Chapter 14
I pace around the master bathroom. Ok so I was scared about sleeping alone but maybe this is a bad idea. Gaara says his house is private, that no one would catch us. And its not like we're going to be doing anything. That was the first thing I made clear to him when I asked. But no matter what, Gaara and I aren't married yet and that's a bad look for me. Who cares if we're getting married next week. Premarital sex is still premarital sex and I'm expected to stay far away from it. Besides how long can I actually keep this up? Am I just going to sleep in Gaara's bed from now on?
I hear a knock at the door and turn my head towards it. How long have I been in here? Gaara must be getting worried. When I open up, he's standing there in pajama pants and oh my god no shirt. I close the door as soon as I open it. Why wouldn't he put on a shirt? I swear he's doing this on purpose. He wants me to feel uncomfortable. I hear him knock on the door again, "I have to use the bathroom." I open the door a crack and look nowhere else except his face, "You don't have a shirt on." "I know that." That's all he has to say? Just 'I know'? I glare at him. He sighs, "It may be winter but its still hot in the desert. I'm not going to put on a shirt just to sweat it off in the middle of the night."
I can't say that doesn't make sense. I'm in a pair of short shorts and a tank myself, I just wasn't expecting him to be shirtless. "Can I use the bathroom?" Oh right! I've been hogging the bathroom this whole time. I nod furiously at him then quickly slip past him trying my best not to look at his body. By the time I crawl into bed the bathroom door is closed again. Ok calm down Aiko. I take stock of his room. Minimally decorated. I giggle, that seems like Gaara. On the left is a table next to a window; twenty different cacti rest on top of it. New fact obtained: Gaara keeps cacti. Who would have guessed?
The bathroom door opening pulled me out of my thoughts. I peered over by the door and see Gaara walk towards the dresser. His pants hung low on his hips with the elastic of his boxers peeking through. A flash of blue grabs my attention. Dark blue lines laid on top of his skin. Its hard to see from the side but when you look at his chest square on you can see it's a tattoo of a heron. Similar to the tattoos I got from the pendant. The heron in standing with one leg up in a stream. It looks off to the side with a fish hanging from its mouth. Gaara's tattoo doesn't cover his full torso like mine does, instead there is a round frame surrounding the image made from rice plants.
Wait. Square on? I look up and see Gaara smirking at me. "Enjoying the view?" Oh god he saw me ogling him. Well, I wasn't really but I doubt he'd believe me, "I was looking at your tattoo." His smirk doesn't drop an inch. I notice a shirt scrunched in his hand. "I was going to put a shirt on but if you prefer…" I bring my legs up to my chest and bury my head into my knees. I'm mortified. "Shirt please." I don't take my head out of my knees, even when I feel the bed sink next to me. Even when he begins rubbing circles in my back.
"I really don't mind if you look at me." Does he think I feel mortified because I looked at him? I mean I do but that's not exactly why. "I'm not supposed to do that stuff until we're married." He continues to rub circles on my back and I begin to relax. "You say that a lot." He sounded bored and I could feel annoyance creep into him. I shoot up and glower at him. Of course I do, "My father is a feudal lord. I have a reputation to keep. I can't do anything premarital. Its bad enough I'm sleeping in your room alone. What would Mother think if she was here?" He only hummed in response. At least I could feel his annoyance fade away. He at least understands where I'm coming from.
Now that I'm looking at him, I have the chance to be trapped in the gravitational pull of his eyes. His hand that was rubbing my back stopped and slid to my side, pulling me closer towards him. His other hand cupped my cheek. "Is a kiss ok?" A kiss. That's right, we were interrupted earlier. His face was so close to mine. Remembering it brought a pool of heat that settled between my legs. Gaara's emotions begin to mimic mine; I could feel his own arousal begin to creep into him. "Kissing is ok… but just kissing."
