issued a low roar that shook Kohga and Sooga where they sat.
"Oh shut up, you!" Kohga screamed, raising a fist high in the air.
Sooga recovered and turned to Kohga. "A false prophet, just as you said before, but Master Kohga, you were the one who joked about that happening constantly… How did you know?"
"...I… I did and I didn't…" Kohga choked out, still coming to terms with the prophet's heel turn.
Him… Of all people… If I had a banana for every time prophecy man went on a diatribe about how he was chosen...
Kohga clarified "I mean, I could just tell by the way he was lookin' when he called up those visions. So completely absorbed and all... You didn't even have to see his expression to know. At times it was like he did it just to see her."
"I guess I never really paid attention to that. If I had, I would have chalked it up to homicidal fantasies."
Kohga would have smiled at Sooga's words if it weren't for the dire situation they faced.
"And now the Calamity is here, and our men are dropping like flies on the rotten banana pile in prophecy man's mind and it's more than just him killing them in defense of the princess… The Guardians are slaughtering without partiality. Calamity Ganon is displeased... I'm starting to wonder why I ever thought Ganon might spare us… Not to mention, I can't stop thinking about how that woman came out of nowhere in a flash of light to save prophecy man."
"Please don't think me a heretic, Master Kohga, but I believe that was the Goddess worshipped by the Sheikah and Hylians herself…"
"Hylia? Nah, looked nothin' like her. She didn't even have wings."
"But, who else could it have been? She appeared in a brilliant flash of light, and from the brief moment I saw her, she did greatly resemble the princess."
"Hmm... I'm starting to wonder if we're on the wrong side of Hylian history…" Kohga quipped.
"What do you propose we do? I've had my doubts about Calamity Ganon for some time now, but the Hylians aren't going to welcome us with open arms… The Yiga Clan has done some unspeakable things throughout the ages."
"But Sooga, there is no Yiga Clan now! Even our most competent men who seized the Sheikah tech lab have all fallen to the Guardians. Lord Ganon, it was terrible! What am I saying?! Ganon isn't looking out for us at all. It's almost like it wants to exterminate all—."
A mechanical avian shriek pierced their ears drawing their attention skyward to Vah Medoh, malice trailing from its wings like smoke. The Rito Champion soared high above the Divine Beast, and he appeared to be growing weary and wavering as he fought against a phantom stirring up tornados, and Kohga and Sooga immediately knew it could only be something Ganon had made.
"Looks like the Rito Champion is in trouble."
"You don't say..." Kohga replied. "Let's help him!"
Kohga and Sooga rose quickly and willed themselves to reappear aboard Vah Medoh in a flurry of smoke and falling talismans.
They took in the scene, seeing the shard of Calamity Ganon in all its terrible glory.
The phantom leveled its hand cannons at the Champion, sending out blast after blast of blue energy. Revali weaved through the air, dodging the succession of shots fired upon him.
Revali readied the Great Eagle Bow, preparing to loose three explosive arrows upon his adversary, but he was outmatched by the blight's speed. Revali took a hit and sharply sucked in a breath. "Just a scratch."
"Stand back, Master Kohga. I will fight this beast myself," Said Sooga, joining Revali in his fight.
"You… You belong to the Yiga Clan…" Revali caught his breath. "What are you doing?" The Rito glanced at Sooga and then back at Windblight Ganon, trying to divide his attention between the two, nearly taking aim at the Yiga bodyguard in his confusion.
"Interceding. It looks like you need help."
Revali was taken aback. "But you're… And I don't need... Oh, never mind…"
Sooga drew the dual blades that rested at his hips and readied himself to face the shard of Calamity Ganon head-on.
oOo
The Master Cycle sped across the well-worn paths of Hyrule Field. Zelda held firmly to the handlebars and there were moments her heart would skip a beat in her chest when they ran over an unexpected bump on the path. Despite her nerves, she had to savor the moment, for Astor held tight to her. Under happier circumstances, this would have been all she ever wanted.
Zelda seemed to be a natural with ancient Sheikah technology, and Astor wondered vaguely why she was so down on herself all the time. She even shyly admitted she preferred it to her royal steed, citing its magnificent speed and the consistent, straightforward nature of technology.
Dueling Peaks loomed on the horizon and they continued along the path. In time she spotted a bokoblin encampment in the distance, along with the enticing salty aroma of smoked fish, and Zekda laid off the throttle.
