Author: PreppyPrincess5103
Disclaimer: I own nothing.
Summary: Harm. & Mac begin their life together, while both deal with the reality of Harm's decision to resign his commission. Spoiler alert: Mac doesn't handle it very well. (Continuation of It Started in Russia, and Everything is Going to Be Okay)
Notes: It's been a very long time. I went so long without updating this, that I kind of forgotten where it was going. But someone reminded me about it and the reminder came at the perfect time. I've been itching to write some Harm and Mac fluff/sexiness (the end of this part is smutty), and since my other active stories are Mac/Other and an angsty one, I was seriously thisclose to starting something new. But instead, I'll wrap this up and finally close this series I started almost two years ago!
Part Seventeen
One Month Later
"Mac, we're going to be late!"
Harm opened the fridge and pulled out the covered dishes he had prepared for the admiral's annual Fourth of July party. He put the dishes in a large shopping bag and set it on the counter before checking his watch. "Mac!" No answer. He sighed and made his way to their bedroom. He tapped on the closed bathroom door. "Are you okay?"
"I'm fine. Just give me a minute."
"I've given you almost an hour. We're going to be late."
"I'll be out in a minute. Give me some privacy."
He frowned and twisted the door knob. She hadn't locked it and it opened easily. He peeked in, and frowned at what he saw. She was sitting on the edge of the tub, wearing only a towel, and multiple boxes scattered on the floor around her.
Mac jumped up, anger flashing in her eyes. She tightened the towel with one arm and tucked the other behind her back. "What the hell, Harm!"
He looked at the floor, and at the three pregnancy test boxes. Two of them had been opened. He stared at the boxes, and then looked up at her. "Are you?" The words came out in a whisper.
She swiped at the tears on her cheek and shrugged. "I have no idea." She tossed the test she had been holding in the small trash can and sat on the edge of the tub. "I have no idea," she repeated, her voice breaking, "because every one of these goddamned tests tells me something different. I took one this morning because I heard morning urine has the highest amount of the pregnancy hormone, and the test was inconclusive. So, I bought a few more on the way home. And the first one said yes, but the second one said no." She was crying harder now, and wiped at her face again.
He sat down next to her and pulled her close. "Hey, it's okay. Everything is okay."
She cried harder. "It's not okay. What kind of mother can I expect to be if I can't even get a straight answer from a pregnancy test?"
He kissed the top of her head and held her closer. "You're going to be an amazing mother. You're putting too much stock into a cheap plastic stick that you pee on." He stood and pulled her up. "Come on." She stood and crossed her arms over her chest. "It doesn't matter what the third one says, because regardless you won't trust it. Now, get dressed and we'll run by the hospital."
"Harm, it's the Fourth of July."
"I know. We better get there quickly before everyone who has a firework related injury shows up." He smiled and bent over to pick up the boxes and then tossed them into the trash. "It's going to be okay. No matter what the test says, it'll be okay."
"What if I am?"
Her voice was small and he couldn't help but frown. "If you are, it'll be wonderful. We both want children, Mac. We want a family and we're getting married in three months. The baby will be wanted and loved."
She sniffled and swallowed. "And what if I'm not?"
He grinned. "Then you're not. We can start trying, if that's what you want. But it's okay if you're not. I didn't know this was going on until about five minutes ago, and I was completely fine then."
"Okay." She dropped her towel into the hamper and walked out of the bathroom. He groaned and followed her, and watched as she quickly dressed in navy blue shorts, a red tank top and tan sandals. She went back in the bathroom and brushed her hair and put on a touch of makeup. She went back in the bedroom and saw Harm sitting on the bed. "I'm ready."
He grabbed her hand and tugged her close. "You know I love you, right? No matter what."
"I know." She raised her hand to cup his cheek and her engagement ring sparkled brightly.
Harm found a spot in the admiral's front yard and turned off his car. "You okay?"
Mac nodded, feeling calmer than she had. The hospital had been busy & the lab was backed up since it was a holiday. But they had taken her blood, and promised she'd have the results by the next morning morning. "I'm okay. I wish I knew, but I'm okay."
"Are you late? Is that why you think you are?"
She shrugged. "Just a couple of days. No real cause for concern, but I'm not usually late. And my body just feels a little off."
Harm nodded and leaned over the console to kiss her. "Do you feel okay now?"
"Yeah, I feel great now." She leaned back against the leather seat and looked at him. "You'll really be okay if I am?"
He placed a hand on her firm stomach and nodded. "If you are, I'll be thrilled."
She nodded and smiled. "You're going to make me cry again."
He leaned in and gave her a soft kiss. "Then I'll stop." He kissed her one more time and then opened the door. "Come on, let's go celebrate with our friends."
She opened her own door and smoothed her clothes. "We really should have celebrated two days ago."
He rolled his eyes and grabbed the bag of food. "Not this again…"
She grinned and fell into step beside him, grabbing his free hand. "Hey, I'm just saying. Independence Day should really be on the second."
