A/N: Hey there again! Just a quick comment around here, this fic came to my mind watching Inventing Anna, so we appreciate the inspiration ;) I hope you like it!
It's half past 3 a.m. on a Thursday and Harvey sleeps very peacefully in his double bed space. Donna, the opposite. She has been awake for more than an hour and can't find a suitable position where her back doesn't hurt as much or doesn't feel like her daughter is dancing inside her and crushing every one of her organs. She has done her best to not wake up Harvey, but she really doesn't stand any longer lying down, so with all the care she can take with her 34-week-old belly, she turns carefully in bed and drops her feet to the floor, holding her hands behind her back on the mattress, to give some deep breaths and then get to stand up, and even though the pain doesn't go away, it definitely feels much better.
Great, she thinks. I won't sleep tonight. "Are you already training me?" She murmurs, touching her belly with both hands.
Donna walks from one point of the room to the other, her hands behind her waist, trying to stretch her back a little, but nothing is magical and those moments are when her mind becomes a labyrinth with no way out and panic takes over her.
If she gets cranky from not sleeping now, how will she handle it when the baby is actually here?
How will she know what she needs? How will she calm her when she cries?
If she can't cope with this pain, how will she endure childbirth?
How the hell will a baby come out there? For moments, she's completely sure that there has to be a damn mistake.
Her mind stays busy in that spiral, her hands are resting on the highest shelf of the room, trying to keep her body stretched, gently moving her hips to the sides, hoping that movement will achieve something, so she doesn't listen when her husband gets up.
"Hey… What's wrong?" he murmurs and rests his hand among her omoplates, which makes her shudder.
"You scared me!" she says, annoyed.
"Sorry, it wasn't my intention. I thought you heard me." Donna snorts and he gently rubs his hand on her back. "What's it?"
"All hurts, Harvey. I don't bear to be lying down," she snorts, and he says nothing. He just gets behind her and begins massaging her shoulders with gentle pinches. "The biggest problem is my waist." She snorts again.
"Ok." He murmurs and goes down with his hands to her waist, trying to make some moves he had seen on the Internet.
"Leave it Harvey, go back to sleep."
"I don't want to sleep if you feel bad." He says, trying to stay calm. "I wanna help."
"Next time, don't share your sperm with me. That would help a lot." Donna yells and walks away from him as fast as she can, which is not very fast. In fact, her swollen feet (which she can no longer even see) don't respond as quickly as before. She turns her back to him and struggles with her tears. She feels him approaching and curses that he is such stubborn. "No Harvey, go to sleep."
"You know I won't." He responds honestly and puts his hand on her nape, gently massaging her with his fingers there. "Donna..." He murmurs gently, and she turns, but all she can do is support her crown in his chest while he massages her head gently. It had already been several weeks when a normal hug on their feet was almost impossible.
"I'm so afraid." She sobs.
Harvey sighs and kisses her head. "I understand that I can't do much, but you are not alone."
Donna raises her head and looks at him, wiping her tears with the back of her hand. "You don't send me to shit when I respond badly. That's already doing enough." She giggles in tears.
"They will give me a prize for patience."
"Harvey... I'm sorry." She sobs, breaking again.
"No, don't cry. It was a joke." He hugs her from behind, his hands join in her moving belly and he kisses the side of her face. "Stop crying, please."
"Do something to stop your daughter from moving, that I want to sleep. That way I'll stop crying."
"Maybe a hot bath will help her stop moving like she's on a dance floor." He tells her, feeling his daughter's movements.
"Maybe…" She sighs. "Come back to sleep. Now I'll fill the tub."
Harvey denies his head, his chin against her temple. "I'll go with you."
"You don't have to."
"Well, I don't have to, but I want to." He kisses her temple. "Let me take care of you, yes?"
Donna bites her lower lip and tears flood her eyes again. "You have to go to the firm tomorrow." She says, her voice is choppy.
"I know, but that doesn't matter now. Come here." Harvey lets go of her and start walking to the bathroom, stretching out his hand behind him so that Donna will take it and follow him, and that's what she does. Harvey puts the plug in the tub and begins to fill it with warm water. Meanwhile, kneels in front of his wife and starts talking to the belly. "You're riding a party there inside and you didn't invite us?" Donna can't help chuckling, but a kick from her daughter cuts off her laughter and leaves her breathless. Harvey notices her change of expression and places both of his hands on her belly. "Please honey, I know you're running out of space in there, but stop kicking mom."
Donna caresses her husband's hair, and although she feels awful, she is melting. "I hope you hear us a bit more from the other side of the skin." She whispers, seeing how her daughter's foot is marked on her skin.
Harvey kisses her belly and stands up, closes the water, and stands behind her, to gently slide her silk robe over her shoulders and take it off. Then he helps her with the rest of her clothes and he also gets naked, and this is why Donna didn't want him to come with her, because many of her movements are slowed and feels too huge and heavy, no matter how much confidence she has with him, being naked trying to sit in the tub in front of him makes her feel vulnerable. Still, Harvey helps her with all his love and patience and then settles in behind her.
"Donna..." He murmurs, his lips against her hair. "Try to relax. You know if you don't relax, she won't either."
Donna purses her face and closes her eyes tightly. "I don't like that you have to look at me like this, Harvey."
"Like this?" he murmurs, his lips depositing kisses on her head, while one of his hands is on her belly and the fingers of the other draw abstract figures on her arm.
"Fat, clumsy, unable to move." She sobs.
