Four Years

by Oceanwind1224

"Four Years... if you still... I'll wait." It was a promise whispered in the night, between sheets, warmed breath and hopefully innocent hearts. Seven years later things have fallen apart and now only the consequences of their actions can hope to mend the damages done, but is it already too late? (Hitomi/Van)

22. Chapter 21

A.N. So, this edit is taking place much later than I would like. My boys were sick this week and as a result I wasn't able to get free as much. So, there are any long run-on sentences or other grammatical or spelling errors please let me know so I can fix them. It had been one heck of a week, but I hope you all enjoy this chapter regardless.

Disclaimer: I do not own The Vision of Escaflowne nor any of the characters therein. This is purely non-profit fanmade fun.

XX

"There are no seven wonders of the world in the eyes of a child. There are seven million."

-Walt Streightiff

XX

Chapter 21: Seven Million Wonders

XX

Third Day of the Twelfth Month

Final Year of Lotica

Gaea

XX

Night had fallen once again, faster than before as winter steadily trundled toward them. The brisk bite of cold air made his skin prickle and Van contemplated closing the window but if he did, his view of the Mystic Moon would be obstructed and he didn't think he could handle that right now.

Not once.

Van thought despondently to himself, criticizing his abilities and his overall uselessness. He felt like a bundle of activated drag energysts; sparking with energy and power that had absolutely no where to go; no outlet. His hands fisted at his sides and his eyes narrowed upon the blue-green orb upon the horizon, rising late now that the seasons had shifted (1).

Not once did you answer me.

His chest felt tight and his head hurt with the feelings he was so desperately trying to suppress. He was certain he was over-thinking and over-reacting, however, he seemed incapable of ceasing this needless activity. Hitomi had been upset by something this afternoon. He knew it couldn't have been anything small as her emotional bleed over had been relatively unvaried over the last two months. So much so, that most days passed by without him even realizing he hadn't even thought of her, until the night was falling and he reached out to provide and receive the comfort to try and keep the nightmares away.

There was no way of knowing if his reaching out and sending her his unfiltered feelings at night actually helped her in anyway—he still had nightmares, regularly now—but he hoped so and the routine helped him feel connected to her still.

Regardless, most days all he got were tiny sensations of reassurance and distracted frustrations. He interpreted this to mean that despite having a few problems, she was doing fine. He assumed his own output to her was similar as he didn't get many spikes or emotional inquiries from her throughout the day. Their days passed in this manner, but today had been different. He'd been overcome with a flood of anxiety so great, he'd had to excuse himself from training the new knights with Allen.

He'd felt sick, to the point of dry heaving in an attempt to alleviate the sensations. It took him a while to realize that the panic, fear and uncertainty were coming from the link, and once he did, he reached out immediately. He'd locked himself in his room and focused on nothing else, pushing his concern and questioning thoughts in her direction. He was prepared to leave, to rush to her side and retrieve her. There was nothing currently pressing and if need be Allen and Gaho could cover for him he thought.

Hitomi's response, however, had hurt his pride more than anything else. As soon as he started sending his feelings, he felt the emotions start to ebb away. He could only assume she was feeling him and realized that she was shouting out to him. They trickled out, until there was nothing left of the trauma he had experienced and then the stagnate and typical emotions flowed out to him only tinged with mild sadness.

Her intention was keenly understood and a sharp slap to his face; 'I'm fine. I don't need you.'

Van exhaled and ran his hands through his hair gripping and pulling it out of sheer frustration. This all felt so wrong, and yet there was nothing to be done about it. Bombarding Hitomi with his own feelings right now would only cause her more distress and that insulting, stagnant and all too distant response he had come to expect from her would hurt.

"Why?" The word escaped him like a tortured sound, and Van squeezed his eyes closed, hating how weak he sounded.

I am weak though. I can't even offer her anything of worth… she wants… needs nothing from me.

With a trembling hand and heart, Van lifted to grip the window shutters. His eyes soaked in the dim glow from the planet his heart had fled to, and he tried to find the land mass Hitomi had once pointed to as being closest to her home.

He couldn't.

Deciding he was doing nothing but self-flagellation for the sake of wallowing in his own pity, Van forced his eyes from the Mystic Moon. His exhale was a visible cloud, as he pulled the shutters closed, blocking out the sky and physically distancing himself from what he could not affect or change.

This was the plan wasn't it? For each of us to live our lives…

Van's face twisted and he shook his head to free it of such useless thoughts. He was done contemplating the reasons behind this. It hurt too much, and he would only return to these musings tomorrow when the sun began to set and he no longer had the benefit of hiding in the general work he needed to tend to.

Four years.

He'd told himself it wasn't that long, not in the grand scheme of things. He'd consoled himself with the illusion that a lifetime with her was far greater a gift than the four years waiting would be. He had been delusional. In only two months, he found himself shaken and uncertain, and he was no longer able to easily count the days until their agreed upon date.

He knew the date, of course he did, the sixth day of the tenth month, fourth year of Carusfatum. He had, however, been counting down the days each morning without fail. The past two weeks he had not even thought to do it until midday or later, and even then, he found himself actually having to calculate the days when before, it had been as easy to recall as breathing (2).

… is this perhaps what Hitomi would have called a sign?

No. Destiny was not so simple, nor was it written for them to follow. He made his own destiny, Hitomi and he had proven this when they destroyed Dornkirk's Fate Alteration Machine. He was merely being pessimistic. His hand strayed to the pendant, the cool hardness of metal and stone helped to calm his mind.

