Chapter Nine
Fallout
"What did you say?"
I didn't need to turn to face Danse in order to know he was glaring. I could feel his icy stare piercing my back, as a shiver passed down my spine. "I'm the General of the Minutemen. "I continued my pace downhill.
I didn't hear Danse's footfalls till I reached the rusted fence. "You're the General?" He repeated, his voice strained with barely contained anger. "But how, when?"
"A week after I left the vault."
"A week?"
"I did tell you the General was green, didn't I?"
"Yes but you didn't tell me it was you."
"I didn't say it wasn't though."
He let out a half groan half sigh of frustration. "Omission is the same as lying Emery." He said through clenched teeth. "You hid the truth."
My shoulders braced with his words. While true, his tone of voice unsettled something within me. "I …" I said quietly, looking down at anything that wasn't him.
"What happened to honesty?" he said his tone rising. "You had promised no more lies. "
I remained quiet as his anger flared. He was pissed, and rightfully so. His anger had always been like an icy storm. Slow to set in but piercing with intensity. Now though, his anger was burning, and his cheeks were flushed with it. "Why did you hide it from me in the first place?"
I chewed on the bottom of my lip, I didn't want to have this conversation now. "I don't know…" I said glancing away, "Could we have this conversation later?"
"I'm tired of you holding things back from me!" I Could clearly hear the frustration in his tone, "The topic has come up and you have deliberately avoided it, and worse you lied to me! You could have told me earlier, yet you lied about it."
"I'm sorry I lied about it, but could we just drop it for now? I will tell you everything, just please can we wait till later?" My knees felt like they were about to buckle any minute. I looked up at him, my eyes silently pleading with him.
Danse shook his head, and turned away, breaking eye contact. "We'll let the matter drop for now." He said gruffly. "But I expect the truth in the morning-and I mean all of it."
I watched him for a moment, carefully walking down hill, avoiding loose rocks on the path. Letting out a sigh I wrapped my arms around myself. I didn't know what was worse, his anger, his silence or the barrier of his rank that he hid behind. I couldn't blame him. After all I had concealed, I deserved it.
Guilted ebbed my shoulders as I watched him walk ahead of me, while the silence gnawed at me. "Danse…"
He paused but didn't look back. His posture stiff. "What is it Knight?"
I flinched at the use of my title. "I'm sorry…"
He didn't say a word, and for a moment I thought he would walk ahead as if I hadn't said anything. Until he turned his head slightly and looked at me through the corner of his eye, his shoulders relaxed slightly. "We'll discuss it further in the morning, Knight." And he continued.
I pinched my eyes tight and took a deep breath.
We had reached the small old footbridge as I gazed out towards Sanctuary. It had been months since I was last here.
Against the dark night sky, all I could see was the crumbling walls that were nothing more than ghostly silhouettes of some previous existence. The wind whistled through the trees bringing with it the sound of laughing children and the hustle and bustle of a small community.
Vividly I could picture my life before the bombs. Plants green and filled with so much vibrant energy. Houses colored with splendor, while a gentle breeze blew the scent of flowers with an undertone of cooking food. Familiar faces lined the streets like ghost, passing greetings to one another. I saw children playing catch, husbands tending to their lawns while their wives busied themselves with their prized gardens.
How was it that just a thought could conjure up such images to the surface? I blinked once then twice, and the world melted back to my harsh reality of today. Dust and rust littered the ground. Collapsed walls and broken roofs filled my vision.
Preston was at the back of the entrance to Sanctuary, I noticed when reality came back to me. He glanced up and pushed his hat back on his head. "General." He greeted, and he pushed himself off the wall. He casted a cautious look towards Danse, then fixed his eyes on me with a warm smile on his face.
"Am I glad to see you."
Smiling I gave him a nod. "It's good to see you again Preston." I said returning his firm shake of my hand. "Sorry I haven't been back in a while, its just-"
Preston held up his hand and smiled. "You don't need to explain General." He said, "Miss. Wright filled me in about tracking down Kellogg."
