Four Years

by Oceanwind1224

"Four Years... if you still... I'll wait." It was a promise whispered in the night, between sheets, warmed breath and hopefully innocent hearts. Seven years later things have fallen apart and now only the consequences of their actions can hope to mend the damages done, but is it already too late? (Hitomi/Van)

29. Chapter 28

A.N. HAPPY FATHER'S DAY! I hope today is/was as great one for you and your loved ones. Well, here we are with chapter 28. I hope you are all continueing to enjoy this story and don't feel like I have lost any of it in the jumping around. While I could have spent another ten or so chapters slowly detailing out Hitomi's struggles to adapt and make her own way, I didn't think anyone would really want to read that, and honestly, I didn't want to write it. It will take time for her to adjust so, I hope to show that in a few highlighted scenes over the next three chapters as we conclude this adventure.

Disclaimer: I do not own The Vision of Escaflowne nor any of the characters therein, this is non-profit, fan-made fun.

XX

"Dare to be imperfect and one day there will tug at your sleeve a soulmate."

-Robert Brault

XX

Chapter 28: Imperfect Dare

XX

13 June, 1997

Earth

XX

The hospital room seemed far too large, too sterile and too harsh to be comfortable. Hitomi actually felt as though the room itself would swallow her whole; simply erase her from existence and memory. Her arms tightened protectively around the small infant wrapped in blankets and a diaper who currently rested in her arms as though through that touch she could keep them from such a fate.

He had soft tufts of dark black hair, his face and arms were pudgy and only now, 12 hours after birth, was his skin looking normal. It was pinkish, and tender, his face a puckered somewhat angry expression but the chalky residue was washed away from his body, and the mottled coloring from the birthing canal had faded. It was infinitely cute, his pouty expression, and she swore she saw Van in every line of this baby's face; of course, that could just be due to the hormones and the fact that she wanted it to be so.

Her eyes stung and her face crumpled as more tears fell silently. She was scared. So terribly, irrevocably terrified and she felt all alone. Logically she knew she wasn't; her mother was down in the cafeteria getting food to eat while they waited to be discharged. Yukari had come along to the hospital with her when Anil had broken her water yesterday afternoon while the two had been out shopping for last minute baby things. At home her father and brother awaited her return so she wasn't physically alone, she understood that. Her mother had even stayed with her over night at the hospital even after Anil had been safely delivered and she had been placed in a room to recover. She wasn't alone, yet Hitomi still felt that way; like something vital was missing.

Born at 12:13 in the morning… Friday the thirteenth…

She hid her face in the blanket and warmth of her tiny baby. He smelled of sterile cotton, the baby wipes and something she couldn't quite name. The blanket soaked up her tears and her baby slept peacefully against her despite the trembling, hiccupping, and near-silent sobs.

She wanted Van to be here. She had told herself she could do this, told herself that she would be fine on her own for four years, longer if Van never came for them, but the reality that had crashed down upon her after fourteen hours of labor following Anil breaking her water (1), was that, she was poorly qualified to actually do that.

She was sore, she was bleeding and cramping, her chest hurt from trying to breast feed, her nipples were already sore and she was informed it was normal and that she might feel like her nipples were being cut open by razors later before she adjusted to it(2). She was so sleepy her head felt like it was bloated and her eyes ached, but Anil cried every time her eyes began to slide closed, requiring to be fed, burped and changed every two hours. She wasn't supposed to sleep while holding him in her arms, but he didn't seem to like lying in the bassinet near her bed.

Logically, she knew that Anil would sleep, and she would adjust, but in this moment, surrounded by cold impersonal and uncaring white sheets and metal accents, it felt like what she now faced was impossible, never ending and that this was what the rest of her life would be; exhausted, over-whelmed and alone. She would never be comfortable, never sleep and never feel happy again.

A soft sob escaped her and she snuffled, shivering in her own misery.

… this is… just… because I've given birth… I'm… I'm fine… we are…

The link warmed with the sensation of concerned question and Hitomi sobbed harder for it. Van was so far away, she knew he cared but that care right now made her angry. He should be here, holding his son helping her to find her footing and reassuring her that everything would be okay. That together, they would make it through all of this… but he wasn't; couldn't be, and she was left with a choking bitterness.

The tiny newborn shifted and wriggled, and a small cry escaped. It didn't sound like the baby cries she'd heard in the parks and stores or on TV shows and movies. It sounded less human and more animal for some reason (3). It made her heart beat faster and she scrambled to check over her precious miracle.

"Shhh… it's okay, it's okay, baby, mommy is here." Hitomi shushed gently, uncertain if she was doing it right, especially when that scrunched face only continued to cry. "Oh… I'm sorry… I'm sorry little baby… I know I'm not good at this… but I promise I'll learn quickly."

Hitomi rocked gently and when that failed, she checked his diaper. He'd peed so she laid the squalling baby into the plastic bassinet he hated and struggled to her feet. Everything below her waist ached and stung, and her hemorrhoids from how long she'd pushed with no results were honestly the worst part of it. She had witch hazel pads pressed to her swollen flesh and the thick pad to soak up the blood from post-delivery and the combination made walking awkward. Her body felt foreign and strange, her stretchmarks were dark red and her skin on her belly felt and looked strange; still puffy but saggy and wrinkly like a slowly deflating balloon.

Hitomi tried not to think about the changes that made her feel insecure and gross than the blood and swollen tissues below her waist already did. She managed to change Anil with little fuss, being careful to fold down the front of the diaper to avoid touching the scab on his belly button where the umbilical cord had been cut and clamped. His cries lessened as he was swaddled and then he calmed once she had managed to get back upon the bed and pulled him into her arms. It probably helped that she adjusted both of them for feeding and he latched on with gusto. Hitomi winced at the pain but breathed through it patting the precious child's back and tried to focus on the fact that Anil was here, alive, healthy and, she hoped, happy.

