This is something I've had in my drafts for months and the only reason I've been able to finish it is because of Anna, who helped me out so much. So basically, the whole thing is dedicated to her because she was the one who got this back on track.
Hope you guys enjoy this, do tell me what you thought and constructive criticism is always welcome :")
Written for, Romania- (character) Remus Lupin
Word count: 2727
Remus was laughing at the animated story Sirius was telling him when it happened. Sirius' arms were flailing about as he tried to explain exactly how he was almost hugged to death by the Giant Squid and how it was most certainly not his fault that he was so irresistible.
"I am telling you, Moony, the squid does it on purpose!" Sirius exclaimed in indignation.
Remus snorted at his dramatic tone of voice, "I'm sure it does, Pads. Are you going to say that it wants to snog you next?"
Sirius shuddered at his words, pretending to retch. "I swear, you're more unhelpful than a knight of armour. Pity James had to stay back with Evans. I know he would've been a whole lot better company than you are." And he stuck his tongue out as a faux offended Remus put his hand over his heart.
Just as he opened his mouth to speak, though, they heard rattling and banging coming from their left.
The two sixth years looked at each other and it took less than a second for them to move, as if they were one, towards the partially closed classroom they could hear the sounds coming from. It sounded a lot like some poor sod locked in a cupboard. In which case, they wanted to help because both of them knew all too well how that felt.
As they reached the classroom, Remus,slightly earlier than Sirius, they looked around for the source of noise. It was Sirius who tugged at his sleeve, pointing at a rattling vanity drawer pushed towards the corner. Knowing that it wasn't possible for even the tiniest first year to be stuck in that thing, and hoping that students weren't cruel enough to make them, they cautiously walked towards the offending object, wands in their hand.
This time, it was Sirius who reached the drawer first, not allowing Remus to be near it unless he had checked it out, despite the other boy being taller and broader. His overprotectiveness was legendary among those who knew him, hence why Remus didn't bother doing anything more than sighing in resignation at his best friend's actions. He knew he wouldn't be able to argue successfully with him, and so let him do his thing, all the while keeping his wand defensively in front of him as well, ready to attack should something come of out of the drawer.
As soon as Sirius jerked his wand to silently open the rattling drawer, something greyish black in color and having no distinct shape flew out of it, high up in the air, making both the boys clutch their wands tighter. It slowly turned from the smoke like thing it was into a solid being, which was about the time Remus understood what this was.
"Sirius! No, get ba-!" He tried to warn the younger boy, who was looking at the thing with equal parts apprehensions and confusion.
But it was too late as the boggart had already transformed into an Older Sirius who looked eerily similar to the real Sirius but had quite some striking differences as well. He was taller, not as skinny either. His mouth was twisted in a cruel sneer, not unlike the one his cousin Bellatrix usually wore, and his stormy grey eyes held emotions Remus fervently wished never to see in his friend.
They were glinting with malice, and sadistic amusement. Amusement, it was made clear to Remus as he forced his eyes to look at what the Boggart Sirius' wand was pointed at, aimed towards the writhing body on the floor. A body, he realized with growing horror, that belonged to none other than James Potter. It looked as if the Potter Heir had gone through more than a few rounds of the Cruciatus put upon him.
It was at this moment that Boggart Sirius decided to speak. "Like that, Potter? It's something I created just for you." His voice was filled with hate and arrogance.
Boggart James looked up, something that was quite painful for him to do by the looks of it. When he spoke, drops of blood spattered onto the floor. "Si-Sirius no-no. Thi-this isn't you. You know that. It's me, Prongs, your best mate, come on. You're not like them, Pads." His words were pleading, broken, just like he seemed to be. This, however, had no effect on Boggart Sirius who simply gave out a cruel laugh that made Remus wince.
"You think I care about you, Potter? You think I care what a mudblood-loving blood traitor like you says? No. I finally realized my worth, and you? You are worth less than the dirt under my feet. AVADA KEDAVRA!"
"NOOOOOOOO." The anguished scream came not from the Boggart James who had just been cursed, but the boy on his left which reminded Remus that he wasn't alone, and he cursed himself for forgetting that Sirius was there, especially during something like this. He looked around him and saw that Sirius had fallen to his knees, his arms outstretched, fingers grabbing at the air, as if trying to get back the Boggart that had somehow vanished.
