"Buffy, listen to me. Think this through."
"For once, Slayer, Mr. Broodypants has the right of it. This is a bad idea."
Buffy sat cross-legged on her royal bed as if meditating. "That text hasn't steered me wrong yet. Iron Siaka's a pain to keep locked up, but since I started monologuing to appease the Yozis I feel a lot better." She hesitated. "Like a bad comic book mastermind, but still better."
"Appeasing the Yozis is one thing," Angel explained. "But I can't see why anything they'd let you learn could ever 'purge Yozi taint'. What do they get out of it?"
"I don't know," Buffy admitted. "But it says right out, 'the energies of Adorjan flow out of one's body'. What else could that do?"
"Nothing good for you, Slayer. It also calls this a shintai discipline. If anything it'll make you more like the bloody Old Ones, not less."
"Spike...I'm committed. I have to try it. I've got to stop being afraid of what I can do. I'm just asking you to stay here and help me deal if it is something bad."
Spike threw his hands up in the air. "All right. I can't bloody well stop you...and neither can you, you bloody wanker, so get ready to kick the butt of any big nasty that pops up!" Angel just shook his head and pulled out a sword.
Buffy took a deep, slow breath. She drew in the air...and doubled over as it forced its way out. Bloody streamers poured from her mouth, curling, writhing, as the Slayer screamed in silent agony, screamed as if she would never stop and flickered like static on a dying television screen, from color to shades of grey and back again. Angel made a motion toward her before realizing there was nothing he could do. Spike, already resigned, just watched in grumpy silence.
Long moments passed before Buffy sagged face down on the bed and wiped her mouth on the sheets. "Ok. Ok, you two were right. I am definitively never ever doing that again."
"Doing what again?" said Buffy from the floor. "What did I...you...we do?" She looked up at the Buffy on the bed, then down at herself and immediately wrapped her arms around her chest. "And why the hell am I naked?"
Old Buffy hopped up at once, mortified, and started rummaging through the wardrobe.
"Cause you just got created out of thin air, Slayer!" In spite of himself, Spike grinned. There were possibilities in this. "Look, all your problems are solved. One of you goes with the ponce-if you can think of a reason to-and one of you comes over to little ol' me!" He punched new Buffy playfully in the shoulder.
"Oww! Spike, that hurt!" New Buffy rubbed vigorously at the injured spot. "That hurt," she repeated more slowly. She scrunched up her eyes and concentrated. "No armor." She punched Spike back. "No Slayer strength. What the hell?"
Old Buffy returned and handed her a short dress, then punched Spike in the face, knocking him to the floor. "Well, it didn't just use up my...our powers. So that much is okay. Only...ugh, what the hell do I call you?"
The newcomer frowned at her as she pulled the dress up around her. "I'm still named Buffy." She tried flexing her left arm. "I'm not exactly weak. I've been like this before. The Cruciamentum. But I...have I even got anything left at all?" She ran across the room in what felt like slow motion. "Shit. I think...I think I might be just a copy." Her eyes slowly grew wider. "I'm not the Slayer. I'm not the real Buffy. I'm not really anything."
Angel put a hand on the copy's shoulder. "I swear you're real, Buffy."
"But I don't have any of the powers at all. That means...either there are two of us forever...or it means all she has to do is wish and I'll go pfft!" She rounded on old Buffy. "Why? I mean, I know why...kind of...but...but...why? Why were you so stupid?" She raised her fist and punched the original in the stomach. Old Buffy didn't even grunt. "God, what use even is this?"
Spike ran his fingers through his hair. "Um. Well...You could run the city and let her go out and fight!" The duplicate stared at him angrily. "No, seriously. You could be pretty and go to dances and...and eat whatever you want and be rich. And you'd be a normal girl, finally. Isn't that what you always wanted?"
"It's what she always wanted too," the duplicate pointed out, "and I can't trade. What's she going to do when she gets tired of watching me live her life? And anyway, I wanted that in California with my family, not here!"
The original Buffy had her hands to her temples. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to...I didn't think this was going to happen. I promise. I wouldn't do this to...myself, not on purpose."
"No, I guess not." The double put its hands on the original's shoulders. "I guess I'm sorry too. I'm still you...sort...of. And this is hard for you too."
"Can you do what Spike suggested? I mean, sometimes? Like if I have to go out and fight?"
