Author's note: I do not own anything having to do with Supernatural, only Leah belongs to me. Just a reminder SUPERNATURAL signifies a break in time. Please excuse any mistakes as I don't have a Beta but if anyone is interested send me a PM! As always please remember to ~Read and Review~

Chapter 24- The Five Stages of Grief

We stood in a field watching my father's body burn on the pyre Dean had insisted on making himself. It was the proper hunter's funeral; my father's body was wrapped in cloth, covered in salt and doused with gasoline before being lit on fire. I knew this is what had to be done, I knew that this is what my father would have wanted but standing there watching my dad's body be incased by flames was an image I never wanted to see. I stood between both brothers; Dean's pain written on his face with tears in his eyes that he refused to let fall and Sam with tears running down his cheeks matching my own.

"Before he…before he…" Sam tried, "Did he say anything to you?...about anything?"

I shook my head no. What was I supposed to say? That my dad knew he was going to die or that if I had gotten to yellow eyes first that would have been me on the pyre instead.

"No," Dean answered so softly it was barely audible, "nothing."

I knew dad had said something to him but figured just like me, it was his goodbye to Dean. I said one last silent goodbye before turning and walking back to the car we had borrowed from Bobby.

"Le?" Sam called after me.

"Let her go," I heard Dean say to him.

SUPERNATURAL- One Week Later

We were staying at Bobby's while Dean fixed the car, I stayed in my room all day and Sam ran between us trying to get someone to open up about their feelings like a young Dr. Phil. I would sit all day in a chair by the window where I could see Dean but I could also see the driveway. I used to sit there for hours on end when we would stay with Bobby when we were younger waiting to hear the roar of the Impala's engine pulling down the driveway. I knew without a doubt that my dad was dead, we had burned him on the pyre, but for some reason I couldn't pull myself away from the window and the hope that I would see him riding down that dirt road. This had become my new routine. I was in the same pajamas for over a week, I had barely slept or eaten, I hadn't taken a shower or even come out of my room; I just sat that there like a lost puppy waiting for its owner to come home. I had cried myself dry within the first three days now all I felt was numb.

"How's the car coming along?" I heard Sam ask as I watched out the window.

"Slow," Dean answered.

"Yeah," Sam nodded, "You need any help?"

"What you under a hood?... I'll pass," Dean replied as he continued to work underneath the car.

"Well then maybe you can try and get Le to help you, she needs to get out of that room."

"She will when she is ready."

"Need anything else then?" Sam tried again.

"Stop it Sammy," Dean said as he rolled out from under the car.

"Stop what?"

"Stop asking if I need anything, stop asking if I'm ok," Dean answered, "really I promise."

"It's just that we have been at Bobby's for over a week now and you haven't brought up dad once…neither has Leah."

"You know what you're right, come here I'm going to lay my head gently on your shoulder maybe we can cry, hug and maybe even slow dance," Dean scoffed.

"Don't patronize me Dean dad is dead, the Colt is gone and it seems pretty damn likely that the demon is behind all this and you're acting like nothing happened!"

Sammy you don't know how right you are, I thought to myself.

"What do you want me to say?" Dean questioned.

"Say something! Alright? Say anything! Aren't you angry? Don't you want revenge? Don't you care that your sister is slipping away? But all you do is sit out here all day long buried underneath this damn car!"

"Revenge, huh?"

"Yeah."

"Sounds good. You got any leads on where the demon is? Making heads or tails of any of dad's research? Because I sure ain't. But you know if we do finally find it…oh, no wait like you said, the Colt's gone. But I'm sure you've figured out another way to kill it. We've got nothing Sam…nothing, ok? There is nothing I can say or do that will snap Le out of whatever it is she is going through, the only thing I can do is work on the car," Dean replied before rolling himself back under the car.

I saw Sam sigh and head for the house. I knew I was his next stop, he was so predictable and as if on cue a minute later there was a knock at my door. When I didn't answer he let himself in.

