Chapter 1
Breathe in. Breathe out. Breathe in. Breathe out. I climb the ladder slowly, wondering what I've gotten myself into. Is it too late to back out? Probably. Breathe in. Breathe out. I make the mistake of looking down; about 12 feet up, a third of the way to the top. In. Out. I hate heights, why am I doing this? When did I start this near daily routine? 25 feet. Well at least I know the answer to these last two questions, it's just embarrassing to admit my mom is still so controlling of my life at 14. Maybe that's every 14-year old's experience though. Still, I should have more of a say and I say I hate this. In. Out. In. Out. 30 feet. I know I have to listen to her though; it's too dangerous not to. It's easier to just give her control.
I've reached the top and look down at the pool below. I've always felt pool water had an unnaturally blue color. Must be the chlorine. Ok, breathe for a few seconds then jump. I do this every day; I can do this now. Just jump, I have no other options; not like I can climb back down. Wind rushed past me while I fall headfirst towards the water. I carve into the water with a small splash and the cold water shocks my system. I hear complaints as soon as I surface, "You need to tighten your form Linnette." My coach is never satisfied with my dives. "Focus on correcting your core when you try again." I look at the clock, 2 more dives then I can leave.
I shiver as I turn the corner of the street. I can't tell if it's because of the crisp autumn air or because I know what waits for me inside her house. Report cards came in today and I suck at history. My feet feel heavy as I walk up the steps to the house. The neighborhood standard brown door loomed over me as I fished my keys out of my backpack. I pause when I reach for the doorknob. How angry will she be? Is she waiting at the door? Probably, maybe. She'll get mad at me if I go through the back door. "Trying to sneak in?" she'll say, and I'd have no excuses to give because she wouldn't be wrong. Punishment is always worse when I try to avoid it. I should just go in.
When I open the door, the front room is dark and silent. I creep inside; the front door sounding particularly loud when it closes behind me, but she doesn't come. Safe for now. Maybe I can make it to my room. I try to avoid the creaks in the stairs when I go up. At the top of the landing I see my sanctuary, I just need to get past the final hurdle: mom's room. I try to speed past, but I fail. My stomach fills with dread when I hear her voice, "Where do you think you're going?" Breathe in. Breathe out. Breathe in. Breathe out.
"My room." I don't look up from the floor when I speak. I want to shrink away to nothing as I walk into her room. I know the punishment would be worse if I waited for her to call me over. "You're useless you know that?! What the fuck is this?" She throws an envelope at me. Don't flinch, it'll only make it worse. When the envelope reaches the ground, I see my school's letterhead stamped in the corner. "M-my report card?" her footsteps feel like a stampede of elephants as she stomps towards me. "I KNOW THAT! Do I look stupid to you?" Oh no, I messed up somehow.
"No, you don't look stupid. I'm sorry." What did I do wrong? I should've talked about the grade. Obviously she was talking about the grade. What's wrong with me? I'm the stupid one, how often had we had these 'talks', I should know what to say by now. Ok calm down and think, I have to be careful about what I say. Just tell her what she wants to hear and follow her lead. Its always easier to follow others leads when their angry at you.
She goes for my neck and I flinch involuntarily. "Why are you flinching? Am I hurting you?" "No" "Am I yelling?" Yes. "No" I make the mistake of looking up from the ground and shrink at the glowering woman standing in front of me. The tears are involuntary. I try hard to keep them in, but I can't. "Why can I never talk to you without you crying? Why are you so sensitive?" She reaches for my neck and pulls me towards the hall closet. I hit my stomach on a shelf when she throws me in. "Since you want to cry, cry in here" She slams the door shut and I hear the lock engage. Darkness overcomes me and I feel safe enough to let the tears fall. Once the floodgates open, I crouch into a ball and feel a burning sensation in my entire body before passing out.
My body aches, I feel like I'm being swallowed by the floor. I strain to open my eyes but gain no benefit from doing so. The closet is completely dark. I only notice I'm lying on a mat once I go to sit up. When did I get put on here? There's nothing inside the closet for me to lay on. When did this heavy blanket get put on top of me? No wonder I felt like I was getting swallowed up. Wait – I can stretch my legs out; this isn't the closet. Am I in my room? My mom has never put me in my room before. She would normally just let me sleep in the closet if it came down to it. And if she had moved me, why did she put a blanket on top of me? This just isn't like her.
