Chapter 3

Steve didn't sleep the rest of the night, but for once he didn't care. There were so many things to research, so many plans to make. Excitement permeated every cell in his body, and it was all he could do not to telegraph it to everyone in the house when they began to wake up. They were all sitting there eating breakfast when a distant roar let them know that a Quinjet was arriving on the property.

Steve strode out to meet the new arrival. It turned out to be Bucky, who emerged from the Quinjet with a large round leather case tucked under his arm.

"I brought something for you," Bucky said, holding out the case toward Steve. "Three guesses what's inside, and the first two don't count."

Steve took the case and opened it up. Inside was his shield, shiny and perfect, freshly painted with the old familiar design. Steve ran his hand over the bright star in the center and smiled a little.

"I found most of the pieces on the battlefield," Bucky said. "Shuri herself reforged it for you. She wanted to add a bunch of bells and whistles to it, but I think I managed to convince her to keep it simple. A simple shield for a simple guy." He clapped Steve's shoulder. "Right?"

"Thanks, Bucky." Steve felt a pulse of regret, and his smile faded. He would never use this shield. He wouldn't need it, where he was going.

Bucky scrutinized him carefully and said, "You're really gonna do it, aren't you?"

Steve glanced up at him. "Do what?"

"Were you even planning to say goodbye? I mean, I know how much you hate having people make a fuss over you, but come on."

Steve tucked the shield back into its case and sealed it shut. "You do realize I'll only be gone for 5 seconds, right? From your perspective."

"Don't give me that. I know what you're thinking. It was the first thing I thought, when I got undusted and everyone told me they built a time machine while I was gone."

Steve didn't say anything.

"And besides," Bucky continued, "I think it's a pretty crazy coincidence that that guy you were asking about last night - Grant Edward Buchanan? - had your middle name for a first name, and my middle name for a last name."

"Every other kid in America was named after a president in those days," Steve said.

Bucky ignored this and kept going. "The Edward part had me stumped, I admit, but I just now noticed that big memorial over there." He pointed behind Steve. "'Sacred to the memory of Anthony Edward Stark.' Interesting, don't you think?"

"Bucky..."

"Let's talk," Bucky said, suddenly serious. "Somewhere private."

"Wow," Bucky said. "Wow."

Steve stopped rowing and they glided to a stop in the middle of the lake, waves rippling away from them in an ever-widening circle.

"Wow," Steve agreed.

"And Friday confirmed it?"

"I was definitely there," Steve said.

Bucky shook his head in amazement. "You really did it. You married Peggy."

"I'm going to marry her," Steve corrected.

"You had kids with her."

"I'm going to have-" Steve paused, feeling suddenly overwhelmed. "Holy cow, you're right. I'm going to be a father."

Bucky laughed shortly, looking at him in wonderment. "You jerk. You're gonna go live your whole life without us."

"You could come with me, you know."

"Nah," Bucky said. "Unlike you, I don't have a dish waiting for me there. And besides, I'm kind of used to things here now. You do remember, don't you, that they didn't have air conditioning in 1945?"

"I remember," Steve said.

"And the food was lousy."

"I know."

"No internet."

"They'll invent it again," Steve said.

"Are you going to tell the others?" Bucky asked.

Steve shrugged a little. "I don't want them making a fuss. And besides, everyone is already dealing with Tony, and Nat... they don't need to deal with me leaving, too."

"Except when you don't come back, they're going to figure it out. For all you know, they already suspect. I did."

"Maybe I will be able to come back by then."

Bucky squinted at him. "What? How so?"

"If I'm still around by 2023, I'll come back and explain. It will be like I never left."

Bucky stared at him. "Except you'll be a doddering old man, if you're even still alive. That would make you... what? More than a hundred years old?"

"I'm not sure you and I are going to age like normal people," Steve said. "Look at me. I'm turning 40 next year. I don't look it, or feel it. Do you?"

"I know, but you can't guarantee that," Bucky objected. "Wait a minute. Wait a minute. If you looked up his records... your records..." He paused for a long time, suddenly uncertain. "Didn't it say when you died?"

"Supposedly I died in 2015, about a year before Peggy," Steve said. Bucky looked shocked, but before he could say anything, Steve pressed on: "But it might not have been true. All my other documents were fictions. I may have faked my own death, too."

"What on Earth for?"

"It would have solved certain problems," Steve said. "Like the fact that I was living longer than a human should. And I don't think I'm going to be able to go to Peggy's funeral again. I'm going to be there. The other me, I mean. I can't see me there, it would ruin everything."

Bucky was looking a lot more upset than Steve had expected him to be. "You don't know any of that," he said. "You're only guessing. We're not immortal. You might not be able to come back at all."

