Feeling like she was walking in a daze, Lucy stepped towards the door, reaching out her hand to knock, even though she knew it was pointless with Kojo barking his head off on the other side; he had to know someone was here by now. As the door was suddenly ripped open, leaving Lucy's hand hanging in mid-air, she knew she was right. She took a step backwards, back out into the rain; it helped her feel more grounded as she took him in, standing in the doorway in nothing but a t-shirt and a pair of sweatpants, his feet bare. With a start, Lucy realized she had never seen his bare feet before- it made things feel all that more intimate, as weird as that sounded.
"Hi," Tim said softly, as if he wasn't shocked to find her standing in front of his house, her hair hanging heavy around her face as the rain dripped freely down her body, at 11 o-clock at night. Although, considering the day they'd just had, maybe he wasn't.
"Hi," Lucy replied breathlessly, feeling her heart rate start to accelerate as she realized that she was really here, in person, and that he had seen her, and there would be no going back from this moment.
"Do you want to come in?" he asked, gesturing towards the inside of the house.
"No," she said, shaking her head quickly as she leaned back on her heels. "I'm good here."
Tim nodded slowly, his gaze fixed on her face as he leaned against the doorframe, crossing his arms in a way that suggested he was apprehensive about where this surprise visit was about to go.
Although Lucy had been reciting her speech for the entire 30-minute drive over here, now that she was back standing in front of him, she found she was at a loss for words. Her mind kept flashing back, unbidden, to the last time they were together, just a mere few hours ago, huddled together on the storage unit floor as they watched the tendrils of smoke begin to float towards them. His hand gently cradling her cheek as his lips met hers, gentle at first, then more desperate as the air continued to grow heavier around them. Her hand stroking through his close shaven hair, tongue sweeping against his bottom lip, eliciting a moan from deep in his throat that lit a fire between her thighs she wasn't sure she'd ever be able to put out.
Shaking her head, Lucy brought herself back to reality, realizing that she needed to say something, anything, to keep him from coming closer to her, because if he did that, she was going to lose every thought left in her brain.
"How's your head?" she asked, cocking hers to the side. "You got hit harder than me I think."
"Got a headache," he said, reaching up to touch the back of his head gently, in the same spot that was aching on hers. "No concussion though."
"That's good," Lucy nodded.
"They check you for smoke inhalation?" he asked, even though she knew he already knew the answer.
"Yeah," she replied, then taking a deep breath, Lucy continued softly, "Tim. We need to talk."
She watched as he closed his eyes, a pained expression crossing his face as he pressed his lips into a hard line.
"I'm not gonna be able to talk you out of this, am I?" he asked, opening his eyes to find hers again, an almost pleading look reflected in his deep blue gaze.
Lucy bit her lip, looking down at the ground as she shook her head. They needed to have this talk, now, whether he wanted to or not.
"Will you at least come inside please?" he asked, holding his arm out to her as he stood up tall. "You're going to catch a cold out there."
"I'm soaked," she said, gesturing towards her water sodden hoodie and leggings that were now plastered to her thighs. "I'll get your floors all wet."
"Yeah well, maybe you should've thought of that before you walked outside without a jacket on," he said, shaking his head. "They should've checked you for a concussion."
"They did," Lucy said, a small smile flashing across her face- he did have a point. She was not in her most rationale state of mind at the moment, but after everything that had happened in the last 8 hours, she felt like she had a solid excuse.
"C'mon," he said, beckoning towards her again. "I've still got those clothes you used, last time…" he trailed off, but Lucy could hear the echo of the words he left unsaid. Last time you were here, after Jackson died.
Lucy nodded her thanks, her feet finally moving from the place she had planted them, bringing her over the threshold of Tim's new home. Their arms brushed together lightly as she stepped past him into the house, sending a shockwave throughout her whole body.
"I'll uh, go grab those and put them in the guest bathroom," Tim said, clearing his throat, and if Lucy didn't know better, she would say that he was as affected by their sudden contact as she was.
