He set up in the squad room. He had his file and the note he'd found last night. He tried to focus on what was written, but really for two hours all he did was stare at her desk and check the clock.
At 9:01, he picked up his phone. He couldn't stomach that he was about to make this phone call.
"Buchanan" he heard on the other end.
He stepped into his office and closed the door, taking a breath before he spoke.
"Bo, I did something stupid"
"John, you are the best cop I know, I doubt it"
Bo always had such faith in him.
"No, um, it's Natalie" he said.
"What's going on?" he heard the shift in his friend's voice.
"We got into a fight yesterday, she hasn't come back"
"You think she's just cooling off?"
"No" he said, "I had a note left for me"
"A note?"
"It was written- it was written the way she leaves me notes, but it wasn't her, it wasn't her hand writing and it wasn't signed"
"What'd it say?"
"It said, 'How long did it take you to notice she wasn't at her desk? Guess you don't appreciate her after all'"
He heard the breath Bo took.
"It had been twelve hours when I –"
"Don't beat yourself up, John. You know Natalie, if she's mad-"
"Her phone's off" John said.
"what's the timeline?" Bo asked.
"She left at 11 yesterday morning. That's the last time I saw her" he said, "I don't know if she went to her mom's or her grandfather's, if that's going to –"
"I got it. You stay there, you still got to hold the station down. I got two hours to check around town, I can cover a lot of ground"
"Okay"
"John" he said, "It's Natalie. She's going to come back"
"yeah" he said, and hung up.
He ran a hand down his face. Legally, he couldn't do anything for another two hours. And he was the acting commissioner in a department that was on thin ice with Internal Affairs. He couldn't risk anything within the walls of the station. She'd kill him for it if he did. He knew what she'd tell him to do. He didn't want to do this over the phone, too, so he headed out.
They usually went to Capricorn when they went out. He never asked her why she preferred Capricorn to Ultra Violet, when her brother-in-law owned one and her brother owned the other. And actually, Antonio wasn't even her brother-in-law yet, or anymore. Or was he? It was hard to keep track of all her relatives, especially since he often wasn't completely paying her attention.
When he walked into UV, he saw Rex and Vincent Jones shaking hands. He stopped.
Guess you don't appreciate her after all.
"Maybe someone who appreciates her the way she should be comes along-"
He'd tried to punch the guy afterwards. He wasn't sure what to do, so he waited. They didn't seem to notice him. Vincent turned first, spotting him.
"Why, good morning, Lieutenant"
"Jones" he answered simply.
"Where is the curvaceous Natalie today?"
He could have decked him. Fortunately, Rex beat him to speaking. "Ew, dude that's my sister"
"I mean, can't blame a guy for looking" Vincent said.
"When was the last time you saw her anyway?" he asked, hoping his voice stayed level.
"Why? Jealous?" he smirked.
"That's not an answer"
"I don't see how that's your business" he moved to walk away, and John blocked him.
"Well let's just assume it is for a minute"
"What am I missing here?" Rex chimed in.
"Oh, Lieutenant McBain here gets all cranky when I point out I could show Natalie a good time, or when I remind him I got him a lead, or that Natalie owes me one" he said, "I'm sure he actually just hates anything I do or say"
"Well, you got one thing right"
"I haven't seen her recently" he said walking away, "but I wouldn't tell you if I had, anyway"
He clenched his fist, wanting to punch the guy. He stopped. He could do this legally in an hour.
"John?" Rex said, behind him.
"Yeah" he turned towards Rex.
"What's going on?"
He looked down. The kid was Natalie's brother. He was a PI. He was doing the right thing. He didn't like PI's in general, but in this case, it was probably best.
"Um, Natalie and I got into a fight"
"John, I don't want to get in the middle of that"
"I know" he paused, "It's just that I haven't seen her since"
"She mad?"
He nodded.
"She might be icing you out"
"Yeah" he said, "but her phone's going right to voicemail"
"Alright that's not really like Nattie, but-"
"I also got a note"
"a note?" he asked.
