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All the way from Florida up to Washington DC, I only stopped once. It was somewhere close to Savannah, when I was so tired that I already thought I'd crash the car.
I got a few hours of sleep. Then I continued to drive.
I cannot waste one second. Every hour that I sleep, I feel like I'm stealing these hours away from Audrey. What if she got hurt during our getaway? What If they snatched her back and she got hurt then? What if she's suffering, while only I can get help? I have to get her out of there ASAP. Even if isn't hurt - she should spend one more day there.
Sleeping, I can't help her. I feel like I'm just wasting time.
It didn't take me long to find out that there had been a big funeral for her, half a year ago. All official honors. She got buried somewhere close to David Palmer in Arlington, the place that was officially reserved for Heller - who would have ever thought she'd end there first.
I arrived at Arlington after driving through the night. It's the first place to go. I'm pretty sure that Heller will come. He resigned due to Alzheimer's. He doesn't have anything to do. Audrey was his whole life.
There was no day, sixteen years ago, in which I didn't visit Teri's grave. I'm sure he'll also show up here, today. I just have to wait.
Though I don't have that much money on me, I buy a single red rose at the flower stand at the entrance to the cemetery. I buy it for the living Audrey, not for the 'dead' one.
It's hard to be here.
I hate the thought of having to read her name on a tomb stone.
Her grave is not very hard to find. It's in the middle section, in the most beautiful part of the whole grounds.
I approach it from the back side. I don't want to read the name. Goddamnit, no. It shouldn't have ever come that far.
I failed her in London. I shouldn't have trusted Kate with Audrey's security. I should have surrendered to the Chinese, to get her out. Or go there myself to protect her. Whatever I did, it was wrong. This has been haunting me for the past six months already, but now, standing only a few yards away from her 'grave' it was worse than ever.
I failed her so my times.
After China. I should have stood up to Heller and all their accusations. I should have been there for to help her recover. Not that douche Boudreau.
I failed her earlier, when I faked my death and didn't even tell her that I was still alive. Chloe knew. Even Tony and Michelle knew. But the one I loved most didn't.
That's twelve years ago now.
Back then she stood at my grave, reading my name there while most likely she cried her eyes out and didn't even know I was still alive.
I'm a goddamn coward to stand here, behind the grave, just not to read her name.
Go over there, have a look at it.
Finally, I bring myself to do it.
Audrey Boudreau
born Heller
October 4, 1971
September 25, 2020
She is alive. She is alive. She's not down there. This is a meaningless stone, like there's one in L.A. with my name on it!
Still, it brings me to my knees and I feel like I can't get up again. I feel like that stone is crushing me, bound to me, drowning me.
She's alive, I keep telling myself.
But that's of no use. I lost her during our getaway. I made it out of China - again - and she's still there. I've failed her again.
I take the rose and stick it into the grass in front of the tombstone. And then I sit there, for half an eternity.
Heller arrives around eleven.
An entourage of secret service men pour into the cemetery, securing it. One of them heads straight towards me.
I slowly get up from that spot in front of Audrey's grave. How long have I been sitting here? Two hours? Three? Doesn't matter.
He wants to shoo me away before Heller comes but I won't let him. Instead, I start to argue with him, telling him that I have a right to be here.
This all won't matter any more once Heller comes over. When he recognizes me, he'll call his attack dogs off.
The man and I are still arguing, while Heller comes closer. I've offered him twice now that he should search me for guns and then just let me be here because I also have a right to mourn for Audrey. He obviously doesn't know who I am or what kind of a connection to Audrey I had.
Heller is coming over now. He sees us argue and just as I expect, he calls out to the Secret Service agent to stop.
He's ten yards away.
I look directly into his eyes - but he doesn't respond. He doesn't even recognize me. Is it because of the beard and the longer hair?
Who are you?, he directly asks me.
He is so different from the man I once knew.
Jack Bauer, I answer. He has to remember my name. Or my voice. After all that we've been through! After all the things that happened and which inextricably linked our lives!
For the split of a second there's a reaction. His features changed.
But after that second, he's back to how he was before.
He looks at Audrey's grave. There's just the lawn and the single red rose that I stuck into the grass in front of the tombstone.
Did you know my daughter?, he asks me.
I can't believe it. He really doesn't know who I am. Yes I did, I silently tell him. I wonder: does he realize that it was me who put that red rose there? Can he link the two things?
Heller steps forward to the grave, while the Secret Service agent pushes me a few yards back to keep me at a safe distance.
How did you get to know her?, Heller asks me, while he still stares at the rose.
We worked together. At DOD. It's like talking to a complete stranger.
He nods and smiles sadly. Maybe he's remembering something of his times at DOD. Again he looks over, at my face.
Damn it, it's me! Remember me!
Did you know her well?, he asks.
I'm not sure what to answer. Will he believe the truth, if I say that I was involved with her? Or will the Secret Service agents think I'm a total liar and bring me away in that very second? Audrey Heller can't have been involved with that strange guy, they must think.
I knew her well, I say, finally. I can't talk to Heller. I had hoped that he'd recognize me and I planned on telling him everything that happened to me and Audrey from London until now.
But this is no longer an option. The Secret Service men will never believe a word I say. He won't even know what I'm talking about.
My deepest condolences, Sir.
I step away. The Secret Service agents are more than just glad that I'm out of their primary perimeter. Heller has probably already forgotten that I was there at all. He's just drowned into the name on the stone.
I head back to my car and get in.
So far, I've reached nothing. Plan A is not an option. Heller can't help me.
I have to come up with something else.
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