Hello and wecome to another chapter of RWBY Across the Multiverse! Here to do the disclaimer this chapter is...Coco!
Coco: Ze following is a fan-based parody. Hellsing Ultimate is owned by Kouta Hirano and Studio Madhouse, and is licenced by Geneon, Madman Entertainment, Manga Entertainment and Funimation. RWBY is owned by Rooster Teeth Productions. Please support ze official release.
"Okay, so last time we learned that war is hell in ANY universe." Yang says. "This version of Ironwood was way better than ours and Weiss' sister can't drive."
"We're not sure about that yet." Weiss says.
"Can we get on with this?" Cinder asks impatiently.
Yang gives Cinder the stink eye. "You just wanna see what your other self is like in this universe."
"Is that a crime?" Cinder asks "innocently".
Yang's eyes flash red for a second before returning to their normal color. "If it weren't for the no violence rule, I'd so deck you right now."
"Okay!" Blaze interrupts. "Let's move this along, shall we?"
"Please, no! I'll worship your Go-"
Tryian kills him with his bayonet.
"I zhink zat was ze last one. Good zhing, too. I fear you're running out of bayonets." Emerald says.
Tyrian gives Emerald an indignant look. "Care to correct yourself?"
Emerald empties her guns. "S-sorry, sir! You have bayonets for days!"
"Bayonets for days."
"Sounds like another shirt." Blake says.
"Father Callows, I believe I speak for all of us when I ask: Why did we go out of our way to save this..." Father D'Giorno trails off as he glances at Winter. "Erh..."
"Woman."
"I didn't want to assume."
"Is everyone gender blind in this universe?" Weiss asks with a frown.
"I was actually wondering that myself. Alucard would have left Black to die. Probably after putting a bullet in his leg."
"Same." The heroes think darkly.
"I am a man of three things: God, virtue and disobeying that tramp Black when it suits me! And if I'd let the woman die, I'd have been none of the three!"
"Guy lives by his own principles." Roman says.
"Wait, so... you just defy your master's orders on a whim?"
"Aye!"
"...Good God, it's strange to see this from the outside."
"Oh, my brother's, there's two of them!" Weiss exclaims in shock.
"I don't think any universe can handle two Alucard's." Jaune says.
[Scene change to Cardina and her men in a zeppelin]
"Lieutenant Cardina Winchester, ve are just outside ze Hellsing perimeter. Ve shall maintain zhis position as ve observe-"
"No! All hands to battle stations."
"Called it!" Jaune says. "Knew she was gonna disobey her orders."
"Guess Cardin's an ass no matter what universe you're in." Yang says.
"But... Ma'am... Our orders-"
"I have been vaiting for zhis var for over fifty years. I have been given veapons, men AND a target. I vill not be cockblocked to the point of entry by that little red toad! I... no, VE vill get vhat ve have coming to us. Now Captain, launch ze V-1s!"
"Wow, fight boner much?" Yang asks with a grin.
Ruby raises an eyebrow. "Hey there pot. Names kettle."
"I'm not THAT bad!" Yang says.
"Anymore." Ruby mutters while looking away.
"...Yes ma'am!"
The captain launches the V-1s. ...Only for them to get shot and explode.
"What just happened?" Oscar asks.
Cardina is so shocked, her cigarette falls out of her mouth. "Status report! ANYONE!"
"Vell, uh, ze V-1s launched. And zhen zey blew up! But not vhere zhey were supposed to! Like, vay too soon!" The helmsman says.
"I CAN SEE ZAT! VHY!?"
"Reports say it's sniper fire!"
"From that distance?" Penny asks with a head tilt.
"Kilometers avay? YOU ARE USELESS! GET ME A FUCKING VISUAL!"
Searchlights shown over the Hellsing HQ and the zeppelin crew react shocked at the sight of Velvet and her Harkonnen II.
"Velvet!" The heroes joyfully exclaim.
Cardina lets out a frustrated growl.
"Aw~! Murder boner denied?" Yang asks with some sass.
[Scene change to the Hellsing control room, where Coco Adel is sitting and smoking a cigarette]
"Twenty four out of twenty-four, ma chère. You must be a bane to clay pigeons everywhere."
"Actually, if you wouldn't mind Ms. Adel, my name is Velvet Scarlatina.
"How peculiar! I was under ze impression by ze rest of ze staff zat your name was "Police Girl."
