Author's note: I do not own anything having to do with Supernatural, only Leah belongs to me. Just a reminder SUPERNATURAL signifies a break in time. As always please remember to ~Read and Review~

Again I mention a few people you may or may not recognize (Kate, Sadie, and Becca) they are other Winchester sisters that I borrow from their creators (Jenmm31, SPNxBookworm, and ispiltthemilk) for the story 'Sisterhood of the Traveling Hunters.' They'll probably pop up from time to time as my way of thanking them for their constant support. Please head on over to their pages and check out their stories you won't be disappointed. If you don't recognize them, you should, go check them out.

Thanks to SPNxBookworm for being my amazing beta :)

Trigger warnings throughout the chapter but nothing worse than previous chapters I don't think.

Also, I promise that the next chapter will tie up some loose ends and maybe open ended questions. Leah is hearing her dad's voice but to clear up some confusion it's not really her dad it's more her subconscious. Again, the next chapter will tie that up with a nice little bow for you.

Thank you for all the favorites/follows/reviews I received after my last chapter! Means the world to me and though it takes me forever and a day to update I promise I am not giving up on this story!

Chapter 51- Tied Together with a Smile

Of all the places I have ever been arrested and locked up, New Orleans might have been the worst. It wasn't like I got picked up for murdering someone in cold blood; I was just attempting to buy some marijuana. Like really? It wasn't even anything exciting like heroin or meth but here I sat handcuffed to a damn table. Did I have even one single stupid bobby pin on me? Nope. Was there a paper clip in reach? Of course not.

You should know how to get out of this, my father's voice was so clear in my head he could have been in the room with me. A Winchester is always prepared for anything.

The more I sat there the angrier I became because this looked exactly like the type of room they should be locking me up in. I was nine shades of crazy with a speck of suicidal tendency on top. There had been the occasional hunter throughout the years that would eventually crack and lose their marbles I just never thought I'd be one of them. This wasn't something I could make go away though right about now I'd give almost anything; in all honesty I didn't know how to make it go away. My dad had died, gone to hell, crawled his way out, and vanished into thin air right before our eyes. I did everything I could to try to contact him, see if he was still around, but there was nothing. My best guess was that he was finally in heaven with mom sitting in a rocking chair on the front porch of a rustic cabin. At least I hoped they were together somewhere because it made the rainy days a little less dreary.

"You ready to give us your name yet?" A plump cop came in with a manila folder and a pen at the ready.

The words rolled off my tongue without thinking, "Did you save any donuts for the rest of them or are you going for the Stay-Puff Marshmallow man look?"

"Excuse me?" his voice suddenly had an edge to it and his overgrown mustache twitched with agitation.

I leaned back in my seat as far as I could with my hands stretched out in front of me where they were secured to the table. "Nothing, tubby." His face turned red, making him look like an overripe tomato, and I had to bite the side of my cheek to keep my laughter in. "I do get my one phone call though, don't I?"

"Phone call for a name," he bargained with a smug smile like he had somehow figured out a way to break me.

Sorry, flabby, I was a Winchester and didn't break that easily. "Carrie Harrington. Now, that phone call would be super."

He scribbled the name down on the paper and begrudgingly released me from the table. I followed him down the hall to where he motioned to the phone on the counter with a grunt. I placed my hand on the phone and froze for moment. Who was I going to call? Having to explain to my brothers that I got arrested for trying to buy drugs was a surefire way to get a one-way ticket to Bobby's. I had already said my goodbyes to Dylan so I called the only other person I could think of that I knew would come bail me out without a doubt.

The phone rang once, twice, three times before she answered with a very harsh and almost deafening, "What?!"

"Becca?" I questioned, thinking for a minute maybe I had dialed the wrong number. She was muttering something and I couldn't tell if she was talking to herself or someone else. "Bec…Becca…Rebecca!" I snapped, hoping to grab her attention because she hated when anyone used her full name.

"The alarm won't stop going off. Doesn't matter what button I push and I know that overgrown ape had something to do with it," she kept rambling on the other line. "I'm going bat-shit crazy over here!"

"Bec, I got busted I need you to come get me," I almost whined into the phone. This girl was one of my best friends but now was not the time to hear about whatever she had gotten herself into this time. "I don't think I can get out of this one without some help."

There was some rustling on the other line followed by a loud crash and more than a few very colorful words. "Sorry, sugar tits. I can't even find my shoes and if I lose one more pair of pants I'm going to become a nudist."

I went to plead with her that I would buy her new shoes and seven pairs of pants if she came to get me but before I could, I heard the all too familiar click of being disconnected. Seriously? This bitch was going to get me stuck in this awful place and if that cop didn't stop looking at me like I was a slice of bacon I was going to fucking go all spider monkey with rabies on him. I slammed the receiver down earning me a glare from our very own flabby officer. Glare at me again two tons of lard, I dare you. I'll show you a bacon burn right in the baby maker.

"Uh," I cleared my throat. "That was her voicemail telling me to call a different number."

He shook his head and puffed his chest out, "You get one call, Ms. Harrington." His pudgy fingers wrapped around my arm and started guiding me back toward the holding room.

"Wait," I stopped and pried my arm away from his powdered donut grasp. "I have the right to an attorney."

He huffed making him look like a rooster that had its feathers roughed, "I see someone watches too much daytime television." He led me back to the phone, "Go ahead and call your lawyer, sweetheart, but just remember this isn't Law and Order."

You are right about that roly-poly because I wouldn't be trying to leave if it was. Well, if it was Law and Order: SVU because I'd spend a good hour, maybe two, with a certain Detective Stabler and his handcuffs.

Great, I bought myself one more call but now who? It wasn't like I had a plethora of friends, in fact I could count them on one hand, and that's without using my thumb. Becca was my best bet but she wasn't the least bit helpful, Sadie would kick my ass six ways from Sunday so I'm going to have to pass on that one for now, which left Miss Kate.

I was nervous as the phone rang several times and just as I was about to swallow my pride to call Sadie, Kate answered the phone, "Hello?"

"Oh, thank God," I let out a sigh of relief because the last thing I wanted right now was a lecture. Believe me I've gotten it before.

"Le?" Kate questioned.

I let out am innocent chuckle, "How much do you love me?"

We talked for a few more seconds just so I could tell her exactly where I was and she had agreed to come bail me out with the promise that I'd owe her one. That was fine with me as long as it was within the next few months. Luckily, she was only one state over and it wasn't long until I could hear her talking to a few of the officers from the room I was being held in before Sir Eats-a-lot opened the door.