"How you feeling today?" he asked as he sat down on the bed.

I slightly shrugged my shoulders to show that I had heard him but continued to stare out the window.

"Come on babe, cry…yell…argue with me…something," Sam pleaded but again I gave no response so he continued, "You have always been a fireball of emotions; something made you sad you cried, something made you angry you showed it by putting holes in the wall or screaming so loud we could hear you down the street but all you do is sit here in this room all day…can you at least look at me?"

I didn't turn around to meet Sam's eyes because I knew if I did he would be able to read the pain in my own and I could hear him sigh.

"There's something I thought you might want to see in here," he said before getting up and closing the door behind him.

Once I heard the door close I turned around to see my dad's journal sitting on my bed. Before I could even pick it up I grabbed my knife out of my duffle and made three little lines on my arm. I knew it was wrong but it was the only pain I could control. After the euphoric feeling started drifting away I stared at my dad's journal I couldn't imagine what Sam would want me to look at, I knew that journal like the back of my hand. I picked it up anyways and flipped through the pages. It wasn't until the last page I noticed my dad had added something.

Don't give up little girl, it is up to you now, it's your fight.

Just reading that once sentence, those fourteen words something inside me snapped. My dad had given me a job to do. I closed the journal, grabbed clean clothes out of my bag and went and took a long hot shower. I made my way down the stairs and sifted through the box of my dad's things from the hospital and pulled out my dad's old cell phone before making my way into Bobby's study. I sat there for hours trying to crack his voicemail code and looking over every book Bobby had that even mentioned yellow eyes but unfortunately there wasn't much.

The next day I walked out to the Impala where Dean was working under the hood and Sam was standing there pretending to help, I couldn't miss the surprised look on Sam's face as I got closer to them.

"I've got something," I stated.

"What?" Sam questioned as Dean rolled out from underneath the car.

"This is dad's old cell phone, it took me all day but I cracked his voicemail code…listen to this," I replied as I played the message.

"John, it's Ellen…again. Look, don't be stubborn you know I can help you. Call me."

"That message is four months old," I continued.

"Dad saved that chick's message for four months?" Dean asked.

"Yeah," I answered.

"Well who's Ellen? Any mention of her in dad's journal?" Sam questioned.

"No, but I ran a trace on her number and got an address, I'm going to go check it out," I answered and started walking away.

"Wait," Dean yelled after me and I stopped to look at him, "Ask Bobby if we can use one of his cars we will all go."

SUPERNATURAL

"This is humiliating," Dean exclaimed as we pulled up to the address in a run down minivan and we got out of the car, "I feel like a friggin' soccer mom!"

"It's the only car Bobby had running," Sam said.

"Hello?" I called out, "Anybody here?"

"Hey did you bring the uh…" Dean asked me.

"Here," I said flipping him the lock picking set.

He picked the lock and we walked inside the bar. It was completely empty except for some guy laying on a pool table.

"Hey buddy?" Sam tried but got no response, "I'm guessing that isn't Ellen."

"Yeah," I nodded.

Sam went into the backroom to look around and I walked closer to the guy on the pool table to see if he was still alive when I heard Dean.

"Oh God please let that be a rifle."

I turned around to see some blonde girl with a rifle to Dean's back.

"No, I'm just real happy to see you," she retorted, "Don't move."

"Not moving, copy that. You know, you should know something miss when you put a rifle on someone, you don't want to put it right against their back because it makes it really easy to do…" he said turning around grabbing the gun and un-cocking it, "that."

I figured he had it under control and finished checking that the guy was alive when I heard her punch Dean in the face.

"Hey!" I yelled pointing my gun at her.

"Sam! Need some help in here!" Dean yelled before mumbling, "I can't see, I can't even see."

"I'm a faster shot," the girl smiled as she aimed the gun at me.

"Wanna bet?" I smiled back.

