Former Archangel
Michael isn't sure how small gestures can make him feel so happy. He's not even sure he has ever been this happy. Once, when it was new, his time with Lily in New York had been intoxicating, stimulating, and quite honestly, hot as fuck. And, for a time, Michael really had thought he'd loved her. If he were honest with himself, he'd fallen so very hard for her, and he really had loved Lilith. Worshipped her even.
It had taken far too long, a set of changed locks, and Lily moving far across the country to Reno for him to realize that she'd never come close to loving him back.
Hindsight was 20/20 and now when he looked back on his time with Lilith, it broke his heart. Just another in the series of places and beings he'd never fit in with. Like the Host or his parents. Just all of it. So, no, at the time he'd been deliriously thrilled. But after the destruction of their relationship (which again, now he knew was a stretch of the), Michael understood the difference between happiness and pathetic self-delusion.
This with Lopez is different.
It's sweet and soft, and it's weird how something as simple as dinner at a decent club or whatever passes for it in Flagstaff feels so much bigger. They came in, and in the spirit of trying to make it special for a first official date, Michael has worn one of the dresses they bought for prowling. Part of that really is to impress Ella like some love-sick human teenager, but it also has its purpose. They both feel like hunting tonight, even if he doesn't need it, and it's so much easier to draw in frat bros and monsters with a bit of honey than just old jeans and tank tops. But this dress isn't horrible. It's not as loose as robes, and Michael feels bad that humans in many areas moved past that choice of style. It was always so comfortable. However, this dress is red and about as flowy, though the skirt shorter than the blue one. This one has sleeves too. Michael isn't quite ready to wear something where he really has to, ahem, strap himself in.
And he is still not sold on whatever a Spanx is.
However, it feels nice.
All these things: nice, happy…hopeful.
They feel both foreign and so small. So human. Michael used to disdain that. It was only what? Maybe four months ago, maybe a bit less, that he regarded his brother Amenadiel with disgust for lying with a human and bringing forth a banally ordinary, mortal child.
His hand holds Lopez's, and his chair sits next to hers at their table. The food here is Italian he thinks. Honestly, he shoveled through whatever mix of pasta and chicken came out, only half aware of what he's ordered. Honestly, he has not taken his eyes off of Lopez any longer than he's had to so far.
She's also in something cute tonight. It's not the maximum effect, not whatever she's saving to impress big rollers and whales when the time comes. In her case, she has a black mini-skirt on, which is just long enough to keep her from being kicked out and is doing nothing for his ability to concentrate at all. Lopez also has a shiny, silvery top that dips low on her back. It appears, she's wearing nothing else on top.
Very worth it.
But mostly, despite how gorgeous his date looks and how tongue tied he is that everything is both out in the open about their feelings and actually-somehow-they're on the same page, Michael isn't thinking lascivious thoughts. Well, sure, he's still a guy, and he feels that too. However, if anything, he's more besotted with her than ready to take her to their motel and do more.
It's just nice and simple and so painfully ordinary. Simplicity. It's something he's never had.
No one could call following around the Mother of Demons like a puppy "ordinary."
Until Ella, he'd have thought such mundane things beneath him. But he could understand so much more now, how both his brothers before him had been changed by the taste of domestic life with a mortal. Although, just for the record, Lopez is far more attractive than the doctor and far less annoying than Chloe. (Probably not as good a shot though, and really, wasn't that just the biggest waste of bullets? Those couldn't be free, right?).
Some small, almost alien voice in the back of his head whispers to him, telling him that he could spend the next fifty years like this, that maybe the Host was wrong and the mundane, daily affairs of humans wasn't a curse or a punishment. Nor pathetic. That it was he and his siblings who had been denied such simple, bonding pleasures for so long.
He shakes that voice away.
They're on literally their first official date, and hoping for a few weeks let alone more is a play-it-by-ear sort of thing. He still has plenty of time to fuck it up. Michael winces internally. Considering he can't bear to admit that his twin Samael and her ex-friend Lucifer are the same being, he knows there's an expiration date.
Even if he can hide that forever, or she never figures it out…Ella is mortal, and it all goes so fast.
But he will think about that any other time, about how fragile humans truly are.
For now, he will hold her hand and watch her finish her tortellini like it's the most interesting thing in the world.
Or he would have, if she hadn't rolled her eyes and set her fork down.
"Okay, dude, you sure you're fine?"
Michael blinks, feeling a little awkward and pulls his right hand from hers. "Sorry, Scraps, I…sorry."
She shakes her head and grabs his hand again. It hasn't yet been twenty-four hours since the motel on the border with California. They're both still due, he hopes, for a pop in from Rae Rae and a way to keep Maze off their scent. However, it's been almost forty-eight hours since his uh hunt-since he's Feared anyone-and the stiffness is gradually returning to his right side. But it touches him deeply that she grabs for his bad hand as readily as she does for his left, that neither side matters much to her.
