Waking Up
Chapter 5
He stirred hot, stiff and aching.
He didn't like it.
The small bed that they had shared last night had made it one of his most uncomfortable nights sleep in a very long time.
The mattress they had shared was standard, thin, and he felt every spring in it. It was intentionally too narrow for two people, so he had inevitably woken up to Molly's body half lying on top of him. He sighed loudly.
He regretted it. Regretted the uncomfortable night they had spent when he should have offered her more. When he should have offered her comfort on her first night back. Yet he hadn't. She hadn't wanted that and she had insisted on them going back to her room at barracks. Simple, just them, that was how she had wanted their first night together after three long months apart to be.
Now lay there, uncomfortable, running through all the 'what ifs' and 'what could have' beens. He even thought that the bed he had in his room, although equally as lumpy and thin, was at least was wider and would have held both of their bodies more comfortably than hers. As his foot cramped up slightly again he once again regretted not putting more effort into planning their first night together.
He was woken by the loud banging of doors, laughing and shouted conversations in the corridor. A sure sign that the rest of the block, that Molly shared with, were waking up too. He had forgotten just what it was like to live in such a multi occupancy environment.
True his new quarters at barracks were also shared; but there was a bit more space between him and his neighbours. Besides there was also a little bit more respect, and a little bit more maturity, and not to mention the all important en-suite bathroom too. The lack of one in Molly's room was not something he had factor into his overnight stay.
Charles had been surprised when he had first been introduced to her room. He had watched with interest as she shyly opened the door to let him in. Almost scared of what he'd think of her world and everything in it. He smiled at her reassuringly, and moved to follow her in as she stood nervously awaiting his judgement. He said nothing, just smiled. He knew that the rooms were small. He remember them from his starting days, but for some reason he'd forgotten that they had to share a bathroom too. That in circumstances such as these, where one had to sneak embarrassingly down the corridor to dispose of the products of their love making, it made him even more uncomfortable. The ultimate walk of shame he remembered well. Praying and hoping at every step of the way you didn't meet another resident, who could blow the entire mission. It was something he thought he had left behind many years ago.
He'd been lucky though. No one had seen him arrive and no one had seen him use the bathroom. Each trip had been successful in keeping his presence unknown. He hoped it would stay that way.
Slowly Molly started to wake up, the noise drawing her out of her slumber. Watching her body stir pleased him. He wanted to see her, talk to her, be with her. Yet more than anything he was uncomfortable and desperately needed the toilet. He was thirsty, and knew he very much needed to brush his teeth, and then search out a vital coffee too.
He'd not just woken up stiff, he'd woken up with a headache and his leg was throbbing too . He knew he needed some painkillers and he knew he needed a stretch. He let out a small frustrated groan.
"Morning." She smiled at him as her head rested on his chest. Big green sleepy eyes blinking at him and looking unsure.
He instantly regretted all of the thoughts that had been running through his head. The last thing he wanted was for her to feel unsure. He wanted her to feel safe, he wanted her to feel happy he was there.
"Morning." He moved his body so he could place a kiss on her lips and smiled into it as she made happy almost purring type noises at his touch.
He was about to continue. Deepen the kiss. Morning breath be dammed. He was about to give her a very happy good morning kiss, but the banging on the door interrupted him.
"Dawes? Are you awake?" Somebody shouted in to the locked door.
Both of them stilled.
Molly's eyes widened in surprise but said nothing.
"Was wondering if you wanted to come to the canteen for some breakfast? Heard you were back last night."
Molly bit her lip and she wondered what to say, but before she could another voice came past and seemed closer to her door. Another of her colleagues spoke to the person who had hammered on the door.
"Reckon you're wasting your time there. With Dawes, that is. Heard her come in last night. And a bit more." The voice stopped and it continued with a giggle and annoying cough. "I reckon whoever she came back with last night definitely had his finger on her trigger…..if you know what I mean." Then the narrator of last night's events cackled coarsely, and then was gone.
There was a murmur of ascent in the corridor from a few others who had paused to converse, and equally loud laughter erupted through the group as the gossiping girl in the corridor continued.
"Reckon she won't be joining us for breakfast. She needs her sleep I reckon after what I heard. Plus, she may not be able to walk." Was the topic of conversation that reach Molly and Charles' ears.
And with that the gaggle of girls that had congregated outside of Molly's bedroom door moved off down the corridor laughing.
"Sorry," She said quietly as she watched him slide from underneath her and sit on the edge of the bed, running his hand on the back of his neck. Trying to work out the knots. She made no movements. Afraid and frightened that he would be unhappy about what had happened. She wasn't thrilled, but for her it was just part of the banter she expected living in.
He dipped his head low and placed his hands on his knees. Trying not to rub his bad leg too much, unwilling to draw attention to the throb he felt in it.