"I guess that would make me Big Girl on Campus, wouldn't it?" DoppelBuffy sighed. "Sure, I can do it. Something to do, after all."
"Buffy," Angel interrupted. "You should reread this. It says you can 'cut her off ffom your life-breath'-"
"And she'll die, I know!" Buffy snapped. "I'm not doing that."
"But it also says you can 'call her back to yourself'. It sounds like she goes back to being part of you."
"Still sounds kind of like dying," DoppelBuffy muttered, rubbing on Buffy's shoulders as if trying to stay useful.
"Let me see that," Buffy said. Angel handed her the book. "When we put the two Xanders back together we weren't killing either of them. Right?"
"Right. I guess." DoppelBuffy said it reluctantly. "I guess I'm kind of enjoying being me, though. Even if it sucks."
"I promise to let you out again," Buffy mumbled, "if that's what you want." She took another deep breath, and the double dissolved into red streamers again. Buffy breathed them in and collapsed back onto the bed.
"Slayer? You all right over there?"
"No. No, Spike, I'm not okay. You were both right and I was being Stupid McStupid from Stupidville." She lay on the bed on her face. "God, what am I going to do? I can't hold back. I really can't. This world is going to run right over me if I try."
"I don't understand," Angel said quietly. "She was just like you. I don't see how this could change you any less than it did."
"You don't? You're not seeing it, Angel. It makes me more like them than growing horns or tentacles. They're this...hive mind thing. They live...like, seven lives at a time. More, for the Yozis. They're more than one person. And now I am too."
Copycat
The great bulky thing reared up in front of him, and Charles Gunn drove both fists hard into what passed for its head. The thing looked like nothing more than a gigantic maggot, fish-white, squirming, mouthparts clacking together. It was more, he had to remember: like almost everything living in Yu-Shan, the monstrosity he faced was a god.
By his watch-the erratic changes between sun and moon today were throwing him badly off-it'd only been about half an hour since Cordelia'd had a vision that some kind of monster was attacking Anya's employees. Apparently all manner of cannibal gods lurked in the abandoned parts of "heaven"-what a joke that was-and this was one of the nastier sorts.
"Hit it from behind! I've got it occupied up here!" Gunn seized it by the mandibles and wrestled its head down for a moment. Damn, this thing was strong! When they got here, there were already at least a dozen minor deities lying around dead and this thing had devoured their essence for itself.
"What the hell is this thing?" Cordy shouted. She had a sword and was methodically hacking at the creature's tail. "Excuse me-what the heaven is it?"
Tara glanced over from where she was maintaining the barrier that kept the creature from attacking any more employees. "Something that isn't supposed to be here! I read about them. They're called leech gods and they're supposed to have all been banished a long time ago."
"Well, this one sure isn't banished!" He was doing some damage. The thing's biggest weak spot seemed to be its mouth-which was a problem, of course. Gunn wrestled with the thing's jointed mouth tentacles and finally managed to rip one free as the creature howled.
Still, the thing was massively strong. If the creature had been just a little less powerful, he thought he might have been glad to be out from under Angel's and now Anya's shadow. As it was, he really wished-pun definitely not intended-Anya were back from her meeting. She was supposed to be settling into her new convention offices today, though, so who knew when she might return?
Suddenly the thing's writhing tossed him into the air, freeing its head. "Dawn, look out!" He didn't know much about the kid, but he knew what it was like to lose a sister. Dawn spun around and punched the creature in the eye as it lunged at her, and it howled and went for Cordelia instead. Gunn leapt onto its back and tried to wrap his arms around its neck, but the creature was just too damn big. As it threw him off, though, Cordelia lunged forward and stabbed it in the mouth, driving the sword straight into its brain.
"Yes!" The monster collapsed, writhing in agony as it died, leaving Cordy trying to get ahold of her sword to pull it out.
"Excuse me."
"Yeah?" Gunn turned to look at the stereotypical old man in a gi. "If this is about my technique..."
"Oh, no, I can hardly fault your technique, for a mortal. I merely wonder if you have considered training in the supernatural martial arts." The little old man bowed his head very slightly. "In gratitude for my rescue, I-"
"If you want to train me, the answer is yes." Charles Gunn knew he was a badass-you didn't take down a thing like a leech god otherwise-but so far this world had mostly been above his threat level.