"Anything worth having… is worth waiting and suffering for."

Words from his earliest memories returned to him then, a reminder that he desperately needed. Balgus had said these things to him when he had struggled to learn swordsmanship. When he had felt more alone, lost and overwhelmed than anytime before. He had broken blisters upon his hands and his fingers ached from the strain of gripping and lifting a practice sword; enduring the impact of another and he doubted he would even reach a proficiency, forget ever becoming skilled.

The same words held meaning and truth for him now, and Van forced himself to breathe deep and slow; releasing the tension and anxiety that was building in his chest. He needed to keep strong, and endure. This was not a verdict, this was just the trial.

After a time, Van felt he was stable enough to retire, and he turned completely from the window, reaching for the buckle that held his sword in place. He had only just unhooked the belt when his senses alerted him of a presence he had until then, been unaware of.

Jolting with surprise, his eyes came up to the door. He had not thought himself so lost in thought as to be unaware of his surroundings. He thought perhaps it was Allen or Gaho, someone who excelled at keeping their presence hidden, he was unnerved and surprised to find it was neither of the swordsmen, nor was it a man.

Celena stood in the open doorway, her cornflower blue eyes staring at him in the most unnerving and distressing way. Unease crawled across his skin and tightened his grip upon his weapon. He had no desire to draw a blade upon an unarmed woman, however, his instincts and memory were screaming at him to do exactly that. This woman, no matter how unassuming and childlike, was capable of sneaking up on him without warning. She had also once been the crazed monster than had burned Fanelia to the ground, and actively tried to murder him for the better part of the year.

While logically he understood that Celena and Dilandau were two separate consciousnesses, he had a hard time believing that Dilandau would not wake up again, simply because the Fate Alteration Machine had been broken. He wanted to trust, for Allen's sake, but he couldn't help but think he saw that same obsessive madness staring at him through unassuming blue eyes now.

Why is she alone?

For an undefined eternity, neither moved. The girl stared at him and Van stared back, a cold sweat collecting upon his neck and brow the longer their silent standoff held. Then, she blinked and it was like throwing a pebble into a pool of still water. The spell was broken and the girl turned away sharply, leaving silently out the door as though she had every right to come and go as she pleased.

Van remained in place, heart hammering in his chest waiting for some attack or a sudden flash of red eyes and flames, but nothing happened. It took far longer than he wanted to admit, to relax, and when he did he refastened his sword to his side and rubbed his face a few times.

I didn't even hear her footsteps as she left.

This was a problem and one he didn't want to leave alone. Almost grateful for the provided distraction, Van stepped from his rooms to find Allen. They needed to discuss his sister's actions and figure out some sort of watch cycle for her. Perhaps it was overkill, but Van couldn't shake the feeling that Celena wasn't entirely right in the head and he wasn't taking any chances.

Van tried not to think about the fact that he was using this to avoid thinking about Hitomi, and consoled himself with the fact that they both needed to live their lives. In four years he would go to her. He would deal with these feelings then.

He had more pressing matters right now.

XX

18 September, 2003

Earth

XX

Fumio tried not to think about the fact that Hitomi had not come in to work today, nor had she called the principle with the news that Anil had been found. He had gone in to inquire after her absence and had been lectured on sensitivity, or his lack-there-of, to her current family problems. Seeing as he was not part of Hitomi's family, he did not feel it right to inform the principle of Anil's return, so he had apologized and left to begin his day.

He has only just now returned… it was presumptuous to assume she'd return so soon.

While logic said he was a fool for thinking otherwise, he had hoped she would return so he could speak with her away from that parasite that called itself Anil's father. He knew he couldn't do much, nor could he act too hastily as his intentions could backfire and end the same way things had yesterday when she had run him off.

More concerning than that though, was the inconsistencies between the man and Fumio's expectations. He was not so foolish as to believe that the man was misunderstood, nor did he believe he'd changed his ways, however Fumio did think that the man was playing a very good game. The prize was Hitomi and Anil, and Fumio just couldn't grasp the motivation.

He let out a sigh, glad that he was between classes at the moment as he was unable to focus and that was unacceptable. His fingertips pressed into his brow, rubbing in tight circles to ease the pressure that was building there. He had a headache that simply wouldn't abate. He had taken some pain pills, had a cup of coffee and when those had failed, he had started drinking water as Hitomi had once suggested some time ago when he had complained of a similar ailment.

Hitomi was the gym teacher and the track and field coach. She would know best what the body might need and so he deferred to her knowledge often (3). However, his headache had yet to break despite all of this. Of course, his headache was most likely due to stress, and that was unlikely to ease until his stress was relieved. Which, considering how his afternoon and evening had gone yesterday, was unlikely to happen.

Why are they all so determined to believe in this fantasy?

After returning to his apartment last night, Fumio had reached out to Kanzaki Mareo. He wouldn't say they were friends, but in the last six months while he'd been attempting to date Hitomi, he had come to know her family well enough. Mareo and he actually shared similar political views and both enjoyed baseball. This had been a large factor in his belief that he could build a stable life with Hitomi. His affability with her parents, who were a large part of her life, had been a large positive note in his favor. Or so he had thought.

He had never actively spoken to her parents about her kidnapping. Never said anything about Anil's father and had stuck to praising the child and Hitomi's skill at raising him. He had assumed that as he became closer with the family, they would bring the topic up themselves one day. Due to recent events, Fumio had decided to push.

