Himawari hadn't known what to expect before arriving for her first tutoring session with Kobe-san, but stripping hadn't been anywhere near the top of her guesses.
She had barely thanked Kobe-san again for the invitation before the young woman had burst into a fretting fit over the grass stains on Himawari's uniform, and before Himawari knew what was happening she found herself being shunted into the bathroom with a clean change of Kobe-san's clothes and a stern request for her uniform, that it could be thrown into the wash. From there, the two had started with a simple test to see Himawari's current skill level: a pluot meringue tart.
"A...pl...uh...?" Himawari stammers, the fluffy-puffy pink sweatshirt Kobe-san had lent to her crackling with static as she raises her hands in front of her mouth. "I...I'm not sure I know what that even is, Kobe-sa...Kobe-sensei."
"Mmm, well, when a plum and an apricot love each other very much...pluot!" She grins and holds a pluot on either side of her head like hair buns. Ah...Himawari thinks to herself, Akari's first appearance.
"Oh, I see, but I'm not sure about the entire rest of the recipe. Are you sure it isn't too advanced for a first test?" Himawari starts reflecting on her baking experience, trying to calculate her odds of success.
I think I know what it would be like, but I can't just whip one up without a recipe...if it's a test, does that mean I have to do it from memory, or will she provide me with the recipe and test how well I can do it? And what if what I think of as a 'tart' is some laughable, childish shadow of the real thing, the 'tart' she, as a professional, is used to, and-
"It sounds fancy, but the core elements are pretty basic once we break it down. Besides," Kobe-san shakes a pluot in one hand like a maraca while she starts placing the rest in a bowl to rinse off, "these are fresh! Fresh ingredients can really make a dish shine, especially in baking, where most of the ingredients are made to last. A little fresh-fruit topper makes the flavor really pop!" She giddily bounces over to the sink, and Himawari is again reminded of Sakurako for a second before shaking the thought away. No...Kobe-san is nothing like Sakurako. They're both energetic, sure, but Sakurako probably couldn't even pronounce 'pluot,' much less be able to bake anything with them. The pluots rinsed off, Kobe-san turns back to Himawari.
"Alright Furutani-kun, I'll start slicing these. Go ahead and wash up and I'll have you start on the crust, ok?" Kobe-san grins at Himawari as Himawari steps up to the sink.
"Ok, I'll do my best!" Himawari raises a fist to the side of her face and gives it a tiny pump in excitement.
The two begin, with Himawari starting on mixing the ingredients for the crust while Kobe-san slices the pluots into thin slices. The two work in happy silence, broken only by brief instructions and clever little tips from Kobe-san. After a few minutes, the two find themselves smiling serenely, the now-instinctual patience and care learned from their baking experience taking hold and sending them into a calm, meditative peace.
After mixing the ingredients for a bit and flattening the mixture into a disc, Himawari wraps the disc in plastic wrap and slips it into the refrigerator to chill. Meanwhile, Kobe-san places the thinly-sliced pluot slices into a bowl of lemon juice and sugar before retrieving a carton of eggs from the refrigerator and setting it down by a few unmarked paper sacks covered in a thin dusting of flour. The two then begin working on the almond-flour meringue that will serve as the tart's filling, and after a few minutes of Himawari beating and whisking, the meringue too is successfully prepped.
With the fruit and meringue ready and waiting in the fridge, the two wait for the crust to finish chilling. Himawari looks around the room while Kobe-san sits on the couch, the latter's long-sleeved white blouse and canary-yellow apron clashing with the black fabric of the couch cushions. As Himawari glances about, she's struck by the dramatic contrast between the stuff-stocked, lived-in kitchen and the nearly naked living room that adjoins it.
Himawari turns to Kobe-san, who is sitting with her head hanging off the back of the couch, face turned towards the ceiling and eyes shut, an odd, broken smile playing across her lips. Himawari takes a quiet step further into the living room, glancing around to see if she had missed anything. No television, no computer, no books or board games, no furniture besides the couch, and not a single decoration... She looks back at Kobe-san, who has lifted her head and is looking at Himawari quizzically, her left hand patting the couch cushion next to her.
"Wanna sit, Himawari-kun?" Kobe-san asks.
"S...sure," Himawari replies, sitting a bit over halfway across the couch cushion next to the one Kobe-san is sitting on. "Um...Kobe-sensei? I was wonderi-" she starts but is cut off by Kobe-san's giggling.
"S-sorry, Himawari-kun, it's just...I'm still not used to being called 'sensei,' is all," Kobe-san grins wide at Himawari, who clenches her fists on her lap.
"Oh! I...I'm sorry, was there some other way I should address you? I thought that, since you were tutoring me..." Himawari apologizes, but feels a sting of defensiveness rise in her.
"No no, it's fine, it's probably the right honorific. I teach my employees fairly often as well, naturally, but they call me 'Kobe-sama,' though I think maybe they're just teasing me," she giggles again and leans over towards Himawari, placing a hand down where the couch cushions meet to support herself. "Kobe-sensei is fine, or Kobe-san. For now, at least."
