Authors Note: HEYO! XD Please tell me what you think; I would love to know XD I own nothing and no one, apart from the following: Sam Campbell, Charlie Jones, Zane, Chase, Gabriel, Ben, Mia, Harlequin (Harley),Stiles' fox = Melrakki (Rak), Stiles' wolf = Okami (Oki), Derek's wolf = Cana, Diego, Serena.
JUST SO YOU KNOW: like everyone else, I have no idea what Stiles' real name is, so I'm going along with what everyone else puts :) and I've made his middle name up XD
Please, please review XD
You guys are all so amazing and I love you all! In a non-creepy non-psycho kind of way XD
SORRY FOR THE LONG WAIT, BUT I'VE JUST STARTED UNIVERSITY!
Chapter 46
Stiles
It had already been agreed that, once Charlie came home, she and Sam would take a week, maybe a little more, to themselves. Given how Sam had fallen off the wagon a little, I didn't blame either of them. To be honest, I think we all needed a bit of a break too! I mean, we had gone from the hype of Pride to spending a rather hectic week with Sam - it took a lot out of you!
Don't get me wrong, I loved Sam! Sam had, quite literally, become my sister over few months I had known her. She was my best friend, a friend I had found all on my own, so of course I loved the big ball of crazy. But even I had my limits. Besides, I think she was going to enjoy some time away from us too - especially since she would be with Charlie.
So, yeah, we were all going to take about a week to regroup.
That first day, we just had a lazy day. No one wanted to do anything or go anywhere. That was why it was the perfect opportunity for me to slip out of the house. I left a note! I didn't just up and leave. No, I wouldn't do that to them. I left a note, telling them I had just gone out to run a few...personal errands.
It was a secret. A surprise.
I had to drive a while - I needed to go somewhere no one knew me, somewhere I would actually be allowed in. So I went back to Redding, to the mall Derek had taken Harley and I. See, I had seen it there. A dark little shop, tucked away. You wouldn't see it unless you were really looking.
I had already called, making sure they would be able to fit me in. I booked myself in on the phone there and then, not wanting to run the risk of losing my chance to do this. I had been waiting for so long, knowing for a long time that I wanted this done... I didn't want to run the risk of being turned away.
The moment I walked into the shop, I found two people leaning on the counter.
One was a guy. Latino, early thirties, the full tattoo sleeves shown off by the loose tank top he wore. Tattoos poked out from the arms holes of the tank top, but the sleeves were the only ones visible to me. A light dusting of dark facial hair covered his face, the hair on his head dyed a fiery red, the sides shaved with the rest gelled into a Mohawk. The entire shell of his left ear was pierced, an array of small hooped earrings trailing down it. Now, normally, I didn't like that kind of thing. But it suited him.
The other was a woman, somewhere between her late twenties to mid thirties, it was too hard to tell. Her skin was a beautiful mahogany, hair dyed this brilliant blue. The right side of her head was shaved, fairly close to her scalp, whilst the hair on the left side was braided. It wasn't just one entire braid, they were all in little braids, gathered and tied loosely around her neck. From what I could see, tattoos covered her entire body - from her neck all the way to her ankles. Her nose was pierced, a simple stud, along with a bar through her eyebrow, a lobe and upper lobe piercing and even an industrial piercing.
If you saw them on the streets, you would probably judge them. You probably wouldn't have the best idea of them. Just like you wouldn't me. But the way they were talking to each other, they way they were smiling, the easy and open body language they had both adopted... Well, it was a little difficult to see them as bad people.
"You must be Stiles." the woman grinned when she saw me, her voice coated with a slight New Orleans accent. "I'm Serena, this here's Diego."
"You know what you'd like, amigo?" Diego asked, leaning further over the counter.
Nodding, I pulled out my sketchbook from my bag. As I walked towards the counter, I flipped the book open to the right page, placing it down to show them both fourteen designs.
"You came prepared. I like that." Serena chuckled. "Know where you want them?"
"Course." I nodded. "Think we can get them all done today?"
"We can try."
You probably guessed I was at a tattoo parlour. Hell, you may have already guessed what I was getting done! It was strange, being back in one. Especially since it was actually legal for me to be there, this time.
I had Serena doing my tattoos, Diego staying near the counter, just in case. To be honest, I think I preferred that. I much rather had a woman be touching me to get them done. It hadn't taken her long to see where I wanted them, it didn't take her long to stencil out the ones going on my back. All I had to do was sit there and wait.
"You gotta lotta scars, Hon." she said as she worked. "That why you gotta lotta tattoos?"
I just gave a single sharp nod. I wasn't going to divulge my life story to this woman. I mean, why would I do that?
"I'm the same. Couple years ago, got told I'd breast cancer." Serena explained. "Had both removed. They said I could have surgery done, have fake ones put in... I didn't want that, so I just covered the scars with tattoos. Got my Diego to do 'em. Use this padding to make it look like I still go 'em, though. Makes life a little easier, ya know?"
"I understand." I whispered. "How long have the two of you been together?"
Looking over my shoulder, I watched as Serena paused for a moment. She glanced back to Diego for a second, not being able to stop the smile that spread across her face. You know when you can just look at someone and know? Know that they're in love? That was what it was like with Serena towards Diego.
It was in her eyes.
She got this look in her eyes, a look I couldn't quite describe. But, that look... I had seen that look before. It was the look my Mom had whenever she had looked at my Dad and vice versa.
It was the look Sam had whenever she looked at Charlie.
It was the look of someone that was completely, head over heels, in love.
It was a nice thought, thinking that someone could be so in love that you could tell just by looking at them. Could tell just be looking into their eyes. I couldn't even begin to describe just how much I wanted that, just how much I wanted to have that person in my life. I mean, technically, I did - I'm pretty sure I looked at Derek the same way... I guess, what I was trying to say was, I wished he looked at me the same way.
But what were the chances of that happening?
"Fifteen years, married twelve - I had just turned eighteen, he was twenty." she told me. "He's my soul mate; my one and only."
"That's really nice." I sighed, smiling gently.
"It is... How long have you been with yours?"
It was a good thing she had removed the gun.
I had startled so much that I almost fell off the seat, spinning as much as I could to stare at her, wide eyed.