Mareo, while a level-headed and generally nice man, had proven to be as prone to hiding from reality as Hitomi's friend Amano. Fumio hadn't gotten much of the story, or at least the story from Mareo's point of view, but he had gotten the general idea when Mareo had informed him that they were having a get together for Hitomi now that there was word that Anil was safe and with his father.

His stomach had dropped out and to his feet at that. Clearly, as of last night, Hitomi had not informed them of Anil's return. However, from the way Mareo had spoken, it was clear he did not think poorly of the man who claimed to be Anil's father. Already things were progressing so quickly and he was worried for the safety of the woman and child he had come to care for and respect. He didn't have much time. Perhaps that was why he was being so unreasonable about her not returning to work.

Mareo had mentioned the meal being on Sunday… I may have a chance to convince someone to stop her then…

Fumio's thoughts drifted off, ending in a sharp painful twinge near his temple. He just couldn't understand why so many people who loved Hitomi were willing to ignore the dangers just to hide in a fairytale she had created to survive. Yes, he had remained silent on the topic for the sake of her mental well-being, because he wished to protect her mind and heart as well as to keep Anil from the truth that would harm him as well.

However, this was becoming too much to let slide.

This man, Van, had the eyes of a killer. He was all sinew and muscle from what Fumio could see, and he had carried that blade on his hip too casually for it to be nothing more than a prop. He could be wrong, but he had experience with a man who had killed before. He liked to believe that he would not soon forget that expression. Of course, Van was different from his father, but Fumio still could not determine if that made this man less or more dangerous as a result.

I can't just stand by.

With another sigh, Fumio turned the corner that lead to the teacher's office. He needed to record some grades and prepare for his afternoon classes. He was brought up short when he spotted three familiar figures down the hall in front of the doors that lead to both the teacher's and the principal's office.

Suzuki Akihiko, the school principle, was standing before the door to his office, his expression was tight with displeased reluctance as he looked at none other than Hitomi. She was dressed casually, which, while not unheard of, did make him a little concerned.

Hitomi had always strived to be professional with her colleagues and bosses. When going to meet them, she tried to ensure she was dressed appropriately the only exception was when she was directly called in from her classes. The fact that she had come in jeans and a casual top said a lot about her intentions.

… she's quitting.

Fumio stiffened, his hands fisting at his sides as he watched Hitomi then turn to the man at her side. He was dressed differently from yesterday, in a pair of jeans and a hoodie with that rapper's name the kids in his class liked emblazoned across the front. Despite his unassuming clothes, Fumio recognized him as Van. He was notably missing his weapon and Fumio watched as the man crossed his arms over his chest at whatever Hitomi had said to him. The body language showed a clear disdain to whatever was being said. Hitomi smiled and patted his arm consolingly, before she turned and followed Sukuki Akihiko into his office.

Left alone, the man appeared to be nothing more than a young man. He could have been mistaken for a student if it wasn't for the tightly coiled tension he held himself still with, and the calculating gaze that swept the hallways before landing upon him. Fumio felt the antagonistic gaze like a physical touch and shivered at the harshness of it.

That is the look Hitomi should see. She needs to know how dangerous this so called-angel is.

Summoning up all his strength, Fumio plastered on an unassuming smile and casually approached Van. He needed to be careful and in control of his emotions when speaking. He needed to tread a careful balance. His goal was to get under his skin, to break this angelic façade he was trying to show to Hitomi and force his true colors to the surface without pushing him far enough to actually harm Hitomi or Anil.

He wasn't even certain he could achieve this, but this was a golden opportunity that he could not let pass. He waited until he was close enough that he could speak softly and he kept his tone friendly, despite the attack his words clearly were intended to be.

"I see you have succeeded in making her quit her job."

XX

He disliked this immensely. He had left his sword behind to avoid this exact situation. Yet, here he was, letting Hitomi walk off alone with some unknown man who was definitely not pleased with her, and he was still without his weapon.

Van sighed, and forced himself to relax and trust Hitomi. He had asked her to depend upon him; it was only fair that he reciprocate the same. It was no less difficult to do so, but he was trying. Hitomi had tried to explain things to him, so he understood that the man she had left with was her superior and that she owed him the explanation that she was leaving his employ. It was the honorable thing to do, he was simply worried that he might not be an honorable person and Hitomi could be in danger.

Trust her judgement.

The large hall in which he stood was mostly silent and empty. It had an echo to it that was a little unnerving as it made determining the direction of an approaching person difficult, but Van tried not to focus on any of that. Instead he cast back to the conversations Hitomi had initiated while they had walked. It had been informative and a great source of distraction, and he hoped attempting to recall the details would preoccupy himself until Hitomi's return.

The sound of footfalls naturally drew his attention and Van looked up and in the direction he thought they came from. Approaching him, with an unhurried gate, was the same infuriating man from the day before. Van scowled, well aware that this man, Fumio, was looking directly at him and was intending to intercept him. For a moment, Van glanced at the door Hitomi had gone through, almost tempted to get her. He did not wish for her to take on this problem for him, but she had asked that he not deal with this man, and he did not want to be misunderstood.

She also asked me to wait here… it can't be helped.

Van sighed, looking back when Fumio stopped an arm's length from him, an odd cast to his expression. The man was smiling pleasantly but his eyes were hard and distrustful. It was irritating. Why bother affecting a fake affability when he was clearly intending to start an unwanted conversation.

