Four Years

by Oceanwind1224

"Four Years... if you still... I'll wait." It was a promise whispered in the night, between sheets, warmed breath and hopefully innocent hearts. Seven years later things have fallen apart and now only the consequences of their actions can hope to mend the damages done, but is it already too late? (Hitomi/Van)

17. Chapter 16

A.N. So, as it will become apparent soon, I chose not to rewrite their farewell scene as I picture it happening just as it did in the anime except as they are hugging tightly, he whispered the words, "Four Years." And her shout of I'll never forget you even when I'm old well, that was said like a private joke and to voice her unspoken fears of things changing in four years and Van not coming for her. Van smiles at that because he thinks it's a joke because how can she forget him if she's by his side? Oh, those poor, hopeful, ignorant children….

Disclaimer: I do not own The Vision of Escaflowne nor any of the characters therein. This is purely non-profit fanmade fluff.

XX

"Do not condemn the judgment of another because it differs from your own.

You may both be wrong."

-Dandemis

XX

Chapter 16: Both in the Wrong

XX

6 October, 1996

Earth

XX

The smell of burned rubber and the glare of bright sunshine assaulted her eyes and dragged Hitomi back into consciousness. Her thoughts were hazy, muddled and confused. She couldn't recall where she was or why.

What… happened?

Squeezing her eyes closed and hiding behind her arm, Hitomi cast back through her memories for an answer. She remembered she had been with Van when they went to bed the night before. Of course, they had not slept a wink. They had made love until after the sun had risen. She dozed off and on, but did not actually sleep because…

I'm back on Earth.

The reality had her bolting up right and wincing at the bright sun that was all around her. It was likely close to midday, and she wondered when it was she had blacked out. She remembered saying goodbye to Van, she had given him her pendant, he had held her tightly, so tightly she was convinced he might not let her leave. She hadn't wanted to either.

She'd made a tasteless joke about remembering him even when she was old because she feared that this might truly be goodbye. If he moved on or discovered he no longer wanted her in four years, then it truly would be their last farewell, and that anxiety had come out in that statement. It was also why she had given him her pendant. If she kept it, she might be tempted to wish herself back to him before the four years was up. If she did that and he had moved on, she didn't think she would survive that. It was better to leave it in his hands and wait.

He had seen her off with a smile, whispering the words into her ear that had made her eyes tear up, and her hope soar.

"Four years."

The blue light had been nearly blinding, and she'd floated up into the sky toward Earth with a heavy but hopeful heart. She could not recall passing out, but she had been tired. It was possible that the trip had been too much for her and she'd passed out due to exhaustion.

But… why am I here, on the track?

Her confusion was mounting quickly as she found herself in her school uniform, her duffle strap still around her body, sitting in the sun in the middle of the day on an empty track. She had expected to wake up back in the nurses office in her running gear, the sun nearly setting and Amano at her side. That was what had happened last time, so, why was it different now.

She could hear the sounds of cars and the bustle of life beyond the school, and she slowly stood up, shifting her bag so that it was more comfortable. She slowly made her way up the stairs and toward the school building. There was no one around, which was odd and more than a little creepy. She clearly remembered that she had disappeared on April 12th, a Friday. Even if she'd returned and slept through the night, there should be students and staff on a Saturday (1).

And I would be in the infirmary… not the track… and in my running gear not…

Her slow, thought-filled walk however, proved that the school was locked up, as was the front gate. She blinked slowly as a cool wind gusted through bringing red and yellow leaves across the ground. She stared down at the leaves for a long moment, reality slowly dawning and a sinking dread crept up her spine.

Wait… did I not go back in time?

"Hey! What are you doing here?" The shout brought her around and she found a campus patrol officer running over to her. She stared and listened as he lectured her but it all seemed to come to her ears in a muted hazy blur of sound.

"… what's the date?"

"What?" The guard seemed confused to have been interrupted.

"The date. What's today's date."

"… the sixth of October, 1996. It's Sunday." The man spoke slowly as though she were crazy.

"… six months…"

"Excuse me? Are you oka—" the man cut himself off and seemed to stare at her more openly, "Wait. Aren't you…" His eyes widened and he seemed to recall something. "Are you Kanzaki Hitomi?"

"Yes. How do you—?"

"Oh my god! Where have you been, how did you get in here!?" The guard seemed flustered as he reached out and placed an arm around her shoulders, guiding her toward the building where she assumed the guards rested and performed a turnover after shifts. He sat her down and gave her a bottle of water and wrapped her in an emergency blanket as though she were a trauma victim. She didn't bother refusing, she certainly felt like one. When she did nothing but sit there, she hadn't even been able to speak, he then quickly started making phone calls.

She hadn't answered any of his questions but the man didn't seem to expect any, and left to her own thoughts, she tried to figure out what had gone wrong.

Why did I return now? Why is it different?

When she had returned home before, she'd gone back in time, she had relieved that fated day and Van had arrived on Escaflowne to retrieve her. She clearly remembered it. She relived the entire day, took the same stupid classes twice, and realized Yukari was also in love with Amano because of it. But, Van had come to get her from the normal time, the same point in time that she had left. She had assumed that perhaps Gaea existed outside of time. Perhaps that was why modern science had not found it. It would also explain how her grandmother could have visited Allen's father twice, decades apart but she had not aged a day, and she was wearing the same clothes.

The blue beam traveled through time when crossing between worlds.

But why didn't it do so now?

Confusion, fear and worry ate away at her insides and she hugged her middle as first a police car arrived, then an emergency response team. Everyone was asking questions, and without even realizing it, Hitomi was already lying when she found the strength to open her mouth and speak. She said she couldn't remember anything from the last six months. She stuck to her story, saying she saw a bright flash of light on the track and after that, she was waking up in her school uniform on the track, six months later.

She was in good condition aside from her supposed amnesia and so they alerted her parents and did not see a reason to rush her to the hospital especially when she said she didn't want to go. A few of the medical team were rather pushy about her going to get looked at by a doctor. They kept talking about tests and evidence but Hitomi's mind was too boggled to even try and figure out what they were talking about. So, she kept shaking her head no, and when they wouldn't leave her alone, she cried. It was petty of her, she knew, but she couldn't find the will to care. Worry kept rising inside of her and her anxiety continued to grow as she waited for her mother and father to arrive, and when they did she felt overwhelmed with emotions that made their appearance as tears.

Her parents looked thin, haggard and as though they had lost years off of their lives. The guilt that she had even considered simply not returning made her feel sick, and she openly wept in her mother's arms. She blocked out most of what happened, hiding; from the police, the EMT's, the fact that she was now six months behind in her schooling, that Amano must have been gone for a while now and Yukari… oh poor Yukari!

Her tears fell as the guilt strangled her and all she could do was clutch at her mother and lie through her tears. She had not prepared herself for this. She had been so certain she would return to the nurse's office, that she wouldn't have to face any of the consequences of having been gone for six months, that she had not been prepared to see what her absence would have meant to those she loved.

Her heart ached and it throbbed in her head as well, a painful pulse that did nothing to settle the fear and confusion running amok in her system. Thankfully, she was allowed to return to her family home with the promise of returning to give a full statement to the police at a later date. She was dreading that more than anything, honestly but the reprieve was so welcomed she could hardly breath through the relief.

She didn't like lying and that was what she would have to do when she gave her report. No one would believe her story… well, no one but her family. She had initially intended to never tell them. If she went back in time what was the point? But she had been missing for six months. She knew that her grandmother had experienced something similar, and her family knew about Hitomi's abilities to foresee events, so there was a chance her family might believe her, but even if they didn't, they deserved the truth. Especially now.

