Four Years Chapter 13, an escaflowne fanfic

A.N. Here is chapter 13. One more chapter before they are reunited. I hope it will be worth the wait, and that it won't feel too contrived. I am trying to get character development and give answers to certain things without beating everyone over the head with a stick. I really hope this story continues to be enjoyable and the characters remain in character as much as possible.

Disclaimer: I do not own The Vision of Escaflowne nor any of the characters therein. This is purely non-profit, fanmade fun.

"Have courage for the great sorrows of life and patience for the small ones; and when you have laboriously accomplished your daily task, go to sleep in peace."

-Victor Hugo

Chapter 13: Sleep in Peace

Twenty-Eighth Day of the Ninth Month

Last Year of Lotica

Gaia

"My, that looks painful. What managed to get close enough to bite you?" Dryden's voice was filled with quiet amusement that made Van tense with unease.

"?" He scowled up at the king-turned-merchant, attempting to be nonchalant and played ignorant. This only caused the annoying man to laugh and adjust his glasses.

"There is no need for the glare, King Fanelia. I'm sure whatever beast it was received adequate punishment."

There was an innuendo in there that Van absolutely refused to acknowledge. He turned away, looking over the document with the newest list of supplies that had arrived for the rebuild. "All of this is covered by Zaibach?"

"War reparations. As we discussed before." Dryden nodded, his easy-going smile irritating. "So long as Fanelia can recover its crops and production in the next two years there will be no further costs."

Van nodded, spotting the winter wheat seeds that he had specifically requested. There was little chance of a good harvest but if he got the wheat planted in time the recovery of the fields could begin that much faster (1). His plan was to plant both winter wheat and dormant seed some spring wheat in the south to see how much could be harvested in the summer. It would be a good way to test the soil and damage.

"I hear that Hitomi has provided a reliable plan for the recovery effort."

"Where did you hear that?" He asked a little more sharply than he'd intended. He'd only heard of Hitomi's involvement thanks to their nightly lessons. She had brought up her conversation with Emos and had asked what had been wrong with her suggestion. He'd been impressed by her words and the logic behind it. He had told her as much and the conversation had moved on. It wasn't until the next meeting he had with Emos and Idus that Emos attempted to implement the suggestion as his own as a precaution if the other families could not be located before the next month.

He'd agreed and casually pointed out that Hitomi had suggested the same thing. Emos had not reacted nor did he correct himself and admit that he had been given the idea from Hitomi. Van had let it slide as it didn't actually matter and once Hitomi was made queen Emos would be unable to do anything like it in the future. Yet, here was Dryden somehow in command of this information.

"Oh, you know, here and there. Word travels fast." Dryden winked and it was clear he would not easily give up his informant.

"…" He shook his head and returned to the list, marking off the items and breathed out a relieved sigh when he found a list of names of yet more citizens that had been found, which included a few names that he was certain were family members to some of the children in the orphanage.

"I must say, the progress you all have accomplished is impressive." Dryden stated looking around. Van nodded smiling faintly as he too appraised the work accomplished. It was looking more like it should and less like a burnt out shell. People were smiling and in good spirits and most had permanent structures to live in now. Emos, Idus and their sons and other family members that were to take temporary control of the Fiefs were returning in the next few days with supplies along with those who could work the fields to start the planting. It was all coming together and it was taking less time than he had feared.

Of course, there was still a lot more to do, and the work was only just starting, but it was still far better than it had been when Folken had taken Hitomi here to the ruins that had seemed like bare bones and nothing more.

"I'd say you will be well prepared for the winter." Dryden smiled and somehow, Van got the impression that there was pride in that smile. It was oddly satisfying. Dryden had been there on his side through the war, he had seen Fanelia both before the war and directly after, being a merchant and and all, and he had been a part of the restoration as well. The shared pride of seeing Fanelia restored meant something.

"Yes." Van returned, his expression hopefully mirroring Dryden's own. The conversation turned to the delivery and changes that were being made outside of Fanelia. Nothing of note was discussed until Dryden was preparing to leave and Van was turning to attend a final meeting with Emos and Idus.

"By the way. I heard that Allen may be requesting to stay here in Fanelia to help with the rebuild."

"Allen?" Van asked, confused as to why the knight would be making the request at this time.

"Yes. It seems he wants to help train up your knights."

"…" Van wasn't certain how he felt about that. He respected Allen as a knight but he also had this competitive streak with him that made him almost dislike the man. Dryden, as always seemed to pick up on that as he laughed.

"I honestly think it's more of an excuse. He wants to keep his sister safe, and right now, the place that would be the most soothing would be Fanelia."

Van frowned not entirely certain of that. Celena had been the one to burn the place to the ground, or at least her altered self had. Wouldn't Fanelia be more stressful for her? Or wouldn't it risk awakening the memories of Dilandau?

"Think on it. It might be for the best." Dryden waved over his shoulder as he left.

The rest of the day passed in a blur of activity and planning. He hadn't been able to think of the topic again until that night as he and Hitomi crawled into bed together. They were both too tired to do much but hold each other and share the comfort of each other's body heat and presence. Hitomi told him about her day and what she had learned and then asked him about his.

An odd discomfort settled in. He found he was reluctant to talk about Allen, almost as much as he had been reluctant to have him here in Fanelia. Van frowned, wondering where this hesitance came from and then, a bitter memory rose; two figures illuminated by the sun after a rain storm atop a bridge, kissing.

… I don't want them to be close.

Van felt bitter and rather sick at his own pettiness as he realized that despite all he had shared with Hitomi, after what they had accomplished together, and the future they were working toward, he still felt threatened by Allen. Worse, some corner of his heart still did not fully trust that she would not leave him. Had she not agreed to marry Allen before?

Sure, nothing had been officially announced, and neither spoke of it again after her return from the Mystic Moon, but still, that fact haunted him, and it caused his grip on her to tighten.

"Van? What happened?" HItomi sounded frightened and his guilt doubled. Van turned to hide his face in her neck, pressing a kiss there in atonement as he forced himself to speak; to trust Hitomi.

"… Allen wishes to assist with the training of the Knights."

"… Oh." Hitomi sounded confused, her arms wrapping around him, her hands soothing over his back in a loving caress. "Is there a reason you don't want that?"

"…"

"I mean, I understand if you want to train your Knights yourself…" Hitomi began and then muttered under her breath, "… you are certainly more than talented enough to do so…" her words were soothing to his ego and he smiled, pressing another kiss to her neck. "… and I don't know if there is a problem with having a Knight from Asturia train those who will guard Fanelia… but, It might not be a bad idea."

"… you think I should." It was a statement of fact, and he tried not to let his fear and self-doubt color his words.