The pair had stopped to pick and eat apples on their way to the Royal Ancient Tech Lab, which had just barely kept the hunger pangs at bay. And even so, it had been many hours since then. By now she felt like she was starving, yet Zelda knew taking the bokoblin's meal wouldn't be simple. She couldn't help but recall the last time she'd tried to take out a bokoblin camp and how that attempt had backfired.
Zelda wracked her brain, trying to come up with a new strategy, but as she came closer she saw that all the pig-like creatures were already dead and two figures were milling about the camp.
Looks like I'm not the only one who thought to raid a bokoblin camp for a meal, Zelda thought to herself.
As soon as the figures came into clearer view, Zelda decelerated sharply and Astor tightened his grip around her waist to steady himself. The Master Cycle came to a screeching halt, catching the attention of Purah and Robbie. The two Sheikah researchers each held a strange weapon that resembled a Guardian leg with a claw on each end.
"Princess!" Purah gave her a wide smile. "And… oh...oh...!"
Zelda got off the Master Cycle gracefully despite the gown she wore. Astor carefully got off as well, trying to maintain his dignified and calm demeanor despite his frayed nerves. He hung a few steps behind Zelda as she rushed over to the pair of researchers.
"Purah! Robbie, I'm so relieved you're both safe!"
"As I am you… I see you've found the Master Cycle and that you got your man!" Purah proclaimed in a celebratory manner.
"Yes... Thankfully the Yiga Clan didn't run off with it or destroy it."
Robbie chuckled at Zelda's reply and turned to her companion. "So, you're Astor… The Prophet of Doom himself!" Robbie gave the prophet a crooked smile. "Her Highness had a lot to say about you."
"Yeah, I'd look out for that one. She's already planned your wedding and picked out the names of all your future children from the moment she laid eyes on you." Purah said matter-of-factly.
Zelda stared straight ahead, unmoving and unable to control the guilty grin that spread across her face. She stumbled over her words "Ah! I mean, I…" Zelda blushed furiously, wanting to crawl into a hole and never come out.
Astor blinked, pressing his mouth into a thin line. He could almost hear Hylia's voice whisper in the back of his mind.
"T w i…. "
I hate you! I hate you! Astor mentally screamed, cutting the Goddess off. He still couldn't believe this was happening—the feeling too surreal to properly contend with.
The young Sheikah woman was smiling, finding enjoyment in watching the princess and the seer squirm, and Astor was trying so hard to show no outward sign of discomfort. Already Zelda had lost that battle, and her involuntary admission nearly made Astor break into a fit of nervous laughter.
These were the famed Sheikah researchers in charge of coming up with solutions in the war against Calamity Ganon?
Mercifully, Purah made a suggestion that somewhat cleared the air.
"Oh! Let's get a true-to-life image of you two lovebirds. Princess, lend me your Shiekah Slate a moment."
"Oh uh…" Zelda realized what Purah was asking of her and looked to Astor in a kind of daze, who appeared even more confused by the request. After a moment, Zelda decided to humor Purah and fished the relic out of a pouch attached to the Master Cycle.
Zelda handed Purah the slate. "Here..."
"Alright, stand close together and act natural." Purah raised the Sheikah Slate, getting Zelda and Astor in frame.
"Astor, why don't you put your hand on Zelda's shoulder."
Astor did as he was asked, and Zelda allowed herself to rest against his body, side by side. He stood a full foot over her.
"Go on Astor, tell Zelda how beautiful she is!" Purah said, trying to coax a smile out of the couple.
Neither did, the two shifting listlessly as if they'd been put on the spot. Zelda's expression was shy and unfocused with her hands clasped in front of her. Astor wasn't smiling, but he didn't look displeased either.
"Ok, that'll do. Click, snap!"
The Sheikah Slate made a satisfying snap, and Purah took a moment to appraise the image.
"Oh yes, this is perfect!" Purah said and handed the slate back to Zelda.
Zelda presented the image to Astor, holding the slate between them.
His finger brushed the screen as he spoke. "It really is a true-to-life image... It has captured your beauty in a way no human hand could ever replicate."
Zelda smiled at his words, knowing she would cherish this image.
She returned the slate to its pouch on the Master Cycle and rejoined the others.
"So, how's the Master Cycle handle? It looks like you've become quite proficient with it already. Way to go, Princess! You do have a knack for Sheikah technology. AND you even managed with the extra weight of a passenger. Impressive!"
