He drove aimlessly, really just waiting for the sun to come up. He couldn't do anything until morning, not until Hugh got in, and not until he could talk to Bo about Lenny. He couldn't stare at the walls any more, couldn't do anything without seeing Natalie's eyes begging for help in that photo. Not that it mattered, he could see it whenever he closed his eyes, even just to blink. He found himself parked at the Hotel, just staring at the building. Going in meant potentially running into Roxy. He hadn't talked to her since all this happened, and he didn't know that he could face telling her he still had no leads.

He put the car in park and sat back, exhaling.

"What are we waiting for?"

"Hmm?" John asked, looking over at her.

"You don't normally sit in the car when you stop it"

"I don't really want to see Roxy right now"

"Why's that?"

"Day's been long enough as it is" he said, "besides, she always want to talk and I don't-"

"You? Talk?" she teased.

"I like talking to you"

"Barely" she said, looking down.

"Huh?"

"Never mind" she said, "we can stay as long as you want"

"Natalie" he started, but thought he couldn't figure out how to answer.

"It's okay" she said, "we've grown a lot since last time, and I shouldn't undermine that. Guess I just want –" she trailed off.

"More" he said, simply.

"I'm asking for too much" she said, looking down.

"Don't make excuses for me" he said, "you know, just cuz I don't like to talk, doesn't mean I don't think about it"

"It?"

"Us. You" he said, "I'm getting used to you being around"

"Really?"

"Really" he said.

The way she smiled, you would have thought he'd told her something much more important. He hesitated to tell her more, to tell her he wanted more, too, that he wanted to say the things she wanted him to say. He knew he'd mess it up, and he didn't want to be the reason her smile went away again.

"Alright, want a fool proof way to shut Roxy up?"

"There's got to be a catch"

"When she's talking and babbling" she paused, "grab me and kiss me"

"No way"

"I didn't say you were going to like it"

"It won't work"

"Sure it will" she said, "She'll whistle or say something crude, but then it'll be done"

He sat for a second, then grabbed her neck and kissed her deep. She kissed him back, and he grabbed her with his other arm, bringing her as close as he could in the two different seats of his car.

"Like that?" he asked when they finally came up for air.

She took a beat to remember what he was saying. "Yeah, like that" she said, then leaned back into his lips.

Kissing her was one of his favorite things to do. He couldn't bring himself to stop, couldn't bring himself to even want to breathe when she was kissing him. It was like- there was nothing like it. If it wasn't for the console between them, he would have already pulled her onto his lap. He would have already moved his hands all over her curves.

He had to take a breath if he was going to keep doing this.

"Natalie" he breathed.

"We should head upstairs"

That look in her eyes made his pulse jump.

He finally got out of the car, the memories too much for him. It was the middle of the night, he figured, no way she'd be at the desk anyway. He could run in, change his clothes, and get out before the sun was even up, and she'd be none the wiser.

"John" he heard her distinctive voice the second he stepped foot in the lobby, "tell me you got some good news"

He looked at her carefully. She was tired, he could tell, the bags under eyes and the mascara stains obvious.

"Sorry, Rox" he said, "I haven't found her yet"

"The news said you got notes"

"Yeah, but, nothing that helps locate her"

"Nothing?"

"Roxy, I wish-" he stopped, not sure he had anything he could say to help the small woman in front of him.

"I know, Johnny" she said, and he saw a tear run down her face, "You want her found more than anyone, probably. I just, I don't want her gone already, you know. I got so much to make up for-"

John nodded. He didn't know what else to do.

"I'll stop bothering you, now. You probably have lots to do"

John headed towards the stairs, but he stopped a few steps past her.

"Roxy, I'm going to find her" he promised before he went up the stairs.