"Well, you are already so busy. While I know you can and will train the Knights, if you have someone you can trust, who you know can train the men in your stead with your ideology and morals, then why not utilize that?"

Hitomi's words made sense, and were refreshingly logical and without any sentimentality which did wonders for his nerves. Van relaxed, his hands running over her sides gently.

"You think I'm over-worked?"

"I know you are over-worked Van." Hitomi said and he didn't have to see her face to know she rolled her eyes. "… how could you not be?"

"Hitomi…"

"Van, it is your call. They are your Knights. You asked what I thought. I want to help you. If it would give you any help and let you relax, then I will support it. However, if all it will do is make more stress then I don't want to do that."

"… thank you." He barely managed to get the words out, and before Hitomi could say anything further, he pressed his lips to her own.

The kiss was filled with emotion, but was tender and unhurried. He asked for forgiveness with the kiss, a forgiveness for his doubt which she couldn't have known about. He still felt absolved when she returned his kiss happily, fingers carding through his hair and tracing the sides of his face.

Their languid kisses continued until the fatigue of the day became too much and they both relinquished to it with the shared warmth between them. His sleep was deep and restoring and when he woke the next morning, he had already decided on what he would do when Allen's official request came.

Sixteenth Day of the Ninth Month

Seventh Year of Carusfatum

Gaea

"If you don't get Mommy back now, she'll marry that mean old man and then we'll never be a family!"

Allen came up from wall where he leaned as though forced forward, the words and childish conviction making a cold dread take root in the pit of his stomach. Echoes of his past bubbled up in the corners of his mind and his eyes instinctually sought out Van's reaction. Of course, the King of Fanelia—his friend, Van—had his back turned and he could not assess his response.

He registered the shocked look upon Millerna's face, and the fact that both her hands had lifted to her mouth at the child's exclamation, but his attention remained focused upon the stiff form of Van knelt before his son. Allen closed his eyes imagining the pain those words would have caused.

Knowing how much it hurt.

So… this was what sent him here.

Allen closed his eyes and breathed slowly pushing back his own bitter memories of letters, apologies that came far too late, and the shock of seeing his face on a child he could never call his. It had nearly destroyed him, losing Marlene and Chid. He'd been driven half mad with the feelings he'd been unable to express, to rid himself of; to accept.

Van had always been emotional, quick to anger and react. Of course, he had been young and in the middle of a war which could not be written off, but Allen was fairly certain that was a part of Van's character before those circumstances, and all the rest merely magnified it.

This can't be the whole story.

Perhaps it was naïve hope, but Allen just couldn't accept that Hitomi would do the same thing that Marlene had. He was not a young boy and knew that women were not always so innocent nor was the world simple, but he just could not accept Anil's words as complete truth.

He'd wanted to be angry with Van; he had been in fact. He still felt that Van was not merely a victim in this situation, that there was plenty he could have done, and having lived through it himself, he knew there was more that could have been done. However, he also, now more than ever, related to him and if for no other reason than hope, he wanted to believe that Van and Hitomi could return from this.

But now, the question is, will he want to?

After overcoming all of that, rebuilding Fanelia, saying goodbye to the woman he loved, he finds out he has a son, he sacrifices his pride to beg for help to correct things, to make her his wife, to make their child legitimate and now he finds out she has moved on?

That kind of pain cut deep, and never fully healed. Van was capable of enduring much more than the average person, but as the silence continued, he began to wonder if this was what would break him. Allen pulled himself from his own thoughts to move forward. Van likely wouldn't appreciate his help, but he couldn't just stand there either.

"Daddy… daddy, please… please, go get Mommy… you promised…"

Anil was still crying and Van seemed to be unable to react. Before he could finish even taking a crossing the distance however, Van let out a long, measured breath, his hands lifted to settle on both of his son's tiny shoulders and when the King of Fanelia spoke, his voice was remarkably calm.

Allen froze as surely as Anil did.

"Do you trust me?"

"!" Anil made a sound and twitched at the question, his large hazel colored eyes glassy with his tears. The two stared at each other for several seconds before Anil sniffled and dragged his arm roughly across his eyes, his little head nodding as he struggled to compose himself.

"… yes, Daddy."

Allen couldn't see Van's face but he assumed it must have been comforting as Anil leaned into Van, expecting and receiving the comfort he sought.

"I gave you my word." Van said, and the weight behind that statement was far heavier than Van's child would ever understand, evoking memories from the past. Allen let out a breath he hadn't realized he'd been holding and returned to lean against the wall, surprised and impressed with Van's response to all of this.

Well, look at that.

At some point, the kid had grown into man, and Allen was both relieved and proud to be considered a friend.

"I will go to get mommy." Van confirmed, the notion already a forgone conclusion, "But there are things that must be done first, remember?"

"Uh-huh." Anil nodded but his lower lip was pouting out and wobbling again at the gentle chastisement and one of Van's hands rose to rub the top of Anil's head.

"We are not giving up. We are just talking about all the things that need to be considered. This was why I told you to stay with Merle."

"I'm sorry…" More tears welled in those eyes. Van gently pulled the small boy into his arms and gently comforted him. From the corner of his eye, Allen could see Chid flinch at the movement. The Duke's expression was complicated; brows pinched in confusion. Having seen the relationship between the previous duke and Chid when Chid had been about the same age, Allen could understand.

The duke had been cold; distant and firm. Allen could not determine if the man had loved Chid or not, though he wanted to believe he had if only for Chid's sake, but that love had been nothing like whatwas being displayed kind of affection, if Chid had ever received it from his "father", had likely been behind closed doors only. This kind of emotional display would not have been tolerated. Allen felt for his biological son and crossed his arms to keep himself from reacting to the almost jealous look Chid cast Anil as Van stood with the child in his arms and returned to his seat behind the desk, sitting with the boy upon his lap as though there was nothing wrong with this scenario.

Van was a different man from the father Chid had known, and Allen knew he'd be a far different father than Allen would have been if he'd been given the chance.

"I apologize." Van began facing them once more.

"… no, it's fine." Millerna began, recovering with an awkward smile, her eyes looking at the form currently hiding in Van's arms and chest. It was clear she desperately wanted to ask what Anil had meant, but Van was not giving any of them the opportunity to do so. Her expression softened after a moment and turned warm. "I will stay to help Van. Let's get things moving to prepare for the future issues and get a timeline we can work with."

"Thank you." Van nodded. He was silent a moment as he ran a few mental calculations. "I will need to speak with my council today. If you give me today, I can have things settled and I could leave as early as tomorrow."