"Harrington, your lawyer is here," he grunted as he bent over slightly to unhook my hands from the table and then released my wrists from the cuffs.

Another, much skinner and almost attractive, cop stood in the doorway with Kate, "Lawyer?" He looked between us and then back to Kate, "You said she was your sister."

"She can't be both?" I questioned, rubbing my wrists from where the cuffs had been. I swear if you put these two cops side by side they'd make the number ten. Chunky needs to share his donuts.

Skinny stared me down for a second but growing up with all men that had stopped working on me ages ago. He finally sighed and placed a small plastic cup on the table, "If you pass the drug test the judge has agreed to let you out on bail."

Do you know how hard it is to pee in a cup with some chick watching you like a hawk? Because let me tell you I could have had the world's fullest bladder and still nothing would have come out. Problem was I didn't have the world's fullest bladder because I have been doing nothing but sitting on my ass for the last six hours. She finally let me run the faucet so it wasn't so quiet you could hear a pin drop and I was able to go. The beast of a woman dipped some strips into the cup and then laid them on a piece of paper towel. She seemed genuinely surprised when they came up negative for everything. I think I even saw her slip the secretary a ten dollar bill like she had lost a bet. What, did I look like a druggie or something? We were going to have to work on that if that was the vibe I was giving off.

Kate forged some signatures and I signed as Carrie Harrington on the line. We walked out of police station and with a smile plastered on my face. "Free at last, free at last; thank God almighty I am free at last." I looked over to Kate who was shaking her head at me. "Alright, let me have it. What do I owe you for getting me out? Money? Car? Stripper?"

Her mouth hung open like a fish, "Stripper?! I have standards you know! Where would…why would…what?"

"They're really not that hard to find," I rolled my eyes and let down my hair in hopes of relieving my headache, "This one time, Becca and I-"

Kate waved her hand in front of my face to get me to stop. "Drugs, Le?"

"You want me to get you drugs?!" I asked incredulously in a harsh whisper. "I mean if you really want me to I'm sure I could find some, somewhere, but you do realize that's the reason I just got arrested, right? I mean I guess I could have been a little more careful and I should have…" I trailed off as I saw her staring at me with her hands shoved into the front pockets of her jeans. Well fuck, if I wanted that look I would have called Sadie. "C'mon," I linked arms with her and pulled her down the sidewalk, "We'll get ice cream. You like ice cream, I like ice cream. It's really a win-win situation."

"You better be paying," Kate mumbled. "And there better be sprinkles."

"So many sprinkles," I nodded.

We got our ice cream and found a bench down a little ways away. I was content in sitting there licking all the chocolate sprinkles from my cone but with every spoonful Kate took she'd glance over to me. It was like she wanted to say something, probably scold me, yet she was holding back and it was driving me insane.

"What?!" I finally snapped, sounding incredibly similar to Becca earlier.

"Drugs?" she repeated and shook her head again in disbelief, "You know what I want Leah?"

I bit into my waffle cone and licked the chocolate from my lips, "More ice cream?"

With a slight roll of her eyes she handed me a napkin, "I want you to pull your head out of your ass and get your shit together." I coughed trying to dislodge the piece of cone stuck in my throat and looked over to Kate, surprised she was being so blunt. "You should be spending the time you have left with your brothers, making memories and laughing, not sneaking around like we did in high school. You are twenty three years old, start acting like it. This has to do with your deal, doesn't it? Is that why you went for the drugs?"

"No," I answered softly, suddenly very interested in the cobblestone sidewalk at our feet.

Winchesters know how to lie. If you didn't want her to think something was going on with you, you should have kept eye contact. You know this.

I felt her shift next to me and looked up to see worry lines above her brow, "No? There's something else going on?"

Yeah, actually now that you ask I'm hearing my father's voice in my head like some stark raving lunatic. Well, that's what I wanted to say at least. "Just the job. I brought it home with me is all. Nothing I can't handle."

You know better than to bring the job home with you. It could get you killed. Worse yet, it could get your brothers killed. Then how would you feel? But you keep lying to her. It's what you do best; lie to the ones you care about.

"You sure?" she questioned, tossing her empty plastic container in a nearby trash can.

I thought about it for a second wondering if I should just tell her the truth or not when the roar of an unmistakable engine made its presence known. The Impala pulled over to the side of the road and parked in front of us with a very angry older brother behind the wheel. The glare he was giving me was fiery enough to melt my sneakers to the sidewalk.

"So, uh," I glanced over to Dean who looked like he was going to have steam pouring out his ears at any second from how angry he was. "Looks like my ride is here."

Kate waved to Dean who only squinted his eyes even further. She gave me a quick hug and whispered in my ear, "Remember, make your time count."

"Thanks again, for everything."

I slipped into the car and barely had the passenger door closed before he was already driving down the street with a grip so tight on the steering wheel that his knuckles were white.

"So…I ran into Kate," I tried to break the undeniable tension.

And here come the lies again.

Wrong move. I should have just kept my mouth shut. "You ran into Kate. You ran into Kate?!" he repeated this time much louder. "We're not cavemen, Leah Marie!" And there's my middle name, this was turning out to be a fantastic day. "There's these awesome little things called cell phones that we use to communicate. You know like calling me to let me know you weren't dead and that you were just soaking up the sun with your B.F.F."

"Sorry," I mumbled, figuring that he blew up, I would apologize and that we would be able to get on with our day.

Wrong again.

"Sorry? You're sorry?!" He hollered so loud I thought he was going to burst a few blood vessels. "Do you realize something always happens when you disappear? Car crashes, crossroads demons, tattoos! You've been gone all damn day! You said that you'd be right back. I figured you meant you were going to get something from the vending machine not end up on the other side of town. I almost called Bobby!"

See what happens when you make selfish decisions.

There should be this little person who tapes my mouth before I say something stupid but unfortunately I don't have one of those. I was tired after spending all day chained to a table and being stared at like a piece of meat, literally. It didn't help that I couldn't turn off 'dad radio' and this asshole had to go and start with me.

"Tattoos? Really, Dean? You're putting my tattoo in the same category as being in the hospital?" A small laugh escaped and he slammed on the breaks at a stop sign. If I hadn't put my hand up to brace myself I would have gone head first into the dashboard. "Newsflash, I'm twenty-three years old. I'm sorry if you almost had a heart attack, gramps, but hop off me, man. I'm allowed to do whatever I want with whoever I want without your permission."