"Okay," Lucy said, squatting down to say hello to Kojo. She winced as the back of her head throbbed, not happy with the sudden change in posture. She heard a door click shut, then watched as Tim leaned into the bathroom, depositing the clothes on the counter before re-entering the living room.
"Bathroom's all yours," he said, lingering by the couch.
"Thanks," she answered, slowly rising from the floor before making her way into the hall. Walking into the bathroom and seeing the same black t-shirt laid out for her, Lucy felt a wave of sadness wash over her as she remembered how she had felt the last time she wore it. As she stripped out of her wet clothes, she tried to distract herself from those feelings, but the alternative was thinking about what had happened earlier today.
It had been a fairly routine call; someone had reported seeing 2 individuals entering an abandoned warehouse carrying "suspicious looking" duffle bags. Tim and Lucy had responded, on alert for what they might find inside. They made their way through the building, careful to check around every corner before entering a room. They found their suspects on the second floor, standing over what looked to be like a bunch of contraband weapons. Lucy glanced at Tim, his hand already making its way towards his walkie to call it in. They both turned their eyes back towards the doorway to make sure they hadn't been seen when Lucy felt something hard smash into the back of her skull, and a rag that reeked of chloroform was shoved over her nose. Lucy tried to fight, but she had already inhaled too much of the drug during her initial reaction to the blow. As she sank to her knees, she glanced over to see Tim already on the floor, a hulking man carrying an AK-47 standing over him. The last thing she heard as she slipped towards unconsciousness was a man sneer from behind her, "Hey guys, look what we found."
When Lucy had come to, she found that Tim was still unconscious, laying in a heap on the floor next to her. Seeing him there, not moving, sent a bolt of fear straight through her heart. "Please be alive," she whispered to herself as she leaned over him, listening for breath sounds while pressing her fingers against his neck. Thank god, a pulse, she thought, feeling the steady beat of his heart beneath her fingers.
"Tim, wake up," she said, lightly shaking him. He moaned, causing her to shake him again until his eyes fluttered open.
Once they had both determined that the other was more or less okay, they began to take in their situation. They had been stripped of all of their gear; their belts were gone, along with their body cameras, watches and phones. They had no way of contacting the outside world, or even knowing what time it was. They were in what looked to be an empty storage unit, concrete walls all around them with only a metal door in front of them, which was locked from the outside. There was not a single thing in the unit that they could use to possibly escape, or even injure their assailants, if or when they came back.
At first, they tried to stay calm, convincing themselves that their attackers would be back for them at some point. They clearly wanted something from them, otherwise they would have just killed them initially when they had the chance. Tim and Lucy distracted themselves by talking. At first it was their usual, lighthearted, at times borderline flirtatious banter, which then turned into more serious, heart to heart talks about family, relationships, and regrets. But, as the hours dragged on and not a footstep was heard, the hope they had slowly started to wane.
Lucy began to feel a familiar panic start to rise as she thought about how tightly the door was shut, and the possibility that they might be sealed in here with a limited supply of oxygen left. Tim provided a good counter argument for that, bringing her to the door and placing her hand against the seal. She could feel a tiny draft of air waft past her fingers, but it wasn't much, not enough to replace all the CO2 they had been exhaling for god knows how long. Seeing her breath continue to quicken as she tried, and failed, to stop the panic attack that was growing like a wave within her, Tim pulled her down to the floor, wrapping her in his arms as he sat back against the wall, Lucy leaning against his chest.
"Try to match your breathing with mine," he murmured in her ear, taking slow, exaggerated breaths that Lucy could feel with his chest rising and falling against her back, while his thumbs traced soothing circles against her arms. It took a few minutes, but Lucy eventually got her breathing under control, matching him breath for breath. Wrapped up in his embrace, with his head resting gently against hers, Lucy felt a familiar sense of comfort that she only ever experienced when in the company of this man begin to envelope her. Despite their situation, something deep inside Lucy was really enjoying this moment, and didn't necessarily want it to end just yet. Until they heard the voices, that is.