Hitomi felt sick to her stomach the whole drive home, worry and fear twisting her insides and filling her with a rising anxiety that grew thicker and more intense the longer she waited. By the time she made it home she was trembling.

Her parents didn't ask questions, and simply allowed her to take a hot bath in private. As she sat there washing her body, she saw the bruises left by Van and she flushed dark red. She had let herself wallow in passion, trying to forget; to block out her impending departure, thinking it would all be nothing but a memory. Seeing his marks now brought up a longing so deep her eyes stung and with it a new flood of guilt because her parents had only just seen her again and she was wishing to be away on another planet.

She rinsed off swiftly and clamored into the tub, dunking her head to hide her tears and muffle her cries.

Van… Van, I miss you…

Two things became clear in that moment, the first was that she was feeling things that weren't actually coming from her when an intense feeling of confusion and fear struck her hard, and the second was the fact that what she was feeling belonged to Van when she heard a very distant voice in her head.

"Hitomi! Answer me!"

She sat up gasping for air as shock and relief flooded through her. Their link, in all the confusion and chaos, she'd forgotten the link she'd felt when separated from Van. The fact that they were still connected gave her a stable rock to cling to in the tempest that had become her life.

"Van! Van, you're there, I… I'm so relieved—" her voice echoed in the bathroom but she couldn't care less if her parents overheard. She was just so happy to be connected to Van still. She was trying to push the thoughts and words his way desperate to hear his voice again, but instead all she received was an influx of emotions not her own.

It was hard to decipher them, but she got the impression that her words, like the time before on the battle field, had not reached him. However, his fear had receded somewhat so maybe her feelings had come through. If that was the case, he had likely been receiving everything she had felt since waking. His fear and anxiety made perfect sense.

Crying and laughing at the unfairness and poignant sweetness of it all, Hitomi closed her eyes and focused on feeling three things; reassurance, relief and love. She pushed those feelings to the front of her mind and hoped he would understand what she was trying to say.

I'm so glad you are here. I am okay. I love you.

After a while, the foreign feelings eased until it was nothing more than a gentle hum at the fringes of her mind; still worried, but accepting. Hitomi finally allowed herself to relax in the bath water. She would need to talk to her parents when she left the bath. She'd have to tell them the whole story, hope they believed her and accepted her choice. In four years she fully intended to return to Gaea.

Of course… that's if he still wants me…

The melancholy fear that chilled her was almost immediately followed by a warm reassurance and concern from Van and Hitomi smiled hugging herself and forced herself to think only on their link and reveled in it. His presence had always given her strength, it now buoyed her as she finished washing and changed into the fluffy pajamas her mother had brought into the changing portion of the bathroom (2). Armed with her fluffy comfortable clothes and Van's emotions and support, she ventured downstairs.

Her parents and brother were waiting in the front room, and they all turned to look at her when she entered. Hitomi swallowed hard at the fragility in their gazes and forms. Her eyes teared up again as she was struck with the reality and consequences of the last six months.

"You don't have to talk about it, sweetie." Her mother said, her eyes also filled with tears, arms open in an offered hug and Hitomi practically threw herself into those arms. Her father rubbed her back and her brother nervously set a hand upon her head. For a long time nothing was said, but she knew she couldn't put this conversation off and so, when her emotions were once more in check, she sat up and turned to her father.

His temples were greying, and his light sandy brown hair and green eyes showed emotions far too easily. She thought he had more worry lines since last she saw him as well.

"Dad… did, did grandma ever talk about a time when… she was spirited away during a festival?"

Surprise flittered across his face at the question and he looked toward her mother before swallowing hard and nodding. "… yes. How did you know?"

"… I went to the same place." Hitomi said with a sad smile, and then in the silence of surprise, she began her tale. It took several hours to finish the retelling, and during her explanation, she'd wondered off on tangents and side thoughts and had to back track when she had forgotten a detail that was later important to her story. Even to her own ears it sounded fantastical and crazy, but she pressed on. Even if they didn't believe her, she needed to be truthful with them.

By the end she was crying once more, her emotions too raw as she relayed how Van had rescued her from Dornkirk, how the war ended and she spent the last few months helping to put the world and Fanelia back to rights. She did not talk about her relationship with Van, or what they had gotten up to, there was no way in hell she was going to speak on that, but she knew she had to explain her feelings for him if she was going to tell them her plan.

I can ease them into that… I have four years to say it…

"… we… I mean, Van he's—" She broke off uncertain how to proceed when her father reached out and set a comforting hand upon her shoulder. His expression was warm, understanding and just a little bit sad. "Dad?"

"You love him, don't you?"

"!" Hitomi wasn't sure how to react. She had expected her mother—if anyone—to catch on, not her father, but seeing the pride and understanding in his eyes, she found herself sobbing all over again, reaching out to hug her father. "…yes… I love him… I love him so much…"

"And you still came home." Her father murmured, rubbing her back. "Thank you for coming home, Hitomi."

"How could I not?!" She cried despite the fact that she had indeed thought not to several times.

"Oh baby…" Her mother comforted her.

"… so… can't you go back?" Her brother asked, his voice strained and tight. "I mean, not now but… you know… later if… if you want…" His awkwardness made HItomi smile and she reached out to ruffle his hair which she knew he hated.

"… I left the pendant with Van."

"Oh." Mamoru frowned. "Why would you do that?"

"… because… I told him, if he still felt the same way for me… that in four years, I'd return with him to stay in Fanelia." She ended on a near whisper, not the conviction she'd intended to end on and carefully looked at her family. They all looked wary and sad at this, but slowly acceptance seemed to take its place. She was almost numb from the multitude of emotions she had gone through in a matter of hours, and so, the unbelievably swift manner in which her family seemed to accept or at least come to grips with her choices, didn't fully sink in, she was sure it would later and she'd end up asking repeatedly if they were certain they were okay, but for now, she just accepted it.

"Well then, I guess we have four years to prepare." Her mother said, pulling her into a tight hug. "Will you be able to visit?"

"I… I don't know. I think so. Now that I know there isn't actually a time discrepancy." Hitomi frowned thinking about it. "… I don't understand why I went back in time before, and not now."

"Well, maybe your wish was granted." Her brother spoke up, and he was far too articulate for a ten-year-old. His brown eyes, much like their mother's, were far too smart for his own good, though she had never noticed it before.

"… my wish? But I don't even have the pendant."

"No. That other time. You said you were upset, and you just wanted it all to go away. Maybe you wished to have never gone through the experience, and so the pendant took you back to before it happened to grant your wish."

That actually made sense. Hitomi looked at her brother in surprise. "Wow. Mamoru, that is…"

"Shut up." He grumbled, though he was smiling slightly and she reached out to tousle his sandy colored hair. "Hey!" He smacked her hand away as usual, but there was affection in the action.

So, that would mean, if I had ignored Van's call, if I hadn't shown up on the track that night, I would have continued on here, and Van and the others would have moved on without me.

She supposed that made sense. Her wish was granted, but because she changed her mind and chose to return, the wish was rescinded.

"Uhm… Mom, Dad, what are Yukari and Amano saying about my disappearance?" She asked realizing, she didn't know which time she left that the others remembered. For all she knew, her wish was still in affect and Yukari and Amano watched her willingly leave with the boy on a dragon.

"They are saying the same thing you are." Her father said with a pat her shoulder. "A blue light appeared with a boy. A dragon appeared and destroyed the school gate and the arches leading to the shrine. It disappeared after being slain and then you and the boy disappeared together."

So, the other time really never happened.