"Says the chick who has been talking to herself," he replied callously as the light turned green and we headed back toward the motel. I threw daggers at him but didn't say anything. I'd only make it worse by telling him I wasn't just talking to myself but that it was my father's voice in my head. "What am I going to have to do? Start tracking everywhere you go and give you a curfew?"

"You don't have the right!" I nearly growled in anger.

He chuckled darkly with a shake of his head and pointed a finger at me, "I'm responsible for-"

"My mistakes, my decisions, everything is all on me. Not you, me! You're not dad!" I cut him off as he pulled into a parking spot at the motel. I didn't wait to see the look on his face or hear anything he else had to say as I got out of the car and slammed the door behind me.

You're right, he's not me, he's there.

SUPERNATURAL

Three days had gone by since our little argument in the Impala and though they usually didn't last this long I was certainly not going to be the first one to break. My father's voice played through my head all day, every day, constantly criticizing me for what I was doing wrong. Yesterday the grip on my gun was too tight, this morning I had put too much toothpaste on the brush, and five seconds ago I was breathing too loudly. Do you know how hard it is to hear this voice in your head twenty four hours a day, seven days a week, and not be able to silence it, ever?

Dean pulled the Impala in front of a beautiful white Victorian house with blue shutters and a wrap around porch. He opened the glove compartment and pulled out our box of fake ID's thumbing through them for something we haven't used in awhile. He pulled out two, shut the box and threw it back in the glove compartment.

"Do you think you two can keep it professional while we're in there?" Sam sighed as he pulled the box back out to hand me my badge. I simply shrugged in response as I shoved the ID in my jacket pocket. "Seriously, are you two going for a new record or something? Leah, should have called, we all know that, is there something else going on?"

"Cut the couples therapy, Sam," Dean stated as he got out of the car. King asshole wouldn't admit that I had hurt him in saying he wasn't dad and okay I guess it was a bit cruel but when you get right down to it, the truth hurts.

You're working a case, leave everything else at the door and focus.

Sam glanced back to me and I shook my head, "Just let it go, Sam."

We walked up the front pathway and reached the porch at the same time Dean knocked on the door. While Sam and Dean introduced us I held my identification up silently as I went over the case in my head to make sure I didn't miss anything. The newspaper had claimed Janet Dutton died suddenly without cause but when we checked with the local police department we found out that she had lost all her teeth. When the coroner came for the body he said that not one tooth was left in her mouth and that she had asphyxiated on her own blood. We asked what could cause such a thing and he had no clue whatsoever, he said that in his fifteen years on the job he'd never heard of anything like this.

I glanced around the well furnished home as Mr. Dutton led us up to the master bedroom with attached bathroom where she had died. Dean and I stood in the bedroom with the husband while Sam went to see if there were any supernatural traces in the bathroom.

"She was so scared. I couldn't help… I couldn't do anything to stop it. And I've talked to the police, and I've talked to the medical examiner and no one can explain it," Paul rattled off, his voice full of emotion.

Dean plastered on his cocky 'I'm better than you' smile and ran his hand over his tie trying to look professional, "Well that's why they put the call in to us Mr. Dutton."

"But the CDC, that's disease control, right? What do you think it's some kind of virus?" Paul questioned, his eyes darting between Dean and I hoping one of us would have some kind of explanation for him.

People needed to realize that the unknown was usually better than whatever nightmare had killed their loved one. Dean looked over to me wondering if I was going to answer but I just stared at him expectantly. He cleared his throat, "We're not ruling out anything yet. Mr. Dutton, did Janet have any enemies?"

"I'm sorry?" he asked, not quite sure if he had heard right.

"I know women aren't always forthcoming with information but was there anyone that might have had a reason to hurt her?" Dean tried to rephrase the question to not only get information out of Paul but to throw a jab at me as well.

If Sam didn't finish his snooping soon he was going to be picking Dean's teeth up off the floor. "I apologize for my partner he doesn't mean to be rude he just can't help it sometimes. You understand we have to cover all our bases. We don't like to jump to conclusions before we have all the facts."

Now's not the time to be fighting with your brother. Keep your head in the game.

"Uh," Paul looked over to Sam as he walked out of the bathroom and discreetly nodded to us that he had found something. "Everyone loved Janet."

"Not one single person had a problem with her?" I pressed, hoping for a more honest answer this time because I could easily name a crap load of people I had a problem with and one was standing next to me this very second.

He looked at me like I had physically hurt him with the accusation. "Of course not."

"Okay, thank you very much," Dean extended his right hand and Paul shook it. "I think we've got everything we need. We'll get out of your way now."

We showed ourselves out and I groaned when I realized it started raining while we were inside. Shoving my hands in my pockets to keep my jacket closed we made our way to the car.

If you would have checked the weather this morning you would have known it was going to rain and could have brought an umbrella with you.

"That dude seem a little evasive to you?" Dean asked, looking directly at Sam as if I didn't even exist.

Sam let out a huff of annoyance, "Do you think maybe it's because you two were more concerned about pissing off one another instead of getting answers?"

"I told you to cut the Dr. Phil crap," Dean warned as he slid into the front seat as Sam did the same.

I climbed into the back and ran my fingers through my hair to get some of the water droplets off, "We got answers. Janet Dutton didn't have any enemies, everyone loved her, and it's pretty clear her husband did too."

"Yeah?" Sam questioned, turning so he could look at both of us, and held up a small cloth bag. "Then why did I find a hex bag?"

If you weren't so wrapped up in trying to piss your brother off maybe you could have gotten better answers out of the husband. You should have been paying attention. I've taught you better than this, I taught you how to do the job right, and now? Now you're throwing it all down the drain. You're disgracing the Winchester name because you can't get out of your own head. You don't even know that your brother is talking to you right now.

"Le? Leah!" Sam's voice brought me back to the conversation at hand. I hadn't even realized I had zoned out but now that he was staring at me with such concern in his eyes that I shifted uncomfortably in my seat. Even Dean was watching me carefully from the rearview mirror. "You still with us?"

"Huh? Yeah. Hex bag, no good," I rambled trying to cover up my obvious space out.

Sam kept his eyebrows furrowed as he stared at me, "Where did you go just then?"