"Oh dear me, no. I am Imperious Blossom Instructor. I am the god of aged sifus, but I myself know nothing of the enlightened arts." The man bowed his head again. Before Gunn could get too angry, though, he added, "I can, however, teach you to manipulate your own chi, and put you in touch with a variety of old masters the moment you are ready."
"I'll take it." Gunn smiled grimly. Maybe this place would become survivable after all.
"Hey," Cordelia shouted. "What about me? Can you train me?"
Inperious Blossom Instructor looked her up and down. "Not a bit. You I can send to a sifu right away."
Gunn tried hard not to grind his teeth.
*****
"So the truth is, Megara, I don't think you actually want to be here." Xander put everything he had into it. The last thing he wanted to do was get into another fight.
"Don't think you can stop us, Anathema. You can't hold off my armada forever." There was certainly fire in her voice.
"Ma'am, you have a couple of slightly souped-up merchant vessels. And yes, you have some other Dragonblooded aboard them. Guess what we have too." Xander wondered if letting his anima shine a bit would intimidate her or just make her angry. "What if I told you I'm not even the sort of Anathema you seem to be expecting? I'm not actually from this world at all."
"Pull the other one, Anathema. Not from this world?" Cynis Megara actually giggled at him.
"There are other worlds than these," Xander intoned ominously. "Burning hells where the atmosphere would eat your lungs before you could even catch fire. Empty, dusty worlds with nothing to breathe at all. A great realm of cities inside the body of a living machine god. And...well, my rather boring little homeworld where I'm a construction worker by day and a demon hunter by night. The ladies all tell me how dashing and, ah, swashbuckly I am." Beat. "You're not buying any of this, are you? Too sophisticated. Well, tell ya what. Hables tu Español? Sabe mucho que no puedes ni imaginar."
That got her attention. "There is no such language," Megara said, half to herself. "How can you give me understanding of a speech that does not exist?"
"You know what they say, Cynis Megara. There are more things in heaven and earth than are dreamt of in your philosophy." Xander struck a dramatic pose. "And I know some of them. Wanna find out what?"
He had to restrain himself from snickering when he realized that she had literally gone weak in the knees.
*****
"I'm not doing this any more," Buffy grumbled, storming into the dungeon.
"Well, that's a relief," Iron Siaka said from where she was dangling. "You could let me down from here then."
Buffy looked up at Iron Siaka where she hung tangled in black iron chains, the collar she'd intended to put on Buffy if things had gone extremely well around her own neck. "You'd kill me anyway. Or I'd have to break out more powers to stop you. I'm not going to do that." She sat down in the middle of the floor. "Maybe I should let you. I never wanted this."
"Then you shouldn't have agreed to it," Siaka growled.
"You know what? I didn't, not at first. My first Watcher came up to me and was all, you have a destiny, Buffy, you're the only one who can stop the vampires, the demons, and the forces of darkness. And you know what I told him?" Buffy reached up and shook Siaka's chains. "I told him to fuck off. Because I was a stupid lazy teenage girl who'd rather party till the world ended than stop it from ending!"
If she was looking for sympathy, Iron Siaka didn't have any. When destiny came calling for her, she'd jumped. She held her silence and let the Slayer monologue. Buffy seemed to enjoy doing that, even though this wasn't the usual topic.
"Only you know what? I don't think it would've mattered. I think the Council had it down to a science. If they'd known I'd say yes to that pitch they wouldn't have given it. They'd have gone to some other girl, or else they'd have pulled the other string. 'Hey, creepy dark-skinned subhuman things are making trouble and it's your destiny to wipe them out!' They'd have offered me genocide like a gift in pink wrapping paper and a rose bow, if that was what they thought I'd jump at."
"So you're just a victim, huh?" Siaka spat at her. "With enough power to conquer a city without breathing hard, and your reaction to that is 'poor me, I didn't want to be the bad guy'? Dzhesus, you're pathetic, whatever you are. Go kill yourself if you hate it that much."
"You think you're different?" Buffy locked eyes with her. "Cyan told me about Sidereals. I'm sure she told some lies, but I've learned to read between the lines with her. They probably had you figured out before you were born. I bet you're dancing on their strings right now and you don't even know it. Which side are you? The side who wants to bring back the crazy god-kings and hand the world back to them because you can't fix it yourselves even with more power in your little finger than a nuclear weapon?"
