Chapter 15

The morning sun filtered through the window, rousing me from my sleep. The room is peaceful and that comfortable morning feeling that keeps you from getting out of bed starts to set in. Gaara's arm was gently draped over my stomach, barely any weight added to it. My shirt was raised a little, exposing my stomach and giving him the opportunity to touch my bare skin. I'm too tired to feel weird or embarrassed about it. My back was flush against his chest and I could feel his skin against mine, with only the thin fabric of our shirts keeping us from full contact.

Slowly everything that happened yesterday came back to my memory. Gaara doesn't think I'm a tease. He even blames himself for what happened the other day. He can sense emotions just like I can and he's gotten a good handle on what all mine are. I wonder if he can feel everyone's emotions or just mine. Kaito was spotted near Suna so now I'm sleeping in Gaara's room to be safe. I wonder if Kaito heard about the wedding and plan to take me before then, or maybe after on our honeymoon. How safe am I here now? And I couldn't keep my big mouth shut when Gaara called me beautiful so now we have to have a talk. Probably as soon as we both wake up.

The comfortable feeling I had when I woke up immediately faded away, being replaced by anxiety. Maybe I can sneak away before he wakes up. We'll still have to talk but at least not early in the morning. At least I could come up with some story to explain why I reacted the way I did yesterday. Maybe I'll even be able to convince him that it was all a mistake and I actually do think I'm pretty. It'd have to be really convincing, he seems to see right through me now that he's in tune with my emotions. But what can I really say? What would someone that thought they were pretty say?

I slowly try to slip from under Gaara's arms to make a break for it. I can't stay here. "Are you finally awake?" My whole body tenses. He's already awake? I didn't even really get a chance to try to sneak away. Stupid ninjas and their heightened senses. He doesn't wait for me to answer, "We need to talk about last night." My entire body fills with dread. Nausea starts to creep into the pit of my stomach. "Uh, I have to go to the bathroom." Without wasting a second, I hop out of bed and rush to the bathroom.

Ok, now that I'm in here what do I do next? Gaara doesn't seem like he'd let me weasel out of this conversation. I could ask that we talk about it later, maybe use the excuse of breakfast to get out of it at least for now. I doubt he'd let me push it off indefinitely. He seems to want us to talk now though. I suck at lying so telling him I actually do think I'm beautiful probably won't get me anywhere either. I could just be agreeable. Let him say what he has to say then just tell him what he wants to hear. That's almost certainly the better plan.

I can sense him right by the bathroom door. He doesn't knock, just stands there waiting. He's frustrated. Which probably means he saw threw me 'needing' to use the bathroom. That was an obvious lie; plus I now know that he can sense my emotions as well so that was probably a big indicator. How is he going to respond to me just saying what he wants to hear? It'll depend on if he likes to be heard or likes to be right. If he likes to be right, he'll take me agreeing with him at face value and the whole thing will be over quickly. If he likes to be heard, however, he'll want specific details on why I agree and if they match what he was saying. It's a lot more difficult to fake it with an I-want-to-be-heard people.

Gaara's knocking now, I guess he's tired of waiting for me. I could feel him starting to worry. This would be a lot less nerve-wracking if I knew anything about him or how he reacts to things. Its actually pretty pathetic that after four days I only know four facts about him, and one of those facts I never would have learned if I didn't stay with him last night. Temperament-wise he seems pretty levelheaded, he has to be to be a kage. Although it feels like he only gets extreme emotions when he's around me. I don't know whether that's me bringing out the best or worst in him and what that means for right now.

I take a deep breath to calm my nerves. At least I'm not as emotional as I was last night, everything felt so raw. Finding out Kaito was around chilled me to the bone and the lead up to finding out wasn't easy either. This conversation should be easier to have today than yesterday; as long as I don't cry this time I'll call it a win. Father's words ring in my head, I'm not going to let Gaara see me cry. Despite how much it meant to me when he helped, I don't ever want him to see me in the state I was yesterday again. Its embarrassing and I don't want him to think I'm some weak child that can't control herself.

His face is blank when I face him. He calmed down so now his emotions are mostly neutral, making him impossible to read. "Are you ready to talk about last night?" Ugh, he does want to talk about it immediately. After I nodded yes Gaara took my hand and lead me to the bed. Ok plan distract-with-breakfast-first is out, I'll just let him say his piece then agree and go from there. "Tell me why you don't see yourself as beautiful." Woah woah woah, he's supposed to do the talking first. How am I supposed to agree with him if he doesn't talk first? How am I supposed to say what he wants to hear with no real hints about what he wants?

Well I know he wants me to think of myself as beautiful, I'll start from there. "I do think I'm beautiful. I'm very pretty." Uh oh, he got angry immediately. His face is neutral, but I can feel his emotions beginning to stir. He's frustrated and worried again. "Do not lie to me, Tell me why." So that didn't work. What now? "I…" I don't know what to say. What is there even to say? There's no real reason I feel this way, I just do. I always have. I look down to the floor, "I don't know." I expected him to get angry again, but he didn't. He was quiet, I guess waiting for me to continue.

Even if he waits for me I don't know how to answer him. I have a feeling telling him how I really feel, that I'm not beautiful, won't go over well. But that also seems to be what he wants. So what DO I say? Am I supposed to just list out all my flaws in front of him? What if he just doesn't realize I'm not? If I tell him everything wrong with me he could back out of the wedding. Or be miserable our entire marriage. Maybe he'll let me get away with just saying the minimum required to answer this question. "I don't know. I feel like beautiful is reserved for people that are really pretty, I'm just average." Drops of sadness begins to mix into his emotions, replacing the frustration he was just feeling. "You think you're only average?" I don't think, I am only average.

Gaara is quiet again and I peak up to see that he's closed his eyes to think. To think for what feels like an eternity. Its unnerving. What's he going to say when he's done? I fidget under the stress. He seemed really upset about what I said. Am I upsetting him too much? Most likely. I've been wishy washy about our marriage, about him touching me, about staying in his room, and now I've upset him again. Am I going to be a good wife? I feel like I'm already failing, failing hard.

Finally he opens his eyes, "Someone told you you were only average?" He's trying to find someone to blame when there really isn't one. "No, no one did something like that. I just know I am." Gaara closes his eyes again to think some more. Its just as unnerving as before. "Why do you think you're only average?" The question surprised me. I've never really thought about it, I just knew it was true. I mean if I was beautiful then I bet, despite the hate I got from the prophecy, guys would have been more interested in me before now. I mean Gaara is the only guy to ever notice me. After a few moments he opens his eyes again to look at me, waiting for my answer. "I don't know."

"Ok, I'll prove to you that you're more than just average." What? "What?" he looks me in the eyes and I immediately feel that gravitational pull. "I'm going to prove to you that you're beautiful." Prove to me that I'm beautiful? He wants to prove to me I'm beautiful. How does he plan on accomplishing that? Its not like he can trick me into seeing someone else. Or love bomb me until I change my mind. I know what I look like and its painfully average. But he always looks so sincere. And he's stubborn so I know nothing I'll do will stop him from trying or changing his mind on the matter. Maybe he will wear me down until I just agree with him. I'm not sure I'm ready for such a change.