Character Name: Ryo Kimura

Age: 6 months

Experience: 0/100

Level: 1

Stats: *Currently Locked*

Skills: *Currently Locked*

Special Abilities: *Currently Locked*

Reputation:

Konohagakure: 110/1,500 (A New Shoot)

That fucking screen pissed him off like nothing else. Consciousness eluded Chaz most of the time. His stupid baby brain was too small and smooth to handle his real mind most of the time, so the months passed by in a dreamlike haze. Every now and then he'd claw his way to the surface, but it was brief and fleeting.

It sucked. Most of the time he was dimly aware of his instincts carrying him along, switching between content and cooing to screaming his little head off at a dime. At least his parents - and it really was weird as hell thinking that word without a sneer - seemed to be doing a half-decent job.

Embarrassing as it was, Chaz was in no condition to control himself (or clean himself up when he inevitably failed). He'd gone from rocking the LSAT and pumping iron to literally shitting his pants and there was nothing he could do about it. Chaz knew what he should do, but it turns out that doesn't matter much when you literally have zero control over your pudgy infant body.

Worst. Afterlife. Ever.

He stared bitterly at the screen as it hung over his head mocking him. Chaz used his precious conscious time to shake his fat fist furiously at it -

"Aww, he's so cute! I love our little guy."

And his parents! They talked to him like he was a fucking dog. Ugh. He was a man! A huge, ripped dude that banged everything on two legs and did whatever pleased him. Krystal would be laughing her ass off if she saw him like this.

Chaz wondered how she'd taken it. Had she found his body? Maybe she'd feel bad about not fucking him while she had the chance. Hell, maybe this was just a six month long trip and he'd wake up to her offering a sympathy blowjob or some shit like that… yeah right. Maybe in his dreams.

And as it turned out, even his dreams were pretty shit now.

Fucking Izanami. He hoped she was getting a kick out of this.

"Look at how scrunched up his face gets when he's mad! Oh, wow, that's loud. What's got you so upset, little man? It's okay, Ryo-chan! Daddy's got you."

Chaz looked dead straight at his father, a tall man with shaggy black hair, kind eyes, and a broad smile, and screamed louder. This dad didn't smell like cheap cigarettes and old booze, but he still had the same instincts and cringed at the high-pitched shriek.

He'd managed to perfect it over the last few months. If he could ever figure out this damn chakra thing then Chaz might be able to actually weaponize it. What would that even tie into? Wind? Fuck if he knew. It had been a while since he'd kept up religiously with Naruto, even if his old memories still left him with a ton of information.

If he'd known that this was where he'd end up, Chaz would've been a fucking addict. Forget the gym, he'd be busy watching the whole series day in and day out. Hell, he'd even watch the shitty filler. Anything to find more bullshit to weaponize.

"Hiro, I think you're scaring him. Here, hand him to me."

Chaz's new dad pouted, barely even bothered as Chaz hit another high note. Much more of this and the glass would start cracking. He just made Chaz 'dance' and hummed loud whooshing noises as he clutched 'Ryo-chan' close and walked right up a wall.

The crying abruptly stopped. That was actually pretty sick, even if the novelty of it wore off pretty quickly. Good old dad was a ninja, a mid-ranking chūnin from what Chaz had picked up, and it was nice to see that his Hidden Leaf headband wasn't for show.

It was one thing to watch this shit animated. Even Chaz couldn't help the dumb, wide-eyed excitement he got from experiencing it himself.

"Nah, he just wanted to wall walk with me. It works like a charm."

His mom sighed in defeat. "Fine, fine." She smiled warmly at Chaz and walked right up the wall to join them. Ichika was a former chuunin as well, although apparently she'd chosen to retire and abandon her skills to raise a family just like almost every other kunoichi in the Naruto world. Seriously, what the fuck Kishimoto?

She laid her callused hand against Chaz's chubby cheek and ruffled his shock of black hair. "You sure are a crybaby, huh? Are you hungry?"