"Oh yeah?" He bit back a smile and played along. She got a kick out of telling him this story every year. "Says who?"
"John Adams. And I think he would know."
Harm rolled his eyes and gave her hand a squeeze while she started talking about the events of 1776.
Mac stepped away from the crowd and went to sit on the front porch. She cringed as she thought about last year when Mic had tried to kiss her. But thankfully he was back in Australia now and Harm was here. She knew the fireworks were about to start and leaned back on her hands. This was a good spot to watch the show, and it was far enough from their group that she was able to think.
The freak out had been for nothing - the blood work had come back shockingly fast and was negative. She placed her hand on her abdomen and thought of Harm's hand on her earlier. He really had seemed happy about the possibility of a baby, which had surprised her. She had been convinced he would freak out. Maybe one of these days she'd finally have the faith in him that he deserved. She spotted him walking to her, and let her hand drop. "Hey."
He smiled and sat next to her. "Are you okay?"
"I'm fine." His gaze was intense and she looked away. "I'm not pregnant but I'm fine."
He frowned. "How do you know? The results aren't supposed to be back until tomorrow."
"Apparently they weren't as busy they claimed to be." She watched a blue firework light up the sky and then looked at him. "Did you want me to be pregnant?"
He took a deep breath and moved closer so their thighs were touching. "I don't know. The timing isn't ideal. I mean, you bought a wedding dress you absolutely love and we're going to Hawaii for our honeymoon. I know you're really excited about some of the adventurous options at the resort, and I'm not sure those would be possible if you were three or four months pregnant." He took a deep breath and reached for her hand. "But I kind of did. It wasn't something I knew that I wanted, but yeah. Now that the thought is out there, I want it."
She nodded. "I think I wanted to be too. The timing would have been terrible, but..." she trailed off and shrugged.
He squeezed her hand. "Okay. So, let's get through the wedding and the honeymoon, and then we'll start trying."
"You're serious?"
"Yeah, I'm serious." He leaned in and kissed her. She deepened the kiss and moaned as his hand traveled up her side, stopping at the curve of her breast. "Want to get out of here?"
Mac smiled but shook her head. "Not yet. The fireworks are pretty. Let's stay a little longer."
He placed his lips on her collarbone and moved to her ear. "We can make our own fireworks at home." He gently tugged at her earlobe with his teeth and was satisfied by the shiver that ran through her. "Everyone is coupled up here. I promise no one will miss us."
She looked up as a white firework exploded above them and finally nodded. "We can go, but we have to say goodbye first." She stood and held out her hand to him.
He had been right about everyone else being too coupled up to miss them, and they were able to say a quick goodbye and head home. The drive back to their apartment was quiet, both lost in their own thoughts.
"What's on your mind?"
She glanced at him and then turned back to the road and shrugged. "Nothing really. Just general thoughts about how much my life has changed in a year."
He frowned, and turned in the passenger seat to look at her. "You are happy with these changes, aren't you?" She nodded, but he could tell by the set of her jaw that there was something she wasn't telling him. "So, why do you look so concerned?"
She continued to stare ahead and finally sighed and glanced at him. She moved one hand to rest on his knee and swallowed. "Harm, a year and a half ago we worked together. I was single, and had sworn off men. And a year ago you were on a carrier, and even though I loved you, I had no idea how you and I would make it work. Now we're engaged, living together, and I'm buying pregnancy tests. It just feels…" She trailed off and glanced up as a firework exploded in the air.
"It feels what? Come on, Mac. Talk to me."
"I'm trying." She glanced up as another firework exploded and pulled off the road and into a restaurant parking lot. She looked at him and shook her head. "Sorry. But between this conversation and the fireworks I feel too distracted to drive." He nodded and she leaned back in her seat. "It feels overwhelming. And it doesn't feel like it's actually my life."
Harm frowned. "What do you mean it doesn't feel like your life?"
Mac shrugged. "It feels… too normal, you know?" She glanced at him and felt a flutter in her stomach. He was watching her with an intensity she typically only saw on his face when he was flying a plane. "I never thought I'd be in this place."
"What place?"
His voice was so soft and kind, and she couldn't help but picture him as a father, trying to talk to a teenager who had gotten into some kind of trouble. She knew he wouldn't be the kind of parent that yelled. She waved a hand around the car. "I never thought I'd drive such a nice car. Or wear an heirloom engagement ring. Or leave a party with friends that didn't result in everyone getting falling down drunk. Or even have friends that are doctors and lawyers and Congresswomen. I never thought I'd talk to my fiancé about having children and we'd make the decision to start trying." He frowned and she bit her lip. "In my world people didn't try to get pregnant. It always just happened. And then the cycle would just start all over again. That was supposed to be my life – not this."
He wasn't sure how to respond, and they just stared at each other in silence. Finally, he cleared his throat and crossed his arms over her chest. "Would you rather have that life?"
