Some of you might remember my story "Carved in Stone". I was experimenting at the time and tried to write an angsty and angry story. I felt it didn't age well and I recently pulled it.
That said, there was a part of that story I was pleased with: when Raven had therapy. So I'm taking that part of the story from Carved and making a new story with it. I hope it turns out better.
-(-)-
It had come out of nowhere, and it was unexpected.
The Titans were battling a villain who called himself "The Neanderthal". While he looked comical in his caveman outfit, the guy packed a punch. Unfortunately for him the Titans were no longer Teens, but were now young adults. To his dismay they easily defeated him. Nightwing had new and improved bird-a-rangs, Starfire's star bolts were more powerful than ever, plus her aim had vastly improved. Cyborg had upgraded to the Maxx-9 processor. Changeling was now able to split into two animals at once and Raven's powers had been fortified to unbelievable levels.
All in all, it had been an uneventful mission, except for one thing: Garfield Logan, Raven's boyfriend of almost 3 years did the unexpected. It happened as they gathered after the mission in the common room. Curiously, only Raven was surprised by what happened:
With no warning, Gar dropped to a knee and produced a ring: "Raven, will you marry me?"
All eyes were on the sorceress, who froze.
"Raven?" Gar, still on bent knee, asked in a concerned tone.
The other three suddenly had worried looks on their faces. Raven could feel her pulse rate increase. This was utterly unexpected. Gar had never even hinted at wanting to move to the next level.
"Friend Raven, are you OK?"
Raven snapped out of her funk. She saw the look on Gar's face. He looked as if he were about to panic. Raven could feel his terror. He was no doubt fearing he had made a mistake, jumping the gun. She also knew that if she declined his proposal that they would be finished as a couple. While she wasn't quite ready to say yes, losing him was not an option. She was basically painted into a corner. She took a deep breath.
"I will." She replied in her gravelly monotone as she extended her hand so he could slip the engagement ring on her finger.
Her friends and her newly betrothed cheered. Raven looked at the ring on her finger. While her face did not manifest it, she was wondering if she had made a mistake.
"Titans, dinner is on me." Nightwing announced. "Can everyone be ready in an hour?"
The others quickly agreed.
"Can we make that two hours? I need to meditate … this was … a surprise." Raven asked. Everyone quickly agreed. She gave Gar a chaste kiss. "Sorry, you know, I need to process this ... alone."
"Sure thing, Rave. I want you be sparkling when we all go out to celebrate."
"Yeah, right, sparkling. I'll do my best."
Raven phased into the floor and disappeared.
-(-)-
Raven paced through her room, mumbling and gesturing to herself. She lost track of time and would have gone on all night had it not been for the knock on the door. She stopped her pacing. She was so unnerved that she couldn't sense who it was at the door, though she expected it would be Gar.
"It's open, come in."
Much to her surprise, it was Cyborg.
"Hey little lady, did the green bean surprise you?"
She sighed. "Yeah, you could say that. Please, come in."
He entered the room.
"Are you OK?" He asked.
"I'm … I'm not sure." She said as she stared at the floor.
"What do you mean? Are you saying that you don't really want to marry BB?"
"No, it's not that. I do want to marry him. I'm just not sure I'm ready."
"I see … you wanna talk about it?"
Raven raised her head to look at him. Cyborg was the big brother she never had. He always looked out for her, while not looking like he was looking out for her.
"I don't think I can. This is very private."
"I understand … I know I haven't told you about who I really am. I think it's way overdue."
"Cyborg, you don't have to do this."
"Actually, I think I do. Raven, do you remember when you met me for the first time?"
"Of course I do, how could I forget that day … you told me that I fit in just fine."
"Yeah, I did, and it was true. Raven, did you know I grew up in Metropolis?"
She shook her head.
"Funny, isn't it? We've lived together and fought evil together for a really long time. Yet you don't know who I am, do you?" He asked.
"All I know is that you had an accident."
"Yeah … I did … long story short: my dad was a scientist at STAR Labs, he was working on opening interdimensional portals."
