Chapter 22

By the time we get home I'm exhausted from everything that's happened; I kept my promise to myself to crawl into bed as soon as we get here. I don't know when I fell asleep but its dark by the time I wake up. I tense up immediately, startled by the figure lying next to me and rubbing my back. I feel too raw to just trust that it's Gaara. I don't relax until I hear his voice, "Did you sleep well?" I unbury my head to look at Gaara then nod. He has an exhausted look on his own face. I hate that the covers are blocking our contact, I want to be completely connected to him.

"Could you come under the covers? I want you to hold me." He sighs and presses his forehead to mine, "I told you, it may be winter but it's hot in Suna." He pulls me closer to him, "I don't understand how you could sleep while you were under there." Hmm, it may be hot but it's comforting under the covers. I press myself closer to him, "I like being under the covers. Why did you even get them if you weren't going to use them? For decoration?" He gives a soft laugh, "For decoration."

Gaara kisses my forehead, "Its late, did you eat at all when we came home?" I shake my head no, I just wanted to hide, didn't have much of an appetite. He kisses my forehead again, "Stay here, I'll bring you something to eat." Stay here? I don't think I can do that. I'm not ready to be separated from Gaara yet, not after everything that happened. When he gets up, I get up with him. He looks at me for a second but doesn't say anything when I follow him to the kitchen.

It doesn't take long to get something small for me to eat. I probably shouldn't just be having snacks for dinner, but I doubt either of us have the energy to cook something. I eat quickly and soon we're back in bed, sitting up this time though I did crawl back under the covers. Gaara gives a small chuckle when I do. "It really is hot. You haven't even changed your clothes." That's true, I was too exhausted to change before. I should probably do that now; my plan is to go to sleep. I get out of bed and walk to the dresser.

Since I first started sleeping with Gaara I've tried to look attractive for him at the same time, but I don't feel like getting anything fancy for sleep right now. Right now, I just want to sleep the day away. I just grab some cotton shorts in a random color and a short-sleeved shirt in another. I'm about to pull my shirt over my head when I pause. Gaara's in the room. I've never actually changed in front of him before, I've only ever changed in the bathroom. I don't want to be away from him though, not if it's not necessary and just going to change doesn't seem necessary. Besides after the hot spring the other day, I really don't have an excuse be so shy around him.

I calm my nerves and begin to undress. I could feel his eyes following my every movement. My cheeks heat up from it. "Embarrassed?" Ugh, he's teasing me again. Why else would he ask? He knows what I'm feeling. I ignore the question and start to change my pants. He gets up before I put the pajama shorts on and wraps his arm around my stomach. Leaning down, he whispers in my ear, "If we're both in our underwear then it'll be more bearable to be under the covers." My entire face heats up now.

I lean into his chest; I can't say I don't like the idea; I want to be really close to him, some skin-to-skin contact would be great. I drop the shorts on the ground and place my hands on top of his, "Um, ok. We can do that." He kisses my neck then whispered in my ear again, "Go to bed, I'll be right there." My throat was too dry to talk; all I could do was nod my head. In bed, I watch him in the corner of my eye. My face heats up again; he really is attractive.

I avert my eyes when he looks up but I'm sure he saw me anyway. I only look at him again when I feel his weight sink into the bed. He pulls me out from under the covers and into his lap, and I lay my head on his chest; the contact feels heavenly. His arms are wrapped around my side, one hand slipping under my shirt to stroke my skin. "Can I touch your thigh?" He's asking to touch me again; I wonder why he keeps asking though. He's fine touching me anywhere else so why ask now?

"You don't have to keep asking to touch me; you can just do it." His other hand's fingers slip under my underwear and starts stroking my hips. I bury my face in his chest as soon as it starts happening, the skin he's touching begins to burn. He chuckles, "You're very shy, I don't want to push you past you limits." I can only nod; my throat to dry to speak again. Maybe I am shy, and its sweet he's thinking of my comfort, but that doesn't mean he has to ask to touch me every time.

"You don't have to ask each time…. I like when you touch me." I'm speaking into his chest. I'm surprised he can even understand me; I feel like I'm mumbling. He takes his hand out of my underwear and starts stroking up and down my thigh, "Very Shy.". I can feel him getting aroused and I'm sure he feels the same off me. I gain some courage and look into his eyes, just touching isn't enough for me, "Kiss me." My voice is low and soft, embarrassed by what I just said; I sound so needy.

He immediately obliges, licking and sucking on my lips, begging for entrance. I open my mouth and he began to explore every nook and cranny, coxing my tongue to do the same. I place my hands on his chest and melt into him. Gaara moves from my lips to kiss up and down my neck, so I turn my head to give him better access. His other hand on my side slides up my back and unclips my bra. I shudder when he whispers in my ear, "Take this off." and I found myself immediately following his command.