"…" Van stared at him, clearly acknowledging his presence but not offering a greeting. This seemed to amuse him, as Fumio's smile widened slightly. The man then looked up and down the otherwise empty hall. Van wondered if this man was going to suggest they converse elsewhere. He had no intention of following him, he was not going to leave this spot, nor was he planning to engage in any form of communication. Of course, that did not mean he intended to stand by and be insulted in silence either. He would not start the fight; he made no promises not to end it.

"I see you have succeeded in making her quit her job." Fumio began, with that joyful tone, but the words were weaponized.

"…" Van chose not to reciprocate. He could point out how this was Hitomi's choice, but he doubted this man would believe anything he had to say. He had clearly come to pick a fight.

There is no point in speaking with someone who will not listen.

Van let his gaze shift back to the closed door Hitomi was behind, dismissing Fumio in the most obvious way possible. The man did not give up, though he did drop the false levity with his next words.

"Do you honestly think, you can just come back in and pick up where you left off?"

"?"

His continued silence seemed to aggravate the man, as his hands clenched and Fumio took half a step closer, his aggression clear, though he did not actually do anything more than crowd him a bit. Van finally turned to look him in the eye once more, his hand dropping to his empty hip out of habit and he turned the action into a cocky, casual stance, one hand upon his hip as though Fumio's attempt to intimidate him was amusing and nothing more.

Fumio's eyes narrowed and for whatever reason, he retracted that half a step, putting some space between them, and lowered his voice so that it was a tightly controlled and soft spoken statement of facts.

"You left her alone, with a baby at fifteen."

I didn't have a choice.

"…"

"What kind of man leaves his child and the mother of his child alone for seven years without even contacting them once?"

Van frowned, not liking the fact that the words were affecting him more than he liked to admit.

"Do you honestly think you deserve them?"

"…"

"The suffering she endured because of you—"

"Is none of your concern." Van hated himself for responding, but the words had escaped before he could stop them, and all he could be grateful for was the fact that they were calm and only mildly threatening.

"Not my concern?"

"No."

Fumio let out a sound somewhere between a laugh and a scoff and shook his head, a smug smile curling those lips. "Oh, you are wrong about that."

"?" Van hadn't intended to show any weakness but his expression must have given something away as Fumio's smile turned predatory and he crossed his arms pushing forward with his words as though he had already won.

"You have been gone for a long time. She's built a life without you. How much does she really need you?" The words struck hard at a weak spot that was only just starting to heal. Van stiffened and glowered, refusing to acknowledge that Fumio had struck a nerve. "She managed all this time without you. She lived her life well, raised and supported your child without any help or assistance from you. So, what makes you think see needs anything from you now?"

The words were too similar, too close to his own insecurities not to hurt, and he was frustrated and angered by the shock he experienced at hearing them spoken aloud. His teeth grit as the anger churned corrosively in his chest, until he was no longer able to keep silent.

"That is not something an outsider needs to concern himself with." The words were defensive and useless he knew, but it was all he could come up with in response. Fumio's smile only became more self-satisfied.

"We both know I'm not an outsider."

Bastard!

His fingernails bit into the palm of his hand as Van resisted the urge to strike the man. He wanted to, nearly as compulsory as he needed to breathe, but he had grown in the last seven years, and he could rationalize when he needed to. If weapons weren't allowed in this building, and if Hitomi had been so angered by his treatment of this man before, actually assaulting him would gain him nothing but censure.

"What is your point?" He demanded, his voice a threatening rumble, barely controlled.

"My point is that you are no longer in control here. She is."

As though I didn't already know that.

"…"

"There is a full seven years that you don't know about, and what you should concern yourself with, the question you should be asking yourself, is just how close to this matter am I?"

"…" Van couldn't deny that he had thought of that, more times than he cared to admit to. From the moment Anil had brought it up in his office he had questioned. Even after sharing that dream with Hitomi, and knowing that the kiss she had shared with this man had not been enjoyed by her, it did not lessen his feelings of discontent.

He tasted bile in the back of his throat, and there was a pressure building in his skull the longer he tried not to react to the clear threat this man had dealt him. He told Hitomi he trusted her that he believed her, and it was humiliating to find just how suspicious and doubtful he still felt. He did not want to be here in this hall with this man another moment.

I need to speak with Hitomi.

That fact was forefront in his mind. He needed to speak with Hitomi about this before he reacted and made a bigger fool of himself than he already had. He needed to trust in Hitomi, her actions and words, but it was unimaginably difficult to do so with his own feelings and thoughts sabotaging him and undermining his will with but a few words spoken by a man who should not have any relevance to them at all.

XX

Hitomi had been prepared to burn bridges with Suzuki-san, it was the reason she had not even attempted a professional look when departing with Van. What she had not prepared for was the embarrassment and her reaction to her boss's disappointment and lecture upon her words; she was quitting, without prior notice, in the middle of her vacation.

It was a paperwork nightmare not to mention a staffing headache as they were already six months into the school year. The clubs were well established and she knew the field and track team would manage on their own without a teacher until one could be found, but it was still going to be hard for Suzuki Akihiko to replace her.

Her cheeks hurt with her blush and her chest ached from the accusations that had been levied her way in a very calm, disappointed tone that was more effective than yelling ever could be. Her stomach was twisted with anxiety despite the fact that she knew she would not need this job or her reputation after this weekend.