"He was?"
"Yeah … I kinda figured it would hit close home for you. Anyway, my mom and I were in the lab when he tried to open one for the first time, and it worked. It was a big deal and my dad was on cloud 9, that is until a monster came through the portal. It killed my mom and maimed me before my dad could stop it and send it back … I don't need to say this, but that was the worst day of my life"
"Cyborg … I'm sorry … I always assumed that you were in some kind of automobile accident."
"Yeah, well, I wasn't. And there was nothing that could be done to save my mom and I looked like I was a goner too. My dad worked day and night to design all these prosthetics. They saved my life, but …"
"You didn't want to live anymore."
"Exactly, I felt like I was a monster. When I first woke up, after being fitted, I screamed. I was horrified, I didn't recognize myself. Anyway, my dad took me home, but … it wasn't working. I had to drop out of high school, and sports too … no one would want to play against me, how could they? It would have been unfair."
"So what did you do?"
"My dad rented a condo for me here in Jump. He had a college friend, a dude named Steve Dunn. Steve's a psycho-therapist. I saw him for a few years, even after the team was formed, but I began my therapy a whole year before we met. I know back when you met me I still seemed to have some hang ups, I mean, I wore those fleece outfits to cover myself up. But believe it or not, I had made a ton of progress by the time we met."
Raven took his hand. "Cyborg, I had no idea. I'm so sorry."
"It's OK, little lady, no biggie. And you can call me Vic."
"That's your name, your real name?"
"Yup, my name is Victor Stone."
Raven bowed her head. "Victor, thank you. Thank you for trusting me with that secret. Does Gar …"
"Nope, he doesn't know, only you do."
"Thank you … Victor. So, are you suggesting I meet this therapist of yours?"
The tin man smiled as he handed a business card to her. It read: "Stephen Dunn, Counselor" and it enumerated his degrees and certifications along with his phone number.
"Steve is a good guy, Raven. I highly recommend him."
Raven cast a wary eye at the card. "You think I should see a therapist?"
"I think you should … Raven … you want your marriage to succeed, right?"
She gulped. "This isn't going to be easy … baring my soul to a stranger."
"I know, I've been there. But believe me, it'll be worth it."
"So, you think this therapist will really be able to help me?"
"If there are things you can't tell me, then yeah, you should see him. And don't worry; he will keep whatever you tell him in the strictest confidence."
She looked back at the business card. "How long will this take? I know Gar; he isn't going to want to wait years for the wedding."
"I can't say. But I'm sure you will make some progress before the wedding, and you can still go see him even after you're married."
"You mean Gar will know that I'm seeing a shrink?"
Vic chuckled. "I think he should know, if I know him, he'll give you your privacy."
"Really?"
"Sure, why not? He's talks to me about you all the time."
"He does? What does he tell you?" She asked in dark tone.
He shrugged. "Oh, you know, mushy stuff. Like how much he's in love with you."
"I see … wait … does he talk about our … uh … sex life?"
"No, he doesn't. But you can talk with Steve about it, if you want to do that."
Raven shook her head as she stared at the business card.
"Talk about my intimate love life with a complete stranger?"
"Raven, that's optional. And you won't actually talk about sex with him. You might talk with him about how you feel about your love life. Now, if you want to discuss your sex life, you can talk to me about that if you prefer." He smirked.
"Fat chance of that." She said as she rolled her eyes. She looked at the card again. "Well, I guess trying won't hurt. I guess I'll make an appointment."
-(-)-
About an hour later …
It was almost time to head out for the celebration dinner Nightwing promised the team, though Raven had all but forgotten about that. She was sitting on the edge of her bed, with her mobile phone in her hand and the business card in the other. She had been sitting like that for over fifteen minutes. Every time she resolved to call the therapist's office, she chickened out. Just as she was working up the mettle to call, there was a knock on the door. She leapt to her feet, stuffing the business card into her jeweled belt.
"Come in." She called out.
The door opened, revealing Gar's figure. He entered the room and gave her an odd look.
