AN: You aren't the most talkative bunch, are you? I hope you're enjoying the fic!

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First Arc: V

D-ranks.

You knew they were coming. I knew they were coming. Sakura knew they were coming. Naruto flails through life being in turn surprised and outraged by everything he finds, and I'm pretty sure that even he knew they were coming.

But did you know that an anime montage to connect the graduation arc to the wave mission arc completely failed to capture the sheer number of d-rank missions Team Seven actually did? I thought it was only meant to be a few days, a week tops, and then Tayuma or Itsusa or Tsazuna or whatever the drunk bridge building maniac was called would shamble in and insult us and the plot would start picking up in earnest. Easy. Simple. Efficient.

Lies.

We'd graduated at the end of March. It was now well into mid April, and we were still doing d-ranks. And you know the worst part? In another situation, I would've actually liked d-ranks. I wouldn't mind doing them. Gardening, home maintenance, running errands - these were exactly the sort of mindless little tasks that kept my hands busy while my thoughts wandered. If I were at home, I'd be humming, or amusing myself by trying to do everything in a handstand, or explaining to Plushie-tan why the lack of commercially available bleach in Konoha was a crime against humanity and surely no one civilised would stand for it.

I get that synthetically produced chemicals are hard, but come on. I'm reduced to scrubbing the bins out with washing up gloves and bars of soap. It's barbaric.

But painting a fence on a nice spring day? Yes. Delightful. Peaceful. Calming. Meditation grade zen, even.

"Naruto!"

Except for one tiny thing.

"What? He wanted the fence painted, I painted the fence!"

"Maa, done already? That was fast."

"No one's faster than the Naruto clone army, believe it!"

"It doesn't matter how fast you are, idiot! You did it wrong!"

"But Sakura-chan -!"

I put my paintbrush down across the lip of the paint tin and levelled Kakashi with the most unimpressed look I could muster. He gave me a cheery wave from his position in the trees, not even bothering to look up from his book.

"Sounds like your team could use your help, Sasuke," he chirped. "I think Sakura's going to give Naruto a concussion."

"Haruno's the team leader," I deadpanned. "If she wants to put Uzumaki in hospital, she can."

"I heard that, bastard!"

Kakashi nodded in solemn agreement. "So cold, my cute little genin. Who hurt you, hm? Weren't you listening to my inspirational speech by the memorial stone?"

I looked at him suspiciously. Kakashi was impossible to read; I could never tell if he was actually fishing for information, or if he was just messing around. I knew that I was a flight risk and actively trying to keep my distance with the other members of the team because I was going to abandon them and follow my s-rank missing nin brother into his life of crime as a member of a terrorist organisation set on ending the world, but Kakashi didn't. I hoped. Did he? He was one of the most powerful characters in the entire series. He was also squirrelly as fuck. Who knew what he knew?

"I'm not putting the mission above my teammates," I said. "He has a healing factor. He'll be fine."

"So cold."

I frowned, but didn't bother to ask why Kakashi didn't step in himself if he was so worried. I'd learnt early on that his hands-off approach extended to pretty much every area of teaching. He was more like a babysitter than a sensei. Not even a babysitter. Vaguely concerned bystander. He accidentally happened to be in the same vicinity. Sometimes.

"No more clones!" Sakura yelled, dispatching the last of them with a sharp blow to the head that left the real Naruto reeling in pain as the memory hit him. "Do it right or don't do it at all!"

My zen, I thought mournfully. We didn't even have any cold tea. The man who'd hired us had a tray of it in his kitchen, I could see it through the window, but as soon as he'd seen Naruto he'd scarpered inside and made no attempt to offer it to us.

"Here," I said, passing Naruto a scraper and a block of sandpaper. "You need to take the old paint off before you put the new paint on."

"I don't need your help, bastard," he growled, nursing his headache and glaring. Sakura raised her fist again in warning. "Fine! I'll take the stupid old paint off. I don't see why we have to do that. It doesn't say we have to in the mission briefing."