"Well, you're getting his name here, right?" Serena chuckled, pointing to the place she meant. "Aren't you together?"
Blushing slightly, I hugged the chair a little tighter as I turned back around.
"We're just friends..." I mumbled.
"Ah, I see how it is." she sighed. "Don't give up just yet, you never know what life has in store."
In the end, I had managed to get every tattoo done. Sure, it took a long time, but it was worth it!
Now, you're probably wondering how I paid for it? Well, the answer is simple - Deaton. See, I had been helping him out at the clinic every now and then, always when Scott wasn't there. I would be there with him for a couple of hours and, despite my objections, he would pay me for it. It wasn't a real job, I wasn't an employee. It was just a friend helping a friend. Deaton, however, refused to let me help if he didn't get to pay me - apparently, he felt bad if he didn't, like he was taking advantage. Of course, that was ridiculous, but there was no use fighting with the man - he was a stubborn egg!
I had saved and saved for months... I only just had enough to pay for the tattoos.
It had been slightly uncomfortable driving back home. Even though I healed quickly, my back would still be sore for a while! And my chest... But I managed it.
Well, I managed it after having an hour long phone call with the Pack, having all of them yelling at me, demanding to know where I was. Honestly, I loved the bones of all of them, but they did worry a tad too much sometimes - not that I blamed them.
The moment I had walked through the door of the house, I was slammed into by many bodies. I was just thankful that I had healed up on the journey home, not having to worry about hurting myself or damaging the tattoos.
"Guys, it's fine. It's not like I abandoned you!" I laughed. "I left a note. If I was going to leave forever than I wouldn't have left a note!"
Considering they just clung tighter, I didn't think it helped much.
"Where did you even go?!" Erica demanded. "You were gone for hours!"
"I can't tell you. At least, not yet." I grinned. "Tomorrow I can; it'll be ready tomorrow."
"What are you talking about?" Boyd asked.
Wriggling out of everyone's grip, I walked over to Harley, the kid clinging onto Derek's shirt as he stood by the Alpha's side. His head tilting slightly, the boy lifted his hand, tapping the side of it with his forefinger with a questioning look.
"Not this time, Sweetheart." I told him, lifting him up. "It's a surprise for you too."
"What is it?" he whispered, leaning his head onto my shoulder.
"If I told you, it wouldn't be a surprise! I promise, all of you will find out tomorrow!"
None of them liked that.
They tried begging. They tried demanding. They tried bugging me. They tried everything they could think of to try and get it out of me.
Not that it would work.
Just like Deaton, I could be a stubborn egg. Once my mind was made up, very little could convince me otherwise.
"So, what's for dinner?" I laughed.
Almost the moment everyone had come into the kitchen the next morning, I was bombarded with questions.
I only just managed to get them all to eat breakfast.
Very little seemed to be able to stop them - not food, not coffee, nothing.
They all but dragged me into the living room after they had all finished eating.
I had managed to get them all to sit down. All of them clumped together, some sitting on top of each other. I couldn't remember a time when I had seen them so impatient... Then again, considering how long I was out the day before, I suppose I should have expected it.
Before I did anything, I made sure to explain it to them. I made sure to explain why I had done it.
I told them that I had wanted to do it for a while.
I told them about my helping Deaton and saving the money.
I had told them that, for me, it was a big decision.
I told them I had done it because they all meant so much to me.
I made sure they understood.
Only when I thought it had sunk in, when I thought they understood, the was when I pulled off my shirt. I dropped it just to my side, letting them see the bandages that covered my front, some peeking out from behind my back.
The first bandage I took off was on my left hip. It was my mom's name - Claudia - red wolf and purple fox prints surrounding it, just like the one of my name.
The next eleven were all on my back. On each bandage was a name - a name of someone in the Pack, save for Sam and Charlie. I got Peter to uncover the ones with Sam and Charlie's names on. Under the bandage with Sam written on it, I had a tattoo of the blonde's name, the black ink standing in front of a cherry blossom tree, a silver sword leaning against it. Under the one with Charlie was the redhead's name, a grey wrench covered in grease underlining it.
After those two, I got the person whose name was written on the bandage to take it off. Allison was first, a white and lilac bow and arrow shooting through her name. Scott's was next to hers, black and white washed hands clasped just under his name.
Lydia came third, revealing her name with a tiger lily; Jackson just after her, a blue and green globe taking place of the 'o' in his name.
Erica stepped up after, a yellow rose hidden behind her name; Boyd next, a white chef's hat sitting on top of the 'B'.
Isaac was seventh, a navy blue scarf wrapped around the 'c' in his name; Danny coming up next, a light blue and white surfboard leaning up against the side of his name.
Peter was the last on my back, right at the top of my spine. His name was written in black, just like the others, but it was set in front of an electric blue butterfly. I could feel him trace if lightly, not pressing too hard, as if he didn't want to startle me with the touch. I gave him a moment, just allowing him to take it in just like the others, allowing it to sink in.
The last two tattoos were on my front.
The moment Peter sat down, I walked towards Harley and where he sat on the arm of Derek's arm chair. I knelt in front of the kid, taking his hand and guiding it towards the edge of the bandage. Hesitantly, he started to pull it off, slowly revealing his name on the right side of my chest. Well, by name, I meant 'Harley'. His name was bracketed by rainbow fairy wings, one of either side.
Derek was last, his name on the left side of my chest, just over my heart - I pretended it was just a coincidence... Like everyone else's, his name was in black, but he had red wolf prints surrounding his name. Similar to mine.
I chose symbols that I thought represented the person.
Sam and Allison with their respective weapons, as well as Charlie with a wrench, they were obvious. Scott with the clasped hands because he was always trying to help, always trying to find a more peaceful way of doing things.
Lydia's tiger lily meant wealth and pride, whilst Jackson's globe was because of his - secret - love of the world and different cultures.
Erica's yellow rose was for friendship, Boyd's hat because of his love for cooking.
Isaac's scarf because he always had that thing with him, Danny's surfboard because his love for Hawaii and surfing.
Peter's butterfly was to represent his transformation into something good, the electric blue to signify the journey it took to get him there.
Harley's wings were for obvious reasons, the colouring the closest I could get to the actual colours of his wings.
Derek's wolf prints... He was the Alpha. An amazing Alpha.