… Friday's child is loving and giving… (4)

The old nursery rhyme she had found on the internet returned to her as she watched her feeding baby, and she hoped it proved to be true. She desperately wanted Anil to be a kind child, like his father.

I hope you will always be happy my baby… no matter what the future may hold…

Lost, scared and alone with this child who needed her to be strong, Hitomi promised herself, that she would not fail her son. Somehow, someway, she would protect her son, and she would ensure he became happy.

"I love you Anil… my… my Vayu." She whispered. More tears filling her eyes. "… and if your daddy could be here… he'd say the same…" Her free hand gently traced his nose and forehead, his soft, warm skin, a minor comfort to her.

"We will be fine, you and I… until daddy comes for us. We will be strong."

Her promise filled the silence, weaker than she would have liked, but a mantra that would bolster her when she felt overwhelmed. Anil had her, and her parents, and really she wasn't alone, but he would need her strength most of all, so, she knew she had to become stronger; she couldn't let herself crumble. There was no time to cry and wait for someone to rescue her, or some miracle to arrive. She needed to pull herself up and trudge forward despite her lacking ability and broken heart and somehow, in some way she needed to become that miracle for Anil.

Like Van when Fanelia was burned…

Hitomi's smile was fragile when her mother opened the door, and when questioned she lied, saying Anil was simply too beautiful and she had to cry. She wasn't ready to admit the truth aloud, and maybe, if she denied it long enough, eventually it would become true.

XX

24 September, 2003

Gaea

XX

It was finally the day. Hitomi stood in the room she and Van shared, arms wrapped around her waist, and looked out the window at the bright sky. Today, the heads of the fiefs arrived, which included Emos and Idus. This was also the day Millerna, Chid and Allen would leave.

Hitomi let out a sigh, her hands gripping the fine fabric of the patterned and bright dress she was garbed in. Van had helped her chose the outfit for the day. He of course had liked her in all of the dresses, and they had wasted far too much time this morning as he'd felt the need to show her how much he appreciated her appearance after returning from breakfast.

Of course, she wasn't complaining about any of that, still, looking down at the bright cloth and the layers that crisscrossed around her figure reminded her of the loving way he'd kissed and held her. It had done wonders for her self-esteem and nerves, however, it could not halt the progression of time, and she would greatly miss the company of her friends and no matter the reassurances she would be nervous of the impending confrontation.

The past three days had settled into a pattern which she had already grown accustomed to. She followed Anil and Van to their flying lessons, they ate breakfast with the rest as a group after which Anil would go with Merle and she would follow Van to his office to talk about what needed to be done and how things were progressing in regards to the impending issues Fanelia would face. Then she would go to have tea with Bora and Sorna before taking lunch with Anil and saving Merle from her 'demon spawn'.

She also tried to take the time to explore and meet those who worked in the castle which included the knights. Trent was friendly and kind. He had taken time to introduce her and Anil to those working with him and had explained much of the routine and tasks that the knights performed to her without censure. Gaho, while more stern and quiet had also been a wealth of information and Hitomi thought that he didn't think her too annoying.

I'm ready… Van will be there… Rome wasn't built in a day… I can take things one step at a time…

Hitomi breathed slowly, closing her eyes and remembering Van's words from the night before. She had grown far too accustomed to trying to do everything on her own and it was surprisingly difficult to rely on another. It was nice to have Van's support, but she found she needed to remind herself of said support more often than not.

I can take my time and learn it slowly… Van will be there if I stumble…

She was certain that she and Van had prepared for this meeting with the council, and all of her suggestions had been assessed and properly vetted. When they spoke to the heads of the fiefs, not only would they have plans and step by step procedures for them to implement over the winter and early spring months, but those plans would be given by her.

This would secure her position and her credentials and would be vital to building the respect she would need as queen. Van and Millerna had assured her of this and she trusted them, but that didn't lessen her worries. For all of the praise and whatnot that Van and Millerna gave her for her 'unique' ideas, Hitomi herself was well aware that they were not technically her own. She was merely suggesting basic damage control implemented back home on earth in cases of natural disasters such as floods, droughts, landslides and the like.

Honestly, it was likely nothing that hadn't been thought of or implemented to some degree already by previous rulers. All she was suggesting was a generalized and mass education and formal implementation of such precautions. She honestly felt a little like a scammer.

She let out a large sigh, releasing her middle and shaking out her hands as though she could shake off her worries so easily. "Get it together, Kanzaki."

The chiding pep-talk was slightly mollifying and it brought a smile to her face, reminiscent of her time on the track team when she psyched herself out before a race. It had also been her method for motivating her own students.

Today would be difficult, but she knew she'd survive it, and this was just the starting line, the race hadn't even begun. She needed to keep her head in the game if she wanted to even hope to place, let alone win. "Get it together. You are already legally the… Queen. Act like it."

She patted both her cheeks sharply to shake the last of her nerves free and to focus on the here and now. She could feel overwhelmed later, when she could hide in Van's arms and where no one would judge her. Right now she needed to fake it until then. She'd done it enough times over the last seven years, it should be relatively easy.

Right! Let's find Van.

Hitomi turned from the window and nearly screamed, her heart leaping first up her throat and then falling to her feet upon seeing the thin, willowy girl in the doorway.

"!" Hitomi's hand flew to her chest as she gaped openly at Celena. The girl had made no sound and was simply staring at her.

How long was she..?

"… erm… H—hello, Celena." She managed to smile, reminding herself that this woman was still dealing with the trauma of her experiences and needed to be treated kindly and with respect. She might have some rather frightening and startling quirks, but it would help her more if Hitomi did not try to correct her behavior right now, and instead, treated her as she would anyone else until Celena knew her better. It wasn't her place to lecture. "Did you need something?"