That felt weird, though she was partially grateful for that. It confirmed her version of events and...

"Oh god! Yukari and Amano-Sempai!" She lifted her hands to her mouth. "I forgot… are they okay? Did Amano-sempai leave to study abroad?"

"Shh, calm down." Her mother comforted, soothing her gently. "They are okay. I contacted Yukari while you were in the bath. She says she will see you tomorrow."

Hitomi nodded, assuming that Amano must have gone by now so she allowed herself to calm down and breathe easier. She could ask Yukari about it all later. She was tempted to call up Yukari and have her come over now, but she was feeling the fatigue of the day catching up, and honestly she just wanted to sit quietly for a while.

Her parents seemed to agree and so she relaxed around the house, helped her mother prepare dinner as it was getting late. She had woken a little before noon and they hadn't been able to leave the school and police officers until after four. Dinner was odd yet familiar and she ate in silence feeling an emptiness that she wasn't eating with Merle and Van and the others, but also a warmth from eating with her family. It all felt a little poignant and she tried not to think on it too much.

She felt relieved and very blessed by the fact that her family believed her story and that they seemed to understand and support her plan to return to Van in four years. They seemed sad at the prospect but they did not tell her not to. They also agreed that she should lie and say she didn't remember anything after the bright light. She should say the same things that Amano and Yukari had but say she has no memory between then and waking up today.

With that plan in hand she was able to comfortably climb into her bed that night. However sleep eluded her. The fears and uneasiness that had always come with the stillness of night made her jittery and highlighted the fact that she was alone; that she did not have Van's comforting presence to get her through the night.

Just as anxiety was starting to set in, she felt that tender warmth inside from that link and she very nearly sobbed again. Van was still there, in spirit and she snuggled close to the feeling coming from him, clinging desperately to that small thread of connection and let it wash away her concerns. As she drifted off to sleep she had the distinct feeling that she was forgetting something important, but she was too tired and comfortable to think for too long, and soon she was drifting into dreams and all concerns melted away; forgotten.

XX

17 September, 2003

Earth

XX

Her nerves were beyond shot. She had been keeping it together well enough, but the second she had Anil back in her arms, she'd started to tremble uncontrollably and when she had seen Van, there was simply too much. That was the only way she could describe it. It was as though the entire past seven years had all slammed into her all at once, and she had been so unprepared all she could do was cry. She couldn't have explained the problem, she couldn't stop, she just sobbed.

Then Yukari had hit Van.

Hitomi closed her eyes and tried to bring herself back under control as she heard her best friend enter the kitchen behind her. With her back still to her, her fingers still dancing a samba upon the countertop, she addressed the only issue she could actually find words for.

"That was uncalled for."

"…" Yukari's sigh was audible and did nothing to quell the chaotic anger, worry and torment she felt welling up inside her at the fact that not only had Yukari punched Van, she had also just aired out a lot of things Hitomi had not intended to share, at least not yet. "… it felt justified."

"Yukari." Hitomi turned to her, her expression likely twisted in some weird combination of disappointment and anger as Yukari flinched and looked away from her, rubbing her arm guiltily.

"… he made you cry." Was her excuse and Hitomi almost laughed at the absurdity of that defense.

"That isn't an excuse! Yukari, he didn't make me cry I don't even know why I was—"

"Can you honestly say that wasn't because he didn't show up when he promised?" The question struck hard and from the ripple affect it had on her emotions, Hitomi could not argue that point.

"…"

"Hitomi, I know you love him." The silent, 'I don't know why' was left unsaid but clearly felt. "I also know you wouldn't have said any of what I did to him."

"Exactly! Yukari, knowing all of that will only hurt him! He can't fix it, he can't take it back, what good does it do?!" Hitomi spun away from Yukari and angrily filled the teapot and set it on the electric burner to warm. "Yukari… he's already hurting enough. Continuing to beat himself up for things he can't change… that doesn't help me, or him… it only causes more pain."

"…" Yukari was silent for a while.

It wasn't that Hitomi couldn't understand where Yukari was coming from, as a friend, she knew that she would want to do the same if the situation was reversed. She had already absolved Yukari in her mind, however, she couldn't just let this go either.

"… thank you for trying to protect me." She managed after an extended bout of uncomfortable silence. "But, Yukari, this is between Van and I."

"I know." She said, her hand gently lying upon Hitomi's shoulder. "I won't interfere again. I promise."

Hitomi nodded, hoping this was the end of it, but Yukari continued.

"I don't think I was wrong though." She began and Hitomi turned to look at her, frustration painting every inch of her. "Hear me out." Yukari said raising her hands until Hitomi sighed and leaned upon the counter in silent consent. "It might not fix anything, however, I think in order for both of you to move past this, to truly start to forgive each other and let go of all the pain and resentment, you both need to know just how much you both suffered."

Yukari ran a hand through her hair and let out a long breath of air. "You might think you have forgiven him for everything now, only to find yourself remembering something one day in the middle of a fight, and hurting him all over again for no reason."

Hitomi was surprised by the words and the way it sounded as though Yukari was speaking from experience. It made her wonder what it was that Yukari was thinking of, but she didn't think it was right to ask. If Yukari wanted to share the details she would. As it was, Yukari reached out to grip both of her shoulders turning her so they were face to face.

"So, please, Hitomi, understand why I did this. Yes, I really just wanted to hit him." This surprised a laugh out of her and Yukari smiled in return.

"He does have that effect on some people." She joked back, needing a break from the tumultuous and dower mood even for just a moment. Yukari smirked and shook her head before returning back to her point.

"Mostly though, I wanted to help you out. I know you won't want to say the things I did. I know you wouldn't want to hurt him, so, I said them for you." She smiled kindly. "Now, you can both talk over everything openly and really purge all of this."

"Yukari…"

"No. Stop, no more crying." Yukari started, but she too was tearing up. "Gah! Damn these hormones!"

A few waterlogged chuckled and rubbed eyes took care of the emotions and all too soon the teapot was whistling and Hitomi picked it up while Yukari set out the mugs and tea bags for her.

"I guess… I'll have to tell Van to tell me everything as well, even if I don't want to know, huh?"

"Yep. Just don't tell me. I don't want to feel bad for hitting him."

"… you need to apologize to him."

Yukari snorted as she placed the mugs on the serving tray Hitomi had been given as a housewarming gift. "I will be pleasant."

"Yukari." Hitomi warned as the girl lifted the tray and walked out of the room without a backward glance, leaving Hitomi to hurry after her, not even noticing that at some point her tremors had ceased and she wasn't thinking about the confrontation she was faced with anymore.

XX

There was only so much one could talk about in a situation such as theirs, and he had just run out of topics.

How long does it take to boil water?

Just as Susumu was contemplating excusing himself to go to the kitchen as well, Van answered his question. He spoke in a quiet soft tone that was honestly shocking.

"… when Anil arrived, it was late. We had no idea who he was so I sent out the letters requesting aid. When Anil woke and told me who he was I began planning to come here."

It was a summary of events with no emotional connotation. He didn't exactly expect anything more, he was still impressed with just how concise and impersonal Van had managed to answer his question, however.

"Wow. Must have been… intense."

Van was back to looking out the window. Susumu turned to Allen hoping for more information but the man only shrugged. It was clear that despite their words earlier, there was a bond based in respect and trust and Allen would not likely share anything that Van had not already shared himself. Susumu was a little disappointed by this. He was hoping to confirm Van's character for himself before Hitomi returned, but it seemed that would not happen.