Fuck no!

Chaz pulled away from her and buried his face in his 'dad's' chest, screaming his little head off again. Hiro laughed and hoisted him a little higher. "Looks like I'm the favorite today! Too bad. Better luck next time, eh?"

Ichika groaned. "It's so odd! I've never met a baby like him. I know he's hungry, but sometimes he just won't eat. Sara-san said her little ones couldn't get enough…"

Yeah, and Chaz would bet Sara's little ones weren't twenty-two year old dudes trapped in a screaming little shit's body. Unless this whole world was just full of isekais, which would probably explain why everyone was such a fucking weirdo. Maybe he'd have to ask Izanami about this next time he saw her.

If he ever saw her again. Chaz hoped he did. She'd fucked him over this time, but damn she was hot. Not that his current body could appreciate it, but one day.

As for 'eating'... don't get Chaz wrong, he'd sucked his fair share of titties back in his old life. It kinda came with the gig of being Chaz fucking Dickson. But it was way too fucking weird doing it as a baby - Chaz's policy was to resist as long as possible, then let his baby brain take care of it when his consciousness went dormant again.

Seriously, fuck that noise. Why'd he have to get sent back to the very beginning? It sucked.

Sara and Hiro could be kind of annoying with how they treated him like a freakin' baby, but Chaz… didn't hate them. For one, he was a baby, no matter how much it stung his pride. They were kind to him, and it seemed to everyone else as well with how many smiling visitors and well-wishers they got. His parents might not be heroes of the Leaf, but they sure seemed to be at the heart of it.

So no, he didn't want to fuck with them too much. They kept him alive, and that was good enough for him. Sometimes their care made him feel warm and gooey inside and it was absolutely disgusting - Chaz wasn't sure what to do with all those gross, soft feelings so he normally just cried or shit himself to give them something to do.

There was power in being a baby, even if it was a thankless job most of the time.

"Oh, watch this. Little Ryu -" Chaz hated that name, so started screaming the moment he heard it. Hiro quickly hurried along. "Our boy was sharing one of his lovely songs with me the other day -"

"As he does," Ichika nodded along in agreement. Her lips curved up into a wry smile as she affectionately patted Chaz's cheek. "Our little crybaby."

Fuck off! He wasn't a crybaby. It was just the only way to express himself.

Chaz would probably start speaking way earlier than normal, but his development hadn't come along far enough to pull it off properly. He knew what to do, and he'd already experimented in his rare moments of lucidity and privacy to make something approximating words, but there was no goddamn way he was going to embarrass himself babbling in front of these people.

"So he was crying, and I started trying to Henge to make him laugh, and… just watch!" Hiro's voice normally reminded Chaz of Jared, one of his buddies who pulled off the stoned surfer stereotype pretty well, but it picked up with real excitement by the end.

Hiro passed Chaz off to Ichika, who planted a wet kiss on his forehead as she snuggled him closer. Gross. Chaz ignored the warmth that flooded through him. Goddamn oxytocin!

"Okay little guy, watch daddy, okay!" Hiro spoke slowly and carefully, then began making slow, deliberate hand seals in front of Chaz's face. "See this one? This one's dog. Woof woof! Boar. Uh, grunt grunt? What sound does a - nevermind. Ram. Bleat? Baa?"

Chaz was going to fucking kill himself if he had to listen to this for a second longer. His dad was such a dork. Still, he couldn't hide his excitement as he clumsily manipulated his tiny hands into the appropriate signs - it wasn't perfect, but he swore he felt something shifting around inside of him as he made the motions, like they'd unstoppered a plug and let something loose.

It was a stream trickling beneath his skin. It was alive. It was warm. It was him.

"Dog, boar, ram - he's really doing it!" Ichika gasped. A pensive look came over her face as Hiro made more signs and Chaz did his best to mimic them. It was slow, it was ugly, but it was real. Chakra stirred within him like a candle bursting into flame, and Chaz found himself in love.