"Pretty sure I'm still in the backseat," I tried to laugh it off. "You would have seen if I went somewhere. I'm not a superhero, Sasquatch." I held my hand out for the hex bag and he handed it over. "So, we're thinking witch, right?"

He watched as I moved the bird's bones and rabbit's teeth around with my finger, "Uh, yeah, and not some new age wicked water douser either. This is old world black magic, I mean warts and all."

"Ew," I grimaced as I handed the hex bag back to Sam.

"Man," Dean groaned from the front seat, "I hate witches." He shivered at the thought as he turned the car on. "They're always spewing their bodily fluids everywhere. It's creepy, you know, it's down right unsanitary."

"Well, I guess Paul was wrong," I spoke up. "Someone definitely had it out for his wife."

"You mean you were wrong," Dean muttered under his breath but not quiet enough where I couldn't hear it.

Don't start.

"No," I drew the word out sarcastically, ignoring my father's voice. "I meant that maybe he actually didn't know what was going on. You heard him, 'everyone loved Janet', and all that puppy love bullshit."

"Or," Dean turned in his seat so that he could look at me straight on. "He was lying to cover up some big dark secret."

"Not every person we meet are liars, Dean."

You can lie to your friends, you can lie to your family but you can't lie to yourself.

"Either way," Sam cleared his throat hoping to get the conversation back to the case and not whatever Dean and I were arguing about at the moment. "This wasn't random. Someone in Janet Dutton's life had an ugly axe to grind."

Dean stared me down for another second before turning his attention to Sam. "So, what? Are we looking for some old craggy Blair bitch in the woods?"

"No it could be anyone; neighbor, coworker, man, woman. That's the problem they're human, they're like everyone else," Sam replied. "We find the motive-"

"We find the murderer," Dean finished.

Sam nodded, "Yeah."

SUPERNATURAL

After a little digging into county records, hacking into personal emails, and stalking out Janet Dutton's Facebook page she was about as boring as it came. Great job, never been arrested, graduated in the top twenty percent of her class, had too many pictures of extravagant vacations she'd been on, and she could save fifteen percent on her car insurance. Not having anything else to go on we decided to tail Paul in hopes he would lead us to some answers otherwise we'd have to wait until the next person turned up dead and that kind of went against the whole saving people part of the job.

Paul Dutton was about as exciting as his dead wife. I perked up a little in the backseat, figuring we were about to finally have some action, when he came out his house around seven that night and got into his car. We followed him for ten minutes before he drove through a fast food joint. Guess you couldn't blame the man for being hungry but I slouched back down in my seat.

I asked if we could go through too, food sounded awesome right about now, but Dean just tossed me a pack of gum and told me to hush. Paul's car pulled off to the side of the road and I watched him dig into a nice juicy burger while I chewed my flavorless, sugar free, gum. I didn't think Dean even knew what sugar-free anything was it must have been something Sam picked up at our last stop at the gas station.

Pay attention. A true hunter doesn't worry about his or her own needs.

I scoffed at his voice. What a hypocrite. That's all a hunter worried about especially him. He let his need for revenge drag our family all over the continental United States.

"Something you want to share with the class?" Dean asked sardonically and I inwardly cursed at myself. I didn't realize the scoff had been out loud.

"I'm bored," I easily covered.

He shook his head and went back to watching Paul eat his burger. Sam tried to catch my gaze but I purposefully kept mine out the window. I had been getting twenty million questions all freaking day and though most of the time I was able to keep my comments to myself sometimes I slipped and answered my dad's voice. I had to be more careful though or I would get myself locked in a padded room. Huh, interesting thought. I wondered if hell hounds could get to me if I was locked up.

They'll get you no matter what. That's what happens when you sell your soul. Hell hounds come and drag you into the darkest depths of perdition.

"Son of a bitch," Dean declared as Paul fell out of the front seat of his car and onto the street. We all scrambled out of the Impala and ran over to see him choking on something. Dean held onto Paul's shoulders as he yelled, "Check the car!"

Sam searched the front seat while I whipped open the back door and started digging through the piles of old fast food wrappers. Good Lord, dude, respect the car. I felt something wet on my hand and prayed to whoever was listening that it wasn't some type of bodily fluid. When I pulled my hand out to see it covered in ketchup I was actually relieved and wiped it on the backseat.

"Guys!" Dean tried to hurry us along but really what more did he want us to do. Do you know how many places you can shove a small hex bag in a car this size? We could be here all night and still not find the thing.

"Got it!" Sam exclaimed.

Well, alright then just go ahead and prove me wrong. He pulled out a small blow torch and lit it on fire causing the bag to go up in blue and green flames before he dropped it to the ground. Why he couldn't just use a lighter was beyond me and the fact that he just carries a small blow torch around with him was kind of off putting.

At least he is prepared.

"You okay?" Dean asked Paul as he set him against the side of the car to catch his breath.

Paul's eyes were as wide as saucers as he pulled much needed air into his lungs making him look psychotic, "What the hell is happening to me?!"

"Do you want the sugar coated version where we assure you nothing will happen to you as long as we're around or do you want the truth?" I questioned, earning me a glare from Sam.

I half expected him to answer but before he had the chance to Dean cut in. "Someone murdered your wife and now they're trying to kill you. That's what's happening to you."

Paul's mouth opened and closed a few times as his eyes darted from each of my brothers and then to me, "That's impossible! There's no way any-"

"Did you miss that little hex bag going up in flames a few seconds ago?" I interrupted him before we had to hear the whole spiel about how the supernatural didn't exist. I swear I could recite it word for word by now. "Apparently, you pissed someone off bad enough for them to want you dead. Anyone in particular you can think of or do you just go around pissing everyone off like some douche-bag?"

"Leah," Sam scolded. Oh, don't look at me like that. If I had done my questioning right the first time maybe this would have never happened.

Now you're right about that one.

"I-I," Paul stuttered, still out of breath.

Get a grip on yourself, man, I don't have time to hold your hand and walk you through this like some scared child. "Alright, pay attention because I'm only going to say this one more time. If my asshole brother hadn't insisted we followed you you'd be dead on the street right now. So," I stepped up closer to him and strategically placed my foot between his legs with the threat of squishing his manhood if he didn't start talking. "Wanna try this again? Who would want you dead?"

That's my little girl.

