This very short tale is set as only a remembrance during the 9th chapter of the story.
I did say to present at times moments of Subaru's stay in Flanders and more on Louanna. Especially since there is basically nothing about her made. Although there isn't info about her character, based on simple descriptions or recollections of her, I went with it. And I thought it best to start of light.

Of course, this little addition isn't essential to the story, I thought it'd be nice to just flesh out some things.

The actual chapter is posted at the same time with this tale. So, should you want, feel free to skip this little thing.

Short tale - Louanna

Often times there is that moment during the day, any day, when a thought halts your thinking for a good while.

Simply finding yourself caught daydreaming.

What if's, commonly called.

And isn't it funny how more often than not those 'if's' always hinge on wishful thinking? Stuff like the better side of what could have been?
Well those instances can be pretty weird.

'S like spacing out on the world around and going numb like a dimwitted bozo to stare at nothing.

But, oh well… it can maybe be good too.

…

Heinkel blinked once, then twice. He breathed in suddenly and clenched his fingers around a palm-fitting object. With a left to right twitch of his mouth, as if washing his teeth with water, he gave a silent thanks to his daydream.

Not far from him, a small gathering of maroon clothed people eyed him subtly. Foreigners belonging to the off-putting group he noticed upon entering Meckart's Duchy. …Well… Crusch's Duchy now, technically.

Some whispers were passed by the strangers at the notice of them.
But all in all, the travel robed group simply kept at a distance and looked oddly at him.

Pursing his lips Heinkel looked appraisingly at the object he held. Its shiny and cold metal surface felt welcome to the touch. It was a familiar thing he grew accustomed to by the years.
In fact, it felt odd thinking of it as it being separate from his person. As if he were not born with it. It went to show, just how habitual this thing became to him.

Once more, Heinkel felt oddly thankful to his wasteful daydream.

Daydreaming like this over things that could have been… something-

"-Something only a drunk does all day…"

A dull statement passed his lips as he patiently waited outside the quaint wooden inn.

Peaking over his shoulder at the inn's suspended balcony of creaking wood, where he knew behind a door down to the left a jumped in the head guy had to gather his wits, Heinkel convinced himself to wait further.

Clenching the small metal object, he thought over this 'what if' that now… existed.

※ ※ ※ ※ ※ ※ ※ ※ ※ ※

He became eternally bound; he was aware.

There was no escape or solace anymore in postponing. Surrendering to a distant dream by abandoning his resolve.

Just when he almost grew content with the vision of himself wasting by her bedside, finally failing in full, that future disappeared.

That 'if' of a future he envisioned so vividly turned into a 'what'. And now what only in dreams kept him going solidified into reality. What was wishful thinking was now palpable.

It was impossible to put in words the journey of emotions and thoughts he went through.

Heinkel was elated!

Heinkel dreamed so fervently he almost lived in dreams of what it would be like to wake Louanna!
No reason to wonder why. Bringing about that goal would always be as impossible as the curse he grew to hate. Her unreasonable illness; the mind rotting consequence he shouldered. All those were unchangeable.

He was fated, it seemed, to this slowly eroding fate.

It really seemed like that. It did.
Heinkel was sure. Begrudgingly, he could not lie about it. Along the way he understood, he as he was, could do very little to save his wife. Louanna was cursed and out of reach. Any idiot could understand.

He alone, couldn't change that.

Well, perhaps he wasn't all that forsaken looking back at this day.

"Constrict the cuts, and use sturdier cloths!" His gruff and raspy tone rang with a focused clarity in the lavish chamber. "Those wounds won't close naturally. There. …Keep them tight from bleeding!"

With concise directing and astounding insight over the matter, an awareness the people surrounding him found confusing, Heinkel eased Subaru on a chair set adjacent to a great bed.
The decades undisturbed purity of that sacred bed was now imbibed with dots of scarlet. Something like a freakish altar were sacrifice was demanded for a miracle to occur.

The irony was not lost to him.

Heinkel's shoulder suddenly felt squeezed.

"!" After a muted gulp and a muffled inhale, Subaru rose a palm, almost irritated, to deny further help. Using the gesture to shoo away the royal Commander. The action succeeded to not only halt Heinkel but to also stop the rushing Reinhard in place. That doe-eyed fool was far too unstable with the amount of emotions to think clearly for the remaining day.
Subaru would later that day retrieve the Sword Saint to have what would be called 'an insightful discussion'.

Resting on an uninjured spot of his elbow, making the decorated chair creak, Subaru sucked his teeth and hoarsely spoke.

"Gonna insult me like this just as I do for once something good, hmn-?"
Caught out of breath, Subaru flashed a puny grin. Gathering some air in his lungs the lost knight mustered his boundless source of roguish flair to resume. With a bony finger covered in ghastly white skin the black-haired man pointed to a stirring figure.

He knew better than anyone how this moment was not fit to be sullied. Whatever it could have been now, Louanna's waking was by far the priority.
He learned this much from his own botched up misdeeds. He and Rem could not boast to have had the best reunion.

