Authors Note: HEYO! XD Please tell me what you think; I would love to know XD I own nothing and no one, apart from the following: Zane,Gabriel (Gabe), Chase, Jonah, Simon, Sam.

JUST SO YOU KNOW: like everyone else, I have no idea what Stiles' real name is, so I'm going along with what everyone else puts :) and I've made his middle name up XD

You guys are all so amazing and I love you all! In a non-creepy non-psycho kind of way XD

Please, please review XD

Chapter 18

Stiles

It was the night after Thanksgiving – Friday, November 29th – that it happened. I was lying on my bed, in my room, staring up at the white ceiling. And it just... It just hit me. The realisation shocked me enough that I almost fell off of the bed, thanks to the jolt my body gave from the surprise. I never saw it coming, not at all.

I mean, who would have thought that I would ever come to terms with actually liking – as in hopelessly attracted to – Derek Hale.

Sure, he's an awesome guy, sometimes a little on the sour side... But there was something about him that just made me like him that extra bit more. Like him in a way I didn't the others in his Pack. I refused to think it was because we were Mates. I would never be so lucky as to find mine. I didn't deserve to find that one person meant for me. Too much shit had gone on in my pathetic excuse of a life to convince me that I am so not worthy of that sort of happiness.

But not even that could stop what I was feeling for the Alpha wolf of Beacon Hills.

It was a first, that's for sure.

I mean, I never even felt this way about anyone, not even Zane. With Zane...I guess it was just the idea of someone actually caring about me and not judging me that I fell for, not actually him. But with Derek? It was so much more than that. He made everything easier – literally.

He can calm me down with just a touch and I would barely even flinch when his hand made contact with my shoulder. No one had ever been able to do that with me before, not even my mom.

Derek was different.

If only I had the change to have that stupid cliché of a happy ending that script writers love so much...

After depressing myself with thoughts of wanting-but-never-being-able-to-have-Derek, I left my room and pretty much dragged myself downstairs. It was late enough that everyone was asleep, but it wasn't too late.

This happened every Friday, all of them going to sleep earlier than they did on Saturday, because they were so tired from class.

So I was alone downstairs, no one else around.

Sighing, I trudged into the kitchen, deciding that a nice big cup of coffee was exactly what I needed right now. There was no way I would be getting to sleep tonight, and I didn't feel like reading. All the 'love' drama in those books would just make me think, which would only worsen my mood.

"I had all day to think about this." I muttered to myself. "Why the hell did it have to come up now?"

I could have been asleep. I mean, sure, I would have woken up after having yet another nightmare, but at least I would have been able to have gotten in at least a couple hours of rest.

But who would want to sleep when you could have coffee? The liquid was warm and sweet, just how I liked it. Well, of course it would be how I liked it if I was the one that had made it. I sat down at the kitchen table, leaning back in the chair as I drank. The quiet, for some unknown reason, felt nice. I sometimes hated it, mainly because it reminded me so much of being left alone in that basement with only myself for company.

But other times, I just loved it. Being able to think without anyone interrupting or anything.

Now was one of those times, even if I really didn't want to think about any of this right now.

I had only been sitting there for twenty minutes, my coffee long gone, when I heard a slight rustle of leaves from outside. It wasn't from the wind or an animal, the movement was too small. The movement was too...accidental.

Slowly, I stood up from where I was sitting, walking towards the back door – which was in the kitchen. Unlocking it as quietly as I could, I opened it just enough for me to slip outside and shut the door behind me.

It was a cold night and I was barefoot, but I ignored that in favour of honing in on hearing, listening out for that slight moving again, subtly sniffing the air to see if I could get a catch of its scent.

That's when I caught it. Something burning. Metal. Blood.

My eyes started flashing between just red, just purple and half and half, going round and round in an endless circle. My claws elongated, fangs starting to drop. This couldn't have happened at a more perfect time. I mean, I was still pissed about this whole thing with Chase – still couldn't believe I had to take the time off school, even after I was proved innocent –, and I wanted this thing dead.

Silently, I started to move through the forest as my ears and tail started to appear, my eyes still flashing between colours.

This was going to be fun.