I had to take my shirt off to accomplish the task so now I'm just sitting on his lap only in my panties. I can feel him getting hard under me but it's still not enough contact. I get up so I can straddle him, quivering from the new contact. He shudders too and his hands grab my hips. Better but still not enough contact; I need more. I move one of his hands to my breast and Gaara responds immediately, pinching and pulling on my nipple.

I moan softly then start grinding against him, then Gaara sighs and moves his hips with mine. Still not enough. "Gaara," I try to swallow my embarrassment about what I'm about to tell him, "I want to have sex." Immediately he grabs my hips with both of hands and stops me from moving. He looks deep in my eyes, searching for something. Its unnerving. After a long pause he finally says something, "Are you sure?" One of his hands moves to my cheek, concern written all over his face, "Is this because of what happened today?"

Maybe. Maybe a little bit, maybe a lot. I mean it's a catalyst, but it's not the main factor. I just want to be close to him, but if I tell him that he'll think I'm not really ready when I am. I said I was close, I just didn't know how close. I shake my head and start grinding against him again, giggling from the reaction I get out of him. He closes his eyes and gives a labored sigh, like he's trying to control himself, "Aiko, please…. I need you to be sure" He's close to breaking; I can tell. His arousal is sky high, radiating off him like a furnace. Before he has a chance to stop my hips again, I start to kiss and suck on his neck before whispering in his ear, "I want you Gaara."

It doesn't take long for him to react to that. In a second, I'm flipped over onto my back and my lips are being attacked by Gaara's. My breath catches when he grinds against me. He moves fast, I guess no longer caring about my shyness, and slides his hand down my stomach and settles under my panties, between my legs. He starts stroking me, rubbing against my nub slowly, torturously. When I moan his tongue slips into my mouth, coxing mine again. The pit of my stomach begins to heat up as I writhe under him.

He's still stroking me too slowly, "Gaara please" I'm whining; it's embarrassing how easy it was for him to get a reaction out of me. He gives a low chuckle then slips a finger inside, moving it in and out deliberately slowly. I keep writhing under him. I try to will him to go faster, harder, but he stays at his slow pace. A second finger slips inside and start pumping at the same slow rate. While he's pumping, he begins to curl his fingers, hitting a bundle of nerves that sends electricity throughout my entire body. I cry out from it.

He continues to pump in and out and stroke me, increasing his speed as he goes along. With each pump I feel an elastic band pulling and stretching within me. My body tingles and my nerves feel on fire. With one last pump the elastic band breaks, sending a large jolt of electricity throughout my entire body. My body tightens and I cry out again, "Gaara!" My eyes closed while I rode the high of my orgasm, I was completely dazed and could have sworn I saw stars. While I'm coming down from space, he pumps a few more times before pulling his hand out and bringing his fingers to my mouth, slipping them inside. I suck on them eagerly, tasting myself on them.

Next, he slips off his and my underwear. When I was finally completely uncovered, he looked up and down my body before looking into my eyes, "Beautiful." My face heats up and my heart melts at his words. He lays on top of me and starts grinding against me; it feels a thousand times more intense when we're completely exposed to each other. He groans into my ear and increases his speed little by little. It feels so amazing, but I want more; I want him completely. "Gaara," I pause, unsure of what to say, "I want…please…. I want you inside me."

He looks at me with half-lidded eyes that were brimming with lust. "Are you sure?" After I nod my head, he positions himself at my hole. I shudder at the contact. He looks at me one more time, assessing my emotions, "This will hurt at first; tell me when to move." I nod my head again, ready to begin. I squeeze his chest, bracing myself when he enters. He enters me slowly, inch by inch, until he's completely inside. It doesn't hurt per say but it is an uncomfortable and new experience.

Gaara sighs into my neck after he's completely inside me, then he starts kissing and sucking on it. The pleasure from that is distracting from the uncomfortableness of this new foreign object inside me. It's so thick and long, I fill so full. It takes a while to get used to him, but once I do I give Gaara the signal to move. It's still a bit uncomfortable at first, but soon that uncomfortable feeling gave way to pleasure and I found myself moaning in time with his thrusts.

The most intense thing of it all was the emotions we felt from each other. The more aroused he got, the more aroused I got. The more aroused I got, the more aroused he got. We became an Eco chamber of each other's emotions until we were both drowning in them. It makes it hard to focus on anything else. My brain becomes completely flooded with arousal; my head feels clouded. Every kiss feels like lightening, every thrust like an explosion.