"Okay boss, the shipment is all set," a voice said from down the hall, sending both Tim and Lucy scrambling for the door. They each stood on one side as they stared wide-eyed at each other, listening intently.
"About time," another voice grumbled, sounding closer than the last.
"The only thing left to do is deal with them," the first voice said, and Lucy knew they were talking about her and Tim.
"You sure you weren't followed on your drive over here?" the other voice asked, confirming their fear that they were no longer in the abandoned warehouse that the precinct knew as their last known location.
"100% sure, Tommy and I doubled back 3 times."
"Well good, there's no way to trace them back to us. They saw your faces?"
"They saw Jayden and Talon with the goods. The girl might've seen Tommy too before she passed out."
"Then they burn with the rest of this dump," the boss said with finality.
"What?" Lucy gasped in horror as Tim slammed his hand against the door, yelling for them to listen. It didn't do any good- Lucy could hear their footsteps fade, causing Tim to slump against the door in defeat soon after.
"Tim," she said, the panic returning to her voice.
"Let's stuff our shirts under the door," he said, already taking off his uniform, then his white shirt underneath. "This place is mostly concrete and metal, so I don't know how well it will burn, but if we can keep most of the smoke out…" he trailed off, and Lucy had a feeling it was because he heard how improbable that sounded. If their assailants lit this building on fire, they would die of smoke inhalation before the fire ever reached them, and some balled up pieces of cotton and wool wasn't going to stop that.
"I can't, I can't do this again," Lucy said tearfully, sinking down to her knees in the far corner of the space, burying her head in her hands.
"Hey, hey, look at me," Tim said, sitting down in front of her while gently pulling her hands away from her face. "You're not alone this time, okay?"
"And that's supposed to make me feel better?" she said, giving him a tearful but exasperated look.
"Maybe they were just bluffing," he said weakly, but Lucy could tell that he wasn't convinced.
So, they did the only thing they could do- they sat, and they waited, Lucy holding her hand out to Tim, which he wordlessly took in his own. Only a few minutes passed before Lucy smelled the unmistakable smell of smoke. The tears started sliding down her face faster now, and she did nothing to stop it.
"Lucy," Tim said quietly from where he sat next to her, in a more serious tone than she had ever heard from him. She turned towards him to find him staring at the door, where tendrils of smoke were starting to make their way through.
Taking a deep breath, he turned towards her, his blue eyes meeting hers as he said, "There's something you deserve to hear, and this may be my only chance to tell you."
Lucy stopped breathing at hearing those words, the fire momentarily forgotten. She had no idea what he was about to say, but she had a feeling it was going to be big.
"Lucy, when we were talking about Ashley earlier… I wasn't totally honest with you. I broke up with Ashley, not the other way around. And I didn't tell you that, because I knew if I did you would ask why, and if you asked why, then I was going to have to tell you that it was, well, it was because of you."
Feeling like the floor had just been ripped out from beneath her feet, Lucy uttered the only coherent thought that was currently left in her head. "What?"
Sighing, Tim continued, "It has come to my attention that I might have, do have," he corrected, a slightly pained expression on his face, as if someone was forcing this confession out of him, "feelings for you. Out of all the women in my life, you're not only the one I spend the most time with, but, I've realized you're the one I want to spend the most time with. You've been by my side through it all, saw me through stuff even Isabel was too afraid to touch. You can make me do things that I don't want to, but should do, and you've made me a better person for it. Dating Ashley kind of made me realize that I don't actually have that, or more importantly, want that, with anyone else, so that's why I ended it. And then, when you told me you were dating someone, I had an irrational urge to go punch something, and that urge did not disappear after I did punch something, multiple times, so that was confirmation enough for me that I was right."
Lucy just continued to stare at him, at a complete loss for words.
"You don't have to say anything," he said, a small smile ghosting over his lips. "I just needed to get that off my chest."
"Tim, I…" Lucy said, blinking against the smoke that was starting to burn her eyes. I have feelings for you, his voice echoed in her head, breaking open some piece of her heart that she had been carefully guarding for some time now. Maybe I have feelings for you to, her heart replied back, but for once in her life, Lucy Chen didn't feel like wasting the moment on words.