Paul glanced down to my foot as I inched it closer to him and then to my brothers for help. "I…uh…," he wasn't even able to form a complete thought and it was starting to piss me off. I moved my foot and he put his hands over his 'family jewels'. "There's a woman." Of course there is because it's too much to ask for a man to keep it in his pants. "An affair, a mistake, she was un-balanced. She was blackmailing me and I put an end to it a week ago."

Sam pulled me back from Paul and kept a light hold on my arm as he asked, "What's her name?"

"What could she have to do with this?"

"Paul!" Dean hollered. If people could just answer our questions instead asking other ones our lives would be so much easier. "What is her name?!"

"A-amanda…Amanda Burns."

SUPERNATURAL

"You got your handy dandy blow torch?" I whispered to Sam as we crept up the front walkway of this woman's house.

Cue bitch face.

Dean crouched down to pick the lock on the front door while Sam and I pulled out our guns ready for anything. I mean I've seen Fatal Attraction too many times and that movie straight scared the shit out of me. To be honest I think it's the main reason I wouldn't fuck with a married man, besides the obvious. Dean finally got the door open and we flocked into the room like trained professionals. The flame of a candle danced on the table from our movements and when our eyes landed on a woman lying too still on the glass coffee table Sam hit the lights.

"That's a curveball," Dean commented, keeping the gun in his hand but lowering it as he walked further into the room.

"Yeah," Sam agreed with a slight nod.

I, however, was frozen in my spot staring at the repugnant red blood stain on the floor. Drip by drip it fell from the table, creating a teardrop like shape before soaking into the carpet.

Wondering how good it would feel if that was your blood, aren't you?

Dean used the barrel of his gun to check her arms, "Three per wrist, vertical. She wasn't foolin' around."

I wanted to say something, I wanted to get my feet to move, but I couldn't stop staring at the blood. When I saw the cuts my own arms tingled with the need to be sliced open.

Go ahead, be a weak little girl, end your time now. Hell is waiting for you but it has to be better than the life you're living now.

Dean's scream pulled my eyes up from the table to see he almost walked into a dead rabbit handing from the ceiling. "Oh God! Freakin' witches! Seriously man, come on!"

"Think it's safe to put your gun down," Sam mentioned as he motioned to my .45 I still had aimed and ready. I heard him but I still couldn't move.

A small part of me wanted to just turn it around and blow my brains onto the wall behind me. When I didn't respond Sam came over and carefully took the gun out of my hands and shared a look of concern with Dean as he clicked the safety on. It wasn't until he stood completely in front of me and blocked my view of Amanda's body that I was able to focus again.

"I…I'm going…" I tried to form a sentence but the words kept getting caught in my throat. I moved away from Sam and towards the door, "I need some air."

My feet tripped over themselves but I was able to stay standing as I grabbed onto the porch railing. I needed to get away from that image as quick as possible but even as I climbed into the backseat of the Impala it was engrained in my mind.

Now that's not the Winchester I raised you to be. Running away? We're supposed to run towards the fear.

"I'm not scared," I whispered as I pulled my knees up to my chest and scrunched my fingers in my hair. "I'm stronger than this. I'm not scared. Everything is going to be fine. I'm not scared."

Liar.

I wasn't out there long until the guys came out and slid into their respective seats.

"Le?" Sam questioned with concern as I held myself together in the backseat the best I could because when I was curled into myself no one could hurt me.

Dean glanced back at me in the rearview mirror and without asking what the problem was held his hand out, "Knife."

He didn't trust me as much as I didn't trust myself in that moment and I wordlessly pulled my knife out and handed it over to him. The shock in his eyes that I didn't object or argue only made me feel like I was losing myself even more.

Tsk, tsk, tsk. My weak little girl. Looks like you can't stand on your own. You need your brothers after all.

"Case," I stated as I took deep breaths in through my nose before slowly exhaling through my mouth.

"Freckles, what's going on?" Sam questioned as he laid a comforting hand on my knee.

I shook my head quickly trying to erase the images of blood from my mind, "Case, Sam, please. Just talk to me about the case." Give me a way to escape before I go insane.

He shared another look with Dean before letting out a deep sigh, "There was another hex bag. We think we're dealing with a coven."

SUPERNATURAL

By the next day I was able to lock away my nightmares, shove them into a little locked box in my mind, and carry on about my day.

"You can stay in the car if you want," Sam offered as Dean parked the Impala along the sidewalk.

I plastered on the smile that I had perfected over the years, "I'm fine, Sammy." The look on his face screamed that he didn't believe me. "Really, I had my Girl, Interrupted moment and now I'm good."

Dean mumbled something under his breath but I wasn't able to catch it. We were still at odds but after last night I noticed he had been keeping an even closer eye on me than usual. I'd like to say that it was comforting but it did little to relieve the constant growing tension in my body.

All I say now means nothing to you. You used to listen. You used to be my good little soldier. Sit up straight, square those shoulders, and take on the world.

"…and then maybe just ask around the neighborhood. What do you think?" Sam turned to look at me as we walked down the sidewalk and I realized I didn't even remember getting out of the car or putting on the suit jacket I was now wearing.

See, you do like our conversations. You pay more attention to me than those who are actually living.

"Sounds good to me," I nodded and forced a small smile as we crossed the street.

I'd just have to let them take point on the interrogations this time because I had absolutely no idea what the plan was.

"You must have a green thumb," Sam said as we walked up to a woman who was gardening. Apparently, our plan was to compliment random women on their gardening skills.

She stood up and warily looked at the three of us, "Excuse me?"

"Getting these herbs to grow out of season like this, quite impressive," Sam explained and turned on his Winchester charm complete with innocent grin. "I'm sorry I should have introduced myself first." He flashed his badge, "I'm Detective Bachman and this is Detective Turner and our trainee."

Trainee? Since when the hell was I a trainee?

Since you started having conversations with me.

"Hi-ya," Dean smirked as he showed his badge and I shoved my hand into my pocket looking for mine.

Other pocket.

I finally pulled it out and quickly showed it to her before she could realize that it was still my identification for the C.D.C. and not whatever we were trying to be right now.

"We're following up on Amanda Burns' death, going around the neighborhood and talking to neighbors and stuff like that," Sam continued to explain as he placed himself on the other side of me like I would be vulnerable if I wasn't between both brothers.

"But didn't she…I mean she killed herself, right?"

The copper smell of blood from last night filled my senses with such intensity I could almost taste it. My hands got clammy and my breaths became shallower as I was pulled back into Amanda's living room.

"Maybe," Sam shrugged.