"What are you apologising for Molly?" Turning to look at her. Surprised at the traces of self-doubt he saw on her face.
"Well, you know...what they said and that." She moved to sit up too and pulled the duvet tightly around her.
He said nothing. She stayed still. She watched as he shrugged into his boxer shorts that had been abandoned on the bedroom floor.
"Bit embarrassing wasn't it?" She continued. Desperate to hear his feelings on it all. "I mean not what you're used to and that!" Then when he still didn't speak she added quietly. "They are just kids; having fun!"
As he stood he watched her and again saw the uncertainty on her face, and yet again what he saw pulled on his heart strings, knowing he didn't want her to feel that way.
She was right though, he admitted that to himself; it had been embarrassing. He briefly, once again, had wondered what he was doing with this beautiful girl who was only in her early 20s; her whole life before her, while he was coming towards the end of his youth, divorced and with a son. The moments he allowed himself to think like that though he knew he felt doomed about the relationship with Molly.
Yet at the same when he saw how sad she felt, and how she had spoken to him, he knew he no longer had a conscious say in the matter. He loved her. Regardless of the situation. Regardless of the age difference. Regardless of the trajectory of their careers.
He was in love with Molly Dawes.
He needed therefore to ensure she never doubted that. Doubted him. Doubted them. He sat down next to her and leaned his head forward and kissed her, stroking her hair and smiling at her.
"A bit." He admitted. "So, I reckon next time you're just going to have to try and be a little quieter." He joked.
Instantly her eyes lit up and she smiled. Pulling her arms around his neck and pulling him towards her.
"You're a bit sure of yourself!" She asked. "Next time?"
"You bloody know there will be." He traced his nose up hers as he pulled her tight and close. He felt her shift onto his lap, and allowed her to settle there for a moment or two. Both enjoying the peace and tranquillity that had fallen upon them.
After a while her weight pressed onto his leg, and he moved slightly. And then he turned and looked towards the door making his intentions clear. She saw the half hidden wince and moved gently off him, noticing though with a cheeky smile the very evident semi her proximity to him had produced. He grinned back, and she saw how his eyes sparkled back at her too. Shifting with a degree of uncomfortableness he pulled on his T-shirt and his jeans, dipping his head toward the door and now quiet corridor, motioning his intent on using the facilities while the coast was clear.
Suddenly as he left the room she realised, with a burst of happiness, all was well in their world once again, and she was so very much in love too.
"Sorry." She said quietly.
They hadn't spoken for a while. Charles' concentrating on the wet and dark road ahead, while Molly had just sat wondering again why she was doing this.
She had watched him roll his neck for the hundredth time, in an attempt to help with the crick, she knew he'd have. He had dark circles under his eyes, and a heavy nights growth of stubble on his face. He looked tired, and she knew it was her fault.
He turned to her and squeezed his eyes in questioning bemusement.
"Sorry?" He asked. "What for?" Focusing again on the road as a gust of wind rocked the car.
"Your neck? Your leg." She replied. "I know last night was uncomfortable for you. Sorry."
He reached over and grabbed her hand from her knee. Giving it a good squeeze. He briefly looked at her.
"I don't regret it you know." He smiled. "Spending the night... but yes was a bit...snug."
"Your neck hurts... and your leg." She said almost tearfully. She had watched him secretly that morning, as she had packed, walking around her room trying to easy the discomfort in his leg. "I'm sorry."
"You say sorry a lot don't you?" He chuckled bringing her hand to his lips for a kiss.
"Sorry." She looked sadly at him. "Just force of habit I guess. Sorry."
He said no more as they pulled into the train station car park. They had spent most of the day together, and now as planned he was dropping her off so she could journey home to see her family.
He spoke no more until the car was totally stopped and he had unclipped his seat belt. He then turned himself to face her. She followed turning in her seat too.
"Stop. Saying. Sorry Dawes." He grinned softly. Staring intently into her eyes. "Last night. Yes; was uncomfortable. But I wouldn't have wanted it any other way. It was perfect." He let out a grateful chuckle. "I got to spend it with you."
She smiled at his kind words. And gently ran a finger over his stubble.
"You need a shave mate." She said playfully. "And a coffee." Knowing he'd been disappointed that she hadn't any in her room to make him one. Something she knew she'd change from there on in.
He nodded his head and moved so he could pull her in for a cuddle.
"Might make you right." He said sadly. "Going to miss you."
She caught his tone and she pulled her head away to look at him. Doubt lingered on his face.
"You will come back to me?" He asked her.
She nodded.
"A few days Charles. That's all. See the folks. Then I'll come back. Promise."
He accepted her words. "Going to miss you." He sighed again into her lips just before he kissed her goodbye.
"Yeah me too." She gave one last watery grin and kissed him back before she turned and headed out of the car. "Bye."