"HA!" The villains laugh.
"...You know what? *Sigh* Fine, "Ma chère" it is. Just pay attention for any possible incoming-" Velvet says in exasperation.
"So, ma chère, tell me a little bit about yourself."
"At a time like this?" Blake asks.
"Y-You're serious..."
"Come now, we know so little about one another. And let's be honest, zis may be ze last chance we get to share. So, ma chère, what is it like growing up in England?"
Velvet flashes back to the brutal murder of her parents.
"I grew up in Leeds... Nothing happened."
The audience is stunned silent by Velvets past.
"Sounds boring."
"Yeah, that's the word..." The heroes mutter.
"YES... it was. *Sigh* How about you?"
"Oh, ummm, in ze french countryside, with my-"
[Flashback to a cottage in the woods]
"Grand-père... Is it true? *Sob* Is it true what the children in school say? Zat you are mercenary? Zat you kill people?" Young Coco asks.
"Oh, little Bean. It is much more zhan "killing people". It has many complicated facets. I once helped topple a fascist Souz African government in a week. I mean, it was replaced by anozer in two, but I still got paid."
"Wonder if such a man exists in our world." Cinder thinks while holding her chin.
"But Grand-père! My fellow school children only taunt and bully me for it!"
"Wouldn't that make her the coolest kid in school because her grandfather's a mercenary?" Yang asks.
"Wait, quoi? How are you not ze coolest kid in school? Who is it who dares to mock you? Is it zat son of ze butcher, Jean Paul? Perhaps zat little piggy shall find a grenade in his lunch box, so when he opens it, it pulls ze pin."
"No need to go THAT far!" Ruby and Weiss exclaim.
"Please do not kill my friends..."
"Oh, mon cher petit-fils~ I'm not going to do it."
"...Quoi?"
"Oh, my Brother's!" The heroes exclaim.
[Back to the present day]
"Oh my god." Velvet says.
"Oh, relax! It was a flash bang!" Coco says. "A little bit of tinnitus never hurt anyone. Now, how about zese Nazi fucks?"
The heroes are relieved to know that Coco's Grandfather didn't kill a child.
"Well, I've got a couple of grenades for them. They ain't flashbangs, though."
"Ah, but zey'll flash and zey'll bang, just how I like it."
"Oh my~" Yang says.
"Don't." Blaze says in a warning tone.
"Now, give zem a proper Hellsing welcome."
"So, a mountain of over-the-top violence, swearing and unnecessary screaming?"
"Exactement."
Velvet readies her cannons. "OUI FUCKING MONSIEUR!"
"OPEN FIRE!"
With a savage scream, Velvet peppers the zeppelin with AA rounds, killing several workers on board.
"Ve are being shredded lieutenant!"
"Tell me somezhing new!"
Velvet destroys two of the zeppelin's engines.
"Vell, ve just lost two engines!"
"CUNT!"
Yang glances at Ruby. "Huh. Thought she'd mention the swear jar."
"Ma'am, ve can't keep taking this kind of damage! We're going to crash!"
"Zen give me ramming speed captain, right into zat bitch!"
"Vich bitch lieutenant?"
"Zat bitch with the CANNONS!"
"Bitches love cannons~" Yang says with a cheeky grin.
The zeppelin heads straight at Velvet.
"Alright ma chère, how bout you flash zem ze goods?"
Yang and Blake looked like they were about to say something about Coco's comment, only to be silenced by Blaze's warning glare.
Velvet lifts up her guns to show two grenades attached before firing them hitting the zeppelin, which then proceeds to fall out the air and crash.
"CUUUUUUUUUUUUNT!"
"HA! In your face!" Jaune says.
"And zat, is how ze cookie fumbles."
"Crumbles." Ruby says. "Also, I WANT THAT CANNON!"
"If you get this one, you're not getting the first." Blaze says sternly.
"Doh...! Fine." Ruby says with a pout.
"It's "crumbles."
"Oh~, like England."
"Too soon!" The audience exclaims.
"Can you... not right now?"
"I am French, so... no."
"Bitch." Roman thinks.
"Holy shit, guys! I think we killed them all!" Mercer says.
Hebert looks out the window through his binoculars. "Hey Mercer, try not to choke on your fucking foot!"
The White Fang Vampires are seen climbing out of the rubble led by Cardina.