"I wanted to do something. I wanted to show you all just how much I cared." I admitted. "This was the only way I could think of to show it."
I should have expected to be tackled with hugs...
Sunday and Monday weren't really that notable. We just sat around, doing nothing on both days. The most I did was send Sam and Charlie the pictures of my newest tattoos, going over a few more details of their wedding with them.
That was about it.
It was kind of nice, if I was being honest. I mean, we didn't have to worry about anything, we could actually just sit back and relax. We could just do nothing, not having to research some Big Bad, or deal with teachers. I could actually enjoy summer vacation, instead of spending it in a basement or locked inside an apartment...
Tuesday morning, we had gotten back into our usual routine - I was up well before everyone else, making breakfast. As per our routine, they all turned up the moment I was close to finishing.
"Hey, before you leave the stairs, can one of you go wake Harley up?" I asked.
The most I heard was quite murmurs, before there were footsteps heading back up the stairs.
I suppose I should have done it differently. Maybe I should have waited until the food was done, gone upstairs myself. It's always after the situation that you came up with a better solution...
I didn't hear a door opening.
I didn't hear much of anything.
What I did hear? Harley charging down the stairs, screaming.
Harley sped into the kitchen, sprinting towards me. I had only just managed to turn the oven off by the time he jumped at me. I caught the kid easily, just like I always did, wrapping my arms around him tightly - Jackson came running in behind him, looking rather shocked at the outcome of him waking the kid up.
"What did you do, scare him?!" I demanded.
"I wouldn't say scare..." Jackson protested.
"Jackson!"
"Ok, maybe a little!"
I wanted to do something. Wanted to explain that that was not what you did! But what could I do that wouldn't scare Harley? I mean, he wasn't too great with sudden loud noises, he didn't like yelling... What could I do?
Thankfully, Derek took care of it for me, hitting Jackson around the back of the head - gently, but he would still feel it.
"Idiot." he muttered. "Did you forget he's practically seven?"
At least Derek understood.
It took longer than I would have liked for Harley to relax around Jackson again. Strangely, however, the Beta did seem genuinely sorry... It carried in his scent and I think Harley could read it from him.
I think that helped.
But, still, he took a little while to relax around Jackson again.
We were all in the living room by the time that had happened. Everyone was in their respective places, just lounging about and talking, the TV on in the background to fill those moments of silence. It was nice, just relaxing back and not trying to think of anything to do. It was still weird to me - not having to be so high strung. I was no longer, constantly, looking over my shoulder, thinking that anyone and everyone was out to get me, or that my Dad or Zane had found me. Sure, the latter actually had found me, but that wasn't the point I was trying to make.
The point was: things we good. Things were really good.
Leaning my head against the back of the armchair, I just grinned to myself, closing my eyes as I just listened to everyone around me. The quiet chatter of the people that had come to play such a big role in my life.
When I had first come back to Beacon Hills, I had no one. I was living in my car, I had barely anything to my name... Then, not even a month after I had shown up, the world as I knew it had been turned upside down. They gave me a bed - no strings attached. They gave me food - no strings attached. They gave me a roof over my head - no strings attached. They gave me friendship - no strings attached.
They gave me somewhere to belong and they expected nothing in return. They had just wanted to help. And, because of them, I was still alive - physically, as well as emotionally and mentally. If I hadn't crossed paths with them... Who knew what could have happened. I could have been dead, for all I knew. Hell, Zane could have found me quicker than he had - he would have taken me back to Dallas, he would have raped me, he may have killed me.
Could you imagine? Could you imagine if they had never started stalking me at the university? Could you imagine if they had never found me at Deaton's place, or living in my car? Could you imagine if I had never helped Danny, after Chase had tagged his car? Could you imagine if they had never asked me to take a room? Could you imagine if none of that had happened?
None of this would have happened - I probably would have been dead long before Zane found me! Maybe not physically dead, but definitely dead enough inside to actually let him take me back to Dallas. Dead enough that I wouldn't care what happened to me. I may not have attempted to stop him if he tried to force himself onto me. I would have been that done with everything that I would let him do whatever to me.
It made me feel sick, knowing that I would have gotten to that point.
But it was fine! None of that happened. None of that would ever happen. I didn't have to worry about any of that because, finally, I had people who cared about me again. I actually had people that wanted to be there for me, who wanted to help me. I was safe. Something I hadn't felt in a long time.
A small shifting brought me out of my head, moments before a finger tapped my shoulder. Opening my eyes, lifting my head up, I looked towards Harley, the kid frowning slightly. He was wearing the panda again, not wanting to wear anything gendered. He didn't feel like a boy nor a girl, so he thought wearing the kigarumi sounded good. He still allowed us to use the male pronouns with him, though.
"What's a holiday?" he asked, head tilting slightly.
The conversation around us died slowly, everyone turning to listen in.
"Uh, a holiday is a period of time that's spent relaxing, having fun. Some people go to a different country." I explained. "Why'd you ask, Sweetheart?"
"Derek was thinking about it." he shrugged.
Safe to say, we didn't expect that response.
We all just turned to the Alpha as he flushed slightly, running a hand through his hair and scratching the back of his neck. He wouldn't look at any of us, not even Peter, refusing to speak when someone questioned him.
He wouldn't tell us why he was thinking of a holiday.
He would tell us where he was thinking of.
He wouldn't talk at all.
So we turned to Harley.
"Derek's thinking of Paphos." Harley told us. "Where's Paphos?"
"It's in Cyprus, my dear child." Peter replied. "A lovely place indeed; I didn't think you remembered it, Derek."
Derek just shrugged, the flush on his face darkening slightly.
"I've never been on holiday before..." I mused.
"Me neither." Harley nodded, grinning slightly as he looked into my thoughts.
"Don't think Sam has either."
Peter tried to smother his chuckles, the moment he realised what Harley and I were doing. The elder wolf tried to give me a disapproving look for, in a way, corrupting the innocent child, but the fact he was laughing kind of ruined the affect, you know?
"But we went to LA..." Isaac frowned.
"Technically, not a holiday." I told him. "Not really. It was more of a surprise trip."
Glancing at Derek, out of the corner of my eye, I noticed his head had picked up a little. I guess he thought he was being subtle and, to everyone else, I suppose he was. But I could tell, I could see.