"Well, if I can't, then I'll send one of my kids or something," Steve said. "I'll send word somehow. I'll make sure I say my goodbyes to everyone, one way or another."

They sat in silence for a while.

"How many kids?" Bucky asked suddenly.

"I don't know. At least two." In response to Bucky's puzzled look, Steve explained: "I didn't look up my kids' lives. I don't even know their names; I just saw that one photo."

"What's the matter, you run out of curiosity?"

"It's bad enough that I already know how history's going to go," Steve said. "I'd like to preserve some sense of mystery in my personal life, at least."

"I guess." Bucky leaned his arm on the side of the boat. "Steve," he said, shaking his head. "I know you have to go, and I'm really, really happy for you. But I hate to see you go, too."

"I know," Steve said quietly. "I'll be sorry to leave."

"It isn't that I can't do without you," Bucky said, trying to smile, "it's that I don't know if the world can survive without Captain America."

"Maybe it doesn't have to," Steve said. "I'll be leaving my shield. Someone else could use it."

Bucky returned his meaningful gaze unsmilingly. "Don't look at me."

"I trust you."

Bucky sighed and stared moodily at the water. "I don't."

"You should."

Bucky shook his head. "I'm not even American. I haven't been since the day I fell into the ravine. I was a Soviet, I was Hydra, and now it's Wakanda that's home. How could I be Captain America?"

"Well, what could be more American than immigrating from another country?"

"Don't joke. That isn't even really it. Steve, I'm... I'm broken."

"Don't say that, Bucky."

"Well, it's true. I'm better than I was, but the truth is... I'm not like you, Steve. I'm not a leader. You... you always did the right things for the right reasons. Even before you were Captain America. I could never be so... pure. The shield wouldn't hang on me right."

"Someday, it might."

Bucky leaned forward and took the oars from Steve. "Come on. If you're going to leave, then we're going to make this a day to remember."

As the day wore on, they began to gather together at the lake house, everyone who was left. Wanda, Bruce, Sam, Bucky, Pepper and Steve. Bucky didn't let on to anyone else what was happening, but he made sure that everything was to Steve's liking. It wasn't exactly a party, but everyone was quietly grateful for the lives that they'd saved, and it was good to be together with them one last time. That night, as they were sitting around the dinner table, Scott Lang arrived with the Pym Particles. He couldn't stay long, but before he left Steve made sure to pull him aside and thank him for kick-starting the time heist and assisting with the battle.

"The honor was mine, Captain America," Scott said with feeling, shaking his hand too vigorously and too long. "Gosh, I never thought I'd get to be a teammate to one of my own personal heroes."

"You can call me Steve," Steve said. "I consider you a friend, not just a teammate."

Scott was speechless for a moment. "Wow," he said. "Wow. Hey, does that mean you'll autograph this?" He unbuttoned his jacket to reveal his T-shirt, adorned with an image of Captain America's shield. "It isn't really for me," he added quickly. "My daughter, you know, she's a... a big fan."

After Steve had signed the shirt and seen Scott off, he found Sam standing on the porch, holding two drinks. He held one out to Steve, and together they stood by the railing and looked out at the scenery.

"So what are your plans now?" Steve asked.

Sam shrugged. "I figure it's only a matter of time before some other idiot tries to take over the world or something. And we don't have a headquarters anymore. I've been thinking. Every time Stark built a big, nice central location for us, it got attacked by someone. I had this idea that maybe we should establish multiple bases, all around the world. Something low-profile that doesn't scream, 'I'm a target, come and challenge me.' We could move around as needed, depending on the needs of the mission."

Steve nodded approvingly. "That's a great idea. Where did you have in mind?"

"I've got a few ideas. I wanted to see what you thought."

"It's your idea," Steve said, "it's your project."

Sam seemed a little surprised, but he accepted it. "I'll get up a plan. That jerk with the metal arm said he'd help, so..." Sam shrugged again.

"You and Bucky work well together," Steve said. "I'm glad to see it."

"Yeah, well, don't get ahead of yourself. I still haven't forgiven him for ripping the steering wheel out of my car," Sam said. He glanced back through the screen door and saw Bucky standing in the kitchen, talking to Bruce. "Hey, Bucky!" Sam called out. "You hear that? You still owe me a new car!"

"I don't have any money," Bucky shot back petulantly.

"Man, don't give me that. You live on top of a vibranium mine!" Sam gestured meaningfully. "Get me one of those cars like Shuri builds. That'll just about do it."

"Dream on, winged freak." Bucky turned away dismissively.

Sam grinned broadly, looked back over at Steve, and held out his glass.

"To the next adventure," Sam said.

Steve smiled knowingly, and tapped their glasses together. "To the next adventure."

