The next day Spencer left on another case. He didn't want to with Lorelai being so upset. But Lorelai told him to go. Lorelai needed some time. She needed time to think. She needed to get away. She asked Rachel if she minded watching Hailey for a couple days. Rachel was of course okay with it.

Lorelai packed a bag and just started driving. Somehow she ended up driving all the way to Idaho. A thirty-six-hour drive. Without stopping. It was almost as if she was in auto pilot. She stopped when she got to the grounds of the old foster home. Since the tear down the plot of land hadn't been touched. No one wanted to buy that piece of land. And honestly Lorelai wasn't surprised. The people who didn't flee the town afterwards didn't have the money.

She broke the do not enter tape that was surrounding the property and just walked through the rubble. The rubble of what had been her home for thirteen years of her life. There was also a lot of trash that must have blown onto the area.

Flashbacks of the abuse and just all-around hell that was that home. She flashed back to some of the good moments too. She had truly felt like a parent to all the kids in that home. It was definitely why it was so hard for her to let anyone else keep and eye on them but after everything happened with Jules she was told that she was not to look any of them up anymore. That she needed to let go and let them be happy and healthy where they all were and if any fell through the cracks it wasn't on her. She needed to move on. And she thought she had. But than why was she here than? How did her brain drive her here. What was her subconscious trying to tell her.

It wasn't long before law enforcement showed up. "Ma'am you shouldn't be here." The officer said

"Funny. Would have been nice if law enforcement said that when I was a child." Lorelai said looking up at the officers. She didn't recognize them. They must have not been there the last time she was here working a case.

"You were one of the girls in the home? Oh. Its not safe though." The officer said

Lorelai smiled. "Wow. Someone who doesn't actually know who I am."

"Sorry ma'am should we?" The officer asked

Lorelai shook her head with a small chuckle. "No. I'm glad someone doesn't honestly." She stepped back over to where the tape was.

"Ma'am look we get you want closure, but you cant come back here. Or we will have to arrest you." One of the officers said

"Sorry officers wont happen again." She said

"We need your name." They said

"Lorelai Hotchner Reid." She said before she walked away and got into her car.

She drove to a motel and crashed as she had been awake for over 48 hours at that point. She slept for a few hours when she woke she called Rachel to check in on Hailey who was happy and having fun with her aunties and uncle.

She noticed she had missed a few calls. One from her dad, two from Spencer and seventeen from Penny. Lorelai made a face and called Penny back first.

"Where are you!?" Penny asked when she answered.

"What do you mean?" Lorelai asked

"Well. Rachel told your dad and Spencer that you left the baby with her for a few days and that you didn't seem okay. And I stopped by your place, and you weren't there. And you turned the location off on your phone. We are all worried sick. Where are you?" Penny asked in her quick rambling voice.

"I needed some time away Penny. I'm fine. I promise." Lorelai said

"That doesn't tell me where you are." Penny said

"Penny. I'm fine." Lorelai said. "Now I'm going to call my dad and Spencer. We will talk later." Lorelai said before she hung up.

She called Spencer.

"Lorelai. Where are you? What's going on?" He asked when he answered.

"I needed to get away. I needed time to figure stuff out." Lorelai said

"Okay. Well, where did you go?" Spencer asked calmly

"I don't want to say." Lorelai said

"Why not?" Spencer asked

"Because I don't want everyone to worry. And I know you cant keep a secret from my father." Lorelai said.

"That's not true." Spencer said

"So. Hypothetically. Lets say I was in… Canada. You wouldn't tell him." Lorelai said

"I'd ask why you were there, but I know that's not where you are." Spencer said

"Your right its not but I will not be telling you where I am. Tell my dad I'm okay." Lorelai said. "I love you." She added before she hung up.

She went to a local café and got herself something to eat. Before long the captain came in to get some food and saw her. He went over to the booth where she was "Mind if I sit?" He asked

"Take it your officers told you who was at the grounds of the old foster home." She said nodding that he could sit.

"Yes. I was surprised I have to admit." Captain Duluth said

"I'm sorry. I wasn't trying to cause problems." She said

"I didn't think you were." He said

Lorelai nodded. Her phone went off. She looked it and smiled.

"Your husband?" He asked pointing to the ring.

Lorelai shook her head. "No. My sister. She's watching my daughter for me. Sent me a picture of her." She showed the captain.

"Wow you have a daughter. Congratulations. Looks just like you." He said

"Thank you." She said

"So. I take it you have a reason for coming here?" He asked

"I do. But I will not be sharing this reason with you." Lorelai said

"Wasn't expecting you to." He said

"Does your family know where you are?" He asked

"Nope. And I'm hoping it stays that way." She said. She knew the captain could make one call and everyone would know where she was.