Anil stiffened and clung tighter to his father. Van's hand lifted and smoothed over Anil's head and back with an ease that Allen found himself somewhat envious of. They both had sons they had known nothing about at the time of their birth, and yet, Van was able to bridge the gap and he…

Allen looked toward Chid who was also watching the interaction with a stern expression.

That does not matter.

"A week." Van said suddenly. "It will take at least a week to get the new quotas and calculations from the fiefs. If you could spare me a week, I will be forever indebted, Queen Millerna."

"It's the least I could do." Millerna offered a smile. "Let's proceed first with speaking to your council."

"If it is no more than that, I too can remain." Chid spoke up, his expression soft and neutral once more. "It may be easier if there are more hands here. Besides we all arrived on the Crusade. I would hate to inconvenience anyone by making multiple trips.

"Well, I guess I should let the crew know." Allen said, trying to break the mood that had settled into the room when Van managed a small smile at the other two and gave a grateful nod.

"There should be plenty of rooms for them to stay here—" Van began.

"Ha! No offense, but you know my men. They would feel far more comfortable at the local tavern and inn, if not their own cabin on the Crusade."

"…" Van made no comment likely because he was right and the young King well knew it.

"What about Celena?" Millerna asked and Allen winced as he saw Van stiffen and shoot him a look that was both equal parts betrayal and fear.

So he hasn't let go of the incident…

Allen couldn't blame him really. He himself would rather pretend it had never happened, but the situation being what it was, they were just going to have to deal.

"Lady Celena is here?" Van managed to ask with only a slight tenseness to his tone. It caused Millerna to raise her eyebrows but nothing more.

"Yes. It's quite the funny story actually—"

"She locked herself in the bathroom. We were on a tight schedule. I'm sorry." Allen interrupted, not wanting to listen to the story again.

Van sighed. "I will have a room prepared for her… you will keep an eye on her?"

"Of course." Allen said and that was the end of that conversation. He could tell Millerna had so many questions regarding that but was given no opportunity to ask.

"Right. Then I will get the council gathered, you can all get settled and we will meet for dinner to reassess. If all goes as planned, Anil and I will go to retrieve Hitomi tomorrow."

"You shouldn't go alone." Chid spoke up. "We don't know much of Hitomi's world aside from what she had shared before. While you are skilled in the sword arts, I think it would be foolish to take both yourself and your heir without someone to back you up."

"Chid is right, Van. While, Hitomi said it was a peaceful place, one can never be too careful."

Van was frowning and Anil had sat up to look around at the group warily. "Why would daddy need a guard? Earth isn't that scary…" Anil said quietly.

"It's just a security measure." Allen said with a smile.

"When I was there before, only Hitomi could understand me." Van said a frown marring his face. "I do not think that will have changed. Bringing someone else along who can't understand or be understood would likely only be more of a hindrance."

"Wait, so, you couldn't understand them either?"

"No. I could not understand anything except for what Hitomi said." Van admitted, his expression tight.

"How will you communicate if you are not taken directly to Hitomi?" Chid asked, but Allen already knew that answer lay in the small boy Van was holding.

"If need be, Anil could be our translator."

"… that's…" Millerna began but trailed off as there was no other alternative.

"Could you wish for the ability to communicate?" Chid asked, pointing to Hitomi's pendant that was around Van's neck.

"I… I don't know. I've never tried to have a wish granted." Van returned, picking up the gem, face considering.

"Regardless, I do not think it wise for you to go alone." Allen said, arms crossed.

"Who could I bring—?"

"Then why don't we have Allen come, daddy?" Anil spoke up and the whole room grew quiet. "He's a Knight and he's a friend. Mommy would be happy to see him!"

The innocent statement made most in the room wince. After the emotional blow of his earlier words, these ones brought up sore memories better left forgotten. Allen glanced at Van from the corner of his eye and saw the tight thin line of his lips and sighed.

"… I don't think that—"

"Fine." Van snapped and Allen startled turning to stare at him arms falling slack at his sides.

"What?"

"Do you not want to?" Van asked, eyes narrowed and Allen had the impression Van was daring him to back out. Whatever he felt or was thinking about this situation, he had clearly made up his mind to bring Allen along, and he was not going to back down.

This can only be bad…

"I need to keep an eye on Celena."

"I can watch her, Allen." Millerna said with a bright smile. "She is more than old enough to be safe in Chid's and my care."

Millerna how can you be so naïve…

Allen frowned, finding himself trapped.

"What's the matter? Are you scared?" Anil asked innocently. "It's okay. It's really not that scary. Promise."

Van's lips quirked ever so slightly, and Allen let out a sigh. "Right. We will leave tomorrow then. I will go and inform the crew and get Celena settled."

Van nodded his way and Allen turned to leave the room. As he stepped out and into the empty hall he couldn't help but sigh once more. Things just couldn't go smoothly for those two and he had the sinking feeling that going along with Van would not do either of them any favors. However, with Van's emotions being what they were, it would likely be more problematic to let him go alone, especially if, as Anil had said, Hitomi had indeed, moved on.

What will you do then, Van?

Allen was haunted by the conviction in Van's tone from their earlier talk; his unspoken intention of bringing Hitomi back and not letting go of Anil. He hoped that Anil had merely misunderstood the situation, and if not...

Jeture, guide them…

"How can we be certain that this will come to pass?" Idus asked, his nervousness clear in his voice and actions and Van closed his eyes to keep from snarling at the man. They had been at this for the last three hours. He still had not eaten, he needed them to agree to take a recount of what had already been stored and harvested and calculate how much they would need to keep to survive a year or so of poor yields. Then they would need to see how much they could send, and where it would be needed most, to hopefully bring aid and relief to the other countries relying on their supply, and his head was throbbing from his internal agony Anil's words had brought.

"We cannot take the risk of it being true and doing nothing." He grit out, his chest feeling hollow.

"Lord Van is correct." Bora said with a soft sigh. "If nothing comes of this prediction, then we have excess supply to deliver in the following year. It is not as poor an outcome as doing nothing and having no supply."

"But doing this will make our shipment late." Idus continued. "… is there a need to make problems where there are none?"

"Where there is smoke, there is fire." Gaho said, his head shaking. "Daedalus is already suffering crop loss. Regardless if it is as bad as predicted or not, we will still have a smaller supply there and need to provide bigger relief aid there next year."

"Though it pains me, I must agree." Emos said, his face twisted. "We cannot forget we have only just recovered. Ignoring this now could be a killing blow."

Idus crumbled and put a hand to his head. "We already have the grain ready to ship, redoing all of this now—"

"Is still better than starving!" Trent snapped, clearly as put out and tired of this as Van was.

Van closed his eyes again, blocking out the complaints about time constraints and how long it will take as a wave of concern came from outside of himself. Hitomi had been concerned ever since Anil had said that she was going to get married.

