A.N. Hope you are all still enjoying this story.
UPDATE: So… I realized I'd messed up the dates and had to fix them. Sorry for the repost of like…. ALL of the chapters… Please forgive me…
Disclaimer: I do not own Escaflowne nore any of the Characters therein. This is purely fanmade.
XX
""The only way you may correct the bad things in your past is to add better things to your future."
-Shiloh Morrison
XX
Chapter 2: To Correct the Past
XX
September 3, 1996
Gaea
XX
She couldn't sleep. It was as simple as that. After all the battles, death, and nightmarish visions that she couldn't erase from her mind or her hands, she had developed insomnia and on this planet she doubted they had Ambien. "This is so stupid…" She muttered under her breath, hugging her middle to stay warm in her thin little track suit as she walked aimlessly through the night ridden camp.
There were a few night watches posted on the edges, just beyond the tents that were erected about a fire pit that was no longer lit. The tents were a plus compared to the night before when they had practically slept just outside of the battle field. That had been uncomfortable enough, and she had blamed her restlessness on the lack of security, but now, with a tent all to herself, she felt even more insecure and it was really irritating.
She was the only female in the camp aside from Celena, and seeing how the other girl acted like she was barely older than a toddler—Hitomi really didn't want to think of what that implied about her mental health and the horrors one small girl had lived through—she was rooming with Allen, one of the only men with his own tent. Royals, like Van were allotted their own places of rest. It seemed that now after all was said and done, all of Gaea was attempting to return the order of their world, and that started with the reinstatement of the hierarchy it would seem.
Hitomi rolled her eyes. "Yes, because that will solve everything…" As far as she was concerned it had been many of the royals themselves that had been the cause for all this heartache and suffering; them and her foolish and fickle heart. Her stomach felt sour and she swallowed hard to try and rid her throat of the slick grimy feel.
I'm a murderer… Hitomi gripped at her neck, trembling from the truth she had been trying to suppress. She had not yet been strong enough to tell anyone the truth of the events, and she really didn't know how Van would react to it all. She may not have dealt the final blow to anyone, but it had been her belief in those visions that had caused the death of the doppelganger, of Balgus, Duke Chid's father, and Folken.
Hitomi knew Van wouldn't take that news well at all, and she didn't want to face the truth herself, or the chance that he might come to hate her. That was a very real possibility.
"Hitomi?" The sudden voice made her jump and she spun around to face the King of Fanelia quickly, hand gripping her pendant and pressing against her chest.
"V—Van!" It was less than a shout but more than a gasp and she saw the young man try not to smirk at her reaction. He apparently found her funny. Well, if he wanted to be a jerk then she could emulate it.
She would never admit that his actions had lessened the chill of her dread and memories, allowing her to release the pendant and recall Folken's words at the end. Believe in Van. I have to believe that he will understand, that he will accept the truth and not condemn me for my naiveté. Taking a deep breath, Hitomi faked irritation, puffing her cheeks out and settling her hands on her hips. "What do you want?"
She angled her head away from him and tilted her nose up in a slightly facetious manner that she knew would get a soft and breathy chuckle from him. She was modeling herself after Merle after all, and Van should recognize the attempt. A moment passed, then three, before she heard the soft snort of sound and she found her heart lightening.
"Its rude you know, to startle people like that. How would you like it if I came into your tent in the early morning and started slamming two pots together or dumped cold water on your head?" Hitomi rattled on and on, for no other reason than she was certain Van found some amusement in it, and that somehow eased the guilt she was carrying herself. "You know I should do that just to show you how it feels!"
"You would walk into a man's sleeping quarters unaccompanied?" His voice obviously laced with humor, Hitomi felt her jaw drop at the smoothness of that comment. Van was all awkwardness and pride, when had he become so damned slick? It was nearly out of character for him, until she realized that it had not been Van who had said it, but Allen. "That is rather foolish of you."
Blushing to the roots of her hair, Hitomi gaped like a fish for several long minutes while Allen continued to smile at her. He was of course teasing her, but the edge of discomfort still lingered between them. She hadn't meant to lead Allen on, but in the end, that had been what she had done, and she felt decidedly wretched for it. "A—allen…I, I didn't mean it in that—I—we—"
"But then again, Van isn't actually a man yet, is he?" The barb was just barely made in jest and Hitomi knew without the help of Van's bristling that a fight was inevitable. Allen was challenging Van and she had the sickening feeling that it was over her.
Van's hand reached down but only rested on the hilt of his weapon—what did he do, sleep with it on—obviously knowing better than to draw now. "What is it you wanted, knight of Caeli?" The use of Allen's title and rank was Van's subtle insult and a return for Allen's continued disrespect throughout the war, and if it ruffled Allen's calm, he never showed it.
"I merely heard Hitomi's raised voice and came to make certain that she was unharmed." His words were accompanied by a rather pointed stare and Hitomi wondered what this argument was really about, because she had that feeling, the one that was usually right, that this was about something entirely different than what she was actually hearing.
"She's fine." Van implied, looking a little too smug.
"You will understand if I wish to hear that from the lady." Allen's words were challenging, but Van just shrugged, in that casual, bratty manner he had exuded when they had first met. Surprisingly she had missed this arrogant side of him.
"Of course."