They agreed to send Steve off first thing in the morning to return the Stones. As the sun went down and everyone began to disperse for the night, Steve slipped out the door and headed down the path alone. There was one more person to say goodbye to.

Pepper was already standing at the memorial when Steve came around a bend in the path. He stopped, not wanting to disturb her, but Pepper saw him and quickly called out.

"Steve, don't go," she said. "I wouldn't mind company."

He joined her under the pavilion, and they both turned to face Tony's memorial. For a few minutes they stood there with their own thoughts, the only sound the chirping of the crickets in the underbrush.

"I'm gonna miss him," Steve said at last.

"He missed you, too," Pepper said, "those years you were in hiding."

"He was furious with me," Steve said.

"Yes," Pepper agreed readily. "And with himself. But that phone you sent him... he carried it around with him everywhere he went. He just... couldn't make the call."

"I feel like we talked past each other a lot," Steve said slowly. "We grew up so differently. I don't just mean generationally. I was raised by a widowed mother. We never had much. Whenever I wore holes in the soles of my shoes, I had to put newspapers in the bottom to try to make it last longer. And Tony... when Coulson first told me who he was and what he did, I figured he was one of those guys who had had everything handed to him in life."

He shook his head. "But I was wrong. His life was no easier than anyone else's. It took me a long time, too long, to realize that Tony worked harder than anyone I've ever seen. He earned everything he had. And he was more generous with his money than anyone I've ever met. I didn't give him enough credit for that."

Pepper nodded slowly. "I understand. But you shouldn't feel bad about it, Steve. I think Tony misjudged you too, before he'd ever even met you. He'd grown up listening to his dad constantly talking about how wonderful you were - of all his projects, the project he was proudest of - and Howard didn't ever say much about Tony himself. I think it was a hard pill for him to swallow, feeling like he was expected to compete with Captain America, someone who was a... a..."

"A fiction," Steve said matter-of-factly. "A propaganda tool."

"It was bad enough when you were that," Pepper said. "But then you came back to life. And everyone at S.H.I.E.L.D., everyone on the Avengers team, they instantly loved you and followed you. Because you weren't propaganda, you were the real thing. You were exactly what your reputation suggested. He didn't expect that, and..." She reached out and squeezed Steve's hand. "Tony never admitted it, not even to me, but even he couldn't help but look up to you. He trusted you, maybe even more than he trusted himself. That's why he got so crazy when the two of you disagreed on things. It made him doubt himself."

"I never intended that."

"I know." Pepper sighed. "I fought with him all the time, too, you know. He admitted himself that he was a handful. But he wouldn't have wasted his time scuffling with us if he hadn't cared about us."

"He was... one-of-a-kind," Steve said. "Pepper, I'm so sorry."

"I'll survive," she said, although her eyes were as moist as his. "Life goes on, whether we're ready for it or not. He did what he wanted. He saved everyone. He saved me."

She was his Peggy, Steve realized, watching Pepper as she rested her palms and her forehead on the cool granite of the memorial. That's what it was all along. Tony's obsession with perfecting his armor, his desperate efforts to create Ultron, to build a suit of armor around the world... as misguided as his actions sometimes were, Tony was just trying to save his Peggy, and everyone else's, too.

I should have told him about her.

After a while, Pepper told him good night and slowly walked back to the house. Steve stood there, motionless. It was too late to have this conversation with Tony. Or, maybe it wasn't. Steve ran his eyes over the graven words on the memorial and knew he had to try.

"Tony-"

It was surprisingly easy, like a rubber band snapping inside his chest. Suddenly everything came out in a rush.

"I used to think you thought too much of yourself, and not enough of others," Steve said. "But you changed. You proved me wrong. And even when you quit the Avengers... for the last few years you lived the kind of life I always wanted for myself. I don't think you were selfish. You became a 'we' instead of a 'me,' you and Pepper and Morgan. It was good for you, and for them. It was a different way of saving the world."

Steve reached down into his pocket and pulled out his compass. Opening the lid, he showed the photo inside to Tony. "This is Peggy. She was..." He cleared his throat. "She was my Pepper. You remember that day at Clint's place, when we were chopping wood? You said you wanted to end the team, so we could all go home. And I was furious with you, because I didn't have any home to go to. The Avengers were all I had. You didn't know that. You didn't know because I didn't tell you. You've always worn your heart on your sleeve, and I just... I don't like talking about myself. I couldn't talk about Peggy. It hurt too much. I wish I had told you. I think you would have understood better than I thought." He swallowed painfully. "I'm gonna miss you, Tony. I'm sorry... about everything. And thank you... for everything."

TO BE CONTINUED

Reviews welcome! Let me know what you think.