He heard the knock on his office door and hollered for the knocker to come in.
"Lieutenant" he heard an officer at his door.
"Yeah?" he looked up from the case.
"Need your sign off"
John sighed. These were the things that Bo was good at and he was terrible at. Bo would have known what to say to this officer, been able to make small talk with him. This guy was lucky he remembered his name.
He turned his attention to the things he had to sign. They were standard things, warrants headed to a judge, bookings that had been made. He couldn't believe Bo did this once every day. He flipped a warrant over and saw a mostly blank sheet of paper with handwriting on it.
Then he stopped dead in his tracks. The pen dropped from his hands.
J-
How long did it take you to notice she wasn't at her desk? Guess you don't appreciate her after all.
His mind went in a million different directions. What did the note mean? He had a bad feeling in his gut.
"Davis?" he said, trying to sound calm to the officer staring at him right now.
"Yeah?"
"could you ask Natalie to come in?"
"Natalie's not here"
His heart dropped, the feeling in his gut got stronger.
"What time is it?"
"About midnight" the officer answered.
He'd lost track of time again. It had been over twelve hours since he'd seen her, but not yet twenty-four. He couldn't file a missing persons report yet. He also couldn't go searching for her in the middle of night since any place she went probably had sleeping family members.
"How long has this pile been waiting for signatures?"
"Hard to say. The day crew didn't want to-" he paused, "bother you" he paused again, "You okay, McBain?"
"yeah, I gotta go" he said, grabbing his keys then quickly leaving.
He didn't care about whatever the uniformed officer thought at that moment. He just had to lay eyes on Natalie before he did anything else.
He dialed her number on muscle memory, not looking as he drove. It went straight to voicemail. He tried three more times before he threw his phone on the passenger side seat and cursed out loud. She was like him, her phone was always on, and he'd called her late often enough to know she'd pick up anyway.
He rushed upstairs to his room.
"Natalie?" he called.
Silence.
She wasn't in bed. She wasn't studying on the couch. She wasn't in the shower.
Where next? He thought.
He ran up the stairs to the roof. She'd been mad. Sometimes, she cooled off up there. That's probably what she was doing now.
"Natalie?"
He scanned the roof. It was dark, but no one was there.
It was past midnight. Rodi's was closed. He couldn't go to her mom's or her grandfather's now. That's probably where she was.
Right?
He had no reason to think otherwise yet. But he couldn't shake the feeling that something was wrong.
Guess you don't appreciate her after all.
Vincent Jones had all but told him that not that long ago. Was he behind it? Had she been seeing him recently?
Almost as he thought that, he knew he was wrong. She seemed bothered by Vincent's advances towards her. But still, he had made advances and he was a criminal.
He didn't want to think about that.
He didn't want to think about anything that could possibly be wrong. He thought back to the fight they'd had this morning. All she'd wanted was for him to leave work and eat dinner, get some sleep at night. If he'd done that-
If he'd done that he would have noticed she wasn't at work much sooner. And now he didn't know what to think.
He headed back downstairs, knowing he couldn't do anything until morning anyway. Hopefully, morning would come and she would show up at work and he would be wrong about the feeling in his gut.
He looked out over the water on the docks. His case was spinning in his mind, but not quite making sense. He glanced at his watch, seeing it was past six. He was going to get yelled at again. He was surprised his phone hadn't rung. He turned away from the water, seeing the casinos and food stands that lined the Atlantic City boardwalk.
A quick walk later and he was walking into his parents' house. He heard them before he saw them, but Natalie's laugh usually stood out to him in any room.
"So anyway, Rex is making progress. His girlfriends mother still hates him and she lives at her moms, so he's still getting in trouble pretty constantly, but –"
"It's a lot better than the trouble he used to get into, let me tell you" Michael interjected.
"But you're staying out of trouble these days?" his mom asked his brother.
"Yes, ma" he rolled his eyes.
"It's this one I'm worried about" his dad said, pointing his head towards Natalie.
"Excuse me, but I'm on the force now. My trouble making days are behind me" Natalie said, matter of factly.
"Are those boys at the station giving you any trouble?" Eve asked her.
"Like John would let that happen" Thomas added.
"I'd like to see 'em get that far" Natalie interjected, then smiled as she looked up to him, "Right?"
"I'd sure like to see 'em cross you" he smirked.
"You're late, John" his mother scolded.
"Yeah, I was surprised you didn't call" he said to Natalie.
"Well, your dad bet me" she said, and checked her watch, "And it is past six, before seven, so I win"
"You couldn't have been ten minutes later?" his dad teased him, handing Natalie the five dollars.
He took a seat next to Natalie, across from Mike, with his dad on his right. The feeling he got watching Natalie fit in so seamlessly with his family warmed his heart. She passed him his mom's mashed potatoes, smiling at the ribbing he was still getting from all four of them. He wasn't sure he'd ever felt so happy as he had in this moment.
In a moment, the lights went out. His mom and Mike were gone. Natalie and his dad sat on a bench across from him. They were in an alley or something like that, it was night, and he got the distinct impression they didn't know he was there.
"So after three years together, he never – "
"Well, that's not fair. We weren't together for three years and he, you know, it was a lot for him"
"You don't have to make excuses for him. Not anymore, not to me" he paused, "and he loved you, plain as day. He shouldn't have gone that long without saying so"
"We really weren't together that long"
"You're too good for him"
"He'd say the same thing" she said, "He so wanted to make you proud. I know he was grown and all, but he wanted to be just like you"
"I know" he said, "I wish you two had more time"
More time? John thought. That didn't sit right.
She looked down, she looked like she was about to cry, "yeah, I do, too"
"Was he happy?"
"He played it real close to the vest, you know, even when it was just the two of us, but, you know, I think he was"
"You think he'll be happy again?"
She sighed, "I don't know. After you, and Catelyn, and this. One person can only take so much" she said, "I think it makes it worse he lost me while trying to solve your murder"
He wanted to shout. He couldn't. He had so many questions – how had he lost her? She was with his dad, that meant she had –
He shot up, breathing hard. It was a dream. Natalie hadn't died, she was –
She wasn't next to him. As the events of yesterday, came back his dream took on more gravity. He checked the time. It wasn't even six yet, he still had a few hours before he could do anything. He checked his phone. Nothing.
Right now, he'd be happy if she showed up to work still pissed at him. He'd be happy to know she spent the night at her moms and that she wanted him to grovel for forgiveness.
He couldn't shake the feeling in his gut that that wasn't going to happen. He knew he wouldn't sleep if he laid back down, and even if he could, he didn't want the dreams to come again. He didn't want to think about how she could have –
He stopped before he could finish that train of thought. He hopped in the shower, hoping against hope all this would look better at the station.