It was Allen's turn to tense, his accusing blue eyes turning on her then. She certainly didn't like that look and straightened up. He had an irritating way of treating her like a child, but she was neither his sister, nor was she his fiancée and so, he had no right to treat her that way. "Van startled me and I was giving him a lecture for it." Her own eyes narrowed in confusion, "What did you think we were doing Allen?"
Allen's response was never heard as a silent blond woman in a plain white linen dress came up behind Allen to grab a fistful of his shirt. The knight jumped and turned, eyes immediately softening as he held sister's smaller hands in a far gentler hold than he had ever shown any other female to date. "Celena? What are you doing out here? It's far too cold you should be sleeping in your warm blankets."
His lecture brought a silent smile to her face and she pushed closer to him, hugging Allen and snuggling in like a very small child. Hitomi was both unnerved and soothed by the image. Allen finally had someone to coddle that needed that sort of attention, but the fact that the girl needed such a thing at all, that she hardly spoke, and that she grew fearful when the blonde Asturian wasn't within reach was horribly saddening and frightening.
"You should get her back to bed." Hitomi said warmly, forcing a smile onto her face when blue eyes shot up to her own. He seemed torn, and it only reminded her of her sins against him. "She needs you now, besides it is late."
Van shot her a pouty look but remained silent as Allen weighed her words carefully. The deciding factor was the barely whispered, "Brother," from the vicinity of Allen's chest.
"You are right Hitomi. I'm sorry I cannot escort you back to your tent—"
"I know the way Allen." Hitomi admonished with a shake of her head. "I'm fully capable of getting there myself, now take care of your sister."
The affectionate tone she used gained her a small nod and finally, he was leaving, tucking his sister against his side like a precious treasure. And, truthfully, she was. She hoped that things worked out well for the two of them.
"You're not heading back?" Van asked after a moment and Hitomi stiffened, aware that even if she did return she wouldn't be able to sleep.
"I don't need a keeper, Van Fanel." Hitomi snapped, turning her head away and crossing her arms. "I'll leave when I feel like it."
"You can't sleep can you?"
Her silence must have said volumes.
She heard a sigh and the sound of fabric moving and for a second she thought Van had simply turned around to go back to sleep himself, but then he was talking and she couldn't stop from turning around.
"Come on in."
"What?" Hitomi hissed her cheeks flushing darkly at the image Van made standing in the open space of the tent, arm holding open the flap, and looking far too good in his simple red top and tanned hide pants. She would never admit to liking the soft feel of the fabric, nor being impressed that he could pull off the leather-like quality of the clothes without seeming silly in her eyes. He looked far too good, and, opposed to what Allen had said, very much a man.
She wasn't stupid, nor was she missing hormones. She had been both shocked and excited that time Van had said, 'I want you.' If she was honest with herself, she probably would have let him have her if he hadn't amended his statement. She was certain that if Van had kissed her the night before in the forest she wouldn't have stopped him, and frighteningly enough, if he pressed for more she wasn't certain that she would deny him. With that very shocking knowledge warring with her insecurity and the fact that she was seriously not ready for sex yet, going into that tiny room with him was the last thing she thought she should do.
Apparently, Van was able to catch on to what she thought he meant as he too turned a bright pink and turned away from her to start rambling. "N—not like that, I… I just can't sleep either—" Van stiffened as though just realizing how that would sound and he returned to hurriedly rambling his very platonic intentions, and Hitomi was both relieved and disappointed by it. Mostly though, she was smitten by his clumsiness.
Allen was smooth and in control at all times and though that was thrilling, it also made her feel inadequate, and insecure. With Van, they both had no clue what they were doing. They were on even ground, and it felt very nice.
"—after so long I'm used to sleeping with another presence. I mean first we were sleeping on the run and there was you and Merle, and then I was sharing space with Allen and, it's just, last night…" Van trailed off his cheeks darkening further.
He really was too cute sometimes.
How did I miss that? Smiling, Hitomi stepped up toward him. "I feel safer by your side too Van." She figured one of them had to be brave, and Van was usually the first to step up to that, but she figured it was her turn to assist in their relationship.
He was still frowning when he reached out and grabbed her wrist, promptly pulling her inside. His actions seemed to say, "I can do that." Her heart fluttered a bit and she had to question her bizarre enjoyment of his gentle force. Maybe it was because she knew he wouldn't hurt her and that if she said no he would stop, that made his insistence thrilling. He wanted her in his sleeping space, he wanted her close, he wasn't going to let her misconstrue that, but he would not force her to remain there.
Her hormones suddenly kicked into overdrive and she felt hyper aware of his touch and the small dimensions of his tent as he lead her over to the pile of blankets set up as a bed, and her hormones were then joined by nerves. "Uh… Van?"
He tugged her to the pile and then released her wrist to tug off his boots. She blushed as he bent over and she was able to see every inch of his backside through the tightening of his clothes. He wasn't big musculature -wise, and he was mostly gangly and all joints, but she knew he was toned, she knew he had amazing control over his awkward body, and she also knew from various health classes that he probably would grow for a few more years, so his height would improve some. The stress he put on his body from his constant use of the sword and the strain of using a guymelef when his muscles and joints were still growing would cause damage. The injuries he received throughout the war, and the minor malnutrition would also be a factor in stunting him if he wasn't careful and knowing Van, he wouldn't be, but overall, he was still very good looking as is, and she wasn't above staring.
