Four Years

by Oceanwind1224

"Four Years... if you still... I'll wait." It was a promise whispered in the night, between sheets, warmed breath and hopefully innocent hearts. Seven years later things have fallen apart and now only the consequences of their actions can hope to mend the damages done, but is it already too late? (Hitomi/Van)

24. Chapter 23

A.N. It was brought to my attention that it seems Hitomi is the only one comforting Van. I had hoped to show moments where this was more even but now I fear it isn't. I was trying to see how I could even this out when I realized I probably can't. In my experience with my husband, I have come to realize that to a large extent, men never actually grow up. They are surprisingly tender emotionally and need near constant reassurance in numerous small ways. This may only be my limited experience, but it is what I have to go on and that is likely why this seems so unequal. Van is reflecting that somewhat. He is also in an unfamiliar world with no support system aside from Allen… and let's face it, they are more frenemies than buddies. So, Sorry, if this seems unfair or lop-sided but I don't think I will be able to balance it out much as most of the parts where Van comforts Hitomi have already been written and posted and when they go back to Fanelia Van works hard to ensure Hitomi doesn't face many problems that cause as damaging emotional distress as Fumio does to Van. Perhaps I will do better on my next story. Sorry if this bothers you.

Disclaimer: I do not own The Vision of Escaflowne nor any of the characters there in. This is purely non-profit fan-made fun.

XX

"Education, like neurosis, begins at home."

-Milton R. Sapirstein

XX

Chapter 23: Home Taught

XX

Twenty-fifth Day of the Twelfth Month

Final year of Lotica

Gaea

XX

"They were found on the border. According to their story, they snuck away from their caravan for a bit of… fun." The way that Trent said this implied he did not believe the young boys that were kneeling on the floor of the audience hall, awaiting his judgment. Van looked between the boys slowly, one looked no older than Merle, and then back to Trent and the guards that had brought them in. "… after that they managed to get lost and separated and somehow made it to us."

Then they are extremely lucky not to have died from exposure.

"Why would a caravan be moving in the middle of winter?" Van enquired instead of stating the obvious. Fanelia's borders stretched quite far south but they still experienced the harshness of the winter months and most traveling was halted unless done by leviship. Even those were constricted due to the cold temperatures and the unpredictable nature of the levistone quarries between Fanelia and Asturia. Generally, most caravans and merchants halted during this time for the safety of all. This was why the spring was also so anticipated as it renewed the distant trade and information that it provided.

The boys flinched and looked between themselves which told Van he was correct in this assumption. They had foolishly left the safety of their caravan and travelled far enough away to have died had their luck not been insanely good. He let out a sigh, wondering how these boys could be this foolish and reckless. One of them looked to be about his age. Depending upon the caravan, he could be considered an adult, much as Van himself was. It was frustrating to see this and know that this fool had likely led the group under some misconception of ability.

"The King of Fanelia has asked you a question." Trent said coolly, looking down upon the boys with a narrowed gaze. Allen, who was off to his side, glanced up at him and shook his head. Over the last few weeks, Allen and he had come to understand each other better and there was a trust that had not been as strong before now. From his expression, it was clear that Allen thought the boys were indeed just foolish idiots who likely ran away for some stupid reasons and not a threat. Van had already assumed he'd be hosting these idiots for the better part of the winter, which was a strain upon the reserves they already had, but it was nice to have another confirm his suspicions.

"… it isn't…" The leader, the young man with the curly pale hair and dark skin tone muttered. "… we, left on our own… your majesty." From his stilted speech, it was clear this man did not often speak to nobles or royalty. He was most likely a small cog in the makeup of the transient group.

More headaches then…

He would need to send messages to Idus and Emos to discuss this issue as not only would he need to care for these troublemakers, he would also be taking on their idiocies. While any other time he could use this to build goodwill between the caravan and Fanelia, they barely had enough food for those under Fanelia's rule.

It may only be four extra mouths, but that was four extra people he had not accounted for when making allotments and food supplies before the first snow fall. He would need to discuss some sort of barter between the caravan for this show of goodwill, but that did not help his current situation at all.

"Who is the leader of your caravan?" He asked, placing a hand to his forehead where a headache was starting up. He was suffering more often from them, and Merle was getting concerned with the number of herbal teas he was drinking to try and combat them.

She blamed the draught he had started taking to sleep at night as a common side-affect was headaches and addiction, but Van didn't sleep at all without it, and his only source of comfort had all but disappeared. He knew he'd have to stop using it soon, but for the moment, he simply couldn't. Not when his nights were so silent…

Don't think of her.

Van harshly pushed all thoughts of Hitomi far from him, and focused back upon his current problem.

"… that would be Sorna… your majesty." The leader of the group spoke up again, fingers twisting.

The name was vaguely familiar and Van frowned trying to place a face to the name.

"That is the name of the head of the largest land moving caravan that operates between Fanelia and Freid." Allen supplied, his brows raised. "… She is not one to disobey."

She?

It was not uncommon for the nomadic groups to elect women, it was however not often discussed either. Looking at the way the boys cowered at her name, Van could tell she was not one to be taken lightly. He glanced Allen's way and the knight nodded slightly.

… caring for these idiots will result in an substantial advantage for Fanelia then.

Allen's words implied that this Sorna was a woman of ethics and morals. It was also clear she was very respected and powerful in her own right. She would not be off put by discussions of compensation, and from the caravan's description, it could be worth the debt owed.

"… I suggest you consider how you will explain yourselves to Sorna and behave while here." Van said, standing. "I will need your names and a detailed explanation to send. And while within our borders you will refrain from any actions that Sorna would not tolerate."

It was the only warning he would give. Thankfully, the boys seemed to understand his words as they bowed their heads and thanked him. Considering how they had been found; half frozen and starving, Van could only hope they were not concerned with more acts of rebellion.

"Trent, please set them up in the spare rooms near the knights quarters." Placing them there would ensure the boys were guarded and were also watched. It would also be more of a punishment as well which he thought Sorna might just appreciate. He hoped he was guessing her temperament and personality right from the few tidbits of information he had received.

