BPOV

"I need to get a dress for Homecoming," Tanya announces to the room.

I sit on the floor between Jazz's legs as I take a hit of his joint. The cool fall air bites at us through Tanya's balcony doors.

Tonight was my first taste of freedom since my grounding.

It felt good.

Tanya had her Spotify on low, flowing through her room creating a mellow.

"This shit is good," I say after exhaling, laying my head against Jazz's chest.

He takes the offered joint from my fingers inhaling deeply.

I hum at the movement.

"You two should just fuck and get it over with," Tanya says from her bed.

I snort.

We tried over the summer, it was too weird. I also tensed up once the clothes were gone but he was sweet about it.

I turn my head seeing the lazy smile on his face as he shakes his head.

"Jazz has a girl he's been sweet on, just won't say who it is," I tease.

He pinches my side.

Tanya is eyeing him and I wonder if she knows who it is.

"Want to go dress shopping with me and Maggie?" she asks changing the subject.

"Yeah, sounds good," I say, resting my arms on Jazz's knees.

The hand not holding the joint rests on my stomach.

It might be the weed but I start to feel a little worked up.

I hear the pool house door open and close. Emmett went in about twenty minutes ago. Tanya doesn't say much about Edward, but she likes to analyze him from time to time.

She said before he came here he was engaged, he was the one who ended it. She likes to assume he was a man whore because she's seen two girls back there in the past month. They were mostly isolated incidents but Tanya was convinced he liked to 'get his dick wet'.

Jake was like that but Edward didn't strike me as the type. I assumed the girl she spoke of was the girl I saw that one embarrassing morning.

Jazz nudges me from my thoughts passing the joint back to me.

I take a long pull seeing Edward watching me from below.

Emmett was smoking a cigarette as he stood with him.

I exhale smoothly.

Jazz's fingers drum lightly on my stomach.

I notice a frown grow on Edward's handsome face. I think Em does too because he's now looking up.

He waves, I tip my head in response.

Tanya being the nosey person she is, gets up to see what I'm looking at.

"Those McCarty boys carry such a hard-on for you," she says, causing me to scoff.

"C'mon B, you have to see the way Brady stares at you," Jazz says.

"I heard Edward tell Emmett to keep your name out of his mouth," Tanya says knowingly.

"Oh, do we have another suitor to add into the ring?" he teases, tugging at my hair.

I bat his hand away, leaning forward.

It doesn't work because he only pulls me into him even closer.

At that, Edward goes back inside the pool house.

"There is this girl, Jane, that keeps trying to hang around. The other day my mom came back from the store and bumped into her as Jane was leaving the backyard while he was out. She started asking Mom a lot of questions about Edward."

"So the girl is a clinger?"

"My dad heard screaming when Heidi was over there the other night."

"Jane?"

Tanya confirms with a nod.

I push off the tops of Jazz's knees to stand, I walk over to the balcony. Emmett is still smoking.

"You want one, Swan?"

I shake my head holding up my half-smoked joint.

"Want to share?"

I look back at Jazz as he shrugs, I knew he had more on him.

"I'll be down," I called to him.

I make my way through Tanya's house until I'm outside. We were staying the night so I was already dressed for bed, it's chillier than the balcony. I cut across the yard to where Emmett is standing.

He has a jacket on but pulls it off when he sees me.

He and his brother might have similar personalities but they looked nothing alike. Brady was tall and lean whereas Em was shorter and bulkier, not fat just pure muscle. Em's hair was curly and blonde and Brady's was curly and dark brown, both had bright blue eyes.

"Here, m'lady," he says, offering his jacket.

"Thanks," I smiled, handing him the joint.

He uses his lighter to light up, he takes a long pull.

"This is good," he croaks out.

I nod with a smile.

I feel like we're being watched and my feeling is confirmed when I see Edward watching us from the couch through the window.

"Maybe we should offer him some," I suggest.

"Ed's straight-laced, not his scene," Em says, taking another hit. "Where did you get this?"

"Pete Sullivan," I told him.

"Good to know," he hums. "So you completed your sentence yet?"

"I'm a free woman," I declare with a smile.

"A free woman blazing it up?" he snorts.

"Damn right."

The pool house door opens as Edward steps out. He leans against the closed door looking between me and Emmett.

Em playfully waves the joint at him.

"Nah," Edward declines, shaking his head.

"See, straight-laced," Em stage whispers. "Swan paid her debt to society."

"How's school been?" Edward asks.

I'm not going to tell him how I broke Royce's nose. I don't say that Charlie was called into the school the next day and that for some reason he was on my side even when Royce's father threatened his job.

Something with my dad shifted after Alistair King said I had it out for his precious son. I wondered if he could see my unease with having to be in the same room as Royce.

Charlie became almost bearable during the remainder of my grounding. Esme was the one who called him and said that she and Carlisle were going out to dinner in Port Angeles tonight and then they'd be home right after. She assured him that Edward would be home laying down the law, but my dad pointed out he was home the last time.

Charlie loved Esme so I think he just wanted to give her a little bit of a hard time.

I also wasn't going to tell Edward I quit wearing bras after my second one was stolen again during gym and now I made sure to wear my jacket most of the day.

"School is school," I answer with a shrug.

I want to be a bitch and ask how Jane is but I don't.

I'm still not sure what kind of guy Edward is. He seems harmless but he has also slept with random girls to scratch an inch. How does someone go from being engaged to casual sex?

"I got to take a piss," Em says, looking back and forth between us.

I take the joint back from him.

Just like that, I'm alone with Edward.

He moves closer like he's being pulled into me. I look up at him with the joint hanging between my lips.

"You don't smoke?" I decided to ask him.

"I usually partake behind closed doors," he murmurs. "Maybe next time you have a joint we can share inside."