At once, Remus dropped down beside his best friend, wrapping his arms around him, trying to comfort him as much as he could. He knew it was futile though, no one other than James had ever seen Sirius display his emotions without his usual guard up and one look at the younger Marauder told Remus that the other boy was dangerously close to a breakdown and wouldn't appreciate anyone seeing him in such a state.
He held Sirius firmly, and pulled him up to his feet, mentally thinking of all the shortcuts he could take to get to Gryffindor Tower faster, knowing that was where James would be right now. He quickly, but gently, carried Sirius with him, who by now, realizing that he wasn't in a deserted classroom anymore, had stopped crying and made sure to remove any traces of having done so and the cold mask he had perfected in his childhood came over his face, blocking all emotions and keeping his face stoic, making sure no one saw them. In what seemed like years, but was actually five minutes, they reached the Portrait of the Fat Lady.
"Password," she said in her usual flowery voice, tinged with a slight hint of confusion at seeing Sirius Black burrowed into Remus' shoulder.
"Wanglewort," Remus replied tightly, not wanting to draw any attention to themselves, and hoping the Fat Lady would just open the door dammit.
Luckily for him, the portrait door swung open as soon as the last syllable was out of his mouth. Remus climbed through it, still supporting Sirius, silently thanking Merlin the Common Room was almost empty, today being a Sunday.
He wildly looked around for James, when he spotted him near the fireplace with his feet hanging off the edge of the armchair he was sitting on. He was too relieved to even notice Lily glaring at James as she attempted to get him to pay attention to some schedule.
"Prongs!" He called out in a strangled voice, not wanting Lily to get a chance to see Sirius like this. "Prongs, Sirius needs you."
At those words, James' head immediately shot up, and when he saw the emotionless expression on his best mate's face, he immediately knew something was wrong. He jumped off the couch, ignoring Lily's indignant shout for him to come back and do his work. He was at Sirius' side in an instant, his hands going up to cradle the younger boy's face with extreme tenderness.
"What happened, Moony?" He asked in a soft voice, not able to see his brother like this, knowing that in the handful of times he had seen Sirius in such a state, his wretched family was always responsible for it.
"I-I can-can't. It's better if you see it, Prongs. It's not something I can explain. Hell, I myself don't know what happened." Remus ran a hand through his hair as James looked at him in shock. He could understand why; he had basically given him permission to enter his mind. James' eyes seemed to ask 'that bad?', to which Remus could only nod.
Slowly, James got up, his left hand never shifting from Sirius' face while his right gripped his wand, somewhat shakily, as if afraid of what was to come.
He pointed his wand at Remus, ignoring the gasps coming from behind, and spoke clearly, "Legilimens." Immediately, he saw various images passing in front of his eyes, disregarding them for the specific memory he wanted. As soon as he the thought crossed his mind, Remus' mind supplied him with it. When he saw what had happened in the unused classroom on the fourth floor just ten minutes prior, he closed his eyes in anguish, now knowing exactly what had affected his best friend so badly. It was his two worst fears combined into one, no wonder Sirius was reduced to such a mess.
Gathering himself enough to exit Remus' mind, he flashed the werewolf a grateful smile for he had seen the way he had shielded the younger boy from prying eyes. He then lifted the boy in question bridal style in his arms, heart breaking a little to realize that he could still do it with absolutely no hindrance, and carried him up to their dorm.
As soon as James walked out of sight, Remus collapsed on the armchair James had previously occupied with a large sigh, fingers running over his face in an attempt to understand what just happened. He knew how much Sirius loathed the Blacks, everyone did, he even knew that his worst fear was ending up as bigoted and cruel as them. However, James in that scene didn't quite fit in until Remus thought of all the times he had seen the Potter and Black heirs together. Their behaviour was always slightly different around each other. While no one could deny that all four of the marauders were as close as could be, there was just something a little extra in their friendship, something that most people only dreamt of achieving. It was no surprise then, Remus concluded, that Sirius' worst fear would be James dying. In fact, he was almost sure that if he put a boggart in front of James, it would turn into an image of Sirius dying, with James not being able to do anything to help him. Despite all the horrors they'd seen, and knew the world to be capable of, their worst fears would always be each other dying.
"Honestly. I don't know what Professor McGonagall was thinking assigning actual responsibility to Potter," An irritated voice spoken beside him startled him out of his thoughts and he turned around to see Lily Evans, frustration swimming in her bright green eyes.