"Yes, Lord Van." Trent bowed and led the boys away.

"The impatience of young creates many opportunities." Allen commented his arms crossed over his chest as he looked toward the door. "Sorna is a shrewd woman who will repay your act of kindness, especially as it was her own who caused the problem."

"… let's hope so."

"If nothing else, negotiating some kind of information setup could be beneficial." Allen suggested.

"?"

"Caravans tend to hear more than anyone. If there is any movement or shift in sentiments, they will know first." Allen's lips quirked into a humorless smile. "A strategic advantage which could prove to serve us well as we enter an unknown situation.

That would indeed be advantageous.

Van considered this and hardly noticed the approach of his newest council member who was staying in the central city walls for the time being until he spoke. Bora was large and had an imposing aura of a leader. It was clear why even after stepping down from the position of chief of Arzas he was still highly respected. Van considered himself lucky that the man had agreed to aid him. Van had forgotten he was in the room when the troublesome group was brought in.

"… I believe there is more that can be gained from this than mere information."

"Bora." Van greeted, turning his full attention to the beastman. "What would you suggest?"

Bora smiled kindly. "Sorna is indeed the leader of the caravan. However, her son has been learning from her for many years now, and as I understand it, is in the process of taking over."

"You seem to know quite a bit about her." Allen mentioned casually.

"Sorna's caravan routinely comes through Arzas. Over the years we have had the opportunity to speak. We have become… friends, I suppose."

Van frowned slightly. Did that mean they would have to alter their tactics? Or was this son a problem? "… I am not following." He admitted with only a small amount of bitterness.

It was hard to admit when he was lacking, and Van still resented it greatly, but he had well and truly learned his lessons in the war. He would not make those dependent upon him suffer for the sake of his pride. Thankfully, Bora was not one to mock or be disappointed by such acknowledgements.

"… you are still in need of a sixth council member." Bora cut straight to the point with a smile.

"!"

Even Allen startled at that, his arms uncrossing as he stared in astonishment at what Bora was suggesting.

"You believe we can use this to persuade Sorna to stay in Fanelia and become my aid?"

"I believe this will well and truly round out the information network you have been striving for, Lord Van." Bora answered. "Sorna's knowledge is wide spread, and with her connection to the caravan and her loyalty, a large network for information gathering as well as a method of spreading information, will be available to you."

"…"

"This would also serve your purpose in expanding the influence of those where are not human nobles within the power structure of Fanelia."

Bora was right. However, Van had never heard of any ruler taking a caravan leader as their council member. That wasn't to say he wouldn't do it because of a lack of precedence and Sorna, if she was all that she appeared to be, would work well for accomplishing his personal plans for Fanelia. Honestly, the only drawback was that this would become another argument and headache from Idus and Emos as they became upset over precedence and honor and all that rot.

They were still particularly sore over his choice to bring in Trent, Gaho and Bora. Bringing in Sorna would likely be the tinder to an all-out argument with the last remaining noble families in Fanelia. Not only was she an 'outsider' by their views, but she was also a woman. Would she be able to hold her own against Emos and Idus? Or Trent and Gaho for that matter?

She would have to be strong and thick-skinned to run a caravan.

Van thought to himself, and recalled the fearful way those young men had reacted when her name was brought up. If she commanded such reverence and respect from these rebellious boys, then she was likely to do just fine on his council.

"Merely something to consider, Lord Van." Bora said casually, affecting a bow and excusing himself with that small bit of wisdom. This was why he enjoyed Bora's presence and advice. He made suggestions only when he felt it prudent, and even then, he left the decision up to him without pressuring too much.

"… that would certainly anger Emos and Idus." Allen said calmly and Van snorted at that massive understatement. "I will prepare a message for Freid. See if the caravan is closer to their border this time of year and if his lands would be easier to send a messenger through or if a carrier bird would be able to make it."

Allen took his leave and Van sighed, now left alone with his own thoughts and his headache. In the momentary silence, Van noticed a gentle pulse of feeling coming from Hitomi. It was the same as it always was these days, a constant flow of reassurance and mild questioning. It was nice to feel her, but it was also frustrating as she felt far more distant for the lack of change in her feelings.

He felt like a jerk for feeling upset by this and that only added to his bad mood. He knew she couldn't talk, that she was dealing with her own problems, problems he couldn't help with, and she was likely as worried as he was about being a hindrance. She probably pushed feelings or thoughts of reassurance whenever she could because she couldn't think of anything else that wouldn't be misunderstood. Van knew that. Still, it didn't stop the hurt, and it didn't sooth his wounded pride and heart.

Van groaned and ran an irritated hand through his hair roughly and shook his head to clear it of the distractions. Swallowing down his displeasure and guilt, he shoved half-hearted reassurances towards Hitomi through the link. Hopefully she will assume his irritation and frustration were due to something else if she did feel them.

I wish I could speak with you…

The thought was useless and childish, but no less true and Van closed his eyes for a beat, accepting his weakness before stepping out of the hall to pen a letter for the caravan. There was much he needed to set in motion before meeting this Sorna, and it was easier if he stayed busy.

It was better if he didn't think about Hitomi (1).

XX

19 September, 2003

Earth

XX

It was off-putting just how normal the day felt, to the extent that Yukari was actually annoyed. She was going to be a mother, Anil had returned from another planet with his father—and a doppelganger of her husband but she wasn't going to think about that, no she wasn't—her best friend and son were going to be leaving the planet in less than forty-eight hours and she was helping settle the legal paperwork for the move. It should not be so bright, sunny and normal right now.

The world is truly unfair.

"Yukari? Are you feeling alright?" Hitomi asked a concerned hand placed upon her shoulder. "Do you need to rest?"

That sandy-colored head popped up and scanned the area for a bench and Yukari felt the warmth spread through her chest at her friend's thoughtful concern. Of course, thanks to her hormones, this also triggered the burning tingle in her eyes which preceded tears.