That she sees him as the same no matter how functional or sore he is at the moment.
"Corazón, no don't be. I just wasn't expecting the Prince of Heaven to be so gooey."
He rolls his eyes, and it's easier to feel that rhythm again. That just comfortable bickering between them. "Haven't been that in eons."
"Did you get replaced?" she asks, and the actual curiosity of the former novitiate and also scientist she was is on Lopez's face.
Michael frowns and considers her question. "Honestly, I don't think I ever technically got replaced. Who knows, but yeah, I get it, far from biblical superhero status."
"Because it's all a game of telephone and humans blissed out on miracles and angel wing sightings pulled stuff out of their butts?" she asks wryly.
He chuckles and takes a swig of water from his glass, using his left hand. Michael doesn't want the contact to end. "No, just more that you were overimpressed and built Dad up more than even He is. It's completely flattering, all the vanity. I just…this is new."
She frowns. "But you were here before."
"Well, feel good, chica, but you are not Lilith. This is so different." He sighs and reflects on it. "Outside of the occasional vigilante kick, this is soft. Sweet."
"She wasn't nice to you?"
"Lily was…" he trails off, not sure if discussing your ex is actually how first date etiquette works. He's pretty sure it's not.
"You can talk about her. I brought it up," she urges. "Also, okay, kind of weird but cool to get insight too on the original 'original woman.'"
He nods, and there is that slight vertigo that sometimes to her, Michael's just a guy. Now, though, he knows Lopez is remembering all of what he is and is curious in the way a groupie might be meeting a singer or an actor. It's a weird, delicate balance. For the most part, he knows Ella sees him as he is. But sometimes…sometimes it hurts him a bit to see her fall for the awe and pomp of the type of angel he never actually was.
He was never enough, certainly not the Defender of the Church and Prince of Heaven the way Lopez had to have imagined him.
"Yes, well, she was like you in a few ways: beautiful of course."
Lopez chuckles and kisses his cheek. "Yeah, you have this boyfriend thing down already. Flattery will probably get you everywhere."
"And she was vivacious in her way, although her enthusiasm came from the concerts she gave and her performing life…" he trails off and knows his cheeks are flushed. "Honestly also from the things she'd try behind closed doors and that's all I can say on that."
Because it would just make Lopez wonder, and he didn't want her to feel like she had to compare to all the carnal samplings Lilith had come up with. He doesn't even want something like that now. He wants actual intimacy and not a cadre of positions and invited guests for orgies. He just wants her, and he hopes he can show Lopez she's more than enough.
Not like he's been Casanova for the last sixty years almost. See what kind of attention squatting in a zoo gets you. Oh, who in Dad's name is he kidding? Michael was never anything but the dupe.
Lopez's eyes go huge at his implications. "Oh!"
"But she wasn't…she was as cutting and cold as you are kind and warm. She always took her chances to make people around her feel lesser, unneeded. You…" he looks back at her and now he knows of all his brothers that he must be the dopiest in this moment. He just can't quite help being a sop, being so open about how amazing he thinks Ella is. "…you're good to everyone."
She laughs. "Not everyone. Not Pete."
"He's a rat," Michael insists. "Let me put it this way, Lily would have seen me in the El Dorado and been glad to step on past me. Thrilled that an attractive, I guess-"
"Oh, I know," Lopez supplies, leaning against his bad side a bit.
He sighs again. "Sure, but Lily would have seen my wounds and been glad someone who might have been competition was literally hobbled. She would not have come up to an injured stranger and tried to find 'her,'" he says, making air quotes with his good hand. "…shelter from an abusive family. She was above such things."
"She sounds like I can see how she became the Mother of Demons." And Lopez wrinkles up her nose in disgust.
"Well, as paradoxical as it sounds, we're all young once. I wasn't chronologically but the first…falling for someone for the first time was new for me. Not like most of us have options. All angels are related, the entire Host only come from Mom and Dad."
"Oh! I guess I did wonder about that, wasn't sure if it was literally you and thousands of brothers and sisters or something else."
"It was, and some of us find other pantheons or beings like us. I suspect Samael and the First Born aren't the only ones to have frolicked with regular humans over the centuries either."
"But she was like your first crush?"
"First everything, and I…maybe even now I don't get people being nice to each other. Certainly never saw it come to me from angel or mortal."
"People are dumb sometimes. I…you're really not that scary."
He nods sadly. "I'm not scary to you. I think even now because of the form, sort of, that I'm not as scary to most even with my powers. At least scary than I used to be. Less hulking, less imposing. Also drunk pricks don't have much common sense when they're horny." He smirks at her. "Even that I know firsthand from experience."