"I'm not going to call anyone." He said. "But while you are here." He started

"Don't cause any problems? I wont." She said cutting him off before he could finish.

"Thank you." He said before he got up. He turned back to the table. "I don't need to know why you're here. And don't take this the wrong way but you don't look okay. I have a daughter about your age. If she was somewhere and clearly struggling with something I would want to know." He said before he left.

Lorelai forced herself to eat. She paid and she left and went back to the motel. She stayed in the room and just curled up. A few hours later she decided to go to a bar in the next town over. She took a seat at the bar and ordered a drink.

She was there a couple hours and had yet to finish her one beer. When someone sat next to her. She looked up completely dumbfounded. "This is a joke right?" she said

He chuckled. "Hey. I'm not here to bust you. You are well above the legal age this time."

"What are you even doing here?" She asked

"Your dad wanted to come but because of the case they are working he cant. JJ saw how much he was worrying, and she suggested asking me to come." Will said

Lorelai nodded. "How'd he figure out where I was?"

"Luck." He said with a smirk

"Uh huh." Lorelai said

"Penny did her computer thing and figured it out." He said

"On her own or was she asked to by my dad… or Spencer?" Lorelai asked

"Not sure." Will said.

She nodded. "So, you came here to bring me home?" She asked

"Nope. Came here to see if you are okay." Will said

"And I told Spencer and Penny I was fine." Lorelai said

"Lorelai. You're not. Anyone looking at you could see you're not okay." Will said. "What's going on?" He asked

"Just struggling. Have a lot on my mind." Lorelai said

"Well. You know I'm a good listener." He said

"There were some complications with Hailey's birth. She is perfectly healthy its not that. Its me. There were some issues. They said that they would heal. And they did. But it left behind some damage. I cant have anymore children." Lorelai said "So now. I have one child. Whom I love dearly. But if she will be my only child. I cant risk losing her. Which means I don't think I can trust anyone else with her care. Which means I have to give up being an Agent. And that is going to make me miserable. Which means I'm going to grow to resent her. And well than I might just end up being just as bad if not worse than my biological parents." She rambled tears streaming

Will took a breathe. "Wow. I'm so sorry. That you cant have more children. I can see that is something you really wanted. But you -know there are other ways to grow a family." He said

"I know. And adoption has always been something I wanted to do too. But I wanted one more chance to be pregnant." She said

Will nodded. "I cant say I understand that feeling but I know I'm very sorry." He said. "That being said. You love your daughter. Everyone can see that. The fact that you cant trust anyone else with her isn't because you cant have anymore. You know how hard it is for JJ and me to leave our kids with -any sitter." He said. "Its about being a parent and having a hard time trusting other with our children and not wanting to miss any moments of their lives." He said.

Lorelai nodded.

"You will not grow to resent her. You are nothing like your biological parents." He said

Lorelai nodded. "How do you know?"

"Because. You have told me about them. And JJ has told me a few things about them when it came to cases. And I have seen you with your brother and sisters. I have seen you with my kids." He said. "You have protected countless children. And they weren't yours." Will said

Lorelai nodded.

"Look. I don't know you as well as I know JJ. But I know going back to work was necessary for her happiness. And in the end the happiness of our children. So maybe you will need to go back to work. And if that is what your supposed to do that you will find someone you can trust with your child. I mean who is she with right now?" he asked

"Rachel. And yes she is someone I trust. But she has future plans. She wont be available forever." Lorelai said.

"You don't need to find someone for forever. You just need someone for when you go back to work. When she cant anymore you and Spencer will figure it out than." Will said

"And that's another thing. Spencer is going to be so disappointed that we cant have anymore children biologically." She said

"You haven't told him?" Will asked surprised

Lorelai shook her head.

"You need to." He said

"I know. And I will. I just. I don't know how to tell him." She said

"You just tell him the truth. He loves you. You will work though it together." Will said

Lorelai nodded. She finished her beer.

"How much have you had to drink?" Will asked

"Just the one." She said. "But shouldn't be driving anyways."

"Where are you staying?" He asked

"I checked out of the motel. I was planning on waiting till the alcohol was out of my system than just driving home." She said

"Not in the state you are in." Will said.

"Please. I drove here 36 hours no stops." She said

"Lorelai. That is so reckless." He said

She shrugged. "I didn't really do it intentionally. I just started driving."

Will shook his head. "There is a hotel across the street. I am getting a room there for the night and you will to." He said

Lorelai sighed.

"You get the hotel room. I give you a chance to tell Spencer about your 36 hour drive yourself. Or you start driving back and I call him and tell him myself." Will said. "And I can guess what he would do about it is what I would do if JJ did something so reckless. And was going to do it again."

"Well, its to bad he's not here to stop me." Lorelai said

Will got up and went outside and called Spencer told him about her plans. When they hung up Spencer called Lorelai.