Waking up on the ground, with sticks and stones digging into your back, isn't a pleasant experience... But it was better than waking up on a basement floor. Lifting my head up, I groaned as my vision started to blur and my head started to pound.

It took me a moment to realise that I was covered in blood, both my own and...someone/something else's. For a moment, I panicked, wondering what the fuck I had done, wondering who I had hurt. I started panicking over whether it was one of the wolves, or Allison or an innocent person here in Beacon Hills, just taking a stroll through the forest.

My stomach dropped with that thought. With the thought that I would be exactly what everyone thought I was already.

But then it hit me.

The faint scent of something burning, metal and blood.

And it all came rushing back to me.

The Spring Heeled Jack jumped down from one of the high branches, lunging at me and swiping at me with its claws. I had moved out the way quickly, but as time went one I started to come down from my caffeine high. He got the better of me, claws scratching over my chest. The marks weren't as deep as the ones he gave to Derek, but they still bled excessively. The combination of blood loss and losing my caffeine high were enough to make me have to sit down before, eventually, falling asleep.

But he could have killed me, while he had the chance. So why didn't he?

With my stomach protesting, I dragged myself up onto my feet, using the trees and the side of the house to get me back to the kitchen door.

Of course, I wasn't expecting everyone to be in the kitchen when I walked in through the door...

To say they were all surprised was an understatement. Everyone went quiet, eyes wide, the scent of shock coming from each of them, one person emitting anger... But I didn't look into it all that much.

"Guess I have to explain, huh?" I chuckled, tiredly.

"You think?!" Scott demanded.

By the time I finished, I was sitting in the usual chair, coffee and food in front of me. Sure, they were pissed that I went after it on my own. Saying that it was dangerous and I could have been killed, and so on and so on. But none of them were as mad as Derek was...

Derek kept quiet throughout the whole thing, but sitting so close allowed me to see him shaking ever so slightly, the small tightening of his jaw, the way he just tensed all over and curled his hand into a fist on his leg.

I felt bad. I really did. And it sucked, because I hated feeling bad. I hated knowing that I was the reason for making someone so furious or upset. So I just shrunk back in the chair, curling in on myself and letting my head hang. It's what I would do whenever my dad was mad...though it always ended in him beating the shit out of me for 'being disrespectful' for not looking him in the eye. But then, whenever I did look him in the eye, he would say I was 'being disrespectful' for thinking I could look at him.

Right now, I had no idea which I should be doing or what would happen if I chose wrong. So I just looked down, hoping to God that nothing was said.

I had drowned out all sound of the others complaining, going on and on about how I could have been hurt so much worse than I already was. I just stared at the table, pushing the bacon around on my plate, not feeling very hungry.

It was then someone's hand came down sharply onto the table, the bang and the rattle of cutlery so loud in the echo-y room.

Isaac and I pretty much jumped out of our seats, backing away slowly, wide eyed and breathing harshly. While I started shaking slightly, I noticed that Isaac was completely lost. His eyes had glazed over as he backed out of the kitchen, kept walking backwards until his back hit the wall in the hallway. He knocked into a table along the way, sending a glass vase crashing to the ground, the sound of the shattering glass making him flinch and whimper.

I was still living with my dad at the time, but I ran away when he saw my cheek heal, after he threw a glass pitcher above my head and it cut me. That's what Isaac had told me when he was helping me after I had walked into that knife.

A glass vase would sound a hell of a lot like a glass pitcher when it smashed...

I was the first one over to Isaac, closely followed by Danny, Derek and the rest of them. I crouched down on Isaac's left, Danny on his right, trying to snap him out of the flashback, trying to stop him from going too deep into his panic.

But it had already consumed him.

He looked more like a scared little boy than an eighteen year old dude who had a family that loved him. His eyes were widening even further, the blue starting to flake with a golden yellow.

"Shit." I breathed. "Just had to hit the fucking table, didn't you."

I threw the last part over my shoulder, towards the other nine. Since I didn't know exactly who did it, I couldn't look at them right in the eye or say a name but, man;I was going to make them feel fucking guilty!