Of course, what he had seen of the man was in alignment with the stories Hitomi had shared. He was arrogant and had a lot of pride, that he recalled himself from their brief encounter seven and a half years ago. However, there was also clear concern and care for Anil and Hitomi, and while he seemed to be a very private and silent person overall, he also seemed to be emotional.

"… daddy is teaching me to fly." Anil piped up and that caused both men to jerk their heads toward the boy in varying degrees of shock. From that reaction alone, he knew that he was not supposed to know about Anil's wings. Of course, he already knew about that since Hitomi had sworn him to secrecy years before.

"Wow. That's great." He said with a smile and then looked toward the men, hoping to smooth this over with a few words. "There was an incident on his second birthday. We have followed Hitomi's warning and don't speak of it unless alone. I take it you are both aware however?"

"Daddy is teaching me, how could he not know?" Anil asked with a bored look. "And Allen walked up on us while we were practicing."

"Anil." Van's voice was stern but not overly so.

"But uncle Amano knows all about it. He's a good guy. Like Allen."

Van sighed, clearly frustrated and Susumu covered his smile by turning to the door just as Yukari came out with the tea. She set the cups down on coasters and set the pot in the center of the table before taking her seat.

"Tea. It's hot." Was her terse explanation. She was still a little hostile it would seem, though she seemed far too relaxed to actually be angry.

"Yes, thank you." Allen said with a nod looking at the mug and tea bag with mild curiosity.

"Mommy!" Anil shot up and ran to wrap his arms around Hitomi as she came out. Susumu smiled as he watched Hitomi pick the little boy up and hug him close. It was so good to see them together once more. He glanced back at Van so see if he had any reaction at all.

The man seemed to be struck by many feelings as his stern face from before now had a complex cast to it. He seemed pleased but also a little sad. Susumu couldn't guess at what those feelings were from but it didn't matter all that much, as it proved what he'd thought; Van was a man of deep emotions despite his silence. That too was in keeping with Hitomi's stories. If this much was true, then there was a good chance that Hitomi's assessment of him had been accurate, and that meant, Susumu did not have to worry for Hitomi and Anil.

"Mommy, Daddy says Auntie Yukari and he aren't enemies."

"Well, that's good to hear." Hitomi said with a smile, rubbing her nose against Anil's before walking over to join them. She sat down on the opposite end of the couch, Anil secured on her lap. "On that note, I believe Yukari has something to say."

"No I don't."

"Yukari!" Hitomi seemed equal parts annoyed and amused.

"I am not apologizing." Yukari crossed her arms over her chest and stuck her nose into the air. "I don't care if it was partially your fault or not. He had the pendant, he was the one who should have come here. End of debate."

Susumu sighed, wishing his wife would stop talking about this. He'd already apologized for her behavior, her continued attitude was only going to cause more problems.

"I thought you were done." He whispered to her, but before she could answer, they were brought to a halt as Van finally decided to speak up.

"She is not wrong."

Everyone seemed surprised at his statement and all eyes were now on the King who was looking away from them, but standing tall with one hand braced upon his hip. He took a steadying breath before turning and making eye contact with Hitomi, everyone else was rather ignored, but that was fine. Susumu liked that he was making a point to be honest and straight forward with his friend.

"I could have come after the uprising in Egzardia had been taken care of."

"Uprising? Was it bad? Was Chid okay? How badly was Freid affected?" Hitomi stiffened, asking pointed questions that were honestly startling. He had not known she was that well informed about their world. Of course, if she had been planning to marry a King, she would need to know basic geography and she had been on the planet for six months, but still, Sususmu was impressed.

At her questions he watched a warm, affectionate expression soften Van's features and he was left almost gaping at the transformation. The man's feelings both for Hitomi and her concern were clear as day, and despite their problems, it was abundantly clear, that this man; this angel from an invisible world, was still desperately in love with Hitomi.

Thank goodness.

He released a sigh of relief, his arm slipping around Yukari who turned to him in confusion but he just gently shook his head. It would seem Hitomi had indeed known her angel better than any of them had given her credit for and his worry was both pointless and insulting.

XX

"Duke Chid is fine, there was no actual battle to be had." Van reassured Hitomi, warm with the knowledge that despite seven years apart, she still understood the situation with very few details from himself. "It was more tedious negotiations and mediation than anything else. It just… took more time than expected."

Hitomi sighed, hand to her chest. "… I'm glad of that(3)."

Van's smile faded as he returned to his point. He needed to say this now, even in front of so many people. He owed this much to her and he did not see a point in putting it off. Especially since her friend had made such a violent point. "Regardless, when I returned there had been time. I could have gone to retrieve you. As soon as I realized the promised date had passed—"

"No. Van, I also—"

He stopped her words with a simple raised hand. When she stilled he shook his head gently. "Your friend is right. I had the pendant. I should have come. As soon as I could. As soon as I remembered. I did not do so. That is my fault, and nothing can excuse it." Swallowing, he lowered his head in her direction. It was an action that showed his deep regret and request for forgiveness, it was also one of the highest honors he could grant her, though he had not actually taught her of this particular act before she had departed, so he doubted Hitomi or her friends would recognize the action.

Allen would however, but that mattered very little.

"… Van." Hitomi whispered, and he lifted his head just enough to catch her gaze. She seemed conflicted and unsure of how to respond, and he remained lowered until she managed to squeak out. "T—thank you, Van."

That was good enough for him and he straightened, keeping his eyes locked on Hitomi. She looked tired and he wondered if it was for the same reasons he felt so drained. She'd been dealing with quite a few things herself, emotions he couldn't even fully understand but were evident in her actions. The careful way she held their son, the fact that she had clearly tried to force her friend to apologize for her assault—though it hardly hurt at all, it had been shocking and insulting but he was willing to be magnanimous and let it go—and now, her forgiveness was both touching and revealing. He had not yet absolved her of her part in this, but he was now certain it had been a series of misunderstandings, a lack of communication, and most likely induced by fear and distrust that had caused this.

Those things could be addressed and overcome and he was ready to attempt just that. He believed that they could find forgiveness and understanding in each other.

"I would like to speak with you privately." He stated, not wishing to waste any more time. No one was drinking the tea that had been brought out, and he was certain the tea had been an excuse to leave the room and speak to her friend more than anything else.

Those green eyes widened and she looked around at those gathered, her arms tightening upon Anil unconsciously. She was nervous about letting him go, and she was probably worried about kicking her friends and Allen from the room. Well, either that or she was nervous about speaking with him alone, but he chose to believe it was the former. Hitomi bit her lower lip and seemed to contemplate her response but before she could, another voice piped up.

"Right. Anil, why don't you tell me all about your trip?" Shockingly, it was Yukari that stood up and held out her hand for the small boy. Anil pouted and looked between her and his mother.

"But… why can't I stay?"

"Because, I need some time alone with you too." Yukari pouted, "I missed you, you know, and I still haven't gotten my cuddles yet."

"…"

"Go on. Balgas missed you too." Hitomi said, pressing a kiss to his head and giving the boy one last squeeze.

This, combined with Hitomi's gentle encouragement proved enough to get Anil to take Yukari's hand and lead her out of the room. He could hear the excited prattling of his son recounting his days in Fanelia as they left. He was talking about Merle when Amano stood to follow. Allen paused only long enough to nod in his direction and to pat Hitomi on the shoulder before leaving the room and following the others to wherever it was they found appropriate. If he had to guess, Allen was also following them to keep an eye on Fanelia's heir. Van was glad he'd brought Allen along now, though he'd never admit it.

And then, finally, they were alone.