"God, no." She reached out and placed a hand on his arm. They both looked at her hand, and watched the ring shimmer under the streetlights. "It's just all been a whirlwind, and I'm scared."
"Sweetheart, what are you scared of?"
"I guess I'm scared that one day someone will realize I'm an imposter and I'm living a life that was never supposed to be mine." Her eyes welled with tears and she sniffed. "I'm scared of losing it all. Losing you, losing the family we want. Hell, losing your family. Losing the friends we share."
He leaned over the console and took her face in his hands. "Listen to me, Mac. You are never going to lose me. Never. And you are deserving of every single thing you have." He moved even closer and brushed his lips over hers. She covered his hands with hers and squeezed.
"I love you so much."
He kissed her forehead. "I love you too." And then he covered her mouth was his and gave her a kiss that made her shiver.
Harm closed the door behind them and his eyes scanned the apartment, and tried to picture it with baby things all over the place. He glanced at Mac and moved to stand behind her. He wrapped an arm around her waist and smiled as she melted into him. She deleted the voicemail she had been listening to and then turned to face him.
"Hi."
He grinned and wrapped his other arm around her. "Hey there." He placed a soft kiss on her neck and felt himself harden at the noise she made. "There is something we should do before the wedding, and before we have a baby."
She leaned back and raised an eyebrow. "Oh? What's that?"
"We still need to buy a house." He spun her around so her back was against his chest and she could see the whole space. "I don't think the apartment is big enough for us and a baby."
She winced and nodded. "Yeah, I know." The spare bedroom was already serving double duty as storage and a guest room. Not that they really needed a guest room, but they couldn't have half of the room taken up with boxes if it had a permanent resident. "We've been talking about buying a house for months. I guess we need to call a realtor."
"Good. We agree." He looked around the apartment, and then shifted so his chin rested on her shoulder. "I'm going to miss this place, though."
She nodded. "Yeah, me too." They had spent most of their relationship in this space, and could count the number of nights they had spent in his loft on one hand."
He ran his hands up and down her sides and whispered in her ear, "I do believe the first orgasm I ever gave you happened in this apartment."
Mac turned to face him and smiled. She moved her hands to the hem of his t-shirt, and began to fidget with it, every so often letting her fingertips brush over his belly. "I think you're right." She moved her hands to the hem of her tank top and pulled it over her head. She watched with pleasure as his eyes darkened and moaned as his hands moved to her breasts. "You did promise me more fireworks if we left the party early."
He traced the edge of her white satin bra with a finger. "I never make a promise I can't keep." Their eyes locked, and he reached around her to undo the clasp. He stepped away long enough to pull the garment from her arms and then tossed it behind him. He bent and took a hard nipple into his mouth. She moaned, and reached for the button on his jeans. He pulled back and lifted her up. Her legs instinctively wrapped around his waist, and he carried her a few feet to the counter.
"Harm," she moaned, "take me to bed."
He shook his head and undid the button on her shorts. He tugged the shorts and her panties off in one movement, and stared at her for a minute. She was naked, flushed and breathless, while he was fully dressed and almost painfully hard.
She reached for him, and pulled him to her for a deep kiss. "Bed." She whispered into his mouth.
He shook his head again. "If we're selling this place, we need to start making some of the fantasies I've had over the years happen."
She raised and eyebrow and reached for the hem of his shirt, finally pulling it off of him. "And you've had fantasies that involved the kitchen counter?"
He pushed her legs apart and slid a long finger into her. She gasped and then moaned loudly when his thumb moved over her clit. He leaned in and tugged on her earlobe with his teeth before whispering, "I've fantasized about having you naked and screaming my name on every single surface of his apartment."
It wasn't long before he had her to the edge and she was enthusiastically falling over it. She clutched his shoulders, her nails digging into the flesh as her hips quivered and she cried out his name.
"Harm." This time his name was barely a whisper.
"What do you want, Mac? Tell me what you want me to do." She waited a moment for her breathing to return to normal, and then she placed her hands on his waist, and slowly moved to the button. She undid the button and pushed his jeans and boxers down his waist. He quickly toed off his shoes and stepped out of his clothes before moving back to her. "What do you want, Sarah?"
She took him in her hand, and his moan filled the room. Her hand was warm and soft, and he was impossibly hard. "I want you inside me. Please, Harm. I'll beg if I have to."
He jerked, and her hand tightened around him. He pulled her hand away, and lifted her again. Her legs went around his waist, and he carried her into the bedroom. He dropped her on the bed, and hovered over her for a moment, before her legs wrapped around him and she pulled him to her. He sank into her, and he went still for a moment. They had been lovers for over a year now, and he still constantly marveled at how incredible being inside her felt. She began to move beneath him, and he pulled back to look at her.
"Harder, Harm. Please. Hard and fast."
He loved those words. And they were so sexy when they came from her. So, he closed his eyes and let himself go.
End Part 17