"Can't believe I'm going to do this." I muttered to myself, cracking my knuckles and rolling my shoulders.

As I reached my hands out towards a shaking Isaac, Danny grabbed onto my wrist. I flinched before looking up into his worried eyes, understanding what must be going through his mind right now – sympathy is so much stronger when you can smell how people feel...

"What are you going to do?" Danny asked, quietly and quickly.

"Help him." I said. "And if I'm going to do it, I need to do it now. I'll explain after. Just... For now, just hold him still. It won't be as effective if he's moving so much."

Danny nodded slowly, moving closer to his boyfriend, wrapping his arms around him. Isaac fought for a moment, screaming at the top of his lungs that he was sorry and that he didn't want to go in the freezer again.

By the whine from Danny, I knew it was breaking his heart.

But after a moment of Danny whispering to and holding Isaac, the blonde managed to still enough for me to get to work. And just in time to.

Without waiting another second, I moved my hands forward, placing one on Isaac's shoulder and my other on the back of his neck. I closed my eyes, murmuring the Latin words 'et cessabit' four times, before neon white spindly lines ran up both my arms, across my shoulders, around my neck and into my hairline. Some of the lines would have crossed over my face to go into my hair line, while a few would have gone into my eyes. My eyes which were now completely black, with a small slakes of white from where the lines on my skin were being absorbed.

I kept repeating the two Latin words every now and again, whenever I felt the panic start to rise inside of the boy again.

But as Isaac started to calm down, no longer shaking or whimpering, starting to come back to himself...I was the one that started to shake. I was the one who started to panic ever so slightly. I was the one that was seeing and feeling everything Isaac's bastard father did to him.

All the fear.

All the anger.

All the scars.

All the blood.

All the tears.

All the pain.

It all hit me like a ton of bricks, all of it crashing down on me. It occurred to me that I was now going to have to go through day to day life knowing what happened to the sweet, happy kid in front of me, whilst also trying to deal with everything that happened back in Dallas. Was that going to be what gave me the final push to end it all?

I heard voices, all of them sounding so very far away, even Isaac's. Everything was so far away that I didn't even react to the hand that was suddenly placed onto my shoulder, the weight and warmth of it only just registering.

I couldn't pull away; I couldn't stop taking his pain away. There was so much just hiding away that no one knew about, so much that he hadn't told anyone about. And now I was seeing it all. Though that should never happen, I had never been able to see the memories that were causing such pain and distress before.

But then I was being pulled away.

Strong arms wrapped around me from behind, taking my arms away, before wrapping around my torso and helping me to stand. I only just noticed Danny pulling Isaac up with him, not letting the slightly shorter boy go once they were standing.

"Wh-What the hell was that?" Allison asked, hesitantly.

"Foxy powers." I laughed, weakly, breathlessly.

The arms slowly let go of me as I found my feet – and a grip on the hallway table. Man, did I feel dizzy.

"Stiles, are you ok?" Jackson asked, slowly.

"Yeah, 'm fine." I muttered. "Just need to lie down."

I took one step towards the living room before collapsing. The last thing I remembered was being caught by the same strong arms.

When I woke up, I was surrounded by heat.

That was the only thing that registered.

Just...heat.

All around me.

Shit! I'm on fire!

My eyes snapped open as I threw myself across the room, regretting it the moment my stomach churned and I collapsed to the floor again, this time staying awake. I groaned as I hit the cold ground, the burning heat passing.

But then I took a look around.

I hadn't been on fire.

I had only been surrounded by werewolves.

Who were now looking freaked out and concerned.

"Sorry." I croaked. "Werewolves are warm. Thought I was on fire."

The all nodded slowly as Derek stood up from where he had been propped up on the floor – everyone was lying there in a puppy pile – walking over to give me a hand up. As I took the offered hand, I looked back to the puppy pile, noticing that the two spots missing – the spots that Derek and I had left – were both in the middle.

I had been pressed between Derek and one of the Betas...

Now my stomach was being a nuisance for a completely different reason...

"You alright?" Derek asked, softly, not removing his hand from mine once I was standing.

"Yeah..." I nodded. "Just feeling a little weak."