Hitomi watched the group until they were both out of sight and Anil could no longer be heard. She slowly turned to face him, her hands wringing nervously. It seemed she had lost the bravado she had walked into the room with as she swallowed compulsively and glanced away from his eyes several times. He could understand the nervous energy and the uncertainty and waited for her to gather her thoughts.

"… Van."

"Yes?"

She flinched and then stood up offering her own bow, bending at the waist. This he recognized from a conversation they had once as a way of showing her gratitude and apology and respect. "I'm so sorry."

"Hitomi."

"No. I… I am as much to blame as you. I… I didn't—" Her words broke off and she swallowed again, "I was wrong. I should have…"

Unable to remain still and listen to this blanket apology that wasn't helping either of them, Van stepped forward. The sound of his approach had her lifting her head and it made it easier for him to reach out and grip her wrist. She followed his lead and stood up fully as he gently pulled her toward him, she stepped easily into his space, mere inches separating them. He allowed his hand to slip down until their hands were clasped gently.

"Hitomi." He whispered, and then asked as he had in their shared dream, the only part that was truly important. "Are you still mine?"

Her eyes widened in recognition before a soft, wonderful smile eased across her face. At the same time, her fingers tightened around his own gripping his hand securely as she answered as easily as she had before.

"Always."

He moved to embrace her and she came easily to him, resting against his shoulder and chest, her free arm wrapping around his waist as his own came up to cradle the back of her head. For a while they simply stood, enjoying the physical reunion and the simple contact. His heartbeat slowed at the familiar contact as he was immersed in Hitomi; her smell, the warmth of her body heat, the feel of her breath.

Finally.

Some part of him relaxed, he hadn't really been aware of the tension until it uncoiled. They needed to talk, to discuss what had happened, how they had felt. They needed to discuss what Dryden had done, what he had claimed to the council, what he had seen in their shared dream, but at the moment, all he wanted to do was kiss her; to drown in this moment and feel this relief and joy to its fullest extent.

Not one for postponing his actions once he had decided, Van used the hand on the back of her head to angle her head up toward him. She followed the gentle suggestion easily and in the next breath he was leaning toward her, head angled to kiss her and was stopped by the cool touch of her fingertips to his lips.

He frowned, eyes opening and locking on her own in silent protest to her denial, though he froze in place respecting her decision. Hitomi was lightly blushing, her cheeks a lovely pink and she was smiling at him, clearly pleased with his actions, her eyes bright with positive emotions. All of this only made him confused as to why she had stopped him.

"If we do that now we both know we won't talk." Hitomi explained, her fingertips gently caressing his lips. "And we need to talk, Van."

He couldn't deny that, but he wasn't ready to completely give up, so he opened his mouth and gently nipped her questing fingertips enjoying the way her pupils dilated in interest and her breath caught before releasing her fingers and turning them to sit side by side on the couch before his restraint snapped and he pulled her into a kiss despite the logic she was trying to display.

The silence that resumed was fraught with tension and Van sighed and chose to begin the conversation by telling her exactly what he needed to know right at this moment. He hoped that by getting those answers out of the way, that the rest of their discussion would flow naturally.

"Hitomi."

"Yes?"

"… there are three things I need to know, before we discuss anything else." Her grip on his hand tightened and he gave a soft smile, his fingers returning the squeeze. "The first you already answered."

Hitomi flushed prettily and scooted just slightly closer to him at that. "And the second?"

"…" His smile faded and his insides turned cold. "I need to know. Were you aware you were pregnant when you left?"

The shocked look on her face was frightening until affronted disgust replaced it and Hitomi was violently denying such a notion. "Oh my—no! No, Van. If I had even the slightest question about that there's no way I could have left. I couldn't have lived with myself if I had known."

Relief was brief as her word choice struck him as odd. She hadn't said that she wouldn't leave because she found out she was pregnant, but that if she knew she was pregnant and left anyway, she wouldn't be able to live with herself. A cold feeling grew in his belly.

"What do you mean?"

"…" It was Hitomi's turn to look away, her expression turning sad. It took her some time before she answered. "… you remember how I sent myself home in the middle of the war?"

"Yes." How could he forget? He learned she had heard his thoughts while he'd fought in battle feeling inadequate because she had chosen Allen. He'd thrown himself into battle and told himself he was being just and right because he was doing it for Hitomi, even as he painted the battlefield crimson when he didn't have to. Then, as Hitomi throws his wrong doings in his face in front of everyone, she says that she wishes she had never come to Gaea, never met any of them and disappeared into the light that had brought her into his life. That day was burned into his memory in vivid, sickening detail and he doubted he'd ever forget it.

Hitomi licked her lips. "When I opened my eyes, I discovered I had gone back in time, to the day before we met. It was as though everything I had experienced had been nothing but a dream. I would have believed it too… I have had prophetic dreams where I "relived" an entire day before except… I kept seeing feathers. You were calling me and I realized, it wasn't a dream and I didn't want to forget everything after all. I purposefully redid everything just to see you again."

As pleasant as that was to hear, that hardly explained anything and Van frowned at Hitomi waiting for her to make her point. He didn't want to rush her as it seemed to be difficult enough for her to put her feelings into words, but he was getting impatient by the time she finally concluded.

"… I thought…" She bit her lip and swallowed hard, her grip on his fingers turning nearly painful. "… I thought that when I returned home again, I would wake up as I had then. In the past."

"?"

"… I know it sounds crazy but… here, people have sent things outside of the limits of the planet. We have flown a ship to the moon… the white one, and landed on its surface. How was it that no one had seen or noticed anything odd and found Gaea?" She asked, sounding desperate.

"…" He had no idea how to answer that so he just kept his silence and let Hitomi finish.

"So, I figured, the Atlantians created Gaea to escape. They wished for it to stay hidden, so what if, Earth… the Mystic Moon, lived outside of the time flow of Gaea?"

Van didn't fully understand what she was saying, but he understood her meaning, he thought. She was implying that if one traveled between the Mystic Moon and Gaea, that the person's individual time would stop flowing on the Mystic moon and when one returned they would only ever return to the time they had vanished to keep the secret. While he could see how she may have thought this way, Van could also see where this was going and his lips thinned in disappointment.

"I thought… maybe that was why there was such a time discrepancy between the accounts between my Grandmother and Allen's father, and my meeting Allen and us not being too far apart in age." Hitomi fiddled with his fingers and he knew she was stalling. He sighed and finished for her.

"That was why you never seemed concerned about our actions." It wasn't a question and he felt her flinch.

You thought it wouldn't matter, because time would reset, and you wouldn't have to worry about the consequences.

Van felt his anger simmer just below the surface at the callousness of that. Sure, if she had discovered she was pregnant before attempting the return trip, she wouldn't have risked their child, however, she was willing to risk a child she was unaware of. No, she had risked Anil's existence in this way.

Van clenched his teeth to keep from saying something he would certainly regret. He was hurt and angry, yes, but he was also wise enough to know that he was looking at this with the knowledge of this outcome. He too had not tried to stop their nightly activities, and he had known of the risks. He'd known he was risking her honor, his future children's position in Fanelia and everything he'd been fighting for just before coming to her now. He too had been a reckless, callous fool; they had both been young. Chastising her for something she clearly already knew was wrong would not do them any good.

"… I was a fool." Hitomi whispered. "I was… a coward. I wanted to be with you, but I couldn't stay and I didn't want to leave room for regret. I selfishly risked Anil because I… I didn't want to regret anything."

"And do you?"

"?"

"Do you regret anything now, Hitomi?" He asked, locking their gazes and holding her fingers tightly. She met his gaze and smiled softly, sadly.

"Only that I risked Anil unknowingly and that I didn't tell you when I found out."