He would probably neglect his health and instead throw himself into rebuilding Fanelia and thus never reach his full potential in height, but even that was endearing and beautiful to her. She almost had the urge to trace his back where his wings were with a finger as her thoughts trailed further. An angel should be delicate… strong, but deceptively frail. Hitomi smiled, Like a field.
"Hitomi?" Van had removed his shoes and had turned to her with an odd expression and she felt herself flush again.
"Sorry!" Turning she quickly untied her sneakers and pulled them off her feet, choosing to sit down on the blankets as opposed to bending over and showing off her back end. Her track shorts were short enough thank you. Finished, she set the shoes properly at the end and shifted back until she was sitting halfway up the bed. Only then did it click in that she was sitting on Van's bed.
"Uh…" She picked at the comforter uncomfortably as Van plopped down beside her. She was painfully aware of how different he was from her. The fact that he was male was nearly over powering, and in conjunction with the fact that she loved him and it made her nerves sing. "…er… Van, I—"
"Goodnight, Hitomi." Van cut her off, flopping—seriously, no sex appeal what-so-ever—down with his back facing her and seemed to try and fall asleep.
That was majorly insulting. Hitomi gaped at his back with the urge to hit him and debated what was wrong with her to make him not even try anything with her. Certainly she wasn't ready for that yet, but his complete ease and ignorance of her very womanly—okay so she was as thin and gangly as he was, but she was still a healthy fifteen-year-old girl with budding curves and would it hurt to show some desire for her—form, hurt her pride. Well, fine, I can ignore him too!
Flopping down herself Hitomi tried to get comfortable, but her anger made it impossible to relax. She didn't even realize that with her irritation the sexual tension between them was gone. After a while, the anger dissipated and the feeling of calm washed over her.
Van was there, right behind her, and she knew he'd keep her safe. Sighing she scooted back until her spine touched his, and felt brave. Van relaxed at the contact and she smiled into the darkness. She could probably fall sleep right now, but her thoughts were still in turmoil, the guilt was even stronger now that she was using Van's strength as her own, and in the cover of the night, her back pressed to the one she loved, she whispered her problems.
"It's my fault all of this happened." Van's only reaction was a catch in his breathing. It proved he was awake and listening, and his consideration to let her finish was nice. "My pendant is a relic from Atlantis, and without knowing it, I made all this happen." She broke off, her voice brittle as she stared off into the darkness, eyes wet remembering Varie and Folken, and Sir Issac Newton admonishing her for her ignorant actions. "By not believing in a positive outcome, but only believing that my visions were always correct, I caused many people to suffer. The pendant… the pendant made it reality."
The stillness of the night was freeing and almost seemed un-judging and soon the whole sordid truth came spilling from her lips. She told him about Balgus, and all those times she saved him, about the doppelganger she still had no name for, about the wedding with Millerna and Dryden, and about Folken. She wasn't aware she was crying, or how hard she was gripping the blankets under her until Van suddenly rolled over and his arms pulled around her tight. His hands gripped both her forehead and wrist and used them to anchor her to his chest.
The action was warm and comforting, and most importantly, forgiving. Hitomi felt fresh tears sting her eyes and burn her nose as Van nestled his head atop of hers, his lips brushing the edge of her ear, his breath bathing it as he spoke, his tone thick and heavy with the weight of simple understanding. "We all carry sins Hitomi. This war changed all of us and left no one unscarred. I killed, I hated, rushed into battle without thought to the consequences, without really knowing why I was doing it." His admission was derisive and clipped, and Hitomi found herself turning her hand to grip at his fingers in comfort, and his arms flexed in response. "War… brings out the worst in people. The dark parts that we don't want to admit are there. It turns pacifists into murderers, and destroys the pretty fronts and facades we claim to be true."
It was a cruel reality, one she was certain he knew implicitly and it hurt to know he had to understand that, but it also reassured her because he could understand her pain and regret, and he was holding her now which made her hope that he didn't blame her, or at least hate her for her shortfalls. She gripped at his arm when he pressed forward, the last of his impressive speech hitting home and neutralizing her darkest fear.
"But, it also brings out one's true character. You wanted to save everyone, Hitomi. You saw a vision that you thought to be true and you tried to keep it from happening. You only made one selfish choice in regards to Millerna, but that was the only time. You did not intentionally wish death on anyone, you sought to stop it. You meant to protect, and in your attempts to do so, you have been stained. Stained, but not broken." The unspoken, 'like me' hung heavy between them, and Hitomi couldn't stop herself from turning to return Van's embrace. She wrapped her arms around him and pulled tight enough to cause him to wheeze out in shock, but she didn't let go.
"Thank you. Thank you, Van. I'm sorry, so sorry I couldn't stop it. I'm sorry I didn't know…" She whimpered and sniffled and cried and he didn't once try and shush her. He held her just as tightly as she held him, her pillar of strength while everything else crumbled around her and let her bleed the wound.
He truly was an angel.
After sometime, long enough for exhaustion to take her tears and hold her eyes closed Hitomi breathed deeply, cocooned in the calming scent of the fields, Van's smell, and felt oddly content and numb. There was no more guilt, no more pain, she felt a little hollow at the moment, but knew that in the morning she would be better. She would be healing.
