These people were fools.

These people were utter fools.

Light Shining In Nether Regions could sense uncontrolled motic flare-ups here and there-in the power grid, in the feeble displays of a handful of weak sorcerors, in the powers of various spirits-but nowhere was there any serious attempt at the regulation of essential force. Geomancy was evidently nonexistent, even in the heart of a major city.

What passed for astrology was a trivia page in the backs of obsolete newspapers about events in the lives of mortal leaders who should have been nonentities.

Demons and elementals and gods and even raksha flitted about just beneath the notice of stupid mortals, and the few who so much as noticed couldn't tell one from the-

What was that infernal sticky dampness in his undergarments?

plug it up plug it up

-if I'm so stupid how come you don't know thing one about women, Jesse-

plug it up

Had the damnable little bint not found a way around that yet? Light Shining rummaged through her handbag. Ah, yes...a sac of "pads". Now where to apply them?

the ladies' room dumbass

Yes but where do I find-? No. Do not acknowledge it. Let it disintegrate under the weight of his inattention. Where did he find a "ladies' room"?

Light Shining scanned the various stores and entered one at random. It seemed to be a grocers'. "Tell me where the 'ladies' room' is," he ordered a mortal in quasi-uniform.

"That's not open to the public here," "Debra" said. "You can try next-"

"Admit me to the 'ladies' room'," he said more forcefully.

The mortal Debra gave him an annoyed look but led him into an office. "Here. I hope you realize I'm not-"

"Be silent," he ordered, and the mortal was silent. He entered the toilet facility.

These people were utter, absolute fools!

Chapter 54-Living Dead Girl

"For a time," Five Days' Darkness said, "Light Shining may have to force his way through this world on sheer power. He will understand the functions-though not the inner workings, probably-of its technology, but not the culture, any more than you would understand the culture of Mad Max's timeframe. But he is infinitely subtle and even Harmony's limited powers will give him a distinct advantage over mortals."

"And he can just..." Faith snapped her fingers. "...take over just like that, and Harmony is gone?" She'd gone pale. Of course, that appalling fate was just as applicable to her, from what she knew. Perhaps to any of them.

Time to soften the blow. "In my experience, past life takeovers are uncommon and limited in duration. But Light Shining is especially bright and powerful and Harmony especially dull and weak. He will work to break her mind to the point that she cannot meaningfully resume control. Even if he somehow fails to do so in the hours he has available, he will simply maneuver her into a situation she cannot manage without his help and he will immediately seize her again. She is a kitten against a dire wolf in this situation." He might even be telling the truth, though he had never actually heard of an incident of that nature. It wasn't as if he knew much about the Abyssals who had been in similar predicaments.

Faith narrowed her eyes. "But she's not actually dead yet."

"She probably is. She certainly will be before we can catch up to him. You are failing to understand the magnitude of the difference between them."

Now it was Amy's turn to grow suspicious. "My mother had power like you wouldn't believe but she didn't risk just mind-controlling me."

"Your mother was no doubt powerful for a mortal sorceress, Amy, perhaps even a god-blood of some sort, but she was never an Exalt." More stable footing now. "You are comparing a pony to a Shire horse and forgetting the great diesel tractor that overshadows both."

"Either way," Buffybot said pragmatically, "we have to catch up to them, right? We'll figure out how to save Harmony when we do."

That was a useful but potentially dangerous line of thought. Kate spoke up before he could open his mouth. "You know, last time Five said she was already dead Harm saved herself before we caught up. Not that we shouldn't go-a necromancer could make a lot of trouble first-but I'm starting to think he just underestimates people."

Five shrugged. "Think what you like, but go." This had the dangerous potential to get out of hand-but then, so did Lilah Morgan.

Samantha Finn dropped like a stone.

Only for a few moments, though. She felt her wrists gripped from above and yanked upward before she was sent dizzily careening up and back. This was their descent, which so far was not going quite as well as planned. She could see energy flares streaking and spotting the sky, and she doubted it could be mistaken for a storm even from the ground.

They hadn't been able to procure enough parachutes in time, and none of them were yet able to fly, so they were descending in a dazzling display of aerobatics, jolting and jumping off one another as the company fell in slowed-down motion. The lowest members were pivoting off the trees below already.

"Be ready for anything!" she hollered into her headset as her second-in-command, Marie, caught her by the ankles and flipped her down through the branches. "We don't know her capabilities in any detail!" she added as she grabbed a thick limb and pivoted. Finally her feet struck the ground with a bone-jarring, but not -breaking, thump, and she rolled, finishing, "She's more likely to apply misdirection than force, but be on your guard for both!"