When he started walking again, pulling me with him, I thought everyone was going to go to their usual seats in the living room.

Nope.

I was dragged back into the puppy pile, squashed between Derek and Isaac.

For a long moment, no one said a word. We all just stayed quiet. I was thankful for that to be honest, it gave me time to get used to the – what I can only describe as the – largest cuddle fest that was going on.

I mean, it was nice... I liked the non-harmful contact from other people.

"Thanks, Stiles." Isaac suddenly whispered, his hand finding my wrist, tightening his grip for a moment before letting go.

I just turned my head, giving the kid a small smile, nodding slightly, as I relaxed further into the blankets and pillows that we were all lying on.

"What did you do?" Boyd asked, head popping up from the other end of the pile.

Sighing slightly, I sifted until I was a little more comfortable, preparing myself to try and explain.

"We were-foxes have abilities like werewolves. Werewolves are super-healers and can take the pain of an injury away from people." I explained. "Were-foxes can take pain away from the memories people are remembering, which can bring them out of panic attacks. I absorbed Isaac's pain and panic into myself. But..."

"But what?" Danny asked.

"Bear in mind that this had never happened when I've used this particular ability before, but..." I told them, before turning to Isaac. "I saw everything your dad did to you. I felt it. As if I was you."

Isaac's eye widened, a small amount of panic starting to cross his face.

"I'm not going to say anything." I covered, quickly. "I just thought I should let you know."

He nodded jerkily, still wide eyed, before sinking back into the pillows and blankets as Danny pressed a little tighter into his back, tightening his arms around the younger.

"You should go to sleep." Derek told me. "You're exhausted."

I opened my mouth to argue, but all that came out was a long yawn. So, admitting defeat, I just lay down, knowing this time who was around me.

"And when you wake up you can deal with the Spring Heeled Jack." Derek whispered as everyone else fell asleep too. "He didn't expect all of us to go after him for hurting you."

That was pretty much the last thing I remembered before I fell asleep yet again.

I didn't wake up until Sunday – December 1st – morning. Tomorrow I would be going back to school – finally!

I was still pressed tightly between wolves when I woke up, but this was different to when I had first found myself in the puppy pile. I was now facing Isaac, a gap between the two of us, while my back was pressed firmly against Derek's chest. Derek who had one arm thrown over me, hand pressed to my chest, pulling me back even further. His face was pressed into the back of my neck, small puffs of arm sending small tremors down my back.

I should not like this so much! Very bad Stiles! Very, very bad Stiles!

I kept as still as I could; hoping that at some point Derek would just...roll away.

So I waited.

And waited.

And waited some more.

Derek just stayed exactly where he was. If possible he moved closer!

Why was I not freaking out over this?! It didn't make sense!

But soon I couldn't keep still any longer, I had to get up and move! So, slowly and carefully, I removed myself from the pile, placing the pillow that had been under my head under Derek's arm... A long shot, yeah, but it actually seemed to work.

After coming back downstairs, the first thing I did – instead of going to the kitchen – was head towards the training room. I was using my nose to guide me, manoeuvring my way through the large house towards the one place I wanted to be.

I was surprisingly calm throughout the whole thing, taking slow measured steps through the halls towards the door. I could hear the sounds of someone struggling as I got closer, a chair moving and ropes rubbing...

I came to the door at the end of the hall, pushing it open slowly. There, in the centre of the room, the bastard that killed the majority of the only family I knew was tied to a chair, gagged. Well...that made me job a hell of a lot easier.

I closed and locked the door after I stepped in, keeping calm and my expression blank. It was as soon as the lock slid into place that I shifted, going from human to full fox.

Bearing my teeth, I knew I was going to have fun with this... And it was always great that I could influence the different elements when in this form.

Everyone was starting to wake up as I made my way from the training room to the kitchen. I said nothing to them, just disappeared through the door, starting on the coffee and breakfast.

No one asked why I was staring so blankly at everything or why I was talking less than usual. They just left me to it. I made a mental note to thank them all later.

Of course, later, the Betas – and Peter – all disappeared outside, leaving only Derek and I in the leaving room with some stupid programme on, which neither of us were watching. Well, I don't know if staring at the TV counted as me watching it, but I was going to say no.