Content and a little sleepily, Hitomi placed a kiss, soft, fleeting, and innocent, to Van's chest, where she felt his heart beating and whispered, slumber edging her every breathe, "I love you…"
He stiffened a bit in her arms, but she was too far gone to care. She said her peace, and that was the last burden weighing on her conscious. As sleep finally came up to drag her under, she heard his reply, faint and distant against her hair, "I… love you too, Hitomi."
It was hesitant, and awkward, but it was perfect for them, and she smiled, snuggled into the warmth of Van's person and the blankets around them. Comforted by the smell and the knowledge that she was completely safe by his side, Hitomi dropped off into sleep, well aware that in the morning they would be uncomfortable and embarrassed by their own confessions, but that was a worry for another day.
Her dreams were light and frivolous and throughout it all a gentle Gaurdian Angel with dark hair and an awkward gait stood watch.
XX
Tenth Day of the Ninth Month
Year 7 of Carusfatum
XX
Merle stood at the very edge of the door, peering in like a recalcitrant child. Van hadn't moved from his post beside the bed since his return some two hours before, and she was starting to worry. It wasn't that his attention to the new visitor was so odd, it was the fact that he just kept staring at him as though the child could answer all the questions of life if he'd simply wake up.
Damn… why couldn't it have just been Hitomi? Merle pouted, eyes casting back to the little form on the bed. The pillows and sheets nearly swallowed him completely, but the messy hair was clear above the cotton. He looked uncannily like Van had as a small child, and it would have been endearing, or even fun to tease the young King for having a love child, if the situation weren't so dire. What kind of omen does this brat bring?
That was probably the question that held Van captured over the boy, so she knew better than to ask it. Actually, she knew better than to ask anything when Van had arrived not with an irritating sandy-haired girl, but a sleeping, dirt-covered, mini-Van in his arms. Van's look was exceedingly dark and Merle hadn't even voiced his name. She'd honestly been too frightened to. Not of Van per say, but from the determined look that reminded her that peace could crumble in an instant, and that instant could be embodied in that small slumbering being.
Van would have to send out notices to their allies, more specifically those who knew Hitomi and were unlikely to see this as a chance to recreate history in their favor. He knew it and she knew it, but the real question was if it would make a difference.
The child let out a soft huff and flopped in his sleep, thumb slipping from his lips to mutter. She knew Van wouldn't be able to hear, let alone understand, what the kid had said, but her ears picked up the sounds and she was pretty certain he was calling out for his mother. The movements made Van twitch and he stepped back a bit, blinking out of whatever thoughts he'd been immersed in. It was now or never.
"He smells like Hitomi." And you. She wanted to add but the levity wasn't right and of course the kid smelled like Van, the king had carried him all the way here. Van wouldn't particularly care for the joke either, so she kept it simple. "You know, Hitomi mentioned once how she had a little brother..." She trailed off when Van didn't even look her way.
"He was older than this eight years ago."
Yeah, she already knew that as well. Merle sighed, "Maybe he's new. Like, adopted or a late child or something." Now she was simply throwing about hopeful ideas. She would certainly adopt a child that looked like that, but then again she was biased. She liked to think that Hitomi would be as well, but from what she understood of Hitomi's world, women married later in life and didn't always have children, so that made it impossible for Hitomi to have adopted him. Maybe she was just grasping at straws and all people from the Mystic Moon smelled that way, but she liked to think that her nose was better than that. The kid smelled as though he'd had close contact with the girl, so he had to be related somehow. It was the how that was most concerning though.
"Maybe Hitomi could—"
"Enough Merle." Van hadn't raised his voice, he didn't have to. The steely and hard undercurrent to his tone said enough and for a moment she was shocked, then she got mad.
"I'm just trying to help Lord Van, and the fact that he smells like Hitomi makes me sure he's related to her. You need to know why and how he got here, and the most obvious way to get those facts is to ask the source!" Her voice had raised and her tail bristled. She was no longer the thirteen-year-old kitten that followed him all over Gaea. Sure she loved him and cared about him, but she was old enough now to know when he was intentionally being stubborn and irritable, and she was no longer too timid to kick him for it.
"How exactly am I supposed to do that Merle?" Now, he pointedly looked at her and then the child before dragging her from the room when their angered voices made the kid whimper and roll over. Van's reluctance to wake the child only made her think that he was avoiding the issue all together.
What in all of Gaea happened between Hitomi and him to make him act this way? Merle was becoming more than concerned now but stayed silent until the door had closed blocking them from the sleeping occupant of Van's room. That was another issue, why had he put that grubby little thing in his bed? There were plenty of rooms aside from his own, but no, Van decided that the kid should rest in his royal bed.
"Hitomi and I haven't spoken in seven years, I have no idea where she is on the Mystic Moon, nor how to get to her."
"—But you got her last time! Besides you have her pendant, it can find her!"
His hands gripped her shoulders and he lightly, gently and very at odds with his angry tone, shook her. "It doesn't work that way. I can't reach her unless we are both thinking of each other, and she hasn't needed me—" Van cut himself short, face a shocked hurt expression and she was reminded of just how young Van still was. He was still just a young man, a young man who had suffered far too much and had not yet come to terms with how to deal with his emotions.
A young man in love and unable to reach her.
There was a term from some of the greater tragedies that came to her mind then, and made her relent, understanding, perhaps, for the first time how much her two friends had lost. Star-crossed lovers. That's what they are.