It was even better than coke. Maybe not better than sex, but it was close.

"Six months and already forming hand seals…" his mother murmured. She clutched him tight. "Should we tell anyone? I don't want him to end up like the Hatake boy. I hear the Uchiha child is becoming a monster as well."

"Let's wait and see." Hiro soothed her. He softly kissed Ichika on her lips and wrapped her (and thus Chaz, much to his displeasure) in a tight bear hug. "The war is over, Ichika. They won't want children on a battlefield. Our Ryu -" Chaz screeched, "our child will be safe. The Hokage won't send him to die needlessly."

"Yes, yes, you're right. Yondaime-sama is wise. He wouldn't waste potential. Perhaps our little man might become Hokage himself one day."

Hiro tightened his grip. Chaz just rolled his eyes - he'd better be Hokage one day, or at least strong enough to qualify. Otherwise he'd be fucking dead, and he was sure that would make these new parents sad. He really, really didn't want to see them cry.

"Here, you seem to have these down. Can you learn these too?"

Ram.

"Bleat bleat!"

Tiger.

"Grr!"

Snake.

"Hiss!"

Jesus fucking Christ, Chaz was going to actually kill himself if this kept up. He'd drown himself in the goddamn bathtub if he had to listen to one more animal noise. Nothing came out of his 'jutsu' of course, but a perfect copy of his dad did materialize next to him, only to fade away a moment later.

Chaz pretended to be appropriately impressed, even if it killed him on the inside. He needed his dad to show him more jutsu in the future. His survival might hinge upon it.

He had no illusions about his potential. Chaz had no doubt that he'd be good, probably great. He was a physical person, always had been. A new body wouldn't change that. But if this whole thing went like he expected, Chaz would be facing real monsters.

Jōnin was attainable. Hell, he thought S-rank was pretty attainable given his innate badassery and meta-knowledge. Chaz had spent all his waking time strategizing how to break this setting as best as possible, but he was limited without some of the absolutely broken bullshit some people were born with.

Rinnegan, for example. Hell, even the Sharingan or Byakugan would be a gamechanger. He was born to a basic shinobi family, however. He'd like to pluck out a few of those eyes for himself later on to exploit as much as possible, but for now his immediate goal was to acquire the Shadow Clone jutsu as soon as possible.

It was expensive in terms of chakra, but well worth the effort. Double the training (at least), a perfect scout, and a good way to tag team opponents. That could be instrumental to trying to master the absolute bullshit that came with the higher-level fights.

He could be a cocky bastard, but he was pragmatic if nothing else. If Chaz wanted to survive, he'd have to exploit this Gamer system for all it was worth. But he had no special resources other than that - he wasn't lucky enough to be born with some absolutely broken Bloodline Limit, but he supposed you could consider the Gamer one of those.

If only it would actually show him what he needed to do instead of just showing him a bunch of useless locked screens.

There wasn't much he could put faith in, so he'd clutch onto that as long as he could. If it was what took him to the fabled S-rank, so be it. If not, he'd still find a way claw his way to that fucking high horse.

Maybe he could find his way through an insane tutor. He knew exactly when and where Jiraiya would be, for example, and it could be possible to get something set up through that.

But for now, he'd focus on what he could control. Hone his chakra. Work out as soon as possible - that would normally be a fucking stupid thing to do in a toddler's body, but chakra kept any negative effects at bay. It was the ultimate performance enhancing drug.

Shadow Clone. The Eight Gates. Genjutsu, although it might fall off in effectiveness by the time he faces freaks like Orochimaru. Sharingan. Figuring out his chakra affinity. Rinnegan. Wood Release. Rasengan. Flying Thunder God. Medical ninjutsu would be pretty useful for swapping eyes, since apparently that so fuckin' easy here.

Plus, Chaz wasn't eager to die again. It would be nice to be able to patch himself up. He wondered if he'd just get kicked off to another universe if he died here, or if this would be the real end. It didn't seem like the useless game system was going to give him any hints.