Before she was even fully aware of what she was doing, she was leaning over, carefully brushing her lips against his as she squeezed the hand that was still in her grasp. She pulled back, just far enough to see his eyes lock on her own. They stayed like that for a second, staring at each other, before their lips crashed back together, Tim gently pushing Lucy down until she was lying underneath him, her head resting against his arm as she wrapped hers around his back. As the air grew thicker and their kisses grew more desperate, Lucy wasn't sure she had ever felt more alive than she did in this moment.
Then, as quickly as it started, their doomsday make-out session came to a screeching halt as they heard someone shout, "LAFD, is there anybody in here?"
"Oh my god," Lucy said as she and Tim jumped up, running to the door and banging on it like their lives depended on it, which in fact, they did.
"Over here!" they yelled, and before they knew it, the door was opening, and 2 firefighters were reaching for them through the smoke. But, before they were escorted through the flames, Lucy glanced over to see a look of pure fear on Tim's face, and Lucy knew that it had nothing to do with the actual fire they were about to walk through.
After that, everything had been a whirlwind. They were whisked away to the hospital in separate ambulances, and were met with about half the Mid-Wilshire station as soon as they arrived. The nurses kicked everyone out to examine them, but once they had been cleared, a never-ending line of people came to visit, who had apparently spent the better part of the day searching for them. Finally at the end of the line, Lucy saw Nolan, Nyla, and Tamara, who informed her that they had just seen Tim, and he was doing fine. Not long after that, Lucy was cleared to go home, and Tamara was wheeling her out of her room to the car.
"Do you want to see Tim?" Tamara asked as they made their way towards his room.
"I really just want to go home," Lucy said, knowing that if she saw him now, in front of Angela and Sargent Grey and Tamara, that everyone would be able to read what had happened all over her face in a matter of seconds.
"Okay," Tamara said, a note of suspicion in her voice as she continued past his room.
Once they got home, Lucy had jumped in the shower, shampooing her hair twice in an effort to get the smell of smoke out of her hair, but she was pretty sure it was a lost cause. After leaving the bathroom, she found that Tamara had made her some comfort food- tomato soup and grilled cheese, which was very sweet of her, but Lucy really wasn't in the mood for eating. She mainly sat there, twirling her spoon in her soup, replaying the day's events over and over in her head. Well really, one event in particular.
"Okay, spit it out," Tamara said from where she had been watching Lucy play with her food for the last 10 minutes. "What happened between you and Tim today?"
Lucy sighed, knowing that she needed to talk it through with someone, and Tamara was about the only person she could talk about it with. So, she told her everything.
After she had finished, she stared at Tamara. "I… I don't know what to do." She felt like she had finally grabbed a hold of something that was meaningful in her life, only to have it start slipping from her fingers from the moment she had it.
"Yes you do," Tamara said with conviction. "You need to go to him Lucy, don't let him get away."
"I don't know if he'll listen to me," Lucy admitted. "Not with the integrity of our jobs in question."
"Lucy, if you could trade your job for Jackson's life, would you?"
"I… what?" Lucy responded, shocked at her question. "Of course I would, why would you say such a thing?" she asked angrily.
"Then don't let your job get in the way of this," Tamara said seriously. "It's not as important as your happiness, his either."
That had decided it then. That's what prompted Lucy to leave the apartment, jacketless and…
"Lucy, you okay in there?" Tim's voice called, his fingers rapping against the door, interrupting her train of thought. With a start, Lucy realized she had been perched on the edge of the tub for probably about 10 minutes now, completely lost in thought.
"Yeah," she said, jumping up to open the door, only to find him standing right in front of it, a look of concern on his face. "Sorry, I was just, thinking," she continued, carefully slipping past him out into the hall.
"Are you sure your head feels okay?" he asked, leaning closer to stare into her eyes, examining them for any signs of glassiness or dilation.
"It's fine," she said, waving him away. "That's not why I'm so distracted."