Van, released her, hands sliding from her slowly as he stared beyond her completely, that vulnerable expression still emblazoned across his face.
"Van…"
"My Lord." The small voice from behind broke the moment and stalled her comforting hand from making contact with him. Like a switch, the boy was buried under the weight of the king, and when Van turned to face the pageboy, no trace was left of his insecurity.
"Yes, what is the problem?" Van assumed often, and sadly enough, he was often right, that anytime he was called there was some sort of unrest.
The small boy, no older than fourteen, straightened up then, "The Elder's are concerned by the unexpected arrival and wish to speak with you right away."
Of course they would.
"Tell them I am on my way."
The boy nodded and quickly bowed before making his way back to the fearful, smelly, and stupid elders. Merle held no affection for the old coots who usually caused more havoc than was necessary and would probably turn Van grey before his time.
"Merle…" Van still had his back to her, and from the slight slump in his shoulders she could tell he was uncertain on how to address his emotional fax pas. She took pity on him and let the moment go. He had enough to deal with as it was, and it wasn't right of her to but in and make it worse.
"You want me to keep watch over him?" Even though Van wasn't looking, she gestured to the closed door out of habit. He was quiet a moment before, very quietly, on the edge of her very perceptive hearing she heard him whisper:
"Yes, please."
"Of course." Merle replied just as quietly before moving to open the door. She paused long enough to watch Van collect himself once more and move down the hallway, and frowned. Why was it always so hard for him?
Moving up to the child's side, she looked directly down at him for the first time, and couldn't stop herself from smiling and running her hand through the unruly black tangles. He really did look like a very young Van, and it calmed her a bit, but swift upon its heels was the imploring question she wished she had the answer to. "Hitomi… where are you?"
XX
He was running. Angry and upset, he continued to run past shadowed buildings and dancing darkness. The warped scenery wasn't frightening at all, though it represented danger at every turn and he knew he wasn't supposed to be outside alone; especially at night, but he was just too mad to care.
How could she? How could she do such a thing after all she had said? It simply didn't make any sense to him and it hurt to think that she had been lying. His feet were sore, he'd left his shoes behind but that didn't matter either because he just had to escape. He had to get back there and find his father. He could stop this, he could make it all better again, and he had to.
It was a promise.
You don't break promises.
He slows down and now he's at the place where all the stories began. It's dark and there are two balls of light in the sky. Two moons, one a glowing blue, the other a pale bone-white. Mother had been shocked by his ability to see the blue moon, he never knew why she had been shocked, just that she was. It was silly, how could one not see the big blue circle in the sky? But mother had told him that most people were not able to see it, that that it made him special.
As if he wasn't already special enough.
He didn't let her know it, but he didn't like being different, didn't like not being able to tell the other kids the awesome things he could do, couldn't share what he really wanted to in Show and Tell, and didn't like lying about his name. He had held to her promises and stories hoping that when they finally went home, when Father came to get them, he wouldn't have to be different anymore, or at the very least not be alone in his differences. It had been his secret wish, and he'd scattered it across every star he saw and yet, now it was being taken away.
By him.
He turned to look up at that moon, the home he desperately wanted to go to and threw his fist into the air, demanding, commanding, it to hear his plea and answer it. His scream echoed on the wind, his words indistinct to his ears but clear in his mind. By the honor that made him his father's son, he ordered the moon to take him home, to take him to his father, to help him fix this horrid mistake.
There is a cry, and that familiar voice calling his name. It's instinctual to turn, and he's crying and hurt because, 'how could you lie to me?' and then there is light.
It's around him, blinding him and his mother is screaming and he's floating. Now he's scared and he didn't mean it, he didn't mean it Mommy, please, please help, stop the light from taking me away! His mother is jumping for him, eyes wide with fear—he'd never known her to be afraid of anything and it makes him even more frightened and then, he's on that grassy hill next to his tree.
The wind is warm, but heavy, and the sound of crying is prominent. Except this time, the disembodied voice was recognizable to him, and sent him running once more. The grass cushioned his abused feet and the damp quality of the soil soaked into his socks.
"Mommy! Mommy, I'm sorry!" he called out, stumbling and tripping toward the edge of the cliff and the faded image of his mother appeared in the sky, like the holograms the Power Rangers saw sometimes. She was kneeling down, arms curled around her tummy like she had a very bad ache, and she was rocking back and forth. Her tears made his own eyes water and he shook his head reaching out to her, calling with everything he had. "I'm sorry! I'm sorry! I didn't mean it Mommy! I take it back! I take it back!"
He felt sick that he had made his mommy, his strong, and undefeatable mother, cry. "He's gone… he left me too… oh god, please, Van bring him back! Bring him… give him… back!" His mother crumpled forward just as his toes curled around the edge of the cliff, and he teetered on it.
A solid, large hand clamped down on his shoulder and pulled him back. "No, you can't go there right now Anil."
"Mommy! Mommy!" He screamed, struggling against the restraining hand. His smaller fingers pulled at the larger ones but they wouldn't let him go. He tried scratching and pulling but still, nothing. The other hand came down and an arm encircled his waist, tugging him back into a warm embrace. Blue hair tickled his cheek and fluttered beside his head as the larger man's head angled beside his own, whispering to him just as the image changed before him. "She can't hear you Anil, you cannot reach her from here."