To be honest, I think he was secretly please at the way it was going.
"Well, then I think we must start planning." Peter laughed, standing to walk out of the room, clapping Derek on the shoulder as he passed.
The zombie-wolf didn't go very far, only into the kitchen. When he came back, he was carrying his Apple Mac laptop, loading it up as he walked. I don't think anyone really knew what to say, just curious as to where this was going.
I think we were all hoping it was going in the direction that we thought.
"I'm sure a friend of mine still works at one of the hotels; he could give us a good deal." Peter mused. "Stiles, why don't you see when Sam and Charlie are free next? I'm sure they would love to join us."
It was some time after dinner that we all thought it would be nice to have a movie night. But not just any movie night - a musical movie night. Musicals were kind of my guilty pleasure. I loved musicals. I remembered, when I was a kid, watching The Sound of Music with my Mom and Dad, singing along to every song that played. To be honest, I think that love grew from watching Disney films...
Some of the Pack, obviously, revolted against the decision. However, when they were outnumbered by the girls, me, Harley - since he had never seen one - and even Peter, well, they had no damn choice now, did they?
Surprisingly, we had a rather large choice of what to watch. However, considering how late it was, as well as how long some of them ran on for, we narrowed it down to three musicals. As soon as we had decided, the Puppy Pile was created. I even brought Wolfy downstairs for the first time in a long time.
The first DVD put into the player - The Sound of Music, funnily enough.
I had watched it so many times, I could practically quote the entire thing. I could play a lot of the songs as well. I had learnt to play them for my Mom. When she got sick, I played them for her a lot, singing our favourite songs for her. It became our thing, I suppose you could say...
It was rather shocked to find out how some of the Pack members had never heard of The Sound of Music! I hadn't even thought that was possible! I mean, it was made back in the sixties - not like it was new! I had practically forced them all to allow that to be one of our choices. Some, of course, found it boring - it was easy to tell, but they were respectful and kept any comment to themselves. Others liked it, not as much as I did, but they liked the storyline and songs.
The moment Edelweiss started to play, I couldn't help but sing along. Out of all the songs in the musical, that had been mine and my Mom's favourite. It was such a beautiful song, one that held so much meaning. It was the first song I had learnt from that musical, playing it over and over until I got it right - until my fingers were close to bleeding. I had wanted to get it perfect so I could perform it for my Mom... I could still remember the look on her face when I started to play it for her.
I sang quietly, resting my chin lightly on top of Harley's head, rocking side to side slightly. I could feel my throat start to burn a little, the memories the song brought up harder to think about than I would have thought. As I held the kid closer to me, I felt a small hand grasp mine, squeezing a little as the song went on.
The second DVD was put in almost three hours later - of course we took a little break, almost everyone jumping up to go to the bathroom or get a refill or something. Les Misérables was the next choice - the 2012 version with Hugh Jackman. Allison had insisted upon watching it - not that I complained! I mean, when it first came out, I illegally downloaded it, watching it on my laptop, in the library, after school one day. I had only managed to watch it once, but I had listened to the soundtrack on repeat whenever I could!
This one had only a slightly better reaction from the Pack, though they were confused about it for a long while. We had to pause it every now and then, Allison and I having to explain to them what was going on.
Allison and I sang a lot of the songs, even turning large group numbers into duets. We even sang A Little Fall of Rain. Well, I say sang... We were both trying not to cry! So, we kind of sang it, though I hardly think we hit many of the right notes. I had always found it to be such an emotional song, especially since, really, it was the first time Marius truly saw Eponine. The rest of the time, he was just obsessing over Cosette! It really was a hard hitting scene, but I couldn't have thought of a better way to do it - other than Eponine not dying! Then again, I could say that about a lot of the characters...
Was it bad to be so emotionally involved with fictional people?
Again, after close to three hours, we put in the last DVD - the 2005 movie of RENT. Funnily enough, Derek had been the one to push this - again, not that I was complaining. Even Peter was rather enthusiastic about watching it. We didn't question why - we all knew it would go back to their family, we all knew it would bring up a happy memory that would end up making them sad. So we said nothing, just added it to our selection.
I hadn't seen RENT until the year before I had left Dallas. Just like Les Misérables, I had downloaded it illegally and watched it at the library, listening to the soundtrack repeatedly whenever I had a chance. I had fallen in love with the movie before I had watched it - I had come across the soundtrack first, listening because I was rather curious... I sent me down the path of obsession.
Just like the other two musicals, I sang along, Derek and Peter even joining in!
Now, a great thing about watching RENT? Harley got to watch something with a guy dressing as a girl. One of the character's was a Drag Queen and, evidentially, they just so happened to be my favourite character! His eyes got so wide and he was practically jumping where he sat on me, grinning from ear to ear. He kept pointing at the screen, happily declaring 'they're like me, they're like me!'.
No one seemed to realise just how much of a difference character's like that made to a kid's life.
The moment we had been introduced to Angel - the Drag Queen - and Harley had seen that this character would dress as a girl too, RENT quickly became his favourite movie - not that we had finished it at that point! Not that I minded.
Of course, the first time we met Angel in her Drag Queen attire, we heard the song Today 4 U. The first time I had listened to the soundtrack, I had become obsessed with the song. It was just so upbeat and...funky! Besides, Angel's character was sassy as fuck! Harley just loved Angel even more as the song went on, trying to dance along to the beat as he stayed seated.
It had us all laughing, even him.
It wasn't long after that song that we heard another with Angel in it. Only, this time, it was with her lover, as they put it - Collins. Well, his name was Tom Collins, but everyone in the movie called him Collins. The song I'll Cover You was, I think, one of the best musical love songs. I mean, it showcased real love, true love. And it wasn't the stereotypical guy-girl love song, which made me love it more.
I sang along with it, not even realising what I was doing at first, taking on Angel's part of the duet. And then Derek joined in, taking on Collins' part. As surprised as I was, I kept singing, staring at Derek as he started to flush for the second time that day. Everyone around us, as we sang, snickered a little, especially when they heard the lyrics we were singing, but it didn't bother me. Not that it really registered in my mind... No, I was too busy staring at Derek, grinning as I heard him sing again.
It was a rather amazing experience.