Siaka tried to let it wash over her, but at the accurate assessment of Gold Faction she must've reacted, because Buffy responded, "Oh. So you're the side that killed off the god-kings and didn't have a plan to keep the world from ending twice over without them except 'hand power to a little tin dictator who'll keep the world in a permanent dark age'. Good job. Cute dystopia you're running. And even that's not working any more."
"Damn you! That's not how it is!" Iron Siaka found herself wrenching at the chains, fighting, clawing. Buffy raised an eyebrow, and the collar tightened on her neck. Lacking any better options, Siaka stopped struggling. "We did what we had to do. It wasn't perfect, but it was better than the alternative."
"I'm sure you believe that. You were trained to. Like a dog on a leash that you can't even see. Just like I was." Buffy stalked back and forth like a caged simhata. "So of course the vampires come for me anyway-wonder who let it slip I was the chosen one?-and it's accept my destiny or die. And then I'm in an institution for about five days trying to pretend that I don't believe in the things that nearly killed me. If that even really happened, cause something squirmed into my head later and changed my memories to make room for it. Did I really start bleaching my hair after that, or did it just change color? You'll notice it's been months since I fell into a dimension without quality hair care and my roots still aren't showing." Buffy snarled under her breath and leapt up into the dangling nest of chains, where she perched, looking Siaka in the eyes. Damn, she was pretty. Why couldn't they have met under different circumstances? "I can't trust my memories. I can't trust my powers. I sure as hell can't trust the voice in my head. Yeah, I'm pretty sure I'm losing my marbles."
"Let me out," Iron Siaka urged her. "Let me collar you and take you to Yu-Shan. Yeah, they'll probably execute you. Is that really worse than what's happening?"
Buffy shook her head, but it looked more like she was denying the situation as a whole than refusing to go. "I'm not going to use the new stuff. I spent five years being superstrong and superfast without getting this screwed up. I'm going to stop and focus on that, and maybe at least I won't get any worse."
"You don't really believe that, do you? Buffy, I can feel the Malfean energy radiating from you. You've already gone too far to-"
Rage twisted Buffy's expression. The crossed swords on her forehead flared green, and smoke curled from the corners of her mouth. She roared, "Shut up!" Green flames flickered from her mouth and eyes, wrapping her brow like a tiara.
Siaka tried to answer, but it felt as if her jaws had locked up. Finally she managed to croak out, "Good job with the self-restraint there. I'm impressed." Instead of pressing the advantage, Buffy whimpered and fled the basement.
Well, score one for Siaka. Leaving her...still chained and collared.
Nice job.
*****
Fred sat in her throne again. It was getting easier, and that worried her. Sure, she'd delegated a lot of her power to a democratic council, but the big stuff they still brouught to her. This was big stuff.
Cynis Megara knelt on the floor in front of her. "I have wronged you in calling you Anathema. I can only beg you: teach me what you know about this place. It is amazing! Tell me what to do for you and I shall. I'll work in the bilges-you do have bilges somewhere, right? I'll eat only bread and drink only water. I'll share your bed if you like. I'll-"
"Okay," Fred said hurriedly before the offers got any more graphic and made her blush. "Cynis Megara, you don't have to do any of that stuff. Just swear allegiance to me and the Council of Luthe and I'll make you a citizen. I'll have to keep you under guard for a while, but I'll let you study Luthe. I can't do it all by myself."
"I swear," Megara said. "I swear to obey you and the Council as a loyal subject should and to serve your city faithfully. Only please let me see this place!"
"That was fast," Fred said, shaking her head as Megara's fellow Dragon-Blooded escorted her away. "Xander, what did you do to her?"
Xander spread his hands wide. "I was only trying to do what I did with Ebon Siaka. Don't worry, I'm not going to take advantage." He scrubbed his fingers through his hair. "My bed's full enough as it is. Anya, Nelumbo, Anja, frikkin' Leviathan-heck, he barely leaves room for me!"
Fred stared at him, wondering if Lunar shapeshifting could make her eyes actually pop out like a cartoon's. "You've been sleeping with Leviathan?"
"Only twice," Xander mumbled.
"You know Anya's going to eat you for breakfast next time you see her, right?" Fred couldn't figure out what kind of guy would date a former demoness who took vengeance on unfaithful men and be unfaithful to her.