"No…" He whimpered his lower lip trembling and pouting out extravagantly. "No! I need to… I didn't mean to make her cry!" He shouted, turning from the image of his broken mother and that man who was attempting to calm her down. He felt bad for leaving her alone with the man, wasn't it his duty to protect her from such things while Daddy was away making the world safe? How could he have failed her so much?
He hid in Folken's soft blue shirt sobbing incoherently. His hands gripped the shirt until his fingers tingled and lost feeling, still he choked on his tears and pain and the sick feeling in his gut that just wouldn't go away. All the while the man simply held him, rubbing his back and humming a melody he'd only ever heard here.
He was unsure how long he cried for but he was tired and just laying against the bigger person when he became aware of smaller hands rubbing his back as well, and the fact that his mother's crying had faded away completely.
"Don't cry. Its okay, we're here." The soft spoken words made him sniffle and moving his head a bit he was able to see the one soft brown eye and green eye belonging to Ni. Her straight, sandy colored hair reminded him of his mother's and it pulled his lower lip down further. She titled her head and reached out to pat his face. "No, its okay, everything will be okay, Folken said so. Didn't you Folken?" Ni enquired looking up at his current captor.
"Yes, Ni is right, Anil. Remember, this is an important mission that only you can complete."
"But, I made mama cry!" He shouted into the cloth now soaked with both his tears and snot. Folken just hugged him closer and nodded not bothering to deny the truth.
"That is true, but you can't just stop now. You did this for her didn't you?"
Anil didn't want to answer, but reluctantly nodded his head once.
"She'll forgive you, she loves you more than anything, and when you bring your father home to her, everything will be fine."
"Promise?" He asked, his voice weak and desperate for reassurance. Folken didn't get to answer when there was a sudden weight on his back and tiny arms looping around his middle to squeeze tight.
"Folken never lies." The stronger of his two playmates assured, and her long dark curls flew over his shoulder to stick to his wet cheeks, and he knew that if he turned her full lips would be pulled down in her perpetual pout, and her brown eyes would be daring him to disagree with her. "You should know better, Ani."
Anil nodded slowly, his throat tight and he barely managed the, "Thank you, Va." The little girl remained silent, merely returning his nod, the movement was felt through his shirt and then there was another weight as Ni joined the group hug.
"You just have to believe in it, Anil. Remember?" Ni said her voice a little creepy in its dispassionate dissonance but nonetheless comforting with its logic.
"Mama's good-luck saying."
"Um-hmm." Ni replied, holding him just as tightly as Va did and he felt much better.
Folken chuckled then and shifted a bit. "Well, now that we are all in agreement, perhaps it is time for you to wake up." He wiggled causing the girl's to laugh and cling tighter forcing Folken to work to get them off. It forced Anil to smile a bit, and he rubbed at his cheeks to rid them of his lingering tears when the girl's were finally done using Folken as a human Jungle Gym. "What do you think?"
Anil looked down at his ruined socks and chewed a bit on his lower lip in indecision. What if he was lost, what if he was alone? It was safer here, where Folken, Ni, and Va waited for him, and he was reluctant to leave. As if knowing this, Folken kneeled back down and chucked his chin gently as Anil released his lip from between teeth.
"You know, someone is waiting to meet you."
Anil jerked his head up to stare in awe at the man, his hope nearly strangling him. "Is… is it him?" He whispered, and those brown eyes smiled at him just as the mouth broke into a wide grin. His nod made Anil so excited he wiggled in place, bouncing on his toes. "He'll fix everything!" He shouted with a faith unmatched and spun to see his two playmates unsurprised to see them smiling at him and clapping in agreement.
Folken stood back up, scooping him into his arms and lifting him high into the air. Not even Uncle Amano lifted him this high. The man laughed and settled him against the broad chest and stepped away from the tree and down the hill. Both girls called out their goodbyes and well wishes as the colors blurred and faded until he was back in the darkness, just him and Folken.
"Yes, he will make everything better, so you best hurry to tell him, Vayu." (1)
Anil turned curiously to Folken at the nickname. His mother was the only one who called him that, and it was only ever said when she was in her most clingy, and coddling moods, or when she was most upset about something. Not him though, no. She always said his full name when she was angry with him, but 'Vayu' was reserved for special occasions.
Not understanding how Folken could know their private name, he canted his head to the side and began to ask, "Hey, how do you—"
"Hush now, its time to wake up." Folken smoothly stalled, and Anil realized that his eyelids were growing heavy and the darkness was casting Folken in shades of grey and he was fading fast.
"You'll tell me next time?" He asked around a yawn, resting his head on Folken shoulder. He felt a brief nod, and as everything faded away and he began to become aware of soft bed sheets that didn't smell like the Tide his mother usually washed their laundry with, he heard Folken's reply, "Good luck, my nephew."
Anil woke up.
XX
Twelfth Day of the Ninth Month
Seventh Year of CarusFatum
XX
"Please open the door Celena." Allen de Schezar entreated, forehead pressed to the wood partition that lead to the only restroom aboard the Crusade, and wished to all the holy entities he knew of for his headache to dissipate. Hopefully it would take Celena's current behavior with it and he could survive this with his sanity intact.
