Disclaimer: I do not, and unfortunately never will own Invader Zim. Also, the more of Irken Gaz understands, the more of it will get subtitles.
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Zim and I are sitting in the living room. Zim's on the couch, I'm on a chair opposite of the coffee table, and Gir is scattered between us. A successful first dinner has been followed by this awkward confrontation. We need to decide what to do about his aggressive responses, and I've wracked my brain trying to think of a way to ensure a long life for myself. He looks stressed as hell, leaning forward with his elbows on his knees, hands clasped together. The telltale sign of the twitching left antennae. I know that there's something that he's reacting to that's causing these… accidents, which is why I'm willing to let it slide and help him. I've never offered this kind of support to someone before, and definitely not an alien, so all I can hope for is that I don't make anything worse.
"Zim… do you know why you keep doing that?" I ask a question that I already know the answer to, just so we can start going somewhere with this.
"Yes." Yeah, I knew that.
"Can you tell me why?"
"No." I feel like pulling my hair out. I want to help him, for some reason, but I'm beginning to sense that he has a three mile brick wall built around him to keep others out. Sounds annoyingly familiar...
"Zim, why not?" He frowns and turns away from me.
"Kaí finú'oích daov!" I don't want to. He sighs and nods his head down. "It is no good. I no want to say." I'm sure it can't be that bad, but I don't want to press the subject.
"Fine. But we still have to stop your reaction. Your reflex, of it. Right?"
"Yes."
"Okay. Just to be clear though, you threw the fork because you were startled by me."
"Yes. I do not know it is you."
"Right, got it. So you attack when you think there is someone who is not me?" He nods.
"I do not want to attack you."
"I know that. Look, let's try something." I grab a small couch pillow from behind me and hold it up. "See this? This is going to be the fork, or the knife, or whatever." I toss it to him, and he catches it with ease and looks at me, perplexed.
"Okay…"
"I'm going to go into the bedroom." I point behind him. "Then I'm going to come out and try to surprise you. Try not to throw that." He squints at me and then lifts the pillow with his left hand.
"This is no fork or knife. It is baby." He shakes the pillow a bit, and looks confused.
"Baby… Do you mean soft?" I demonstrate soft by touching the carpet, and poking another pillow.
"Yes, this is soft. I no throw soft. I throw not soft." So he's taking the metaphor too literally.
"I know. Pretend it isn't soft. Pretend it's a fork. Not real fork, right?"
"Ah, okay. Not real fork." He smiles and puts the pillow down next to him.
"Yeah, so when I startle you, try not to throw the pillow. Got it?"
"Suzhoízh." Understand...s?
"Cool." I get up, and go to the bedroom. I make sure to leave the door wide open so I make as little noise as possible when I reenter the living room, and I take off my shoes for good measure. While waiting, I watch Zim. I can only see the back of his head and shoulders, but it's eerie the way he seems to be focused. Whenever there's a sound, like my next door neighbor slamming a door, the closer antennae will swivel toward the sound, like a cat does. It's fascinating. I give it a few minutes of quiet, then I tiptoe out of the room as quietly as I can.
"This no work." He blurts out after a few steps. "You is loud, and I know you is here." I didn't make a sound, but sure. Let's try something else then. I walk back around the couch and stand a few feet in front of Zim, making sure he's holding the pillow.
"Fine, what would you suggest then?" I cross my arms and wait. He turns away from me to think.
"I…" I take my chance. He's preoccupied, and thinks we're not practicing. I lunge at him and try to grab the pillow. Before I even get to him, he has stood up from the couch, and grabbed my left arm, simultaneously turning and lifting me back into a standing position. In the split second of all this happening, I saw his right arm pull back into a fist, and then he stopped, immediately releasing my arm and taking a few steps back. He was about to punch me, yikes. But he didn't. Progress, I suppose. I take a second to compose myself.
"Good! That was good!" Why is that good? "I actually attacked you and you didn-"
"That was no good!" He growled, with shaking hands as he started to pace. "Do not do that!"
"I'm sorry, but it's okay! I trust that you won't hurt me." I raise and lower my hands in the air, as if to say calm down. "Here." I throw the pillow back at him.
"That was a good first start, but you need to not attack me at all."
"I know."
"Let's try the sneak up thing again, okay?"