"Well... That's...not good." Jaune says worryingly.
"Quick reminder to everyone on the ground floor... zese are vampires. Much like ma chère, zey won't go down zat easy. And a night on ze town and a little bit of wine won't woo zem over. You will have to show zem zat you care. Make zem feel like zey're ze only thing zat exists to you in zhis world. And zen, when zey finally open zeir legs... give zem everyzing, and leave nothing."
"Oh gods, she's worse than Yang!" Ruby exclaims in horror.
"Sounds like my ex." Ozpin and Salem think.
[Scene change to outside the manor with Cardina]
"Vat's our head count?"
The White Fang Sergeant looks around and counts the men remaining. "Eins, zwei, drei... a-a lot, a lot, zere's a lot."
Cardina readies her scythe. "Good. Zen your orders... are to SLAUGHTER THEM ALL!"
"HEY! I'm the scythe Meister here! Get your own thing!" Ruby exclaims while standing up.
Weiss puts her hand on Ruby's shoulder. "Calm down."
Ruby sits down, crosses her arms and pouts. "Okay."
"She's adorable when she pouts." Weiss thinks with a faint blush. She then flinches. "Where did that come from?"
The White Fang Vampires charge towards the Hellsing HQ.
"Should I hold my position Ms. Adel?"
"No ma chère, you've already been on top, now give us a turn."
Velvet drops down from her vantage point.
"Oh, come on! It's like you're not even trying to hide it!" Yang says.
"Might as well just put a sign on you that says "Take me, I'm yours"." Blake says.
The White Fang Vampires continue running towards Hellsing HQ when one of them steps on a landmine.
"Oh, landmines..." Suddenly, a rapid beeping can be heard. "Oh! LANDMI-" The landmine explodes, cutting him off.
Several other Vampires are blown up by landmines whilst screaming "Landmines!"
"You'd think they'd stop after the first one blew up." Roman says with Neo nodding her head in agreement.
"Holy Shit! They planted landmines!"
"Duh." Yang says while rolling her eyes.
"Oh, zey found the landmines." Coco says casually.
"Oh my God, they planted landmines?!" Velvet exclaims in shock. "We walk our dogs out there!"
"Doggy, no!" Ruby and Weiss exclaim.
"Okay, ve have to stay calm! Nobody move an inch! Ve vait for Cardina, we'll pull back..."
"Finally, someone with a brain." Cinder says.
"Wait for it." Salem says.
One of the Wild Geese presses of detonator, causing several planted explosives to detonate in slow motion with grapeshot. Several more vampires are splattered soon after by the grapeshot debris.
"...Oh." Cinder says blankly.
"Alright men, you know ze drill: If it moves, it dies. If it dies, you move on. Keep zose grenades coming, keep ze bullets raining, and most importantly... have fun." Coco pulls out a lighter as her men light up the vampires. "I'm going to have a smoke."
"No offence Ma'am, but you're being awfully casual about this. I mean, as casual as usual, but aren't we dealing with Bram Stoker meets Castle Wolfenstein shit here?" Yatsuhashi Daichi says.
"Hey, Yatsu's here too." Yang says.
"Honestly Yatsu, we were prepared for a full-on tactical assault. Instead, we got a volley of swastika-covered dipshits running dick-first into enemy territory."
"Still kinda crazy thought, isn't it?"
"Oh oui. If you told me two years ago when we were either starting or ending a war in ze Middle East, zat we'd end up fighting White Fang Vampires, I'd have kissed you full on ze mouth!" Coco closes her lighter. "But now, all I feel is robbed."
"Well, if it makes you feel any better, there's a giant woman outside."
"...Wait, wha-" The audience asks.
"...Quoi?"
Mega Cardina is seen materializing into a giant and laughing maniacally. While everyone inside the Hellsing mansion is frozen with fear, Coco runs out of the control room to the hall.
"What the hell!?" Blake exclaims.
"What the hell?!" Roman exclaims.
"Sainte putaine de merde!"
"WHAT?!" Mercer asks.
"HOLY FUCKING SHIT!" Velvet exclaims.
"What she said!" Coco exclaims.
"What she said!" The audience exclaims along with Coco.
No one notices Neo narrowing her eyes at Mega Cardina.
"Peekaboo~!" Mega Cardina says while raising her scythe. "I'LL KILL YOU~!"