Oh damn! No, I'm not going to cry here… you have no power over me, stupid hormones—

"I—I'm fine…" Yukari was humiliated to hear the quiver in her voice, but thankfully she kept the actual tears in check.

"No you aren't!" Hitomi sounded worried and before Yukari could stop her, she had shuffled them to an unoccupied bench and pushed her gently to sit. "You need to listen to your body. It knows best."

"… are you lecturing me right now?"

"Someone has to." Hitomi shrugged cheekily, but the seriousness returned in the next breath. "Right now is the most crucial time for you and…" Her eyes dropped to Yukari's flat stomach then back up. "… I don't want to scare you, but a lot can go wrong in the first three months."

"I know. I know. I helped you research this remember?" Yukari raised her eyebrow sarcastically but smiled to take away the bite of her words. "I'm really fine, Hitomi. I was just thinking something silly."

Hitomi gave her the mom-look. It wasn't nearly as effective on her, but Yukari was still impressed by it.

"I'm serious. I got all emotional because you were being so nice…"

"You looked like you were in pain."

Yeah… I'm losing my best friend, probably for good…

She couldn't say that though. Yukari let out a loud, somewhat rude, snort of air and lowered her head. "Well, yeah, I still can't believe the amount of fuss those men made just letting you leave the house. I was tempted to introduce them to the pepper spray I have in my purse…(2)"

"Yukari!"

She grinned when Hitomi's shocked outrage was tinged with more amusement than she probably wanted to show. "It would have proven we were well protected."

"…" Hitomi rolled her eyes and pressed a hand to her forehead. "… you are as bad as Van…"

"Hey! No need to get vulgar."

Hitomi gave her a look and Yukari dropped the comedy act. "Okay, fine. I promise I won't spray your angel."

"?" Hitomi raised her brow and waited.

"Blondie hasn't given me a real reason to maim him yet."

"Oh for the—Yukari, please."

"Alright, alright. I'll play nice." Yukari gave in, though she never had any real intention of using her contraband item so recklessly. Technically, she could be in a lot of trouble for carrying it around on her person, even speaking as she had just now, was risky as she had no proof that she was in need of it. However, after the incident in the Saitama prefecture in 2000, Yukari had felt a need to risk a fine to ensure her own safety (3). She only carried it when she was alone or when she went out with another female friend alone. Of course, since becoming pregnant, she'd been even more paranoid and had also taken to carrying it more often, but that was not really the point.

"Thank you."

"… I guess I should give him some credit." Yukari grumbled. "He did tell blondie to back off and let you leave."

Her words brought a pleased smile and blush to Hitomi's face. She knew she was missing some bigger conversation between Hitomi and Van, but she didn't need to know the specifics to make a good guess. They had likely talked and he was actively trying to prove he either trusted her, or that he wouldn't try to control her every move. Either way, it was commendable.

"… so, your mother is coming to pick up Anil this afternoon for a sleep over?"

"Yeah." Hitomi said her look turning worried once more. Yukari took a moment before standing up and urging Hitomi back onto the side walk. It was still early enough to be less crowded than typical, but she knew that would change all too soon and didn't want to be caught in a crowd if her nausea kicked back up.

"You okay with that?"

"No… yes?"

"… was that an answer?"

Hitomi's laugh was weak and sad. "Not really. I'm not comfortable with it, but… my mom and dad will miss out on a lot. I also don't want Anil to miss out just because I'm… scared."

Yukari gave Hitomi a one-armed hug. "You are a good mother."

"Ha."

"I'm serious."

"So am I." Hitomi returned shaking her head. "Let me tell you a secret. As a mother, you will always feel like you aren't good enough. Motherhood is ninety percent guilt, ten percent pride (4)."

"…great. Way to sell this whole parenthood thing, Hitomi." Yukari placed a hand over her flat stomach and rubbed.

"I'm not going to sugar coat it." Hitomi laughed. "You were there with me for most of it. You know."

Yeah. I do.

"… so, it's just going to be you and the guys at the house."

"… I hadn't thought of it like that." Hitomi made a face. "I should probably try to find some board games or something…"

"… yeah. Board games."

"What?"

Yukari let out a sigh shaking her head. She wasn't going to be the one to point it out to her friend. "Nothing. Just… if you want or if he wants, a place to go for the night, call us. We can take blondie off your hands."

"?" Hitomi seemed confused by this offer; until it finally clicked in and her face turned the most amusing shade of cherry red. Yukari couldn't contain her laughter. "Yukari…"

"What? Don't you want—?"

"I am not discussing this here!" Hitomi's eyes glanced around the very public walkway and Yukari conceded that she was being very vulgar and rude.

"Sorry."

Hitomi sighed, letting it go as they continued their path. It had been nice to spend time alone with her friend, but the tasks only served to remind her that they were soon to say goodbye. Hitomi had sorted all of the legal paperwork so her parents could access her accounts and sell her home after they had left. It hurt her heart to know that soon the home she associated with her best friend and child would belong to another person, but she figured it wasn't so different from a typical move.

It's a normal step in life…

So why was it so upsetting?

"…I ran into Fumio at the school yesterday."

"!" Yukari nearly tripped at the sudden topic change. "With Van?"

"… he'd actually approached Van while I was speaking with Suzuki-san."

"…"

"Yeah."

"Do you know what was said?" Yukari asked, suddenly realizing what that look was that she had seen on Van's face when they had left, and having a new perspective on why he'd let Hitomi leave without an escort.

Hitomi shook her head in the negative. "I stepped out after they had finished I think."

"… and you didn't ask." Yukari sighed.

"It didn't seem right at the time."

"It still needs to be addressed."

"I know, Yukari… I tried to ask last—" Hitomi's teeth clicked with how quickly she cut that off and Yukari frowned. From the blush upon her cheeks and the way she was studiously avoiding her gaze, Yukari could guess what had interrupted their conversation and her brows rose.

"… oh."

"… don't tease me."

"… impressive—"

"Don't."

Yukari kept her mouth shut but did nothing to hide her smirk. It would seem she didn't have to get Allen out of the house after all. He apparently knew how and when to make himself scarce. However, this wasn't important, and Yukari forced herself back to the topic at hand.