"Sorry Dean, I can't right now I'm a…little tied up," Sam walked into the room with his hands on his head and a woman with a gun to him.

"Princess you would be no match against Leah," Dean smirked.

"Sam? Dean? Leah?...Winchester?" the woman behind Sam asked.

"Yeah," the boys answered as I kept my gun on the girl.

"Son of a bitch," the woman whispered.

"Mom you know these three?" the girl asked.

"Yeah, I think these are John Winchester's kids," she said lowering her gun, "Hey, I'm Ellen. This is my daughter Jo."

Jo and I lowered our guns and Ellen grabbed some ice for Dean's face.

"You called our dad, said you could help…help with what?" Dean asked as he held the ice to his face.

"Well the demon of course, I heard he was closing in on it," Ellen answered.

"What was there an article in the Demon Hunters Quarterly that I missed? I mean who, who are you? How do you know all of this?" Dean questioned.

"Hey, I just run a saloon but hunters have been known to pass through now and again, including your dad a long time ago…John was like family once," Ellen replied.

"How come he never mentioned you before?" I questioned getting upset at the fact that they considered my dad family yet we have never heard about them.

"You'd have to ask him that," Ellen stated.

"So why exactly do we need your help?" I asked rudely.

"Hey, don't do me any favors. Look, you don't want my help, fine don't let the door smack your ass on the way out but John wouldn't have sent you if…" she trailed off, "He didn't send you…He's alright, isn't he?"

"No, no he isn't. It was the demon, we think. It just got him before he got it, I guess," Sam answered.

"I'm so sorry," Ellen said sympathetically.

"It's ok, we're alright," Dean said.

"Really? I know how close you and your dad were," Ellen continued.

"Really lady, we're fine," Dean stated.

"Bathroom?" I asked.

"Through those doors and to the left," Jo answered pointing me in the right direction.

As soon as I got into the bathroom I locked the door, threw my jacket in the sink, rolled up my sleeve and made another cut on my arm. Maybe this was a mistake, I shouldn't have left Bobby's, I wasn't ready for this. I flushed the toilet and put toilet paper over the cut before rolling my sleeve back down and throwing my jacket back on. I walked back out to the main room to see the guy from before going through my dad's work.

"Come on this crap ain't real, there ain't nobody that can track a demon like this," he commented flipping through more pages.

"What are you doing?" I asked not liking the fact he was going through my dad's things.

"This is Ash, Ellen says he can help," Dean replied.

"What this Joe Dirt wanna be?" I almost laughed in face.

"Hey I'll have you know I went to MIT," Ash smiled.

"Who knew MIT let in people with such awful grammar," I scoffed.

"I like her she's feisty," Ash said leaning over the bar to look me up and down.

"She's their sister," Ellen warned.

"Got ya," Ash nodded and warily glanced at Sam and Dean before scanning the pages again.

"Can you track it or not?" Sam asked.

"Yeah with this, I think so but it's going to take time give me…fifty one hours," he replied before getting off the barstool.

Jo walked by to clean off some tables and Dean clearly checked her out before following her.

"You ok?" Sam asked as I sat down next to him.

"Hey Ellen, what's that?" I asked pointing behind the counter ignoring Sam's question.

"It's a police scanner, we keep tabs on things we…" she replied before I cut her off.

"No, no, no the folder."

"I was going to give this to a friend of mine but take a look if you want," she said handing it over.

"We'll take it," I stated.

I started flipping through the newspaper articles and I could feel Sam's stare boring a hole through the side of my head.

"What?" I asked not bothering to look up.

"Are you sure you are alright?" he questioned.

I sighed in frustration before making my way over to Dean, "Come on we have a job."

"We do?" he asked.

"A few murders not far from here that Ellen caught wind of," I answered.

"Yeah, so?" Dean questioned.

"She told her we would check it out," Sam stated appearing behind me.

SUPERNATURAL

"You've got to be kidding me…a killer clown?" Dean scoffed as we drove down the highway.