How was he even supposed to exploit it? Did he kill shit to level up? All he really knew was that quests were involved somehow, but there was nothing else to help him. If he got points for killing things, he'd be a goddamn grim reaper. He'd grind that shit out like reps at the gym.

But yeah, the powers in this place were busted. His brain couldn't handle thinking of all this stuff now - he already felt his awareness slipping away - but he'd be back soon. It got easier to keep his mind around by the day.

And when he started, he was going to take this whole fucking place for everything it was worth.

His mom cooed at him. "We'll need to get you some training toys soon! I hear that Higarashi-san sells good equipment… his little girl has already started her training. Surely he can point us in the right direction."

"Our little guy, the future hero of Konoha!" Hiro plucked him and spun him around, making Chaz 'fly'. The man laughed, then waggled his eyebrows at Ichika. "What do you say we put our little prodigy to bed? Then we can go to bed and have some fun."

Cheesy as hell, but good on him, Chaz supposed. Get it, dad. It was fucking weird to think about, and the part of him that had grown fond of these two idiots was a little grossed out, but this whole situation was beyond fucked. He had to take his entertainment where he could.

He just hoped the baby brain would really take over before he had to hear any of it. That was just fucking uncomfortable.

"Hiro! Not in front of the baby!"

"Ah, what's the big deal? He can't understand us, isn't that right?" Hiro teased Chaz. He tried to say, 'fuck you' but couldn't shape the words right. A cute babble left instead. Ugh. "I can say anything I want and as long as I sound happy, he'll eat it right up!"

Chaz screamed as annoyingly as he could.

"Here, give him to me. He needs to eat, even if he's being fussy. How else is he going to grow up to be big and strong?"

Well, in his last life it had been off dear old dad's shitty gas station beef jerky that he'd left laying around.

A horrible thought came to Chaz - damnit, he was never going to eat beef jerky again. Probably not burgers either, not unless he got Chouji's family to try out some new recipes. That was going to be priority number one, Chaz decided.

Two, actually. Priority number one was going the fuck back to babyland so he didn't have to be conscious through this.

His mom smiled radiantly at him.

No, he wasn't going to slip away in time! Chaz would take literally anything over going through this again.

Anything.

Everything went silent at once.

Then a wave of power rolled over the village that jolted him back to awareness. It was suffocating, heavy like a weighted blanket draped over his chest, and it burned. His breath was almost impossible to draw. The power was like a garrote wire strangling him. Chaz's baby brain took over and screamed as a toxic, vile hatred ate away at his skin. It was like standing in the face of an oven, but this power clung to him like glue and refused to go away.

It reminded him of something, and Chaz's wild, frenzied thoughts soon recognized it as his dad made a few hand signs - it was chakra. But rather than the pleasantly warm trickle that he could produce, this was a geyser, a flood of boiling lava that suffused the entire village.

Ambient chatter from the marketplace outside died. The birds stopped chirping. Inuzuka dogs ceased their snarling and play. A wailing baby - Chaz himself - shut his trap. A rush of wind like a hurricane tore through the village, howling outside their windows, soon joined by the trembling of the earth as immensely heavy footsteps reverberated.

Chaz's bones rattled within his flesh. His skin burned as something corrosive and raging carried in the wind brushed over him. A sound like a great rumbling explosion left the air trembling and warped until it felt like his ears would bleed from the pressure - Chaz dimly realized it was a roar, not an earthquake or a bomb going off.

Even Ichika and Hiro froze. The strong hands that held Chaz began to shake. His mother immediately brought him down to the floor for fear of dropping him.

Then the screams began.

The domestic bliss shattered like a pane of glass struck by a rock as the power intensified and another roar tore through the village.

