Wakabayashi entered the teacher's break room, and shortly after, four members of the Gensokyo High Chess Club entered the hallway after him.
Reimu, Marisa, Alice and Patchouli slowly moved towards the break room, careful to not make too much noise. Once they were just outside the break room, Marisa took out her phone and saw a message from Sakuya confirming that she was ready on the second floor. Marisa nodded to the rest of the team, before retreating into Room 108, which was currently empty due to the lunch break. Reimu went into Room 109 soon after, but not before taking one last glance at Alice and Patchouli.
"All right, you're up Patchy. Be careful," Alice whispered as she opened her bag to reveal half a dozen dolls, which then proceeded to take up strategic positions all over the hallway.
Patchouli took a deep breath, coughing slightly as she exhaled. Frowning, she took a hit of her inhaler before moving in, just in case.
The door to the break room creaked slightly as it closed behind Patchouli. It didn't seem to bother Wakabayashi though, who was currently digging through his lunchbox, desperately looking for something.
"Come on, what is this crap?!" Mr. Wakabayashi growled in frustration.
"Is there something wrong, Mr. Wakabayashi?" Patchouli asked sarcastically, making her presence known.
Wakabayashi jolted and whirled around, immediately grimacing once he laid eyes on Patchouli, "Ms. Knowledge, what do you think you're doing in the break room? You know you aren't allowed in here, girl," he said, as if the word "girl" was an insult.
Patchouli leaned against the wall, both to look more cool/intimidating and because she was genuinely getting tired of standing.
"I was merely wondering why a seemingly normal human teacher like yourself is in possession of such a powerful magical artifact, is all," she said with a half-lidded stare in Wakabayashi's direction.
Wakabayashi looked baffled for a moment, before he began to laugh. "Ah, Ms. Knowledge, and here I thought you were one of the smart ones. Please do go on, because I don't see any kind of magical artifact here!"
Patchouli huffed. "Well, of course you don't see it, because it's in your lunchbox, correct?" she asked, pointing to the lunchbox in question.
Surprisingly, Mr. Wakabayashi continued to laugh. "Honestly, Patchouli, you've always infuriated me."
"Oh? Why?" Patchouli cocked her head to the side.
"Because you try so hard. All that work towards a good grade… when you could have just given me a piece of that ass. I would have given you perfect marks," Wakabayashi said with a perverse lick of his lips.
Patchouli scowled. "Repulsive." That was the only response that remark deserved.
Wakabayashi somehow managed to laugh even harder, to the point where it sounded almost manic.
"You think so? You nosy bitch, you want my lunch so bad?" Wakabayashi grabbed his lunchbox from the table. "Then go get it!" he yelled, before flinging it out of the window behind him.
"Get it? What for? I don't need to get it." Just as Patchouli said that, a figure promptly jumped up and grabbed the lunchbox out of the air. It was none other than Remilia Scarlet.
"Ah, ah, ah. Very naughty, Mr. Wakabayashi," Remilia said with a smug smile as she flew herself and the lunchbox back into the room.
"Now, let's see what you've got for me~!" Remilia exclaimed with glee as she opened the lunchbox in her hands… only to find nothing except a tuna sandwich, a bag of chips and a can of soda.
Now, it was Patchouli's turn to be shocked. "W-what?! But I was so sure…"
"Hehehe." The sound of Wakabayashi arrogantly chuckling to himself made both Remilia and Patchouli turn to face him, looks of stunned fear on their faces.
"Now, what to do about this, I wonder…" Wakabayashi said with a dark intonation.
The door to the break room suddenly flew open, and Vice Principal Ran Yakumo appeared on the other side, ducking down as she walked through the doorway due to her immense height.
Ran took in the scene in front of her with a very confused look on her face. "Patchouli and… Remilia? What is the meaning of this? Why are you in the teacher's break room?"
"I can answer that, Vice Principal Yakumo." Wakabayashi stepped forward, pushing past both Remilia and Patchouli. He turned his head back around to look at them, and smirked. "You two are in deep shit," he mouthed silently.
Huh, you know, I'm not actually that hungry for some reason. I thought to myself as I shrugged and put my lunchbox back in my pack. I'll just eat it at home.
More importantly, I realized that lunch was almost over, much to my joy. Now, only a couple of hours remained before the end of school. I pumped my fist in the air in celebration, after making sure no one was around to see, of course.