The door vibrated and bounced against his abused head, when the girl obviously kicked it in response. He bit back a curse and rubbed his temple turning to lean against the door. He was willing to bet Shaerezade that these temper tantrums Celena was currently expressing had something to do with Dilandau, he just couldn't prove it. He thought it was clearly obvious that the little fire-obsessed bastard was inciting these moments of disrespect and insanity, why else would his sweet, even-tempered sister kick the door he was leaning against after locking herself inside all because he wouldn't let her play with Natal. The poor owl hardly stuck around anymore, not that he could really blame the night fowl after Celena accidently pulled out a few feathers when petting him. He also blamed the evil split personality for that blunder, but Millerna insisted that this was natural.
Supposedly, Celena had been 'sleeping' for most of the time she'd been away, and so, mentally she was still just a child; still only seven years and interested in everything and spoiled to the core. Normal for a child, just not for a fifteen-year-old. Well, now she was turning twenty-two and mentally she was just now hitting fifteen. The dreaded teenage years had only just begun. Millerna assured him that she wouldn't exactly hit puberty seeing as how Dilandau had lived through the true maturation of their shared body, but the obstinate belief that she was old enough to do whatever she wanted was still very much present in her. It made one hell of a concoction when mixed with her childish need to rebel.
He was swiftly learning that the adorable little sister he remembered was nothing short of a stubborn, willful, hellion underneath, and he had to believe it was the silver-haired boy deep in her sub-consciousness that made her thus, or face the fact that Celena had created Dilandau as a means to survive, and that that maliciousness was somehow apart of her, always had been. Yet another fact Millerna had brought up which he was trying to deny.
"Celena, this is childish. Open the door."
"Get stuffed!"
Allen's jaw dropped at the crude remark, shocked but also not by its use. He would personally make sure that Ridan was stuck on bathroom clean-up for the next month for teaching her that one. And he knew it had been no other than Ridan seeing as how that had been his newest favorite saying fort the last month and a half. "Celena, if you don't open this door in the next three seconds—"
"Sir." Gaddas interrupted his threat and pulled his attention around to his first. Gaddas winced from his look and gave a commiserating smile knowing his pain.
Just a week before the poor man had had to pull the girl out of the middle of a bar fight when she had insisted that she was old enough to do what she wanted without an escort. The gruff man was still limping a bit from that particular beating. "Yes, Gaddas, what is it?"
The brunette held up a slip of folded paper, the crest of Asturia clearly embossed on its front. Allen raised an eyebrow, carefully taking it from his friend and opening it.
"Guess King Fanelia felt it necessary to tell the King and Queen about this problem as well." Gaddas commented with a shrug, referring to the letter which had arrived two days ago from Fanelia, informing him of the new development in regards to Fanelia and requesting his presence for an important meeting regarding a visitor from the Mystic Moon.
Even though he had lost out in regards to Hitomi, Van was still jealous and wouldn't have invited him along, much less send a personal missive, unless it was to announce their marriage, and that too would be after the fact. Van, Allen decided, would never fully grow up in that regard. He was still the selfish and jealous King in love with a stubborn and willful seer from the Mystic Moon.
A perfect match if he ever saw one.
The paper made a soft crinkling sound as it unfurled and he frowned as he read the clean and curt message there in.
Allen,
On the evening of the tenth day of the ninth month, a blue beam of light descended to the border of Fanelia's capitol and Arzas. A small boy, no older than five was left behind. It is uncertain what this could mean and Van has requested our assistance. I believe he would have written to you as well, to save time I hope you could come to collect Millerna and head directly to Fanelia from Pallas as the tail winds should be in your favor.
Dryden Fassa de Asturia
Curt, to the point, and more than slightly demanding. Allen, re-read it and couldn't help wondering why Van hadn't simply contacted Hitomi in regards to this. She would be best equipped to find out who the child was and if there was something they should be wary of. Then again, when it came to those two, nothing was ever easy, nor did they ever do things logically.
"That bad?" Gaddas asked when he sighed heavily folding the parchment back up and tucked it into his breast pocket.
"Looks like we are making a detour to Pallas." He turned solemn eyes to the other man and Gaddas mirrored his severity and hissed out a small curse. "Precisely. Ready the crew and set the ship for sail, we leave within the hour."
"Right." Gaddas turned then and Allen caught the tail end of his grumble, "The boys aren't going to like this."
That was an understatement if he'd ever heard one.
"What's going on?" the soft question came from behind him and he was just glad to see that Celena had opened the door to poke her head out. Her hair had grown out again, but she had taken to wearing it in a tight braid that he felt too fierce for her features. Celena had given him a few explicates in return for voicing that thought and so he had refrained for doing so again. He also had learned from earlier experience not to attempt and hold the door open when she did open it.
His fingers still smarted from that particular argument.
"We have had a change of plans. We are needed in Fanelia and must head to Pallas post haste." He waited seeing if she would put it all together on her own. When she just blinked at him, her eyes becoming soft with concern and worry, it was clear she hadn't.
"Is Van okay?"
Allen frowned again reminded of why he was attempting to coax her from the bathroom and into the castle. Celena seemed to have developed a crush on Van Fanel the last time they had stopped by to visit. Van had handled it the way he always did; ignoring it completely. Allen was grateful for his silence, but Celena had taken it to be a personal challenge and had been asking all manner of irritating questions about the young king. This had been a minor reason for his hope of Hitomi's return. If Van were to marry his sister would have no choice but to hunt elsewhere.