"Hulking huh?"
"I was taller, broader."
"Like WWE level? Ooh, did you look like the Rock?"
He frowns. He's seen movies and he watched cable while at Sam's to kill time. But that one missed him. "Like a boulder?"
"Like Dwayne Johnson or I dunno more swimmer's build? Help me out here."
Finally, he lets his hand drop, and she blinks at him. Michael hopes he's imaging the hurt in her expression. "I don't think it matters that much, but overall, no, I didn't look steroided out. I was just physically imposing."
"So, your dad only makes the girl angels small?"
"He only made Remiel and Azrael and some others short. My sister Sara is pretty close to how I am now," he admits. "We have a lot of variety."
Lopez nods enthusiastically at that. "I like that about you guys. I…when I was in school and in high school, it was a total penguin fest."
"Huh?"
"Catholic school, all nuns and stuff." She rolls her eyes. "Pues, all the nuns and teachers, most of the books we had for theology classes…everyone was super the same? The pics of Jesus even…not exactly looking like your average Middle Eastern rabbi, so much more like Obi-Wan Kenobi or something! But I like that…I dunno, it just felt that all the paintings of angels never looked like me."
Michael nods. "Yeah, that's confusing. It's more about I guess your powers or your position, whether you're an archangel or a cherub or seraphim. We're petty and we jockey for position with each other and, ha, Dad's love."
Michael takes a big swig and wishes it was alcohol. What a joke Dad's love was as a concept. Might as well ask for a unicorn, about as good odds of getting any now post the Flood.
"But we all look mostly different from each other. I mean, to be fair, Dad was perfecting all the types and races of humans, so he was going to make us first. That test run. So, why wouldn't there be angels who look like you?" He blanches. "Though for the record none look exactly like you cause that would be weird."
"Um, duh. I just…yeah, no one ever told me or thought it'd be so broad."
"Yeah, not shocked. Humans like to read a lot into Dad. Honestly, so do we. Him and His secrets. But I…any of you is as welcome up there as any of us."
He doesn't finish the rest of that sentence, that the Silver City is really a harsh place where hierarchies are probably tougher than Earth. Humans have their own section and are protected there as Father decreed, as the good souls have earned. But it's not like there's human-Celestial social hour. But since they all feel like Father isn't quite giving them enough attention, at least as far as the Host go, then it's not an inaccurate statement.
Come on in, the water is fine to feel like Dad is disappointed in you.
She brightens at that, not quite realizing the true joke of the Silver City is it often feels no one is welcome there at all. "Cool, well, it's neat I guess. I just sometimes…I admit I wonder who you were."
He tries not to let that big-eyed gaze of hers stare right through him, but even Michael shifts a bit under her watch. "I don't think it matters now." He gestures to himself and rolls his eyes at his chest the hardest. "This feels like a blip to me, like this weird thing that happened in the rest of endless eons. A loaner body. And that's…jarring if I think too hard about it at all."
Like in the shower that first night or so and his desperate need to come to just make it stop. Or, frankly, how while he's used to the warmth in his belly by now and even less upset when his clit throbs when he's desperate for Ella, like now, nothing about this body feels real. On good days, he can ignore the cognitive dissonance. On the bad ones, he just kind of shuts down.
"Yeah so you were-"
"Before though isn't gonna happen. I mean, Dad could be mad at me for thousands of years or literally forever. I think like I did before, I assume I do." Though sometimes he feels he's less vicious this way, less ready to strike first and drive people off. Then again, it could be the company. "But my body…I'm not getting it back unless Dad says so. I know how He works." Michael sighs. "And trust me, if Samael's any indication, Dad can usually hold a grudge for billions of years."
Or at least in Hell time.
Ella's eyes get wide and sad, and he never meant for that to happen. Not on their fucking first date. "I'm sorry you…I wish I could help."
"You do, but the angel I was and the whatever the fuck I am now are, as hard as it is to admit it, not the same person. Dad definitely won't forgive me in forty or fifty years since that's just a blink-"
She stiffens at that, at the reminder the rest of her life is nothing on the cosmic scale. "I know."
He softens his expression a little and kisses her, lingering for a while, enjoying her skill and the way her tongue traces his own. When he pulls back, he reaches out with his left hand to stroke her hair. "Lopez, to Him that's no time at all. In a way, to an angel it usually isn't either. But this is…it's us. The time spent with someone we care about, it leaves an impression. Everything with Lily was a clusterfuck at the end, but those years somehow seemed so long, so much happened in them. I mean, fuck, we've been on the road a couple weeks, and it's been one of the best parts of my life."
She smiles at that. "Really?"
"Of course. Trust me, if I didn't like you, I'd have ditched you."
"Gee, what a gentleman."
"I try," he adds, chuckling. "But I mean it."