Van closed his eyes and sighed. That was enough. People did foolish things when they were fifteen. He knew Hitomi wasn't vicious or cruel. So, he knew he had to let this go, and seeing as she had just brought up his third and final question, Van turned his attention back to the topic at hand.

"… that is my third question."

"I know. You asked it in the dream as well." She admitted, her expression serious and sullen.

"Why didn't you tell me, Hitomi?"

"It's just like what I said in the dream." She began, leaning towards him until her head resting upon his shoulder. "I was scared. When I left…" her words caught a moment and he was sure she was reacting to a similar hurt those words brought to his heart, before she continued, "…I had complete faith and unwavering trust in you."

Van closed his eyes, well aware he would not like where this lead and braced himself not to react to her words and the hurt they caused. Interrupting her now would not get him any answers nor would it be particularly helpful. It didn't make listening to it any easier however.

"When I returned here… Van the societal expectations, the culture, everything here is so… so different. I grew up with these ideals and pre-conceived notions on how boys would react to certain things. And no matter how much I know you aren't like them, you have always been better than anyone else I have ever met… but, you were not here, and I started to doubt."

"Why didn't you—" The question escaped him before he could stop it and he winced even as she cut him short.

"What could I do? I couldn't send you words." She said, and the hurt was evident, tears standing in her eyes as her voice rose slightly. "… all I could think about was how busy you must be, how we never actually made a promise. I said if you still wanted me, in four years I'd be ready to return." Hitomi was crying again. "What if you didn't want me? What if Anil was nothing but a burden?"

"Do you think so little of me?" He couldn't help the hurt question from escaping and he regretted asking the question the moment he felt her flinch. The words had already been said however and he couldn't take them back.

"No! Van I'm so sorry… I don't think that but… fear and doubt aren't logical… I know you wouldn't but… being so far away, not able to actually talk… I was so weak." Hitomi said, twisting and pushing herself into his chest, clutching at his shirtfront as though afraid he would push her away.

Van didn't push her away. His arms came up to embrace her, well aware of what she was saying, and unable to deny it himself.

"I know. I know, you haven't changed. I know that now… but Van, here, most boys at fifteen don't want any children they might make with a girl. They consider both the woman and the child as a mistake; something shameful. I was constantly reminded of that and I… I was so afraid. So, I clung to those words we had spoken. If I just waited, I didn't have to make any choices. I didn't have to deal with the problem. If you came in four years, then you would clearly see Anil as a good thing. And if you didn't come… well, you would only view us as a problem. I told myself I was saving you from that… but really, all I was doing was hiding from my guilt."

"…" Van held her, gently rubbing her back. He didn't like her explanation, in fact, he was quite insulted by it all. However, she was being bitterly honest with him, and his being insulted and hurt by what she had thought in the past was rather pointless. He loved her, and he had already forgiven her for the action itself. Her reasons were her own and wouldn't change just because he found them hurtful.

"Thank you for telling me." Was all he could say in response.

"I'm so sorry Van. I didn't mean to hurt you… I know that means very little but, I really never wanted to hurt you."

"I know."

"… Van, I'm sorry for what Yukari said as well. I never wanted—"

"The truth, while painful, can't always be avoided, Hitomi." He said, running a hand over the crown of her head. "While I am unable to do anything with the information, and I can't take away the hurt, I am grateful to know. I do not know if your confession just now would have been so impactful without the context her words had given me."

"… I still feel like I should apologize." Hitomi pulled back and looked him in the eyes, her hands came to cup his cheeks. "I hurt you. I don't even know what my selfishness cost you. I don't even know what kind of chaos and mess you have had to deal with since Anil's arrival… please, Van. I need to know… I need to know."

Van let out a breath and covered her hands with his own, he then rested his forehead against hers. He closed his eyes and allowed himself to go back, to relive the last seven years.

"… most of the damage didn't really come until after you blocked out link." He began. "I was simply too busy to honestly notice much. I missed you, of course I did, and I was counting down the days until I could retrieve you. I was worried for you, even now knowing that you blocked most of your feelings from me… I still felt your distress."

"I was wrong for doing that."

"Yes. You were." He sighed. "That's not the point, my point is I still felt things, like when you went into labor. I felt most of the pain."

"Oh. Van I—"

"Don't. Don't you dare apologize." Her mouth snapped shut at the edge to his voice and he tightened his grip on her hands slightly. "Hitomi… I missed out on so much. I didn't know anything and I wasn't even allowed the choice to be there. More than anything else, that has hurt me the most. I wasn't allowed to support or care for you through the pregnancy. I was not involved in the naming of our son, I missed out on the first six years of his life… yes, I know I am at fault. I didn't come as we had promised… and my reasons for that are as useless and selfish as your decision to stay quiet..."

"… I didn't allow you a choice." She acknowledged, a sad, regrettable smile on her lips. "I know it doesn't make up for it, but I never intended to take that from you."

"…" He wanted to accept the apology and her feelings, but her words only brought to mind the fact that he too had committed the same sin against her.

Van paused, not wanting to admit the truth he had hidden from all this time, but knowing it had to be discussed and acknowledged. He swallowed hard, focusing on finishing his explination before tackling that particular issue.

"… I didn't trust you enough either. Instead of reaching out… I told myself you had moved on. I didn't want to see that for myself… I didn't want to risk you turning me away…"

…again.

Van closed his eyes, the pain from that day in the rain was still there despite time and all that had changed and all he now knew. He wouldn't mention it as she had already made amends for that, however, he had a feeling he'd always have to deal with the memory.

"Van." Hitomi gave him a gentle understanding smile. "I understand."

He took her reassurance for what it was and let that tangent go. He was supposed to be telling her the hard truths he didn't really want to speak on. "…you wanted to know what I have felt. The fact that I wasn't even given the chance to make a choice cut me deeply, Hitomi. And even knowing why, I can't help but be… so angry."

Her tears dropped and fell across his own cheeks. He held her close as she quietly shed them, aware she likely felt what he had after listening to Yukari's words. It was a pain she could do nothing about, and he wasn't asking her to. She had already apologized and explained herself. He was only bringing this up, because she asked him to.

"These past seven days have been… the most painful, difficult and trying days I have experienced. They have also been the most enlightening and joyful days as well, and all that joy has done is remind me of how many years I was denied this."

"Van…" Hitomi stalled, clearly lost as to how to respond. She'd already apologized, he had already forgiven her. He wasn't looking for anything more from her. He was just, giving her the truth.

"Hitomi, there is something else I need to tell you." He needed to get to his other sins quickly before he lost his nerve, "I had to lie to my council, to legitimize Anil's birth. I intended to ask our friends to lie and forge documents to achieve this."

"Oh… did they—I mean, how..?"

"Dryden…" Van paused, wondering if he'd have to say anything more, and felt his cheeks heat up. "… he already had a document that listed us as… that is…"

"!" Hitomi squeaked and he Van dared to open his eyes and saw her own flushed face. "So… legally we are..?"

"I'm sorry."

"What?" Hitomi sounded confused but Van pushed ahead, pulling her hands from his face and leaning back to put distance between them.

"I didn't have a way of asking for your permission. In fact, I already decided I was going to name Anil as my heir. I was… going to use that to…"

Force you back.

He couldn't finish the words. The guilt was too much to bear. However, he needed to be honest with her. He opened his mouth and closed it several times before he grit his teeth and finally forced the words out, each one burning and tasting like soot.

"Hitomi, I was going to—" He was cut off as a pair of lips descended. This was sudden, as was the tongue that slipped between his lips to tap against his own. He groaned and wrapped his arms around her pulling Hitomi onto his lap, her legs straddling his hips, one hand caressing her back the other twining into her hair to keep her against his mouth.