"Does that mean she's still here?"
"Arrived a day before yesterday, had a scoop that distracted her after you left Diamond city." He said with a nod. "Mr. Valentine and Hancock just showed up too. The three of them are catching MacCreedy up."
The memory of how I treated Nick and Hancock rose to the surface of my mind, and molded another lump of guilt in my stomach. "I'll have to check in with them later." I felt Danse's growing impatience beside me and noticed Preston's quick glances towards Danse. I folded my arms over my chest as my lips pressed into a firm line. I didn't want to deal with another my friends meet Danse situation. "Preston, this is Paladin Danse of the Brotherhood and my sponsor. And um, Danse this is Colonel Preston of the Minutemen, and a close friend of mine."
A brief unrecognizable expression crossed Preston's face before he extended his hand to Danse. "Pleasure to meet you Sir."
I felt myself physically relax when Danse grasped his hand. Thankfully Preston could keep a level head and not take a stab at poking the grizzly bear, or I guess it would Yaoi Gui. I knew from previous conversations, that Preston did not hold the Brotherhood in good lighting. But at least he could be civilized about it, and not handle it like Hancock had. "We'll be staying here for a few days." I said drawing both men's attention. "But then were off to the Glowing Sea."
Preston's face went completely blank with shock and then resolved itself into an expression of horror. "You aren't seriously considering going down there?" He said, "You gotta be pulling my head or something."
Despite myself I let out a snicker, "it's 'pulling my leg,' and yeah, I got no choice." I said as I pushed open the door to the settlement. "We have a lead about an ex-institute scientist hiding down there."
"If you're sure General I know I can't stop you once you made up your mind." He said as he adjusted his hat. "And if I can't stop you, I can help. What provisions do you need?"
"Radaway, but for now…" I said as I trailed off, taking in the sights of the new settlers that had arrived since I was last here. "could you give me an update on Minutemen business?"
Preston opened his mouth the speak but then clamped it closed, his eyes trailing over to Danse. I could understand Preston's hesitance, he didn't trust Brotherhood. I was slowly coming to terms that not a whole lot did. "Go ahead Preston." I said gently, "I trust Danse."
Danse blew air out of his nose and stared off towards the main gate with a guarded expression. Even if he claimed he wasn't bothered by the negative opinions the Commonwealth held for the Brotherhood, I could tell it bothered him slightly.
Preston returned his focus back towards me. I hadn't missed much based on his rundown. Just a few farmers had been threatened by a group of roaming raiders. Preston had handled it for me. With Radio Freedom up and running again it was a hell of a lot easier to stay connected with our settlements.
"Where do you broadcast this signal?" Danse asked looking genuinely curious. "There aren't any long-range broadcasting towers up and running in the Commonwealth."
"Back in 2240 the Minutemen of old had established a broadcast tower at the Castle, or the old military base by the airport." Preston said, adjusting his rifle on his shoulder. "With the help of our General we took back the Castle from a colony of Mirlurks and their Queen."
Danse turned to me with a face of wild bewilderment. "You fought a Mirklurk Queen?"
I flinched, guess there was a lot more things I had been hiding from him. He wouldn't approve of most of the fights I had gotten myself ensnared in, or the solutions I took to get myself unsnarled. Sometimes hiding the truth was better than hearing it. But I wasn't about to tell him that. I opened my mouth, but Preston jumped in, "You should have seen her! She had run the whole perimeter of the fort to lure out all the Mirlurks while I and some other Minutemen had set up a firing range." I groaned and tried to hide from the looks Danse was sending me. If looks could kill. Preston please for the love of all that it good, stop talking… "We had made quick work of the smaller ones, until the queen had surfaced. That thing was massive and boy was she angry. The fight last ages, but the General was relentless. Drew all the focus on herself to make sure none of us got hurt. I don't know what we would have done without her!"
By now Danse's looks of appalment turned into a look of disapproval. More than likely Preston's story would be added to the growing list of things I hid from him. I turned away unable to look at his expression any longer.