"Is that cause you like me so much or because your family sucks?"
Her words could be considered harsh, but there's worry in her eyes and, yes, some pity. Lopez has a huge heart. She thinks she doesn't or has drunk way too much of Pete's koolaid, whichever, but she's the nicest human he's ever met. Not saying a ton there since often humans can still be utter dicks, but she is so very good, gives him hope for the rest. And with that comes this caring so deep that he can already tell she feels it's somehow her fault or her responsibility to make up for his shitty siblings.
For his shitty parents.
Hell maybe even for his whole shitty life.
"I lo…like you very much, Lopez. I…it's like you said. Hey, Azrael likes me, so I must be doing okay family wise."
"One out of thousands and-"
Michael sighs and offers her a truth that he has spent so very long denying. "When we were young, but you know, not actually kids…"
Lopez gives a dreamy sigh at that. "Too bad in a way, I bet you'd have been a cute kid. I mean, I don't know what you'd have looked like," Lopez adds pointedly. "But I can still see you like with brown eyes so big they take up half of your face and not a third…and hair still tangled cause you and brushes, Mike, so not on a first name basis."
"My eyes aren't huge."
"Yuh-huh, you're like a Disney princess."
Michael blinks at her and tries to remember how to speak. "I…I am what?"
"You know? Those huge eyes? That long dark hair? Total Disney look."
"So, you're saying I'm Snow White?"
She blinks at him back. "So, you've seen some?"
"Well, a few. They'd rerelease the classics every so often at the local theater, and I'd have to kill time somehow when Lily was at rehearsals." Michael pulls away and gives a laugh so hard, he's almost doubled over by the end. When he finally gets a hold of himself and of such a ridiculous image, he is wiping tears from his eyes. "Yeah, my broken-down ass as Snow White, get real."
"You really don't get-" she stops and shrugs. "Never mind, Blancanieves, so you were telling me about your youngest days."
He nods and looks down at his hands, ones that he might never really recognize, well, except for the way his right gets so listless. Thanks for that, Dad. "Samael and I were like actual family once. When it was the two of us at the edge of literal Creation fashioning the stars, we felt like two beings against everything else. I know he cared then. I know I did. It was getting back and our siblings…" he shakes his head. "When your brother is literally the lightbringer, it's impossible to be anything but the also-ran."
"Rae Rae doesn't think so."
"She's young comparatively, came later. My first formative experiences with the rest of the archangels…controlling my powers is still hard even before Dad took my wings. I don't think most of them ever really forgave me for scaring them or reading enough to know all about them." He gives a bitter laugh. "Not that we all, deep down, don't basically have the same fucking fear. All of us, every angel I ever read, we all wanted Dad and Mom to love us…to be proud of us."
She's hugging him then, and he lets her. Pity is…it's all hard, but she's here, and for eons, he's had no one to sooth his wounds or his soul. Whatever is left of it. "Your parents were the worst, and I am sorry about that."
"Yeah, but Sam could flatter everyone and could make them happy. I couldn't, and it just made me angry, bitter, and jealous. I started picking at him first but whatever understanding we'd had literally making the universe together-"
"And unicorns?"
Michael rolls his eyes at her interruption. "Yes, and unicorns even, Scrappy…but our relationship as brothers just died."
That was the least one could say of it. It had turned ugly and brutal, in part had led Sam to push hard enough to be Expelled and burned and then ruined Michael's side in a war. Rendered them both monstrous in very different ways.
"I am sorry."
He nods and doesn't breathe heavier, not truly. But he does lean in and kiss her again, something soft and sad and needy. "You didn't do it. Lopez, if anything, you make it so much better. I mean, we all have shit families, mine just did it at a Biblical level."
"Yeah but-"
"If you want to make it up to me. Dinner's done, the music's about to go up, and we should cut a rug."
She laughs again, and this time the joy on her face is genuine. Good. He loves that so much more than the pity and concern. "God, sure, abuelo. Your expressions are all over the place, dude."
"I pick what I like from my visits. Now, let's have fun. We've earned it."
Ella has finished with her asshole of the night. It wasn't hard at all to draw a coupleS out to an alley at closing time. Honestly, it was cathartic and that, for the first time, had fuck all to do with Pete. Ella had not had many relationships in her life. Her mix of married to her job, trying to hide her locuras, and how hard she found it to really like someone meant that, honestly, Pete had been one of her few even kind of long-term relationships at all. She was a grayscale type person, but she did do hook ups if she had an itch. She had usually when stress at college was the worst or that year she lost her faith and partied too hard. And Ella had fallen for both men and women. True, she leaned more toward bad boys, but she still had had her share of sapphic trysts. But it had been like everything else that awful year after Charlotte's death, she'd been very drunk or very high, and it had only lasted for the night.