I took a moment to appreciate the sound of the bell announcing that lunch was over, before making my way to fifth period. I made sure to look out for any Chess Club members or anyone else on my "Don't Make Eye Contact" list as I waded through the crowded hall, and tried my best to avoid any potential danger. In the end, it seemed my efforts proved to be a success, as the next two periods passed by without much incident, and before long I was finally free to go home. Ah, the sweet taste of victory, I thought to myself as I followed my fellow students out of school (some of whom walked, others of whom flew), basking in the cool breeze and sunny weather as I did so.
"Mr. Coates." That was the third time today I heard those exact same words spoken in that exact same fashion by the exact same person, and I was not happy to hear it.
I apprehensively turned to face Mr. Waka. "A-ah, Mr. Waka… uh, can I help you?" I asked, silently cursing myself for letting my guard down.
"You better believe it, maggot," Mr. Waka spat, he seemed to be extra pissed off right now. "I believe you have something that belongs to me?" he asked while crossing his arms and glaring at me accusingly.
"Huh? What are you talking about?" I asked in genuine confusion.
"Heh, what's the matter? Didn't have lunch today?" Mr. Waka asked in a condescending tone.
"As a matter of fact, I didn't. What's all this about?"
Mr. Waka growled. "Ugh, of course," he muttered, reaching into his bag and pulling out his lunchbox. "Look, our lunches switched when we bumped into each other earlier. I'm no fan of tuna, so I'd like my lunch back, please."
Oh, so that's why it felt so heavy.
"Look, just give me my lunchbox back and I might let you off with a warni-"
"Fire Sign: Agni Shine!" a voice yelled out from above, cutting Mr. Waka off. I fell back as Mr. Waka was instantly surrounded in a circle of fire.
I sat there, staring at the scene in front of me, frozen in shock, before a figure I knew all too well lowered herself from the air.
"P-Patchouli?! What are you-?!"
"No time to explain!" Patchouli yelled out with more urgency than usual as she stared down our very pissed off looking math teacher. "Just do not let him have that lunchbox under any circumstance!" she ordered me.
Several danmaku appeared in the air around Patchouli, all pointed at Mr. Waka.
Mr. Waka's scowl distorted into a smile. "Really now, Patchouli. Weren't you investigating me? Surely, you must know this won't stop me!" Whatever he was talking about, he seemed pretty confident.
Patchouli winced. "Tch."
All of the danmaku in the air quickly shot toward Mr. Waka, however, not a single one of them hit, as Mr. Waka had suddenly vanished into thin air. The danmaku impacted the spot where he used to be, kicking up a considerable amount of cement particles.
"W-what is… what?!" I sputtered, still struggling to process what was happening.
"Over here~!" a voice, which I knew was Mr. Waka's, called out from behind us. We both turned to see him casually leaning out of the window of a nearby classroom, waving at us mockingly.
"You know, Mr. Coates, I was considering letting you go, 'cause I'm such a nice guy like that. But now that I know you're in league with the Chess Club… I think I'll just get you expelled along with Remilia and Patchouli!" Mr. Waka cackled like a badly written superhero movie villain before vanishing once again.
"Drat, he got away." Patchouli said, back to her dull and Patchouli-like way of speaking.
"Drat?! That's all you have to say?!" I yelled. "Didn't you hear him?! I'm getting expelled! And for what?! For carrying a stupid lunchbox?! I knew today was going to be a bad day!" I cried.
"Calm down," Patchouli said, in a voice that provided me with zero comfort. "He won't go to Principal Yakumo just yet, not until he has what he needs."
"And… what he needs is this, right?" I reached into my pack and pulled out my- well, Mr. Waka's lunchbox.
Patchouli's eyes widened slightly, "Yes, that's it."
"Okay, I have a crazy, absolutely batshit insane idea. Ready to hear it?"
Patchouli stared at me for a moment, before tentatively nodding.
"All right… how about we give him the stupid lunchbox and apologize for almost burning him alive? Then, we may only get suspended, instead of expelled," I explained, as calmly as I could with all of the anxiety currently coursing through me.
Patchouli shook her head. "That won't work, and besides, didn't I just say not to give the lunch box to Wakabayashi? I believe I also added an 'under any circumstances' clause to that as well."
"But why?! You still haven't told me what's going on!" I yelled.
"Because," Patchouli began, snatching the lunchbox from my hands as she did so. "We need this."
Patchouli reached into the lunchbox and pulled out what looked like a shard, slowly pulsating with some kind of purple, no doubt magical, energy.
"I don't need it," I replied curtly.
Patchouli closed her eyes and smiled. "Ah, I had nearly forgotten your finest trait, your altruism," she said, dryly.