He was not blocking her, so she felt what he had at that confession, except she had no frame of reference and as such she had been reaching out to try and discerned what had changed from that morning. He would have tried to block the anger, hurt and fear from her, but he didn't feel right about cutting her off again. He also, didn't have the time or focus to give her anything more than what he was feeling and some forced "I'm alright" feelings that didn't seem to do much.

Did Anil just misunderstand? Or have you moved on?

Van winced, his emotions causing him to feel almost nauseated and he pushed it all to the back of his mind as best as he could and tried not to react to the constant thread of worry coming from the other end of the connection.

"I am not complaining without reason. There are deadlines to be met and the fiefs are not close." Idus said, more calmly than before but still clearly upset and flustered. "We cannot do all the calculations individually, convene to discuss the findings, return to implement the changes and still have the stock ready for shipment before those deadlines."

"This is why we are having the meeting today." Van interrupted before anymore useless arguing could be had. "Emos, Idus, you two know what your fiefs generally produce as well as how much is generally consumed each year. I need those numbers to base a general estimate to send to the other fiefs so that they know how much to withhold to ensure each fief will survive a famine year." Van paused and set his hand upon several documents he had pulled prior to this meeting. "I have gone over what we consume here in the capitol and have our numbers as well as the stock generally left over in the granaries here. It won't be perfect, but between the three of these I believe we will have a workable average."

There would of course be differences as the feifs were all unique in size, population and weather, but overall, the average would be a good starting point. Emos and Idus nodded after a few moments of silent contemplation and finally pulled over some blank sheets to draw up their averages for him. He then turned his attention to Bora and Sorna, both of whom had been rather quiet during most of this discussion.

"Do either of you have any advice or requirements? What will Arzas require?"

The two were quick to respond and were concise and thankfully brisk with their answers. It made things a lot easier to handle.

"If we begin to ration now, Arzas will be fine with anywhere between a half to a quarter of the usual shipment for the year. We do not consume as much grain as others however, so our numbers will not help any other calculations you may have." Bora said.

"Noted."

"I believe reaching out and contacting the other Kingdoms as soon as possible with this information would also go a long way to aiding these efforts. Many keep the granaries at least somewhat filled throughout the decent years and sell the surplus first. With this information they too can begin rationing. The caravan will spread the news as well." Sorna added, her expression calm. Van wondered if the nomads had known of this weather phenomenon before and had merely never said anything. He had no proof and wouldn't dare ask, but he was curious.

It would explain her calm if nothing else…

"Dryden is already aware and likely began rationing sometime back. I will send a missive to Zaibach immediately—"

"Is that wise?" Gaho, interrupted, brow pinched. "They might see this as an excuse to cut their supply." Gaho was a knight and warrior first and foremost, and while it seemed extreme, he was not wrong. Zaibach had taken the brunt of reparations and was still trying to recover. It was not out of the realm of possibility that they might take a victim's mentality and believe Fanelia was lying to further suppress them.

"… perhaps a warning from both Asturia and Fanelia would alleviate that." Van murmured.

"I doubt it. Asturia is an ally of Fanelia. If this is how they see it, they will merely believe both kingdoms are in on it together."

Van groaned, hand pushing through his hair.

"Then, what do we do? Chose to let Zaibach suffer and then truly be the only Kingdom not informed?" Van groused, annoyed with this whole debacle and the 'damned-if-you-do-damed-if-you-don't set up.

"To keep this from them would be even worse." Sorna shook her head. "Their lands are barren. Not much grows there. If they are ill-prepared and not forewarned, they will see this only as a direct attack against them."

Gaho didn't seem to agree with her statement but he didn't say anything further as her logic was not incorrect either. Trent however picked up the charge.

"Admitting that we may face problems next year though, is just as foolish as leaving our gates open and unguarded. What if they view our good intentions with scorn or worse, use this as a second chance to attack?"

Van rather stopped listening as another wave of worry and concern bombarded him and his teeth grit against the soft sensations that were not his own. Hitomi's worry was almost painful at the moment. He needed to focus but her unintended nagging was throwing his mind into a disarray and bring up feelings and emotions that had nothing to do with the current crisis Fanelia was facing.

His eyes closed and his most bitter memory returned, sharp and clear as the day he'd experienced it. He could still feel the cold cling of his clothes, could smell the water on the stone walk and the bridge, could hear the slosh of water beside him and he could see Hitomi and Allen perfectly centered upon the bridge, Allen's ridiculous hair a curtain around their faces. His hand fisted as a rush of pain, jealousy and anger burned him up inside, and swiftly following that was the emotional equivalent of, 'What's wrong?' from Hitomi.

"Enough!"

Silence rang out around him following his shout and Van froze, only now aware that he had yelled aloud. He felt contrite at the shocked expressions around him and wondered what he had missed in their discussions. He cleared his throat and, in a much calmer tone instructed them of what they would be doing.

"I need these new estimates in one week. That should not impact our shipments much if we can keep to that." He paused and saw the tight expressions on both Emos and Idus, but neither man complained which told him that such a schedule was doable even if it was a little tight. He had faith that these two men and their heirs would accomplish this goal as would the other family members slotted to the other fiefs. "With that taken care of, there is one other thing that must be addressed."

All eyes returned to him. He knew they were waiting for further explanation on Anil and why he had summoned his closest war allies so suddenly. He hadn't exactly been forth coming with the information and he still felt uncomfortable speaking of it. He needed to speak with Hitomi but he couldn't do that until he made it to the Mystic Moon.

"Queen Millerna of Asturia and Duke Chid of Freid will be remaining here for the time being. In the case of an emergency, they have my permission and authority to assist and make decisions."

"They… Lord Van, are you planning to leave Fanelia? Now?" Trent was the first to speak up, and his confusion and obvious discomfort was mirrored in the faces of the rest of his council. Emos looked more angry than concerned however, and Bora had a look that suggested he had already figured out his intentions.

"Yes. There is no other way. Once these numbers are calculated things will be far too busy and I will not be able to leave."

"Where are you going?" It was rather rude and presumptuous in the wording, but he let it slide with only a narrowed eyed glare as he calmly reached into his desk and pulled out the documents Dryden had been kind enough to falsify for him.

"I will be going to retrieve Hitomi."

There was silence for a moment, before the expected explosion of opinions began. Predictably, Emos and Idus were against his departure. Their reasons spanning from the dangers of the "cursed" place, to how he could not bring one of those "cursed" beings back. Trent and Gaho were in agreement about the dangers and were busy trying to talk him out of going or at the very least, bringing a guard. Sorna was watching this all with a placid look on her face, eyes more focused upon the document he had pulled out and was now opening with the last of his patience when someone shouted;

"What are you trying to do to Fanelia?!"