"… I know Ishikawa is a friend, and that when you leave it won't matter… but you really need to draw that line."

"I know. I did."

"… did you?"

"…" Hitomi made the face that Yukari knew meant that she had tried, but wasn't so certain she had succeeded. Yukari sighed, patting her shoulder.

"He isn't coming tomorrow is he?"

"Dad invited him."

"Oh no…"

"He did so when the plan was for Sunday." Hitomi explained. "I called and told them not to tell him the change in date."

"… that's good at least."

"…"

"What are you worried about?" Yukari asked, aware that Hitomi wouldn't bring up the topic with no reason. It was a while before she answered, but eventually she did.

"… whatever was said… really affected Van. He's been… anxious."

"Well, you can't blame him." Yukari shrugged. "I mean, you can, he was still massively late—"

"Yukari."

"—however, he came face to face with the man that was trying to replace him. Anything Ishikawa-san would say would hurt. It will likely haunt him too. No matter what you say or how you reassure him… he's going to have to deal with these shadows and worries on his own."

"…" Hitomi's face crumpled, clearly distressed herself over this and Yukari held her hand and gave it a squeeze.

"Cheer up. You can't always fix things."

"I know I just… I hate that this is my fault."

"Don't. You both made poor choices, and this is just the result. It's no one's fault. It just is."

"But—"

Yukari shook her head and stepped around to stop Hitomi, pointing a finger in her nose. "No. No, 'buts'. This just is. Accept it, and deal with it."

"How?"

Yukari smiled warmly at Hitomi, amused that she seemed to be floundering in this when she was such a wealth of wisdom most of the time. She supposed this was why they were best friends. "Be there when he needs you. Trust him. Love him—though he doesn't deserve it—and let him work through it."

Hitomi's eyes widened and she seemed to think over her words a moment before lowering her head and laughing a little. "… why didn't I…?"

"Your just too close to the problem. It's like what you told me when I was worried about moving out to follow Susumu." Yukari pulled Hitomi back into movement. "I'm just returning the favor."

"What will I do without you?" The question was meant to be light-hearted but came with a weight that made both of them flinch. Yukari had to swallow hard to keep her composure.

"Find a way to contact me, and visit when you can." She said, eyes focused up ahead. She could have made a joke, but it didn't feel right to do that right now, and from the returned squeeze to her hand, Hitomi felt the same.

"That goes without saying…"

It wasn't enough, but it would have to suffice. Thankfully the conversation shifted when they passed by a baby shop and Hitomi dragged her inside to pick out a few new items. It was an obvious attempt to change the topic but she wasn't going to point it out. It was easier to pretend they weren't on a timer. She could and should enjoy what time she had left, just in case.

I'll never forgive him for taking them away… but, at least he let me have today.

Maybe one day she wouldn't hate Van so much, and maybe one day they could all hang out together again and catch up. Yukari truly hoped so, her eyes straying to the deceptively bright sky and cheery day.

Life really was too cruel sometimes.

XX

She hadn't expected much when she entered the house, but this was almost as bad as the disastrous mess she'd returned to the day before.

"!" Yukari snorted at her side, hands coming up to her mouth to stifle the laughing and Hitomi couldn't even manage a look her way due to shock.

"Mommy!" Anil came over, pouting and clearly annoyed. "Daddy and Allen won't let me have a turn. It's not fair, I showed them how to work it, and now they won't share!"

Yukari lost all composure at that and bent in half choking on her own amusement. The loud expulsion of air was nearly lost under the sound of the Game Cube's (5) characters battling upon the screen, and the competitive cries of the two grown men battling it out with Mario and Link (6). She had been reluctant to buy the battle royal game for Anil, but when Mamoru had asked for a game they could both play she caved. She was regretting that choice even more now.

When I told them to entertain Anil this was not what I meant…

Hitomi let out a sigh and patted Anil's head, trying not to get too angry. Reminding herself that Van had been surprisingly easy going with her choice to leave alone with Yukari. That couldn't have been easy. Besides, the only way they could have discovered this game was through Anil.

"That was a cheap shot!" Van all but shouted, eyes not once leaving the screen in which Mario had been attacked from behind and flung into the air. "You have no honor!"

"When was it declared that this was a gentleman's duel?" Allen said smugly, that was, until Van used a power up and blasted him with fireballs. "… what part of that is honorable?"

"Hm." Van was smirking and it was enough to make Hitomi roll her eyes.

Boys…

"Well, I'll leave you to handle this." Yukari said, unable to stop her chuckles.

"Yeah, right. Run away, coward."

Yukari grinned and patted Anil's head. "I'll see you tomorrow. Your parent's house right?"

Hitomi nodded and saw Yukari out before turning back to the man-children still in the death throw.

"… mommy?" Anil pouted, his eyes glossy and lower lip trembling with crocodile tears. She knew he was upset but he was putting on a show to get his own father in trouble. Hitomi found it quite amusing, but kept her expression blank as she stepped into the room and between the men and the TV.

"!" They both startled and froze when they saw her. She kept eye contact as she sternly reached down and pulled the power cord out of the outlet. As the screen behind her turned dark the men slowly lowered the controllers, pink creeping up their necks and ears.

She didn't have to say a word, and she didn't plan to. She stared them down until both men averted their gaze, hopefully realizing their mistakes. Only then did she nod her head and walk away addressing Anil instead of Van and Allen.

"Obaa-chan(7) will be here to pick you up soon, Vayu. Do you have your overnight bag packed?" Her words brought a flinch to Van which she ignored.

"… no. Will you help me mommy?"

"Of course."

As they were leaving the room she heard Allen clear his throat and say, "… I believe we got carried away."

The icy silence could only be Van glaring at Allen's ridiculous understatement and Hitomi stifled a laugh. If she did that now, they boys would never learn. But, the whole situation really was quite amusing.

"Daddy isn't allowed to play anymore. He doesn't know how to share."

"Of course. I'll make sure he doesn't play it while you are gone." She could barely get the words out without laughing.