He knew he should be talking but everything else seemed rather unimportant in comparison to this kiss. He kissed her, nipping at her lips and relishing in the feel of her in his arms, her love evident in the passion shared between them.

He wanted to believe that she knew where he had been going with his words, and this was her way of telling him it was okay, that he was forgiven for even having those thoughts, but perhaps that was his own cowardice speaking.

Their lips parted with an audible sound and her hands once against cupped his cheeks as she panted against his mouth, "I do."

"Huh?" The buzz of adrenaline and the euphoria of lust made it hard to follow and he was confused by her words. "What are you—"

"We are married legally, and I know you weren't asking but…" A nervous giggle escaped her, "I do. I want to go with you Van. I want to be a family… I want to be married to you. Forever, always, until we are both old, I want to be by your side, Van Fanel."

He swallowed thickly, emotions too great to name bursting inside him. All he could do was tighten his hold and return her kiss with one that likely bruised her lips with its intensity. They clung to each other, lips meeting and parting in the same heated, passionate dance they had perfected seven years before. Perhaps it should have been harder to fall into such an act, or as Hitomi had said before, they should wait until everything had been discussed in full, but Van simply didn't care.

This physical connection was far more reassuring and worked far better at healing the wounds he felt than anything else had thus far. And perhaps that was just his desire speaking, or maybe it was because they had already discussed much of what needed to be said, but as he cupped her cheek tenderly, kissing her deeply; tenderly and feeling her return the touches and kisses It felt like so much more had been accomplished.

That was until Hitomi broke the kiss with a soft giggle.

Van scowled at her for show, while trying to keep his lips from turning up at the sound that was so much better than the crying he'd heard since arriving. "I don't find this amusing."

"Of course you don't." Hitomi teased, her fingertips tracing his eyebrow, cheek and lips on one side. "… but I was right about kissing you."

His brow lifted as did the corner of his mouth. He smirked at her and watched as those lovely green eyes of hers focused again on his mouth. "Oh?"

"… yes," He felt pride at the nearly breathless quality of her voice and tightened his hold on her hips where his hands had fallen when she'd started laughing. "It's impossible to think straight."

"I see no problem with that." Van said, moving back in for yet another kiss and smothered Hitomi's laughing and half-hearted complaints.

"Van! I need to—mm—talk—photo albums… mn!"

His persistence won out, and they indulged themselves for just a little while longer while they could. Yes, there was still much they had to discuss, and there was likely to be certain things that would cause misunderstandings and fights in the future. However, the main points and problems as he saw them, had been addressed. He was sorry, she was sorry, he wanted her by his side, she wanted to stay by his side. The rest would fall into place eventually.

XX

They had both been so unbelievably foolish. It seemed ridiculous now in hindsight, that this whole ordeal could be broken down to doubt, insecurity and a lack of communication. She wanted to slap her past self and scream at her, but it would change nothing. Right now, it was a miracle that Van was here, kissing her so sweetly, that their passion and love despite all they had suffered; had survived, and all she wanted to do was relish in it.

Sure, she needed to talk to Van about the photo albums and share those with him. She also needed time alone to process everything especially that rather concerning bit where Van had admitted to planning to use Anil as a means to force her to return. While it was clear he had felt guilty about it and he had at least admitted it to her, it was still mildly concerning and she needed to think that through when his tongue wasn't setting off fireworks in her stomach and brain.

She'd already said she would return with him, however, that did not mean she couldn't grill him and lay down some ground rules of her own before they did so. Besides, she needed to properly say goodbye to her family and put things in order so that no one was saddled with problems—such as her house and job—if she were to just disappear.

Van nipped her lip and pulled back with a glare that was more of a pout. "Liar."

"?"

"… your mind is not on this."

Hitomi flushed and pressed a soft chaste kiss to his forehead which did nothing to mollify him. "I'm sorry, there is still so much we need to talk about."

Van groaned his head leaning back to rest upon the back of the couch. "Right."

His tone said he didn't like it but he was not going to ignore it either. Hitomi smiled, touched and pleased by the simple word. For all the time that had passed, it was reassuring to see for herself that Van was still the same at heart. She had only just started to know him when she had left, and now she felt she had even more to learn, however, what she had already gleaned was still relevant and that gave her solid footing in all of this.

"… first off, it's important to acknowledge that while I still love you, and you still love me," she nearly faltered at that declaration despite being relatively certain he still loved her, it was hard to speak like she knew when things were still so tumultuous. "We have problems, Van."

His eyes opened and locked on hers, his expression turning hard and unreadable.

"… we couldn't trust each other. I think we both need to acknowledge that and make a promise right now, to actively work on that."

"How?" He asked, and his tone was thankfully more inquisitive than defensive.

"… we have to start asking questions and talking honestly about how we feel. If we get nervous or doubt something, however small, we can't keep it to ourselves. We need to talk about it. Right then and there, even if it isn't convenient." She knew that was going to be a tall order for herself and could only imagine how Van would feel about it.

Van frowned as he thought this over and then nodded his head in agreement and Hitomi let out a relieved breath at the action. It wasn't that she had expected more of an argument from Van so much as she had expected him to have more to say on the matter.

"I will make the effort to do this."

"Thank you." Hitomi smiled and then forged ahead. "Secondly, despite enjoying our previous activities… I think we need to take things slow for now."

"!" Now, Van looked like he wanted to contest her. She lifted a hand to forestall any rebuttals.

"I am not saying we can't be close or… kiss, but I think we should hold off on being… intimate for a while." She paused and ran her fingers through her hair. "Its… been seven years and… well, pregnancy changes things… I'm… I'm not ready to—"

"I understand." Van's face was firm but showed nothing aside from the understanding he spoke of and Hitomi sighed, leaning against him to feel his warmth and revel in the sensation as a weight she'd only mildly been aware of was lifted.

"Thank you."

Van nodded . "Anything else?"

"… I… I would like to say goodbye properly." She admitted. "I need to be certain this is what Anil wants. I need to say goodbye to my parents, and make sure several things are taken care of before I leave."

"What things?"

"I have a life here. I need to properly quit my job, and ensure that this home can be legally sold by my parents once we leave. I need to pull Anil from his school and—"

"How long will this take?"

"… how long can we take?" She returned, understanding his words held more meaning than that of a simple time frame.

"A week from today at most."

"Then I will be finished in that time." She promised, though she mentally tried to calculate if she could shorten that time frame. "… and you are certain this is what you want Van?"

His eyes narrowed at her question born from her own insecurities and lingering doubt. He tightened his hold and pulled her snugly against him, and her heart set to pounding.

"I would not be here if I wasn't."

His words made her shudder and she closed her eyes letting the reassurance sink in. Finally, this was happening. She was finally going to return to Gaea, to the place her heart had always yearned for.

"Hitomi, all I have ever wanted was you. At my side, for as long as I could keep you." His admission made butterflies dance in her stomach. "Now, I am even more selfish. I want our son to grow up in Fanelia. I want to declare him as the prince and heir and I won't let either of you go again." The intensity of his words and the determination behind them drew her close, and she knew they were going to end up kissing once more, she had already angled her head, fingers curling into dark hair when the loud shout of their son came just moments before he careened around the corner and into the room.

Hitomi only just managed to scramble off of Van's lap before Anil could catch them in such an intimate position.

"Mom! I'm starving! Its lunch time isn't it? Daddy, you're hungry too right?" Anil pranced over and threw his arms around her and Hitomi reflexively embraced him, her arms still trembling in the aftermath of his loss.

