Interlude – Growth
(beta: Obiki Doragon – Published: 04.29.2015)

Rin's finger traced a line along Shirou's bare chest, sending a shiver down his spine. Her breath, so close to his skin, made his heart run faster.

With enticing slowness, a bead of sweat made its way down her neck and into her cleavage, disappearing from sight. Eyes closed, Rin frowned and let out an audible sigh when her hand rested on top of Shirou's heart.

Then the Crest on her arm faded out and disappeared entirely.

"Idiot."

"You have become repetitive lately, Rin." he teased. "You might want to expand your repertoire of insults."

The Magus glared. "Would that help you be any less stupid?"

"Nah, I don't think so."

She shoved him with both hands and he fell back on the hotel's bed, chuckling. Rin stood from her kneeling position and put her shirt back on.

"You should be fine, at least physically. The erosion hasn't advanced any from the last checkup, but it's your mental state I'm worried about."

Shirou kept to himself that his metal state was beyond helping since long before they even met. There's just so much one can beat a dead horse, though Rin would probably be of different counsel.

"I'll be fine." he replied rolling his arm. "I don't mind losing against others, but there's no way I'll lose against myself."

Rin scoffed and shook her head. "Anybody else, I'd call bullshit on that. You… Well, I've seen you shrug off things that would have put a stop to anyone short of Berserker. Just… don't make me pick up the pieces if it turns out that you're wrong, alright? That goes double for Sakura."

Shirou inclined his head in acceptance. Truthfully, he didn't think there wouldn't be any pieces to pick up if he screwed up. Literally.

"I know. Don't worry, I'm not planning on dying anytime soon."

"Your behavior isn't really indicative of that." the petite Magus snapped.

"Our paths are different, but you walk with death as much as I do, Rin. No, don't tell me that being a member of the Clock Tower is any less dangerous of a lifestyle. At least my enemies are clear about their intentions. Yours play the game of cloak and dagger at a level that would have any 'Old Man of the Mountain' taking notes fervidly."

"Well, at least I don't go looking for them," Rin barked back.

"You should." Shirou chuckled. "Initiative is victory."

"Five years ago, you wouldn't have said something like that."

"I couldn't tell my ass from my elbows five years ago, Rin." the redhead replied dead serious.

It finally managed to get a smirk out of her.

"At least you can admit as much. There is still a bit of hope for you."

She walked to him, straddling his waist as he sat on the bed. He wrapped his arms around her, pulling her close.

"I won't go back on my promises, you know that."

"I know," she whispered, "but I still worry."

"I'm sorry," he mumbled.

"No, you are not," she gave a half-scoff. "You are selfish like that."

"Is that so?" Shirou smirked. "Then I'll be a little more selfish while I'm at it."

"Idiot."

A minute later Rin's shirt hit the floor, the rest of her clothes following suit in short order.

Her half-hearted complaints fell on deaf ears and moments later she had forgotten about them entirely.

Outside of their window, a small metal sphere hovered in mid-air unnoticed, sustained by an equally small propeller. Its camera zoomed in for a moment, relaying the images it captured before speeding away and disappearing into the dark sky of the evening.

Kitsune was many things, but a fool was not one of them. Rin and Shirou had left separately shortly after dinner and they returned at different times as well, but the resident fox could see it on Rin's face that something pleasant had happened. She wasn't frowning like she had been doing previously, for one thing. She was more relaxed than when she arrived.

It didn't take a genius to figure they had gotten laid.

Well, it wasn't a secret that they were lovers, but still she inevitably compared herself to the manager's choice of women. There was a stark difference between Rin and that Rider, and say what you will, Kitsune was sure that Shirou was hitting that one too. Rider's hadn't been just teasing. Like Rin, she was marking her territory.

So what was the deal with Emiya Shirou?

There was a story there, she could feel it in her bones. His past was clouded in mystery and Rin's vague story only added to it. She had to figure it – him – out. The more she found out, the more there was to discover. Honestly she hadn't been so excited about something in years.

'Watch yourself, Emiya Shirou. The Fox of Hinata is on the prowl.'

Behind the dorm, Motoko swung her blade. Her heart was in turmoil for many reasons, some of which escaped her understanding, and she sought comfort in the practiced movement of her sword style.

She exhaled and sheathed Shisui.

"Something on your mind?" Naru asked from the side.

"Plenty of things as of late. What about you? You are usually holed up in your room studying at this hour."

She shrugged noncommittally. "Are you alright, Motoko?"

"What makes you think I'm not?" her eyes narrowed. "If this is about Sensei…"

"It's about you. I get it, Emiya helped you. You respect him and I understand why. He's a great guy, even I can admit that. It's just… things have changed a lot since he arrived."