"Because I'm the team leader and I say you do what Sasuke-kun tells you, that's why," Sakura snarled, hands on her hips and her own scraper held like a kunai in her fist. Whatever reservations she'd had about giving orders at the bell test, they'd melted away in the face of Kakashi's - and my - tacit approval of her being in charge. Not that she'd give me any orders still, not without a lot of stuttering and umming and general purpose blushing, but Naruto? She could boss him around like a pro.

Naruto took an angry breath, ready to defend himself, and I practically shoved the tools in his hands to cut him off. "If you leave the old paint it'll flake off, and then there'll be holes in the new paint and it won't look good. Also the client will be pissed that we rushed and did a sloppy job." I retreated before he could reply and sat firmly cross legged by my own - beautifully sanded - piece of fence.

Paint brush. Paint. Even, measured strokes. Zen.

"You sure know a lot about fences, Sasuke-kun," Kakashi said, appearing on my fence post. "I bet you know more painting tips than jutsus, even. You could be a decorator!"

My eye twitched. "You could teach us a jutsu. Because you're a teacher."

"Hm." He tapped his chin and tilted his head back to look up at the cloudless blue sky. "Sorry, not today. It's the wrong phase of the moon for jutsu teaching. Best stick to fences for now, ne?"

The shuriken I aimed at his eye was entirely justified. The fact that he'd apparently used a water clone instead of a shadow clone and the burst of water wrecked the painting I'd already done was fucking rude and uncalled for.

I grit my teeth and fired up my old friend the immolation jutsu to dry myself out. It was my new defence against the fact that Kakashi demanded we meet before dawn each day, despite never turning up himself until the sun was high in the sky. Turns out that using chakra to set yourself on fire is an excellent way to keep warm, so long as you stop before any actual flames appear.

"Ah ah, Sasuke, no slacking!"

And so long as you weren't interrupted while you were building the chakra by your idiot of a sensei throwing a kunai at you.

"Hate," I hissed, and shamelessly stole the kunai.

.

Four hours, three d-ranks, and two more unnecessary soakings later - one of which happened because Naruto over-balanced while we were draining a flooded river bank and dragged me in it - and we were finally, finally done for the day.

"Look at that, my precious ducklings! Just time for one more -"

"No," I snarled. "It's almost dinner, you didn't let us stop for lunch, I am getting clean and then I'm eating or so help me there will be hell."

Sakura and Naruto didn't say anything themselves, but by the way they closed ranks beside me in exhausted agreement I knew they felt the same.

Kakashi eye smiled and ruffled my hair. He's damn lucky I didn't bite his fingers off. "Maa, you're so grumpy when you're hungry. Like a puppy!"

Behind me, Sakura choked. Even Naruto stifled a snort. I glared at Kakashi, and if there weren't so many eyeball thieves in the world I swear I'd've activated my sharingan then just to fully express how much I despised him.

"Well," he allowed, prudently removing his hand from my head. "As a responsible adult I can't possibly inflict you on clients in this state. Did you know, Sasuke-kun, you're all covered in river mud? See you tomorrow, usual time!"

He waved, and poofed out like the coward he was. I think this one was a shunshin. I was getting better at telling the difference between them and clones - mainly because Naruto took any opportunity to put his kage bunshin to use, whether he needed to or not.

"Aw man!" Naruto complained. "He's gone again! We didn't get to do any training today either."

"We never get to do training with him," I corrected. "Because he's shit."

Naruto pointed at me and looked expectantly at Sakura. She flushed, but dutifully said, "Um, Sasuke-kun, maybe we shouldn't be so, um, disrespectful of Sensei?"

"Yeah, bastard! Language!"

I rolled my eyes to hide my surprise. Sakura, telling Sasuke that he was doing something wrong? This was character development at its finest. I didn't know whether to be proud of her for it or annoyed that I was being called out for swearing by someone less than half my age, and settled for awkwardly glossing over it.

"We can always train by ourselves. We don't need him for sparring or taijutsu practice."

"Together?" Naruto asked, scrunching up his nose. "As in, all three of us, at the same time?"