"Yeah, he left the daughter unharmed and killed the parents…ripped them to pieces actually," Sam replied as he looked through the folder.

"And this family was at some carnival that night?" Dean asked.

"Yeah the Cooper carnival," Sam answered.

"So how do you know we aren't dealing with some psycho carnie in a clown suit?" Dean questioned.

"Well, the cops have no viable leads and all the employees were tearing down shop, alibis all around, plus the girl said she saw a clown vanish into thin air…cops are saying trauma of course," I answered from the backseat.

"Well I know what you're thinking Sam, why did it have to be clowns?" Dean smirked.

"Oh, give me a break," Sam sighed.

"You didn't think I'd remember, did you? I mean come on you still bust out crying whenever you see Ronald McDonald on the television," Dean laughed.

"Well, at least I'm not afraid of flying," Sam stated before looking at me in the backseat, "Or rats."

"Planes crash!" Dean exclaimed.

"And apparently clowns kill!" Sam yelled.

"You ever think maybe Leah took this case because it had to do with clowns and it's her way of getting you back for being on her case the last week?" Dean questioned.

"No I think she took this case because she wouldn't be able to sit still for fifty one hours and instead of dealing with her emotions she is throwing herself into a job," Sam replied.

"You realize I can hear everything you are saying, right?" I spoke up.

"Then please correct us if we are wrong," Sam stated.

"So…these types of murders, they ever happen before?" Dean asked quickly changing the subject.

"1981, the Bunker Brothers Circus, same M.O. it happened three times at three different locations," I answered, "It's weird though, I mean if it is a spirit it's usually bound to a specific location, you know a house or a town."

"So how's this one moving from city to city, carnival to carnival?" Sam asked.

"Cursed object maybe," Dean suggested, "Spirit attaches itself to something and the carnival carries it around with them."

"Paranormal scavenger hunt," I commented.

SUPERNATURAL

"Check it out, five-oh," Dean stated as we pulled up to the carnival.

Dean went over to find out what he could while Sam and I waited by the tilt-o-whirl.

"You remember when dad took us to the carnival when we were younger, you used to ride this thing until it made you sick," Sam smiled at the memory, "And you were so excited when Dean won you a teddy bear that was bigger than you were."

"I don't remember," I lied.

"You don't?" Sam asked.

"Don't what?" Dean questioned coming back over.

"More murders?" I asked ignoring both questions.

Dean and Sam shared a look before Dean answered, "Two more last night apparently they were ripped to shreds and they had a little boy with them."

"Who fingered a clown," Sam muttered.

"Yeah a clown who apparently vanished into thin air," Dean answered.

"Dean, you know, looking for a cursed object is like trying to find a needle in a stack of needles, they could be anything," Sam commented.

"Well it's bound to give off EMF so we just have to scan everything," I stated.

"Oh good that's nice and…inconspicuous," Sam scoffed.

"I guess we will just have to blend in," Dean said pointing to a sign that said 'help wanted inquire with J. Cooper'.

"I'm not going to be some carnie," I objected.

"This job was your idea and we need to blend in we have no other choice," Sam stated.

"You two do it," I argued.

"What do you have against carnies?" Sam asked.

"Nothing I'm just not going to be one," I replied.

"Yes you are!" Sam yelled.

"No I'm not!" I yelled back.

"Well happy to see it only took a week to get you two back on track," Dean sighed.

"Fine you don't have to be a carnie…if you tell me one honest thing about how you are feeling right now," Sam challenged.

"This sucks," I grumbled as I followed Dean into the tent.

"Excuse me we are looking for a Mr. Cooper have you seen him around?" Dean asked a man who was throwing knives.

"What is that a joke?" the man asked taking his sunglasses off to reveal that he was blind.

"Oh God I'm sorry I…" Dean stumbled over his words.

"You think I wouldn't give my eyeteeth to see Mr. Cooper…or a sunset…or anything at all," the man exclaimed.