"That do not work." He frowns at the pillow then whispers to himself. "This do not work." Dropping the pillow, he sits on the couch, slouching with defeat. I sigh, and go to sit next to him.
"Say… I'm not me. What would you do?"
"Not you?" He turns and narrows his eyes.
"Yeah. Say I'm someone you don't like."
"What is like?"
"Oh, um." I point to Gir. "You want to fix Gir, right?"
"Yes." He murmurs.
"Well that's because you like it. Him. Whatever, you care about Gir. Do you understand?"
"Yes? I… like you? Right?" He smiles a bit, and seems to cheer up.
"Oh, uh, yeah." I wasn't expecting that. "Yeah that's right, Zim… So, say I'm someone you don't like. What would you do?" It's almost as if he's frozen in place.
"Someone… I do not like?" He whispers.
"Yeah. Is there anyone like that?" His eyes turn cold, and he frowns.
"Yes." He clenches and unclenches his hands.
"Well, I'm going to go back into the bedroom, and when I come out and you see me, I want you to see that person, and for you to also not attack me. Okay?" I lean over him to grab the pillow and hand it back to him. "Please remember to only throw this." I say quietly.
"See... the person I do not like?"
"Yeah. Okay then, let's give this a shot!" I have no idea why, but I reach over and gently grab his hand. "It's going to be just fine, I promise." He smiles weakly, and I retreat to the bedroom, wait a few minutes, and then reenter. I am as quiet as I can be until I can almost see the profile of Zim's face as I walk around the couch. I know he's watching me out of the corner of his eye, I just need him to see what isn't there… He closes his eyes, takes a deep breath and turns towards me. When he opens his eyes he must be imagining that other person because he narrows his eyes almost to ruby slits and immediately hurls the pillow at me, smacking me in the face.
"Hey! It worked! You saw the person!" I giggle to myself as I bend down to pick up the pillow. It stings a tad bit, but it's just a more intense pillow fight. When I stand up he looks… horrified.
"I am sorry! I do not want to throw pillow!" His antennae are flat against the back of his head again. "I do not good…"
"No! No it's great! That was great!" I smile widely and go to give him back the pillow.
"What?" He stares at me as if I'm crazy.
"We now have a way to practice! You need to learn how to not act on that reflex to throw the pillow, right?" I sit on the armrest.
"Ah, yes."
"Then let's try it again!" I squeeze his hand again, and stand up to walk back towards the bedroom. "You can do this!" I have never in my life been this supportive of… anyone. Geez.
I take my position in front of the bedroom door, and his left antennae twitches. This time, when I circle the couch, his eyes are already closed, and his face is scrunched up tightly like he's concentrating. I can hear him mumbling some words in Irken I can't make out to himself. I make it to the same point as before, then turn and stomp my foot in the carpet.
His eyes flash open, he turns and lifts the pillow, and just as he's about to throw the pillow, he stops! He clutches it in his hand and looks absolutely furious for a second, then he must have shaken the mental image of the other person away and smiles at me. A genuine, happy smile.
"That was great!" He laughs a bit at my reaction, admittedly my voice went a little high. "Do you think you could do that again?" He smiles.
"Yes. I can do that again."
"Nice! Well done." I come to take my place on the couch.
"Thank you."
"You can take a break for now and fix Gir up a bit, and we can practice more later."
"Okay." He taps his fingers against the coffee table.
"Yeah, I have to do homework anyway. Oh I should probably check the assignment first anyway, and see if I've missed any emails…"
"Gaz?" The tapping's stopped.
"Hm? Yeah?" I snap out of my train of thought to see him beginning work on Gir with a slight smile on his face.
"Thank you. For help." He broadens the smile, then turns back to his work.
"You're welcome." It feels so weird to be thanked so genuinely like that. I almost… like the feeling. Just like the stars or spaghetti, it's like having another fleeting sense of that wanting for forever. Makes me feel warm without the need of a fire or blanket. It's nice.
Taking one last look at Zim, I go to my room to check on my homework. My laptop is on my desk, on the opposite side of the room. Then I notice it. Zim's suitcase is still in here, leaning against the far wall. He knows it's there, but he still hasn't touched it. Why? I want to know what's in there so badly it's burning me up inside, but I somehow get the sense that I shouldn't ask about it. I don't think anything bad is in there, I just feel that it's personal. Or it will upset Zim. I'm not sure.