The movie ended after two and a quarter hours. Well, it took us a little longer to finish because of one little incident... Somehow, it had completely slipped my mind that Angel didn't make it to the end of the movie... Harley had been heartbroken, but refused to let the movie be turned off. It was hard, seeing this kid cry but, come on, you couldn't blame him! This was the first character he could identify with, ever, and the character died! He was bound to be upset!
It was gone one in the morning when we finally turned the TV off, everyone trudging upstairs to their rooms and falling asleep quickly - though we wanted to stay downstairs, we didn't think it would be a good idea, what with all the popcorn around us. I gently gathered Harley into my arms, carrying him up the stairs with Derek and Peter close behind me.
It was, around, five thirty in the morning, approximately four hours after I had gotten into bed. I couldn't tell what had woke me up, but something had. I tossed and turned for close to an hour, trying desperately to go back to sleep, but nothing I did seemed to help.
So I got up, heading for my door.
I didn't know why I did it, I couldn't tell you why I did it, I just turned as soon as I walked out of my room, heading straight for Derek's.
As quietly as I could, I crept in, closing the door silently behind me. As far as I could tell, Derek was sound asleep.
Now, I know it could have, potentially, been a bad idea. I mean, sneaking into an Alpha's room, during the night, was never a good idea... But I doubted Derek would hurt me. He would notice my scent, my heartbeat. He would be able to tell it was me, before he could tell it was me. He wouldn't hurt me, because he would know.
Carefully, I walked over to the edge of Derek's bed, slowly lifting the cover and slipping under, getting as close as I could to Derek without disturbing or touching him. I just laid there for a moment, looking at his face. It still surprised me, how young he looked when he was resting. It was hard to forget that he was still only twenty five, though only a few months from turning twenty six. He was so young, but everything that had happened to him had aged him. The hard set of his jaw, the shadows in his eyes... It had aged him.
It was as I watched him that Derek's eyes blinked open, tiredly. He muffled a yawn, frowning slightly, before seeing me not too far from him. If it had scared him, he hadn't let it show. All he did was smile sleepily, his arm stretching languidly to rest around me. The Alpha wolf tugged gently until the gap between us was closed, my head resting lightly against his chest, falling back to sleep as soon as he had nuzzled his face into my hair.
Sighing, contently, I let myself relax against Derek, just taking in his scent and letting it wash over me. Derek's scent never failed to calm me. I reached up a hand to curl into the fabric of his pyjama shirt, yawning myself as I felt my own eyes grow heavier and heavier.
Before I fell asleep, I swore I felt something soft and plush press against my forehead.
Wednesday, July 2nd was a rather easy day, yet again.
I had woken up surrounded by Derek, my entire being completely calm. It was still so strange to me, being able to be so close to another person and not freak out... I had missed it - had missed the nice physical contact. I had forgotten that there could be anything good about physical contact. But you would. You would forget. Even just one year could do a lot to a person, never mind five.
We pretty much just stayed at the house - not necessarily inside it, but near it. For the most part, that morning, everyone just did their own thing. Some were still sleeping, taking the quiet time to just relax - as summer vacation should be spent! Others decided to head into preserve to just wander around. Only a few of us were actually awake inside the house.
I spent the time upstairs, in my room, door open in case anyone needed me. I sat on the floor, my back resting against the base of my bed, guitar sat snugly in my lap as I strummed lazy chords. I couldn't remember the last time I strummed chords just for the sake of strumming chords... It had been a long time coming, that's for sure!
Of course, it never just stayed lazy chords for long. I always had to start playing a song, sometimes belting it out, other times singing it in my head, or even just singing under my breathe.
This time, I ended up doing the latter, with the song Long Hot Summer by Keith Urban.
I knew singing it quietly wouldn't make any difference - anyone in the house would be able to hear me, considering my door was wide open. But I didn't care. I had gone from never wanting anyone hearing me sing, to not giving a flying doughnut and singing whenever I wanted. It was strangely freeing.
As I was singing, I heard two heartbeats, caught wind of these two scents, standing right outside my door. They didn't say anything, they didn't make any move to get my attention. They just waited, listening to me as I sang. I already knew who it was at my door - living with these people for so long, I would hope I did! I would be able to pick their heartbeats out of a crowd, I would be able to find them in seconds if I had to. To be honest, I think I could pick them out better than I could my own father...
The moment I finished the song, waiting for a few seconds for the last chord to stop ringing out, I looked up as I set my guitar to the side. Harley was leaning back against Peter's legs, the toy elephant held tight in his arms.
"What's up, Buttercups?" I grinned, hauling myself up off of the floor, stretching out my muscles.
Harley, I noticed, just stared at my guitar, whilst his fingers moved as if he was playing the piano. Glancing to Peter, I found him smiling, gently running a hand over the kid's head - it was nice to see the dad side of him...
"We have someone who would like to learn to play." Peter chuckled. "I thought, perhaps, we could work together on that?"
And, honestly, who was I to say no?
Peter and I spent time, all the way until lunch, teach Harley chords on both guitar and piano. He had picked up the basics, his transitions between different chords getting quicker the more the learnt. With the way the lessons went, I think he preferred piano to guitar. The three of us decided that we wouldn't do any more that day, however, not wanting to overload the kid.
It was after lunch that the guys had the idea. Boyd, Danny, Isaac, Jackson and Scott all went outside, carrying these sticks. Now, obviously, I was curious... So I followed them. I watched as they stuck coloured tap to four trees - two to the left of the house, two to the right of the house. I watched as they all started to warm up - for what, I had no idea. So I had to ask.
"What are you guys doing?" I frowned, sitting down on one of the steps.
"We're gonna play lacrosse!" Scott beamed.
"Lacrosse? Isn't that a girls sport? Haven't you ever seen Wild Child...or St. Trinians?"
As soon as those words had left my mouth, I had five guys just staring at me, mouths wide open. They looked like fishes. I'm not even kidding!
"Dude, we were on our high school team!" Jackson spluttered.
"Oh..." I muttered.
Oops...
"Yeah, Jax and I were co-captains!" Scott squeaked. "Guys can play too, you know!"
"Ok, I'm sorry! Calm down, McSporty." I chuckled.
"McSporty?"