Zelda didn't smile, although the praise touched her in an incomprehensible way. "It was you and Robbie who did wonderfully in creating it. You have both proven useful in the fight against the Calamity," Zelda said, like a sad refrain.
Purah motioned to the fish skewers cooking at the heart of the bokoblin encampment. "Are you guys hungry? I know we are. Why don't you join us? Don't make us eat alone." The cheerful rise and fall of Purah's voice lifted Zelda's spirit.
Zelda forced a smile. "We'd love to."
"Alright, help me get things set up. Try to find something we can use for seating and soon dinner will be served faster than you can say click, snap!"
"Click, snap…" Astor repeated in a cold, monotone inflection.
It only took a few moments to locate a pair of logs, which were promptly rolled towards the bokoblin camp. The skewers were divided equally among the four and they began to eat.
Robbie and Purah dominated most of the conversation, and the banter flowed easily. Zelda envied the unwavering optimism of the two, although she was comforted at their willingness to give Astor the benefit of the doubt. She recounted to the two researchers what had happened up until that moment—giving attention to her journey up to Mount Lanayru and the moment the Calamity struck.
Astor picked at the fish skewer self-consciously, not being accustomed to eating in any sort of social situation.
"So Astor, what have you done for the princess to make up for breaking that little Guardian, if I may be so bold?" Robbie asked lightheartedly enough.
Astor flinched, trying to decipher the Sheikah's intentions behind the inquiry, wondering if it was a trick question and Robbie would respond with an off-color remark like Purah.
"A-anything she asks of me..." Came Astor's flustered reply, and then realized he'd walked right into it.
Robbie merely smiled. "I see you have the right attitude!"
The course of the conversation drifted elsewhere and Zelda began to grow restless, longing to hear about the repair status of Terrako, but couldn't bring herself to ask, scolding herself for caring so much when Hyrule was on the brink.
Now that the Calamity was underway, vastly more people would fall to the very technology meant to protect them. It was just so overwhelming and so ironic in the worst way.
Zelda thought back to all those years ago when her father had ordered the Guardians to be excavated and studied. What had once seemed the natural and wise solution had been turned against them.
Zelda felt a surge of hatred for Calamity Ganon. It was far more personal now than she ever imagined. But mixed in was her own self-loathing. How was she expected to defeat an unstoppable force such as the Calamity without her awakened power?
What if I have the blood of all Hyrule on my hands. I could have done something, anything more to awaken my power in time… What if Father is right and I am deserving of every unkind thing he must think of me…
A sudden feeling of dread manifested in her core, an intensely sick feeling in the pit of her stomach and she found she'd lost her appetite, despite finishing the fish skewer and still feeling hungry a moment before.
"Princess? What is it?" Purah asked cautiously from her spot opposite Zelda.
Directly confronted, Zelda lost control of everything she was trying to hold in. "I'm sorry, I can't… Purah, Robbie… It's all my fault… I've failed everyone… Please forgive me. " Zelda's breathing hitched.
"There's no pressure, Princess…" Purah offered, trying to channel what Impa would say in this situation. "We're going to get through this."
"Am I ever going to awaken this cursed power?" Zelda wailed as hot tears streamed down her cheeks in fat, languid droplets.
Astor took Zelda's hand and stroked his thumb over her skin as he consoled her softly. "You will. It's coming... I swear," His calming, melodic voice soothed.
She turned to him, expression rigid, and her eyes glistening with moisture.
He inclined his forehead to hers. Zelda felt the coolness of his circlet rest against her skin and his braid tickle her cheek. He pressed his lips to hers so tenderly, and the tears in her eyes welled over and slipped down her cheeks and onto him. Their kiss was nearly obscured to the two onlookers by his hood.
Faylian: "Peeping Tom Harbinger salty that the Prophet of Doom is stepping out on him."
Urbosa, voice of reason. I think she does it because she was such close friends with the Queen of Hyrule, so she feels comfortable telling Rhoam how its going to be.
Prometheus17: Can you tell I watch too many horror movies? I wanted to portray how brutal the Calamity would actually be if it wasn't a (you know) Nintendo game. lol It's kind of flattering to hear that readers have enjoyed (I use that word loosely) the way I've written King Rhoam. They love to hate him. And that's great! And you're not the only one who has had a lot to say about him.