I had turned onto my back when I heard one character say 'one way or another, you're gunna die'. Now that was not something I needed to hear...

FLASHBACK – Sunday, July 19th 2009: 15 Year Old Stiles

"One way or another, I will kill you." he snarled, raising the whip higher than before, snapping it down quickly.

A chocked sob escaped me, as I shakily tried to stand up. I had only just managed when a fist collided with the side of my face, making me smash into the wall with a loud thud. With a small whimper, I tried to keep myself standing on shaking legs.

Dad growled, the animalistic growl noise sounding wrong and horrible coming from a human. Or whatever my dad was, because no person should be capable of...this. Before I knew it, the hard leather struck my back again, the force of the hit sending me down to my knees, head-butting the wall as I fell.

"I'm going to end your miserable, pathetic life." he roared, kicking me in the stomach, sending me onto my back. "Just like you ended your mothers."

"I-I'm sorry!" I cried. "I-I didn't mean to!"

"Sorry doesn't bring her back! You're a sorry excuse for a person, and you are no son of mine!"

It was then he took out his lighter, pausing only to light the cigarette in his hand before dropping it onto me. He once made a joke how he was 'taking lighting a fag to a whole new level'.

"PLEASE, STOP!" I screamed, as he pressed his foot into the metal, making the flame dig into my skin. "DAD, PLEASE!

Tears blurred my vision. Or that could have been because I was almost blacking out from the pain.

"Don't call me that, you little fag." he snarled.

END OF FLASHBACK – BACK TO: Sunday, December 1st 2013

"...iles? Stiles!" a voice was yelling.

I continued to breathe heavily, throat constricting painfully.

But then a hand was on my shoulder, the pressure reassuring. That wasn't right... Opening my eyes slowly, I found myself propped up against the sofa, Derek crouching in front of me and frowning. I only noticed then that, as well as Derek's left hand on my shoulder, his right hand was on the back of my neck... That's new.

"S-Sorry..." I stuttered, clearing my throat. "Flashbacks suck..."

"I know." he sighed. "You don't have to explain."

I nodded, the side of my mouth twitching slightly into some form of a smile.

"Thanks." I whispered. "For everything."

Derek just shrugged, helping me up off of the floor.

About two hours later, I walked out of my room – reading again – to go...well, to go do something different. I mean, come on, I got bored too!

I had started walking past Derek's room, when something caught my attention out of the corner of my eye. I turned my head towards the open door, finding a shirtless Derek – in sweats – doing sit ups. And, wow, it was nice to be able to see that when we were not training...

As I watched, I couldn't help but notice that it looked a bit too easy for him, even if he was a werewolf. And it wasn't hard to notice why.

"You know, it's not as affecting when you're feet keep coming off of the floor." I told him, leaning against the doorframe.

Derek sat up, looking over his shoulder at me

"Is that a statement, or are you offering to help?" he asked, smirking slightly.

Rolling my eyes, I pushed off of the doorframe, removing my plaid shirt as I went so I was left in the Captain America t-shirt that Derek had snuck past Lydia. I don't know if I imagined it, but I swore I saw a small smile flash across his face for a second, as if pleased that I was choosing the Superhero shirts over the ones that Lydia had chose.

But that couldn't have been right.

Kneeling down in front of him, I grabbed hold of Derek's ankles, keeping him down on the floor as he started to continue his sit ups.

I would deny any and all accusations made towards me for enjoying this... It was times like this that I was grateful that the thing Deaton gave me to cover my scent hadn't worn off yet, because if meant that Derek couldn't tell – well, smell – anything.

Man, that made me happy!

I had no idea how many he had done or how long I had been there helping him, but after a while the grip I had on Derek's ankles started to slip.

So, naturally, I shifted slightly, getting a better hold, which in turn made me tilt forward a little bit.

I did not expect Derek to push himself up faster than before, hand on the side of my face, as he pressed his lips to mine.

I completely lost my grip, making me fall forward onto Derek, pressing us together even more. Derek's other hand came up to my side to steady me, both of my hands somehow resting on his bare chest.