"Yeah, it- it made it sound like –"
"Not 'like', what did it say?"
"It – it said, How long did it take you to notice she wasn't there. Guess you don't appreciate her after all" he paused, "and it was written, it had our shorthand on it, but it wasn't her handwriting"
"How long did it take you notice?"
"twelve hours"
"Twelve hours?" Rex yelled.
"I know" he said, "But you know, she makes her own hours and her class load's been kinda heavy lately, and she was so mad, I just figured-"
"Yeah" he said, "So what do you got?"
"I can file the missing person report in an hour. Bo's checking around between now and then"
"Okay, I got it" he said.
"Balsom-"
"She's my sister McBain, you don't have to ask"
"Keep me posted?"
"Sure"
When he got back to the station, he found her mom, her dad and Bo congregating in his office, which had sat empty since he'd turned in his badge. His gut was in knots, knowing this meant Bo hadn't found her and that it was his fault. They had under an hour before he could file the report and send the force out to look for her.
"John" Bo called him in.
"Hey" he said, coming in, "Any luck?"
Bo shook his head, "You?"
"No" he said, "I did talk to Balsom"
Bo nodded, "That's probably good. He's at his best when it means something to him"
John nodded.
"Bo, what's going to happen" Clint asked.
"Balsom and I will look everywhere" he said.
John checked his watch and then took his turn, "In about ten minutes I can file the report, and this whole place'll be looking for her"
"How did this happen, John?" her mom asked.
John looked at Bo, hoping to find solace on his friend's face. He found none.
"We got into a fight, I thought she was just cooling off-"
"Our daughter has got quite a hot head" Clint said.
"No, no, she was right, I should have apologized to her and-"
"Oh John" Viki interrupted, "You musn't beat yourself up for fighting with Natalie. We don't know that it would have changed anything"
"We don't have all the facts yet" Bo said.
"We'll find her" John told her parents.
"John" they heard, and their eyes all went to the door, "I got your message" he paused assessing the scene in front of her, "Hi Bo, what's going on?"
"You still got to follow John on this, but it's family so-"
"Family?" he asked, "I'm sorry, what's going on?"
Bo again looked to John. He so wished he and Bo could trade places right now.
"Natalie's missing" he said.
Hugh took a beat. He eyed Bo and her parents before putting his gaze back on John. He wanted to ask how his friend was doing, but he knew John wouldn't answer honestly, not in front of her parents, if he'd answer honestly at all.
"Do we have reason to suspect foul play?"
"It's flimsy, but yes" he said, "It's 11, it's been a full 24 hours, file it. I got the evidence on my desk"
"I'm going to gather anyone that's here" Bo said as they all exited his office.
Hugh and John headed to his office. John headed right to his desk.
"John?" Hugh asked.
"Yeah" he said.
"You okay?"
John picked up the letter to hand over. "I'm fine" he knew why Hugh was asking, and he didn't want to go down that road.
"Natalie goes missing and you're fine?" he took the letter and read it, "John, this is-"
"Flimsy, I know, but-"
"I was going to say it must hurt"
He looked down, "That's not what's important right now"
"Okay" he said, "I'm on it"
John nodded, looking down. He saw an envelope that hadn't been there before. It must have been under the note. It had a J on it.
"Wait a second" he said, and opened it.
J-
Thanks for the head start. You'll never find her now. Who knew you could be so easily distracted?
"Damn it" he said, and threw it down.
"Is it another note?"
"Yeah" he said, and watched Hugh read it, "At least its less flimsy" he shouted.
"What-"
"Just file it" he said, and headed out to the squad room.
Bo gave him a nod. The officers were looking at him expectantly.