Anil sighed, as though severely disappointed, and shook his head. He looked so much like a disappointed teacher that Hitomi was shaking with the effort to maintain a serious façade. It was almost a shame that the Game Cube couldn't be brought along with them.

Almost.

XX

Humiliation was eating him up along with mild shame, but there was very little Van could actually do about it. He had deserved the silent scolding that he had received and he was not going to act any more childish by denying his culpability. He had forgotten Anil in the rush and thrill of having a battle without actual physical exertion.

His competitiveness had quickly overcome his rationality as soon as Anil had shown both he and Allen how to control the images on the thing called a "TV". It had been cathartic for the tension that was still building as his own thoughts tried to undermine his calm. Last night had done wonders for his self-worth and pride, but when left to his own thoughts, his mind inevitably wandered back to yesterday's confrontation. His irritation was manageable and he knew that with time it would fade away entirely. It was simply too new right now, and the competition kept him from thinking about it.

That was foolish…

His eyes tracked Hitomi as she packed a bag with Anil, her smile bright and warm; her eyes only slightly distressed as she looked at their child. He could tell she was not completely comfortable with letting Anil out of her sight, and he felt a sense of pride that she was working so hard not to fall prey to that fear. She was brave, immeasurably so, and as he had thought once, years before, that strength and bravery came from her love for those around her.

He wasn't comfortable letting Anil leave with people he had never met, but they were Hitomi's parents and he wasn't so cruel as to deny them time with their grandson. Clearly, Hitomi's parents had kept the boy over night before without problem, and he was willing to trust Hitomi's judgement upon this. However, he could understand and commiserate with her anxiety on this point.

There was a sharp ringing sound; a bell, alerting them to the arrival of someone. Van was fairly certain he knew who it was, but followed the excited child as he ran to the door to open it to confirm.

"Anil, no running in the—oh, I give up…" Hitomi grumbled shaking her head with a smile as she followed behind, securing the bag. She looked his way and smiled and the two stood beside one another as Anil pulled the door open with a shout of joy.

"Obaa-Chan!"

"Ani-chan (8)!" The woman looked to be in her mid-forties, her hair was dark with a few soft grey strands. She was petite, her features soft and delicate and very reminiscent of those he had met while out with Hitomi the day before. Her dark brown eyes were filled with emotion and her arms shook as she embraced the child. "Oh goodness, I think you got taller while you were away…"

Van watched the loving interaction silently. Hitomi came up and also embraced her mother, speaking softly about what she had packed. He observed the way her mother gently cupped Hitomi's face and smiled. There was some kind of tender communication being made in the action. One Van couldn't decipher, but he had a feeling Hitomi's mother was comforting and reassuring her daughter in some way. This was further impressed by the way Hitomi appeared to relax the longer she talked.

"I'll have him call before bed." Hitomi's mother continued. "And we will be home most of the day. Feel free to call for any reason."

"Thank you, mom."

"Oh, my, you must be that Knight from Hitomi's stories." Hitomi's mother addressed Allen who had come in behind them.

"Allen Schezar." Allen perfected a bow with that flirtatious grace that made Van glower. Of course he would woo Hitomi's mother, Allen had an irritating manner about him like that. He was not surprised when Hitomi's mother flushed and smiled as he expected.

What is it that makes them do that?

"I am pleased to meet you."

At that point, the woman's eyes tracked to him, and Van straightened under her preview. He wondered what it was the woman thought of him, and he was uncomfortable with the prospects. He was taking her daughter and grandson away. With no set time or guarantee of return or visit. He now had seen firsthand, the effects a mother would suffer having lost her child from watching Hitomi, and this woman too had suffered that pain when Hitomi had gone with him after dragon hunting.

Hitomi only had to survive a week… this woman was without her daughter for six months…

Van felt his stomach churn with the realization that this woman had every reason to despise his very existence. After Yukari's and Fumio's response to him, he expected nothing less than censure and harsh reminders of his failings. He braced for it and was shocked stupid when the woman bowed at her waist toward him.

"!"

"Thank you. For protecting my daughter and returning her to us."

"…" Van didn't know what to say or even what he felt at the unexpected thanks he was receiving.

"… and thank you for bringing Anil back. I know it was in order to take them back with you, but I am grateful for this time."

"…" Van swallowed uncertain what to say. The words 'you are welcome' felt too arrogant, his silence seemed cold, and denying her thanks was simply rude. "… what else could I do?" He managed, though his voice had less conviction than he would have liked. "We are… family."

That was terribly presumptuous, but it was also true. Dryden's paperwork was legally binding. According to it this woman was his mother through law. Though, he doubted she knew that.

The woman rose, and there was a soft smile upon her face. It seemed genuine and put a small part of his concern at ease.

"I still wish to thank you."

"!" Van felt struck for some reason. This kindness was far more effective than anything else he had heard so far in dredging up his guilt and he felt unstable as the woman continued her emotional assault.

"We will meet again tomorrow, but I am Kanazaki Kyoko."

"Van Slanzar de Fanel." He returned out of habit.

"Van." Kyoko said his name with that same soft enunciation of the first letter, and while his mind was caught up in that fact, the woman made another bow. "Please continue to take care of my daughter and grandson."

"—yes! Of… of course…"

"Mom." Hitomi sounded choked up and thankfully drew Kyoko's attention away from him. He watched as Kyoko soothed her daughter and brought Anil's smile back with a grace and ease that left him feeling somehow even more gutted.

… I knew… but I didn't understand…

Van turned his gaze away from the scene before him, contemplating his own short-sightedness. He had known, of course he had, that Hitomi would be leaving her family behind. He had known this when she had made the promise to return to him seven years ago. He had known this would be the outcome when he planned to come and take her back with him. He had even cruelly planned to force her back to his side using their son as collateral. All the while, he knew she would be leaving her mother, her father, brother and friends. But, this was the first time he was actually aware of what it was he was asking her to sacrifice.