He watched her walk away. Confidently hunting out the timetable board with her train details on. Focused on her task. Her small body once again amazing him as it managed the large over sized bag she carried. He was so sad to see her go but understood. And her promise of it being for just a few days made it a little bit bearable.
Once she had turned and gave him that final wave, he moved the car out and drove back to his barracks. He had plans to make. Plan to make so he could spend more time soon with Molly.
"Oh my God I am so sorry." He dipped his head and moved away from her. "Shit sorry." Staying close but relieving the weight of his body from hers. Not wanting to crush her.
He was mortified. Unsure how to go on. This wasn't him. This wasn't him and Molly. She deserved better.
"Did you even...?" He asked as he lifted his head slightly to look at her face but still avoided total eye contact. His breath was still short, and he felt happily drained, yet still he needed to know. "At all...?"
She merely shrugged. Unsure what to say or do. She knew he felt bad, but didn't hold it against him. It was naturally just one of those things.
It had just been too much, the days apart; her at her parent's house, him alone in his room. Just waiting to be with her again. He had missed her so much. A day and a whole night she had spent with her family before she had called him. It didn't seem too long, but it was too long in reality for both of them, and so she had called him.
Called him one night late and upset.
The memories and proximity of Smurf's death had been playing on her mind. She said he was the only one she could talk to. Wanted to talk to. So, he suggested that he meet her. That they book a hotel room halfway between him and her; so he could be there for her.
Happily, and quickly, she had agreed and arrived as soon as she could. The moment he opened the hotel room door to her, the moment he saw her standing there beaming at him, he lost control. Pulled towards her and he held her.
"Miss me?" She had giggled against his almost over bearing attention. Their standard phrase between them now rang out with an utter truth. Murmuring his answer he didn't release his tight hold on her, nor hers on him, and neither one of them cared as they both had.
She willing participated in the kissing, the undressing and the devouring. The blissful and frantic re discovery of each other's bodies. Her moans and not so gentle touches spurring him on and on. Driving him to a point where control was lost.
It wasn't his proudest moment. It wasn't a perfect exercise in gentlemanly behaviour, but her absence from him and her response to him drove him oh so quickly towards his finishing line. But sadly, not to Molly's.
Molly smiled at his concern and embarrassment. "No... I didn't….but it don't matter... it's not like I will every time." She said kindly. "Don't worry though I still enjoyed it. It was nice."
"NICE! Oh, fucking hell Molly!" He rolled away from her and pulled the hotel sheet over their naked bodies. His lean body sweatier and more used than hers. His one man performance had produced that. "Nice. Shit. Nice!"
Molly giggled and rolled onto her side. Looking at him. Hair all messed up, the curls springing free from their usual control.
"What's the matter with nice?" She asked.
He turned his head and wiped some smudged mascara from underneath her eyes gently.
"I wasn't exactly going for nice. I'm was kind of wanting to go with wild passion. Ecstasy. Explosions. Not nice." He huffed out.
"Nice is good too though." She smiled back. "Never had that before... nice."
He pulled her onto his chest. "You ok?" He asked. "I mean not just cause I've just been do bloody selfish. I mean about Smurf, your parents... everything."
"I wasn't." She admitted and drew in a huge breath. "But then..." She stopped slightly embarrassed.
"What!" He kissed the top of her head as he played with their hands held mid-air above their bodies.
"Well. I wasn't until... well until I saw you." She chewed briefly in her lip. "Does that make me soft?" She asked concerned.
He squeezed her tightly with his free arm. "No. Means you love me." He replied simply.
"Yeah. I do." She pulled herself up and now she rested with her arms crossed on his chest, looking up at him. "And I don't care if I don't have fireworks every time you know. That you get their first. That I don't. I don't care."
She grinned as he closed his eyes and shook his head in shame.
She stroked a finger along his cheek. "I don't care." She said quietly. "Cause that, what we just did. Us being here. Us. We made love and that was just as about perfect as I could ever want."
She moved up and kissed him. He held her, and as she moved to totally cover him, she felt his ardour for her grow between his legs. It felt hard, and firm between them, and it felt so good.
"I don't know what I did to get so fucking lucky Molly but know this I bloody love you." He whispered between their passionate kisses.
"Ditto." She offered back.
He snapped away from her. "Ditto." He replied. "Is that all you've got to say to my declaration of love woman." It sounded harsh but there was laughter in his voice. He shifted his body. Moving to a position of control.
"Yeah bleeding ditto." She mumbled back. Finding it difficult to string a whole sentence together as he moved down her body kissing each inch of it as he went.
He teased her as he dipped and sipped across all of her skin. Enjoying how she writhed and twisted under his administrations. Happy that he had gained the appropriate semblance of control, and happy that this time he would do the gentlemanly thing.
That this time he definitely would ensure that ladies definitely did come first.