The blanket on top of me is thick and warm. Maybe I don't have to get up just yet. I don't know why but I feel so secure. No, I should look around. This just feels weird and off somehow. I sit up but the room is too dark to see anything. I'll have to get up and look around. When I step on the floor, I feel a bamboo mat under my feet. OK weird. But I trudge forward. I see a light coming from behind a screen across the room. From the light I see the screen is decorated with herons standing in a rice field. Weirder. When I open the screen, I see a long hallway that stretches on on either side. The blue hallway had ostentatious tapestries of herons standing in wetlands with gold thread weaved throughout. Okay, I'm not at home.
I quickly close the screen as quietly as I can then try to readjust my eyes to the brightness. Okay I woke up in a strange place I can't even imagine being in my city. It's okay, I could just be dreaming. I start pacing the room. Think. How did I get here? Obviously while I was sleeping, but seriously how? Someone must have moved me while I was sleeping. I shudder thinking about something that unsettling. Does my mom know? If no, then I was kidnapped. If yes…. then I don't know what that means, and I don't want to think about it either.
I hear people talking in front of the door leading the hallway. Oh no, I don't want to meet anyone right now. I don't want to face the reality of my situation yet. I also don't know what'll happen if I do. I quickly lay back under the covers and wait to for the voices to die down. Instead of walking down the hallway like I'd hoped they would, they come into the room. I duck my head under the covers and close my eyes tightly when I hear the screen open across the room.
"She's still sleeping." "She's been asleep for a few hours now, if she wakes up tonight contact me as soon as possible." Two voices, one female, one male. And what is that aura I feel coming off of them? It feels so weird, like I can visualize shifting clouds standing near me. Did they drug me? I don't feel drugged, but I can't imagine anyone sober feeling the way I do. And drugging me would explain why I didn't wake up when someone was moving me.
I hear the man's voice again, "It's late, she may sleep through the night. I'll come by in the morning to check in on her condition if you don't call on me sooner." I don't hear anything so the woman must have only nodded to this; there was a shift in the cloud surrounding her, like the color was changing. I've been asleep for hours? "She was pretty beat up when she arrived. I want to give her a full physical to access the damage to her body." Another nod I assume and another shift in the cloud.
When the screen door closes, I let out a breath I didn't know I was holding. A lot to take in. First, I've been asleep for hours. What time is it? Is it tomorrow already? Second, beat up? Did they mean my old bruises? That had to be it. My mom hasn't hit me all week. How did they see them? They're all hidden. I finally take stock of myself. Completely new clothes, which means they had to have changed me. No wonder they saw them. I shudder again at the second unsettling thought. Who are these people that saw me naked apparently? The man sounded like a doctor; or at least he talked like one. I can't access the woman at all. Seriously, who are they?
I have so many questions, but I don't know if I want those two to answer them. I look around the room again and find a wall of windows. Its pitch black when I look out one. No city lights? Am I in the countryside? What time is it? What day is it? How did I get here? When did I get here? What should I do? My breath hitches in my throat. I sink to the floor and cover my mouth to keep a sound from coming out. Where am I?
Ok, breathe. In. Out. In. Out. I need to breathe; I need to calm down. I can't freak out right now, I need to figure out what is happening. Preferably I found out something before morning. And the first step to doing that is stopping the panic attack I'm about to enter into right now. Breathe in. Breathe out. Breathe in. Breathe out. I'm not going to freak out right now, I'm going to get off the floor and take a look around to figure out where I am. Maybe I can even figure out a way to escape.
Ok step one, get off of the floor. I lift myself up and look at the room again; now that my eyes have adjusted, I can see what I assume is a closet. It's still to dark to make out features but the position it is in the room is on a supporting wall. Another door in the room seemingly leads to outside based on it being on the same wall as the windows. Great, if I'm on the first floor I can just take off. Take off where to I'm not sure yet, but still take off. I can figure that part out later.
Ok step two, find shoes so I can go outside. That'll be hard to do in the dark, plus how much time do I really have to search and then get away. I need to think smartly about this. I know I have to be quiet, so I don't alert anyone outside. For the same reason I can't turn on any lights. If I had a phone I could use the flashlight, but I'll have to make do without one. Fumbling around in the dark will definitely make noise so I'll have to search slowly, but that also means whatever limited time I have will be shortened due to the search.