"What is that?" Ichika hissed. Her knuckles were white as she clenched Chaz's pudgy body to her breast. Chakra-enhanced strength filled her. She could probably crack concrete with that power, but she retained tight control over it to avoid hurting him. "Iwa? Maybe they want revenge…"

Chaz tried to shape words, but he was still half-drunk as the baby's brain took over. He babbled, but couldn't form the correct sounds with his clumsy tongue.

He knew what this was, and it was much, much worse than some Stone shitheads.

The Nine-Tails had been unleashed. Fucking hell!

"It doesn't matter. Whatever it is, I have to go. Stay with Ryu!" Hiro adjusted his head protector and wrapped both Chaz and his wife in a tight hug. He and Ichika shared a desperate kiss. His dad cradled her worried face in his hands and kissed her again, then he squeezed Chaz as tightly as he could. "This will all blow over. Yondaime-sama is here."

Just the mention of the Fourth Hokage eased Ichika's worry, though the boiling chakra sweeping over them all wouldn't allow her fear to vanish entirely. Chaz just wanted to scream at them all to run the fuck away.

"I'll come back to you. I promise!"

The screams grew louder. Hiro's eyes sharpened to a razor's edge as he shrugged on the chūnin flak jacket. For the first time, Chaz saw him as a shinobi. He was a killer, even if it was hidden behind layers of good humor and mushy garbage.

It wouldn't be enough.

Stay here, you fucking idiot! You're going to get yourself killed.

Chaz babbled everything he could with all the urgency he could muster, but it was just dismissed as nonsense. His parents' minds were far from him, focused on survival.

"I love you both. I'll see you soon, you hear?"

And with that, Hiro was gone. He shot off in a rapid burst of speed, a Body Flicker, and left them behind to do his duty. Chaz just stared off at the door as a pang filled his chest. That fucking idiot! Didn't he realize what he was going up against?

No, he didn't. Of course he didn't. But even if he had, Chaz had no doubt Hiro would have gone all the same. A noble idiot to the end.

Ichika sagged as Hiro left, but she didn't let it get to her for long. She was taut as a wire as roars and hurricanes and earthquakes ripped through Konoha. The splintering of wood and crushing of houses was loud, but the screams were louder. Worst of all was the ones who went silent thanks to a sweep of tails or an errant foot the size of a house crushing them.

Combat raged outside, and Chaz suddenly felt the world change as a screen manifested ahead of him.

New Quest: That Fateful Day (Tutorial)

Description: The Kyūbi no Yōko has been unleashed upon Konohagakure. One sweep of its mighty tails can crumble mountains and cause tsunamis. Its wrath will flatten the village if no hero steps up to stop it. Will you meet the challenge set by the greatest of the bijū? (Have fun!)

Primary Objective: Survive!

Secondary Objective: Defeat the Kyūbi.

(Accept/Accept)

Chaz stared at the screen. His eyes narrowed. Rage filled him. What would have been an endless litany of swears that would make a sailor blush came out as incoherent babbles, then a hateful shriek that somehow carried above the roars of the Nine-Tails and the epic clash of jutsu occurring outside - this was fucking bullshit. Seriously, why couldn't he decline any of these garbage quests? It better not stay like this.

'Defeat the Kyūbi'? Was this game fucking serious? Whoever designed this (probably Izanami) was either a complete dumbass or an utter sadist. Probably both. Fuck that noise! He couldn't even wipe his own ass, so how was he supposed to fight off a goddamn demon fox that could basically shoot nukes?

It was like making you fight the final boss before you'd even finished character creation. Just fucking stupid!

Yeah, he'd take the secondary objective, thank you. So stupid…

"Shh, it's okay. Don't cry, baby. I'm with you. You don't need to be scared. I won't let anything happen to you, my Ryu." Ichika cradled him, thinking his screams were from the scary noises outside. No, that was just why his baby body had pissed itself. His screams were of an entirely different nature. Still, he couldn't help but be soothed as her low, crooning voice began to sing a lullaby and rock him to sleep amidst the chaos.