Celena's expression didn't change. She seemed to stare right through her for a long while. Hitomi pretended she didn't notice nor was she unnerved.

"Did you come to say goodbye?" Her smile was warm as she moved to join the girl in the doorway, however, as soon as she moved, Celena seemed to have come to her own decision, as she turned and walked calmly away. She didn't even seem to care that she nearly bowled Van over as she left, causing him to dodge to the side awkwardly.

Van stared after the girl who disappeared like fog before turning back to Hitomi with a puzzled expression. "Were you two talking?"

"… maybe?"

"?"

Hitomi laughed and shook her head, "I think she was saying goodbye. She never actually said…"

"… she does that." Van admitted looking uncomfortable. "You ready?"

Van's concern was pleasant, and Hitomi was able to smile honestly, reaching out and taking his hand, linking their fingers together. She had just decided to seek him out, it was rather gratifying that he had come to her when she wanted him. He was so patient with her, even providing her this time to collect herself before officially seeing off their friends and that help her to find her balance.

Thank you, Van… for everything.

"… yes."

They walked out of the room together and it wasn't until much later that Hitomi realized that thanks to Celena and Van, she had forgotten her unease and nervousness.

XX

Goodbye. It was the worst word he had ever known. Especially now as he was saying it far too often too many times and to people of whom he loved.

"… I don't want you to go…" Anil pouted, head lowered and lower lip trembling. He was acting poorly, he knew, but he didn't like this one bit. "… can't you stay?"

Celena looked surprised as she looked down on him. She was wearing pants and a loose shirt, like his mother wore when he and daddy went flying in the morning. Her pale blonde hair was the color of sunshine on winter mornings and when she smiled, it reminded him of Ni. Maybe that was why he liked her so much.

Celena was still smiling and it made him feel happy that he could bring that to his first friend's face, even as he knew that look was there because she was about to tell him, 'no'.

"… did you not meet anyone worth your time outside the walls?"

She was talking about the walls of the palace. She had told him before, that now that he was free to speak to the children outside he should find those worth his time and make as many good friends as possible. He had thought she was speaking much the same way as Folken, Ni and Va did. Because of that, and the fact that Celena was someone who understood, he had listened, and there were many kids he had met yesterday, more than a few were from the orphanage his daddy was in charge of.

They had all been very nice. He believed that maybe he would be able to make friends this time, but, they would never be as special as his first. Celena understood his abilities, and as awesome as the other kids had seemed, he doubted any of them would understand that. Much like he doubted anyone would understand his wings.

"… I did… but, I'm going to miss you… so will Jeture."

"We are not so far apart. Friends will always be there when you need them." Celena offered, her eyes gaining that odd distant look Anil knew meant she was remembering or seeing something else. As if to prove his thoughts right, she asked, her face a little distant. "… are you still dreaming?"

"… I don't think I'll be having them much anymore." Anil admitted sadly, remembering what Ni had said.

"… does that make you sad?" Celena seemed confused by his reaction. He supposed she didn't have someone like Folken to help her through her dreams, or her visions or whatever it was that she wanted to call her abilities.

"… yes?"

Celena seemed further confused but accepted his answer, nodding her head and petting the top of his head. "… brother always says, when one door closes, you just need to open another."

Anil had heard that before, he still wasn't entirely sure what that meant or if he even liked it, but he knew she was trying to comfort him, so Anil smiled and nodded his head. "This isn't goodbye forever, right?"

Celena smiled and nodded. He thought she seemed proud of him, though he couldn't be certain. In any case, he chose to take comfort from her expression.

"… what about you? Are you okay with yours?"

The blue eyes softened and she leaned in giving him a hug. "Yes."

"That's good." Anil felt very pleased and relieved that his friend seemed to be okay. "But just in case… you know, just because you're older, doesn't mean you can't go to your brother. He might not understand… but if he keeps them away…" Anil gave a shrug as the hug ended halfway through the hold.

Celena nodded. "… you too." Her eyes traveled to his parents who were saying goodbye to the others. She had a weird expression, he wasn't sure if it was sad, scared or happy. It was very strange, but she looked away before he could think about it too much. "Take care."

"Wait!" He called out as she turned to leave. He'd come here for a reason, and he was determined to see it through. He pulled Balgus up front holding the tattered dragon out to his friend. "I… I want you to keep him. He's good at keeping monsters away."

Celena blinked her eyes slowly as she looked the dragon stuffy over. "But… he is your defender."

"… yeah but you gave me yours… I… I wanted to help too." Celena smiled and her hands covered his own over the dragon. But instead of accepting, she gently pressed his arms back and against his chest.

"Thank you. But I think you should keep him… in case there is another who may need him more."

Another?

"… who—?" he tried to ask but was interrupted by a shout from closer to the leviship where his parents and the others stood.

"Celena! It's time to go." Allen was watching her in the same way his mother had always watched him. Anil could see how much the knight loved and worried his sister, and he felt reassured that his friend would be protected.

"Goodbye—"

"No. Its, see you later (5)." Anil grinned, squeezing Balgas tightly as he corrected her.

"See you later."

With that, he watched his first friend board the airship. He stood between his parents as he watched it lift and depart. He felt a little sad, rather like he had when leaving Earth. He also felt a little hopeful. Celena had returned his friendly statement, and he believed that they would meet again, but that didn't lessen the sadness at her departure now.

… it's okay. This isn't goodbye.

Anil smiled, holding Balgus and waved at the departing ship.

… it is only goodbye for now…

XX

It felt a little strange to be leaving Fanelia. It was only a week, but it seemed to have been a lot longer than that. Allen supposed it was all due to the events that had taken place during said seven days; the revelations, the planning, the bizarre stay on the Mystic Moon, and the last three days back in Fanelia itself.