The implications of that statement were enough that he stood up hard enough to send his chair toppling and he slammed his hand down upon the document, irritation and anger consuming all else as he stared down his council members and commanded in a voice that was only just shy of a bellow.

"I will be retrieving my wife!" Silence returned as all eyes were brought to the document under his hand. He lifted his hand out of the way so that the official seal, date and signature could be seen. "This is not up for discussion. I have put Fanelia above all else, I will no longer wait."

Emos seemed to be struggling to control his expression as he looked down at the paperwork that was clearly aged as well as the date and the broken wax seal. He might be suspicious but he would find no fault in this document and he would not be willing to tarnish the reputation of Fanelia simply to prove himself correct.

Idus was openly gaping before he looked to Emos and then sat in his chair looking utterly baffled.

Gaho looked at the paper and then gave him a formal bow to show his support and consent to his actions as one knight to another.

Trent let out a sound that was very close to a shocked laugh and then followed Gaho's example though he spoke as he made the action. "Please consider bringing along a knight, Lord Van. We do not know what to expect."

"Sir Allen Schezar will be accompanying myself and Anil."

"You are taking your heir?" Sorna questioned even as Emos flinched.

"Yes. He knows where his mother is and will be our only guide."

"…" Sorna nodded but did not seem comfortable with this, though she did not interfere further.

"Then we shall pray to Escaflowne to protect you and young Lord Anil on your journey. May your quest be worthwhile and our queen returned." Bora's words seemed to ring out with a finality that none argued with. Each council member gave a bow and finally allowed the meeting to draw to a close.

Van sighed and rubbed his temples as the last of the conversations wrapped up and one by one they left his office. Emos offered to take the documents to be properly filed, but Van disallowed him, saying he'd like to place them personally. It wasn't that he didn't trust the man, he simply wanted to delay this in case things went wrong.

Finally alone, Van took several moments to simply sit back and breathe. He breathed in slowly, and exhaled just as slowly. Out of habit he pictured a swinging pendant. The same one he still wore around his neck. It tracked back and forth with each inhale and exhale and slowly, his emotions settled until he could finally make out the worried flutter that was Hitomi on the edges of his mind.

She was worried, almost to the point of fear though he could only guess as to what had caused that, though he was certain his emotions and lack of response played a hand in it. He forced himself to focus and he sent reassurance her way. He couldn't tell her in words that he was enraged at his council, hurt by words their son had spoken, and fearful that he had lost her, so he tried to curb her worry until he could.

Are you still mine?

The thought slipped through his mind as he felt her frantic worry ease off and the intensity fade into a background hum, something he assumed meant she was no longer focusing on their link. Taking it as a good sign, he returned to his tasks ahead and pulled out blank paper, ink and his wax and seal. He needed to send out a missive to Dryden and one to Zaibach. Though it could be a poor choice tactically, he hoped this show of goodwill and faith would continue to strengthen the peace they had managed to achieve and maintain these past seven years.

His head ached and he was already tired just looking down at the stark white paper and his day had only just begun. As he set the ink to paper and penned his letters, his mind wandered, wondering if he should risk a deeper connection with Hitomi. The last attempt had been detrimental and he did not wish to incapacitate himself again when time was already not on his side.

It's only one more day…

He frowned and paused too long, an ink blot marred the paper and Van found himself staring at the dark stain for a long time before pulling out a new sheet of paper to start again.

Anil was lonely despite the fact that he was in the garden with four other people, three of which his mother had personally told him about in her stories. He would have been excited to be in the area with them just hours ago, but it was different now. Millerna, Allen, Chid and some girl named Celena were in the garden with him keeping him company because his father was very busy, and before that they were saying things that had made him think they weren't going to get his mother.

I don't understand. Why can't we just go get mommy?

"Lord Anil, are you all right?" Millerna asked, her golden hair glinting in the sunlight. Back home there weren't many with naturally blonde hair and blue eyes and it was quite remarkable for him to see four of them directly before him. It was very pretty to look at.

"…" Anil nodded in response, using his stick to draw in the mud near the edge of the pond. He wanted to see his father, but he understood that his daddy needed to finish his work if they were going to get his mother tomorrow.

"… you know, I knew your mother." The blonde woman tried again, her smile warm and kind. His mother had always said she was kind, and she had been right, but Anil still didn't feel much like talking. The awkward group had been together for a while now and Millerna and Allen had tried to talk to him several times now. He'd answered enough to be polite but that was all.

He wasn't trying to be mean or rude, he just didn't know what to feel or think around them. He'd been excited to see and meet Allen, he'd been happy to ask Allen come with them to get his mother, but now all he kept thinking about was the way the group had sounded just before he'd interrupted the meeting.

"… I know. You are princess Millerna." He mumbled.

"Oh! I haven't heard that title in a while." Millerna seemed pleased and she crouched closer to look at what he was drawing. "Does your mother talk about us often then?"

"She tells me bedtime stories." He said as a way of explanation.

"So, you grew up hearing all about us. Did she speak of your father?"

"Uh-huh. Mommy, told me his story all the time." Anil said with a smile, opening up slightly out of habit and pride. "She told me all about Fanelia and why Daddy had to stay here to rebuild."

"So she told you that." Chid said from the side, his smile soft. "Did you ever what to meet your father?"

"Yeah, but mommy said we had to be patient, that Daddy would come to get us."

"Oh?" Millerna seemed excited for some reason. "So, she knew he was coming?"

"Yeah. Daddy and mommy promised before she left. She said that he promised to come get us and we just had to be patient and wait for him."

"… you said something about your mother being taken away by someone else." Allen said quietly.

"…" Anil frowned and dug his stick into the mud. He didn't want to talk about that.

"Why did you think that would happen?"

Anil shrugged at Allen's question. "Dunno."

The adults shared a look between them but didn't question further.

"So, did your mother teach you how to come here?"

"No. Mommy didn't tell me how." He answered, still doodling not really paying attention to his audience despite being surrounded by so many people from the stories. "Folken did."

"F—folken?" Millerna sounded surprised, her voice quiet and almost whisper like, it was only then that Anil realized his mistake.

Uh-oh…

Anil's head came up sharply and he looked at the three adults surrounding him with his eyes wide and took in the surprised and confused expressions they each wore. He bit his lip and wondered how he could possibly avoid answering this. His mother had told him more than once that seeing things other people couldn't, or knowing things before they happened could make people scared. Kind of like his wings. When people were scared they did foolish things. She'd made him promise not to tell anyone else about what he saw and heard.

Folken had also asked him not to tell anyone, even his mother, about their visits, and he'd kept that promise until now. His stomach felt sour as he realized he had slipped up and it was in front of his parent's friends.