He couldn't make out the words, but it was a lullaby he'd heard before in his moments of lucidity as Ichika put him to sleep. Chaz stopped crying. Shit was bad enough for her without him throwing an extra cherry on top.

Ichika's singing calmed the pounding of his heart. His tiny fists clutched her shirt tightly, rolling the soft fabric between his little fingertips. There was a tremor in her voice despite his mom's attempts to remain calm.

The footsteps came louder and louder now, feeling like an earthquake in truth. Corrosive, hateful chakra grew denser and more noxious. Chaz's skin burned like he'd been sitting beneath the sun for hours, and his lungs grew scorched.

More screams, louder now, along with the sounds of the shinobi squads engaging. The Fourth Hokage would be here soon, he would seal the monster away, and everything would be okay -

Chaz felt the sweep of the chakra tail before he saw it. A vibrant orange sweep came towards them from outside, filling the window with flickering fur, the wood splintered, death approached, and his game was over -

"Doton: Moguragakure no Jutsu!"

Ichika's kunoichi reflexes kicked in. She dropped to the floor, placed Chaz beneath her body, and planted her palms to the ground as her dark, desperate eyes met his. Heavy, cloying chakra pulsed into the earth and tore it apart. They fell into the shallow hole just as the house came apart above them. Wooden beams and walls were shattered like tissue paper beneath the errant motion of the tail and came crashing down around them -

The Tailed-Beast chakra was searing hot now, eating away at them like acid as it came into such close proximity, and a roar came from above them now. Immense force rolled through the earth with every step and wind howled higher and higher as a great, guttural scream split the air.

There was nothing he could do to stop it. All he could do was sit in the dark and listen to his mom's wild breaths, the lullaby she still tried to murmur to him, and the sounds of doomed battle above.

For the first time, Chaz truly understood why the people of the Hidden Leaf were such absolute assholes to Naruto. No wonder they were so terrified - they still sucked ass, but he could understand.

This wasn't Kurama yet. This was a fucking monster.

His vision began to blur. The baby took over as the awful chakra of the beast became too much for his conscious mind. Its malice was a physical thing, and he was drowning in the torrent of its Killing Intent.

Chaz slipped away as a familiar sound keened - the beginning stages of a Tailed Beast Ball. This was the beginning of the end. Minato and that cunt Obito would fight it out. The Nine-Tails would slip free and then be sealed away again.

The Fourth Hokage would die. The world would move on.

His last thoughts were hatred - hatred at his own powerlessness, hatred that this game had set him up to fail from the beginning, and hatred at the thought of losing what he'd gained in this world.

Then it was gone. The baby was back.

Chaz dimly slid back to consciousness. Confusion at first - where was he, why was it so dark, what was that pressure on his chest? - that soon slipped away as his memory began to filter back in.

The house. His parents. The disaster. The Nine-Tails.

Its raging power was gone now, most likely sealed away within a baby Naruto. The world was still like it was after a great storm had passed through. A few people wailed in the distance.

Something heavy was pressing down on him. Chaz shifted, trying to force it off with his weak muscles, but it didn't budge for a moment. The soft pressure finally shifted, and he heard the labored breaths of Ichika as her trembling arms, raw and burnt from the Nine-Tails' vile chakra, just barely mustered the strength to pull him from the hole she'd created to stuff him in.

She'd kept him alive through all that shit.

The world came back into view. Chaz was silent as a ghost as the devastation became evident around him. Their house was nothing but splinters, a few stray possessions and broken furniture all that remained. In fact, the whole neighborhood was just as ravaged. One sweep of that tail had done all of this.

He couldn't see any bodies since his mom had him facing her, but he knew they were out there. The death toll must be in the hundreds, if not thousands. But Chaz had lived. His mom had -

No. No! No!

"Little Ryu. My baby. You're alive…"

Blood dripped from her chest to fall on his face. A sharp wooden splinter the size of a sword poked out from her sternum, stained red. What little strength she had left kept her poised above him, staring down at him hungrily.

