Welcome back! Last time, The Undertaker raised the dead, Saturn played Nazi Sympathizer and met his grandmother, The Juggalo World Order visited and we had a big reveal, this time we have more shenanigans!
The camera cut to the car, Saturn pulling into a gas station, Festivia opening the passenger side door, then Saturn opening his, and Solaria hers, Festivia running through automatic doors to the bathroom, Saturn and Solaria walking in, a gray pegasus mare at the front counter
"...I don't trust you around her" Solaria said
"Funny, I was thinking the same thing" Saturn replied "I just had to lie to her about how I don't think your evil…Undertaker brought you back, didn't he? Well you can go back to him"
"I'm not working with him" Solaria replied
"Sure you aren't. I'm not stupid" Saturn said "I don't need a bitch like you telling me that I can't raise my daughter"
"You're holding her hostage, you freak" Solaria replied
"...You don't have a sword, you can't do shit to me" Saturn said, Solaria swinging a punch, Saturn catching it, "You have no magic, you rely so fucking heavily on" Saturn twisted her arm behind her, locking his around it, using the other arm for a chokehold, locking her in a crossface chicken wing, solaria quickly passing out, Saturn dropping her, picking her up and walking out to his car, opening the trunk and putting solaria inside before slamming the trunk, Festivia walking out
"Dad, where's grandma sol?" Festivia asked
"She went back to her home planet or some shit" Saturn replied "You want me to buy you something to drink, Corn Cob?"
"Yeah!" She smiled. The camera cutting to Twilight's castle, Glim sitting in her and Saturn's room on the bed, watching TV, Luster walking through an open door
"Miss Glim?" She asked "Where's Festivia?"
"With her dad, you didn't see her sneak out?" Glim asked
"No ma'am" she replied
"Oh" Glim's eyes widened "...She'll be back, I lost a friend once, and I haven't really seen him since"
"...Festivia is just going on a road trip, it's not like he's going to princess twilight's school for gifted unicorns" Luster said
"Princess Twi- heh, you really are from another timeline" Glim replied "You want to sit up here and watch TV?"
"...Ok" she said, hopping on the bed and sitting, the camera cut to the meeting room, Twilight sat with Eclipsa, Globgor and Meteora.
"My friends will be here soon" Twilight said
"Star, Marco and Moon are on their way as well" Eclipsa replied
"While we're waiting, I'd like to ask you some questions about Mewni's history if you don't mind" Twilight said
"If I am able to answer and it wasn't during the time myself or my globby were crystalized" Eclipsa replied, the three adults beginning to chat as the camera cut to Saturn and Festivia in the car, ICP playing in the background on the radio
"Hey, Festivia….I'm sorry" Saturn said, murmuring and struggling being heard in the trunk
"What, why?" She asked, taking a sip out of a drink "Dad…Is grandma in the back?"
"...No, don't be silly, Festivia, she's in the trunk, suffocating" Saturn replied
"DAD! I know she's evil, but she's family, doesn't that mean anything?" Festivia asked
"Fam- goddamnit, ok…we'll drop her off on the side of the road with some cash, but I am NOT bringing her with us, she's a nazi." Saturn said, pulling over and parking, before unbuckling and opening his door, walking out to the trunk and opening it, Solaria unconscious next to a box, a baseball bat with barb wire wrapped around it, a NWA style championship belt and a copy of the butterfly magic spell book which opened, Glossaryck floating from it eating some pudding
"What the hell are you supposed to be?" Saturn asked
"Sir Glossaryck of terms, I have assisted the queens of Mewni since Moe the First" Glossaryck said
"Awesome, fuck off" Saturn said, closing the book, picking up Solaria and leaving her on the side of the road, giving her some cash as well and then closing the trunk before climbing back into his drivers seat and driving off
"You know, I could help you control your Crimson Moth form" Glossaryck's voice said from a backseat, Saturn sighing as he drove off
"I know you're probably some all powerful god, but I've heard COUNTLESS stories from Star, My Mother, hell even Moon about how much of a prick you are, I mean I know that's a whole image thing, but-" he was cut off
"Dad, Maybe Glossaryck can help" Festivia said
"Or, he could kindly leave us alone" Saturn said, turning the radio back on, Glossaryck's voice speaking out of it
"This would be alot easier if you followed tradition" he said, Saturn turning his head back to see a smiling glossaryck buckled in a car seat
"Listen, Professor X, you might have been able to fool the past queens of Mewni, but you're a negligent parent, a psychotic agnostic and caused all of this with your disregard!" Saturn said
"...Excuse me?" He asked
"The Magic High Commision are your kids right? So you abandoned the giraffe dude, you let the goat dude die, you told star to kill the remaining three and you never corrected them on being racist asshats" Saturn said "You never guided any of the queens, or the people of mewni."