"Lord Anil… do you know who that is?" Millerna asked quietly.

Anil bit his lip eyes darting between the three blue stares. He didn't want to say anything at all, he shouldn't have said anything in the first place. Why had he spoken of Folken? He'd never slipped up before. Well, no, he'd drawn him when he made the family picture for his daddy, but he still hadn't said anything. He chewed his lip and wondered if he could change the topic entirely.

"It's okay, we know all about your mother's abilities." Millerna coaxed, and though she sounded and had been very kind, he still disliked how pushy she was being. "Have you spoken to your father about this?"

"… uhm…" He looked around for anything to change the subject. "Do you have salamanders here?" He asked suddenly, looking at the muck he had been drawing in.

"… uh… yes. Yes we do." Millerna sounded confused.

"Let's hunt for them! I loved looking for newts and salamanders back home!" He said excitedly. He didn't notice the confused look the adults shared.

"Your mother allowed you to hunt for—" Allen began to ask clearly concerned when Millerna cut him off (2).

"Anil, before that, can you please tell us how Folken showed you how to get here?"

"…" Anil frowned and squirmed. He'd hoped they would have followed his lead.

"Lord Anil?"

What do I do?

A shadow fell across him and he glanced up, expecting to see Millerna before him and was surprised to see the calm, rather blank face of the other lady.

"Celena?" Allen asked, his tone confused and wary. Why was he worried? The woman was quiet and not too expressive right now, but she had a calmness about her that Anil found comforting. The girl gave a small smile and took his hand into her own.

Slowly Anil returned a shy smile and then she leaned in and said, quietly, but loud enough to be heard. "Run."

"What? Celena—!" As Millerna approached, Celena turned and ran, pulling Anil along with her. Almost instantly a burst of happy excitement flooded through him and his smile turned into a grin as the three other adults gave chase.

Celena zipped and zagged through the trees like an expert and Anil guessed that was why she was wearing the leggings instead of a dress. She reminded him of his mother and was relieved to have found a friend. They soon found a hiding place among the bushes and crouched silently while the adults cried out their names and searched.

Anil had to cover his mouth with his hands to smother a laugh when he heard Allen letting out a curse word he had never heard before and the girl looked his way with a soft smile of her own. When the voices were further away, Celena sat on the dirt beside him and spoke.

"Sometimes, I see people that others can't." Anil's eyes widened and he gaped at the woman. Not even his mother could see the ghosts he did. He'd never met another person who could.

"… do you talk about it? You know… to them?" Anil gestured to where Allen, Millerna and Chid's voices could be heard.

Celena shook her head, eyes closing. Anil nodded in understanding.

"Do you know them? The one's you see?" He asked quietly.

Celena's brows pinched and she looked out into the trees around them. She seemed to be thinking very had. Anil didn't have the slightest clue on why she looked like that. He thought the question was very straight forward, but grown-ups usually tented to make things more complicated than they needed to be. She breathed in and out deeply once before answering him, and though the answer wasn't satisfying, the honesty in her words was good enough.

"… maybe. Once, long ago… but I do not know them now(3)."

Anil didn't understand but he didn't have to. He turned his gaze back to the surrounding brush They remained silent for a long while until Celena spoke up again.

"It's okay to run away when you don't want to talk." Celena smiled when he looked at her. It wasn't a wide smile, nor was it happy. It was a slight tipping of the corners of her mouth. It was very similar to how Sato-san had looked at him from time to time; like he, and now Celena, just knew.

"… okay."

Celena patted the top of his head and then stood up brushing off the dirt and grass before reaching out for his hand. She didn't have to say anything, he understood that she was telling him it was time to stop hiding. He took her hand and they exited the brush together.

They were spotted almost immediately by Allen. The man visibly sagged when he saw them and trotted up, face turning an interesting shade of pink-red with his anger as he stomped up, first gripping Celena's shoulders and looking her over before giving Anil the same treatment all the while lecturing them for their behavior.

"There you are! Do you have any idea how reckless that was?! You can't just run away like that! What if something had happened? Anil is the crown prince of Fanelia, Celena!" Allen continued in that way for a while, his tone angry, but Anil could see from his face how scared he had been. His mother had the same expression whenever he did something dangerous.

"Celena, do you understand me?" Allen asked, and despite it all, he sounded worried as he asked. Anil watched as Celena looked at her brother, face rather blank before tilting her head as though in confusion. Her reaction caused the knight to lower his head and press his hand to his forehead. When he did that, Celena glanced down at Anil and winked.

Anil started to snicker, hands lifting to cover his mouth as he realized that Celena, while faking her confusion had easily avoided the topic entirely.

She was sort of like a super hero.

Even after they rejoined Chid and Millerna and both he and Celena were soundly lectured, he continued to smile. He felt a little more comfortable in his skin and he had his friend to thank for that.

She was dreaming. She had to be, because she was standing before Plaktu—no, not Plaktu, the imposter that took his form—and he was accusing her of being a liar. This must be a dream because she often dreamt of this when she was anxious and fell asleep without any resolution. She couldn't recall what had made her anxious, as with dreams most of reality was wrapped up in cotton and a curtain of vague recollection, but she could recall that she had been.

Her mouth opened and she responded calmly, the words not what she wanted to say but what she had said then. They tumbled from her lips as inevitable as they had before, except this time her body may have been still and calm, but her heart beat wildly in fear and her chest ached with the desire to scream. She pointed to him, spoke of his life and his approaching death.

No… I don't want to see this… not again…

The liquid darkness rose to surround the imposter and he struggled uselessly, crying out at her and reaching out to grab her, dragging her into his position; into his death.

No! Van!

Her scream escaped and burned her throat but there was no sound. The darkness encased her, crushing her slowly, she felt the pressure, the popping of tendons and blood vessels, felt her organs constrict and rupture as the darkness relentlessly continued. Her bones snapped and splintered and still she couldn't scream out. Why?! Why wasn't her voice reaching him?

VAN!

There was a loud popping noise and then…

She was standing on a bridge. It was made of stone and the water falling from the sky like never ending tears soaked into her school uniform and clung to her skin in a chilling embrace. Her shoes and socks were soaked and still the rain fell. Her chest felt tight with tangled emotions and her stomach was twisted with anxiety; anxiety she had confused with another emotion.

Why… why am I here?

It was hard to understand why she was there, why Allen was before her, his hair wet and heavy around them, his hands a heavy burden upon her shoulders. He was far too close. His presence was suffocating and she felt trapped; caged. Her heart pounded, but it wasn't what it should have been.

Why? Why does it hurt?