Sam stood and began helping catch the remaining members of the unit. With everyone on the ground at last, Marie reported, "Convoy headed toward us from behind. Get to intercept positions!"

Sam wondered about Marie as the company dashed toward the road. Her once-mahogany complexion had turned ash-grey on Exaltation, and her fire was a pale green. It didn't seem to be any kind of sickness, but it was an unhealthy-looking anomaly. Marie was from New Orleans, which Sam knew was a hot spot for undead activity, but if she had any affinity for such things herself it hadn't shown. There were two others in the unit like her. What did it mean?

Then they reached the road moments ahead of the security convoy and there was no more time to worry about it. Three of her soldiers dashed across the road, creating a boundary of flickering flame in their wake. Another ten took up positions on the road, rifles at the ready.

Sam flipped a switch on her headset. "Get out of the cars!" She shouted, voice amplified. "U.S. military authority!" She had no real authority here, but they couldn't be sure of that. "We've got a national security situation!"

Men in black suits began climbing from the vehicles. They frowned at her and promptly vamped out. Damn it! Had Lilah turned so many? And why, against a group of Fire Aspects? "Open fire!" one of them shouted, and speed-drew a semi-automatic weapon.

"Fire at will," Sam responded, and both gunfire and actual fire began to fly. The vampires went down quickly under such a withering, inimical assault.

Without warning, one of the middle cars wentwhump! as they approached and exploded into a ball of fire. "Who hit the car?" Sam yelled. That was Lilah's car! She wanted the woman dead, but she needed confirmation.

No one answered, save for a few grunts of confusion. Sam flared her aura and charged forward into the flames. Lilah was plainly visible in the back seat, flailing helplessly in the fire; apparently she had no powers that could save her from this. She was likely as good as dead already, and Sam wasn't here to save her.

She only needed to know.

"Anyway," Lilah said, "it was a simple plan once I worked out how to disguise other people as myself. Inner-what did you call it?-Inner Devils Unleashed was just frosting on the cake, to make sure there were no survivors to warn them."

"Ingenious," D'Hoffryn acknowledged. "But Dragon-Blooded trying to kill you seem counter-productive."

Lilah nodded. "Don't worry so much. I intend to stay on the top half of this ticket. I've worked out how to put an end to this sort of thing."

"How?" Mara asked warily.

"Sex," Lilah said, smiling wryly. "From what you've told me, the Dragon-Blooded will screw just about anything, especially these first-generation types, but what they really want is to breed. The appearance of a Dragon-Blooded man should be well-nigh irresistable, and I believe I've worked out the kinks in releasing specific Exaltations. By what you said, there ought to be only one, so I don't have to worry about a flood of new Exalted coming for me."

"And if the Exaltation heads for Sydney or Mumbai?" Mara asked.

"You've indicated these aren't as picky as the others," Lilah argued. "They'll take anyone of reasonably good health who's of reproductive age. Past heroism is a plus, but not a requirement."

D'Hoffryn shrugged. "Essentially."

"Well, then," Lilah said, tapping the enthralled black-suited man beside her on the shoulder. "This corn-fed Iowa boy should be just about perfect."

At last, a glimmering of something approaching sanity. The Los Angeles city hall was perhaps not geomantically ideal, but it had clearly been built with some limited knowledge of geomancy. It was a blocky tower symbolizing the monolith of government, with a signpost indicating its connection to other cities. It was a place to start.

Light Shining walked inside and strolled up to the attractive woman at the front desk. "I would like to speak to the Mayor," he said.

"Do you have an appointment?" the functionary asked. Of course. Even a proper Exalted official would be busy; a mere mortal would be frantically scurrying about.

"We're old friends," Light Shining said amicably. "I don't need an appointment as long as he's in. If he's not, could you tell me where he is?" He leaned over the desk in a manner he hoped she would find attractive, remembering his current body too late when its breasts brushed the raised near edge of the furniture.

The functionary stared at him in consternation for a few long moments, but finally responded, "He's in his office. I'll buzz you in," and pressed a button.

For a moment it occurred to Light Shining that she might have overcome his charisma and be summoning security to escort him out, especially when she muttered something uncomplimentary about his sexual behavior, followed by "Damn interest groups," but the door ahead opened and she waved him inside. If he'd had his full powers on hand he'd have done something unpleasant to her, but needs must.

Light Shining breezed through a few more checkpoints, including one where he was startled to realize a male security guard was all but drooling over him. Finally he reached the Mayor's office, which was predictably stacked with disorganised boxes of papers and personal effects. "Excuse me," the Mayor said, "but I'm afraid I'm rather busy prepping to move out. Can I help you?"