He knew the pain of losing his family, of not having their love, guidance and support. It had been so long since he'd lost it however, that he had not given it any serious thought. Seeing this woman; Kyoko, Hitomi's mother, who accepted his faults and the situation with only a plea that he do his duty, laid him low.

I am a bastard…

Van closed his eyes against the thought as listened as Koyko said her goodbyes. Anil ran up to give Hitomi and then him a hug and kiss. He only opened his eyes to accept his son and squeezed him tightly, his gaze trapped by the painfully kind eyes of his mother-in-law. She nodded once, as though she knew just what she had done with her acceptance and kindness. Perhaps she did, and this had been her way of chastising him. If it was, it explained Hitomi's eerie intelligence and poise.

Kyoko knew he couldn't let them go; she wasn't asking him to, but she was making him aware of the weight of what he was asking.

… I will make them happy.

Van's silent promise was made as their gaze locked one final time, and though he couldn't be certain his intent had been conveyed, Kyoko had smiled when she led Anil out of the house. Van watched as the woman secured Anil into the contraption Hitomi called a car, alongside Hitomi.

She was now chewing her lower lip, fingers twisting in clear anxiety. Van reached out and slipped his arm around her waist tugging her to his side. Those green eyes turned to him clearly shocked, and he watched as her expression softened and she leaned against him. The physical action of relying on him filled his chest with warmth and tightened his throat with sudden desire.

He did not deserve this, yet he was gifted it all the same, and it filled him with so many feelings, he could not give name to them all. Words were inadequate, and he could think of only one way to convey his gratitude, love, remorse and promise.

It took only once glance.

As soon as his eyes locked with Allen's, the man's brows rose up sharply, he smirked, and then silently turned and walked away with a single hand raised to confirm he intended to make himself scarce. The car pulled away while this took place and Hitomi sighed turning further into his arms.

"… it feels lonely already." She sighed, prompting Van to hold her closer. He pulled her gently toward him and out of the doorway to close the door. It provided a bit of privacy as well as a way of putting distance between Hitomi and the choice that was making her upset.

"… tomorrow will come soon enough."

Van gently rubbed her back, soothing her and pulling her flush against him. It felt good and he knew it also helped steady her. Her arms encircled him and they stood that way for some time. After a while Hitomi drew in a large breath and exhaled sharply as though releasing all of her thoughts and tension in the single action and then she pulled back as though to break their contact. Van was reluctant but let her slip away, though his hands remained upon her hips.

Hitomi was smiling, her cheeks slightly flushed. "Thank you, Van, I thought I would be prepared…" her words trailed off when she moved to step back and Van stepped closer into her space. His fingers pressed into her hips and held her still, disallowing her to move completely away. "… Van?"

He knew he was being unreasonable, and from her position, it would seem his actions were coming from nowhere, all the same, he couldn't seem to stop them. He was alone with Hitomi, last night's interruption had been frustrating and now he knew it wouldn't happen again. He was also riding the emotional high after realizing just how much Hitomi was doing for their future together. He needed to hold her, to express his feelings with more than just words.

He leaned in and pressed his lips against hers, gently; softly in askance. She jumped a bit, pulling back and looking around her, cheeks flushed an adorable red. "Wait! Allen is—?"

It seemed Hitomi only just realized that Allen was nowhere to be seen. Van smiled as she continued to look around in confusion. Van stepped closer, pressing their bodies back together and against the door they had just left, bringing her full attention back to him.

"!" She looked quite confused, but her eyes were wide and the pupils had grown to consume most of the green of her iris; he could tell she was very interested.

"… I wish to be very unreasonable…" He admitted softly, pressing his forehead to her own and waiting to see what her response would be. As much as he wanted this, he was aware of how nervous she had been just last night. If she wasn't ready, he would wait, of course, but he wanted her to know that he wanted more.

Hitomi's cheeks flushed and a small smile curled her lips. A huff of breath that sounded surprisingly like a laugh escaped her. Before Van could be offended, she looked around, as though ensuring they were alone, then grabbed his hand tightly and all but dragged him in to her bedroom.

Van couldn't have stopped the grin that covered his face for anything. It was so satisfying to know she was just as desperate as he was. He closed the door behind him with a little more control than he'd shown the night before, and stripped his shirt from himself swiftly.

Hitomi was chewing on her lower lip as she watched him. She didn't look hesitant, but she also wasn't stripping off her clothes as he was, so Van paused as he was unbuttoning his pants to ask, "Is this okay?"

"?"

She looked so cute in her confusion, and Van smiled, stepping up and helping her to remove her top, slowly, in case she answered him in the negative. She made no resistance however, her hand moving to touch his chest, stroking his skin and sending ticklish sensations skittering over his nerves.

"… Hitomi, I want to be certain… you are okay with—" He was cut short when Hitomi shrugged out of her shirt and pressed close wrapping her arms around his neck, her fingers tangling in his hair and pulled his head down into a deep, desperate kiss. He responded with a groan, his hands moving to her hips, tugging her sharply against him.

Her lips parted from his to whisper words that set his blood on fire, "… did you forget? I like it when you are unreasonable." She followed her statement up with a nip to his lower lip which shattered the last of his control.

A deep groan escaped him as he hauled Hitomi against him, crushing her lips to his own and pushed his tongue into her mouth. With their tongues tangling sensually, Van lifted her up; her legs instinctually wrapping around his hips and walked them to the bed.

Their drop upon the surface was reminiscent of their activities the night before, and brought a grin to his face as Hitomi gasped and ground up against him as they pressed intimately together. Her fingertips pressed into his skin and tried to pull him even closer. Every action of hers was positive and fanned the flames hotter.

He wanted to linger, and tease, but he was far too tightly strung. "…I can't… next time…"

He grumbled as he made quick work of their clothes. Hitomi didn't seem too displeased as she grinned, helping him by removing her bra and pants while he awkwardly removed his clothes. It wasn't the finesse he had wanted to display, but it got the job done, he supposed, and when he slid back against her, the glide of her skin against his own was enough to make him forget nearly everything else.

The warm, silky feel of her, the soft give of her feminine figure and the drag of her toes up the back of his calf as her thighs encircled him, drawing him against her made his breath hitch and heart race.