Her thoughts and emotions were a gnarled mess and she couldn't figure out a name for the emotion that churned her insides, made her break out in a cold almost nauseated sweat and tremble while her lips burned from the brief contact that had just been made. The press of lips against her own had not been what she had expected. It was not what she had always thought a first kiss should feel like.

Her heart had pounded, but it felt too much like fear, there was no jolt of sensation, her lips did not become the focal point of her existence, and there was a distinct lack of heat. There was the body heat that radiated from his skin, sure, but it felt no different from when she kissed her mother and father's cheek. It was physical contact, but it was not special, it wasn't life altering; it was hollow.

… how disappointing.

Whatever had held her finally seemed to release her, the non-existent weight pulled and lifted from her and she felt a rush of cold infuse her as her anxiety became even more pronounced and with it came a sudden deep and soul crushing regret and humiliation.

Wrong. It's all so wrong!

She wanted to cry but she had no tears left to shed. She'd cried them on her walk here, where the rain could wash away the evidence and her confusion. She had been hurt by the words Van had—

Van!

Guilt crashed through her though she couldn't understand why and she turned her gaze away from Allen and back to where she had come. She wanted to run away again. She wanted to flee this bridge, this hollow kiss and disappointing experience and hide it away forever…

Van was standing just below.

Hitomi sucked in a breath, her stomach plummeting to her feet as a new cold seeped into her every cell. Van was there. He'd come after her in the rain. He was soaked, his wild hair was plastered to his cheeks, and those expressive brown eyes were large, rounded and filled with such pain she could not face them. Hitomi squeezed her eyes closed as Van turned away from her and ran off.

The rain had stopped and she could hear the footfalls as they receded, gaining momentum and speed as he ran away from her; wounded, betrayed. Hitomi didn't want the arm that wrapped around her, she actively wanted to run after Van to wipe away that expression he wore, to explain herself but she didn't even know what had happened. Besides, hadn't she run away because Van only wanted her abilities? He didn't actually want her, and why did that hurt so much?

Numbness settled in as Allen guided her close to his body and lead her away from the bridge. Each step felt as though she were actively walking into a bog. Her body became heavy with regret, her stomach boiled with tension and confused fear. She was walking into a sinking darkness that would slowly consume her and drag her under, crushing her under its weight; killing her and again her voice could not escape…

"Hitomi."

Van's voice echoed from somewhere but when she lifted her head she was standing in her kitchen. The florescent bulbs made a yellow tinge to the counters and the linoleum floor. The remnants of dinner were upon the table and the room was quiet. She stood once more facing a man; not the one she longed for, and his hands were carefully placed upon her shoulders. Again the weight of them felt wrong but she did not shrug them off.

Fumio…

Guilt crawled up her throat and she wanted to gag. He didn't deserve this. Didn't deserve to be settled for, but she was sad. She was lonely and scared, so very scared. She was alone, and he was kind. He cared about Anil and maybe she could learn to love him. It wasn't fair, it wasn't right of her but she just didn't have the heart to deny him again.

Fumio leaned close, his intention was clear, and she could easily turn her head away, push back, say no, except she didn't. He had said he cared for her and she wanted to be cared for. She felt abandoned and really, if she couldn't have what she wanted why should she deny herself a chance at a happy life even if she was settling? Her eyes closed and again she felt the press of lips upon her own. Her heart sank again at the lack of excitement. This kiss was lifeless, hollow, it was nothing like the kisses she had shared with Van.

Van… I miss you.

She pulled back first and then she heard the noise. Her head turned and her stomach dropped. What she saw was a morbid replay of a time before. Anil stood in the hall, his eyes large and round, his expression hurt and betrayed. Her stomach churned and she hated herself even before Anil started screaming. Before he called her a liar and turned to run from the house.

It hurt because it was true.

She was a liar. She had said she'd learned her lesson. She promised herself she would never betray her heart and yet she just had. Worse, she knew better and still did it.

I'm so horrible… Anil, my Vayu, I'm so sorry…

The tears flowed up, hot and horrible and Hitomi fell to her knees hands over her face as she choked on her self-resentment and tried to make sense of her pain; to make sense of her own actions.

"… why, Hitomi?"

Van's voice coiled around her, accusing and chastising her and she sobbed harder. She missed his voice, his warmth, his scent. She missed him so much she felt she was losing her mind.

"I don't know! I'm so sorry… I couldn't reach you in words… I was afraid you wouldn't want a baby… I was scared!" It all sounded like excuses and she wrapped her arms around her waist and crumpled crying harder. "I wanted to run to you… but I didn't know… what if we hurt you? I… I always hurt you…"

Excuses. It was all excuses.

Hitomi remained curled up in her own self-pity, aware of movement around her as a breeze blew by. The smell of the fields surrounded her and she could feel and hear the stalks swaying in the breeze. It was soft, soothing and kind. Van was just like the fields his kingdom was known for. He didn't deserve her excuses, her lies or her justifications. Swallowing hard, she whispered to the air around her, knowing this was a dream, that it would not reach the man, but maybe, maybe if she admitted it aloud, maybe she could start to forgive herself.

"… I was scared. I kept silent because I was scared. I told myself it was okay because… we had promised… because I didn't have to do anything. You would either come for us… or you wouldn't… I didn't have to… risk anything… I'm sorry… I'm so sorry Van…"

Her tears fell silently, her face burning with her shame. They had won a war because she had trusted Van. She had learned to trust him, to have faith in him, and yet, as soon as she'd returned to Earth, as she had acclimated to the world and social norms and expectations of her world, she'd lost that trust.

Fear and doubt had crept in.

She knew Van wasn't like the teenagers at her school, the boys who ran from their actions and called the girls and the babies they conceived as 'mistakes', but in the harsh light of her world, it was hard to hold onto that. The damning thoughts of "what if" crowded into her head and heart until it had strangled out everything else.

What if Van changed his mind?

What if Van found someone better?

What if Van married for a political advantage?

What if Van moved on?

What if Van never came for them?

What if Van didn't want her and Anil?

"… I kept silent because I was scared… I was wrong. So, wrong Van… I'm sorry."

Admitting it was somehow freeing, and it felt as though she'd just finished throwing up. The acrid taste in her mouth was unpleasant, but it felt like she'd purged whatever had been slowly clawing up her insides; like she might start to feel better.

Hitomi breathed slowly, basking in the gentle breeze and the warmth from the fields. She felt as though she were somehow surrounded by Van's presence, and she slowly sat up, looking at the endless fields and the sky that surrounded her. Her eyes widened as she saw perfect white feathers falling around her like snowflakes. It was beautiful, and somehow felt like a silent forgiveness.