"Wanna give me a little help here?" Dean asked Sam.

"Not really," Sam replied.

"Hey Barry, is there a problem?" a short man asked appearing out of no where.

"Yeah, this guy hates blind people," the man answered.

"No I don't! I…" Dean tried.

"Hey buddy, what's your problem?" the short man asked.

"Nothing, it's just a little misunderstanding," Dean tried to explain and I could have kicked him for his choice of words while Sam stood there laughing.

"Little?! You son of a bitch!" the short man exclaimed.

"Could someone please tell us where Mr. Cooper is before my brother digs himself a deeper hole?" I asked.

The short man pointed towards the back of the tent.

"Thank you," I nodded pulling Dean along with me.

"You three picked a hell of a time to join up," Mr. Cooper said as we entered his office.

There were only two chairs to sit on in front of the desk a regular chair and a clown chair. Dean sat down on the regular chair and I quickly jumped onto his lap. Dean was about to protest when he realized that meant Sam had to sit in the clown chair and put his arm around my waist so I wouldn't fall off.

"We've got all kinds of local trouble," Mr. Cooper continued as he took his seat behind the desk.

"What do you mean?" Dean questioned and I had to bite my lip so I wouldn't bust out laughing as Sam fidgeted in his seat, sitting as far to the front as possible.

"Oh, a couple of folks got themselves murdered. Cops always seem to start here first. So, you three ever worked the circuit before?"

"Yes sir, last year through Texas and Arkansas," Sam replied.

"Doing what?" Mr. Cooper asked.

"Just a little bit of everything I guess," Sam answered.

Could he be a worse liar? I mean it should be in his blood to be able to lie, Dean and I can do it so well, I thought.

"You three have never worked a show in your lives before have you?" Mr. Cooper questioned.

"Nope but we really need the work," I replied.

"And Sam has a thing for the bearded lady," Dean added.

"You see that picture?" he asked pointing behind him, "That's my daddy."

"You look just like him," Sam said.

"He was in the business, ran a freak show until they outlawed them most places. Apparently displaying the deformed isn't dignified. So most of the performers went from honest work to rotting in hospitals and asylums, that's progress, I guess. You see this place is a refuge for outcasts, always has been, for folks that don't fit in nowhere else. But you three should go to school, have two point five kids…live regular."

"We are outcasts," I mumbled.

"Sir we don't want to go to school and we don't want regular, we want this," Sam stated.

Mr. Cooper reluctantly gave us the jobs…as garbage pickers. He handed us each a red jacket that was our uniform.

"That whole 'I don't want to go back to school' thing, were you just saying that to Cooper or were you, you know saying it?" I asked after we left Mr. Cooper's office but he didn't answer, "Sam?"

"What so I have to tell you what I'm thinking but you would rather work as a carnie then talk to me?" Sam retorted.

"I'm kind of curious," Dean said.

"I don't know," Sam sighed.

"You don't know?" I exclaimed, "I thought that once the demon was dead and the fat lady sings that you were going to take off, head back to Wussy State."

"Well I'm having second thoughts," Sam replied.

"Really?" Dean questioned.

"Yeah I think dad would have wanted me to stick with the job," Sam answered.

"Since when do you give a damn what dad wanted? You spent half your life doing exactly what he didn't want, Sam, hell you even tried to get me to do it!" I nearly shouted.

"Since he died, ok? Do you have a problem with that?" Sam asked getting in my face a little.

"No, I don't have a problem at all," I answered walking away.

SUPERNATURAL- Flashback

"Daddy I don't want to go in the fun house," a five year old Leah whimpered hiding behind her dad's legs.

"Come on Le it will be so cool," Dean pleaded. He knew that if they didn't all go together he wouldn't be able to go in by himself.

"But I'm scared," Leah admitted.

"What are you scared of?" dad asked kneeling down to her level.