Cardina slices through the mansion with her scythe while everyone inside screams and runs in fear.
"I want to go back to ze Middle East..." Coco says in despair.
Cardina slices once again through the mansion. Cutting off various body part from members of the Wild Geese.
"SHE'S GONNA KILL US ALL!" Erholtz exclaims.
"No shit!" Yang exclaims.
"FUCKING... DEMON... BITCH!"
"Oh.. Tscch... I lost an arm..."
"How are you not screaming in pain?!" Weiss exclaims.
Police Girl falls to her knees in utter despair. "We're gonna die... To a giant German White Fang vampire woman with a scythe... That screaming homeless man on the train was right!"
"...Huh?" Oscar asks in confusion.
[Cue The Crimson Fucker]
"Hahahahaha!"
"Vampcle Qrow, save Velvet!" Ruby exclaims. "And the others too!"
Ozpin takes over Oscar's body. "I believe Alucard is speaking to Ms. Scarlatina telepathically."
"You're kidding me, right?! This basic bitch has you believing she's a giant."
Neo's eyes widen in realization.
"Master? Where-"
"On a boat in the middle of, uh... The fucking, I don't know, Atlantic."
"What the hell is taking you so long?" Yang asks. "Everyone might be dead by the time you show up."
"Sounds like another idiot I know." Blaze thinks as the image of a orange wearing man with black spikey hair comes to mind. "Almost dreading showing them that particular universe."
"Eh, fuck it, the ocean. Anyways, you need to whip out that third eye of yours and-"
"Third eye?" Jaune asks.
"In some religion's, people believe that the third eye is a gateway to the mind." Pyrrha says. "It's something of a...spiritual sense."
"By utilizing the third eye, one has the ability to see into the future." Penny says. Her eyes then widen in realization. "Or illusions!"
"And the Gynoid gets it. Bout time."
The Remnantians pause at the strange female voice. Their eye's then travel to...
"...Neo?" Roman asks. "Did you just...say something?"
"Well, who else were you expecting, Roman?" Neo asks with a smirk.
The Remnantians stare at Neo for a few moments before... "YOU CAN TALK?!"
"Since when?!" Roman asks.
Neo looks to Blaze with a smile. "Since my new favorite god fixed my vocal cords when I arrived here."
Blaze looks at Neo with a smile while a glass of Chardonnay appears in his hand. "Cheers, love."
Neo grins while a glass of Chardonnay appears in her hand as well. Neo and Blaze then clink their glasses.
"...I don't know what's more shocking." Weiss says. "The fact that she can talk-"
"Or the fact that she has an English accent like the Police Girl." Yang says. *Yes, Neo sounds like TFS Abridged Seras*
"But... Master, I-I only have two eyes."
"No, you have three eyes. You're a vampire."
"Do you have three eyes?"
"Sweetheart, I've got so many eyes. Eyes for days."
"Saw that proven back when he faced one of the Albian brothers." Salem says.
"Eyes for days?"
"Eyes for days. Now, look past your own self..."
"Eh.. How, eh..."
"OH MY GOD, GO CROSSEYED, JESUS!"
Police Girl's eye's flash red as she follows her master's orders and escapes Cardina's illusion. Revealing that the mansion and the Wild Geese are unharmed.
The audience laughs at Velvet's funny expression.
"PLEASE DON'T STICK ME IN YOUR GIANT VAGINA!"
"WHAT THE FUCK?!" The females exclaim.
The heroes turn to Ruby in shock.
"Ruby?! You just-" Yang exclaims.
"Yes, I said a swear!" Ruby exclaims. "I'm seventeen, deal with it!"
"DUDE, WHAT THE FUCK?!"
"Welp, high-fives are gonna suck now... *Grunt*
"'Old on... Did she- Aw, come on!" Velvet says as she sees that the Wild Geese are still under Cardina's illusion.
"Gotta hand it to her though." Neo says. "Almost had me fooled."
"...It's gonna take some time to get use to you...you know...speaking." Roman says hesitantly.
Neo rolls her eyes.
Coco takes a few steps back. "Open ze doors of hell for me, Grand-père. I'm coming home."
Police Girl takes her rifle off the floor. "Oh, for Christ's sake."
Police Girl points the rifle out a window and uses her vampire vision to shoot the real Cardina, grazing her cheek.