"How are you? I mean, you haven't said anything since this afternoon."
"I know … I've been processing all this. You know you caught me off guard. Would it have hurt to give me a heads up on what you were planning to do?"
He sat next to her. "I thought proposals were supposed to be a surprise."
"I suppose you're right." She murmured. "But I wasn't expecting you to take us to the next level."
He wrapped an arm around her. "Is something wrong? You aren't having second thoughts, are you?"
She raised her hand and looked at the engagement ring. She hadn't even taken a good look at it yet. The stone was a dazzling green emerald.
"Do you like the ring?" He asked.
"I do, very much."
"So what's wrong? I can tell you're out of it."
She fidgeted, playing with the new ring on her finger.
"I'm concerned."
"About what?"
She sighed. "I'm not sure that I'm ready to take this step."
His ears drooped. "So you do want to call it off."
She shook her head. "No, absolutely not."
"OK, I'm confused."
She sighed again. "Gar, you know me, you know I'm pretty messed up."
"If by that you mean you're not perfect …"
"Cyborg was here earlier." She interrupted him.
"He was?"
"Yeah … he also noticed that something wasn't right with me."
"And?"
She pulled the business card out of her belt and showed it to him.
"Oh yeah, Chrome Dome told me about this dude. He swears by him. So, he thinks you should see him?"
She nodded. "Gar, I only want to do this because I don't want our marriage to fail."
He didn't respond right away.
"Gar?"
"I guess that makes sense. But, shouldn't maybe we talk about those things ourselves?"
"We will. Maybe if I talk about them with a therapist first, maybe it will be easier for us to talk about them."
He scratched his chin. "OK, why not? But can you at least give me a hint about what'll you talk with him?"
She tapped her fingers together. "There are a few topics … OK … here's one … I want to talk with him about Jill."
Gar tensed up when Raven said the name of his old girlfriend. He didn't say anything, even though this was an issue they had discussed in the past. An issue he thought they had already put behind them.
"Gar, I know you've told me everything about her, and I know you were very intimate before she broke up with you. But … I have a hang up about that. It's not you, it's me, and I need to take care of that before I walk down the aisle with you. There's also my father, I know it sounds ridiculous, but I still have issues with him. And there are other things, things I'm not ready to discuss with you; but I know that I need to discuss with you."
"Raven, if you want to we can, I don't know, defer …"
"No, I'm not putting your proposal on hold. I know if I do that, I could lose you, and that's not going to happen."
He shrugged. "OK, sounds good to me. So, when are you going to see this 'Steve Dunn'?"
"I haven't called yet. Every time I try I panic and hang up before his phone even rings."
"Would it help if I were with you when you call him?"
She nodded. "Sure"
"Then go for it."
"So you're OK if I see a shrink?"
He smiled. "Hey, I don't want to lose you either."
"Oh" she said. He saw her phone on her bed and handed it to her. She nodded and dialed the number. It rang twice before a female voice answered.
"Meadow Creek Medical Arts. How can I help you?"
"Uh … yes … uh, I'd like to make an appointment to see Dr. Dunn."
"Have you seen Dr. Dunn before?"
"Uh, no."
"OK, let me check his calendar … uh huh … oh! He had a cancellation; can you see him tomorrow at 10:30?"
"Tomorrow?"
"Is that too soon for you? His next open appointment is next week."
Raven felt her mouth go dry. She looked up and saw Gar looking at her. She remembered why she was doing this.
"Tomorrow is fine."
"OK, your name and a number where I can reach you."
"Uh, Rachel Roth. My number is 888-555-1212."
"Insurance?"
"Uh … none."
"Doctor Dunn charges $150 per session. Payment is due at the time of service."
"That won't be a problem. Do you prefer cash?"
"A debit or credit card is preferable."
"I can do that."
"Very good. Please arrive 20 minutes early to fill out a questionnaire. See you tomorrow."
"Thank you, Good bye."
Raven pressed the end call button in the screen and relaxed. She looked at Gar.
"Azar, I hope this isn't a mistake."