"Unless you have another team," I huffed, stung. I thought Naruto was meant to be desperate for friends?

"That's a great idea, Sasuke-kun!" Sakura gushed. "We can use the mornings, before Sensei arrives. Oh, that's probably what he meant us to do in the first place - Sasuke-kun is so clever for seeing underneath the underneath!"

"Yeah, and it'll be way less boring than all those stretches, believe it!"

I stuck my tongue out at him. Yes, I was filling the empty hours of the morning with more flexibility training. Yes, I was doing it to stop them talking to me. And yes, it was still freezing cold at the asscrack of dawn, and I needed to keep moving to stop my bones calcifying into ice. It wasn't my fault the other two insisted on watching instead of joining in.

"We should do something," Sakura said, standing up straighter with a disturbingly determined expression. "Something as a team. Ino-pig said Team Ten go out to Yakiniku after training and I think Team Eight's sensei took them to the tea shop. We need a Team Seven thing!"

"Ramen!" Naruto immediately volunteered. He grabbed my elbow as the closest person and started tugging me down the street. I planted my heels and refused to move.

"Clean," I countered.

"We could go to the onsen?" Sakura suggested, with just enough casual mildness that it was obviously not casual in the slightest. Also, the blush. And the way she kept looking at me and flicking her gaze away while biting her lip invitingly.

The fuck do they teach in kunoichi classes. I wasn't a raging hornball when I was a twelve year old girl. I think I'd just discovered nail polish and training bras. Also pokemon. The trading cards were banned at school because people kept stealing them from each other, so we colonised the chess club and used that as a front for our illegal black market dealings.

I was a cool kid, ok.

I was also far too sensible to venture willingly into a body of water deep enough to cover my head. Admittedly, you'd have to sit really really slouched, but the heat could easily make you light headed and then you'd fall asleep and slowly slide down until you never came up again and then what would you do with yourself. Look like an idiot for going in the water, that's what.

"I have a bath at home," I said. She looked crestfallen, and I'm weak, so I relented: "We could have dinner later, though. Team dinner. As a team. Not a date. Uzumaki has to be there."

"Team dinner at six!" Naruto all but shouted, pointing at both of us. "Don't be late like Sensei!"

"We'll meet in the town square," Sakura agreed, recovering far too quickly from the disappointment of not going to the onsen. "See you there!"

.

"I think I got played," I admitted to Plushie-tan once I was home, showered (I had a bath, somewhere - I think next to my parents' room? - but that didn't mean I had to subject myself to it), and wrapped in a plain navy yukata while my hair dried. "I thought she was meant to be straightforward. She yells shannaro and charges at people. How did I let myself be talked into this?"

Plushie-tan stared wisely back with his shiny button eyes and didn't answer.

"That's fine for you to say. You don't have to put clothes on again." I poked at the soggy pile of black I'd been wearing earlier and made a face. Straight in the washing machine with those. Thank god laundry detergent was widely available, even if bleach wasn't.

I swear, one day I was going to work out the rules of why some things did and didn't exist. One day.

Pulling open the sideboard door and staring at my neatly folded stack of more black was spectacularly uninspiring. "I don't wanna wear clothes," I whined. "I like pyjamas. I've had a hard day. I want pyjamas, and sappy poems, and bed. Maybe ice cream."

I pouted. It wasn't even like I could put casual clothes on instead of my shinobi gear. I didn't have casual clothes. Because Itachi didn't have casual clothes, the overachieving nut. Why couldn't he predict that one day I'd live entirely in his cast-offs and get some pretty things to balance out the serious?

"I bet he does have pretty things," I muttered. "He's just hiding them. He must've worn not-work clothes for something." Didn't the clan parties mandate formal wear? No, wait, what was I thinking. Formal wear meant heavy silk kimonos, I remembered being stuffed into them the few times my parents took me with them. That was precisely the opposite of what I was going for.