"What if something comes out and grabs me?" she asked warily.

"Do you think I would ever let something happen to you or your brothers?" dad questioned.

"No I guess not," Leah sighed.

"Thank God," Dean exclaimed as he ran for the entrance of the fun house.

"Wait for me!" Sam yelled after him.

"But I'm still scared," Leah said softly.

"Come here," dad said picking her up and carrying her into the fun house.

"Boo!" Sam yelled jumping out from behind the door.

"Ahhh!" Leah screamed and clung tightly to her dad.

"Samuel!" dad growled.

"Dean told me to do it!" Sam exclaimed.

"I did not!" Dean yelled.

"I want to go back out, I don't like this," Leah cried into her dad's shoulder.

"Now listen here little girl, you are a Winchester and nothing should scare you," dad stated, "We are going to go through together ok?"

"Yes sir," Leah nodded as she was set back on her feet.

She marched her way in front of Dean and right through the fun house. When she got to the exit she stood there with a huge smile on her face.

"I did it daddy!" Leah smiled.

"Yes you did, little girl, yes you did."

SUPERNATURAL

I stood at the exit of the fun house stuck in my memory when my phone started to ring.

I hurt myself today to see if I still feel. I focus on the pain the only thing that's real. The needle tears a hole the old familiar sting, try to kill it all away but I remember everything.

"Yeah," I answered.

"You find anything?" Dean asked.

"Nope."

"Where abouts are you?"

"Behind the fun house."

"Ok stay there Sam and I will come to you," he said before hanging up.

I couldn't help myself; I walked around the front of the fun house and went in. It felt a lot scarier knowing my dad wasn't right behind me.

Come on Winchester's aren't scared of anything, I thought and forced myself to walk all the way through. I was just to the end when a skeleton fell from the ceiling right in front of me and I screamed before realizing it was just a prop.

"Leah?" I heard Dean call out.

"Yeah," I answered walking out of the fun house.

"I thought I told you to stay put," Dean stated.

"Wait, were you in the fun house?" Sam questioned.

"Yeah," I shrugged.

"I knew you remembered," Sam smiled.

"Mommy look at the clown!" a little girl exclaimed and we all looked over to where she was standing.

"What clown?" the mom asked.

We all looked around but saw nothing.

SUPERNATURAL

We followed the family home to stakeout their house for the night but not before Dean bet that he could out eat me in corn dogs.

"Dean, I can not believe you told him about the homicidal phantom clown," Sam said.

"I told him an urban legend about a homicidal phantom clown, I never said it was real," Dean corrected him, "Oh and get this, I mentioned the Bunker Brothers Circus in '81 and their evil clown apocalypse…guess what?"

"What?" I groaned from the backseat as I held my stomach.

"Before Mr. Cooper owned Cooper Carnival, he worked for Bunker Brothers, he was their lot manager," Dean answered.

"So you think whatever the spirit's attached to, Cooper just brought it with him?" Sam asked.

"Something like that," Dean sighed, "I can't believe we keep talking about clowns."

"I can't believe your little sister out ate you," Sam smirked.

"I think I'm going to be sick," I grimaced curling myself into a ball in the backseat.

I must have fallen asleep in the backseat because the next thing I knew I heard gunshots coming from the house and I was the only one in the van. I went to get out when I saw Sam and Dean running from the house.

"Drive! Put the van in drive!" Dean yelled.

I hopped in the front seat after opening the backdoor so they could jump in and flew down the road. I parked the van in some brush along side the road and Sam started pulling our stuff out of the van while Dean removed the plates.

"You really think they saw our plates?" I asked.

"I don't want to take the chance besides I hate this friggin' thing anyway," Dean answered stuffing the plates into our weapons bag.

"Just what I wanted to do today, go for a walk," I muttered.

"Well one thing's for sure," Dean stated as we started walking down the road.

"What's that?" Sam asked.

"We're not dealing with a spirit, I mean that rock salt hit something solid," Dean replied.