The fight had been one of the hardest ones I had fought-excluding Kelloggs. We had gone in thinking we'd only be taking on regular Mirlurks and their spawns but had been overwhelmed instantly. We were fortunate that no one had been seriously injured, just the occasional burns from the acid, and my sliced side when a Mirlurk got to close.
"Oh I just remembered." Preston said, "One of the generators blew out. I'd have Sturges take a look, but he busy with that damn purifier again. Think you could take a look? It's on the other end of the settlement."
"Sure, but uh, "I mumbled slowly, taking a cautionary glance towards Danse. "think you could give the Paladin a tour of Sanctuary and set him up with a place for the night?"
I thought distantly that he could bunk with me but had dismissed the notion. One look at the scowl on his face told me he wasn't in the mood to be around me at the moment. I couldn't blame him after the bomb I dropped on him.
Well two bombs really…
I turned towards Danse who gave me a pointed look, "I'll meet up with you later."
He didn't utter a word as I left him with Preston.
Danse watched Emery until she disappeared behind a building. He was furious with her. She had promised him honesty! That she would let him in, and she does what? Hide and lie to him! What could she possibly have been thinking? Didn't she trust him?
But yet the more he thought about it, the more it made some sense as to why she would conceal what she did. It wasn't every day that someone walked out of a Vault and say they had been frozen since the bombs had fallen.
He still couldn't wrap his mind around the idea of her being prewar; being frozen for decades while the world moved on. She came from such a peaceful era, which explained a lot. When he had first met her, she was so defenseless, could barely hold a gun let alone shoot one. Sure she was nimble and quick, but she couldn't defend herself. Hell she still couldn't, not like him. Not like a Wastelander.
And he just had written that all off as Vault upbringing.
She had gone into that Vault putting her life and her family lives in Vault-tech; trusting them to keep her safe, and they failed her. Instead of living a peaceful life, she was thrown into a world she didn't know, yet recognized all the same. She lost her family her friends, all she had ever known.
Her statements from earlier made a lot more sense now. Kellogg hadn't killed the Vault Dwellers, Time had. And her family-her father and Brothers had been lost to the bombs, not the merc.
And in a way, she hadn't truly lied to him, but then again white lies were still just lies.
He couldn't imagine what she must have gone through, she had lost everything for trusting Vault-Tec. Yet instead of casting suspicion to everyone after such an event she was still ready and willing to help others. Putting herself in between to protect some stranger she had met. She did it with the Minutemen and she had done it for him when she helped fend off the police station from ghouls. That was the reason he had recruited her, because she had that desire to help.
She had put others first, and here she had been suffering the whole time and he never knew.
Knowing what he knew now, it painted Emery in a whole new light, and he found a warmth flooding through him. She was unlike anyone he had ever met. She was explosive, acted before thinking, yet she always worried about others. She had a quick temper but was energetic and cheerful. Not to mention incredibly reckless, always putting herself in harms way instead of others.
The warmth in his chest thundered and gave a painful lurch. He could have done more. When he first met her, he could have briefed her more about the world she had walked into, instead of giving her harsh reprimands and telling himself that a Vault dweller had to learn to live in this world or die.
He smiled to himself, she had come a long way since she stumbled upon him, but she could have been better if he had only given her time, if he had just been patient from the start.
The sound of barking drew his focus as a large dog rushed past Preston and himself. Following in the direction Emery went in, barking the entire way.
"That's Dogmeat." Preston said with a nod towards the retreating canine. "He's practically glued to the hip with Emery. Been that way since I met her in Concord."
"I didn't know she had a dog." He said more to himself. There was a lot he apparently didn't know about Emery. He didn't like it.
Preston nodded with a grin, "Damn good dog too." He said, "back when I was holed up in the Museum of Freedom, surrounded by a group of raiders, swear I thought for sure they were gonna get us. When out of nowhere this Vault dweller shows up with her dog and starts fending them off. Well she tried and got lucky-Em was a damn poor shot back then. But her and Dogmeat managed to get to us."