Oh thank Gaea…

His lips descended to kiss, nip and mark every inch of her pale skin that he could reach. He relished in the moans and soft sighs that escaped as he suckled the skin of her throat, his hands lifting to cup, and mold her perfect breasts to his palms. His fingers pinched and gently rolled the puckered tips, which made her press more urgently against him, a fine tremor was growing in her body, felt wherever they touched and Van felt a deep pride in being the cause of that.

Her fingers gripped his hair as he lowered to kiss her collar bone, chest and then paused to look down at the breasts he had captured in his palms. They were the same as he remembered. They fit perfectly in his hands, firm and yet giving. Her nipples had turned a lovely caramel color which, while different from the soft pink from before, was no less alluring. He was especially pleased with the color when he considered her words about how baring his child had left these permanent marks upon her.

It was a little sadistic, he supposed, but he found every mark she had been worried about deliciously sensual. It was visual proof that she was his, she had given birth to his child, and he had irrevocably marked her. The things she found embarrassing, where unbelievably sexy to him. Of course, he would never say it so plainly. Instead, he worshiped the changes, pressing kisses to the iridescent scars, barely perceptible along the sides of her breast, he suckled tenderly upon the changed nipples, hands smoothing over her sides, hips and stomach as she clung to his hair and cried out his name in panted breaths.

His fingers tripped over every mark that had been left behind, and it made him ache for her even more. She was beautiful, amazing and wonderful and most importantly; undeniably his. He wished he could bare her marks as proudly, perhaps she would be less self-conscious if he could. Though, spending the rest of their lives proving how much he liked her form wasn't a bad alternative either.

"Still okay?"

"…"

"I can't continue if you don't answer." It was a plea and a threat all in one. Van was grateful when she reacted to it swiftly, clearly as displeased with the idea of stopping as he was.

"…uhm…. do I… do I look…" He words trailed off and she licked her lips. Watching her tongue he wanted to follow it, but refrained. He had another goal in mind, and it would seem he hadn't done a good enough job in worshiping her body as she still doubted his sincerity. He was a little disgruntled at that, but decided to take it as a challenge. "… do you mind—oh!"

She let out a surprised sound when Van press a hand under her and lifted her into an arch to press his lips to the underside of her breasts where he could see those lovely trails of glitter across her skin. She gasped, hands once more in his hair. He made sure to kiss only where those marks were for several minutes; kissing, tracing with his tongue and teeth.

"Oh! V—van!" At her cry, Van finally paused.

Hitomi was flushed darkly, her hands pressed to her cheeks as though to hide her desire and lewdness. It wasn't working.

"… you are as beautiful as when you gave me your gift."

Her eyes widened at his words, growing glossy with her emotions as she whispered his name, the accent making his muscles tense and twitch. "Van…"

"… do you trust me?"

"…" Hitomi couldn't seem to speak but nodded her head sharply and watched with wide eyes as Van grinned and then moved.

Her legs were trembling as he leaned up, pressing kisses to her thighs and lower belly, pulling up and over her until they were properly aligned. Drawing her eyes to his, he stroked her cheek lovingly, "I want you."

Hitomi's eyes seemed to shake, and she returned the tender touches to his face. "I… I think… we both need this."

Van sighed, leaning in to kiss her, one hand lowering to properly position himself, but was stopped by a soft touch to his lips. He froze, confused on why she was stalling.

Is she still worried?

"Uh…. Uhm… I might not… that is, I've had a baby and… well…"

Van frowned, not following what she was trying to say. Hitomi's eyes looked away and she swallowed hard, eyes closing.

"Hitomi?"

"… I might not feel as… you might not…" She was really struggling to say the words but from the way her hand made motions toward her lower half Van thought he might know what she was trying to imply.

Oh. Is she worried she won't be as… tight?

Van felt his own cheeks heat at his thought and he almost laughed. Thankfully, he didn't, as she might have taken it wrong, but he was certain she was more than tight enough for him. He kissed her tenderly, his fingers tracing her cheeks and throat. He coaxed her gently, until her tension at receded and she was once more wrapping herself around him pleasantly.

"… there is only one way to find out." He whispered into her ear. "Let me."

His fingers returned to touch her and Hitomi gasped directly; hotly, into his ear and he pushed his fingers inside.

"… you feel so good…" He said, despite the embarrassment of the words. It was thrilling and a little heady to speak such things, and if the way she arched against him was any indication, she liked it. Well, if that was all it would take to reassure her, Van was willing to tell her exactly how she felt around him.

Again, he positioned himself, his fingers sliding free, holding her open and acting as a guide. Once aligned he paused, looking to Hitomi for permission. She still seemed nervous, but she lifted her arms around his neck, and drew him back into a deep kiss.

He enjoyed the kiss, and sank slowly inside of her. He felt her tighten and clutch at him in surprise and possible discomfort and he forced his body to still.

He pulled back from the kiss, trembling and breathing harshly. "… gods Hitomi…" He intended to ask if she was okay but what came out instead was, "… so good…"

Hitomi gasped, her legs tightening on his sides. Her arms clutching at him in a desperate hold. She turned and pressed kisses to his shoulder and neck. "Van… please…"

He grunted, hands running down her sides as he returned the kisses, still holding back from moving, giving her time to adjust. He didn't want to hurt her, though his actions before might have been a bit too zealous.

"… please… Van."

"?" He turned to kiss her temple, stroking her, when she pressed her feet to the mattress and pushed up against him.

"… I need you… Van."

And all reason dissipated.

This was the single most beautiful experience he could imagine. Sharing the same breath, the same feelings, the same space. This still wasn't enough to express the depth of feeling he felt for her, but it was as close as he could get. Words simply weren't enough, neither were the actions, but it was all they had. So he clung to her, touched her sweetly, coaxed her lovingly until their hearts beat together rapidly, and finally, when he couldn't hold it off anymore, he felt her body convulse around him, her arms and legs gripping him tightly as Hitomi cried out his name and fell into pleasure, dragging him like a siren over the edge with her.