Thank Gaea it's over.

The epithet felt deeper somehow, and brought a smile to his face. He'd moved to the large windows where Celena, Millerna and Chid stood watching and waving goodbye to the small figures of the Fanelian royal family who were watching their departure.

"… and that's it." Millerna said, her arm lowering, a sad expression upon her face. "… it feels like we hardly had time to say hello."

"We will be back within a year." Allen said flippantly. "… Van won't wait. He'll have a coronation if only to shut up those nobles."

Millerna laughed. "That's true… though it's a shame that there won't be an actual royal wedding."

"Do you think either of them would really want one?" Chid asked, his head cocked to the side. "… I always thought that it would be more tiresome for them."

Millerna pouted, clearly feeling like it was a tragedy and Allen shook his head, taking note of his sister who was still staring at the distant speck that was the docking port they had just left. She had seemed tense ever since their return, and now, as he watched, her shoulders slumped visibly.

"Celena?" He asked softly, ignoring the prattle of Millerna as she tried to explain to Chid the importance of a grand wedding. As he moved alongside his sister he was shocked and worried to find her eyes glassy with unshed tears. He placed a hand upon her shoulder, worried and wishing to help.

"… it feels like… something has finally ended." She whispered, her voice frail and small, it reminded him of how she called out to him that first time on the battlefield after the fall of Zaibach's schemes. His stomach tightened in fear and he had increased his hold upon her shoulder by the time that tiny voice continued, her gaze still set upon Fanelia.

"… it's like… closure. I think… maybe… but," She paused and finally her eyes left the capital city built into the mountain to look directly at him. His breath caught, and his own eyes stung slightly. She looked… different.

Allen wasn't sure what it was, perhaps it was the look in her eyes, or the clear emotion she wore openly on her face. She often times was rather difficult to read, but right now, it felt as though he was finally seeing his sister though he'd been wholly unaware of being shut out until this moment.

"…!"

"… but I don't know why." Tears began to fall from her eyes and Allen was unsure of how to proceed. Celena had rarely cried since her return. He'd only really ever seen them when she woke from a nightmare, and even now those times were few and far between. Her tears now, spoke to just how emotional she felt about this parting.

This isn't the first time we have left Fanelia…

Allen was aware that Celena had felt some kind of connection with Anil, but he was left to wonder if that connection ran deeper than he had thought. Unable to understand, Allen moved closer and pulled her into a hug, which she readily returned. It was nice, she had hugged him openly now twice in the span of three days. He had missed this affection from her and, though he did not like the impetus behind it, he nonetheless was grateful for the familial gesture. The conversation behind him had stilled, but he didn't bother to look and see if the others were watching or listening.

"… that is a good thing, isn't it?" He asked carefully, gently rubbing her back. Celena slowly nodded her head though Allen had the impression that perhaps she herself was terribly unsure of that. He sighed, worried anew. Celena had always behaved oddly around Van. There had been rumors that Celena was in love with the King of Fanelia. He himself had been concerned of that very reason, however, she acted just as strangely around Hitomi the last three days and she didn't seem to care when Hitomi was called Queen. With such a reaction, Allen had been reassured that love was not the reason for her behavior.

I thought I had been wrong… was I?

"Celena… are you—?"

"I… I feel…" She began and Allen swore the whole bridge held their breath in anticipation. "…very light… brother."

"Light?"

"…yes."

Allen was confused by that. "Did… you feel weighed down before?"

The question was stupid he knew, but he was genuinely at a loss. He did not even have a clue that she had felt that way. Moreover, he couldn't fathom why it was she might feel that way. He could assume that perhaps, on some level, she was aware that she was somehow responsible for Van's pain. She may not remember the events, but her screams and the nightmares she had, the tidbits she had shared about the bloodied soldiers calling out to her… he suspected that she harbored the guilt Diladau had curried. But, he had no proof, nor any way to ask. It worried and bothered him, more so now.

Could she have been so weird around Van… because of guilt?

"I think I'm… relieved?"

"Relieved?"

Celena nodded her head.

"… I see." He didn't. Not really, but there was nothing else he could say, especially not when his beloved little sister pulled back and smiled at him. It was a warm, happy smile that he had not seen upon her face since she had been taken away as a very small child.

"… I am relieved." She laughed and a few more tears leaked out of her eyes. Allen smiled and brushed them tenderly away.

"… as am I."

That, at least, was the truth.

XX

This was the moment Van had been dreading. He'd purposefully chosen to have this meeting in the throne room in order to place Hitomi on the seat next to him giving her both the respect and power of the position of Queen even if it was only visually. It was less comfortable than his office and would give Hitomi a bit of anxiety, however, strategically it would also put Idus and Emos at a disadvantage.

The room was set as it typically was when they held their meetings, the only difference was that the other Lords and Lady of the fiefs had made the journey to see him personally as well. Seeing as how the discussion today involved their lands and those directly under their care, he allowed them to sit in. Alteus, Seraph, Tomlin and Tarra were all standing behind the council members. They would have their turn to speak after he and Hitomi had laid out their plans and asked for the Council's input.

Their responses to Hitomi's ideas should be positive.

Those gathered were clearly divided as the fiefs with shared blood stood directly behind their original patriarch, showing support for their families. He'd expected as much which was why he had not made any of them part of the council, however, it was no less annoying for it.

"Your mission was a success; thank Escaflowne for your safe return." Emos said cordially, bowing as was expected. There was no obvious disrespect shown, but Van knew that did not mean there was none at all.

"For those who are not yet aware, this is my Wife," It was easier to say the word now, though he still felt a little like a liar when he used it. "Hitomi; your queen."