But she'd never really gone out with a (to what the casual observer assumed was) girlfriend before. It was different because occasionally asshole bros came over to interrupt their dancing and ask if they wanted to "broaden their horizons" or say how "you two have to be waiting for a man to fill that sandwich."
It was beyond annoying.
These two brain trusts came by last call, and Michael had let her know quietly and in short order that these were their guys, the types who had more than one poor abused woman on their record. So, even though the two dicks' opening line of "We bet we can turn you both straight" had been something normally she'd just punch out of someone and ask questions never about, Ella had followed Michael's lead and been coquettish instead.
They'd flirted and had a few drinks. She'd only made it look like she'd been sipping, but Michael had drained a few of the drinks, which had been drugged, since that didn't affect him at all.
As last call approached, they'd both faked being dog tired and slurring a bit, and let their marks lead them to the alley. And, naturally, turned the tables.
Ella hadn't felt like playing around tonight or in getting to caught up in the fight. What she'd almost done and badly wanted to do to Pete was still on her mind. She didn't want to risk breaking too many ribs again. There was keeping douchebags and pendejos from hurting other women and people, and then there was enjoying the vengeance too much. Ella was trying to be the former.
Even if she was finding it more fun to crunch bone with her brass knuckles than she'd ever admit to herself, let alone to Michael.
However, a few quick jabs to the throat and a huge strike against his huevos, and the guy was moaning and half out of it at her feet. Mission accomplished. But as she turned to the other end of the alley, Ella found in its way, being done first had its perks.
Watching Michael work takes her breath away. It always does. At first in fear, then in awe, and now…to watch him is beautiful. Entrancing.
The tall ass with the popped collar shirt Michael chose is standing wrong, leaning hard against the wall. His right knee is twisted at an off angle, and Ella assumes the Angel of Fear has snapped the patella pretty hard. Now, Mike isn't even touching him, and she knows he doesn't have to. That honestly, the worst times come when Michael isn't laying a finger on you. Because the physical you can recover from a million times more easily than fear and trauma.
She is still reeling from her exorcism apparently, even after she has spent forever trying to bury it. Thought she had.
But as she watches, Michael stands tall-fully to his current height and shoulders straight. His eyes glow with the bright gold light of his Celestial power, and when he finally speaks, the walls of the alley seem to shake just a little. Seeing the full power of him, the unleashed ferocity of an avenging angel, is rapturous. Beautiful. Tan hermosa. And even with all the languages, real and sci-fi, she speaks, Ella truly lacks a way to describe how awesome and heartbreakingly beautiful he is now before her.
"You're right," Michael says, his voice echoing and enchantingly multitonal. "Everything you feel is right, all that you fear is true. Now, reflect on that for a week, feel all of it." He steps back but lands on more strike, a second kick to the knee that leaves the frat prep screaming and crumpled on the ground. "And if you ever touch a woman like you were planning to do to me, ever, I will know, and I'll make your fears permanent."
"Hey, Michael? You done?" she asks, pulling his attention from vengeance to now. To their shared reality and a need to put distance between them and the technical crime scene.
Michael's eyes go back to brown, and he offers her a hopeful grin. It is, oddly, a bit like looking into the eyes of an overly excited but loyal puppy, and somehow and for some reason, Ella has the oddest feeling of vertigo. It snaps her back to the weirdly eager but also sincere expression Lucifer gives her when she knows she's talking way too much on forensics and science, but the wannabe actor swears he likes it anyway. Ella frowns and shakes the feeling of déjà vu away. Seeing Maze and Eve has left her off kilter, and yet, there is something so familiar in those eyes that she can't quite shake all of it away.
Michael strides across the alley way like a damn runway model, and at his height, he could do that if he wanted. He'll be good for a few days like this, after a hunt, just like he was after Pete, and he cuts quite a figure coming to her.
"You did yours in record time, Scraps. Good on you," he says, proudly, even if she knows he'll have more training for her as they travel. He smiles broadly, draws her into him, and kisses her deeply. He only breaks the embrace when there's a squeak next to them.
"Um, okay, eww!"
Ella rolls her eyes at Rae Rae's arrival. She lets her arms stay wrapped around Michael's neck and frowns at her friend. "Can we get like a bell for you?"
"Lopez! I'm the one helping you out here, and I mean, I did not expect my best friend to be kissing my brother when I popped in!"
Michael smirks and kisses her again. "Well, you know, it's a real carpe diem kind of night."
Rae Rae nods, and Ella tries to keep herself calm. But, oddly, seeing Rae Rae-no Azrael-again is setting her more on edge than she's been almost ever with the Angel of Fear. And she can taste the incense of the senser in her mouth again. She holds Michael tighter, and the angel wraps his arm around her tighter, trying to calm her.