"You don't like it?"

"Frankly, I don't. Look, I'm not a kid, I know things don't stay the same forever but… the Hinata-sou is my safe place, you girls are like my family and that is changing in a way I can't predict. It… it scares me."

Motoko sighed.

"Yes, I understand, Naru. I feel much the same."

"You do?" she asked, surprised.

"Yes. I have changed. I still am for that matter. Where am I going? Who will I become? The person I am today sees the self of a few weeks ago like someone I could never respect. In a sense, I feel like a newborn baby. I don't know what's what anymore. It is definitely scary."

"A few weeks ago you would have never admitted you were afraid of something either."

"There is that," the sword-maiden nodded. "I don't know where I'm going, Naru. I'm not sure that one day I won't look to my present self without being disgusted as I am with my past self now. I do feel lost, but the truth is that I was long before Sensei came about. What changed is my awareness of that."

"Do you really trust Emiya so much to let him guide you?"

"Trust him to guide me, Naru?" Motoko mused. "I don't expect Sensei to do anything of the sort. He's not my handler and he would never presume as much either, don't you think?"

"Eh. Considering what I've seen from him this far, I don't think so."

"Hm," Motoko nodded. "Sensei won't make my choices for me. He's my Sensei because there are things in him that I wish to see reflected in me one day, but who I'm going to be in the future, as well as the reasons to wield my sword, they are mine to determine."

"You seem to know where you're headed pretty well already."

"Only the general direction," Motoko smiled faintly. "Naru, I know that you have your reservations about Emiya and other men in general. I share some of them, but I think you owe yourself more than just shut yourself in and pretend the world to be always and precisely as you believe it to be."

"Yeah. Easier said than done."

"Nobody said that change is ever easy. I can attest that it's anything but."

"It sucks."

"It's worthwhile," Motoko objected, then smiled, "and 'it sucks' as you aptly surmised."

The two friends shared a good-hearted laugh and walked together back to the inn.

-The next morning-

"Your aunt owns this place?" Rin asked in front of the tea shop.

"Technically she's my cousin," Shirou nodded. "But yes, I thought you might want to meet her."

"I never thought I'd meet any living relative of yours, to be honest."

"Me neither, but that's a good chance as any to introduce my girlfriend to my family."

"Your wh-? Shirou, w-wait!"

"Haruka-san? Are you in?" he asked, stepping into the shop and ignoring Rin's sputtering protests.

"Over here," the shop owner called from the back room. "I'll be right there."

"Shirou!" Rin hissed. "What do you think you are doing?"

"What? You don't want to meet my family?"

"That's not the point! I'm not-"

"Not what?" he asked, fully turning to her and taking her hand in his. "Rin, I agreed to this open-relationship thing you put forward and I'm sort of fine with it, but I'm not going around pretending you are some… some floozy and not someone very important to me."

Rin's face was of a shade of red that matched her usual shirt. Her mouth was agape and moved wordlessly.

"Well said, Shirou," Haruka approved from right behind him.

"WAAH!" The two Magi screamed nearly jumped out of their skins. "When did you get there?"

"Didn't I say I'd be right here just a moment ago?" the shop-owner asked with a frown, cigarette hanging casually from her lips.

"Yes, but… you know what? Forget it."

"I'll do that. Now, wasn't there someone you wanted to introduce?"

"Right. Haruka, this is Tohsaka Rin, my girlfriend from London. Rin, this is my aunt Urashima Haruka."

"Pleased to make your acquaintance," the older woman nodded informally.

"Ah, the pleasure is mine," Rin replied awkwardly, having barely managed to recompose herself.

"Come on," she urged, "take a seat while I prepare some tea. I would really like to know what kind of person my nephew is dating."

"I'll kill you for this," Rin promised under her breath, stomping past him with her face still flushed. Shirou just smiled in response. Although he knew there would be a price to pay, he knew that Rin's bark was always stronger than her bite, though in all honesty neither of those was to be taken lightly.

"So, an open relationship, uh?" Haruka asked casually a minute later as she served the tea.

"Yeah," the duo admitted embarrassedly. That part wasn't something Shirou had intended to divulge.

"Well, I can't say that I'm surprised. Long distance relationships are a difficult thing to manage."

"Spoken from experience?" Rin queried, seeking to escape the spot of a woman with loose morals.

"Rin!" Shirou scolded.

"Nah, don't bother, Shirou" Haruka waved off his concerns, blowing out a lungful of smoke. "As a matter of fact I used to be in such a relationship myself a few years back."