I tried to concentrate on what was being said around me and almost whimpered when I thought about how the cool metal blade would feel against my hot hell bound skin. The release it would give me would make it all worth it, right? Just one little line couldn't hurt.

It's never just one cut. You'll want more. You always do. I should have called you my little pin cushion. Daddy's weak little girl, sewn together with a tragic smile.

"Elizabeth," a woman's voice from behind me called out and I almost gasped as I was pulled from my thoughts and abruptly brought to the present. "You all right?"

I turned to see two women walking up the drive way and each stood on either side of Elizabeth like bodyguards, mirroring our own stance and I wondered for a minute of that meant we were the weak ones.

"I'm fine," Elizabeth placated her. "Renee, these are detectives. They say Amanda was…she was practicing…"

"I'm sorry detectives," Renee cut off her rambling friend with an unsettling glare. "You can tell Elizabeth is a little bit upset."

I could almost feel the hatred toward this woman radiating off of Dean in waves. "Of course, Miss…"

"Mrs.," she replied coldly and emphasized each part of her name. "Renee Van Allen. Would you like me to spell it for you?"

If your head was in the game you would sense something was off.

Dean gave her an unfazed grin, "I'll get by, thanks."

"This Amanda business had been hard for Liz," Renee stated as if it was a rehearsed line and then added as an after thought, "For all of us."

"Yeah," the other woman who stood like a guard dog ready to attack agreed. "I mean, you think you know a person."

I saw Dean glance at me in my peripheral vision, "Well, I guess we all have secrets."

Go ahead. Tell him about the conversations we've been having. See how fast he leaves you in a padded room to truly be the lonely little girl you've always felt like. Better yet, tell him to kiss his boy goodnight.

SUPERNATURAL

Ever since my Girl, Interrupted moment Sam had annoyingly been trying to get me to open up about what was going on so when I said I saw a diner just outside of town that I wanted to try for dinner he stood by me and helped me convince Dean to go. I felt bad that I wasn't giving him any of the information he wanted but I had gotten too used to living in the confines of fear. How were you supposed to open up and tell someone, even someone you're with everyday, you're deepest darkest secrets?

We were on our way back to the motel when Dean had enough with the silence in the car and decided to talk about the case. "Well, I'm already sold on the Elizabeth chick. Did you see that victory garden of hers? Belladonna, wolfsbane, mandrake… not to mention that little flinch she threw when we mentioned the occult."

Should have been paying attention. You know exactly what those plants look like but instead you were being selfish and thinking of how sweet it would feel to have blood rolling down your arms.

I shifted in my seat as Sam replied, "Well, she's definitely had a good run lately, gone up a few tax brackets, won almost too many raffles. Kind of thing a little black magic always helps with." He flipped through some of the files he had printed off at the library before dinner. "I don't think she's alone either. Looks like 'Mrs. Renee Van Allen' has won almost every craft contest she has entered in the past three months."

Told you so.

"Yeah, a regular Martha Stewart, huh?" Dean shook his head. "Except for the devil worship, I'm think that was the coven we met back there, minus one member."

Sam closed the folder of papers and set it on the seat between the two of them. "Amanda was clearly going odd the reservation. What do you think, they killed her to keep up appearances?"

"Seems like an appearance kind of crowd, don't you think?" Dean shrugged nonchalantly. "If they killed the nut-jub, should we uh, thank them or what?"

Think if you told him what was going on he'd put you in the same category.

"They're working black magic too, Dean," Sam sighed, his gaze set out the front window. "They need to be stopped."

Now, Sammy has the right idea. Think if he'd pull the trigger for you?

"What do you mean stopped?" I questioned, speaking up for the first time because between the conversations going on in my head and the one going on in front of me it was hard to keep up. "Like stopped, stopped? Like dead?"

Sam turned and looked at me in the backseat, "Yeah, Le, that's what I meant."

"They're human," Dean stated, a look of confusion on his face mirroring my own.

"They're murderers," Sam corrected him.

Dean adjusted his grip on the steering wheel, "Burn witch, burn."

Murdering yourself isn't the same as murdering someone else, maybe you'll be alright.

I put my hand on the seat in front of me as the car started to stall out and jerk. The headlights flickered on and off before the car came to a complete stop.

"What the hell?" Dean muttered.

When we all looked up there was the one person, or demon I should say, that could only make this day that much worse.

"Ruby," Sam got out of the car to talk to his new best friend.

Dean and I followed suit and got out of the car as well both walking around until we were standing in front of the Impala.

"Sam, listen to me, there's no time," she got right down to business.

Sam never took his eyes off of her, "For what? What are you talking about?"

"You have to get out of town," Ruby almost pleaded with him before turning her gaze to me. "Leah, this is not the way to keep your skin from melting off that pretty face of yours. Get your brothers in the car."

Aww, my little girls skeletons just came screaming out of the closet.

My cheeks flushed as I felt both brothers' attention on me and knew I would have to answer to it later but right now Dean wanted to take care of the situation at hand.

"So this is Ruby, huh?" he questioned as he pulled the Colt out from his jeans and aimed it at her chest. "Never had the pleasure. I was hoping you'd show up again."

"Dean!" Sam gasped, scared that our brother was going to blow his 'friend' away.

"Point that thing somewhere else," Ruby snarled as Dean kept the Colt aimed at her.

He flat out laughed in her face, "Right."

"Sam, please," Ruby looked back to him. "Get in the car and don't look back."

"Why? I don't understand," Sam looked like he was getting pulled in twenty different directions and he wasn't sure which was the right way to go. I hear you, bro, it's no fun.

"Hey, hot stuff, we can take care of a few kitchen witches, thanks," Dean cut off the prospect of any conversation that was going to be had between Sam and the demon.

"I'm not talking about witches, you jackass. Witches are whores. I'm talking about who they serve."

Serve? I thought witches were all bubble, bubble, toil, and trouble. I never thought that they actually served someone.

"Demons," Sam realized and I almost did a double take. Tall one, say what? "They get their power from demons."

"Yeah," she nodded and crossed her arms. "And there's one here, now."

"Oh, you mean besides you?" Dean mused.

Well isn't our little family going to hell in a hand basket.

Ruby rolled her eyes at Dean's lame comeback, "Sam, it knows you're in town and it's going to come after you and its way more than you can handle."

"Maybe we should go," I suggested softly and you would have thought I just said the sky was falling.