"You're still with me." Hot tears dripped from her eyes to intermingle with the blood. She collapsed next to him, holding him tight with all she had. Ichika looked briefly to the heavens. "Thank you! Thank you! Thank you! You saved him."

Fuck the gods, especially Izanami! They didn't do shit. Chaz didn't wail, but he thrashed madly. His little fists smacked the ground, then clutched at Ichika's bloodied clothes. For once, his mind and the baby's instincts were in agreement.

He wouldn't let her go - she was his!

"Oh, don't cry," Ichika said faintly. She was fading away. Her thumb brushed away some of the blood on his raw cheek. "You have such a sweet smile. Can you smile for me, Ryu?"

Chaz tried, but all he wanted to do was scream. It probably came out as more of a grimace.

It was enough. Ichika sighed happily and laid her trembling hand against him. "Such a good boy. I - I love you so much, Ryu. Your father will be back soon… I hope you smile a lot for him. He'll need you."

Shut the fuck up. Don't talk like that.

"I saw it all," Ichika sounded as if she were lost in a dream. Her eyes briefly turned to the sky. It was black with smoke and tinged red with the last wisps of flame. "Yondaime-sama saved us all. He took that monster away." She smiled softly at him. Blood dribbled from her mouth. Her eyes were unfocused.

"I hope you'll be like that one day. You'll be strong. You'll do great things… but there's more to life than strength. Be happy. Be loved. Be good. Take -" Ichika heaved. Blood poured from her lips. She tried wiping it away, but didn't have the strength left to lift her hand. "I love -"

Her chakra-burned fingers grasped at him, twitched, and fell still. The baby wailed. Hot tears dripped from his eyes. Chaz reached out for her. He stirred his chakra, tried to find some way to discover medical ninjutsu right here and now, but all it could do was roil beneath his skin.

Kimura Ichika's last sight was of his little fingers brushing her own. She smiled, then the light left her eyes.

Chaz was left all alone. He begged to slip into the baby haze again, to lose all conscious thought and retreat into the darkness, but he couldn't yet. His mind was racing. His heart pounded. Grief he hadn't expected well up in him, spawned anger, and the torrent of feeling twisted up in a ball within his chest -

Tutorial Complete!

Primary Objective: Passed!

Secondary Objective: Failed.

Reward: 100 XP

Fuck off game! You fucking piece of shit. Go away or I swear to God that I'll fucking -

His rage cooled as a fucking amazing feeling filled him up from head to toe. The euphoria felt like the pump after a good workout, the adrenaline rush of winning a fight, the lightning feeling of cocaine but even better. It sounded stupid since he was still a baby, but Chaz felt stronger, and he wished he could -

Level-Up! Congratulations, you are now Level 2. Your bonuses will be applied when you exit the tutorial.

Character Name: Ryo Kimura

Age: 6 months

Level: 2

Experience: 0/100

Stats: *Currently Locked*

Skills: *Currently Locked*

Special Abilities: *Currently Locked*

Reputation:

Konohagakure: 200/1,500 (Kyūbi Survivor)

Great, he leveled up, but still had no idea how any of this shit worked. Could he only level up through quests? What did it even mean? He still had little to no access to the menu's information, but it sounded like he'd be able to cash in his benefits later on.

Then he looked into Ichika's blank eyes and found that he couldn't care less about his boost. What did it matter? He was still a baby. His mother was dead.

He'd gotten a second chance. His mother gave a damn about him in this life. She was a good woman, even if she'd annoyed him at times, and Chaz felt hollow as he looked at her corpse. Ichika's last words swirled around in the maelstrom of his thoughts, and he squeezed his eyes shut.

Be happy. Be loved. Be good.

Fuck. Why give him a family if it was just going to be ripped away? Izanami was cold.

Sure, he'd gotten a bit of a boost from this joke of a quest, but he'd come away with nothing -

The world shifted again.