"I'm going to do what to him exactly?" Fred stared. The Dragon-Blood who'd been standing near the door was a male Fire Aspect with hair that literally seemed to be in flames. Only he wasn't, suddenly.
"Anh, do you really have to sneak up on me like that?"
"Apparently. So who else do you want me to sleep with to balance things out? Or should I just make you impotent? Because I can now, you know." She walked towards him boldly, hands reaching for him.
"You know we never actually got married, right? Which isn't to say I don't want to, just that this is sort of the traditional time for, ah, experimentation." Regardless of who technically had the advantage here-and Fred wasn't sure-Xander was the one backing away.
"Well, yes. You're definitely doing that if you had sex with Leviathan." Anya tilted her head. "You aren't going to do what Willow did, are you?"
"Um...I don't think so. For one thing one of us was a girl each time and..." He halted, seeing the strange expression on her face. "I'm digging myself in deeper, aren't I?"
"You are kinky as heaven, Xander Harris, and-" She broke off to French-kiss him hard. "-I love you very much-and I am going to have to rock your world tonight. Clear?"
"W-why wait?"
"Business before sex." She handed one parchment to him and another to Fred. "You are hereby ordered to appear in Yu-Shan to testify at my audit." She put a third parchment in her pocket. "I haven't managed to get to Buffy yet, but it's starting to look like that might be for the best. Anti-demon prejudice is almost as high here as it is on Earth."
"To Yu-Shan? Isn't that, like...heaven?" Fred couldn't stop herself from bubbling over at the idea.
"Definitely not all it's cracked up to be," Anya said. "It is pretty though, and some of the people are very nice."
"You're sure we're allowed to be there?" Xander looked awfully twitchy.
"Oh, absolutely. As far as most of the gods are concerned anyway. Not so much all of the Sidereals, but trust me, they can't stop you without massive trouble. There've been a few Solars and Lunars there from time to time, but up till now it's always been hush-hush. This is going to kind of upset the applecart a little but it's their own fault for pushing me." Anya gave him a big thumbs-up. "Go Team Scooby, right?"
Fred looked at Xander. Xander looked at Fred. "If you're sure it's safe..."
"Of course. You guys will be fine."
*****
"Stop this, Buffy. You've gone right round the bend!"
"Spike's right, Buffy. This is insane."
"Been there, done that. So so what? I'm crazy. You can't stop me anyway."
"Mistress! Please!" Dharma clung to her arm. "You promised us! All your reforms..."
"I was an idiot to think I could change anything, Dharma. Besides, if you're crying I'm doing what I'm supposed to. Right?"
"Mnemon is going to roll over this place," Marzi hissed. "She will kill us!"
"Doin' my job for me." Buffy kept going. Through the doors. Down the stairs. Through a much bigger set of brass-bound doors. Chains clanked beyond.
Iron Siaka glared down at her. "Brought your pet demons, I see. What're you going to cry about this time?"
"Done crying," Buffy said decisively. "And when I'm done crying, I take action. It's my job. Always has been." She hauled one particular chain free of the wall and lowered the Sidereal to the floor, then unlocked her manacles and finally the collar. "I'm done here. I can't do this anymore. I just can't." She placed the collar around her own neck. "So I'm turning myself in. I'm letting you take me to jail, Iron Siaka. Lock me up, throw away the key."
The Sidereal locked the collar almost reflexively and then...stared blankly at her. "You're serious. You know you'll be executed."
"Maybe Lysol can fix my Exaltation afterwards. I don't care any more. I'm done. I'm just done."
"Lytek," Siaka corrected automatically. "O...kay. I guess I can't complain. Only this could take a while."
"Lots of smugglers in the Sun Market. I bought us a couple of landspeeders. Discount for the Despot." She glanced at Marzi, who was weeping openly. "Swift riders?"
Marzi sniffled, "Yes, mistress."
"So it shouldn't take too long. Right?"
Iron Siaka shrugged. "It's a long way to the nearest gate. Let's go."
*****
Aphrodisia watched them go from the highest window of the palace. "So I guess that's done with?"
Stomach filled with butterflies, DoppelBuffy sat down on the throne. "Yeah. Time for phase two." She sure hoped the real Buffy had lied to Iron Siaka and told her the truth.