"Augh! My face, you CUNT!"
Mega Cardina let's out an angry growl as she disappears.
"You cunt touch this!"
"Okay, nice joke." Yang says with a grin.
The Wild Geese slowly come out of the illusion and get a hold on themselves... Kinda.
"Holy shit, my arm's back!"
"Oh, thank God! I thought she was going to crush me... With her giant vagina!"
"Okay, what does his internet history look like?!" Weiss exclaims.
"Okay, what does your Internet history look like?!"
"That's what I said!" Weiss says.
Police Girl shakes Coco. "Miss Adel! It was just an illusion, like push-up bras or stilettos!"
"Wait! You wear a push-up bra?"
"I don't wear a bra."
Blaze looks at Yang and gives a resign sigh. "Go ahead."
"OH MY!" Yang exclaims.
"She's still bigger than you." Blake says cheekily.
Yang folds her arms under her own impressive bust with a pout. "Shut up."
[Momentary silence]
"...Ooohhh my God." A Wild Geese member says.
A White Fang Vampire bursts in through the window.
"They figured out the landmines!"
"I fucking noticed!"
One of the vampires bites another Wild Geese on the neck.
Before another vampire can attack, Police Girl sticks the barrel of her riffle into the vampire's mouth. "Eat schnitzel in hell!" Velvet then pulls the trigger, blowing the vampires head off.
"Boo!" Yang says while giving a thumbs down.
"Eat schnitzel in hell"?"
"Oh, my apologies! What would you have said?"
"Don't be so sauer, kraut!"
Everyone starts laughing.
"Now, see? That was a good one." Yang says with a nod.
Those that know about Yang's bad puns groan.
"Ninety-nine dead balloons."
"Hasta l'auf wiedersehen!"
Police Girl giggles as she struggles to think of a joke. "You've... been... autobahned!" The laughter stops as Velvet continues. "Like the- like the autoba-"
"That was worse than Yang." Weiss says as she put a hand to her forehead.
"Ve should get a move on!"
"Oh, choke on a baguette of dicks!"
"Now listen ma chère, we are in ze zhick of it! Zey are getting close, and we cannot pull out now. We shall continue to hold zem off as long as we can, but we need you to flank zem and-"
Velvet narrows her eye's. "This is a reach-around joke, in'it?"
"Bon Dieu! I'm becoming predictable. Whatever, listen! If the British are good at anything, it's hunting, and you are hunting ze deadliest game of all."
"White Fang vampires."
"That doesn't even sound cool." Pyrrha deadpans.
"Dammit, that used to sound so cool! But zen you say it so much and "White Fang vampires" just sounds stupid!"
"Oh, right? Maybe we'll find something else, like maybe a White Fang werewolf."
"That sounds worse." Cinder deadpans. "When am I gonna show up again?"
"Merde, zat sounds so much worse!"
Missiles explode against the side of the mansion.
"Oh right, World War Trois. Ma chère! Like a high-class escort, make zhem pay for every inch."
"I can't believe I find you attractive." Velvet turns and runs down the hall.
"OH MY!" Blake exclaims with a blush.
"Pardon quoi?" Coco gasps in realization. "Wait, what?!"
"Uh, so ma'am, what's the over/under on us finishing this mission alive?"
"About as good as any of us actually getting laid tonight."
"Meaning zero." Yang says.
"I dunno, those vampires do look kinda rapey."
The audience pukes in disgust. Thankfully, Blaze made more puke bags. Just in case.
"Holy shit, dude!"
"Oh, who the fuck am I offending? The WHITE FANG?!"
"Kinda?" Blake asks unsurely.
[Scene change to Father Black lying on a deck chair with a newspaper over his face.]
"What are you doing, Mercury?" Cinder asks in a deadpan.
"Uh, Bishop Black?" Riegel asks.
Mercury sits up and messages his temples. "Ah, shit. I fell asleep waiting. You'd think watching London turn into a literal hell-scape would keep you riveted, but once the screams died down..." Mercury looks across the English Channel, where the glow from London's fires can be seen on the horizon. "So, what did I miss?"
"Jerk." Yang says as her eyes flash red for a second.
"Well, according to the reports, America is imploding."
"So, the White Fang has infiltrated them as well."
"No... actually."
"What is so bad about America?" Penny asks.
"Oh, you precious little cinnamon bun, you don't need to know that." Blaze says.