"Had she just left her Vault?"
"Hmm." Garvey hummed and turned towards the main gate. "Come on, I'll give you the details while I give you the grand tour. Not much to look at now, but it's gonna be."
"Affirmative." Danse said as he followed after the Colonel. He wasn't entirely up to the prospect of a tour or being shown Minutemen territory-there not being anything to it. But he wanted to hear the rest.
"So Em and Dogmeat somehow take down the raiders that had gotten into the museum." He said as they walked. "Once there we formed a solid plan that we would gett he old Power armor that was up on the roof working again and take down the rest of the raiders."
There was an abandoned suit of power armor and a mini gun? Still operational? What were the odds, slim?
"Well except it was missing the fusion core, but there was one in the museum, oh-"Garvey paused and pointed off, "that's our market plaza-as the General puts it. You can buy weapons and armor as well as other trade goods. Its also where our supply line headquarters are.
Danse raised an eyebrow, supply line? How did the Minutemen get operating supply lines? Even the Brotherhood had tried to establish supply lines, yet had been attacked multiple times and had to put the operation on hold. "I wasn't aware that the Minutemen had a supply line going?"
Garvey rolled his shoulders, "we didn't till the General got it up and running. She had gotten a few more settlements to join up and convinced a few of the settlers here in Sanctuary to bring them trade good and vice versa. It had also been a way for us to stay connected with them before we took back the Castle." Garvey shook his head, a smile forming on his face, "That Emery though, she's got a way with words-well when she wants to."
Danse nodded, still surprised by her actions. It was certainly impressive. "Okay so where was I-ah yeah, so she gets the Power core and gets in the thing. The plan goes off without a hitch until we hear this monstrous roar." Garvey continued as they walked on ahead. "The fighting stops completely, all frozen and waiting. Couple of the raiders just book it on outta there, while some stay. Then all of a sudden the ground starts shaking-which causes Em to lose her footing and she falls off the roof. Good thing she was in that armor."
Danse felt his stomach clench at the very thought. He wasn't sure if he wanted to hear anymore, but it was too late into the story now. A roar could mean anything, from a super mutant, a behemoth, yaoi gui or a deathclaw. And the thought of Emery facing down any one of them sent a chill through his body.
"She picked herself up and then all of a sudden the angriest deathclaw I ever seen pops up outta the ground and starts tearing the raiders to shreds." Garvey said as he shook his head. "Em just stands there. I don't know if she froze from shock or terror, but she just locks up until the deathclaw zoned in on her."
Emery fought a deathclaw? And lived? His heart gave a violent lurch at the thought. Just leaving the Vault too. She must have been terrified. Even battle-hardened Brotherhood soldiers wouldn't willingly go toe-to-toe with one. He wouldn't himself, not if he could help it. "What happened?" Obviously she survived it, maybe she had ran?
"The craziest shit I've ever seen! She stood her ground raised the mini gun and started blasting the thing!" Garvey explained, his face a washed with pride and amazement. "It didn't back down and at some point, had pinned Em down! I thought for sure it would shred right through her armor, but she killed it before it could."
He just couldn't picture Emery fighting in a full suit of Power Armor and take down a deathclaw. She hated Power Armor-she wouldn't even use the one the Elder had given her. And yet she fought a deathclaw single handedly in one. That seemed more hard to believe than her being prewar.
"That Emery though." Garvey said, gaining Danse's attention. "We were-I was lucky she showed up when she did. I don't think I could have kept those Raiders off us for long. And just look at what she's done for the Minutemen. There wouldn't be any Minutemen without her!"
Danse let out a snort, at the prideful tone the younger man used. The Minutemen were not much by Brotherhood standards. They would never reach the level the Brotherhood was at. Even if they got more members, they would still be a bunch of untrained civilians playing at military.
Garvey studied him from under his militia hat, Danse noticed. "We may not seem like much to a Brotherhood officer." He said with a certain reserve to his tone. "But were getting there. Especially with Em leading us."