"I honestly hadn't painted you for… uhh, such an open minded person," the redhead observed. "No offense, Haruka-san."

"Oh, I'm not really that open minded, I assure you," she smirked. "I don't think there's any woman who actually loves her partner who is happy knowing he can be with someone else, even if she gets the same rights in return."

"Then why do it at all?" Shirou asked. That question plagued his mind for years and none of the women he was involved with ever gave him a straight answer.

Haruka glanced at Rin, whose hands tightened around her cup as she looked away uncomfortably. An amused smirk graced the face of the older woman.

"Why, it's because you love someone so much that you'd rather know they'll leave but eventually return rather than lose them completely. Having someone willing to put up with that, Shirou, you must really have left a lasting impression."

"Oh… Oh." Shirou was humbled to the point of silence. He glanced at Rin by his side but she didn't dare to meet his eyes. She was never good at dealing with her feelings being exposed, especially not so openly. They both fidgeted in their seat under the amused gaze of the older woman.

"Y-you said you used to be in a similar relationship. W-why did it end if you don't mind me asking?" the female Magus asked, trying to shift the attention from herself.

"Hm?" Haruka inhaled from her cigarette, face twisting in an indiscernible frown. "Cowardice, I would say. We never gotten around to admit how we actually felt and when a mutual loss struck us because of that we couldn't look at each other in the eyes anymore. Things fell apart after that. I can't say it was specifically anyone's fault so there aren't really any hard feelings left. You two don't seem to have the same issue, so I suppose you're safe on that front, but don't ever take things for granted or you won't even notice the moment you lose them."

"Yes, ma'am," the duo promptly agreed.

"Now, let's forget about this heavy subject and let's focus on more important matters."

"Like what?" Shirou asked, worry creeping up his spine.

"Why, embarrassing stories about my nephew's adolescence, of course," Haruka smirked wickedly. An expression that was mirrored by the hapless Magus' girlfriend a moment later.

Shirou closed his eyes in resignation. It looked like Rin's revenge would come sooner than expected.

-That afternoon.-

"So, are you already leaving?" Kitsune asked, leaning against the doorframe.

"Yes," Rin confirmed, shutting her luggage close. "I have to visit my family in Fuyuki and then I'm going straight back to London in a couple of days. I don't really have much time to sightsee."

"Pity. I really wanted to show you around the city."

Rin stood, luggage in hand and a smile of courtesy on her face. "I suppose it will have to wait for another time."

"I'll look forward to that. Have a safe trip."

There was nothing pleasant about their exchange and both of them knew it. Kitsune's interest in Shirou's life was had a different tone than the other girls'. She tried to conceal it with her shameless and outgoing behavior, but Rin wasn't that easily fooled. Kitsune too knew she had been seen right through as Rin played the same game as her. During her short time at the Inn, Rin indulged Kitsune's questions about Shirou's life, even the more inane or the most intimate, while sidestepping with experienced ease all inquiries that would reveal anything worthwhile about Rin's lover and their mutual history.

An invisible conflict had sparked between the two of them. A battle of prodding and avoiding the truth without outright lying or rejecting her questions altogether. Kitsune knew the game Rin was playing as it was a perfect counter to her own.

Say what you will, but without a doubt Shirou and Rin were cut from the same cloth. Thinking about it, Rider's shocking visit ultimately had the same effect of not letting Kitsune find anything really useful about them.

There was a pattern here. A conspiracy, if you will, to keep things about Shirou a secret as much as possible, using a pretense of politeness, common reservedness or in Rin's case of obfuscating openness.

Beneath her smiling exterior, Kitsune's investigative blood was boiling. Getting around Shirou's defenses wasn't going to be an easy task, but she'd figure it out even if it took her months or years. Despite what people knew about her, she could be extremely patient. The title of 'fox' wasn't due only to her vulpine expressions.

She was sharp and cunning, and would get at her prey in due time.

-Later in the afternoon.-

Shirou escorted Rin at the train station on foot, walking at a slow pace. Even in the wake of the Holy Grail War things had been anything but quiet for the residents of the Emiya's household. For several months they had to deal with the fallout of the unexplained disappearance of hundreds of people.

The so called 'Great Fuyuki Disappearance' wasn't something that any form of media control could hope to contain, even with all the means, supernatural or otherwise, that the Church and the Association combined could muster. Ultimately their efforts converged on hiding the real cause behind the mystery while fanning the flames of conspiracies that nothing had to do with Magecraft. Still, for close to a year the survivors of the War had to help the process in many ways, all the while maintaining a pretense of normal life.