"So you're the only one who could figure it ou" He sighed "...Are you a fan of Star Trek, by any chance"
"...Yeah, me and Festivia over here watch it" Saturn said
"There's a few things in that show, Like the Q continuum…every timeline's Glossaryck is tied in some way, from Nova, to Joshua, to yours…we share a mind…Like the borg, however we can't really interfere to make one timeline better than another, like the prime directive….I had to play my part, Saturn" Glossaryck said "I'll guide you as much as I'm allowed to kid, I like you." Glossaryck poofed away
"So I was recording that on your phone" Festivia said
"Holy shit" Saturn said, his phone ringing
"It's mom" Festivia explained, answering it and putting it on speaker phone "Hi mom!"
"Hi kiddo, where are you guys?" Glim asked
"About an hour away from Flair's house, we just had an incident" Saturn said
"An…Incident?" Glim asked
"A certain Mewman Queen and I had a fight, She's about eight miles behind us" Saturn explained "Undertaker is a necromancer too…."
"Solaria?" Glim asked
"Yeah" Saturn sighed "Also we met a fucking smurf, and we're on a yellow brick ro- USE YOUR FUCKING TURN SIGNAL DICK!"
"...Luster and I are watching TV, we wanted to check in on you guys, Star and Marco are coming over to Twilight's, some older guy with a sci-fi gun was looking for you and Star kinda let it go where you were" Glim sighed
"Rick?" Saturn asked, afraid
"...The description fit Stanford Pines" Glim replied, fear in her voice
"That's just as bad" Saturn exhaled "That fucker who worked with Bill Cypher?"
"Worked for" Glim reminded
"...Shit, Festivia…i'm sorry for bringing you into this" Saturn said, regret in his voice "Just know, whatever happens, you and your mother are my pride and joy."
"Dad, what are you talking about" Festivia asked
"I will protect you from this heartless power vacuum as long as I can, as long as i'm still breathing, I will protect you" Saturn sighed "I love you Glim" Saturn hung up
The camera panned out to show a golf cart a few cars behind Saturn's van.
"Ford, are you sure this is safe?" a young man in a blue vest asked. He wore a baseball cap with a white front that had a blue pine tree printed on it, a blue bill and a blue back. "Actually, scratch that, are you sure this is legal?"
"Dipper, I need to get him before he destroys us" Ford said
Saturn's van veered off to go to a restaurant parking lot, the golf cart following and the two parking
Saturn opening his door, Festivia as well
"Festivia, wait in the car. I have to take care of something" Saturn said, Festivia sighing and climbing back in the car
"Stanford Pines" Saturn said, Ford pulling out a laser gun
"How do you know my name?" He asked
"The last time we saw each other you tried to kill me for your buddy Bill" Saturn said "What do you want now, Ford?"