A silent tension hung in the air after the words were spoken. Neither men moved as the words sunk in. They seemed to have unsettle something within Danse. The words themselves weren't a threat, it was the tone he used. As if challenging him to question where Emery's loyalties lied. The Brotherhood, or the Minutemen.
He wanted to say with the Brotherhood, but when his gaze met Garvey's something in them made him question his answer. Garvey seemed almost certain of his own answer. And it made Danse question his own. Would she choose the Minutemen over the Brotherhood-over himself?
He felt his heart sink. No, she wouldn't do that, she wouldn't if she didn't have to. At least he hoped.
Garvey broke eye contact with a tilt of his hat, his expression soft, "now why don't I show you our barracks and armory."
"I would have thought everyone had their own place."
Garvey's eyes narrowed slightly, but he retained his friendly expression. "We are a military after all." He simply said. "Even if you Brotherhood types tend to think otherwise."
Danse had been about to retort-something about how they weren't organized enough to be called a Military when a woman marched up to them. Her eyes were ablaze with anger and her whole appearance showed how tired she was.
Garvey grimaced as she approached, but quickly smiled and said, "Good evening Mrs Long-"
"Don't give me that crap Garvey!" She hissed poking him in the chest with her finger like a dagger. "What is the Brotherhood doing here!?" She demanded sending a sneer towards Danse.
Garvey took a step back and pushed his hat up, "he's here with the General."
"And you think that's any better! Now all the Brotherhood will know about this location!" She growled out with clenched teeth. "I knew we couldn't trust that useless wanderer! She's been nothing but trouble since she crossed our path!"
Danse's eyebrows knitted together, he knew that the Commonwealth didn't have the highest opinions of the Brotherhood, yet he would have thought that the settlers trusted Emery. He drew his back straight and lifted his chin up. "I wouldn't worry Ma'am, the Brotherhood has known about this settlement for a while now. You have nothing to fear from us."
Mrs. Long's fists clenched at her sides, as her chest puffed up. She turned her sharp gaze back towards Garvey. "Did you hear that!" She lashed out. "They've known about us, and you wanna know who told them! It was your General and her big mouth! I knew-I just knew she wouldn't keep her big mouth shut!"
"We wouldn't even have this settlement if it weren't for Emery. And I don't think the Brotherhood are our eneimes." Danse noticed briefly the hesitantion underneath Garvey's tone. "Else they would have already attacked."
Mrs. Longs expression didn't fade as she glared the two of them down. "We'll see about that." She huffed and stalked off.
Once out of earshot, Garvey's shoulders slackened as he let out a breath. "She could give a deathclaw a run for their caps." He said shaking his head. "Don't hold her attitude against her though. The Longs lost their son a few days before we reach Concord-they've-we'll they haven't cooped. But it seems like their getting better. Jun-that's Mrs. Longs husband is talking and opening up a bit more and Marcy-well she was like that even before they lost their son. Em's tried to help but Marcy just bites her head off every time and now I think even Em's had enough."
Danse let out a snort, "That doesn't sound like the Gilmore I know." He said thinking back on all the times Emery lost her cool. "She has the patience of a deathclaw, and the temper of one."
Garvey smirked, "True that." He then turned towards the direction Marcy stormed off in. "I think Em can relate."
Garvey hadn't needed to elaborate. He knew Emery would have tried to be patient with a woman who also lost a child. Emery may have a short temper, but she had a kind heart.
They had continued on the tour for a good solid hour as Garvey showed him the main gate, along with the defense systems, equipped with two look out towers, a spot light and a pair of turrets. They had a junk fence along the perimeter of the settlement, allowing optimal protection against sneaky raiders or anything else that lurked in the waste.
Two large water purifiers lined part of the river. Much like the ones he had helped installed in the Capital Waste lands years ago. Danse was certainly impressed. Emery certainly knew how to organize a settlement. They had been about to double back when a familiar and unsavory voice called out to Garvey. Danse felt a shudder of displeasure snake throught him, he had almost forgotten that Garvey said the Ghoul was here.