Dean reeled around and pointed a finger right in my face, "Please, tell me you aren't listening to this crap! She's messing with your head. God knows why, that's who they are! You have enough problems as it is right now to be adding a demon cherry on the top!"

"I'm telling you the truth," Ruby promised and I cowardly took a step back from my eldest brother.

He all but growled at her, "And I'm telling you to shut up bitch!"

"I'm sorry, why are you even apart of this conversation?" She cocked her hip to the side with attitude. "Oh, right, right, because you care about your family so much. At least Leah had the balls to confront me to my face. But you? You just let things play out and then get your boxers all twisted when there's not a happily-ever-after."

"Shut up," Dean warned.

"Help me out here, Leah," she turned her attention to me and I felt like a damn ping pong ball being thrown back and forth with no end in sight. "I thought we could be besties."

Dean ran his thumb over the top of the Colt getting ready to fire it, "I said shut up!"

Sam ran past me and pushed Dean's arm up so the bullet went into the night sky instead of in the chest of Ruby. As soon as the shot rang out, she was gone leaving three very pissed off Winchesters on the side of a back road.

"What the hell is going on with you?" I asked Sam with a look of horror on my face.

Dean scoffed and ran a tired hand over his face, "I could ask you the same thing."

"No, don't turn this around on me," I argued, waving Dean off. This was between me and Sam right now he could just go sit in the corner and wait his turn. "Have you gotten too many concussions over the years that something got knocked loose? Befriending a demon? Shooting a human being? I don't care if they are witches or the scum of the earth, stuff like this used to eat you up inside! Sam you're the kind of guy that would bring a sick dog to an animal hospital. You don't have it in you to kill a human!"

"It's not that simple anymore, Leah! We're not just hunting anymore. We're at war!" Sam shouted back at me.

"So, what?" Dean hollered, getting in our faces a little. "You two are going to listen to what a demon has to say so you can win some war? We kill her before she kills us, it's just that simple!"

"She said she knows how to get Leah out of her deal," Sam's booming voice almost met that of Dean's. "You want that, don't you? Because I seem to be the only one still trying to save her!"

I pushed away his arm that was outstretched in my direction. "At what cost to you? Sam, she is using me to get to you. She knows I'm your weak link!"

At least you're admitting your weakness.

"Shut up!" I screamed in frustration. Dean and Sam shared a look but I ignored it as I walked over and poked Sam in the chest. "I didn't sell my soul so you could go have play dates with a demon."

No you did it because you saw a way out of your miserable life.

SUPERNATURAL

The rest of the way back to the motel was driven in complete silence. The second we got back to the motel Sam took off down the street, most likely to clear his head, and as soon as I was out of the car Dean peeled out of the parking lot.

I should have gone with my brothers instead of being left by myself in the motel room because even when I was the only person in the room I was never truly alone. I glanced over to our weapon bag and could just picture every knife that was in there; the small ones we used to cut through screens, silver ones, brass blades, machetes all just laying there waiting to slice through my skin.

I couldn't tell you when I decided to take a knife out of the bag or how I got in the bathroom in the first place. The blade rested on the side of the porcelain sink while I sat on the edge of the bathtub and stared at it. One cut that's all it would be. It didn't even have to be on my arm, I could slice through the top of my thighs so I could hide the chink in my armor.

My subconscious screamed at me to pick up the knife, that the release it would inevitably give me would be worth it, that no matter what pain I caused myself it would be nothing compared to the torture I would endure in the pit. The knife was now in my hand right hand but instead of being steady like it always had been when I gave into my demons in the past my hand shook. I rolled the leg of my pajama pants up until it was bunched way above my knee. The knife glided over my skin and blood started to bead around the cut.

Felt good, didn't it? Imagine how good it would feel to do it again.

"No," I answered his voice. "I can't do it again. Just needed a little relief. One and done."

Make three and you'll be free.

"No, no, no, no," I argued with myself.

Should I do it? Should I just give in? There was no use in fighting a battle you were sure to lose in the end anyway. What would I be missing out on? A few more months of alcohol and cheap motel rooms?

C'mon little girl, sing me a lullaby to put me to sleep.

I still think that it was fate Dean decided to come back to the motel room at that moment and when I heard the door slam behind him I jumped in surprise. The knife suddenly seemed so heavy in my hands and every rational thought I had went out the window as I stumbled out of the bathroom.

"Dean," I caught his attention easily, standing there with one pant leg rolled up with a fresh cut and the knife still in my hand.

"What the hell," he breathed out, tossing his jacket and taking a step towards me.

The closer he got the more I felt like I was losing control until I crumpled to the ground and started gasping for air. Everything was spinning out of control and I just needed it to stop for a minute so I could breathe. I was vaguely aware of him taking the knife from my hand and sliding it across the floor and the second he was close enough I fell into his chest. Heart wrenching sobs shook my whole body and I needed him to be that over-protective brother I was always giving him a hard time about.

Come home to me little girl. We can be together.

"Make it stop," I cried into his shoulder as I soaked his shirt with my tears. "I can't take it anymore. Please, De, just make it stop. I need it to stop!"

"Shh" he rocked me back and forth like I was a little girl again. "Breathe, angel, everything's going to be alright."

But you know it's a lie.

Sam came through the door like he was ready to continue our argument from the road earlier but when he saw Dean trying to console me on the floor his whole face changed.

"Hey, what's going on?" He quickly walked over to where we were and crouched down in front of us placing a hand on the back of my head. "Leah?"

I could feel Dean tense and for a moment I thought it was because of my breakdown but when he basically shoved me into Sam's arms as he clutched his stomach I knew it was much worse.

"De?" I questioned, swallowing my own tears as his face scrunched in pain. My heart rate rose and dread filled me as he fell to the side still holding his stomach. "Dean!"

"Ah!" he screamed out, "It's like there's a bunch of knives inside of me. Guys, something's wrong."

You just going to sit there and watch your brother die.

"Hospital," I finally I managed to form a word let alone a thought as I scrambled to my feet. "Sam, get him in the car we need to get him to the hospital."

Dean violently shook his head, "No, it's the coven. It's got to be the coven."

"Hex bag," Sam and I simultaneously stated.

Sam started ripping through the bed sheets while I went into the bathroom and checked every inch of it. I ran my hands along the top of the mirror, behind the toilet, under used towels but came up blank.

"Sam?" I called out nervously, hoping he was having better luck than I was.

There was a slight pause before he cried out, "I can't find it!"