"Moving out?" -term limits you loser- "What if I said you could stay in power?" That must be what was happening. His superior had removed him from office. Probably he was incompetent, which only helped Light Shining. "I can advise you how to accomplish that."

The Mayor hesitated for just a second, then waved a hand dismissively. "I wouldn't think of violating the law," he chuckled.

Inwardly, Light Shining fumed. "Could you get me an audience with your successor?"

"Um," the Mayor said idiotically, and pressed a button. "Probably. Ah...Donna...can you set this lady up with an appointment after the election? Miss...?"

"Light Shining in the Nether Regions," he responded.

The Mayor blinked and frowned. "Is that your PAC? All right, put that down, Donna."

"Two months from now good?" asked a voice over a communications system.

"Two months? Can nothing be done sooner?" What mad bureaucratic nonsense was this?

"You'll have to wait till after the inauguration, Miss. We don't even know for sure who it'll be yet."

Light's fury bubbled to the surface and he raised his hand to begin an incantation.

"Say," the Mayor said, "aren't you that...ah...superhero? Gizmo Girl or something like that?"

A middle-aged mortal woman with slightly darkened skin poked her head into the office. "Looks like her, doesn't it? I don't think she's given a name for herself yet. Kinda stayed in the background. Said she's a genius or something. NBC called her Gizmo Girl, I think. Are you her?"

Light Shining snarled and spat out the only spell he could remember so far. A torrent of living darkness poured from his mouth and engulfed the fool of a Mayor.

"C'mon, Gizmo Girl," said a voice from behind him. "A, you're overusing that thing, and B, you're ruining your public image here."

"Shadow's Grace," Light Shining grumbled. "Will you never cease bedeviling me?"

"Go on," the thing in Harm's body said. "Attack me, Shadow's Grace. Kill your pathetic little friend. She can't defend herself from you. Trust me; I know. What use she is to you is beyond me. You, on the other hand, can kill us in a heartbeat."

B-bot seized one of the mayor's arms; an electrical discharge surged through him and dissipated the shadow.

"Arrest these women," Light Shining told the mayor, who blinked weakly in confusion.

"Y-yes," the mayor stammered. "You people are vigilantes-you included, young lady! You're under citizen's arrest. Donna, call the police and lock down this office!" He seemed a little dazed.

Amy made a forceful upward gesture, and Harmony surged away from the ground. She only began to laugh. "The police will no doubt kill you all," she snickered, "once I've spoken to them." Faith glanced at Amy; she at least was still considered a fugitive.

"Kate won't let them do that," Amy said confidently. Faith wasn't so sure. Yes, Kate had connections; yes, she was an Exalt. But-

"Lockley. Or should I call you 'Mama Bear'? You know, you were hot stuff once."

"Yeah, yeah, Bates, and then I got caught up in weird occult stuff, I know." Kate paused. "Has it occurred to you: I can turn into a bear?"

Bates didn't lower his revolver. "Valid point. Doesn't authorize vigilante justice."

"You're right," Kate called back. "Nothing does. Sometimes it's necessary anyway."

"That's a load of-" A bottle struck the back of Bates' head, and about three dozen walking dead men strode into view.

"Sorry I'm late," Shoat shouted. "Had to get new minions."

"Minions, huh?" Kate laughed in spite of herself as the police began shooting at the zombies. "Know where I can get some minions?"

"Try the zoo?" That might work.

Kate genuinely didn't want power. But as Lilah galloped toward the White House, she was starting to wonder if she might soon be the lesser of evils.

Faith took a step toward Amy as gunfire erupted outside, and almost didn't notice as Harmony took a swing at her. She didn't bother ducking; Harm couldn't-

Harm's punch dislocated Faith's jaw, and she staggered against Amy, who dropped Harmony to the floor. "I've never taken much interest in common fisticuffs," the necromancer said, "but your friend has an astonishing affinity for it."

Faith popped her jaw back into place. It was easy to forget that Harm'd been no couch potato as a student; cheerleaders might not be bodybuilders, but they didn't exactly neglect strength. This was beyond that, though; it must've been something the necromancer had managed to figure out slash teach Harmony.

"She works out," B-bot said, agreeing with Faith's thoughts. "Gymnastics are good exercise. Harmony is an athlete."

"Bah," the necromancer spouted. "Harmony is a useless piece of fluff who should never have come closer to being a Solar than sharing the bed of one."

And then, without any warning, he froze in mid-stride.