I didn't realize how much I cared about this life…

Her eyes stung with humiliation and shame. It would pass, she knew, and swiftly at that, but right now, she felt like that fifteen-year-old struggling to find her footing in a school that was as tyrannical as it was unforgiving. If you weren't perfect, you didn't deserve the air you breathed (4). A change of head was the only reason she had been hired here at the school after her 'shameful' dismissal only a few years before. She had now basically shown Suzuki Akihiko that those who had complained about her before were right, and he had been a fool to hire her.

It's not like I could honestly explain things to him…

Hitomi sighed and tried to put herself together before facing Van. She didn't want him to misunderstand. She wasn't upset to be leaving, and while Suzuki-san's words had caused her distress, he hadn't said anything to cross the line. She had used Anil's disappearance as an excuse, stating that she was taking time for her family. Suzuki had been understanding, and had tried to talk sense into her citing how she and Anil would need finances to survive. When she had still refused, he had pointed out how due to the manner in which she was ending her employment, he could not write her a letter of recommendation. He had worded it all as kindly as he could, while letting her know how much her decision was upsetting him.

It wasn't Suzuki-san's fault that she felt so horrible, and she didn't want to explain this all to Van. She felt far too raw right now.

The aid at the small desk in the room that separated Suzuki Akihiko's office from the main hall of the school was politely pretending not to have heard anything (5). As she approached the door to the hall where she had left Van, Hitomi became aware of muted voices. She couldn't determine what was being spoken, nor could she accurately determine the tone of the conversation as the voices seemed to be modulated and even. However, she knew Van wouldn't have wandered off, so he had to be part of the conversation, and she became uneasy almost instantly.

Pervious anxiety and regret now forgotten, Hitomi hurriedly opened the door and stepped out into a tableau she had not expected, but should have prepared for nonetheless.

She froze, eyes widening as she found Van facing off against Fumio. They were both standing with some distance between them, and thankfully, neither seemed to have suffered a physical blow, but their body posture, their crossed arms and glowering expressions, told just how vicious their conversation must have been.

Van's expression was dark and defensive, and when his eyes tracked to her there was something in the way he looked; a look in his eyes and the slight pinch between his brows that made him look sad.

No… not sad…

Hitomi's stomach turned cold and bottomed out as experience called to mind the same look Anil had made countless times when she had gone to retrieve him from the poor school environments over the years.

…insecure.

A protective anger, not unlike what she typically felt for her son, rose up and Hitomi turned her gaze to Fumio. She knew she was glaring and was pleased when Fumio's smug expression dropped into confused worry upon seeing her face.

"Hitomi—" the casual address stopped short, strangled off in his throat as she stepped forward alongside Van and then reached out taking his hand into hers, fingers sliding easily between his. She barely remembered not to step defensively in front of Van. While she might want to protect him she knew now that the action would be viewed as her not trusting his abilities to handle the situation. She didn't want that. She wanted to show a united front; support however unneeded.

Squeezing the warm palm against her own, she desperately hoped Van would understand her intentions. "Ishikawa-san. You must be between classes."

"Yes." Fumio managed with a companionable smile. She could tell her public display of affection as well as her hostile response had startled him.

Good.

"I wouldn't want to keep you from your class preparations." It was a clear dismissal, and Hitomi was just starting to turn intending to pull Van away with her but Fumio stopped her. She sighed and wondered when it was that he had become so insistent.

He didn't even argue when we broke up…

"Kanzaki, wait."

"What?" It was rude but she honestly couldn't spare him simple curtesy when she still had no idea what he might have said to Van, and she wasn't going to ask here.

"… the get together on Sunday," He began and Hitomi stiffened in shock.

"How did you know about that?"

Amano and Yukari wouldn't have told him. Then who—

Hitomi winced just before Fumio answered, already guessing who it was.

"Your father invited me."

She felt Van's grip tighten on her hand and Hitomi closed her eyes, breathing slowly to keep from snapping. Fumio and her father had gotten along quite well from the start. She had always thought that to be a good sign as it meant it would be easier to bring him into their family. She was now regretting that.

"… Ishikawa-san. I'm sure you know why it would not be a good idea if you came."

"You just quite your job."

"Yes." Hitomi turned to Fumio, staring him down, and felt a sting of remorse when she saw his worry. She knew his past history, and while they had barely even started a romantic relationship when it ended, he had been a friend. A friend she would never see again. It seemed almost too cruel to dismiss him so harshly.

"Am I not allowed to come say goodbye to my friend and co-worker?"

She sighed, her heart aching. She was still upset over quitting and she wasn't feeling up to this kind of final confrontation that Fumio was pushing for. She knew Van would feel reassured if she did, but she simply didn't have the strength for it.

"… you don't even believe." She shook her head, not meeting his eyes, turning slightly toward Van, unconsciously seeking his comfort. Van stepped just slightly closer, his free hand lifting to rest against the shoulder nearest him without hesitation. His touch was warm, bracing and brought the barest of smiles to her lips.

"… you do. Enough to do all of this." Fumio said, his voice tight. She could only imagine what it was he thought of this whole situation. It must have been as bleak and sad as Suzuki-san had thought her choices to be. It was insulting and depressing but she had grown sadly accustomed to those thinking she was crazy.

"I don't want an argument. I am not changing my mind. If you think you can—"

"I'm not."

"…"

"I know you don't believe me, right now." He paused when she raised an eyebrow at him.

"Why should I? I know you were just picking a fight. I'm not stupid."

"…" Fumio lowered his head into shallow bow. "I apologize."