As expected all gathered bowed respectfully, and no one questioned his words. Idus and Emos had likely spread the story he had told them, and there was no way they could have missed the rumors spreading like wildfire through the capitol when they came up to the palace. Millerna, Chid and Allen had also agreed to spread the story through Pallas and Freid so at least in this way they could control how the rumors began. With this, even if Emos or Idus found out the truth, there would be no way to overturn the announcement. Rumors could be just as good as truth when the rumor was spread wide and remained similarly concise in all of the many locations.

Hitomi tensed beside him, and he covertly rested his hand over her own. She was wearing a traditional Fanelian dress, and she looked both lovely and regal in it without seeming too ostentatious. Millerna had done a good job in choosing the dresses and he felt he had done a fair job in helping her select the dress for this meeting.

"Please rise, we are here to discuss the possible threat facing our crops."

"Yes." Emos began, and one by one the others began to give their account on the individual fiefs and the issues. As expected, their crop yield this year was comparable to the year previous, with only a slight decrease, nothing of concern or note. Duke Ferendi of Deadalus had sent a letter as the winter snows were already causing trouble and travelling was not recomended. Thus far it was only the crops from there that had been negatively impacted, and even that was negligible at the moment. Although, Ferendi had mentioned that the cold and excessive snows had him very concerned for next harvests crops. He was estimating a loss of at least a quarter and at most three quarters of the winter wheat would be unharvest able. Ferendi, as the acting duke of Daedalus, had already taken steps to protect his lands and people from starving, but would need support if the following years results suffered more than this.

Van had gone over this with Hitomi and Millerna already and Millerna had promised to speak with Dryden about what sort of agreement and bartering could be made should Daedalus require more assistance than Fanelia could provide alone. Hitomi had no real suggestions for the northern dukedom, but her other ideas would prove useful.

"… I do not think rationing alone will be enough."

"I agree with Emos." Bora spoke up. "Fanelia has always dealt with poor production years in the past, however, we were not recovering from a war then."

"… quite right. If the war had not destroyed the fields and crops, this would not be nearly as devastating." Gaho said his arms crossed over his chest. "The last poor yield was enough to nearly spark another war. If this is going to be a cyclical problem, we will need to have other precautions in place to prevent the loss as much as possible."

"What kinds of preventative methods were in place prior to the War of Fatum?" Sorna asked her eyes locked upon Emos and Idus. They were the last remaining from the original council, and while they may not recall all of the preventative measures in place, they should have some memory.

"… the other fiefs were maintained by those families that did not return." Idus said, his voice tight. "… these measures were in place for generations… it was not openly discussed unless repairs needed to be made."

"Repairs?" Van asked glancing Hitomi's way once wondering if this would be an opportunity for her to get involved.

"… yes, there once were drainage systems… Tarra?" Idus turned to his daughter, his head tilted in question. The Fief his daughter had taken over was more to the south, it routinely dealt with floods in the spring.

The woman in the back gave a bow toward himself and Hitomi before answering her father, "… yes. Many of the drains have fallen into disrepair. Much of the boulders and clay have been eroded over the years. A few areas were even purposefully destroyed in the war. We have attempted to repair much of the sections but the undertaking is large and we have been more occupied with increasing the crops and rebuilding the homes in our territory." Tarra's tone was tight, clearly she felt this was a weak excuse rather than the bitter truth it was.

"Repairing that might ease some of the damage," Emos began shaking his head, "But it will not assist with this year's problems. Repairing the drainage systems will take time. Much more than we have now before the winter sets in."

"And beginning such construction during the rainy months will only lead to avoidable deaths and further destruction." Tarra added.

"… beginning the project after the rainy season would be safe and would be useful for the next cycle." Hitomi spoke up. She sounded confidant, though he knew she was nervous. Her hands were laced together to hide the fine tremor and she sat a bit rigidly in her seat.

Emos's lips thinned but he said nothing about her words. Idus glanced around in confusion, likely due to the fact that until this moment the queens of Fanelia had rarely spoken up about such topics. Thankfully the man could be rather spineless without Emos backing him so he too remained silent.

"While future planning is important, so too are the imminent threats." Sorna countered. She had been taking tea with Hitomi these past three days and he knew she was bringing this up because Hitomi had suggestions.

"Of course, however, weather phenomenon such as La—er—this problem we are faced with," Hitomi stumbled over the terminology. "Cannot be prevented, and seeing as we only found out about it now means we do not have enough time to fully prepare either."

"Then what do you suggest, Queen Fanel?" Emos asked, and his tone was almost insulting. Van did not interfere simply because Hitomi confidently responded without missing a beat.

"I'm glad you asked, Emos." Her use of his name made the man flinch. "I believe that we should begin planning to construct the drainage ditch system in the areas that will be most effective. Seeing as this cannot be done until after the floods next year, we can use the usual methods for flood control and keep track of how bad each area is affected. This will give us a more targeted approach when we begin construction." Hitomi paused and glanced his way before waving to Trent who brought the map and table forward for all to see. "We may have to take a hit now, but that does not mean this has to be a disaster."

He and Hitomi had gone over the map in detail and had pin-pointed a few susceptible areas he thought likely to need the most aid. Hitomi pointed them out now, addressing the proper fiefdoms and heads when speaking of the areas. The past three days had not been idly spent and the shocked and impressed expressions upon the Fanelian nobility were well worth the effort.

"I have also conferred with Lord Van," Hearing his title from her lips had an unexpected reaction from him and Van had to shift in his seat to dispel the new and wholly inappropriate reaction, "and we are discussing the possibility of contracting with Zaibach to create more sturdy and permanent structure for the drainage systems."

"Zaibach?!" Idus practically squeaked with his nervousness. "We can't… how could we possibly—?"

"They are the most innovative and industrial of the Kingdoms are they not?" Hitomi asked, her tone cool and chilly. It was impressive as she made the question posed by a man easily twice her age, sound like that of a small, uneducated child.