I sense more shifting clouds coming down the hall so as quietly as I can I quickly dive back under the blanket, hiding my face in the process. I hold my breath as the clouds move past the door and further down the hall. I'm glad they didn't come in; I don't know how long I'll be able to keep faking sleep. Ok so being able to sense people coming will definitely help, but I can't keep diving under the covers every time someone walks by.
I quietly get up and head towards the closet on the other side of the room. Inside I feel around the floor and shelves for shoes. At first all I can feel is more blankets and I get a little discouraged, then on the second shelf I feel clothes and shoes. Perfect! I wish I could see what type of shoes they were but feeling around a bit I can tell there's no fasteners, so I slip them on and head towards the door leading outside.
I place my hand on the handle then stop. What if there's an alarm? How much time will I have to get away if it does? How many people will come after me if I trip it? And how fast are the people that will come after me? I'm not very fast and I'm not used to running away. Should I just stay? I'm not even sure what type of situation I'm in and if it is a kidnapping one it'll probably get worse if I run away and get caught.
Maybe I should stay put until morning? Or walk around to see where I am? Yeah, and when/if I get caught I can say I was confused and got lost. Ok, good plan. With new resolve I hold my breath and open the door. No alarm, that's good. A bitter wind hits me immediately, chilling me to my bones. Though I was changed into long sleeves and wool pants, it didn't completely block out the cold weather like it should have. Have I really only been asleep for a day? It feels more like winter than autumn.
After going back to the closet to feel around for a jacket, I went back to the door and stepped outside. Under the moonlight I can see a lot better than in the room. The immediate problem I notice is that I'm walking on a balcony on the second floor of wherever the hell I am. Not so great. There doesn't look to be a way down to ground floor from the balcony either, sigh, which means I need to walk around inside. Dangerous. No, it'll be fine. Just stick to my lie if I'm caught.
After putting the jacket back and checking that no shifting clouds are coming this way I slip into the hallway. I decide to follow the direction that the herons' bills were pointing and headed left. Being as quiet as I can I walk down the long hall close to the wall, passing by multiple doors along the way. Eventually I hit a corner, so I head left again but when I do I immediately sense more clouds directly ahead of me. And just my luck there were more clouds coming up behind me.
I know I said I would just say I was looking around but being faced with the possibility of actually being face to face with people I panic and duck into the closest room I can. At least this room already has lights turned on in it. It looks like I'm in an office. There's a desk and bookcases on two walls. Despite my first impressions of this place, the room is pretty simple but also seemed rich as well. The desk looked well made and the books on the shelves all looked important. I wonder who uses this room.
Well, it looks like I'm going to find out soon because all the shifting clouds I sensed stopped outside the door! What am I going to do?! There's no closet in this room for me to hide in. Hiding under the desk seems like the first place they'd look. Even so, I found myself ducking under the desk when I hear the door begin to open. There's no way whoever it was didn't see me. What happened to my plan of just saying I was looking around? I abandoned it immediately when it came to crunch time.
There's only one shifting cloud in the room so I guess that's good. I can't explain it, but the cloud is different from all the others I felt before. This is all so nerve-wracking and confusing. I go on high alert when I hear the person in the room cough to get my attention I assume. A male voice comes next, A lot of my castle guards are looking for you. It's surprising that you're here though, we had assumed you had gotten outside somehow."
The voice is smooth and even; it was calming in a way. So much different from the high emotions my mom would display when she talked to me. But, even with as calming as his voice is, I still feel too nervous to answer him. I expected him to be angry by this, usually my mom gets angry when I shut down, instead he kept talking in that soothing monotonous voice, "I'm sure this is very confusing for you. I think it would be best if we took you back to your room, we'll talk about your situation in the morning.
In the morning? That's when the doctor is coming as well. Should I listen to him? Maybe. I don't think whoever these people are are out to harm me. if they were I doubt they'd get a doctor for me, and they probably do a better job of locking me up. I mean I wasn't tied up or anything. And this man's voice is calming all my anxieties. After four deep breathes I crawl out from under the table and follow the man back to the room I woke up in.