"Um...ok. I think I'll stick with Kobe-sensei. For...now..." Himawari inches away instinctually, trying not to focus too much on Kobe-san's half-lidded gaze and wide smile. As if sensing her discomfort, Kobe-san closes her eyes and shortens her smile, leaning away and looking back to the ceiling. Himawari looks the other way and around the room, wondering how much time was left until the crust finished cooling. She's very generous to have agreed to teach me...but I guess when I really think about it, we're basically complete strangers.
She looks back towards Kobe-san, who has lowered her head from the top of the couch cushion and is resting it on her hand, which sits in a soft fist, like a closed tulip, against her collarbone.
"Kobe-sensei? I was wondering," Himawari starts again, "when you're not cooking or baking, what, um," she pauses, wondering how best to word the uneasy curiosity winding through her, before giving it her best shot. "What sorts of hobbies do you have?"
"Eh? Well, if you take out cooking and baking..." Kobe-san furrows her brow in deep thought, her eyes on the carpet in front of the couch, her chin now resting on her index finger. "I guess... daydreaming? Or maybe 'remembering' is more accurate." She smiles at Himawari, who is desperately trying to keep her face neutral. "I actually spend a lot of time coming up with recipes I want to try out, or researching them on my phone, and then trying it all out in the kitchen. If it turns out well, I start figuring out how I want to teach it to my employees."
"Ah...that make sense. I'm sorry, I uh..." Himawari looks around the desolate apartment again.
"Heh, I understand. It does look a little plain, huh? I guess since I don't really need anything else, and since I never have people over, it didn't occur to me before." Kobe-san looks around the apartment as well, her smile fading a bit. "I suppose it couldn't hurt to decorate a little..."
"It's not a problem, really!" Himawari's hands clutch at her borrowed sweatpants. "Really, please forget I said anything."
"Mmmmm, no, I don't think I shall," Kobe-san smirks at Himawari and stands up, hopping playfully across the living room. "After all, if I end up with some amazing decorations, I don't wanna forget who to thank for the idea!" She turns and winks at Himawari, who feels a sudden heat in her cheeks. "Oh, actually, there was something I had wanted to ask you as well, Himawari-kun." Kobe-san puts her hands behind her back and leans forwards from across the room.
"Um, yes? I'll answer what I can," Himawari replies.
"So, who are you going to share your treats with?" Kobe-san asks, straightening up and walking back to the couch, taking a seat a bit further from Himawari and closer to the armrest. "I'll have a taste of the ones we make together, of course, just to see how things are going, but you're free to take the leftovers with you when you go. In fact, I insist!" She raises a finger to the sky.
"Really? Huh...," Himawari wonders for a second, but the answer comes naturally enough. "Well, first I'll take some home and share with my sister."
"Oh, you have a sister?" Kobe-san lights up and leans the tiniest bit closer to Himawari. "Older? Younger? What's she like?"
"Younger, she's six years-old right now so we're seven years apart," Himawari beams, thoughts of her sister bringing a genuine calm to her heart. "She's a perfect little sister, very sweet and polite, and already very generous and kind." Himawari looks over at Kobe-san, who is gazing back in wide-eyed wonder.
"Oh, that sounds lovely!"
"She is, really. Well, since she's very tiny, and since I try not to overeat...and also since I tend to make more than we can eat on purpose whenever I make treats... well, I often have leftovers..." as Himawari speaks, she remembers denying to Ayano the thought that she brought treats to school in order to garner praise. I don't...do I? "Um...I bring those leftover treats to school to share with my classmates."
Himawari's eyes widen a bit as she remembers Ayano's words: 'I've always thought you were very skilled...' She remembers her classmates' exclamations over how good her treats were.
They really do like the things I make...I guess I really do get a lot of appreciation.
She looks down again, her brow furrowing.
Am...am I just being selfish?
What more do I want, really?
"That one girl, the one you were at the shop with," Kobe-san says in a lilting voice, and Himawari's whole body tenses, sudden aches reverberating through her. "Is she one of your classmates?"
"Eh, yes, she's in my class," Himawari admits, unsmiling.
"Come to think of it, she was the same one who was with you when we first met outside, when I... hmmmm... when I did to the bags what you did to yourself on that hill." Kobe-san giggles as Himawari flinches with a grimace. "I'm sorry! Fufufu, I'm just glad you weren't hurt. But you two seem like close friends." Kobe-san gazes at Himawari, who meets her gaze for a second before looking away towards the blank living-room wall in front of the couch.
"Well...we've certainly known each other a long time. And we've been around each other a lot... also for a long time." Himawari's eyes take on an angry glint. "We're in the same class in school. That's all." To her side, Kobe-san's smile fades for a moment before coming back partway in a thin, uneven line.
"Ah...well, I think perhaps the crust might be cooled. Shall we check, Himawari-kun?" She bounces up and away before Himawari can take too close a look at her face. Himawari stands and follows her, genuinely excited about continuing with the tart.
Inside her, Himawari feels a pulsing and painful stinging sensation in her chest.
Thinking of her hurts, even if it's just for a moment.
I have to focus...if I can become even a fraction as skilled as Kobe-san, then maybe...
Maybe...
Himawari finishes the tart with Kobe-san's guidance, but she's never able to finish that stray maybe.