"!" Van flinched, his fingers tightening upon her own. Looking up at him, she could clearly see the tension in his expression. Meeting his gaze she could tell he didn't believe the apology being offered and she honestly couldn't blame him. It was as though Van was asking her not to believe the words Fumio said. No, not asking, his expression was practically begging her not to.

"Ishikawa-san, while I am grateful for your concern and friendship… right now we are busy." Hitomi looked away from Fumio, her stomach churning and knotting with guilt. Fumio wasn't a bad person, and for a year he had been a friend. She didn't feel comfortable being cruel when she knew full well the reason for his behavior.

"I see." His understanding hurt more for some reason. "I still have that book I borrowed from your father."

Hitomi almost cried in frustration when he didn't just let them leave.

Why do you want me to hurt you?!

Hitomi let out a large breath, forcing herself to face Fumio and felt Van's protective grip on her tighten. She returned the grip with a squeeze of her own. "Do you have the book with you now?"

"No. It is at my apartment."

"…" She had no idea what he expected her to say to that and so she just stared at him for a long moment.

"I would like the opportunity to return it to your father and say a proper goodbye." Fumio gave her a look that was genuine and reminded her of why she had become his friend in the first place. She knew the right thing to do would be to allow him to come, but she had the feeling that if she did that, Van would be hurt and angry with her.

"… we really have to go." The best she could manage was not to answer at all. Like a coward, she took hers and Van's clasped hands, and drew him away with her. She practically dragged Van down the hall and out the doors of the school. Even with the warmth of the sunlight on her face, Hitomi couldn't shake the cold in her gut and the taste of soot in her mouth.

He will show up… he'll just call dad and he'll find out about the change of date…

She hadn't said he couldn't come, nor had she corrected his mistake of date. She had simply taken the easy-way-out. She had pushed off her responsibility in the most cowardly way possible and it made her feel sick. But, she couldn't make the choice, she just couldn't do it.

She dragged Van out of the school gates and down along the side of the street outside. She followed the wall until she could see the stairs to the small temple that she had disappeared with Van at all those years ago. Since returning, she had come to this shrine several times, mostly around the New Year. It had become a personally special place and she took Van there now.

It was quiet, shaded, and secluded this time of day. There was no one else walking up the steps under the red tori, just her and Van, their hands tightly clasped, their footsteps a tandem slap upon paved steps. She pulled them resolutely up the steps, tap-slap, tap-slap, the echoing sound that coincided with her distress heart.

This is all my own fault… I knew Fumio would never believe… I told him anyway… I knew I would never love him back… but I agreed to meet romantically… I knew he wouldn't sit by when something he thought was wrong took place and yet I am not being harsh enough…

She stilled, her eyes burning and her vision blurred. She didn't want to cry, wasn't even aware that her emotions were so tightly strung to result in this. Hitomi swallowed reflexively, adamantly trying to keep from making any sounds of distress or to let the droplets of salty water fall.

Van moved up and around to face her and Hitomi released his hand to hide her face, her breath all but exploding out of her as the caustic tangled ball of emotions poured out of her in words.

"I'm sorry! I'm so sorry you had to… this is all my fault… I should have known this wouldn't be… I really didn't want him to do that. I just… it's so hard to just—!" She choked on her words and breath when Van tugged her abruptly into his arms, hiding her face in his chest and the borrowed sweatshirt.

"…" Van didn't say anything, but his hold was sturdy, strong and kind. It twisted free something in her chest. It was painful, like removing a splinter that had become infected, but it was also somehow cathartic, as with it, her tears flowed out and her emotions released.

Her arms clutched at Van desperately, gripping low on his waist as he was standing a step above her, giving him more height. For some reason, that added something to the embrace, and despite years of standing firm and in control of her emotions, it was all too easy to wail like a baby in the safety of Van's arms.

I've cried more in the past two days than I have… in years… He's going to think I'm a crybaby…

"He was a friend! The first one I made after getting the job! I… I never thought it would be a problem… I don't want to hurt him, but I can't let him…. say and do those things…" Her words tripped over themselves and she was almost certain most was muffled and lost entirely into the fabric of the Umibozu merchandise, but she seemed incapable of turning her head away from the shelter Van had provided.

Regardless of how much he understood, Van's arms remained secure around her, one hand rubbed small circles between her shoulder blades, and between her words she could hear the gentle thrum of that beloved heartbeat.

He's so calm… I thought he would have exploded by now…

The distant thought was somewhat ridiculous, as she knew Van must have matured in the seven years since she'd seen him last. He had matured quite a lot even in the few short months between the final official battle and when she departed Gaea. Still, his stillness right now was at odds with her expectation.

"… I'm sorry. For what he said… and for… asking you to… please let me handle this." Hitomi squeezed her eyes shut as an added buffer against the world, choking up the words that she didn't want to say, "I know it's… too much to ask… I don't even know what he said but…"

"… can I not even defend myself against him?"

"!" Hitomi jerked in Van's arms, shock stopping both tears and words as that question washed over her.

Is that what I am asking him?

Bile crawled up her throat and the acid taste made her breakout in a cold sweat. Was she being too unreasonable in asking that Van let this go? That he ignore the insults that Fumio had likely hurled his way? Or, should she face the fact that she would have to be cruel to Fumio and break all association with him in a single action no matter how much it personally hurt?

"…" She opened her mouth, and then closed it chewing on her lower lip before trying again, "Van… Ishikawa is…. a friend."

Coward. Stop defending him and your own feelings, Hitomi.

Her harsh thoughts didn't make it any easier, nor did it stop the damning flow of explanation that she was attempting to justify her idiocy with.