Lorelai answered. "Hi.

"Did you think he wouldn't actually call me?" He asked calmly

"I didn't think he would call you so quickly." Lorelai said

"You are going to get a hotel room. If you attempt to drive the 36-hour drive without breaks again. You will not like the consequences." Spencer said "And I already am not happy you turned off your location." He added

Lorelai took a breathe.

"I will let your 36-hour drive on no sleep slide if you don't do it again. If you do it again I will punish you for both times." He said

"Spence." She said her voice shaky.

"What is it?" he asked

"I cant have anymore kids. I'm sorry. I know you wanted more." She said before she hung up.

Spencer tried to call her back, but she didn't answer.

She went outside and walked right past Will. She did go across the street and get a hotel room.

Spencer called Will back.

"She went to the hotel. I think she is getting a room." Will said

"Will. I need you to not leave her alone. I am on my way. She is not okay." Spencer said

"Did she tell you something?" Will asked

"She tell you about the baby thing?" Spencer asked

"Yeah… I'm sorry Spencer." Will said

"Right now, I just need Lorelai to be okay." Spencer said

Will went across the street and got to her in the elevator. "Spencer is really worried about you. He does not think you should be alone."

Lorelai rolled her eyes. She called Spencer.

"Lorelai. Why didn't you tell me?" He asked when he answered

"I just did. And if you really think I would do something and leave my child without a mother you don't know me at all." Lorelai said before she hung up and looked at Will. "I am going to bed. You are not going to watch me sleep." She told him. She got off at her floor and went into her hotel room and just crashed.

Will got a room on the same floor and stayed the night as well.

Lorelai woke up the next morning. She turned onto her back and looked up at the ceiling. There was a knock on her door. She got up and looked out the peephole. It was Spencer. She opened the door. "So, I don't get to travel all night, but you do?" She asked

"I took a flight and had cab drive me. I didn't drive myself." He said before he wrapped her in a hug. A tight hug. "I didn't think you were suicidal. I just knew you were hurting, and I didn't want you to have to go though that alone." He said. He led her to the bed where he sat down and pulled her into his lap and just held her.

Lorelai curled into his arms.

He had already let Will know he was there that he could go whenever he was ready to.

"I have talked to the front desk. We have this room for another night." He said. "I called Rachel. Hailey is doing great." He added

Lorelai nodded.

"And we need to talk about this. You found out about this a couple weeks before the wedding right?" He asked.

Lorelai looked up at him. "How did you know?"

"I noticed you seemed off. I chalked it up it wedding jitters. Than afterwards I figured you were just adjusting to being married." He said

Lorelai looked down.

"I love you Lorelai. No matter how many kids we have. I will always love you." He said

Lorelai nodded. "I'm sorry I didn't tell you sooner." She said

Spencer nodded. "Its forgiven." He said

"Now. Lets get some sleep." He said

"But I." She started.

"If you plan on telling me your not tired. Don't." He said

The two of them crawled into bed. Spencer held her as she started to sob again. Sobbing herself to sleep in his arms.

Lorelai woke up a few hours later and looked over. Spencer was still asleep. She carefully moved out of his arms so as not to wake him up. She got up and went to the bathroom. She took a shower and got herself ready for the day. When she came back into the room Spencer was awake.

"Hi." She said

"Hey." He said. "How long ago did you get up?"

"Half an hour or so." Lorelai said

Spencer nodded "How much have you eaten since being here?"

Lorelai looked down.

Spencer sat up. "Come sit."

Lorelai went over and sat next to him.

He took her hand. "Please tell me."

"Not much. One real meal. Abit of snacking." She said

Spencer took her hand and kissed it. "Than why don't I get dressed and we can go get some food." He said

Lorelai nodded.

Spencer let her hand go and went and got a shower and got dressed before the two of them left the hotel. Went and grabbed her car from across the street and went to a diner for some breakfast.

After they were done Spencer looked at Lorelai. "Why did you come to Idaho?"

"Honestly. I just started driving. I think my subconscious told me enough was enough. This town was part of my life yes but its time to let it go." Lorelai said

Spencer nodded. "Did you get the closure?"

"I tried to. I went to the site of the old foster home. I walked on it. But got kicked off rather quickly." She said

"Isn't it taped off? No one is supposed to go on it?" He asked

Lorelai smiled. "Since when do -I follow the rules?"

Spencer shook his head.