"… er… yes, but they—!"

"And is it not the concern of how they will view this lower grain yield that holds the most problems?"

"…" Idus was left looking around plaintively for support. Emos however had clearly figured out that he was at a disadvantage and was merely glowering at Hitomi when he wasn't looking suspiciously at the map as though he'd somehow been lied to.

"By inviting them in to help minimize future damages, we will be showing both goodwill and proving the problem exisits. It will go a long way to furthering the peace between Zaibach and Fanelia. It will also be a good opportunity for advancement and an opportunity for Zaibach to regain some of its pride and face." Hitomi continued confidently.

"… I see, Lord Van, you have already decided this course." Emos said, not acknowledging Hitomi and also making it clear he felt Van was being foolish by not discussing this with the council first. Van could not let that slide and so he was quick to respond.

"I have decided on nothing. My Queen and I are in agreement that we should bring this before the council. While we both believe this is the best course of action, it of course needs to be vetted."

"…"

"I do not see why we shouldn't at least consider it." Bora interjected, turning to Sorna. "What are your thoughts? You have spent time in Basram before."

"I believe such an offer of good will could only benefit Fanelia, whether or not Zaibach agrees to such a combined effort. At the very least, this could benefit Freid who is currently at odds with Zaibach's Duke Basram by proving that Freid is not in fact receiving preferential treatment."

"Considering the debt we now owe to Duke Chid in the efforts to retrieve our Queen, I agree it would be most beneficial to at least make the request." Trent said, looking Gaho's way. The older Knight nodded as well.

Four against two.

Van thought, his lips curling just slightly. The expression Emos wore darkened but he did not say anything. The other nobles behind his council spoke amongst themselves. It appeared that most of them also agreed with the majority though Emos's son, Alteus, was clearly siding with his father and was quietly disagreeing with the others.

He allowed this to continue for a few moments, leaning close to Hitomi to ask softly, "You alright?"

Hitomi glanced at him, a soft smile gracing her lips as she nodded. "… so far so good."

Van gave her hand a gentle squeeze in encouragement before turning his attention back to the meeting and bringing everyone back to the discussion. "So, we will make the request as a show of good faith and see what their response is."

"That would be a wise choice, Lord Van." Bora agreed and none of those in opposition spoke up knowing they were outnumbered.

"Now, for the other preventative measures. Hitomi, if you would lay out the details of your plan." Van motioned once more to the map. He would make sure than all present knew these ideas were her own and that her word held weight in his council. He could already see which people would be resistant to this change and made a mental tally of who to keep a close eye upon while Hitomi controlled the meeting.

"Since this will be a problem not just of flooding, but drought as well, I believe the best things we can do would be to invest in a crop that needs little water to grow for the years we can expect this phenomenon. As King Asturia has predicted this to be a cyclical problem, we can plan to plan the drought resistant crops for the years predicted to be affected. We should also be prepared for landslides when the rains do eventually return (6)."

Hitomi then pointed out the areas Van had told her had experienced just such devastating events not four years prior. Those fiefs affected and their heads were very intent on her plan and were quite intrigued with her suggestion of planting trees in the areas where landslides were common. She pointed out that tree roots tended to hold the ground in place more readily and aid in the prevention of landslides. This was not a perfect solution of course, but was something to consider. She also suggested that a routine safety measure be implemented in those areas with increased watches and education provided for all who lived in the area so that they would be prepared and know the signs of a potential landslide. This could be of use in preventing loss of life by evacuating families temporarily in those regions with the most signs of a potential land slide.

Again, one could not stop a natural catastrophe but she had a good head for preventing excessive damages. Van listened with half and ear as Seraph and Idus seemed very keen to discuss their preventative methods already in place and to go over what she thought they could do to improve them. Idus at fist acted as though she had insulted him by her suggestion, however, after the open dialogue he seemed almost relieved.

The discussion then turned to the various grains that were strong in drier climates with less rainfall. Sorna knew a little about it but suggested they speak more with Dryden and see if any merchants could make suggestions from their travels. Perhaps Asgard to the north had such a grain.

Overall the meeting progressed well and ended satisfactorily. Emos looked as though he had just been forced to eat sand, and Idus appeared shocked by the whole event but overall Van could tell that Hitomi had made a great first impression as queen. There would, of course still be many trials ahead of them. Hitomi still could not read or write their language, and her knowledge of the world and history was severely lacking, however, her competency had been proven this day and that was a good first step.

More than pleased, Van ended the meeting after several hours of discussion and detailed plans had been made. Emos, Idus, Alteus, Seraph, Tomlin and Tarra would be remaining within the walls of Fanelia for the next two days before returning to their fiefs to begin the implementation of what had been discussed.

Van would need to send a letter to Duke Farendi letting him know what had been discussed in regards to Daedalus, and after that it was a waiting game. Letters to Asturia, Zaibach, Freid and Basram would need to be sent and responses waited upon. The rationing would be implemented and they would have to see how the weather treated them come spring.

"That… was far more unnerving than I thought it would be." Hitomi said stretching her arms up and over her head as they entered his office room. He needed to send those letters as soon as possible and Hitomi had followed him to avoid being caught by any of their guests alone. She would eventually be forced to interact with them, they both knew, but for now he could provide sanctuary. He did however need to finish his work. However, his eyes couldn't help lingering on Hitomi's form clad in that dress and from where he sat he had quite the view.

He very much liked the way she looked in those clothes and he had the urge to be very, very unreasonable. Van stared at the lines of her body, a tension coiling inside of him as he wondered if he should even try to convince Hitomi or if he should wait until nighttime, which would be far more responsible.

"Van?" Hitomi asked a teasing smile on her lips as she caught him staring and easily read the look on his face. "When are we expected back?"