"So what a person…or maybe a creature that can make itself invisible?" I asked.

"Yeah and dressed up as a clown for kicks," Dean laughed.

"Anything in dad's journal?" Sam asked.

"No," I shook my head and Sam pulled out his cell phone.

"Who are you calling?" Dean asked.

"Maybe Ellen or that guy Ash will know something," he answered, "Hey, you think, uh, you think dad and Ellen ever had a thing?"

"No way in hell," I answered.

"Then why didn't he tell us about her?" Sam questioned.

"I don't know," I shrugged.

"Maybe they had a falling out," Dean suggested.

"He did have a falling out with just about everyone," Sam laughed but Dean and I stayed silent, "Well don't get all maudlin on me."

"What do you mean?" Dean asked.

"I mean this 'strong silent' thing of yours, it's crap," Sam stated.

"Oh God," Dean protested.

"I'm over it, with both of you, this isn't just anyone we're talking about, this is dad. I know how you feel about the man," Sam exclaimed.

"You know what, back off," Dean stated, "Just because I'm not caring and sharing like you want me to."

"No, no, no that's not what this is about," Sam continued, "I don't care how you deal with this but you have to deal with it. Listen, I'm your brother I just want to make sure you're ok."

"Dude, I'm ok," Dean yelled, "I swear the next person who asks me if I'm ok I'm going to start throwing punches."

"Hey de…are you ok?" I smirked.

"Don't think I forgot about you," Sam said looking at me.

"Sam these are your issues stop dumping them on us," I said.

"What are you talking about?" Sam questioned as he stopped walking.

"I just think it's really interesting, this sudden obedience you have to dad. It's like, 'oh, what would dad want me to do?' Sam, you spent your entire life slugging it out with that man, I mean hell you picked a fight with him the last time you ever saw him! And now that he is dead, now you want to make it right? Well I'm sorry but you can't, it's too little too late," I replied.

"Why are you saying this to me?" Sam asked brokenly.

"Because I want you to be honest with yourself about this, I'm dealing with dad's death! Are you?" I shouted at him.

"I'm going to call Ellen," Sam stated before walking away from Dean and I.

"So…" Dean started once it was just him and I.

"So…" I questioned.

"Once this is over, I could really use your help with the car," Dean said, "I mean unless you want to go back to hibernation."

"I wasn't hibernating," I rolled my eyes, "I just needed time…I still do."

"Rakshasa," Sam said joining us again.

"Bless you," Dean said.

"It's Ellen best guess," Sam said.

"Isn't a Rakshasa a race of ancient Hindu creatures?" I asked, "They appear in human form, they feed on human flesh, they can make themselves invisible and they can not enter a home without first being invited."

"That's what Ellen said," Sam confirmed.

"So they dress up like clowns and the children invite them in," Dean concluded.

"Yeah," Sam nodded.

"Why don't they just munch on the kids?" Dean questioned.

"No idea, not enough meat on the bones maybe," Sam replied.

"That's gross," I said scrunching up my nose.

"So what else about these things do you have stored up here?" Dean asked tousling my hair.

"They are known to sleep on a bed of dead insects and they only have to feed a few times every twenty or thirty years, slow metabolism I guess."

"Well that makes sense I mean the carnival today…the Bunker Brothers in '81," Sam reasoned.

"Hey Sam, who do we know who worked both shows?" I asked.

"Cooper?" he questioned.

"You said it yourself that picture of his father looked just like him," I answered.

"So if it is him, how do we kill a radish?" Dean questioned.

"Rakshasa," I laughed, "And with a dagger made of pure brass."

"I think I know where to get one of those," Dean stated.

"Well before we go stabbing things into Cooper we're going to want to make damn sure it's him," Sam said.

"Oh you're such a stickler for details, Sammy," I teased.

"Alright, Le and I will go round up the blade and you go check if Cooper's got bedbugs."