When I came out of the bathroom Dean was now coughing blood up and I dropped to my knees by his side. "Sam, what do we do?"

"Stay here," he instructed as he grabbed the Colt, checked to make sure there were bullets still in the chamber and ran out the door.

"Sam…Sam!" Dean hollered after him but it was too late as I heard the Impala's engine roar to life.

"Please hang in there," I whispered, using my sleeve to wipe the blood from his mouth. "I can't do this without you."

Suddenly, our motel room door was kicked open and Ruby was standing in the doorway.

Should have killed her while you had the chance.

"You wanna kill me? Get in line, bitch," Dean snarled through the pain.

She made a move for Dean and it was like a switch was flipped inside of me. All my anger and worry was bottled and came out in the strength I needed to fight her. I swung my fist at her face but she ducked out of the way and made another move towards Dean.

"Get away from him," I roared as I grabbed a hold of her long blonde locks and yanked her onto her back.

While she was on the ground I sat on top of her to pin her down and punched her in the face repeatedly. A punch for being a demon, a punch for lying to Sam, a punch for trying to hurt Dean, and then a punch to silence the voice in my head. I was about to hit her again when she grabbed my wrist and twisted my arm until I felt my elbow pop out of socket with a sickening pop. I rolled off of her and held onto my arm, willing the tears to stay at bay.

She took the bag that was hanging at her side and squirted some black liquid into Dean's mouth until there was no more left. "Stop!" I shouted as I got up and tackled her to the floor ignoring the pain in my elbow. I threw punches with my left hand as best as I could but since it wasn't my dominate hand it did little to no good.

"Hey," Dean sat up and used the back of his hand to wipe his mouth. "You saved me."

"Don't mention," Ruby smirked and motioned to me, "Mind calling off your attack dog now?"

SUPERNATURAL

"You don't think Sam would actually do something stupid, do you?" I questioned as Dean hot-wired a car in the parking lot. He just glanced over to me with a look that screamed I should have known better. "Okay, then hurry the fuck up!"

The wires finally sparked, starting the car up and we flew down the road towards Elizabeth's house since we didn't know where the other two women lived. We got lucky though when we saw the Impala parked a couple house down and when we ran through the door with shotguns raised we were thrown against the wall by an invisible force.

"Three for one," one of the women we questioned earlier smiled with black eyes, "Lovely."

Looking around the room it seemed like we missed quite a bit. Renee was dead on the floor her head at an odd angle so I could only assume her neck was broken. Elizabeth was cowered it the corner and my dear brother was stuck the wall like some fly stuck in a spider's web. For a second I was thankful Ruby came in and saved Dean when she did because obviously Sam wasn't getting too far.

"Wait!" I heard her voice and almost groaned in annoyance. How many times did I have to see this black eyed skank today? "Please, I just came to talk."

The demon possessing the brunette looked surprised to see Ruby. "You made it out of the gate. Impressive. That was a bitch of a fight, wasn't it?"

"Doors out of hell only open for so long," Ruby shrugged.

Great, another tally we can add to the things the Winchesters have fucked up over the years. So this Ruby chick was one of the hundreds of demons we let out the night the devil's gate was opened. Pile on the guilt.

"What do you want, Ruby?" the demon asked with a sigh as if she was bored.

Ruby glanced up at her through her lashes and took a step closer to the demon. "I've been lost without you. Take me back. That's why I led the Winchesters here." If looks could kill Sam would be dead from the way Dean was glaring at him. It didn't make sense to me though, why would she save Dean's life just to kill us at a later time? "They're for you, as a gift. Let me serve you again. I've wanted it…I've wanted you for so long."

Dean raised his eyebrows and I could only imagine the kinky thoughts he had running through his mind.

"You were one of my best," the demon smiled and as Ruby moved to stab her with her knife the demon caught it. "But then again, you always were a lying whore."

I had to admit even I didn't see that one coming but here she was, a demon, fighting for us. And if that didn't leave a sour taste in my mouth I didn't know what would. The two demons fought and I hated to admit it but I was silently rooting for Ruby because she would be our best bet of making it out of this alive. Then again, maybe if a demon took me out it wouldn't be as selfish as suicide.

The demon had kicked the shit out of Ruby and as she lied on her back the demon shook her head, "You're really telling me you threw in your chips with The Three Musketeers here?" Ruby's nose had blood pouring out of it and she her chest was heaving with each breath she took. "C'mon, get up!" When Ruby didn't move the demon hauled her up by the front of her jacket so that she was sitting on the floor, "We've been here before, haven't we?" She laughed and looked over to the three of us that were pinned to the wall. "She didn't tell you? Pretty mortifying, I guess. She was one of mine. I turned her out a long, long time ago. Ruby here was a witch. Of course that's when you were human."

If there wasn't an invisible force field holding me to the wall, I might have crumpled from the harsh realization.

"Didn't want your friends to know that all those centuries back you sold yourself to me? Embarrassing, I guess. But don't worry love, no secrets where you're heading remember?"

Centuries. Did you hear that? She was in hell for centuries worth of torture…and no secrets? We'll you certainly won't fit in down there. They'll have to break you in a while. Don't worry little girl, daddy held out. But then that's the real question isn't it. Are you as strong as me? Can you deal with everything they'll do to a Winchester in hell? Or will you be daddy's little disappointment?

Something must have happened because I was let go from the force field and I fell to the ground since I wasn't expecting it. I had to bite the side of my cheek to keep the tears in that were stinging my eyes at my father's words but as I looked up Dean had Ruby's knife. He stabbed the demon in the back repeatedly until a light flashed through the host body and she was killed.

SUPERNATURAL

Dean came back in from getting us sodas from the vending machine with a far off look on his face like he was somewhere else completely.

"You alright?" Sam questioned, as he caught the soda Dean tossed to him.

He glanced over to me and nodded, "Yeah, was just thinking."

"Don't do that you might break something," Sam teased, earning him a half smile from Dean.

We decided on some crappy movie though we were all lost in our own thoughts. I wanted it to end, for the voice of my father to go away, and just be normal again but to be honest I didn't even know what normal was anymore. I couldn't get over the fact that Ruby had been human once, a witch, but still human. Was that what I had to look forward to? Would hell break me in every way possible before spitting me back out into the world where I would kill for fun?

The thoughts were suffocating so instead I tied myself together with a smile because just maybe there was a way to will the pain all away.

Big or small; lies are lies and the pain never goes away.