I rolled my eyes. "Look, I never wanted any of this."
"Well too bad, you're in it. So suck it up and be a man. Besides… everybody else already went home, it would be kind of awkward to ask them to come back."
"Well, what if I don't want to help you?" I challenged.
Patchouli sighed, took out a spell card and pointed at a nearby tree. "Water Sign: Princess Undine." I yelped as an extremely pressurized jet of water shot from Patchouli's hand and went through the tree, leaving a sizable hole in the middle.
I looked back to Patchouli, my mouth agape. "Now will you help me stop Wakabayashi?" she asked, as if nothing had happened.
"Please let me get back to my normal life after this," I begged.
"No promises… but I'll try, I suppose." Patchouli turned and started to walk towards the school building. "Thankfully, there weren't any students around to witness what happened, it seems like they were all in a rush to get home."
"So that means there really is a chance for me to get back to my normal life!" I cheered. "All right, I'm all in now, tell me what we need to do to stop from getting expelled," I said as I followed Patchouli into the building.
"First, let me explain Wakabayashi's ability. As you most likely guessed, it allows him to teleport himself and his surrounding objects, if he so pleases. However, he can only do so between rooms. A room constituting four walls and a roof, of course."
"Ah, so that's why he reappeared in that classroom earlier?" I asked, slowly following along.
"Correct." Patchouli's face hardened. "It is a trivial ability, only useful for sneaking into womens locker rooms."
"Woah! He really does that?" I asked, surprised.
Patchouli nodded. "We've been following him for weeks."
"Yeesh, I knew he was an asshole, but a pervert too? Prince Charming over here," I commented. "But wait… Mr. Waka's human, isn't he? Forgive me for assuming, but he doesn't exactly look like Merlin the Wizard. How did he get this power?"
"That's just one of the many mysteries we're trying to find an answer to. Regardless, although his ability is trivial, it can be quite a nuisance in an environment with a lot of rooms." Patchouli stopped walking. "Like a school building, for example."
"Right, right… wait." I froze. "Aren't we in a school building right now?"
Patchouli nodded again. "You're quite perceptive," she said sarcastically… I think. It can be hard to tell with Patchouli.
"What the hell are we doing in here then?! Shouldn't we go outside where his ability is useless?!"
"We're here because we need evidence to submit to the school board. Just the artifact by itself won't be enough, we need to prove that it's Wakabayashi's," Patchouli explained. "Originally, we were going to trick Wakabayashi into using the artifact or trying to run away with it, which would no doubt implicate him as the owner. Unfortunately, a certain someone caused that plan to fail," she said while eying me.
"I would like to reiterate that I never asked for this."
"Anyway, now it's time for Plan B." Patchouli turned to one of the lockers in the hall and readied a spell card. "Sorry, Aya," she muttered, before releasing the spell.
"Metal Sign: Metal Fatigue." I jumped slightly as the locker in front of Patchouli suddenly exploded off its hinges and shattered against the floor, before rusting away into nothing.
Inside the locker was an array of cameras, microphones and various other gadgets for recording information.
"Enough dillydallying. It's time to end this, once and for all," Patchouli spoke with determination.
The dimly lit classroom was entirely empty, save for one occupant, Patchouli Knowledge, who was currently sitting at a desk and reading a book on wood magic. It was quite an interesting read, in Patchouli's opinion.
"Tsk, tsk, tsk. Don't you know that reading in the dark is bad for your eyes, Ms. Knowledge?" Wakabayashi said, appearing before her.
"Hello, Mr. Wakabayashi," Patchouli replied with a sigh. "Frankly, my eyesight is already bad, so you needn't worry." Patchouli closed the book, got up from the desk and walked towards the front of the classroom.
Wakabayashi smiled confidently and looked around the room, "So, where is it?"
"What ever could you mean, Mr. Wakabayashi?" Patchouli asked, teasingly slanting her head and putting a finger on her chin.
Wakabayashi's smile quickly faded. "Cut the crap, where's the camera? You're recording this right? You really think I wouldn't notice that crow reporter's locker being forcibly opened?" He smiled again. "Actually, now that I think about it, that's another rule you've broken, Ms. Knowledge. You'll surely be expelled for this, you know?"
Nonchalantly strolling over to the teachers desk in the room and leaning on it, Wakabayashi continued. "But, I'm a nice guy, maybe if you apologize and relinquish the contraband that you smuggled into the school, I'll let you off the hook. Ah, and also if you consider my offer from earlier in the teacher's lounge, of course," he added with a sly smirk and a wink.