SUPERNATURAL

"Well I've got all kinds of knives but I don't know if I've got a brass one," the blind man said as he led Dean and me into his room.

"It would be great if you did," I smiled praying he had one.

"Check the trunk," he said tapping it with his walking stick.

I started digging through the trunk when I noticed a ratty clown costume with a wig.

"Dean," I whispered backing away from the trunk.

"What's wrong?" he asked confused.

"You," I said turning to look at the blind man.

"Me," he smiled before disappearing before our eyes.

Knives started flying at the door before we had the chance to get out of the room.

"Alright!" I yelled in frustration.

"Come on," Dean instructed as we ran from the tent.

"Hey!" Sam called out from behind us as we ran through the carnival making me jump, "So, Cooper thinks I'm a peeping Tom but it's not him."

"It's the blind guy," I stated as I looked around, "He's here somewhere."

"Well did you get the…" Sam started.

"The brass blades?" Dean finished, "No, it's been one of those days."

"Come on I have an idea," I said as I started jogging towards the fun house.

I ran inside with both brothers right behind me until a door unexpectedly closed in their faces.

"Leah!" they both yelled.

"I'm ok, find the maze!" I yelled back.

I found the pipe organ that I had seen earlier that day and started kicking it to dislodge one of the pipes.

"Hey," Dean said coming around the corner.

"Hey, where is it?" I asked.

"I don't know, I mean shouldn't we see its clothes walking around?" Dean questioned as a knife came flying through the air pinning his sleeve to the wall.

"Dean!" I screamed.

"I'm alright…just stuck," he grunted as he tried to pull the knife out of the wall.

"I've got an idea," Sam stated as he pulled on a lever to release more steam from the organ.

"Leah behind you!" Dean yelled as he unpinned himself from the wall.

I turned and plunged the pipe into the clown's chest causing blood to pour from the wound. I pulled the pipe out and stabbed the creature again and again letting out all my anger until it disappeared leaving the bloody clothes behind.

"I think it's dead Le," Dean joked but I couldn't help the tears from streaming out of my eyes.

"Hey, hey, hey it's ok," Sam said kneeling down beside me and pulling me into a hug.

SUPERNATURAL

"Where have you guys been? Been waitin' for ya," Ash said coming out from the back room, "Especially you hot stuff."

"We were working a job Ash…clowns," Sam answered.

"Clowns? What the fuck?" Ash asked confused.

"Did you find the demon?" I asked.

"It's nowhere around. At least, nowhere I can find but if this fugly bastard raises his head, I'll know. I mean I'm on it like divine on dog dookie."

"What do you mean?" Dean asked.

"I mean any of those signs or omens appear, anywhere in the world my rig will go like a fire alarm."

"And you will give us a call as soon as you know something?" Dean questioned.

"Si, si compadre," Ash nodded before turning to me, "Don't I get a reward or something?"

"If that thing actually works," I smiled and Ash nearly fell off his bar stool.

"Hey if you three need a place to stay, I've got a couple of beds out back," Ellen offered.

"Thanks but no, there's something we need to finish," Dean answered looking over to me.

SUPERNATURAL

"You were right," Sam stated as Dean and I worked on the Impala.

"About what?" I questioned brushing some sweat away from my face.

"About me and dad. I'm sorry that the last time I was with him I tried to pick a fight. I'm sorry that I spent most of my life angry at him. I mean, for all I know he died thinking I hate him. So you're right, what I'm doing right now is too little too late."

I didn't know what to say so I just leaned against the car and let him continue.

"I miss him, freckles and I feel guilty as hell. I'm not alright, not at all but neither are you, that much I know," he said before walking away.

"I'll be right back," I said softly as I ran past Sam into the house and up to my room.

I rolled up my long sleeved shirt and made another cut into my arm when I heard a loud crashing noise. I looked out my window to see Dean taking a crowbar to the trunk of the car several times.

"We need you daddy," I whispered.