Penny tilts her head in confusion.
"Okay... Well, have the Papal Knights arrived yet?"
"Actually, we were unable to conscribe them into our efforts."
"What?"
"Ah- but do not worry, Bishop Black! We were able to get some... Eager volunteers."
The camera pans into different shots of the volunteers in their Klassic Krusader Knights outfits.
"Volunteers?"
"From Italia, I am brother Andrea Marco Francesco Luco Mateo Alhandro Lozendro Fredrico-"
"Whoa, that's a long name." Ruby says.
"Yes, yes. And your order?"
"I bring with me the Pure Noble Ordine della Rossa del Corna di Resa San Bartironmeto, alla Serieta del Segni Torre Derise del Sito [this name is yet to be confirmed] ...
"That's even longer." Jaune says.
Mercury grunts in frustration.
"-Divisione Ricettazione. We bring 510 paladins of the order."
Mercury sighs. "Grazie. And you?"
"From Mexico, Don Diego de la Vega! I bring: The Mexican Inquisition."
"I did not expect you."
"No one ever does! We bring 888 conquistador inquisitors!"
"Shalom! Bartłomiej Jeleniak from Poland! I bring the sacred order of the Temple Beth Zion!"
"Oh, I've... not heard of your order. You're... sure you're Catholic?"
"Eh... Of course!"
"You worship the Lord Jesus Christ?"
"Hey, if we're killing Nazis, I'll worship a side of bacon. We bring 447 mënschen."
"Hey bud, Abbot Puiser from Canada, bud. I bring the crusaders of the Salvation Army. Fuck bro, let's kill us some gays!"
"What do you have against gay people!?" Ruby, Weiss, Penny, Blake and Yang exclaim indigently.
"White Fang."
"Yeah, sorry, whatever. We bring 509 holy hosers, eh?"
"Glad to have you, now let's-"
"Now I gotta say, I'm a little uncomfortable killin' White Fang. Some of my best friends are Neo White Fangs! Then again, these are those classic-type White Fangs, so..."
"Who is this guy?" Blake asks.
Mercury raises an eyebrow. "Mi scusi. And you are...?"
"Jed Forrest, from the South Carolina Baptist Confederate Congregation! I got me here some 300 n' change good ol' boys from the Knights of the Hangin' Noose."
"Wow, alright, okay! Thank you for... swinging by..." Mercury's eyes widen in realization. "Oh God!"
"No worries. Now I noticed y'all brought some crosses to burn. If ya run out, don't worry, 'cause Jim brought more in his truck!"
"That's uh... really not necessary-"
"Jim, how many more crosses we got in that truck!?"
"'Bout a few!"
"'Bout a few."
"This is going to be a long crusade. Listen up! Those who have come to serve the unyielding Word of our Almighty God. We've come together this night, under the glow of the London inferno in the eyes of our Lord for one divine reason..." Mercury grins as he drapes an extravagant stole around his shoulders. "FUCK THE NEW POPE!"
"WHAT?!" The audience exclaims.
"I thought he was a man of god!" Blake says.
"To be honest, I seriously hate this version of Mercury." Blaze says bluntly.
Everyone begins cheering. Scenes of Pope Francis in real life are seen as Mercury talks.
"That Argentinian windbag has ruined us! Prattling on and on about the poor! We are the house of God, not a fucking soup kitchen!"
"What's wrong with helping the poor?" Ruby asks angrily.
"Thank you! Even we're sick of feeding people and we're Italian!"
"And what does he do with the golden throne? Replaces it with a wooden chair! Probably carved by more poor people!"
"Jesus was a king first, carpenter second!"
"And do not start me on the homosexuals! Oh, if you love them so much, why don't you fucking marry them?! You seem so okay with the concept!"
"HEY!" Ruby, Weiss, Penny, Blake and Yang exclaim in indignation.
"Yeah, fuck bro! It's Adam and Eve, not Adam and another dude and they're havin' sex!"
"And I thought racism for the Faunus was bad." Blake says as she clenches her fists.
"And he has the gall to renounce the Old Testament as mere stories! We should be more like Jesus and congregate with whores and homosexuals and poor people!"
"This version of Legs is lucky he's not in this universe." Roman says with a frown. "I may not like Faunus all that much, but I'm not as bad as this guy."