In a way, I suppose I kind of expected the confused, 'what the hell', look Scott gave me. I mean, not many people would make the connection. I, for one, found it funny and I was extremely proud of myself for just coming out with it!
"What, I can't give you a McNickname?" I asked, faux-hurt. "You wound me."
"A Mc-what?" Scott inquired again, this time sounding a little distressed.
It took a lot to keep myself from laughing.
Of course, that was the moment the rest of the house turned up, the girls taking their perches on the swinging bench, Harley sitting one step higher than me, whilst Derek and Peter leant against the railings.
"You've been watching too many NCIS reruns." Derek sighed, smiling at me.
"Blasphemy! There is no such thing!" I yelled.
Of course, they still had no idea what I meant.
See, I had only recently gotten into the crime show and it had become a thing I watched with the two eldest members of the house. I had heard about it a lot, my Mom and Dad used to watch it... I think I watched parts of episodes with them, but I wasn't too sure. All I knew was that I had been missing out on some quality TV time! And, come on, when you have Tony DiNozzo coming up with all the McNicknames for Tim McGee? Well, it was too much of a opportunity to pass up, when it came to Scott...
"How do you play lacrosse, anyway?" I asked, turning back to the guys.
The afternoon became the five teenagers teaching Peter, Derek and I how to play lacrosse. Both Peter and Derek would say how, 'back in their day' it was basketball that was played, complaining about hoe basketball was a real sport and blah, blah, blah.
The boys didn't take too kindly to it.
It was after they taught us all we needed to know that we split into teams, doing four on four. With Derek, Jackson, Isaac and Peter on one team, Boyd, Danny, Scott and I were on the other. I suppose, in a way, it wasn't fair - one team had two newbies on it, where the other only had one... But who cared? It was just for fun!
Now, I will admit, I enjoyed lacrosse far more than I actually thought I would. To be honest, if I had stayed in Beacon Hills, had attended the same high school and been friends with them all, I probably would have joined the team. Didn't know if I would be any good but, I suppose, with practice, I could had been a semi-decent player. And, you know, someone with my reflexes could hold their own.
We had all decided that our game would go for, around, two hours - obviously with a break! It was during the last few minutes that things got...interesting, let's say.
See, it was a tied game. Time was running out and both teams wanted to score the last point - obviously. I couldn't tell who on my team had the ball, all I knew was it wasn't me. So I just kept running towards the other teams goal, keeping my eye out just in case a ball came my way.
Of course, by doing that, I wasn't really paying attention to where I was going.
It was as the thought went through my head that I collided with something, falling backwards. At first, I thought I had ran into a tree, until the thing I ran into fell on top of me, only a partial weight resting on me. Blinking, trying to clear my head, I found Derek staring straight at me, our noses inches from each other.
It would have been so easy. So easy to just reach up and kiss him. It would have been the easiest thing in the world!
"I like this train of thought..." Okami purred inside my head. "Are you finally growing some balls?"
I ignored the mutt, just staring into Derek's eyes.
Of course, the moment I heard Erica's voice, I snapped out of it. I realised where I was, what was going on and what I was thinking of doing. I could practically feel my face flood with blood, could feel the head in my cheeks.
I just hoped it wasn't a moment Harley decided to look into my head...
That night, we all decided to do something we hadn't ever done - star gazing. I don't know if they had ever done it - maybe some of them, with their families, but definitely not as a group. But, it was a clear night and, from the roof, we had a clear view of the stars.
We had trudged up the stairs with so many blankets and pillows, making sure we had enough food and drink to last us until we decided to go back inside, creating a little nest for us all, just like we had for movie night.
Unsurprisingly, we didn't know about stars or the constellations. Well, I say 'we', I mean everyone except Harley. Being a Fairy, being a creature of the Earth, he knew practically all the constellations, pointing out each one he knew that he could see, giving us a little bit of the history behind them.
He even told us about the ones we couldn't see, telling us the stories of how they were, supposedly, created. It was kind of fascinating, if I was being honest. I mean, it may have just been me, but hearing some of legends was kind of cool...
In the end, though, we all just ended up lying there, just staring at the stars. It was peaceful, calm. It was something that just let you relax.
I had spent many a night outside, especially when I first came to Beacon Hills, but I never knew it could be like this. I mean, I hated it when I first came into town. I hated being outside, deep down, anyway. In a way, I kind of resented it. I never really thought of it as something that could be so peaceful.
It was always nice to be proven wrong.
Nothing really happened on Thursday, just the usual kick back and do nothing. But, Friday, was never going to be one of those days.
Friday, July 4th 2014 - Independence Day.
Early in the morning, Peter and Derek had gone to the store, buying fireworks, food, absolutely everything! They had wanted to get everything whilst most people in the town were still asleep, so we could all have everything we could want at our little celebration.
It was just going to be the twelve of us - Sam and Charlie had gone out of town for the day, having their own, little celebration. We had planned to call them late in the day, just so we could all catch up and see how they were doing - and, you know, hash out our holiday plans because, yes, we were actually going to Paphos! Well, not until the end of the month, but still!
I had taken up my usual duty on the holiday's, something I had decided was my duty when I had cooked at Christmas, and started to cook, prep and bake! I had Harley helping me out, just like I said I would get him to do. I mean, I wasn't getting him to do anything difficult, but I tried to make it a little more challenging and fun for him. I even got him to look through some books, choosing some things for us both to make.
We would have the others popping in and out, decorating the entire house and even us. Harley and I were attacked with these little plastic hats, streamers, the lot! I couldn't help but laugh along - especially when all the pups pounced on Derek, literally wrestling with him.
As Harley and I worked, I had one of my playlists going. I had only recently made it up, specifically for Independence Day, putting any song that spoke about the USA or American pride on there.
My favourite one to turn up? God Bless the USA by Lee Greenwood. I sang along to it, of course, but I added my own little twist to it...
"If tomorrow all the things were gone I'd worked for all my life
And I had to start again with just my children and my wife
I'd thank my lucky stars to be livin' here today
'Cause the flag still stands for freedom and they can't take that away"
It was a song I heard a lot growing up, especially on this holiday. Whether it be playing on the radio, or someone singing it around the house... It didn't matter how but, every year, without fail, I would hear the song. Throughout the entire day, I would hear it wherever I went, humming it as I wandered around the place. For that one day, after the first ten or so times of hearing it, I would be sick of hearing it. And then I would love it all over again when I heard it the next year.