"...I wanted to protect my family" Stanford said
"Don't play your mind games with me, Stump Day, 2018…my original timeline, you came after me, my daughter was 4! Don't come to me with protecting your family, Ford'' Saturn shouted in the empty parking lot, Mabel and Dipper walking out of the golf cart, Festivia out of the car
"Festivia, stay in the car….You don't need to see this" Saturn said
"Dad. This isn't the same guy who fought you" Festivia said "Please"
"Festivia, I don't want you to get hurt" Saturn said, desperation in his voice "Please, get back in the car so I can send this cholo to AARP Senior Disability"
"Dad, Stop!" Festivia shouted
"...ok" Saturn sighed, Ford pulling out the gun and Blasting at Festivia, smoke forming around
"GRUNKLE FORD! WHAT DID YOU DO THAT FOR?!" Dipper and Mabel asked
"The Crimson Moth and a former queen of Mewni? He's trying to get in our heads, kids. Listen, I know this isn't how you saw our family reunion bu-" Ford was interrupted by glowing red eyes piercing through the fog which dissipated, Saturn stood in his butterfly form, cradling Festivia in his arms, Wings spread out, lazers piercing out of his eyes towards Ford who ducked behind a dumpster
"Ok, this is bad" Mabel said
"Why'd you shoot his kid?" Dipper asked
"It's probably an illusion! He wants to mess with our minds" Ford said, Saturn flapping his wings as he stopped shooting lasers, picking up his van with a magical tether
"Portum AD Casa!" He shouted mid air, a portal opening near the entrance of the restaurant as he, Festivia and the van went through
"...You think YOU could be in the wrong?" Dipper asked "He said you were working with Bill"
"Shut up Dipper, i'm going into the sparkling portal" Mabel said, running through the portal
"MABEL!" Dipper shouted, Ford walking through, he sighed and walked through as well, the portal leading them to twilight's castle, the group noticing the scenery of the mashup between different architectures
"No way" Dipper said in awe, Saturn opening the front door, no longer in butterfly form
"Leave me the FUCK alone!" Saturn shouted "My daughter is CRYING in my wife's hooves"
"Hooves?" Mabel asked
"I'm not leaving until you tell me your plan!" Ford shouted
"Plan?" Saturn asked "I was forced here, with my wife and kid, now I have to make sure you don't hurt her. My plan was to get her into college, my plan was to raise my child and ignore my butterfly name because it means bloodshed, please, Stanford. Take your grandkids and leave"
"Grunkle ford, he seems like he's been through alot" Mabel said
"...You know where I am if you're ready to talk like an adult, but I need some time" Saturn closed the door, the camera cutting to Flair and Shastacan who were on a couch watching a football game, a doorbell being heard
"I got it" Flair said, getting up to the door, opening it to see Hekapoo, Omnitraxus and Rhombulus
"Hey Jushtin" Hekapoo said
"Where are the other two?" Flair asked, the three grimacing
"Awesome, what do you need?" Flair asked
"We need your assistance concerning information on the undertaker" Omnitraxus said
"...Fuck, come in. don't mind the mess or the president who's drunk on the couch" Flair said, the three following him from the entryway to a living room where Shastacan sat
"King Shastacan?! You're alive!" Rhombulus shouted
"What do you dipshits want?" Shastacan asked
"Excuse me?" Hekapoo replied
"You heard me! What do you want?!" he asked
"Shastacan, calm down" Flair said "They want to know more about the Undertaker"
"Good for them, they ruined my life." Shastacan said
"Your majesty!" Omnitraxus said
"I told you to fuck off, if you don't want to start a war, I advise you do!" Shastacan shouted "Your existence threatens the American people!" he stood up "LEAVE, NOW!"
"Jushtin, please talk some sense into Shastacan, he's gone delirious!" Omnitraxus said
"I'm Ric Flair Brother! THE NATURE BOY, JUSHTIN IS DEAD AND I TOOK HIS WIFE TO SPACE MOUNTAIN, 16 CHAMPIONSHIP AND A SUPLEX…" He hesitated before screaming "WOOOOOOOOOO!" he then did a strut before falling on his face
"...Echo Creek, that's where you'll find answers, Flair won't give them, and I have a country to protect, I'm here laying low and coming up with a plan…." Shastacan said
"To recrystalize Eclipsa?" Rhombulus asked eagerly
"What, no. To apologize…I, Lost a daughter as well to a miscarriage" Shastacan admitted
"Why does she deserve an apology? She ran off with a monster!" Rhombulus said
"And you're assholes….I was too, I hope you can change" Shastacan said "So…shoo"
"...Come on guys, let's leave the traitors" Omnitraxus said
"TRAITORS? I WENT THREE HOURS WITH RICKY STEAMBOAT IN GREENSBORO, I'M 16 TIME CHAMPION, FOUR HORSEMEN, I WAS THERE! WHAT'D YOU DO WHEN YOU STRIPPED ME OF THE CROWN? HAD AN ORGY WITH MY SISTER?! SHE'S A DAMN NAZI! I'M THE NATURE BOY! THE GOD!" Flair shouted, leaving everyone speechless, either in shock or fear. "GO LET SATURN DEAL WITH YOUR SHIT!"