"…I know you saw my dream. How much did you—I never…" She couldn't finish the statement after all. Her arms took up a fine tremor as she held Van, afraid of what his response would be. She didn't want to hurt him, she didn't want to twist his emotions up again, and that meant, she was going to have to own up to her mistakes and deal with it. "I—!"

"I do not like him."

"!"

"… I know you do not love him. I know…" Van inhaled deeply and then exhaled in a controlled manner that told her how difficult it was for him to say what he did next. "… what I saw in your dream, I can't not be angry about it."

"…Van, I—" His arms tightened and she stopped speaking.

"I know it was not… enjoyed. I know… it was not… malicious…" The words were forced out between his teeth, and his arms had grown taut with tension, nearly crushing her, but perversely, Hitomi was comforted by that and didn't try to pull away. In fact, she too increased the pressure in which she held him. "I do not want him near you. I do not want him near Anil."

I know… I don't want to but I'll have to draw the line with Fumio. It's not like I'll ever see him again…(5)

"…" No words came out when she opened her mouth. Why was it so difficult to simply agree?

Van let out a breath, his head lowering and she felt his cheek press against her head and ear, his words whispering to her. "… I will trust you to handle him… but please… know I do not like this."

"!" Hitomi squeezed Van tighter still for the concession he had made for her. "… thank you."

Van grunted, though his embrace did not loosen, nor did he raise his head. Hitomi breathed in his scent and in the rush of emotional backwash she felt compelled to reassure him with facts.

"I am leaving with you. I will never see him again." Hitomi tilted her head slightly feeling the skin of his jaw against her lips. "… I love you. So, much… thank you, for… for coming back." She choked on her own words again and pressed a kiss to his skin to keep from babbling further.

Van pressed his own gossamer kiss to her ear, his warm breath fanning across her skin and bringing goosebumps and a delighted sensual shiver down her spine. Warmth ignited in her chest, belly and blood a combination of sexual interest, love and gratefulness that was rather heady and did wonders in drying up her tears. She wanted to stay right here, she wanted to drag him home and spend time alone with him, but she was still nervous about that and there was still more she needed to accomplish today.

"… where else do we need to go?" Van asked as though reading her mind despite the fact that their link was non-existent when they were so close.

We should run tests when we return on how far apart we need to be for it to act up…

Hitomi shook her head to clear her thoughts and pulled back from the embrace enough to wipe at her eyes. "… I mostly need to make a few phone calls. I can make those anywhere… even at the house."

I should also think of something for lunch… and maybe call dad. If he can meet separately with Fumio I can avoid this all together…

Van nodded his head his hand lifted and paused just at the side of her face. She observed him as he seemed undecided on something before he pushed her hair behind her ear and then turned to make his way back down the steps they had climbed. "Then we don't need to be here."

Hitomi felt her cheeks pink and smiled a bit as she followed him. His brusque way of speaking oddly comforting. "No."

She caught his hand as they exited out near the street and linked their fingers together, because she could, and turned Van back in the direction of the house she called home.

XX

He had questioned once, why it was Merle seemed to dislike watching the boy so much, Allen now had a whole new understanding and pity for the catwoman. In the scant time that Van and Hitomi had been away Anil had managed to make a complete disaster of every room in the house.

There were toys, coloring utensils, books, and odd bits a bobs thrown across the floors and hidden in the cushions of the furniture. Clothes had been dropped in random locations, and the child had managed to find something he called, 'potato chips' in the pantry and now there were crumbs littered on every surface.

How can one small being make this much mess?

Not even Celena was this adept at chaos, and Allen had thought she held the supremacy in that department. On top of the mess, Anil had also attempted to cause reckless, bodily harm and near death no less than four times. The boy had quickly grown bored of everything he set his hands upon and eventually conned Allen into a game of hide and seek which morphed into tag when the boy changed the rules from "finding" to "finding and catching". Anil had thrown himself from counters and other high structures, crawled under places that seemed far too small and dangerous for him, including the oven, and then ran full tilt up and down the stairs, stumbling and rolling down the last four at one time.

Allen felt jittery from the fraying his nerves had suffered and had very nearly tied the child to a chair for both his sanity and the safety of the crown prince of Fanelia. When he had tried to reason with Anil, the child had told him he would be more careful. That lasted until Anil became excited and then he was back to the same antics he had just asked the boy to stop. When he raised his voice, Anil had summarily disappeared.

The child was ridiculously good at hiding. When he had given up his pride and used the 'phone' the way Hitomi had showed him to call Yukari and Amano, because he was man enough to admit when he had been bested, he had heard them speaking about not being home and a sharp beep noise. He had no idea what that meant and so he had hung up the phone. He had continued his search for the missing prince wondering how he would explain this to Hitomi upon her return, when he stepped on some strange black thing and the square thing against the wall lit up and sound emitted from it.

Allen jumped and spun at the unexpected voices and then stared in confused interest at the colorful painting that moved and acted out some story. The images looked like people and some sort of beasts with strange calls (6).

How does this function?

Allen pondered, amazed and intrigued by this new technology that the Mystic Moon had. The saturated colors and the brightly lit and moving pictures with voices that matched their movements, were all so vivid and entrancing. It was only when some battle began between the animals that he realized that he was no longer alone.

At some point, Anil had materialized, silently and out of thin air, to sit calmly before the strange square, enchanted by its luminescence. Anil was so focused upon the images that he did not react to Allen stepping up to him, he merely grunted when Allen called his name.