"Its why some cops showed up. They kicked me off. I told them I was in that home, so I think they gave me some leeway and they just told me to not come back. They didn't know who I was. Even when I told them my name." She said "I ran into Captain Duluth a few hours later and I guess they had told them my name, so he knew I was in town. We talked abit got told not to cause any trouble that was the extent of it." Lorelai added

Spencer nodded he paid and the two of them left the restaurant. He took her hand. "Do you want to walk the grounds? We can probably get permission if you really need that closure?" He asked

"No. I honestly don't think it will help. I honestly thought I was okay. That I was over it but apparently my subconscious thought otherwise." She said

"Maybe your subconscious wanted to show you that you -are okay. You -are over it. You can come here and be -okay." He said

"Do I seem okay to you?" Lorelai asked

"Well, you have other things going on. That have nothing to do with this state. Maybe coming here was just your subconscious telling you. You survived the hell of the first fifteen years of your life in this town and you will get through anything else life will throw at you." Spencer said

Lorelai took a breathe and her body tingled a shiver going up her spine.

"You cold?" Spencer asked

Lorelai shook her head. "Spenc. I think you're right…. I think my inner child brought me here. To show me I -am okay…"

Spencer wrapped her in a hug. "Is your inner child healed than?"

Lorelai hugged him tight. "Maybe… Maybe it is." She said tears streaming.

Spencer held her.

After they broke the hug they got back into Lorelai's car and drove back to the hotel.

Spencer sat on the bed and took her into his lap. "We do need to talk about you turning your location off." He said

Lorelai looked down. "I'm sorry. I just needed some space. And I didn't want you to know where I was. I didn't want anyone to know where I was. Apparently that didn't work very well though."

Spencer smiled abit. "I was worried. We all were worried."

"So, you asked Penny to figure it out?" Lorelai asked

Spencer nodded. "You upset I did?"

"Well. I didn't tell you where I was and turned off my location because I needed space. And still you figured it out and Will was sent, and you came." Lorelai said

"I get that. But you came to a place that in the past has caused you a lot of emotional damages. And a place where sometimes you don't think through what you are doing…" Spencer said

Lorelai nodded. "You're right. But I'm not a kid anymore. I can handle it."

Spencer nodded. "Okay. Fair enough. But your never suppose to turn off the location on your phone. And you did that."

Lorelai nodded. "You're right."

Spencer gently lifted her chin, so she was looking at him. "turn your location off again and the conversation will not end in a way you like. Understood?" He asked

Lorelai nodded. "Understood."

Spencer kissed her head. They stayed in the hotel for the rest of the day before going out for dinner and going to Lorelai's favorite bakery and getting a few dozen cookies to bring back to DC. They went to bed early that night so they could get up and go home early the next morning.

The next day they drove home. They took turns driving and stopped only once at a motel to sleep for the night. When they got back to DC Lorelai and Spencer went straight to her dad's place to pick up Hailey. When they got there Aaron was the only one home. Emily and Rachel had taken the kids to the park. Spencer went for a walk down to the park to leave Lorelai and her dad to talk.

They sat in the office both with a cup of coffee in hand and a plate of a couple cookies on the table in the room.

"Do you want to talk about it?" Aaron asked

Lorelai told her dad everything. About finding out she cant have kids and everything that had gotten her to Idaho and everything that had happened in Idaho.

Aaron listened. When she was done talking he wrapped her in a hug. "I'm so sorry that you cant get pregnant again."

"Thanks." She said hugging him back.

They sat in silence for a bit sipping their coffees

"I have to ask. Did me punishing you the other day make you feel the need to run?" Aaron asked.

"No. Of course not. I think my inner child was trying to tell me I needed to go back there. To show I can go there and be okay." Lorelai said. "Maybe to help me decide about my future. About how I can be a mother and an agent and be successful at both." She said

Aaron nodded. "I can understand that. Have you made that decision?" He asked

She shook her head. "I'm still trying to figure it out."

"Okay." Aaron said "But the next time you need to take off and get some space. Tell someone where you are going." He said sternly

Lorelai nodded. "Yes dad." She said

"And don't you -ever turn off your location again. Understood?" he asked

She nodded. "Yes dad."

Just than everyone came into the house.

"Go. See your daughter." Aaron said with a smile

Lorelai got up and went out and took her from Spencer and hugged her close. "I missed you." She said softly kissing her head.

Hailey just babbled up at her mom.

Spencer smiled. "I think that means she missed you too."

Lorelai looked at Rachel. "No issues?"

"No. She was an angel. And believe it or not kept Jack and Lily from fighting. They truly are siblings." Rachel said

Lorelai chuckled. "I'm pretty sure the only reason the three of us didn't fight like that was because of the age differences."

Rachel chuckled. "Probably."

Aaron came from behind. "You three had your moments." He said

Lorelai shrugged. "Somewhat I suppose yes."

"Well, I think we are going to head home. Thank you Rachel. I owe you a spa day or something" Lorelai said

"I wouldn't say no to a spa day, but you don't owe me anything." Rachel said

Lorelai and Spencer left with Hailey and went home. It had been along few days, and they all needed to be in their own beds.