Gaara picks up his speed until he's slamming into me, I revel at the contact. "Oh god Gaara!" My entire body feels like it's on fire, like someone was pouring hot lava on me. More electricity comes as Gaara goes back to sucking and biting my neck. I can only moan at the new contact. I arch my back when he hits a sweet spot at the back of my canal, "Gaara…..." I moan breathlessly. I grip his back so tightly that I just know I'm leaving marks; he's holding my hips with the same amount of passion.

Again, heat pools to the pit of my stomach. Again, that rubber band stretches in my stomach. The anticipation of my oncoming orgasm drives me mad. All though and reason left my brain and I could no longer call Gaara's name, the only sounds coming out are breathless moans and mews. I'd be writhing under him if it weren't for the iron grip he had on my hips.

Gaara moves from my neck to back to kissing my lips, silencing me. I kiss him back eagerly. Close, I'm so close. Gaara picks up to a speed I didn't know was possible, slamming into me with the most delicious force. The rubber band stretches, stretches, stretches until finally it snapped. I cry out as my orgasm overtakes my entire body. Gaara freezes and shudders as I tighten around him, moving again after a moment while picking up speed. Suddenly he pulls out of me, and I'm covered in his seed; he lets out a low groan once he releases.

His head rests on the bed next to mine while the rest of his body hovers over mine, resting on his arms. I listened to his heavy breathing for a minute before he sits up, grabbing my hand to pull us both off the bed and takes us both into the bathroom. Once we're inside he picks me up and sets me down on the counter, getting to work at cleaning us both up. After he was done, he picked me back up and carried me back to bed. And just as he promised, he settled us under the covers.

"You came on me." Gaara pulls me close into his arms and kisses my forehead, "I'm not ready to be a father yet and we weren't using condoms." Oh, I hadn't thought about that. I hadn't thought about kids at all. I probably should have, its probably expected that we have kids one day. "How many kids do you want to have?" He kisses my forehead again then softly on my lips before answering, "We need to have at least one to keep the Kazekage line in Suna, the council members have been very clear about that." Hm, at least one. How many do I want to have? I should probably figure that out.

"It's why they were so pleased at the announcement of our engagement when we got back and why they rushed the wedding. They were worried it would fall through somehow." They were? Why would it fall through? I mean it's a treaty engagement, backing out on either side would lead to a war. "Why would it fall through?" Gaara kisses me with his eyes closed; he looks like he's about to fall asleep but I know better now, he rarely sleeps. "Because I've had two other engagements fall through before."

I sit up immediately. "You what?!" How could he say that so nonchalantly? I had assumed, like me, he had never been engaged before. I mean he's only nineteen, would his position as a kage really speed up his life like that? That answer seems obvious though, I mean I got married at seventeen because of duty. His eyes open to look at me but he doesn't sit up; instead, he wraps his arms around my waist and pulls me back into him.

"I've had two engagements fall through before. The heir to the Hoki family; she eloped with another man." That's….kind of sad. "The other was the heir to the Suzuki family; I had called off the wedding." He called off the wedding? If the council was as pushy as he's been saying, why would he call off the wedding? "Why would you do that? Wouldn't the council be upset at you?" He answered with a short hum, "I couldn't see myself married to her and they were upset."

He's talking about it like you would talk about the weather. I can't believe how calm he is about it. He called off his wedding, and sure I probably don't need to know everything, but shouldn't he say more? I mean wouldn't he want to know more if he was in my position? And the council members sped up our engagement because of it, does that mean he would have called off our wedding if he had the chance to?

"Aiko," He sits up and I follow his lead, "what's wrong?" What is wrong? What am I most bothered about in all of this? "If our engagement was longer, would you have called off our wedding too?...I mean we were getting married out of duty too." This feels like a stupid insecurity once I say it out loud. I mean I can feel Gaara's love for me, the answer is most likely no, but I still want him to say so. He lifts my chin so I'm looking at him instead of his chest like I was before, "I've been interested in you since I first saw you. I would not have cancelled our engagement, duty or no duty."

I lay my head on his chest; this is more relieving than it should have been. I shouldn't be so insecure about our relationship. Really, I can feel his emotions, I can feel his love for me. I would be the first to know if he didn't care for me. I nuzzle my head into his neck, giving it a peck every so often. I could feel it again, his love, and I'm comforted even more. Gaara pulls me closer to him, "I'm glad you're feeling better. I never meant to upset you."

My head shoots up, "You didn't upset me!" Gaara gives me an incredulous look. "I mean it upset me, but it wasn't your fault. You didn't do anything wrong." He smiles and rests his forehead on mine, "I probably should have told you this sooner." I shake my head; I probably would have been more insecure about it if he said it sooner. Gaara starts stroking my cheek and laid his head back on mine, "Aiko I love you, you don't have to worry about how I feel about our marriage. I feel incredibly privileged to be married to you." I can't help the smile that forms on my face and the bashfulness I feel, "I love you too."