… should I question this or thank every god I know for this?

Allen chose to accept the miracle granted by the gods and slumped gratefully upon the couch, only then feeling his body aches from the tension he'd been carrying. He knew he should be trying to do something but honestly, he just wanted to take the time to breathe.

Please let this, whatever it is, never end…

Just when the some sort of music started up and Anil began to shift as though he would move Allen heard the sound of the door opening and Hitomi's voice called out.

"We are back. How—?"

Allen could only assume she had seen the mess as her words still. Silence that was punctuated by the music shifting in tempo and more images of the strange beasts danced across the screen. Anil had returned to watching the magic square and Allen wasn't entirely certain he'd even heard his mother.

Hitomi and Van came into the room then. Van was holding a bag filled with something that smelled good and was likely prepared food. Hitomi was staring down at him and Anil with a look that made Allen stiffen. He was reminded of his own mother and wondered if this was what that term, "mother's eye" meant (7). It was effective, he certainly felt chastised and she hadn't even said anything yet.

"Anil."

"…"

Hitomi stepped forward, expertly navigating the mess and picked up the black thing he'd stepped on. She pressed a button and the screen of mercy blinked out. Anil, as though waking from a trance, turned abruptly to face his mother. What transpired next was equally impressive as it was confounding.

Hitomi said nothing. She stood staring her son down, with a frown, hands upon her hips. Anil stared back before his eyes slowly lowered and he crawled to his feet and without any command, began tidying up the mess. Anil mostly just gathered everything and dumped them into boxes or set them upright on any solid surface, but he cleared the floors relatively well and swiftly.

Hitomi continued to stare at Anil for a few moments before she nodded her head sharply and lead Van into the kitchen calling out. "Lunch is ready when you've finished cleaning your mess."

… is she talking to me as well?

Allen couldn't be certain, but he too started to pick up the items with the child. He was impressed and amazed all over again with Hitomi's subtle and quiet strengths. He also, decided he would never again be tricked into staying alone with this or any child. Not until Hitomi had taught him the method of exerting one's control in a manner that actually worked.

He hoped this method wasn't something only mothers could exert, because he had some mild hope of using it on Celena, though even thinking about it, he had a feeling it was a lost cause.

Still, he could hope.

A.N. So, again, not too much actually happened this chapter, but I swear these scenes are important. I hope you all enjoyed this chapter and hopefully got a chuckle out of Allen's pain. I know I did. ^-^

1)Yeah, I don't know enough about space or lunar cycles to accurately say whether or not this would be the case, but seeing as this is a work or fiction with a planet with no apparent gravitational pull on Earth… I figured I could fudge the details a bit. Its fiction, so, sorry if this bothers some of you who may know more about this sort of thing.

2) This may seem to be coming on too quickly to some of you, but it is sad how quickly someone can lose faith and confidence when there is little or no communication. I have experience with this as I was in the Navy for four years, and my boyfriend at the time lived several states away. Due to our work schedules and the time zone difference, it was hard to even talk on the phone. It took less than a year for our relationship to degrade to the point that we had nothing to talk about when we did manage to connect. Now, my circumstances are far different than Van and Hitomi's but if I have learned anything about relationships it is this; open and honest communication and trust are the life-source of a relationship. Without either of these things, a relationship will ultimately fail, and these two things must be reciprocated by both parties. While Van and Hitomi love each other, Hitomi isn't being honest with what she is feeling and Van too is keeping things back out of concern. But the saying, 'The road to hell is paved with good intentions' is used because it is all too true and accurately describes what is happening here.

3) I added this little detail in because I used to get seriously insane Optical migraines (Only a mild head ache, no sensitivity to light sound or motion but visual 'dancing lights' that would render me almost blind followed by a sluggish brain, slow or inhibited memory recall and a mental exhaustion). I was put on medication that only helped for a short time. Eventually I became pregnant and realized that when I was drinking 80 plus ounces of water a day, I didn't have migraines. Now, I maybe get them once a year if that. Apparently I was dehydrated and never realized. I am in no way saying that is always the cure, but in my case it was, and drinking water can't hurt. LOL!

4) This last bit is her own personal feelings, not the actual view of the school. I wanted to highlight how 'do or die' a situation can look to anxiety and over pressured children. It is a real issue and while a little pressure can be helpful for growth, too much can be devastating and each student is different. Sorry, for jumping on my soap box, I just wanted to explain there was no proof for this. Or at least, I don't have a link for you all.

5) I wanted to explain this because, I am writing Hitomi from experience here. I had a boyfriend who turned out to be in the process of accepting himself and who he was, prior to meeting my husband. I dated this boyfriend for about 3 years. There were signs but I ignored it, mostly because it was long distance, but eventually it came out that he wasn't attracted to me or my gender. He had simply been trying to conform to what he thought was 'normal'. I accepted this and we remained friends. My husband however, was uncomfortable with my friendship because he was an Ex. In the end I had to distance myself from someone I considered to be a great person and a friend because I had to think of my husband's feelings first. It was not easy and took a long time. This is how I imagine Hitomi is feeling. It is NOT because she had feelings of a romantic nature for Fumio, she merely feels bad about needing to be cruel to a friend.

6) This is Pokemon, in case anyone couldn't tell. I added this because this is legit how me and my husband feel when our boys decide to turn into tiny tornadoes.

7) The Gaea equivalent of the "Mom look". I just wanted to have a change of wording here for some reason.