It wasn't that he had anything against Van, but he was not sure how good a relationship would be for either of them. Dilandau had already shown a penchant for obsession where the dark-haired boy was concerned, Celena's growing interest made him wonder if it was residual, or if Dilandau had been obsessed because of his Sister's apparent preferences for dark hair and moody personalities.
Gods he hoped that was a passing phase.
"King Fanel is fine, Celena." Allen made sure to stress Van's proper title to try and impress the improperness her casual address had intoned. She of course just rolled her blue eyes at him.
He chose to believe that was Dilandau's doing.
"Then what's the rush?" perceptive as ever she edged a little further out of the room, and Allen attempted to look relaxed and flippant, hoping to coax her fully from the room to grab her and haul her irritating behind off the ship and into the care of their current visitor, Princess Erise Aston who had arrived with the royal missive from Pallas and had been summarily coaxed to stay and watch over Celena for the duration of their trip.
"Something has come up and he requests our presence as soon as possible."
Her bland expression clearly stated that she didn't believe a word of it, and Allen internally cursed her cleverness.
"So, what is the emergency?" She questioned with a weight to her words that dared him to try and lie to her again. Her blue eyes backed up her tone and narrowed at him in challenge, and he tried not to see red in place of blue in that glare.
"You are not going." Forget being diplomatic, the brat was simply not falling for the bait and he wasn't going to continue to dig his grave. Her glare became sullen and her full lip poked out in a pout that he still found adorable. "You can do that all you want Celena, you will still be staying with Princess Erise and that is all I will say on this topic."
Her lips pursed and her shoulders straightened as she pulled herself up to her full height. A side effect and plus to her anger, was that she usually stepped into his personal space when making a debate on her side, and at that point he could man-handle her off of the Crusade and into the safety of the castle. Preparing for just that, as well as the screams and well placed hits he would receive for his concern, Allen waited.
Her cheeks flushed, eyes sparkling with intelligence and determination that he could never fault her for, Celena sucked in a large breath of air…
Here we go.
… and slammed the bathroom door shut with a resounding 'thwap'.
Allen blinked for several moments before realizing his critical error. Celena was aware that they were departing immediately, that was what had started this whole fight to begin with, and now she had just secured her place on the ship.
She could and would stay there all night.
She was irritatingly used to skipping meals and he didn't really want to know why that was. This only made it even more inevitable that she would not be leaving that room until she was certain that they were far enough from the Castle that a return trip would not only be detrimental but pointless as well. She was, at times, far too logical and wise to battle tactics than he was comfortable with. Another relic from Dilandau no doubt.
"Celena, open this door, now." His command was unsurprisingly met with silence. "I mean it young lady, you are not coming with us to Fanelia and that is final. Now, act like the adult we all believe you to be and come out, or I will make you."
More uncooperative silence.
Allen glared at the door when nothing happened and that was how Gaddas found him sometime later. "Uh, sir, preparations have been made we are ready to launch at your command…" He trailed off, head turning to the door, and his lips twitched a bit. "… uh, should I send a messenger to Princess Erise informing her that she is no longer required to stay?"
"No." Allen snapped and were Gaddes a lesser man he would have jumped. "Celena will be leaving this vessel before our departure."
Gaddas looked back and forth between him and the door several times before replying. "Uh-huh." He didn't sound convinced.
"Do you doubt me?" He questioned in no mood to deal with the disbelief he heard.
"Nope. I just know the little miss well enough to know this will not be going completely to your favor." And with that, Gaddas walked off. Allen knew without question that he was going to give the order to move out as well as to send a missive to Erise pertaining to the change in plans.
His head collided with the door with a resounding 'thunk', and the light sting helped to take his mind from the fact that he had been thwarted by a twenty-two-year-old pre-teen. He hoped this phase would pass quickly, but knew that it would never be quick enough.
Needless to say that when the Crusade set off, the bathroom was still occupied much to Allen's discontent and the rest of the crew's amusement.
XX
A.N. Well here is chapter 2 hope you all enjoyed. A few things, before we go into nicknames and everything else, Celena. I was tired of reading stories where she's this dimure and pleasant shy child. She isn't, sure the scientists changed her destiny and created Dilandau from her, but they had to be somewhat similar for the transition to work. Dilandau is a split personality created to do what Celena can't. He can kill their captors and escape, he can be strong and lead people and he can be angry and defensive. For a child who was so horribly abused, Dilandau was the perfect mix of her strong brother with vindictive and cruel edges; an ideal hero from a spoiled child's perspective.
That said, I do not believe that Celena would be so perfect, and so I took the bratty teen image and mixed it with sweet Celena and Dilandau. Hope you can forgive me, but since she has very limited screen time I figure I can mold her to whatever I need without going too OOC.
(1) As for Anil's name and the nickname 'Vayu' this will be addressed in later chapters but for those who need a reason for it here is is: Vayu is the Hindu god of air/wind/etc. Anil is another name for Vayu, both are masculine but if you were to pronounce 'Anil' in Japanese it would sound remarkably like their pronunciation of the English word, 'angel'. So, Anil is Van's son and Van was Hitomi's 'angel'… yeah.
Anil's Name:
www. behindthename name/anil
(Remove the Spaces)