Hekapoo nodded, opening a portal with a pair of dimensional scissors
"Shasty, you coming with me to Smackdown?" Flair asked
"...Why not, it's in Echo Creek right?" Shastacan asked, Flair nodded
The camera cut to Star who was walking up to Twilight's castle, the door opening, Saturn standing there
"Hey Star, I'm glad you came." Saturn said, flashing laser lights in the background
"Saturn? What is all this?" Star asked
"Just come in, me and a few people cooked something up for you, down the hall in the other meeting room" Saturn said
"There's ANOTHER Meeting room?" Star asked
"Yeah, down the hall" Saturn said "Follow me!"
Saturn lead her to a large room with balloons, party favors, lazer lights, a stage with a Unicorn DJ, snacks and a large banner that said 'THANK YOU STAR' in capital letters, Ponies, Monsters, Mewmans and Humans mingling, Festivia and Luster chatting to a young human boy. J hitting on a Pegasus. Glim speaking with Eclipsa about guitars. Marco walked up to the two.
"Hey Star" He said
"Marco, what is all this?" Star asked
"Star, I know how hard you worked to bring together Mewmans and Monsters. Hell, you did the same in my timeline, I feel like I just undid everything you did….this is a thank you from your uncle and his friends" Saturn said, opening his arms, Star practically crushing him with a hug "Ba-barbar-barbarian dad, I for-gah!" he said, gasping for air
"This is amazing, Saturn" Star replied
"You haven't seen the best part" Marco added "since J and Shaggy are in the music business…they got Love Sentence!"
The door slamming open, Hekapoo, Omnitraxus and Rhombulus walking in
"OH MY CORN JUSTIN TOWERS!" Star shouted
"Alright who he-" Omnitraxus stopped in fear "Star…and Eclipsa ... .and Warnicorns ... .and CLOWNS?!"
"How's it going?" Saturn said "You can leave the easy way or…who am I kidding, what size coffin are you three?"
"Look we don't want any trouble" Hekapoo said, Saturn chuckling slowly, before laughing
"...Hard way it is," Saturn said, turning into his crimson moth form, Hekapoo multiplying into multiple versions of herself, Rhombulus crystalizing wildly, crystalizing Marco by the feet and Twilight's right wing, Saturn reaching out an arm "Meseeks summon!" about thirty bald blue men with stubby arms and two fingers on each hand surrounded hekapoo, two around each
"Mr. Meseeks, restrain Hekapoo and blow out her flames" Saturn said
"Can do!" the meeseeks said, restaining the Hekapi and blowing out their flames, making all but one of them disappear, Rhombulus still trying to crystalize, Saturn rushing behind him and putting him in a headlock, shooting eye lasers at Omnitraxus who fell unconscious, Hekapoo and Rhombulus restrained "If you come back, all three of you will have gravestones, I promise you that, what you did to me, my family, MY DAUGHTER? TO MY GRAND-DAUGHTER?! I HATE YOU!" he spat "I WILL MAKE SURE THAT YOU DIE AS PAINFULLY AS POSSIBLE! YOU ASSISTED THAT NAZI SOLARIA! YOU CRYSTALIZED MY PARENTS….YOU MADE ME!" He screamed, a beam of swirling purple energy with a black aura and light purple lightning wrapping around it rushed through Saturn's eyes and mouth, piercing Rhombulus's crystal, the rock man falling. Glim covering Festivia and Luster's eyes. The energy piercing through Omnitraxius as well before stopping, The Meseeks disappearing, Hekapoo dropping to the ground
"Use your hate, it will guide you, if I cannot have your soul, I will have you as…MY APPRENTICE!" The Undertaker's voice boomed in Saturn's head
"...what-what have I, no, damnit, NO!" Saturn screamed, dropping to his knees, tears running down his cheeks as he reverted to his normal form, unconscious, Festivia's eyes uncovered
"DAD!" She shouted, running up to Saturn
"Dad?" Hekapoo asked "Festivia?!"
"...Who are you?" Festivia asked
"I-I'm your aunt hekapoo" she replied, Festivia backing up in fear
"Welcome to Crisis" Glossaryck said, appearing on Star's shoulder "So should I bring them back or bury them in the backyard?"
"OK WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK IS GOING ON?!" Glim shouted
HOLY SHIT! ANOTHER CHAPTER? THIS CLOSE TOO? IT'S ALMOST LIKE I'M GONNA HAVE TO LEAVE AND DO SOMETHING. REMEMBER TO READ, REVIEW, SHARE, FAVORITE AND FOLLOW! I'LL TALK TO YOU GUYS LATER!