His body trembled at the intimacy of the moment, and he gasped as slowly they both came down from the physical and emotional high. His body felt pleasantly spent, his sweat was a cool dampness upon him, and watching as Hitomi struggled to regain her breath beneath him was wonderful. Van helped her to lower her leg from his shoulder and he gently pulled her with him as he slipped to the side so as not to crush her.

"I love you." She whispered, hugging him close. The tender words filled him with joy but also reminded him of what had started this. He traced his fingers along her spine and over the leg she still hand propped on his hip.

"… thank you, Hitomi."

"Hm?"

"… thank you for telling Anil about me… for waiting… for… for giving all of this up…" He swallowed hard, his throat feeling dry and thick. "I know how much you are sacrificing for me. Your family, your home… I… want you to know I—"

Her fingertips stalling his lips and the words he spoke, and he was forced to look into those lovely green eyes that had stolen his breath the very first time he saw them.

"Did you forget?" Hitomi whispered, rising up and over him. Her tender words enveloped him and dragged him down into a feeling of contentment so great, he didn't mind drowning.

"This… right here." Her fingers caressed his chest directly over his heart. "This is my life… my home… you are the only place I ever wanted to be."

He captured her lips then, pulling her close and this time, they made love slowly as he had intended.

XX

Allen sighed as the soft sounds from inside the house started up again and he moved further into the yard. He could understand their feelings and desire to be together, but he was also unnerved to have to hear it firsthand. If he had somewhere to go it wouldn't be so awkward, but as it was, all he could do was practice and move through his sword routines and pray this ended soon.

They have to get tired at some point don't they?

Allen sighed, and debated if he should risk going inside and calling for Hitomi's friends to get him away for the night. He decided against it as that would mean he'd have to hear the sounds more clearly. That was something he truly didn't want to do. He might have gotten over his misplaced affections for Hitomi, but he still thought of her as someone very much like a sister. One did not want to hear their sister making love.

Allen made a face and moved further away until he stood under the fruit tree in the yard. Anil had said that the orange tinged fruit weren't yet ripe but would be soon. He was curious as to what they would taste like. They looked similar to a fruit that was often imported from Egzardia, and he had always enjoyed their soft, sweet flavor. For some reason, he wanted this fruit to be the same. Perhaps he was homesick and looking for similarities to ease that feeling.

I wonder how Celena is doing?

Allen sighed, reaching up to touch the fruit. Celena too had enjoyed the odd fruit. He made a note to pick up some upon their return to Asturia. His eyes were then drawn to the sky where he could see his home world rise. It was a uniquely sad and awe inspiring sight, and thankfully it helped him to forget what was taking place in the home behind him.

There were some things better left unknown.

A.N. Poor, poor Allen. I take way too much enjoyment in making him uncomfortable. Anyway, I hope you all enjoyed this chapter and if anyone wants to read the unabridged story feel free to email your request to oceanwind1224 at gmail dot com.

1) So, once again, I know this may seem to be a sudden shift in his thought process, but having gone through a long distance relationship with very little communication, I can tell you it isn't. It hurts too much to think about them and know you can't really talk or interact with them. So, you keep busy and try not to think about them until you can talk. In this case, Van can't even do that. And what he is receiving from her is stagnant and more painful than if there was no communication at all. He doesn't want to blame Hitomi unjustly so, he's keeping his mind on work. I hope this is clear, but just in case it isn't, I'm placing this note.

2) As of 2013, pepper spray and mace and tasers are illegal in japan to be carried. There is a loophole that states that a woman can carry concealed pepper spray ONLY if she can prove it is necessary aka if she is being stalked and has filed a complaint or if she works late at night and has been accosted etc. If a person is foundto be carrying any object that can/is meant to cause bodily harm to another human being they can be fined or temporarily imprisoned ( blog. gaijinpot creepus-pervertialis-facts-practical-tips-dealing-stalking/) minus the spaces. So, yes, I know Yukari wouldn't actually have this on her person, however, I still liked the flow of this conversation however unrealistic and wanted to keep it. Sorry, to anyone reading this who was upset by this deviation from reality.

3) To make up for the previous dereliction of facts, I have added this. The case of Shiori Ino changed how the police force in Japan dealt with stalking cases. It is mentioned in the last link I supplied but here is the wiki page for all of you who are curious: ( blog . gaijinpot creepus-pervertialis-facts-practical-tips-dealing-stalking/) I place spaces after every period btw.

4) My mother tells me this everytime I call her crying about how my poor boys are going to need therapy because I suck at 'this mom thing'. I'm not sure if it's true for everyone, but it certainly feels like it for me. I never feel like I'm good enough for the blessing that is my boys and I always feel like I'm not doing enough. I think it's the downside of being a parent. You love them SOOO much that, you feel like you just can't do them justice. LOL but maybe that's just my own neurosis.

5) The Game cube came out September 14, 2001. It is possible that a few years later, Hitomi could have saved enough to get one for Anil. Not sure if culturally it was as typical for households to have a gaming system, and I'm pretty sure none of you care about that, so, yes, Hitomi bought Anil a Nintendo Game Cube.

6) Super Smash Brothers Mele also came out for the Game Cube console in 2001, so I figured it was possible for Anil to own this as it isn't as violent as other battle games but it would provide both an outlet as well as a probable way for this scene to work. Because let's face it, Allen and Van battling to the death on a gaming console is hilarious… and very probable ( www. ssbwiki Super_Smash_Bros ._(series)).

7) Pretty sure everyone knows this one but just in case, Obaa-san/chan is japanese for Grandmother. Its usually Obaa-san, as chan is typically reserved for young children, but I wanted to use chan so I did. Also, I went with the Japanese term because I know my boys call my mother Nana and my mother-in-law Mimi instead of grandma, since I'm fairly certain most of my readers are English speaking, I felt using Obaa-chan instead of Grandma would give that same feeling of a "nickname" that Nana or Mimi have.

8) Another nickname this time for Anil. It has no special meaning just a shortening of his name and the suffix for small children.