Light Shining was sitting in a small chair with a writing desk, surrounded by children at other desks. He looked down at himself. He was also a child, in his late teens perhaps.

"I've figured something out," said the girl beside him. "Well...several things. One...you're stupid." Light Shining tried to get out of the desk and go after her, but found himself trapped. "You're going to call me a name. Insect. Slug. Mouse. Whatever. You've forgotten something."

Harmony rose from the desk and stood over him. "Sure," she said. "I'm a mouse. So are you. Humans are all mice. The only difference is that we're mice who can roar."

Light Shining wrenched at the scene. They were at the mouth of the Abyss. Harmony stood there too, taking the place of the Honest One. "The Primordials thought we were all nothing," she said. "They paid for it, too." She turned and smacked the tomb wall. "See, what I've figured out..."

They were. back in the classroom. "I envy you," Harmony said. "You're smart. You have a future. Only...you envy me too. I'm pretty. I'm popular. You've got a future, but I've got the present. Girls think you're ugly. Guys think you're a dweeb. You, like, wanna prove them wrong. And you did. And all by itself, there's nothing wrong with that. It's okay. People've got all kinds of reasons for doing big important things."

She pulled him up by the scruff of his neck. This was intolerable! "But you didn't grow up, Light Shining. You're still totally a scared little boy. You're afraid someone's going to come along and see what a fake you are. You still envy me...and...and I feel sorry for you."

Harmony looked him in the eyes. "I understand you. I got the good parts of being you. I got to keep the good parts of being me, too. I'm pretty. I'm athletic. I get people. I'm sorry you never had those things. But it's too late. You're, like, not even a ghost." She glanced over her shoulder at the Honest One. "You were...contemptuous of him. And jealous, too. That's why you said I was nothing. You thought he was nothing too, but no way would you have gotten necromancy without him."

"Being a Twilight was a fluke," Harmony acknowledged. "Being Exalted wasn't. I wasn't smart, but how many Dawns are smart? I was popular, I understood people, I might even have been able to lead if I'd been just a smidge smarter, not much. And now I am."

The girl sat him down gently in his seat. "I don't envy you any more. I didn't even realize it was happening. I set out to make myself an independent woman. To be better. Maybe if I hadn't Exalted I wouldn't have gotten far-like, maybe I'd be a secretary at some law firm. But that's better than living in a crypt or...or a...girl cave eating stale popcorn and wearing my high school letter jacket. I let go of envying you and started making myself better at something. And now...I don't envy you at all any more. It just kinda...withered and dropped off." Her caste mark flared, suddenly, not bright but black and forboding; she didn't seem to notice. "But hey...at least you get to be me now. And you know, that's pretty cool for a loser like you."

Harmony looked around. "Hey, Mr. Mayor! Um...I'm totes sorry. I promise I didn't want to hurt you. And it wasn't exactly me, but I'll pay reparations if you want."

The mayor stared at her. "Just...just go," he breathed. "I've had enough trouble for one day. I'll call off the police."

Harmony grinned at him. That was really nice of him to agree to that. "If you wanna," she said.

Five Days' Darkness was in Kate's office when they all got back. He sat there holding his head. "You set us up to kill her," Kate accused. "She beat him without lifting a finger."

"I don't think you realize," Five groaned. "I used to believe those...gothic imbeciles in their skulls and black leather were frightening for knowing necromancy. I never realized how terrifying a feckless woman-child could be. I saw it in her when she arrived just now. That girl has initiated herself in less than a month as far as the Onyx Circle. What if having been a vampire and being the reincarnation of one of the Black Nadir Concordat are the boost she needs to be the first Solar to reach the Void Circle? There's always a first time with Solars, you know. Always."

"What if?" Kate repeated. "If...then we trust her."

"Trust that...cheerleader to wield the entropic forces of the monsters eating reality?" Five stared at her. "Kate, don't be naive."

"Maybe," Kate said, "it's really never occurred to you that a powerful necromancer might be exactlywhat you need to deal with horrifying titanic ghosts." It hadn't occurred to her, either, till she said it.

Five stared at her some more. Maybe her hair was on fire? "I don't think it works that way."

"Maybe not," Kate admitted. "We're all playing with fire here just being Exalted. You trust me. You trust Faith. Trust Harm. She's a grownup. Before long she's going to be smarter than either of us." She shook her head. "Damn, that's a weird thought."

"You've got minions?" Harm squeed in the background. "Shoat, that's awesome! I want minions!"

Five Days' Darkness buried his face in his hands. After a moment, Kate sighed, took her own advice, and went out to congratulate Harmony.