"Excuse me everyone" he started, "I want to let everyone know what's going on. As we speak, DA Hughes is filing the paperwork to start a missing person's case for Natalie Buchanan" he paused, "Obviously, Natalie's one of our own and we're all going to use every avenue we can to find her. Any leads, anything you find that might find us something, you don't hesitate to pass it up to me" he said, "Commissioner Buchanan and Private Investigator Balsom are also working on finding Natalie, and you are expected to cooperate with both of them. Any questions, please don't hesitate to ask. Let's find her as fast as we can."
He let the officers disperse, and then he turned to Bo. "I want you to look at the notes"
"there's a second one?"
John just nodded. He made eye contact with Hugh and the three of them went to his office. Bo looked at the notes.
"What do you think he means by distracted?"
"I actually was wondering the same thing" Hugh asked.
"My father's case" he said, "It's been my only focus"
"So whoever has her knows something about your dad's case" Bo said.
"I'm going to voice an unpopular opinion" Hugh said, "This is Natalie we're talking about. This is pretty personal. John, I think you should step out of it"
"What the hell are you talking about?" John yelled.
"He is using her to get to you" he said.
"You think I didn't realize that" he yelled again.
"It's Natalie, John"
"I was there when she stormed out, I know it's her"
"So do the right thing and step aside"
"If I step aside, who do we have looking?"
"He's right" Bo said, "You might not like it, Hugh, but John's the best cop in the station, if not the state, and we need someone good"
"We have a decent-"
"Decent's not good enough" John said.
Hugh looked between Bo and John, "Look, guys, I get it, it's Natalie" he said, "but isn't that all the more reason to do this by the book? If John does-"
"Does what? What is it that you think I'm going to do?" he yelled at him.
"What if you do slip up? What if you let your emotions get the best of you? Then we might lose Natalie and lose your father's case?"
"I'm not going to slip" he said, and he knew his tone portrayed how mad he was at the insinuation.
"He won't" Bo said, "I trust him. I always have, this is no different"
"You know John, maybe you don't want to hear this, but it is Natalie. You can't possibly be objective. And your relationship is-"
"Is what?" he yelled.
"It's the worst kept secret in this building" he said, "someone – an officer, a judge, someone is going to have something to say about it"
"Alright let's get this straight" he yelled back at his friend, "It is Natalie. We will find her. Until Bo is cleared to come back, that means anyone in this building has to answer to me. If you, or anyone else has a problem with that, I don't have time for it, so figure out how to deal"
"Hugh" Bo said, "Please. He's right, and I need the best working on finding her"
Hugh looked down, "Well, I guess this is the time to tell you we got the warrant for Truman's place"
"What?" John asked.
"The warrant you were trying to get to search his room. Judge cleared it an hour ago" Hugh said.
"Okay, um, give it to Wheeler and Mendoza, they can search it"
"Wheeler and Mendoza?" he repeated.
"Hugh" Bo said, looking at him.
"Okay, yeah, sure" Hugh said, leaving.
Bo waited for Hugh to leave before speaking again.
"You know he was just trying to do his job"
"Well, if that's how he does his job-"
"He had a point, John" he said, "It's Natalie. I have no doubt you can do this. But-" he paused, "I need you to keep your job"
"I know" he said, "Bo, I really wish I could trade places with you"
"Me too" he said, "But this is where we're at" he paused, "So you do everything you can, if you hit a wall, and you have a hunch and you can't pursue it, I want you to call me and I will look into it. If I don't answer, call Balsom. I know he's not your favorite, but he will leave no stone unturned when it comes to Natalie"
John nodded.
"John" he said, "you need anything?"
"Um, one hunch maybe you could rule out for me" he said, "Vincent Jones"
"The mob guy?"
"Yeah, he, uh, he's made his dislike of me and his interest in her very well known" he paused, "the first note sounded like something he might say about me or her, but the second-"
"Not so much?"
John shook his head, "No, and I don't know if I'm just reading too much-"
"It's okay, John. I'll get right on it. It's all I can do"
John nodded, "thanks, Bo"
As Bo headed out, no doubt to console her parents and usher them out of the squad room. He sat at his desk and hung his head in his hands.