"And I'm proud to be an American where at least I know I'm free
And I won't forget the men who died, who gave that right to me
And I'd gladly stand up next to you and defend her still today
'Cause there ain't no doubt I love this land
God bless the USA"
I remembered listening to the song when I was a kid, not really understanding any of the words. It was only after I stumbled across it, when putting the playlist together, that I understood what it meant. I mean, you never really paid attention to the lyrics when you were a kid, you just listened to the voice and the music. It was only as you got older that you began to process and understand.
"From the lakes of Minnesota, to the hills of Tennessee
Across the plains of Texas, from sea to shining sea
From Detroit down to Houston and New York to LA
Well, there's pride in every American heart
And it's time we stand and say that
I'm proud to be an American where at least I know I'm free
And I won't forget the men who died, who gave that right to me
And I'd gladly stand up next to you and defend her still today
'Cause there ain't no doubt I love this land
God bless the USA
And I'm proud to be an American where at least I know I'm free
And I won't forget the men who died, who gave that right to me
And I'd gladly stand up next to you and defend her still today
'Cause there ain't no doubt I love this land
God bless the USA."
It really was a great song.
It was late in the afternoon when Harley and I had finished baking and prepping food for that evening - Derek was going to drag out the barbeque for dinner, so we kind of needed to prep some things. But there was so much time you could spend in a kitchen, before going insane.
When Isaac mentioned going to the park, everyone practically jumped at the chance.
Harley was just running around the entire place, enjoying spending time outside. He would drag Peter around with him, sometimes Isaac or Lydia or Allison. Those four were his go to people if he didn't, or couldn't, go to Derek or me. It was kind of sweet, you know? Seeing some of them actually relax around the kid and start to interact with him.
I sat on one of the swings, Derek next to me on the other, watching as everyone mucked around. Some of the guys were wrestling each other, some were sitting crossed legged on the roundabout, lazily spinning it around. Everyone was just spending time with each other, having a laugh.
"It's nice. Having this again, I mean." Derek smiled, his tone wistful. "You never notice how much you'll miss it until it's gone..."
"Been a while, huh?" I asked.
"Yeah... We - as a pack - haven't really celebrated a lot of the holidays. The most we did was just give gifts on birthdays and at Christmas, that was it. There's something about you being here, being with us, that makes us want to."
Grinning, I nudged the Alpha wolf in his side, watching him jerk as I hit a ticklish spot.
"You trying to say I'm the missing puzzle piece?" I teased.
And he looked at me.
And he said nothing.
He didn't have to - it was all in his eyes. There was absolutely no trace of humour anywhere, just a small smile staying on his face.
"Maybe not as cliché as that but, essentially, yes." Derek said. "You've brought us closer together; made us stronger. I don't think you quite realise how much you mean to all of us."
In all my years, I never thought I'd hear anyone say something like that to me. I thought my life was headed down the path of abuse, slowly crushing me, until the day I died. Of course, that day would have come a lot sooner than it would now I was with the people that actually cared. I honestly thought that the only things I would hear would be derogative, well, probably until Zane managed to get his way - only then, I expect, would I hear anything 'good', not that I would ever want to hear any of that.
It was still a little startling, still a little strange, to hear these kind of things, to experience the gentle touches. I was still getting it used to it all. But what do you expect? It hadn't even been a year yet - a year wasn't enough time to fix just under five years of abuse. I think I had done well for under a year, but I wasn't delusional to think that it would be fixed with a snap of my fingers, but I had definitely done bloody well, that was for sure!
Just think of where I could be, in another years time, with the people I cared about around me.
That evening, we all packed up our stuff in the cars, driving as far as we could into the preserve to get to a clearing, finding an open enough space to set up the fireworks as well as the coal barbeque.
Peter had managed to buy a couple of folding tables, some of the Betas setting them up so we could place the food out. Harley was very quick to help unpack, hefting everything he was given on top of the table. He just seemed to be a little on the hyper side - not that that was bad! On the contrary, it was nice to see him so relaxed and happy! He was acting like a kid should.
Derek was getting the food ready around five.
Everything was cooked and put on the tables just after six.
For four hours we ate, we laughed, we sang, we danced... It was everything a holiday should be!
By the time we got to ten that evening, when it was nice and dark, we set the fireworks off.
Derek and Peter had set them all off a safe distance away from us all, the rest of us sitting and squeezing onto the hoods of the cars, leaning back against the windshields to get a good view. I had warned Harley that they would be loud - they would be extremely loud... But I made sure he knew he wouldn't get hurt. I made sure he knew no one would get hurt and, if he got scared, to let me know and I would get my headphones out so he could listen to music to drown out the noise, yet still see the bright colours...
It was mainly the look of the fireworks that I wanted him to see.
To my absolutely delight, he didn't need the headphones. He startled slightly when the first firework was set off but, after that, he wasn't much bothered by the noise. He was too entranced by the array of colour sparkling across the night sky, almost hypnotized by the brightness.
"It's so pretty..." he had breathed, leaning forward slightly, his head tilted up towards the sky.
And I had to agree. The sky was lit up with so many colours, so many different designs... I couldn't think of a better word to describe them. I hadn't seen fireworks in so long before New Year's Eve night, even the idea of them becoming such a distant memory. I had forgotten just how beautiful they were until then. And again, after only just seven months, I had forgotten just how dazzling they could be.
"They really are, Sweetheart." I grinned. "They really are."
The next day, we were still running off the high of the Independence Day spirit! Everyone just had so much excess energy that it was hard to sit still!
So we went swimming.
Derek had made the executive decision and, since we didn't have our own pool - I think the Alpha wolf was seriously considering installing one - we had to go to the local one. We could have gone to the dyke again, but at least the pool water would be a little cleaner...
It was all fine and good when we got there, no one was really paying us much attention and there wasn't a lot of people there - I suppose they were exhausted from their celebrations.