It did make me think though; Fugaku always used to wear a haori. At least, he did around the clan compound - I think he had a standard flak jacket shinobi outfit for when he was on duty, but I didn't see him wearing it much. I didn't have the full outfit to go under a haori, but it wasn't like Naruto or Sakura would care, would they? I just… really didn't want to put my training gear back on.

Hell, Naruto and Sakura probably wouldn't care if I turned up in the yukata. It was only the clan elders who were still traditional enough to consider them home clothes. Surely. I'd seen loads of people wear them in public. Right? Maybe.

"All right, house," I muttered, pushing open the closed door to the main body of the house. "Haori me."

The house answered with a cloud of dust, and, when I flicked the light on, a clear view of the missing tatami mats where Itachi stabbed our mum.

"The clan elders are dead, what do they know," I said, tying an obi round my waist to hold the yukata shut. "I'm a child of the future, I can wear what I want. See you later, Plushie-tan."

.

I regretted the yukata by the time I met up with the others. As warm and comfortable as it was round the house, it wasn't thick enough to protect against the chill of the evening. Not that my normal shirt would have done much better, which was why I usually avoided the outside world after the sun went down, but on the other hand my normal shirt wouldn't have got Naruto and Sakura sending me weird side-eyes the whole walk to the restaurant.

"Would you two stop that?" I hissed. "They're just clothes!"

"But Sasuke-kun, I didn't know you wore kimono!"

"It's not a kimono. And I don't. Except at home."

"You feel comfortable enough to wear home clothes around us? Sasuke-kun!"

"Less comfortable by the second," I muttered, turning away from her. That didn't help much - Naruto was on my other side, squinting. "What?"

"You're too pretty," he said. "If you dress like a girl, people are going to think you're a girl."

"Men wear yukatas!"

"You still look like a girl," he repeated, chin raised in a stubborn tilt that said his mind wouldn't be changed, then adjusted his position to glare at everyone passing by instead of at me.

I stuck my tongue out at the back of his head. Truthfully, I didn't mind looking like a girl. It was actually… Nice. Maybe, once I'd left Konoha and I could stop being so paranoid of the village finding out about my previous life, I could capitalise on that. Itachi loved me, right? He'd still love me if I was a sister. Sometimes. It felt weird to think of myself as ever being fully girl again, but it was comforting to have the option.

"Where are we going, anyway?" I asked. Sakura had vetoed ramen, and as much as Naruto pouted he'd bowed to the inevitable and let her lead the way.

"Sushi!" she said. "You said you liked fish, and there's a sushi place just round the corner that's really good."

"Ah," Naruto faltered. "Old lady Emiyo's sushi place?"

"Yes!" She seemed to pick up on his hesitance, and offered, "I think they have some other dishes, if you don't like sushi?"

"No, I like sushi. Um, do they have tables outside? I could hold the table while you two order?"

I made a strangled sound of protest. "Do you people just not feel the cold? Inside. With the heat. Like normal human beings."

We reached the restaurant then and Sakura pushed open the doors to go in. Naruto tried to tuck himself in behind me, but given that he was at least an inch taller and his hair was fluorescent yellow, he wasn't that successful.

"Table for three please, Obaasan!" Sakura said, all cheerfulness and polite bows.

"Sakura-chan!" the old lady greeted. "And you're a genin now, I see! This must be your - team." Her kind expression froze as she glanced over at us. My eyes narrowed. She seemed to debate with herself for a second, then turned back to Sakura with regret. "I'm sorry Sakura-chan, we don't have any tables spare tonight. You and your team will have to eat elsewhere."

I could feel Naruto droop behind me.

"There's a table," I said, interrupting whatever Sakura was going to say. I pointed at random, not breaking eye contact. "There's some more."

"Reserved, I'm afraid," she said with a fake smile.

"Ah, that's ok, Obaasan," Sakura said, shooting me a puzzled look. "We don't want to be a fuss! We'll come back another time?"

The fake smile slipped, and surely Sakura must've noticed there was something wrong. "I don't know that that's the best idea -"

"I'm so sorry to hear of your supply troubles," I said, deliberately raising my voice to be overheard. "I hope you get some fresher fish soon, and thank you for your honesty." I bowed, so precisely perfect that my mum would've applauded, and grabbed Naruto's sleeve as I turned to leave.