Walking past him and into the living room, Lucy plopped herself down on the couch, curling herself into somewhat of a ball as she tucked her legs into her side, placing her right arm on the top of the couch as she leaned her right side against the back of the couch, propping her head up with her hand. Tim sat down on the other side, casually leaning against the corner of the couch while he crossed his arms, his eyes never leaving her face.
"About what you said, earlier," Lucy started, fingers playing nervously with the necklace that Jackson had given her, the one she never took off. "I never got to tell you how I feel, about all of it."
"No," he said slowly, shaking his head. "You didn't."
At least he wasn't shutting her down right away. Taking a deep breath, Lucy began to put the thoughts that had been bouncing around in her head for the past few hours into words.
"What you said, about us spending a lot of time together, and being there for each other through everything, more than anyone else has, that's just as true for me as it is for you. I can't imagine dealing with everything I have in the last year without you there supporting me, every step of the way. You mean… a lot to me, you have for awhile, but lately it's felt like more than that. When you started dating Ashley, I'm not proud to admit it, but I was really jealous. I tried to hide it, although I'm not sure I did the best job of it. That's when I realized that I do have feelings for you- but I never thought you'd feel the same way, so I never said anything."
Tim nodded slowly, asking, "What about your boyfriend?"
"I'm going to see him tomorrow to break things off with him, regardless of how this conversation goes. I realized today that I was using him more as a distraction from you than anything else, and that's not fair to him."
Nodding again, Tim's mouth started to open as she held up her hand to stop him.
"I'm not done yet," she said, causing him to raise his eyebrows at her. "I know our work situation makes all of this complicated, and I know how much the job means to both of us. But Tim, after today, I can't just ignore this anymore, and I don't want to. If the barrel, losing Jackson, and hell, if what happened today has taught me anything, it's that I need to live my life without any regrets, because my time here on this earth is never guaranteed, and I don't want to waste it pushing aside my feelings for the job. And I know that if I continue to do that, and not give us at least a chance, then I'm going to regret that decision for the rest of my life."
She paused there, letting the gravity of those words sink in. She swore she saw his eyes widen slightly at her proclamation, but his face remained as stoic as ever. "Plus," she added with a shrug, "I don't think I'm going to be able to continue riding with you in the shop for 8+ hours a day without wanting to kiss you senseless now, so there's that too."
That earned her a surprised chuckle as he said, "Yeah, I don't think I can go back to the way things were either. And honestly Lucy, I don't want to."
They stared at each other for a moment, Lucy blinking in shock as she took in what he just said. She had been expecting him to put up way more of a fight than this.
"You don't?" she asked cautiously, holding her breath.
"No. It's like you said, I don't want to live with any regrets," he said simply, uncrossing his arms as he leaned forward, resting his elbows against his thighs as he propped his head up in his hands. "If this… whatever this is between us," he said, waving his hand in her direction, "turns out to be something real, then we'll cross the work bridge when we get to it, we'll figure something out."
"Okay," Lucy said, a relieved smile spreading across her face as she nodded.
"Now, I don't know about you," Tim continued as he slowly stood up, wincing slightly as he walked over to her and held out his hand. "But my head hurts, and I'm tired, and I've had enough feelings talk to last me for a year. It's time to get some rest."
"Tim Bradford," Lucy said incredulously, staring up at him in shock. "Are you asking me to come to bed with you?"
"Not like that Chen," he said, rolling his eyes. "It's half past midnight, there's no way I'm letting you drive home now. Trust me, I'm planning on doing this whole thing right, first date and everything. But for now, it's time for bed. You can join me, only if you think you can stay on your side, and keep your hands to yourself."
"Oh is that right?" Lucy asked, letting him pull her up. "Challenge accepted Bradford. But just so you know, if you're thinking of dating me, that will definitely not be the last time you're talking feelings this year."
"What am I getting myself into," he muttered, but he kept a hold of her hand as he led the way to his room, Kojo following suit behind them. Lucy wasn't sure how to answer his question, yet, but she had a feeling deep down in her soul that it was going to be something great.