"Right, it's almost as bad as if you were just making out with Sara or something! You're my best friend, Ella, and that's my brother and eww." Rae Rae adjusts her glasses on her nose. "But you both look really happy so that's good. Just you know…tmi."
Michael narrows his eyes, and they flash gold briefly. "Sis, we get it. However, you're the one who didn't do the Celestial equivalent of knocking." He pulls his lips back into a feral smile. "I'll put a bell on you yet."
Rae Rae giggles so hard that she snorts. And it's so…normal. The Angel of Death and Angel of Fear really are siblings, and they act so much like her with Jay that it's a little surreal. It's even weird to think her childhood friend, the so-called ghost, and her…her person Michael are related. It's more like she never thought everything she tried to bury in Detroit and everything she's found since leaving Los Angeles have collided so hard.
"You wanted the stuff to make it harder for demons to track you-"
Ella looks up at Michael, and her heart is hammering. "Wait, what demons?"
Rae Rae shoots a panicked glance to Michael. "I mean, usually demons are not a problem, but you're going across the country and you never know what other totally bonkers stuff is out there!"
Michael nods, and he's a nodding almost as hard as if he were one of Dan's idiot bobbleheads. "All precautions matter, and I want to get to Atlantic City in one piece. I dunno with using my powers…those I have left so openly, it's been attracting more attention than I like. Human low lives? No problem. Extra precautions are a good investment, you know?"
Ella is still breathing hard, and her exorcism for demons she didn't even has is on her mind so much. "Demons follow you?"
Michael sighs. "One has threatened to since I left Vegas, yes."
Rae Rae nods about as hard as he had as a chorus. "Yup, so I pulled a lot of strings with Death-the one, not the angel of-and she called in a favor from Delirium, and you know getting a straight answer from any Endless is hard, but getting something even more coherent and quick from Delirium? Total miracle," she chirps as she reaches into her robes and pulls out a thick mason jar. Inside are gnarled, dark brown roots that looks like twisted cinnamon. Ella is sure they are anything but. "And, voila!"
Michael takes it and frowns. "Kind of thought it would be a spell, Squirt."
"It could be if you give me time to work a better thing. This is kind of simple, but it's instant, and there's enough to supply you for a few weeks. Besides, I can get you more. It's a tanis root thing, and if you bite off a piece each and chew it once a day, not demon tracking. But Death was very adamant that it had to be twenty-four hours. If you go later, wears off, and that uh demon thing, they can track again."
Michael opens the jar and takes one of the roots out. Definitely doesn't smell like cinnamon, but it has a more bitter bite to it like anis. "No time like the present," he replies. He tears off a chunk and shoves it in his mouth. "And oh, ugh, that's…well I've had worse I guess."
Ella narrows her eyes at him. "Define worse? You snuck bagels they just threw away after the end of breakfast at the first hotel we were at in Vegas. You've had trash bagels."
"First, free bagels. Second, five second rule. You humans have that right?"
Rae Rae's eyes get big behind her glasses, probably in recognition. "Totally. I saw Lopez say that once about this huge slice of pizza she dropped face down on the carpet."
Ella is still trying to catch up over the whole "a demon is trying to stalk Michael" thing. Then again, memories of one of her least proud moments in eighth grade come roaring back. "Okay, that did not work at all. Abuelita had shag carpet and how bad was the taste, Mike?"
"It's doable."
"Michael!"
He rolls his eyes, and no fair that everything he does makes her love him a bit more…even that. "It's like mothballs and paprika had a very nasty baby, but it is over fast."
"Ugh, and how do you know what mothballs taste like?"
Michael smirks. "I had a long, long life before you."
Rae Rae laughs. "This one time, in Prague after the first World War, Gabriel made Michael eat a handful of mothballs. We were on this assignment against some Haxan witch cult and…uh…actually never mind."
Ella shoots a glance between them both and for the millionth time, she reminds herself not to blurt out "I'm sorry." Every new fact about Michael's life makes her heart ache. Then again, she gets sibling pranks, but she has a sinking feeling that's one of the least harsh tricks, Gabriel pulled on Mike.
And that's being super generous with the term "trick."
Still, she is trying to not feel all that misplaced guilt. Mostly, cause it freaks Michael out, and it's not like she'll ever get a chance to yell at the Big Guy over all the bullshit anyway. Biting her lower lip, she reaches out and takes the stick from Michael's hand. She breathes in hard, and bites into it. Then, almost spits it out.
It is gross, and if she didn't fear demons more than that weird grandma's clothes/mothball taste on her tongue, she'd have spit it out. Ella chews and swallows it eventually. She's grateful when Michael hands her a bottle of water. He's inhumanly fast, and she's getting used to him just appearing wherever and whenever he pleases.
Greedily, she guzzles it all, getting the taste off her tongue. When Ella is done, she's gasping.