"Oh… right. Yes, I'm sure everyone is hungry." She glanced at Van to see he'd taken a throw pillow and placed it on his lap. She nearly choked on her laugh when Yukari came in following Anil.

"Sorry you two. There was only so much to be told before the call of the wild took over."

"Well then, I guess we best get started on lunch." Hitomi said brightly as Anil let out a cry of joy asking what they were going to have. Hitomi was wracking her mind for some ideas herself. She'd gone shopping for food of course but she didn't have much that would be quick.

"We could heat up the yakisoba your mother brought over." Yukari suggested. Her mother had brought some breakfast items, snacks and an entire container of Yakisoba. She wasn't sure if it would feed five full grown adults and a six-year-old but she figured it was her best bet.

"Right. Yukari, if you could pull that out, I'm going to get the spare bedding out and air it so Allen will have something to use tonight."

"Oh. You all are staying the night?" Yukari asked of Van, the first somewhat friendly thing she'd said to him. Van of course, responded with a curt nod but considering Yukari had punched him that was cordial of him. "So, where are they going to sleep?"

"… well, Allen can sleep on the couch I guess…"

"And… the other?" Yukari asked in a mock whisper that Van clearly heard. Perhaps it was because of that little jab, or maybe it was because she was trying to mentally do multiple things at once, but Hitomi managed to respond without any inflection to her words, as though it was the most natural thing to say.

"He'll be sleeping with me of course."

"!" The shock caused the room to still and only then did her cheeks flush and she looking warily toward Van, aware she had just told him that they should take it slow. His smile and raised brow only made it worse and Hitomi quickly scurried from the room, ignoring Yukari's gaping mouth as she made the excuse of getting the bedding out for Allen.

That was stupid… way to send mixed signals.

Hitomi internally groaned at her own idiocy though she knew Van would respect her wishes. They had shared a sleeping space before without sex. In fact, she had missed his presence almost more than she'd missed the intimacy as she pulled out the duvet and dragged it to the back to hang on the drying line she wondered if it would still be as comforting. They had both learned to sleep alone the last seven years. Would it be uncomfortable now?

She really hoped not.

XX

Anil was pleased. They had made it home, despite a few small mishaps; running into Ishikawa-san, Aunt Yukari punching his father and his mother crying, that was the worst actually, he didn't like to see his mother cry, but things were working out overall. His mother had been sitting on daddy's lap when he'd come in so she must have been getting a hug or something before she jumped off, which meant whatever it was they needed to talk about had gone well.

That means we will be going back to Fanelia, right?

Anil looked around the crowded table where Yukari, Amano, Allen, his daddy and mommy all sat. His grandmother's Yakisoba was passed out and everyone was eating the meal in relative silence. As far as Anil could tell, things were going great.

"Now that you have more company, we can return home, Hitomi." Amano offered between bites of food. "It's not like we live that far away."

"Oh… I don't want you to feel like I'm kicking you out or anything." His mother said with the smile that said she felt funny. Auntie Yukari laughed and shook her head.

"Hitomi, we've been here for several days now. We live a few minutes away and I'm sure Allen-san would prefer to have an actual bed to sleep in."

"I am not picky." Allen said with a smile, easily slipping into the conversation. "I am fine with a blanket and roof over my head."

"Right." Yukari said rolling her eyes. "But a bed is infinitely better isn't it?"

"… well, if given the option…" Allen said with a shrug which caused Amano to chuckle.

"Then it's decided, Susumu and I will leave after we eat. Give you all some time to talk." Yukari said before pointing her chopsticks at his mother. "You can't leave without giving a proper goodbye either."

"I promise, Yukari." Hitomi said with a smile, her cheeks flushed. Anil wasn't sure why her cheeks were red, he assumed it was from happiness but he couldn't be certain. "Before anything else I need to speak with my parents, the school—oh!" His mother sat up straight a hand lifting to her mouth in shock.

"Hitomi?" His father asked and Hitomi shook her head slowly.

"Sorry, I just realized I should probably let the police know Anil has been found."

"Police?" Allen asked.

"They are the ones who enforce the law here… they are kind of like a Kingdoms Knights back on Gaea, except, they serve the local people and government as whole, not a singular person."

"Huh."

"You do not have a King or Queen here?" His father asked head tilted to the side.

"We have an emperor." Yukari began. "Akihiko-Tenno (4), is the Emperor of Japan, but these days the royal family is more like a figurehead than an actual ruling government power."

His father frowned and seemed to think on that for a while. Allen's eyebrows rose and he seemed to sit forward in interest.

"If there is no ruler, then how does your government work?" Allen asked and Amano picked up the conversation talking about things that Anil couldn't follow or even begin to understand so he tuned out the words like legislative, executive, judiciary and unitary state. While there were lots of words he didn't understand when the adults talked, right now it all sounded like gibberish to him so he didn't bother to listen.

"You finished?" His mother asked and he looked up to see her watching him as he pushed his food around on his plate.

"… no."

"You bored?" She asked with a knowing smile and just as he started to nod, the doorbell sounded. All the heads turned in the direction of the door in varying degrees of confusion.

"Are you expecting anyone?" Yukari asked his mother who shook her head.

"I'll get it!" Anil announced jumping from his seat and already running to the door before his mother could tell him not to run in the house. He slid into the entry way and clamored down to open the door, his face bright with excitement. "Hello—!" His words cut off suddenly with his shock as cold infused his chest.

Why is he here?

"Anil. Thank goodness. Is your mother in?" Fumio asked, standing there in a pressed suit looking mildly frazzled and looking around Anil in a way that made Anil frown and close the door slightly.

"Why are you here? Daddy's come for us, so you can go away!"

The man looked down at him, his eyes holding pity and Anil frowned harder. Fumio wasn't a bad person, Anil had quite liked him, up until he'd started kissing his mother. Right now, however, the man was the enemy and Anil would not turn his back on him.

"Anil, I would like to speak with—"

"No! We don't need you!"

"Anil, who are you—" His mother's voice cut out and Anil's heart beat faster in fear, especially when she spoke the man's name in a soft almost whispered tone. "Fumio."

A.N. This chapter was longer than I anticipated, and actually changed quite a bit from my original notes. I think this worked out better than what I had planned despite Van deciding to get all horny for no particular reason. I hope you all are still enjoying this and that the characters are as in character as can be. We are just about half-way through the story now, so we have another 16 chapters or so to go!

1) Schools in Japan had six day school weeks up until 2002, though there are now talks of returning to the six day school week now. Since I'm saying Hitomi was in school in 1996 she would have expected there to be classes on Saturday.

2) In Japan the bath rooms, or at least the bathtub area, have a small changing area before the actual bathing room as the bathing room usually has a soaking tub that one enters after scrubbing clean and rinsing off.

3) There is a Japanese phrase that I see used all the time in anime and manga. Where in America we say, "Thank God" all the time, the Japanese expression of relief equivalent is "yokatta" which directly translates to "It was good/I am glad". I decided to use that here instead of thank god as in Japan the main religions have multiple deities and that expression doesn't make much sense ( /2015/10/21/japanese-phrase-yokatta-%E3%82%88%E3%81%8B%E3%81%A3%E3%81%9F/). I think I used it before however so, oops my bad.

4) There is indeed still an emperor of japan. Tenno is the term used to refer to the Emperor I used it as a suffix though I am uncertain if that is proper grammar or not. In 2003 the Emperor of Japan was Akihiko who ruled from 7 January 1989 to 30 April 2019. He was succeeded by his son Naruhito.