"… if we stay here?" Van answered slowly, reclining into his seat and reaching out a hand toward her. Hitomi came around the desk and took his hand. He maneuvered her so she stood between him and his desk, her skirt bunched between his legs. "… not for a long while yet."

"… oh. I guess that means you're busy."

"…"

"I shouldn't distract—!" He cut her off easily by rising to his feet and capturing her lips in a hungry kiss. Perhaps it wasn't wise, perhaps it was a bit reckless, but she seemed unconcerned and really, they deserved to celebrate their victory.

His hand sank into her soft tresses and he gently angled her head to kiss her deeply, pushing her back until she was leaning on the edge of his desk. One of her arms looped up and over his shoulders to maintain balance. His other hand hiked up her skirt easing under the warm fabric to touch her leg.

It was strangely erotic having to work around such cumbersome clothes and he groaned into her mouth, pulling her closer still, as his hand coaxed her leg up and over his hip pressing his desire against her center.

"!" Her breath hitched and their lips parted. "Van… your desk is…" Hitomi cut herself off on a gasp as he ground against her. There were two options for them, he could lay her back upon his desk and take her. He would then risk spilling his inkwell and potentially damaging the documents. Or, he could turn her around and carefully bend her over his desk, where she could be careful of where she held on and take her from behind.

He twitched at the very idea and he knew which one he liked best. He took his time, hand snaking up her thigh, gripping and massaging the tender skin and enjoyed the way she pressed against him, moaning out sighs, just as ready and sure as he was.

He pressed kisses to the line of her jaw, following it to the fleshy lobe of her ear. Van captured it between his lips, teeth grazing it softly. Hitomi shuddered in his arms from the sensations and he felt her fingertips dig into to his shoulders and hair as she pulled him closer. Mustering up his courage to ask, he released her ear and breathed into her ear his request. Of course, it sounded more like a demand even to his ears though Hitomi really didn't seem to mind if the way her pupils dilated before she rushed to comply was any indication.

"Turn around."

Hitomi was quick and twisted to face his desk, palms braced carefully upon the surface. He watched as she carefully moved his inkwell and documents out of reach while he lifted the back of her skirt with both hands. Her breathing picked up when he gripped her hips under her cloths and pulled her back and against him. He pressed hard against her softness, the sparks of sensation racing up his spine and caused his breath to labor. This position was particularly nice and made him think of all the times he'd sat at this desk and wished she had been by his side. Of course, right now those moments took on a distinctively sexual edge that he wasn't even aware of wanting until just now.

Van groaned and leaned close pressing his lips to the nape of her neck. He could smell the soft scent that lingered in her hair. It brought memories of their days on the mystic Moon and his fingers flexed against her hips. He tugged her against him sharply as his lips parted and he pressed open mouthed kisses to the skin at his lips.

"Oh..!"

His fingers worked to push the last bit of fabric off of her hips and the cotton slipped down her legs with little coaxing. He traced the exposed skin feeling Hitomi shiver with the teasing caress. His right hand lifted and gently pushed against her lower back, encouraging her to lay flat.

The thrill he felt when Hitomi complied made him swallow hard, the visual of her laying over the edge of his desk, her skirt bunched up wantonly over her his, her legs, bottom and all visible and trapped between his hips and the hard wood of his desk.

His heart beat out harshly against his ribs and he doubted he'd be able to hold out for long. With how often they made love, his stamina should have increased, however, and he blamed Hitomi for this, she was simply too much for his will to hold up against.

"… I don't think I'll last long…" He apologized with a harsh grunt.

This really shouldn't be so arousing…

Van thought, aware that this was supposed to be a place of work, and by doing this he was setting himself up for some rather troubling and distracting thoughts in the future. He couldn't, however, stop himself. This was honestly going to be one of his favorite locations he realized and his cheeks flushed at his own preferences.

The sounds were loud in the otherwise silent room, though he knew the two of them were maintaining a level of silence that they usually didn't simply for the fact that they did not actually wish to get caught here.

"…Van…" She whispered, trembling and his will to linger well and truly died.

To hell with it.

His thoughts were scalding, his fingers leaving her body to attack the front of his pants as he pressed a knee between her legs, prying them apart and trapping her in that spread position. His pants opened and he pulled himself free, the cool air upon his heated skin made his breath catch.

"… oh please…" Hitomi whispered. For some reason, the plea brought to mind another arousing statement from earlier before and Van stilled.

He could not explain why, but hearing Hitomi address him by his proper title, the one she had practically never used had been pleasing in a completely dirty way. Van swallowed wondering if she would be willing to use it here.

"Van?" Hitomi question, looking over her shoulder at him when he continued to remain still. Her flushed cheeks, mussed hair and bright eyes made him twitch and loosened his tongue.

"Lord."

"?"

Van swallowed thickly, adjusting his position against her, and leaned down over her. His breath curled around her ear as he groaned out his request into the shell of her ear. "Call me like you did… at the meeting."

He thought he felt her breath catch. His heart picked up pace in excitement and slight anxiousness.

"L…lord Van." Hitomi's voice was husky when she said it and it was a physical touch, the words. Van let out a sound that could only be called a growl as he pushed all the way inside.

They made love recklessly, words tumbling from their lips inciting a higher level of intensity until finally they toppled together over the precipice and into a glorious afterglow.

Hitomi was trembling and gasping against his desk and a self-satisfied warmth spread through his chest prompting him to lean down to kiss her flushed cheek. "I love you."

Hitomi smiled and slowly opened her eyes. "I love you too."

The kiss they shared then was broken by Hitomi's sudden and amused laugh. "You really liked that, huh?"

Van's cheeks flushed and he cleared his throat, pulling away.

"Hmmm, so you like it when I command you, and when I use your title." Hitomi continued to tease, still bent over his desk. She had braced herself up on her arms and was looking at him teasingly. He valiantly tried to ignore her as he tucked himself back into his pants and then bent low to pull her underwear back up her legs and over her hips.