"Just me and you?" I asked, tilting my head up at him.

He nods.

I'm quiet as I inhale, letting it sit in my lungs before I exhale.

It's cold and I have to dance a little to keep warm.

Edward's hand brushes the side of my thigh just below the material of my shorts.

"You should head in, it's freezing out here," he says softly.

"You shouldn't do that," I say, bending down to stub out my joint.

"What?"

"Touch me like that."

"Sorry."

"It's just you seem to like a lot of girls, don't want to send the wrong message," I say as I walk slightly backward.

He looks embarrassed and I think I like that.

I turn to make my escape.

Once I'm in the kitchen, Jazz and Tanya are leaning against the counter watching me.

"Maybe I was wrong, maybe you and my cousin should just fuck already," she says frankly.

Jazz laughs hard and I roll my eyes at them both.

I look out the window seeing that Edward is staring at me from his.

Maybe this was how older guys were, they liked to sow their wild oats. He was in a long serious relationship where maybe she broke his heart. This might be how he heals.

"I'm serious," Tanya says.

"You said so yourself Edward is a manwhore and that's not my kind of guy," I shrug before sending her a meaningful look. "I don't commentate on your and Maggie's relationship, so please don't do that with me and whoever might be interested."

"It's just you never talk about anyone," she argues.

I tense.

"Bella doesn't need to share her love life with us if she doesn't want to," Jazz speaks up.

Tanya frowns, keeping her mouth shut.

I'm baked, only wanting to go to bed.

Once I announce this, we all decide to go up to bed. I just lay there for a while thinking about Edward.

His looks and touches say one thing, but his behavior with other girls says something else. I don't know him well enough to make assumptions, but I don't need someone who doesn't respect women.

But he really doesn't seem disrespectful.

After an hour of deliberating this, I throw my covers off, making my way through the dark house to the pool house.

It's fucking freezing and I have no coat on.

Edward's television is on when I tap on his door, his head snaps up and he hurries to let me in.

"Jesus Bella, it's freezing out here," he says, ushering me inside.

My teeth are chattering as I stare at him.

"Why do you touch me?"

"Bella, listen, earlier shouldn't have happened. I apologize for that," he says roughly.

"It isn't just the touching, the way you look at me—"

"I look and touch because I can't help myself," he groans, running his hands through his hair.

"Is this like an addiction thing?" I ask softly.

He pauses with a frown. "What?"

"Like do you have a sex addiction? I've been to the outpatient rehab center in Port Angeles I think they treat sex addiction," I ramble still high as fuck from my earlier joint.

"You were in rehab?"

"I got alcohol poisoning at a party needing my stomach pumped, that is what led to my dad forcing me into rehab."

"Just from one party."

"It was my behavior leading up to that party."

"I don't have a sex addiction, but thanks for the concern." He's smiling at me looking more amused than mad. "Despite what it may look like to people in this town or my cousin, I was trying to find an outlet to work off my frustrations and it was the wrong choice."

"So, you just bang chicks when you're frustrated?"

"No, I usually don't— I was with someone for four years and I wanted to see what it was like to be with others, which was wrong of me."

"Now Jane's stalking you."

"She's not stalking, she's just persistent."

I give him a look.

"I swear," he laughs.

I walk past him plopping onto the couch. I grab the blanket off the back of the couch, wrapping it around me.

He follows suit.

"I have a question—"

"Okay."

"That night when you said Royce was a predator what did you mean?"

I shake my head while my shoulders tense.

"Hey, you don't have to tell me," Edward says gently.

His eyes show his concern.

"I—" I stop myself as this overwhelming feeling pounds through my body.

I grip the tops of my thighs trying to find my words. If I tell Edward what happened, would he tell anyone, would anyone believe it?

I kept this in because I didn't want a spectacle to be made of my life. All it would be is a he said, she said victim-blame of the events. I didn't want to put myself through that because I wasn't sure if I could handle the disappointment of people not believing me.

Edward moved to kneel in front of me, holding my hands in his.

I take a deep breath before letting it out.

"I don't know what to call what he did to me— was it assault or was it rape? It was definitely a violation but I don't know," I say seeing something flash in his eyes.

His thumb brushes the top of my hand.

"Why are you not sure of what he did?"

I can't look at him when I say it so I pull my hands away from his hold and go into myself.

"Bella," he coaxes with a softness that makes me want to cry.

I turn my head making eye contact when I whisper, "I told him no and tried to get him off me. He wasn't all the way in, you know? Jazz walked into the bathroom and pulled him off me," I confessed.

I feel dumb once it comes out of my mouth, because I've had sex before. It's not so much as that, it's I'm not sure what constitutes as rape. He pushed in but was out that much faster. He wasn't big so maybe that's all he could do. So was it more assault than rape?

I'm broken from my thoughts when Edward asks, "Jasper knows?"

I nod.

The look on his face shows how much he is holding back. I notice the vein on his forehead popping out.

"You can't say anything," I rush to forbid him.

"Bella—"

"Just please," I all but begged.

"Is this what you asked of Jasper?"

I nod.

He's quiet for a long time before he finally speaks up.

"This happened to you, but you need to reconsider saying something at least to your father," he says almost like it's a plea.

"I'll think about it."

I'm so baked that it wasn't a complete lie, maybe one day I'll tell him.

After a minute of silence, Edward stands holding his hand out to me. "We should probably get you back over to the house," he says.

"Can I stay here?" I ask quietly.

I can see the war within him but he nods. I keep the hold on his hand tugging him to his bed with me. He doesn't say anything as he lays down beside me. This is the first night I slept with Edward.

A/N: So far this is my favorite chapter. A huge thanks as always to CoppertopJ for her edits. Please review.