"Sasuke-kun, wait!" Sakura said behind us. I ignored her, marching out the door with Naruto stumbling behind. Really. Really? She was just going to stand there and blatantly lie about her restaurant being booked up, like we couldn't see through her? It wasn't even a good lie! How fucking dumb did she think we were?

"Fucking reserved," I muttered. "Not the best idea, bunch of piss-headed troglodytes. The fuck does she take us for."

"Uh, Sasuke?" Naruto said. I whirled on him, one step short of baring my teeth.

"What?"

"Sasuke-kun, what was that?" Sakura asked, breathing heavily as she caught up. "You can't just say that! Now everyone will think her food is bad!"

I stared. That was the point. I didn't see a problem.

Sakura huffed. "At least there weren't too many people there tonight," she allowed. "Emiyo-san will be able to sort this out."

"You're right," I said with a decisive nod, and changed direction. I'd let go of Naruto's arm but he trotted behind me anyway like I was still dragging him, looking vaguely constipated in his bewilderment. Sakura didn't follow immediately, but I heard her steps behind us soon enough.

The fish stall was just packing up when I reached it, which was lucky. I was angry enough that I'd forgotten how late it was. "Ito-san," I called, grabbing his attention as I approached.

"Uchiha-kun! Ah, sorry, I've just finished for the day -"

"You supply the fish for Emiyo's, don't you?"

He blinked, taken aback by my harsh tone. "Ah… yes?"

I nodded. "She's been selling old fish. I thought it was odd because yours is very good, so I wasn't sure if she'd changed supplier."

Behind me, Sakura choked. I ignored her.

"Ah." Ito-san frowned. "Thank you, Uchiha-kun. That's good to know, and good of you to tell me." He bowed, and I bowed back, once again so rigidly straight you could've used me as a protractor. It seemed that my temper brought out my mother's training, who knew. "Was there anything else I could do for you?"

"No thank you," I refused. Over his shoulder, I saw two people whispering to each other; one of them inclined their head in the direction of the sushi place. Good. "I'll see you in the morning, Ito-san. Have a good night."

He bowed, again, I bowed back, again, he wished us also a good night, and that was that. Job done.

Sakura waited until we were out of hearing range before she turned on me. "Sasuke-kun! Why did you say that? He'll stop supplying Emiyo-san and then she won't have any fish to sell, what if she closes?"

"She insulted Naruto," I shot back. "She insults my team mate, I insult her fish. I'm just better at it than she is."

"She didn't insult Naruto," Sakura protested weakly, but the guilty way she looked aside said that she knew that wasn't quite true. I raised an eyebrow at her and she wilted further.

"Hey, this means we can get ramen though!" Naruto cut in, breaking the stand off. "C'mon Sakura-chan, bastard, I've got to introduce you to old man Teuchi, and if we're lucky Ayami-neechan will be there too, she's almost as pretty as you are Sakura-chan, and they make the best ramen so you'll love it and -"

He kept talking, too fast and way too cheerful for either of us to get a word in edgeways. I was all too happy to drop the subject; even knowing that Naruto would grow up to one day be loved by Konoha didn't make it ok that some people thought they could treat him like that. Didn't they know he was the title character, the hero? And aside from that, couldn't they see that he was a good person? He didn't deserve to be, to be abused like that. If Emiyo didn't want to be put out of business by a few unfounded rumours then she should've tried being a decent human being. It would do her good to be shunned for something she didn't do. See how she liked it.

I picked at my miso ramen, hiding a reluctantly amused snort when Naruto introduced me as "The bastard, don't be fooled by the fact that he's wearing a dress." The yukata was still a bit too thin for comfort but the ramen was warm and we were sat close enough together that I could leech some of the heat radiating off Naruto. I'd noticed that he ran hot in the few spars back at the academy when we were matched up, but most people did when they were sweaty from training so I hadn't thought much of it. I suspected now that he was just generally warm, and it was a struggle not to be too obvious about the fact that I was contemplating his worth as a hot water bottle.