"… I don't know why—" he tried to explain but Hitomi cut him off.

"I think I like it too." Hitomi admitted, her own cheeks flushed, and eyes half lidded. A pleased shiver passed through him and Van, in the process of lowering her skirts paused. They were dressed once more, but the position was still inappropriately suggestive.

"… I really do need to write those letters."

"—!" Hitomi opened her mouth to reply but was cut short at the sudden and unexpected opening of the door.

"Lord Van, your demon spawn—!" Merle's words squeaked to a halt as her eyes widened, cheeks flushing under her fur. For many reasons Van felt distinctly uncomfortable and he was quickly trying to lift Hitomi back up and into a standing position.

That only brought Merle's eyes down to her and she seemed even more distressed.

"Hey! Merle, you're blocking the way." The sound of Anil's voice broke the embarrassing tableau. Merle jumped and all but slammed the door as she escaped.

"Hey! You didn't—!"

"Busy! He's… you know what let's go out together."

"… but you said…"

"Changed my mind!"

The voices faded as they walked away and Van groan covering his face with his hand.

"Well," Hitomi said, voice tight and high with embarrassment. "We know better now, yeah."

"…right."

Never do this in here again.

"We really shouldn't have forgotten to lock the door." Hitomi chuckled, and Van's head whipped up. She was still embarrassed and she was clearly not comfortable with being caught, but the cheeky smile she gave him and the fact she was clearly keeping his desk as a possible location for more fun made Van laugh.

"So unreasonable."

"… you love it. Lord Van."

"… you are playing with fire." Van warned and grinned when Hitomi walked over and very obviously locked his office door.

"You love it."

He really did.

A.N. So, I hope you all enjoyed this chapter. YES there is an unabridged version of this chapter so be sure to reach out if you want to read it. A few notes regarding Hitomi's feelings in the beginning of the chapter; I am not saying this is how everyone would feel, and definitely not that quickly, however, I clearly recall how overwhelming it was in the hours following the birth of my boys and that was with my husband at my side. It is very life-altering and due to the rush of and sudden loss of hormones in your system, I at least had really bad emotional swings. I was never diagnosed nor suffered from clinical post-partum, however, every woman experiences it to some degree. I was lucky enough that it wasn't too bad. I adjusted rather quickly, and aside from acting like I was constantly on my period for the first six months, I was okay. Post-partum is a very serious medical condition and should never be treated lightly. I am not saying that Hitomi suffered from a clinical variation of it, but I did want to highlight how frightening it can be right after having your lovely baby. It is work, it is sacrifice and it can be wonderful but also absolutely humbling. If anyone has had a differing experience or was upset by this description I hope you read this and understand I am pulling from my own experiences and those described by my friends and I am in no way saying that this is the only way someone would feel. It can be easier, it can be much, much worse as I say constantly, each woman experiences this differently, I am merely trying to depict one way it might play out.

1) For those who don't know, not every baby actually breaks the water. I was lucky in the fact that both of my boys did in fact break it. My friend who had three children, needed to have her water broken at the hospital after being in labor for several hours with all three of her children. I am saying Anil broke her water simply because that is what I experienced and know. It makes writing about it easier as I have actual experience to add to this. My first child broke my water around 11:30 pm and was not born until 12:52 pm the following day. Nearly 13 and a half hours later. So, again I am giving her a similar experience. I wanted to explain my reasoning here for those who may have had differing experiences or for those who might just be curious.

2) Again, not all mothers will feel this so intensely, some might not even produce breast milk. I did not produce the first time and the second time, my child gnawed and suckled so hard I actually bled once… so yeah. Each child and each pregnancy is different. I'm just pulling from personal experience for the sake of realism.

3) I don't know if anyone else experienced this, but a newborn's cry, in my experience, is different sounding. At least my boy's first cries were. Those fresh baby cries were unsettling and I still remember the instant jump every nerve in my body made when that sharp cry pierced the air. It was more visceral sounding to me. As they got bigger their cries became more… I really don't know how to describe it… deeper maybe? It sounded more like the cries I associated with a baby. I have video of some of my son's first cries and still listening to it now I have that jumpy response and it sounds less human. Maybe I'm crazy. ^-^

4) This is an English nursery rhyme, and Hitomi likely would not actually know of it, however I wanted to use it in here for no other reason than I could. Sorry if this breaks the realism of this story. The rhyme is called, "Monday's Child" and there are many different variations now, but the most commonly used is:

"Monday's child is fair of face,

Tuesday's child is full of grace.

Wednesday's child is full of woe,

Thursday's child has far to go.

Friday's child is loving and giving,

Saturday's child works hard for a living.

And the child born on the Sabbath day

Is bonny and blithe, good and gay."

5) There is a distinction in how one says goodbye, and I have always noticed it in anime (especially subtitled ones). There is an expected familiarity one has in order to use the more informal "Ja Matashte" or even more informal, "Ja Ne" instead of Sayonara. I wanted to use that here since they are both kindered spirits to some degree. I also had hoped to show how a few small encounters can help one heal or find their way through the most inocculous of interactions. I truly don't know if that came across or not… I hope so. They don't actually get to meet up much in the future and they eventually grow distant in my head, however they are both intrinsically altered for the better because of this meeting. You could even say it was… fate. ….

6) Corn is actually a grain that does well even when there is less rainfall than normal. It won't always yield a good crop but it doesn't need as much rainfall as some others. So, something like that could be used in place of wheat and this is what Hitomi is suggesting. I imgine working as a teacher and having many of her work collegues/friends being teachers as well, that would have provided her with the opportunity to learn and be exposed to all manner of information, especially from Fumio who I couldn't show in this story, but he is a HUGE world history buff and loves random facts.