Van, I'm sorry. I'm so, so sorry…

There was a feeling of comfort, almost like an invisible hug and the wind tickled by her ear, the words they brought, a lover's whisper against her skin.

"Please don't cry, Hitomi."

The wind felt like gossamer arms, holding her and she felt more tears fall endlessly from her eyes. Her hands lifted to hide her face, unable to stop and not wanting to hurt him with her continued crying even if this was all in her own head.

There was a shift. She didn't know how she knew or what it was, it was just a shift and suddenly, the arm arms were solid and real, the heat from his body infused her cold limbs, his heartbeat thrummed against her back, and his scent was even stronger.

"!" Her shock kept her from speaking and she dropped her hands looking down at the sun-kissed skin over strong hands and arms. They were longer than in her memory; a little more filled out, but no less familiar.

"I'm here, Hitomi." Van's voice was slightly deeper, gruff with emotion and she dropped her arms to hold his.

"Van!" She clutched at him afraid to let go but desperately wanting to turn around to see him, to bury her face against his chest and hold him.

"Hm." He made a noncommittal sound of confirmation and his embrace tightened as though to reassure her. She pressed back and against him, turning her head to press against his collarbone and neck. It felt so real, she couldn't suppress her shudder or stop the distressed cry that escaped her lips.

"I'm sorry! I—I didn't want to hurt you."

The hold strengthened and she became aware of Van's wings surrounding them, blocking out the world and encasing them in white.

"… I missed you so much…"

Van was silent as she rested against him, safe and secure in his arms, protected by his wings.

"Hitomi..?"

"?" She shifted her head, eyes opening. From this close she could really only see his chin and the ends of his dark hair. She wanted to see more, but did not have the strength to pull away from him enough to see him properly. He, however, had no such problems.

He shifted, pulling her slightly away though he didn't actually let her go, and she never left the enclosure of his wings, but still she clutched at his hands desperately. It was a slow and awkward process, but once she was facing him, truly facing him, she was amazed at how little he seemed to have actually changed. He had aged, certainly, and his features were very reminiscent of Folken, but overall, he looked the same. She teared up, her lips breaking into a smile as she reached up to touch his face.

He twitched at her tentative touch eyes growing wide a moment before he relaxed and covered one of her hands with his own. He gently pulled her hand to his mouth, kissing the palm. The brush of his lips made her skin tingle. His lips had always caused that; it was what had been missing from Allen and Fumio's kiss, it was what she had always wanted, and was afraid she would never have again.

"Van…"

Brown eyes opened and pinned her in place with their intensity. His gaze was sharp and filled with emotions. His eyes were lovely, far more so than any she had seen before.

"Hitomi… are you still mine?" His question rocked her to her core. He still held her hand to his lips, the question had been spoken against her palm, but his eyes demanded an answer and undermined the sexual pull of the action.

The answer came easily, falling from her lips before she had even finished comprehending his words.

"Always."

His eyes became even more intense before he released her hand to cup her cheek and he pressed against her, his lips finding hers unerringly. Her whole body felt the contact and she shuddered as fireworks went off under skin and along her nerves. Her arms wrapped around him on instinct and she opened her mouth on a moan shuddering as his tongue swept in to take up residency.

The kiss was deep and she felt as though it was laced with a new promise. Their tongues danced and twined, lips parted and returned several times as their hands clutched, traced and caressed neck, cheek, shoulders and back as though neither could get enough of the other. She never wanted this part of the dream to end; she never wanted to wake up.

As though brought about by her wish and in direct defiance of it, Van's lips slowed and his kisses gentled until he pulled back, rested his forehead to her own and held her firmly when she tried to reinitiate the kisses. The sound that escaped her could only be called a mewl. It was the sound of a discontented kitten and Hitomi flushed even as Van's eyes dilated at it. He pressed one last hard kiss to her lips but pulled back before she could deepen it.

"I'm coming for you. I am bringing you back." The words were harsh, pulled from somewhere deep inside of him and the possessive, commanding tone and words shouldn't have caused her toes to curl so pleasantly. Was it because it was Van saying them? Or was it simply because it was so reminiscent of the last time he'd come to bring her back to Gaea?

"… I'm waiting. I'll wait forever if I have to, Van." She whispered and finally she saw his lips curl into a smile. His lips fell to her forehead then and her eyes drifted closed.

"Wake up, Hitomi. I'll be there soon."

As though triggered by his words, she felt herself drifting away from his arms, from the field and from the dream.

"No! Don't go!" She cried out, desperately clutching at his figure but she slipped through him like fog and just like that…

Hitomi's eyes snapped open and she sat up with a gasp. The room was dark, the sun hadn't even started to rise. Her heart felt heavy as reality returned and with it the reminder that it had only been a dream.

"Van…" Her throat was tight with emotion and she sought out the link between them. It had been raw and pulsing all day. At first it had been excitement and joy, then nervousness and doubt. Slowly the emotions coming from him changed to irritation, fear and resignation before suddenly she was blasted with pain, confusion, anger and hurt.

She had tried to reach out to him, scared as to what had caused all of this, but it was as though her own emotions weren't getting through. She had felt something like reassurance from his end, but it was laced with his pain and doubt. It had continued through the day, bombarding her and smothering her with a deep anxiety that had followed her into her dreams.

It was no wonder she'd dreamed of Plaktu and the rest.

With a sigh, Hitomi placed her hand to the side of the bed to better help her brace to stand up. She needed water and to empty her bladder. Something under her palm felt different however, and she froze, frowning a little. Hope strangling her heart, Hitomi slowly looked down, and it wasn't until she laid eyes upon the single stark white feather and lifted it up in her fingers that she allowed herself to smile and really listen to the emotions coming from Van.

Love, reassurance, and hope bled through the link, bringing to mind the words from her dream,

"I'm coming for you. I will bring you back."

It had not been a dream.

A.N. Well, this chapter changed quite significantly from what my notes had been, but I think this turned out better. Many of you seemed to wonder what Hitomi's reasons were, and I hope this clears it up. She will express it more directly when they are reunited but this is the why in the most raw form.

1) Winter wheat is planted in fall before the hard winter sets in and is harvested in the summer. Dormant planting spring wheat means you can plant it in November and it will germinate and grow in the following spring and be ready for harvesting in late summer ( crops/wheat/farming-101-planting-wheat).

2) This is a reference to the Geko men who tried to kidnap Hitomi in the anime. I know they were suppose to be Gekos not slamanders but if there are geko-people then there should be Salamander people right?

3) Celena sees the ghosts of Diladau's most trusted Dragon Knights, the ones who died protecting him from Van. I thought it might be an interesting twist, brought about because of their loyalty in life and the deep seeded trauma their loss caused Diladau. Even though she can't recall who they are, she knows they were important.