"Ugh, every twenty-four hours?"
Rae Rae frowns. "Dee says there's a better way. That is a small ritual but she needs the translation for it. But for a few weeks, while we both get that, you can just uh eat that tanis root."
"How big is this demon?" Ella asks, seriously considering her options.
"It's not the size of the demon, more like the fight in them. This one? Can be a real determined pain in my ass, Scrappy." Michael takes the jar and shoves it in that massive Mary Poppins purse she can't quite break him of carrying, and she's sure it's joining a ton of dinner rolls from this evening already shoved in there.
Beautiful, intimidating, and protective…but at the same time, man what a codo.
Cheapest being she's ever met.
She chuckles to herself and relaxes a bit. The demon stuff is scary, but she also at the same time pities any demon dumb enough to mess with the Angel of Fear. Whatever is tracking them should quit while they're ahead…or talk to Pete, make sure it's worth it.
Cause, huge ass news flash, it's not.
"What, Scrappy Doo? You find me amusing?"
"Most days," she replies. "But hey, Michael, we have some notes to trade on the demon following us when we get back home." She blushes a bit. "Um the motel, I…"
Michael's expression softens, and he kisses her. "Hotel, found a nicer place tonight so upgrade, chica."
Rae Rae looks to Ella, and she's wide-eyed. "Maybe you are a witch or something."
"It would be a bruja, and nope. No powers I know of."
Rae Rae looks at her brother. "You got him to want to pay for something. That's…nuts."
Michael huffs. "I'm not that bad."
"Dude, you were squatting in a zoo in L.A., right? I mean, you could have gotten a hotel if you'd wanted and-"
Michael pinches the bridge of his nose. "No, just…I'll be getting Baby from the parking garage. Lopez, you give Rae Rae a goodbye." The angel is playing it all casual, but he licks his lips just a bit as he looks over at her top. "I won't take too long."
He punctuates his point with a kiss on her cheek and heading off.
Rae Rae grabs her hands and starts talking lightning fast. "Ella, oh my wow. This is…I think you might have like body snatched my brother." She thinks better of that and frowns a bit. "Um, you know what I mean. He's never been like that. All paying for stuff and not shitty stuff and then being all sweet. It's weird but sweet, and you two are so cute!"
Ella nods and hugs Rae Rae. "It's new and…this is so strange but good. And he's…it's really good." She pulls away and quirks her head at the Angel of Death. "We're good, but I had a rough night otherwise yesterday."
"Why?"
"Well, I was pretty drunk coming from L.A., not gonna lie. And we paid Pete a visit."
Rae Rae nods and Ella's heart stops. "I know."
"He didn't…"
"No, but it was the talk of heaven. Half the Host heard about it and a few even watched. It was all anyone talked about. Gabriel was shocked Michael had it in him now, and then I told him to shut the hell up. Remi was disappointed the old General had gotten into what she thinks of as 'petty mortal squabbles.'" Rae Rae flailed her arms a bit as she made air quotes. "But angels…sorry, my brothers and sisters can be idiots sometimes. Pete's still in the acute care ward, but he's gonna make it." Rae Rae sets a hand on Ella's shoulder. "I'm glad Mike…I'm glad he helped you. I'm glad you can try and be less scared now of Pete. You weren't sleeping a lot-"
Ella pulls back, trying to ignore the way her eyes water. "Do you watch me? Like check in on me all invisible or from a perch in heaven?"
Rae Rae takes off her glasses-and why does she keep pretending to have them anyway-and rubs them on her robes. "I…no. Sometimes if I'm between ferrying souls, I will go full invis and check to see if you're okay. I noticed since it all happened, you'd be up at weird times at like four a.m. or past two or something. I was…I was so worried."
Ella nods and swipes at her eyes; it's too late. She's already crying. "I will always be grateful you saved me then and that you were nice to me in the car accident when I was eight. It was scary, so so much, but I need a break."
"Huh? But we're friends and now you know and it's all okay. You even are like…it's like you're my sister or even closer now cause of you dating Michael."
Despite everything, her heart warms up at that turn of phrase. Dating seems a weird, small word for all of this. After all, Michael's almost as old as the universe and most of the time they hit the open road and beat the shit out of those who earned it, but it's what they're doing. After all her bullshit and their back and forth, this is something. And dating might not really make sense to apply to an Archangel, but it's true and it feels so pregnant with possibilities.
And yet…
"But I need some time. I have to really deal with 'ghost rules' and you lying to me. You made me think I was seeing visions or dead people…well, one person." She almost breaks down crying, but keeps herself from sobbing and never stopping, even if her cheeks are still wet with tears. "Rae Rae, my parents had me exorcised when I was fifteen. It took weeks before the priests stopped….I just…I'm thinking about it more now, cause how Pete restrained me brought back the priests doing it too. I'm sick of feeling controlled, and I…I do care about you. And you have saved me in a huge way, but I can't…it hurts."