Patchouli scrunched her nose in disgust. "Vile," was all she had to say.
Wakabayashi chuckled. "I thought so… well, back on topic. Where's the camera? Is it with your boyfriend?"
"There are no cameras here, and he is not my boyfriend," Patchouli said without lying.
"Yeah, scrawny kid like him with a babe like you? No way."
"Flattery will get you nowhere, cretin. More importantly…" Patchouli reached into her bag and pulled out a lunchbox. "I think you're looking for this?"
"Heh, don't think you can fool me, you crafty bitch. I know it's not in there anymore," Wakabayashi said, his ego beaming.
Without a word, Patchouli reached into the lunchbox and pulled out the artifact from it.
Wakabayashi frowned. "Whatever," he spat. "Give it to me." He extended his hand expectantly.
Patchouli giggled darkly. "As a portly, disgusting, repulsive and perverse teacher once said: You want this so bad? Then go get it!" Patchouli exclaimed as she turned and threw the artifact out the window.
"You fool! What are you doing?!" Wakabayashi shot forward in an attempt to catch the artifact. However, it was too late, a figure appeared on the other side of the window and caught it instead. That figure being…
"Thanks, Patchouli!" Adam Coates yelled before turning around and running away.
Wakabayashi reached the window and yelled after Adam. "Mr. Coates! What do you think you're doing?! That artifact is mine, worm!"
"Oh really? That artifact is yours, huh?" Patchouli asked.
Wakabayashi froze. Damn! I slipped up… but Coates didn't have a camera on him, and neither does Patchouli. Wakabayashi grinned before turning around. "Why, whatever do you-?"
There was a click. Patchouli had gone back to the desk she was sitting at and brought something out, a tape recorder.
For once in his life, Wakabayashi had nothing to say.
"Would you like to repeat what you said? I would love to get a clearer recording of you incriminating yourself."
"Y-y-you…" Drops of sweat rolled down Wakabayashi's face, his teeth were clenched and he was seething with rage.
"I didn't lie, did I? There were no cameras here, just a tape recorder. I was a bit surprised when I saw it in Aya's locker, kind of an old-fashioned technology don't you think? Perhaps she keeps it as a collectors item," Patchouli droned on, knowing full well that it only made the teacher more infuriated. "Still, I suppose it does its job."
"So how about it? Would you like to confess to anything else before I hand this in? I, for one, would love to know how you managed to get your hands on such an artifact. However, I'm even more curious as to how you gained your abilities in the first place."
Wakabayashi forced out a grin. "W-why… you hurt me, Patchouli. How do you know I'm not just naturally gifted?"
Patchouli glared at Wakabayashi. "You don't strike me as the magical type."
Wakabayashi collapsed to his knees and held his head in his hands. "Th-this isn't right, you're all nothing but maggots below my foot! They promised me I'd have power and everything I ever wanted if I just turned in the stupid shard!"
Patchouli raised an eyebrow. "'They'? Who is 'they'?"
Wakabayashi looked up, he had a look of pure anguish on his face. "If… if I can't have it… no one can." With that, Wakabayashi vanished.
"What?!" Patchouli cried out. "Oh no… Adam!"
Patchouli grabbed the tape recorder and flew out the window as fast as she could, beginning to desperately search for any sign of where Wakabayashi had gone. It didn't take long, as soon enough she heard a scuffle coming from one of the higher floors and rushed in, only to find Wakabayashi holding Adam in a chokehold, artifact in hand.
"L-let me go, you perverted teacher!" Adam yelled as he struggled against Wakabayashi's grip.
"Hell no! It's all because of you that I'm in this position! If you hadn't been late this morning, none of this would have happened!" Wakabayashi shouted angrily.
Patchouli didn't exactly follow his logic, but that wasn't important right now.
Once again, several danmaku appeared around Patchouli. "Let him go. Now," Patchouli ordered.
Wakabayashi laughed madly. "No way, slut! Me and him are going down together, and there's nothi-!"
"Wood Sign: Sylphy Horn!"
A beam of wood shot out from a nearby wall, hitting Wakabayashi square on the head and forcing him to let go of Adam.
"Adam, run!" Patchouli commanded.
"Fuck this stupid shard!" Wakabayashi let out one final scream of absolute fury as he spiked the artifact into the floor of the classroom.
Patchouli unleashed her danmaku upon the teacher, there was a loud crack and a shout.
Then, everything went white.