"…' won't." With a resolute answer and understanding air, Heinkel didn't so much as inquire further before turning his back to Subaru.
What might have seemed uncaring on the outside was exactly what Subaru asked for. And exactly what Heinkel needed to focus.

"Fath-" Reinhard's words died in his throat the moment Subaru's pointed look found his confused eyes. The panic of the moment coupled with the unimaginable moment left the red headed knight at a loss. However, he quickly read Subaru's wordless message. "Carol-san, if you would?"

"Naturally, young master." Said and done, Carol saw to Subaru's unnaturally reopened wounds. Those un-mending brutalities peppered his body like a plague. This would undoubtedly be one of the maid's toughest jobs.

…

Faltering, Heinkel felt doubtful.

Heinkel had lost much along the way for this moment.

More than anything material, he definitely lost much of who and what he was. Whatever he lived as now certainly didn't feel as him. At least, the him of a sweet-lost past.

Even his appearance said as much.

…

Henikel felt relieved.

Louanna's perpetually sealed eyes stirred. Her eyelashes, over a decade's worth shut, creaked apart.

A drawn-out inhale from her unchanging figure meant a world of difference to the petrified family.
Chewing his cheek with the awareness of the term used in mind, Heinkel shrugged off the shame.

…

Heinkel felt hateful.

All that remained for him to strive for… not even achieved by him alone.
His repurposed life's goal was so impossible he never stood a chance. Yet he remained stalwart enough to never stop pursuing it. And that pursuit never was easy. Regrets say as much.

But for all of those bitter, wrong yet dedicated years to now be swept off? Only for the solution to conveniently find its own way in his hands? What was there to feel it deserved.
Where it not for the sake of Louanna, Heinkel wouldn't have dared receive this help.

And yet, no matter how he felt, precisely because Louanna meant so much, he was required to give proper value to this solution. His wife was anything but a charity. And Heinkel knew he'd soon need to leave her. 'If only briefly', he would reason. But he'd have to.

How else to earn her cure?

…

Glimmers of resplendent green the likes this world could not imitate looked at him.

Without judgement; without confusion.

A natural ease to smile livened her visage.

Without resentment; without blame.

Louanna… looked every bit as simply waking from a dream. If only bothered for feeling so sluggish when sleeping too much.

Just a dash of surprise nuanced her joyous look.
Her silk-weight palm rose daintily to cup Heinkel's frozen face.

Naturally, she was a quite surprised. Just the night before they lulled each other to sleep she easily recalled him without these laden features.

Her smooth and weightless fingers mindlessly traced his earned faint wrinkles. Her eyes carefully looking over the wizened blues of her husband. His hair, caught her attention with budding gray strands.

But a thing made her smile; a detail to give Heinkel's heart a squeeze. When her hand traced his jaw and her thumb caressed his lips, something that his eroding self had long since abandoned caring came to please her. Something only such a horrid drunk like him sported each moment to be now gone.

After what were years of lost focus, this miniscule detail made today was enough to etch itself in Heinkel's memory.

Louanna would always rebuke Heinkel's lack of presentability whenever he forgot. Louanna always childishly pestered him for keeping a certain appeal. Louanna always carefully checked on him to be just as dashing as when they were charming one another since the beginning. …Louanna always appreciated this little detail he'd keep just for her every morning.
Even if this small like of hers may seem childish.

Despite the drag of years she had not lived, the first thing to make her smile this daybreak was simple.

"You never seem to tire for charming me, don't you?" With such a gentle and lively voice, Louanna spoke to him. "Never change, please."

And Heinkel's once encumbered, bitter, face cracked with an emotion befitting his presentable self. After all, Louanna deserved nothing less than what she loved to see. A drunk's face was out the discussion by default.
So, how could not Heinkel revel to her a true smile? How could he not when greeting his wife just as she'd always whimsically want every morning he'd do? Make her smile when cupping his cheek, proving how caring for himself made her happy.

Freshly shaven, and with clear eyes.
Louanna always liked to awake and greet Heinkel like this. Her hand caressed his face as if not a feature had truly changed about it.

…such a meagre detail she so loved.

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Inhaling deeply, the deputy Commander squeezed the metal flask in his palm and put it back.

His now empty hand, feeling like peeled of a skin layer, was moved to scratch his chin.

The morning's orange rays began to vibrantly color the corner of the Duchy. And Henikel felt a bit of discomfort the second his palm dragged across his chin.
Prickly.

"Bah..." Nonchalantly acknowledging the sensation, the knight leader thought to himself. "Needs a knew shave."

Yes, as surprising as it may seem, I try, though miserably, to make something emotional. Maybe I'll get the method saomeday.

As with the other parts, please let me know what you think should be improved on. Bad or good, it's best to know so I can change that as things go on.

Now, with that said, the real chapter is posted just after this small tale. Hopefully there I did better than here.