"You're pregnant, Donna, not overweight." He responds and guides her gently, so she stops being so tight and rests her back on his torso. "I still find it amazing that our daughter is in your belly." He murmurs and it's true. He still doesn't finish understanding it. "And your body has changed, of course, but Donna, you have our daughter in your body."
"Yes, I know that." She says wryly. These last few weeks were already being too uncomfortable and only getting worse every day.
"You know I've always admired you, but I've never admired you as much as in recent months. Everything you've done, everything you've stopped doing, how you've taken care of yourself and put Avery's needs first, how you've put your body at her service." Donna hears him and tears fall down her eyes. "You don't have to be ashamed. You've done so much, so much Donna, that the least I can do is try to help you and support you in what I can."
"I don't want you to stop looking at me like you always have."
"It has changed the way I look at you, but not the way you're thinking. Have you heard anything I've said?"
Donna giggles against her will. "Yes, I have heard it."
"Okay, because it's the truth."
Donna covers her face with her hands and begins to sob as if tears were born from her bowels. "I hate that you can't hug me."
Harvey hugs her by the shoulders, holding her against him, and also surrounds her with his legs. "Who said I can't?"
Donna giggles and the mixture of crying and laughing makes her hiccup and the two laugh. "You are a fool."
"Well, thank you for the part that I have. I'm trying to make you feel better and all you have to tell me is that I'm a fool?"
Donna turns her head just so she can look at him. "No, it's not the only thing I have to say." She says honestly. "I couldn't without you."
Harvey gives her a kiss on her forehead and gets closer to her face. "Yes, you could, because you are wonderful, but either way, here you have me. Always."
"Seriously, do you still love me?" she asks, her voice almost imperceptible, not even being able to look at him.
"I still love you, more than ever. You and our baby are absolutely the most important thing for me." He says, his fingers placed on her chin so she looks at him again, his other hand reaching for her belly again. "I love both of you so much, Donna. You never doubt it."
She sniffles while nodding her head. "I can't even stand myself, Harvey." She sighs. "Sorry."
"Stop apologizing and stop feeling guilty. You don't have to do it with me. You have the most complicated part here and you are doing very well."
"That I carry the most complicated part, for sure, because you don't have anyone nailed their limbs to your organs right now... but I don't know if I'm doing it right."
"Do you trust me?" she nods. "Then, believe me, you are doing well." He gives her a tender kiss on the lips. "Come on, try to relax a little, so we can all rest for a while."
"But hug me…" she sobs again.
"Always, Donna." Harvey wraps her by her shoulders and chest, dragging his nose through her hair, and there they stay, for several minutes, Donna with her hands in her belly and he wrapping her. "Imagine when we are like this, but with her in your chest." He whispers with a smile.
She smiles and turns her head, which rests on his shoulder, to kiss him on the side of his neck. "I'm terrified of childbirth, but if we take away that tiny detail, I can't wait to have her here with us." She pauses. "This has already been too uncomfortable in recent weeks."
"Tiny detail?"
"Tiny is the place she's supposed to go out." She purses her face and sighs. "Promise me you will be there with me."
"You know I will be with you, but I will repeat it to you as many times as necessary."
"Yes, but I need you to be awake and not faint, sir 'I see blood and my pressure lowers'."
Harvey chuckles against her forehead. "I have a plan not to faint."
"A plan?" she is a little surprised.
"You trust me."
"Why do you think I will accept surprises from you just that day?"
"It's not the big deal. I just thought about having coke and chips there. I guess that will keep me stable."
Donna sighs. "If you leave me alone, I will never forgive you." She growls.
"I won't, I promise."
"You almost fainted last year when I cut my hand."
"Donna Paulsen, can you trust your husband?"
"I don't know." She giggles.
"You're already mocking me. That means you feel better."
"Yes, a little." She sighs and drops herself further on him.
"Is she quieter?" he asks, lowering his hand and joining it with one of hers. "I don't see her moving that much."
"That seems…" she yawns. "Back to bed?" Harvey nods and stands first, and although Donna refuses, he helps her get up and even dries her body with a towel as he kisses her skin and she says nothing, because she hates to be so vulnerable, and because all the changes and discomfort are making her crazy, but her heart melts when he takes care of her in that way.
Later, they are back in bed. Donna lies on her side, trying to find the pose she can best breathe in, and Harvey hugs her from her back, gives her a kiss on her cheek and their hands join on her belly.
"Thank you, Harvey." She murmurs. "Really, I would have already left and slammed the door, losing all my patience."
"I'm not going to deny that sometimes I wanted to do it, but I know I would regret it after 3 seconds." He gives her another kiss on her cheek. "Rest honey, you need it."
"Can I ask you to hug me until I fall asleep? I don't think it will take longer."
"You can ask me for anything you want."
"Don't faint in childbirth."
"Stop it, I won't."
"I know good lawyers to sue you in case you don't keep your word."
Harvey giggles against her neck. "I love you, Donna." He murmurs between kisses on her neck. "You have no idea how much."
She bites her lip, guilty. "Sorry if I seem to doubt it. I just have moments where my mind doesn't stop, but I swear I know it. You make me feel it all the time." She mutters.
"I know, and I don't mind repeating it to you as many times as necessary."
Donna smiles. "I love you, Harvey. A lot." She squeezes his hand. "We both love you."
Harvey smiles like a fool, like every time his wife speaks in the plural. "And I love both of you." He drags his nose behind his ear and Donna sighs, relaxing. "Sleep. I stay here until you fall asleep." He murmurs and gives her a kiss on the temple. "And all your life." Donna smiles and drags her thumb in his hand. Within a few minutes, she finally falls asleep.
If you've read it, I'd love to hear what you think! See you in the next