The lack of people made it easier for me to be there. I was still uncomfortable with being any kind of naked - whether it be half or whatever - especially with other people around, so less people was a good thing! And, you know, it meant less people to stare at my scars and tattoos. Though, I would admit, I loved being able to see the names of those I loved - yes, loved, I'll finally say it - inked onto my skin. Those names gave me this warm, happy tingling sensation in my stomach... I never wanted that to go away.
Now, since Harley didn't know how to swim, I stayed with him in the shallow end, trying to teach him the basics. Now, I had never taught anyone how to swim before. I didn't have any younger siblings to grow up with, I never had the little cousins around me... I didn't grow up with kids around me, so I didn't know how to teach things like this.
Which was why I was grateful when Peter came along to help.
The man worked miracles! I swear down, he taught this kid in, about, twenty minutes, more than I had in one hour. The exact moment Harley had managed to nail it, managing to swim a short distance by himself, I cannot describe how proud I was! I may as well have been his dad if that was the reaction it conjured!
I practically swooped the kid into my arms, spinning him around in the water, hugging him to me tight. I couldn't help it, it was as if I wasn't in control of myself! Of course, it was that moment when things turned a little not so fine...
I had this guy, just a hair shorter than Peter, built a little like Boyd, make his way over to us. He got up in my face, Harley burrowing himself against me as this man used his build to try and intimidate me. Not that it worked - I had faced bigger and boarder than him.
"Is he giving you and your son trouble?" the guys asked Peter, glaring at my hold on the kid.
"Not that it's any of your business, but the boy is not my son." Peter snorted. "I was helping my Godson teach the boy to swim."
The man seemed startled at the hard edge Peter's voice took - the protective edge. It was as if he was daring the man to say one bad word against me.
"I don't mean to offend you," the mad said, quickly. "But the kid doesn't exactly look ok."
"Yeah, because your scaring him!" I glared. "You've come over here, got in my face when I'm holding the kid, a kid that's a lot smaller than you, and you think he's scared because he's with me? He was fine before you came over here!"
"Big brother would never hurt me!" Harley whimpered, clutching me tighter. "Can we find Derek now?"
I just nodded, running a hand up and down the kid's back, leaving Peter to finish the guy off as I took Harley towards the deeper pool. I didn't look back, even when I heard Peter laying into the guy, not once raising his voice. I didn't even look around me, even though I knew everyone around us had been staring, listening into our conversation. I just kept looking forward, holding Harley close to me as I walked.
Instead of getting into the pool when Derek and the Betas were, I sat on the edge, keeping Harley in my lap. I knew they had all - apart from Allison, though I knew she had been clued in - heard what had happened. Even if they hadn't, they'd be able to tell something was wrong. They didn't say anything about it - they didn't have to. It was enough to know that they were on my side.
Derek swam up to Harley and I, leaning on the side of the pool so he could see us both. He placed one hand on the back of Harley's head, the other keeping him balanced, as he looked up to me.
"I'm proud of you." Derek said, his words surprising me. "You were a lot calmer than you would have been a few months ago."
Just by those words, the tension in my shoulders started to leak away. He was right. A few months ago, I would have wanted to rip that guy's head off and I would have had to tear myself away from the situation to stop myself, would have had to dug my claws into the palms of my hands. This time, there was only a slight increase in my heartbeat. I had kept the claws at bay, had kept myself controlled.
The one-to-one sessions with Derek had really been paying off - yes, those were still happening...just not as often as I would have liked...
"I was, wasn't I?" I whispered, smiling a little.
"You were." Derek grinned. "You should be proud of yourself. Just like my little Bud should be proud of swimming for the first time!"
Just like I had, Derek had swept Harley into his arms, keeping a tight hold of the kid as he spun a little away from the edge of the pool. What surprised me most, but what also made the rest of the anger leave me, was watching the rest of the Pack hyping up Harley's accomplishment. I could see the surprise on the little tyke's face, but I could feel the absolute joy rushing off of him.
All in all, forgetting the mishap, I suppose it could be classified as a good moment.
It was as we were heading home that Derek and Peter started arguing with the five male Betas. They had been discussing sports and, one thing led to another, to the point of them debating which was the harder sport - lacrosse or basketball. It was easy to guess who was arguing which side.
They were still going on by the time we got back to the house!
The incessant screeching was the most annoying thing I had ever heard. I mean, it had started out funny, watching these supposedly adult men arguing about such an inane thing! But everything lost its humour after a while.
"Oh my God, all of you shush!" I groaned as the dynamics of the argument rose again, Harley giggling quietly. "This is a pointless argument!"
"It is not pointless!" Scott yelled.
"Ok, McScreechy! Geez, isn't there a quieter way for you to settle this?"
That was how I was roped into playing basketball.
Now, because I, like Derek and Peter, knew how to basketball - the two older wolves more than me - we were on a team of three against the Betas team of five. The girls had been invited to play as well, but they had refused - something about it being 'way more fun to laugh at the testosterone fuelled caveman display'. Harley just sat between Lydia and Allison, laughing along.
We weren't cruel, we had gone over the rules with the boys first, making sure the girls heard so they could ref the game. It was nice to have a refresher course before diving into a game...
It was actually funny, watching the five trying to play basketball. They travelled so much, so used to running with a ball that, in the end, they all just gave up - this was, about, fifteen minutes into the game!
Derek and Peter were very smug about the entire situation.
Now, Sunday - July 6th - started out like any other day. I should have known something should happen. It had been far too calm for far too long.
But I didn't.
It was close to lunch time that I heard the knock at the door. I heard Harley yelling that he would get it. I hoped that he would remember what I had told him about the door so, when I heard it open, I thought nothing of it.
And then I heard a man's voice.
It didn't sound like Deaton.
It didn't sound like Chris.
I couldn't place the voice.
So, setting down the glass I was drying, I made my way towards the front door.
"Harley, Sweetheart, what had I told you about opening doors to strangers?" I sighed, keeping my eyes on the boy.
"He's right kid. Never know who's gunna be there." the voice, now familiar to me, cackled.
"...Dad..."
SORRY FOR THE LONG WAIT, BUT I'VE JUST STARTED UNIVERSITY!
P.S. I know the version of God Bless the USA wasn't out at until 2016, so it doesn't fit with the story line... BUT, I did say Stiles did his own thing with it and the way Home Free sing it is how I imagined it XD
Please, please review XD
Thanks so much everyone! XD