Once I got my head around what had actually happened, I pulled away, standing up quickly.

Derek looked up, tilting his head to the side like a puppy... I just started back at him, eyes wide. I just blinked at him as it slowly dawned on him that that shouldn't have happened.

"I'm..." I said, quietly. "Going for a walk."

I all but ran out of his room.

No words could describe how happy I was that no one was around as I ran out of the front door and into the light rain. Rain was good, rain was cold.

I sighed slightly, leaning against the outside wall of the house, breathing a little heavily as I tried to pull myself together.

Derek just kissed me.

No! Shouldn't think about that!

"Need to walk." I muttered to myself, pushing off of the wall and heading towards the forest.

Shaking my head slightly, I focused on just reaching the forest, instead of remembering the feel of Derek's skin on the palms of my hands...

And that wasn't helping...

Groaning slightly, I ran a hand through my wet hair. Maybe ripping some of it out could make me focus...

"Stiles! Hey, wait for me!"

I chose well when giving Isaac the nickname of 'Pup'.

"What's up, Pup?" I asked – heh, rhyming.

"Where you going?" he questioned, smiling.

"Forest. Walk."

"In the rain?"

"No, in the snow."

Isaac, childishly just stuck his tongue out. It shouldn't have made me laugh. I don't know why it did. I couldn't help it.

"Want to come with?" I asked, jerking my thumb towards the trees.

"Sure." Isaac grinned, as we started walking. "Danny's in the garage, working on his car. I'm not really allowed near it..."

"Yeah, I heard you took the door off."

A block of red spread over Isaac's face as he gave a sheepish smile, muttering about how it was an accident and how it wasn't his fault that the door was open and water was slippery...

I don't know how far we walked, but we ended up coming to this field, made muddy by the rain.

Isaac and I had a lot in common, besides the abusive dad's and love for comic books. We both liked Harry Potter, we both liked Queen songs. There were so many things that we could talk about, but the one thing that we both had in common that meant the most to us? The fact that we could just talk to each other about what happened in our pasts knowing that we wouldn't be judged, even if we knew the people we were talking to wouldn't do that.

Because we knew that the other had been through the same/similar things, we could just be open about all the shit that had gone on in our lives. Just get it all out, off our chests.

"Is it alright if I ask why you tried to kill your dad?" Isaac asked, hesitantly, as we walked carefully through the field.

"Well, I thought I'd repay the favour after all the times he tried to do it to me." I shrugged, shoving my hands into my jeans pockets as we walked. "As soon as we got home he pretty much beat the shit out of me."

I sighed, remembering the event easily. I hated that it was still there at the forefront of my mind.

"Zane forced me round his place later that day." I continued. "He did what he always did, ending in him beating the shit out of me too... Both of those in one day...almost killed me."

"Whoa..." Isaac muttered. "Well, you got us now. You don't have to worry about them. Ever."

"Thanks, Pup."

Isaac opened his mouth to protest, but all that came out was a surprised yip as he slipped, falling on his ass, in the mud.

If I started howling with laughter, well that was my business.

And if Isaac then proceeded to start a mud fight, well that was none of your concern...

But he totally did!

I ran back to the house, Isaac somewhere behind me with his handful of mud. I was out of breath from laughing and running, earning many confused and amused looks from everyone, who were evidently outside, on the porch, waiting for Isaac and me.

Derek raised an eyebrow, seeing the state I was in.

I opened my mouth to say sorry, but all that came out was another round of giggles.

"Well it is raining." was all I got out.

It was at that time that Isaac ran onto the scene and, with a battle cry, flung the mud in his hand towards me. Of course I ducked.

But Derek didn't.

So the Alpha got a face full of mud.

Everything went quiet as well all just kind of stared at a mud covered Derek as Isaac stepped closer to me.

I ended up breaking the silence in a matter of seconds, laughing harder than I ever had in my life, falling to the ground because of the pain in my side.

I tried to for words. Any type of words. But then I would catch a look at Derek. So I was only able to point and laugh.

And laugh,

And laugh some more.

Man, I could get used to this life.

Please review XD

Thanks so much XD