Probably best not. Other than spars and the odd incidental touch - Kakashi had developed a truly annoying habit of ruffling my hair, which, given that he'd only been our sensei for a fortnight, did not bode well for the future - I don't think I'd had any human contact since…

Huh. Since Tsukuyomi, when adult-me had held Sasuke-me and been stabbed a lot by Itachi. That was depressing. Had no one given me a hug when my entire clan died? I don't think they did.

Jeez, canon-Sasuke. Your basket-case-ness was getting more understandable by the second.

"On the house!" Teuchi said when I tried to pay. "Celebration gift for graduating, all three of you!" He beamed, and Naruto grinned back, wide and relaxed and genuinely happy.

"You're the best, old man!" he shouted as Sakura and I said our much politer thanks.

"Hey, we should do this again, right?" he said, arms crossed behind his head. "Team Seven tradition, ramen at the ramen stand!"

"It was nice," Sakura agreed. "Maybe not after every mission, but we should definitely have team dinners more. Oh, or mochi!" She turned to me and blinked hopefully. "You like sweet things, right Sasuke-kun?"

"Hn," I agreed, too full and too sleepy to care if she knew that because she was a stalker or if I'd ever actually said it. I could forsee an awkward you-hang-up-no-you-hang-up-first kind of situation as both of them dithered about ending the evening, so I waved goodbye and turned to go. "See you in the morning."

"Oh, Sasuke-kun, I could walk home with -"

"I live the other way," I called over my shoulder. Whichever way Sakura lived, the Uchiha compound was far enough removed that it would be the wrong way. I buried my hands in my sleeves for warmth and let my mind drift for all of a minute before I heard hurried footsteps catching me up.

"Seriously, Haruno," I started, then stopped when I saw it was Naruto behind me. I turned towards him, but he just fidgeted instead of saying anything. "Um. Uzumaki?"

His expression firmed in determination. "Here," he said, thrusting a small container at me. "It's from Ayame-chan. For - for being a team." I took it, mildly confused. Why hadn't she given it to us in the restaurant? Also, it was way too light to be ramen. It looked like a segment of a bento box. "And," Naruto continued, "You should call me Naruto. I don't mind."

Oh, hell no. We were not bonding. I tried to give the box back. "Uzumaki -"

"Did you mean it?" he asked, completely ignoring me. "About old lady Emiyo?"

I paused. I mean, come on. What was I supposed to say to that? No, I think she was right to treat you like less than dirt? I wasn't a great person but I wasn't actual garbage. "She was being rude," I settled for saying, and hoped it was sufficiently noncommittal.

"You're one to talk," he said, but he sounded pleased. Feck. I scowled, attempting to regain my aloofness and distance.

"I'm not calling you Naruto."

"You did before! It's not hard. Say it with me, Na-ru-to."

"You're a pest and a menace and I regret being on a team with you."

"Aw, it's ok Hime-chan. Some words are hard. Just keep trying, you'll get there eventually."

"No."

.

The box, which Naruto had successfully distracted me from giving back to him, damnit, ended up containing a trio of red bean mochi balls. They were coloured pink, and I was right; they were in a bento box segment. I'm pretty sure it was Ayame's, and I had no idea how to react to the fact that Naruto had asked if they had anything sweet just because Sakura said I liked sweet things.

Or to the fact that it was apparently important enough that Ayame had given her own dinner to Naruto to pass on to me. Maybe she was just a pushover. She probably made spares. Someone else gave her mochi and she didn't like it but was too polite to say so now she was relieved to be able to regift it to me. Exactly.

"I am trying really hard not to make you sad when I leave, idiot," I muttered, pulling out one of the sweets. "Some help would be appreciated."

.

Kakashi: So I adopted a pomeranian and he's all growley and bitey, what do
Pakkun: Did you pat him on the head and tell him he was a good boy?
Kakashi: Yes but it didn't work
Pakkun: Did you feed him?
Kakashi: OH