"Hey, if it feels wrong, you don't have to see him again. Anyway, I came to get you because it's time for the dinner."
They stood up, hugged and after sharing a kiss, they headed out the door.
-(-)-
The next day …
A stray dog was busy sniffing an overflowing trash can in an alley when it suddenly heard a low pitch hum. At first it growled and confronted whatever was making the strange sound, which came from the dark shadows in the alley. The hum faded away and the snarling mutt found itself staring at four ominous looking and glowing red eyes. The pooch paid heed to its instincts and turning tail it ran away, yelping and whining as it escaped. The red eyes vanished into the shadows and all was quiet again.
A brunette who wore her hair in a bob slowly emerged from the alley. She was modestly dressed in a loose fitting pair of jeans and a long sleeved blouse. She looked unremarkable, except for the very piercing look in her brown eyes. She cautiously looked around to see if anyone besides the dog noticed her arrival. Once she verified that she was alone she walked down the sidewalk and stopped in front of a building with a sign in front that proclaimed its name: "Meadow Creek Medical Arts." The receptionist gave her a clipboard with a questionnaire, which she was instructed to complete and hand over to Dr. Dunn.
She quickly completed the questionnaire, after which she stopped in front of the building's directory and studied it before summoning the elevator. While she waited for it a young man entered the lobby and also studied the directory as well. Most, if not all the practitioners in the building were psychologists and therapists. With a chime the elevator arrived and she quickly boarded it. The doors began to close, but stopped with a jerk as he inserted his hand to stop the doors. The young woman had already pressed the button for the tenth floor and the interloper reached for and pressed the '9' button. He smiled at the young woman.
"So, are you new here? I can't say that I've ever seen you before."
Raven made eye contact, but did not reply.
"It's OK, I don't bite."
More silence. He chuckled half heartedly.
"I know what you're thinking, that I'm some crazy guy who's come to see his shrink. But hey, you're here too, right? I mean, that doesn't mean you're crazy, right?"
The indicator above the door was showing they were at the sixth floor. He tried his smile again.
"You look familiar for some reason … do you ever go to Sartre Café?"
She continued to ignore him.
"I'm sure that's where I saw you. I could never forget a pretty face like yours."
Before he could continue prattling the lift stopped and the doors opened. He walked out of the elevator and paused, turning around, smiling even more. "How about we go there after our sessions? My treat!"
The woman did not respond and pushed the 'Close' button. The elevator's doors slid shut and it resumed its upward journey. Raven frowned. She recognized the young man. He was a punk the Titans busted for shoplifting. Nightwing later told her the 'Derek' had been sentenced to see a therapist in lieu of jail time, even though he had a rap sheet as long as his arm.
"Not in a million years … Derek. I'd rather have sex with Plasmus than have coffee with you, you scumbag." She muttered under her breath.
The elevator stopped at the tenth floor and the still disguised Raven emerged. She quietly walked down the hall and stopped in front of suite 1030. The sign next to the door simply read "Stephen Dunn". Raven stared at the doorknob, hesitating to open it. She gingerly grabbed it, as if it was hot branding iron ready to burn her. She twisted it open and entered the small and mercifully empty waiting room. According to the clock on the wall she was about five minutes early for her appointment. There was a sign in clipboard hanging on the wall, which she took. Under the patient name column she wrote 'Rachel Roth'. She hung the clipboard back in its place and sat down to wait.
Raven suddenly felt as if her stomach was full of butterflies and was about to burst. Her instinct was to bolt, to run away. How could talking with a complete stranger about her most intimate and personal problems possibly do any good? It was ridiculous to even contemplate.
Yet Victor swore by him. He also told her that his initial instinct was the same, that it would be a waste of time.
Time to buck up, Raven … I have to do this for my marriage.
She stared at the clock on the wall, which slowly ticked the seconds away. Within moments her right knee began to bounce up and down and she had to force it to stop with her hands. She closed her eyes and began to recite her mantra.