Rae Rae looks to her feet. "I know about that. I would have come to save you, somehow. I swear, but I had business in purgatory, and I couldn't…time was moving differently there and by the time I got out and knew…it was a done deal. "Ella, I didn't want that to happen at all."
"But it did because you broke apparently the angel rules," she can't help the bitterness in her voice at that. "and then you ruined you lied. Eres una mentirosa, y me hiciste todo el daño en el mundo. You hurt me every way you could have. You didn't mean it, but you lied and it ruined my life, Rae Rae. For a long time, it ruined everything. Maybe we can be friends again one day, maybe we can't, but when you pop in to see Mike, and I know you will, you have to…you have to leave me out of it."
Rae Rae shakes her head. "But we're friends."
"Friends don't lie to each other, Azrael," she says, putting all the emphasis on the angel's real name. "Friends don't invent a million rules and run arounds to hide themselves. I…they tied me down for weeks and threw holy water on me. They screamed at me and…and my wrists were raw from the ropes."
"Ella…El, I didn't mean to. I just wanted…you were so nice, and it was nice to be around you and be your friend." Rae Rae sighs. "You get it now. The Silver City wasn't very nice at all, still isn't. It was worse after Lu got tossed, but it is so bad now with Mike gone too. I just…I didn't mean for it to happen."
"But it did!" Ella shouts. "My family started treating me like a freak; they still do. I just…I need time, Rae Rae, and if you were ever my friend, you'd respect that."
"I do, but I'm not a bad angel."
"No, but you made such a mistake, such a huge one."
"Ella-" she steps forward to put a hand on Ella's shoulder, and Ella is so grateful when Baby pulls up, even if Michael is grinding the damn clutch again.
"I can't. You don't get even now how much I lost, you just don't."
She hurries to the car and pulls open the door. When she looks over her shoulder, Ella spies Rae Rae crying too. The angel's wings have spread behind her and seem to droop. Rae Rae must be doing that thing she used to do, to go invisible, like when she'd hang out near the table at dinner. They'd make funny faces at each other, see how long they could get away with it before abuelita or mamí yelled at Ella to behave. She'd been ten before the game stopped, but Ella had loved it once.
Ella doesn't know if she can ever forgive Rae Rae for all her ghost rules and interventions have cost her, but she wants to try some day. She just can't promise things. Instead, she rubs her nose and sniffles again. "I…smell you later, Rae Rae."
She slides into Baby's passenger seat, grabs his hand in hers, and asks him to drive. Setting her head against the cool glass of the window. "It was nice of her to help."
"You don't look like you mean it."
She sniffles as they drive down the winding roads of Flagstaff to the business district and the hotels. "She just…ghost rules hurt so much, they really did. Maybe I'll never move past the exorcism thing or how my family sees me. Maybe I will…"
Ella trails off and watches the neon of the overhead lamps splay over the car's windshield for a while, gathering her thoughts. Sometimes-rarely but still-even sometimes, she loses her words too.
"Chica…you'll get better."
"Cause you're such an optimist, Mike."
"Of course not. But I know you, and I see how you try. You'll get there."
"Right."
"Damn straight."
"There is something so weird about an angel cursing."
"Fuck yeah," he says, winking at her. "But you don't have to forgive her if you never can. I get it. I couldn't ever reconcile with Sam, no way."
"Good, but I want to…I just….I want things to be easier." She groans. "Minus demons and powers acting weird. Oh, and side trips to Atlanta to see wizards."
"He's more of a warlock."
She snorts. "Right, my bad. A warlock." Ella turns and studies Michael seriously. "We're safe right? This demon problem…it's not gonna catch us."
"It's interested in me," he says, his eyes going gold. "And I will fix it. You think they'd wanna mess with me, wings or no?"
"Nah, but…" she sighs again. "Just, always level with me, okay? If the demon is getting closer or one of your siblings just shows up or God Himself-"
"Oh Dad has very much dismissed me."
"Oh."
"Yeah," he replies, squeezing her hand. "But I'll shoot straight on demons and angels and Dad. If some weird werewolf shows up-"
"Are those real?"
"Well better odds they exist than vamps cause you know-"
'Yeah, dead stays dead, gotcha."
"And she can be taught."
The hit a stop light and Michael turns to her, kissing her gently. "Lopez, I promise, you're safe with me."
"I feel that too. I…just no more mentiras, Mike."
The light changes and he fumbles a bit to get out of park. Car horns honk behind them, and Michael curses like a sailor. So so not like how the bible told it. Then again, nothing is like the good book at all. Or mass for that matter.
"Doing my best, Scraps. I really, really am."