I hear a soft hum come from him before he pulls me into his lap, my legs now hanging over the side of the bed. My shoulder is touching his chest, which thankfully is covered now. Gaara's hand settled on my hip, his thump slips under my shirt and begins stroking my skin. My skin heats up with every swipe. I wrap my arm around him so I could twist and face him. I placed my other hand on his chest, making small swiping motions myself. His free hand left my cheek and began trailing up and down my arm, his fingertips dancing along my skin.
Despite being embarrassed about this position, I couldn't look away from his eyes. Enchanting, just enchanting. I fall under his spell easily and willingly. It felt like those pale blue eyes were looking straight through my eyes to my soul. His fingers trail up my arm and then moves to put a loose strand of hair behind my ear, thumb lightly grazing my cheek. I shudder in his arms as his lust builds higher and higher, threatening to choke me. The more aroused he got, the more my arousal grew. The more aroused I got, the more his arousal grew. Feeding off each other in a state of symbiosis.
"Kiss me" I hated how whiny I sounded but I couldn't take this suspense anymore. I needed him. Gaara doesn't give me a second to change my mind, his lips crashed into mine. His lips danced over mine, sucking and biting them. I follow his lead and soon we have a steady rhythm going. My entire body is on fire. My underwear starts to get wet and I could feel Gaara poking my leg. His free hand tangles in my hair and uses it to establish dominance in our kiss though I wouldn't have tried to leave the submissive role.
He pulls sharply on my hair and I gasp; he takes that chance to slip his tongue into my mouth. Moan from the new sensation. Tentatively my own tongue brushed up against his, dancing with it. When I felt confident enough I slip my tongue into Gaara's mouth. He deepens the kissed and we moan into each other's mouth. When I pull away for air we both start panting, out of breathe from how long we stayed connected together. I feel drunk, unable to think clearly. All I knew is I wanted more.
"We should stop." I whimpered at Gaara's words; I didn't want this to be over yet. I try to lean to start kissing him again but his grip on my hair stops me from moving to far. The thumb on his hand on my hip begins stroking my skin again; the other began stroking my bottom lip. "I don't know if I'll be able to stop if we go any further." I make a whiny sound and begin to squirm in his lap. Gaara quickly uses both hands to hold my hips in place. We both make the slow descend back to Earth.
"That was my first kiss." I'm laying in his arms by now. Once we came down from our high Gaara turned off the light, crawled back into bed, then pulled me against him so I was resting in his arms. I don't know why I said that, it's obvious by now. Maybe I shouldn't have even brought it up, its not like I enjoy talking about it. "It's still hard for me to believe that you had no one that even tried to get close to you. You're too beautiful."
Beautiful? Can that really be true if only one person has said that to me? Gaara doesn't seem like the type to say that lightly but he's also my fiancé. He's supposed to be nice to me, it doesn't necessarily mean its actually true. "Do you really believe that?" I regret the question as soon as it leaves my mouth. I should have just taken the compliment and left it at that. He doesn't say anything but I can tell he's looking at me. in a moment I feel shift to sit up on the bed and then the side table lamp was on. "Do you really not know how gorgeous you are?"
The question shocked me; I've never had anyone directly ask that to me. I didn't know how to answer. Should I be truthful, or should I just say what I think he wants to hear. If I lie then I'm convinced that he'll see through me. If I tell the truth then we'll have to talk about growing up in the castle. If we get started then I know I'll start crying and I can't have a panic attack and cry in front of him on the same day.
"I…" I feel embarrassed and I'm starting to remember bad memories. "Can we go to sleep now? I'm tired." You could hear the tears in my voice as I said the words. I'm sure I looked like I was about to cry too. Gaara takes a few moments to look at me. I feel his eyes search mine for answers. His brow furrows and he opens his mouth but no sound came out. Thankfully, after what felt like an eternity, he nods then turns the light off and lays back down. I cuddle against his chest and try to forget about this whole awkward moment. He wraps his arms around me and I start to calm back down. "We'll talk about it tomorrow."