"Azarath, Metrion, Zinthos …"
She had repeated it few dozen times when she heard a door creak. She opened her eyes and saw a tall, thin and balding man with a friendly smile approach her.
"You must be Rachel."
"I am." She replied as she got up and extended her hand to him. He gave her a polite yet friendly handshake.
"I'm Stephen Dunn. I'm glad you could make it … come in … can I get you anything? Some water perhaps? I also have herbal tea."
"Yes, some tea would be nice."
They entered his office. It was minimally furnished. There were two single easy chairs and a small couch. A miniature waterfall in a corner babbled peacefully.
"Have a seat, the tea will only take a moment … I have a quick boil machine"
In just seconds Dunn returned with a steaming cup of tea that was still brewing and placed it before her.
"I hope it's to your liking."
Raven picked it up and sniffed it. It was chamomile tea, her favorite.
"Thank you … it smells lovely."
Dunn sat down on one of the chairs.
"So, Rachel … what would you like to talk about?"
Raven felt every muscle in her body tense up.
Come on, Raven; it's time to take your medicine, no matter how bitter it is.
"I'm engaged to be married and I'm concerned that I'm not ready."
"I see … well, you are being proactive, which is a good sign."
She sighed. "Thanks."
"And how do you feel about getting married?"
"Well, obviously not good, otherwise I wouldn't be here, would I?"
"I see. So why do you think he wants to marry you?"
"I really don't know ... I mean, I'm a hot mess."
"What is he like?"
"He's nice. Very nice."
"Could you tell me more about him? How did you meet?"
"I guess you could say that we met at work."
"Did you hit it off right away?"
She shook her head. "No, not really."
"How long have you known him?"
"About ten years."
"Tell me more about yourself, Rachel. What kind of job do you have?"
"It's … hard to explain."
"Is it something secret? Do you work for the government?"
"No, not really … it's just not something I'm ready to share right now."
"OK … forgive me if I seem nosy, I just want to get to know you better … do you have any friends?"
"Not many, but they really are friends and not acquaintances."
"Were they supportive of your engagement?"
She nodded. "Very much so."
Dunn shifted in his chair.
"So you're concerned that you're not ready for this marriage."
"Yeah, pretty much."
"Why?"
"Where do I start?"
"How about at the beginning? When you first met Gar, what was that like?"
"He was fighting with someone, and I helped stop the fight."
"By 'fight' I presume you mean it was an argument, and not a fist fight."
Raven fell silent. This wasn't going to work … the subterfuge.
"Rachel?"
"I apologize, Stephen, I haven't been truly honest with you."
"That's OK … do you feel like you can now?"
Raven balled her fists. Dunn noticed that she was wearing a rather bulky ring on each hand. She slammed the rings together and they made a buzzing sound. With an astonished look on his face he watched as the brunette on the couch transformed into Raven of the Titans. Raven made eye contact with him.
"Now you know who I really am."
The therapist nodded. "Yes, and your engagement with Changeling, it was in the news … and I fully understand your need for complete privacy on this matter. In fact, I would strongly suggest that you continue to use your disguise when visiting. The media would have a field day if they knew you were here."
"Thank you. I will."
"Well … I think I have a good idea of how you met Changeling, I mean, it was on the news when Starfire first fell from the sky and all of you defeated the Gordanians … Raven … before we continue, what is your objective? What is it that you wish to accomplish?"
"I have two objectives … the first one is to become a better person."
"I see … you mentioned a second goal."
She hesitated before answering. "I don't want my marriage to fail because of my many issues. Gar is the best thing that ever happened to me and I don't want to lose him."
"Both are good objectives." He smiled at her.
Just then the clock on the wall chimed.
"Don't tell me … we're out of time." She chuckled.
"I'm afraid so." He handed her a book. "I have some reading material for you."
The book was titled "Relationships and Why They Fail".
"Thank you, I should be done with it by next week."
"See you next week, Raven … or should I say Rachel?"
Raven smiled as she stood up. She slammed the rings together and once again her brunette alter ego reappeared.
"See you next week, Stephen."