Remus cocked his head in question. "What's wrong, Lily?"
'What's wrong?" she repeated bitingly. "James Potter is what's wrong. That boy can't sit down for one minute to do some actual work. It's not been a week since the term has started and he's already off frolicking with Black."
Remus blinked in shock at her acidic words. Had she not seen the way James had to carry Sirius in his arms? When he repeated the same to her, she gave him a blank look.
"I'm telling you, Remus, all they're doing up there is plotting their next prank. I wouldn't be surprised if it was just a way to get him out of his duties. I just asked him to give me a schedule for his Quidditch tryouts so it doesn't clash with other things, but no. That's too hard for the Almighty James Potter." Lily scowled.
Remus, however, knew he couldn't stay there much longer and listen to her talk that way without blurting out Sirius' current state to her and knowing how grave a mistake that would be, chose to quietly make his excuses and leave, mind still whirling with images of Sirius and his boggart.
Upstairs, James had managed to lay Sirius down on his bed and sat down beside him. He wrapped an arm around his shoulders and with his other hand lifted Sirius' head so he was looking directly into his closed-off grey eyes. Grey eyes that were usually alight with mischief were now dead. There was no other way to describe it.
There were so many shields around them, so many layers that James couldn't see anything and it was making him panic. Sirius' eyes were always expressive, even if it is just twinkling with mischief. They were never closed off and that scared him more than anything.
"Padfoot," he called, rocking his shoulder gently in an attempt to draw his attention. It didn't work.
"Sirius," he spoke more firmly this time. This time, Sirius looked at him, though his eyes were still unfocused and hazy, making James shiver.
"Sirius, listen to me. What you saw in there; It. Wasn't. True," he made sure to enunciate each word, wanting Sirius to know what he was saying.
But the other boy just blinked, showing no signs of even listening to his voice. James sighed, knowing there was one thing he could do but not liking the fact that he had to do it. Any other time and he would've done without complaint, even happily, but not when Sirius was in such a state.
He pulled his hand back and slapped the raven-haired boy hard on his right cheek.
It worked, because Sirius started spluttering, eyes blinking rapidly and fingers shaking. James quickly placed his hands on Sirius', interlacing their fingers together to slow the trembling. He looked into Sirius' eyes, heart breaking when he saw the panic and the fear and the self-loathing in those grey eyes that were always so cheerful.
"Padfoot," he whispered painfully, not being able to see his brother like this. "Padfoot, it's okay."
"I-I-I-It's no-no-not, Pr-Prongs. I-I, I ki-ki," he broke off at that, his fear making him stutter badly.
"Padfoot, I know what you saw, and I'm telling you right now, that's not you. You would never do something like that."
Sirius immediately started shaking his head rapidly, "No no no no no no, you-you don't know that. It's, It's a very real possibility, Prongs. I-I have every chance of turning into, into that."
James' heart broke at the sheer, raw fear that he heard in his best mate's voice. He closed his eyes tightly for just a moment, taking in a deep breath because it would not do for him to break down right now, not when Sirius needed him.
"Sirius, listen to me," he said firmly. When he did, he continued, "I know you better than anyone else, and I know that there is no chance at all that you ever turn out like them. I know how much you hate them, how much you loathe their principles. And I know how hard you try to be as different from as possible."
"But James, that's what I grew up with, there is no guarantee-" Sirius tried again but James wasn't going to let him even say something like that.
"No," he interrupted. "There is a guarantee that you won't end up like them. And it's right in front of me. This..this remorse, and this fear is what makes you not like them. Do you think you have cared about what you saw had you been even remotely like them? Do you think you would have reacted like this if there was any chance of that ever happening?"
At his words, Sirius hung his head, his black hair forming a curtain around his face. He didn't say anything else, but his arms hesitantly came up to wrap around James' waist.
James smiled, and wrapped his own arms around him, wishing he could protect his brother like this all the time. "I know it's hard to believe, Padfoot. But I refuse to have you thinking you're even remotely similar to...to those monsters."
"In fact, at this point," James grinned, "you're more of a Potter than a Black, what with all that recklessness and impulsive bravery."
James' heart warmed when he saw Sirius' lips twitching at that, secure in the knowledge that they would get past this.