Leisure wasn't something that graced Emiya's place for a long time and when things finally started to wind down for good, Illya's condition took a sharp turn for the worse, with all that it entailed.

Things such a simple walk together had become a rare luxury for all of them. One they were sure to enjoy to their fullest whenever they had the opportunity.

"Hey, Shirou?"

"Hm?" he answered uncharacteristically lazily.

"Thank you."

Shirou didn't know what she was thanking him for. He didn't think he had done anything worth any gratefulness, however that wasn't something new for the distorted Magus. He never did something for the sake of recognition and as such he gave it no value, which also implied that more often than not he did not understand what other people were being grateful for.

Rin, Sakura and to a degree Rider taught him that this was not healthy. Shirou acknowledged that this was the case, but he felt no compulsion whatsoever to correct the issue. It was a minor thing, but it was a reflection of his lack of consideration for himself whereas others were concerned. No amount of words could change that. Shirou's distortion reached all the way down to his soul and it would one day drive him to his own premature death.

Thus they bound him with their affection. The man who was not able to give appropriate value his own existence and actions was taught to be considerate of the value that other people gave to those same things. It would not stop him, but it forced him to think things through. It was a small saving grace, but it was something.

"You're welcome," he answered back. Rin wasn't the kind of person to disperse gratitude without good cause. If she did go out of her way to express it then it was something really important.

"You don't know what I'm talking about," she said flatly.

"Nope," he agreed readily. "Haven't got a clue."

Rin let out a long drawn sigh.

"The thing you said about me at the tea shop. I really appreciate it."

"Oh," he replied, blushing slightly. "Yeah. You're welcome."

"And I want you to know…," she fell silent, looking down at her feet. "I want you to know that she was right. Haruka, I mean."

Silence again. Awkward, but not uncomfortable. Still blushing, Shirou smiled a little, not so much at her profession of affection, but at the roundabout way she went about it. It seemed that even in those rare occasions in which she was openly honest with her feelings, Rin wasn't able to be direct about them.

"Thank you, Rin. I mean it."

She gave a sharp nod, but did not look up to meet his eyes even now. It was endearing how she could easily bare her body to him but she could not bear her heart in the same fashion, even after years of shared intimacy. Maybe it was this reluctance of hers that made it easy to love her in spite of her difficult and demanding character.

Tohsaka Rin was truly one of a kind. The title of 'Average One' might have been an honor among Magi, but it certainly didn't do her personality any justice.

They walked the rest of the way without saying another word, just enjoying the luxury of each other's company as well as the unusual peace.

Shinobu was setting up the table for dinner when Emiya-san returned from seeing Tohsaka-san off. She glanced up at him with a greeting on her lips but the words never left her mouth.

There was a look in his eyes she had never seen before. Not quite sadness or not only that. Perhaps melancholy?

Her heart churned a little in her small chest. Maehara Shinobu was insecure about many things, especially about herself, but if there was one thing she was sure about as of that moment was that she hated seeing him like that.

Hate was not something that came easy to her, not in the purest sense of the word at least, but in this case it slipped on her like a well-worn dress.

She didn't know what to do about it. How to restore that warmth that she had come to privately cherish. She felt more inadequate than ever. Those women that seemed so keen on hurting Emiya-san's feelings were on a completely different league than she was, both in terms of confidence and attractiveness. And yet, whereas in other matters she would have given up, she didn't want to let go.

She wanted to see him smile all the time. She wanted to be the reason for him to smile. She had known him only for a few weeks but she was falling in love with him more and more with each passing day. She would never hurt him or disregard his feeling like those women did, but she could not compete with them.

Or could she? Even if they had the upper hand now they weren't there. If she played her cards right, if she managed to make Emiya-san, Shirou, to see her like a woman maybe she had a chance? The thought alone scared her to the bone, her natural insecurities told her to not even try, however for once in her life a more powerful emotion managed to override her restrains.

Completely unheeding of Tohsaka's warning in merit she came to a determined decision, one that would change her life: to make Emiya Shirou fall in love with her for his own good.

The road to hell is truly paved with good intentions.

-XXX-

Last edited: 04.29.2015

AN: IT'S ALIVEEEEEE!

Well, this should give those people who were convinced this fic was dead something to think about. I'm making no promises about timing of future updates but this story is very much alive, it's just difficult to develop a consistent plot when I'm basically winging each arc (and sometimes each chapter). I also know this is way shorter than my usual chapters but I needed to wrap up Rin's visit so that I could started the next arc without mood-pollution from this part.

That's all for now.

Cheers.

PS: I'll be revising all the previous chapters. There should be no relevant difference in the story after I'm done, just a bit of narrative smoothing .