I shake all thoughts of the suitcase aside, and finally get to checking my emails. Looks like we did have a homework assignment from art history. A very interesting looking assignment. I grab my computer and art supplies and leave for the living room. As I step toward my bedroom door, I make sure to yell out to Zim. I'm sure he hasn't perfected the 'no attack' rule yet, so I should make it easier for him if I can.
"Hey, Zim!" As I walk into the living room, I can see that he has already turned around on the couch, thankfully he is calmly sitting there. No forks or pillows at the ready.
"Yes?"
"So you know what art is?" He shakes his head 'no'. I point to a painting on the wall. "See that? That is art. Art."
"Ah, that! Yes, I know art. Irk has art." Okay, so another planet has confirmed paintings. That's actually really cool.
"Yeah, good. So, I'm going to school for art. Oh, a school is a… house to learn in."
"Right. You do art?"
"Yeah, I'm an artist. Of sorts. I'm going to do computer graphics and video game art, but that's beside the point. I take a few 'regular' art classes and I just got an interesting assignment!" He blinks in total confusion.
"What? I do not under-" I wave him off.
"It's okay, it doesn't matter. Look!" I show him the email with the assignment, and he just tilts his head at me and smirks.
"You know I do not understand that, right?" He points at the email. I'm an idiot, he can't read. Duh. Of course they have a completely different writing system…
"Oh, yeah. Sorry. Well, it says I have to do a realism fantasy piece for my art 104 class. I figure I could make it easier for myself to just draw you instead of making something up. No one will know the difference, and I'll be able to cheat by having a real life model!" I think I've lost him again.
"What?" He chuckles. "You so fast. Slow down! What is draw? Fan-ta-see?"
"This is drawing." I grab a piece of paper and doodle a stick figure on it. "See?"
"Draw is art, yes?" He takes the paper and seemingly analizes it.
"Well, kinda, but yeah. So, I want to draw you. Understand?" He looks up at me from the paper and cocks his head.
"Draw me? Why?"
"For school, well it doesn't matter why, but I want to. Are you okay with that?" He shrugs and nods his head.
"Yes, that is good. I am okay with that."
"Sweet! I'll get started on it right- Actually, I'll let you go to sleep. It's getting late, I should sleep too." I carefully stack my art stuff on a side table next to the chair. "I'll see you tomorrow, okay Zim? Goodnight."
"Goodnight, Gaz." He turns back to Gir to work some more, and I go to bed.
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Now all I need to do is find the alien. So far even the really deep channels I hack into don't have any useful information, besides that completely fake helicopter story. Looks like I'm going to have to find it without government 'help.' Figures.
I don't think they have the alien though, because I've picked up major heightened military activity around the area where the ship crashed, which means to me that they're looking for it. That it got away. If it's a shapeshifter, it could have already infiltrated the white house! God, these guys are amateurs, I'll show them! My next step is to figure out where the alien went.
The ship crashed in a fairly isolated location, meaning that if the alien got away on its own, it most likely wouldn't have encountered any humans if it chose to hide in the forest. However, there are some small towns nearby that would be obvious for any intelligent creature trying to find civilization. Here's the weird part. I've been following government activity in the area closely and while they seem to have investigated most of those towns, they've ignored two of them all together, one of them being the closest town to the site! Why would they do that?
Think, Dib, think! The only reason they wouldn't go near that town is if they already knew the alien wasn't there. How would they know that? There hasn't been so much as a single soldier step foot in there. It doesn't make sense!
Unless… Unless they have a lead on the alien. Obviously since they seem to be sending envoys to most of the towns going outward in distance from the crash site they haven't found what they're looking for, which means the alien is still out there. I need to find out why they aren't investigating every town, but most of them. They must have some sort of pre-screening factor for what they're looking for.
I find it hard to believe that the alien has already visited the thirty odd towns and villages that have received government guests, so they must be looking for someone else. Like a person… A person! Somehow they know something about a person with a connection to the alien and they're looking for them! They must have some sort of (seemingly extremely vague) description and are pre-screening towns to look for them.
I think it's time for me to take a vacation to the Appalachian mountains. Get some fresh air, talk to some locals, see what they've heard. The usual, touristy things. Plus, Gaz's school is nearby so I can say hi to her while I'm there.