New Perk Acquired: 'The Mind-Killer'

You have survived an encounter with the Kyūbi. Exposure to its oppressive chakra has granted you a minor resistance to Killing Intent.

Wow, great, whatever. He could still remember that toxic power filling his lungs and searing his skin, the physical weight of the malice pressing down on him. This was better than nothing, he supposed, but it was a poor return considering what he'd lost.

Something about this bloody payment broke the baby free, and he cried and cried and cried.

This game fucking sucked.

He waited in the ruins of the house for hours, lost in Ichika's empty eyes and the cries that he shared with Konoha. Others joined him from all over. Blank-eyed children and adults shuffled mindlessly through the streets as they beheld the devastation.

People clutched survivors close. They wept for the dead. Shinobi hopped from rooftop to rooftop wherever they could, although in this devastated neighborhood they were mostly forced to dash across the ground. His cries mingled with the others.

His father never returned.

"Haru-san! Come quickly. Someone's still alive. It sounds like a baby!" Voices came closer. For a moment his hopes were raised as a man with a Leaf forehead protector leapt into the broken house, but they died swiftly when he realized it was just another shinobi.

Not Hiro.

The man's face was covered in soot and ash. Bloody streaks ran down his arms. He appeared completely exhausted, though the look in his eyes told Chaz that he would be going strong for hours yet. Chakra really was insane.

"Two!" The shinobi called out. A teenage girl, probably a genin, soon rushed in. "Mother and child. Mother is deceased." He picked up Chaz and held him comfortably in the crook of his arm - he must have had children of his own. The chūnin peered down at him with pity in his eyes. "Child is alive. Boy, I think. Here."

"I'm so sorry," the girl whispered to Chaz. She turned him away from Ichika's cooling body. He beat his fists against her, but she barely noticed. "Wait, I know her! That's Hiro-san's wife. What was her name… Ichika! This must be little Ryu. Poor thing."

The chūnin's eyes squeezed shut as a long breath left him. "Fuck. You saw what happened to him."

"What do we do with the baby?"

"You heard the orders. We'll drop him off at one of the emergency shelters. The Iryō-nin can figure out what to do with the boy."

Chaz was silent. The genin didn't look happy about pawning him off, but Chaz couldn't care less right now. He hadn't missed what they'd said about Hiro. Chaz fucking knew he wasn't up for the task of taking on the Nine-Tails… fucking idiot!

His heart ached.

"I'm sorry," the girl murmured to him as she dashed off towards her destination. He finally managed to slip away and let the baby's instincts take over. "The doctors will take care of you, don't you worry!"

Chaz ignored her.

He was so fucking tired.

Maybe when he woke up, he would realize that this was all just a bad dream…

A/N: Hey, sorry that it's a day late. I had this finished yesterday but realized I'd have to change a few things to make things fit with the story's long-term aims. I just wanted to say thanks for the awesome response to the first chapter! I really enjoyed hearing your feedback, and hope you enjoyed this one as well.

Not a very comedic chapter, but it's an important one. I hope you enjoyed it nonetheless. We'll see a return to form next time.

So here's a question – What other powers do you think Chaz should go for? Going further, what would you want to end up with if you were in the Narutoverse? There's some absolutely absurd stuff lol.

I'm considering the filler sort of semi-canon for this since I'm not as familiar with it. I'll use stuff that I like but I'll filter some out if I don't think it would fit, so feel free to include filler abilities if you think it might be cool. I felt like I'd covered the main bases, but there's so much Naruto material out there that it's easy to miss something.

You might notice that Chaz tends to think of things in the dub version while the actual world will normally use the Japanese terms for places and techniques. Figured it would fit since that's what he grew up on and it'll take time for him to think differently.

We'll start seeing more of the canon characters next chapter as the fallout from the attack settles. That'll be the end of this setup phase and the beginning of the real journey. Should be more light-hearted as well.

Anyways, thanks for reading. Shooting for the next update to be released this upcoming Friday. Peace.