Neo flicks the switch in her umbrella to reveal her hidden blade. "They wouldn't find the body."
"Yeah! Perhaps we can all just agree that, maybe, Jesus WASN'T the son of God!"
"Someone's asking for a smiting!" Blaze exclaims as the pressure around him becomes heavy.
"We are the congregation of a wrathful God. We shall begin a new Papal succession, and I shall lead us in a Ninth Crusade, for I am your leader... THE NEW POPE! And after we are finished purging England of its demons and heathens, WE... WILL..."
"ROUND UP ALL THOSE DIRTY NI-"
"Okay, you need to chill!"
The screen turns black as the showing ends. Suddenly, a strange tone rings out. *Metal Gear Solid Codec sound* The Remnantians look around in confusion before looking towards Blaze. The young god takes out a Scroll. He then looks at the Remnantians, who have stupefied looks on their faces.
"What?" Blaze asks in a deadpan. "A god can't have a Scroll?" Blaze stands up. "I gotta take this. Plus, I'm sure we all need a break from what we just looked at."
Blaze walks down the path to the Rec Room as the tone continues to ring out. Just as he told Yang before, the Rec Room was full of video games and a pool table, oddly enough.
Blaze finally answers his Scroll. A holographic image of a young woman with red eyes, long, sandy blonde hair that flares out and olive skin. She wears what appears to be two large clips near her ponytail. She was wearing what looked like an Arabian outfit with a hooded scarf. *Dragon Ball Bulma's Arabian outfit with the scarf added*
"Camilla Umber." Blaze says fondly. "Nice to hear from you."
"Master Blaze." Camilla says cordially.
"Come now, I told you there's no need to call me that." Blaze says mirthfully. His tone suddenly becomes serious as he narrows his eyes. "So, what do you have to report, my Summer Maiden?"
"The relic from Shade Academy has been acquired." Camilla says. "The people who were transported from Atlas are currently being moved to the academy as we speak."
"Good." Blaze says with a nod. "And there haven't been any problems?"
"None to report." Camilla says. "With everyone still frozen in time, it was easy to relocate them. ...Though, I still can't believe you were able to rope D'nnome into your plans."
"I didn't." Blaze says. "She heard what I was doing and volunteered. The deal was that I show the group versions of them from her universe."
"I see." Camilla says. "Well, now that the sword has been acquired, what is the next step?"
Blaze snaps his fingers. In a flash of light, the Relic of Knowledge and the Relic of Creation appear before him. "Our next step is the crown."
"With all due respect master, while I am certain you can convince Ozpin to relinquish the relic, who's to say the Black Queen and her False Maiden will agree?" Camilla asks.
"You worry too much." Blaze waves off. "It's slow, but those two are already feeling the effects of being in Zero Space. Salem, Cinder and rest are slowly releasing the sides of themselves that they've subconsciously hidden away." Blaze waves his hand and the two relics return to his pocket dimension. "By the way, have you found Callows and Black?"
"Callows and Black have been detained." Camilla says. "Separately of course."
"Perfect." Blaze says. "I have a feeling Qrow would want to settle things with Callows himself. Closure for the death of Clover Ebi." Blaze gives a sad sigh. "Unfortunately, his death was unavoidable. Though, there's still hope for Black. As proven with Ms. Sustrai."
"And the Brothers Grimm?" Camilla asks.
"I could care less about what those two think." Blaze says with a sneer. "They've had their chance. Now I gotta clean up their mess."
"Oh Cammy~! Time for another installment of the Campione universe~!"
Camilla sighs while shaking her head. "That would be Lady D'nnome. I swear, she's beginning to scare me with her obsession."
"Who do you think I got the idea to have this group look at alternate versions of themselves from?" Blaze asks with a grin. "Make sure the sword stays safe. I'll stop by to retrieve it when I can."
"Understood." Camilla says with a nod.
The hologram shuts off. Blaze then pockets his Scroll.
"Everything is going according to plan." Blaze says. He then walks back towards the theater. "Now, if only our other guest would wake up."
And done! Camilla Umber is my OC Summer Maiden. Rooster Teeth hasn't revealed who the Summer Maiden is yet, so I made my own. Also, D'nnome has given me permission to use thier RWBY crossovers as multiverses. So far, I will be using two. Now, any guesses on who the mystery guest is?
See you next time. Until then, ja nee!