The ghoul had an odd stride. It was slightly lurching as he walked towards them, perhaps he was leaning too far forward. It had the effect of making him stand out, and not in a good way.
When he approached his eyebrow-or where one would have been-arched. "I thought that was you Crew cut." The ghoul said nonchalantly. "What are you doing in Minutemen territory. Thought you Brotherhood types didn't come out this far North?"
Danse chose to ignore the bait and shot the freak a glare. "I'm here with Gilmore." Danse said abrasively. "To resupply before we leave on our mission." Emery could tell the Freak what the details were.
"Gilmore-oh!" Realization dawned on him as his face lit up like a lightbulb. Danse scowled at the expression. "Sunshine's here. Well I guess that explains your unwanted presences then."
Danse opened his mouth to say something he knew Emery would chew him out about when he heard a grizzled voice approach. "The kids here?" The synth said walking towards the group, with the reporter in tow and another younger man who Danse didn't recognize.
The new comer was young; had to be around Emery's age. His face was gaunt with a weathered expression that left the impression that the younger man had seen and possibly done thing in his life. His clothes were ragged and torn in places, with the sleeve of his jacket torn completely off. The young man clearly had no consideration to keeping an orderly appearance and if the state of his clothes didn't say it, than the layers of dirt and grim did. Garvey gave the man a nod. "MacCreedy." He said with a grin. "I take it your all up to speed."
"Yeah but I would have rather had heard it from the Boss." He said with a sullen almost childish pout. "I haven't seen her in ages."
Piper let out a snort and elbowed him in the ribs, "you sure its not cause you think she's pretty."
"No!-"
"Or that you love the way her hips swing when she walks?"
"Hancock you stay outta this!" MacCreedy growled, "she's the boss, that's all."
"Suuuree." Piper said placing her hands on her hips. "And that's why you watch her like a, well whats that bird that's supposed to haveghood eyes?"
"I think it was a sparrow." Garvey said rubbing his chin.
Danse heard the synth let out a laugh, "It's a hawk."
Danse watched the friendly banter between Emery's friends, they all seemed to get along with one another. Why these people would willingly associate with a ghoul and a synth was beyond him. He couldn't fathom why Emery placed her trust in abominations like the likes of them.
"So whose the walking tin can?" He heard the newcomer-MacCreedy whispered. Danse's lip curled at the nickname.
"That's Danse." The reported said, lighting a cigarette. "The Danse."
Danse didn't miss the scowl that briefly passed this MacCreedy's face. "That guy." He said with a nod, as he turned to look at Danse. "I didn't think he'd be so…big."
The ghoul howled with laughter. "Thats cause of that armor." He said, fixing his hat. "He's not much without it."
The synth snorted, "think you need yer eyes checked there Hancock." It said before drawing out a puff of smoke from his cigarette. Danse eyed he tobacco as it lit when the synth inhaled, feeling the crawling sensation as the smoke hit his senses. He couldn't remember the last time he had a cigarette, let alone wanting one. The synth spoke up, "So now that yer here Paladin, mind filling us in?"
Danse's eyebrow rose, as he gave the synth a calculating look, "What do you mean."
The ghoul jumped in, his voice sounding raspier than normal, "You know what he means crew cut." He said as he shot him a glare, "what the hell happened between now and when we last saw you guys in Goodneighbor."
Danse scowled at the Ghoul, but before he could say anything Garvey had jumped in, "Now that you mention it, she doesn't look herself, " He added tilting his hat back, "I've never seen her so-"
"Depressed," The Ghoul cut in as he turned to sneer at Danse. "So that gives me the impression that you did something. So what did you do Crew cut? Give her some military lecture on how showing your saddness is against decorum or some other bullshit excuse to hide your emotions?"
"And you think I had something to do with that?"
"Well you were the only person she's been with." He sneered, "So yeah I think you had everything to do with it!"
"Listen Freak!" Danse growled his patience at there limits. The ghoul may be Emery's friend, but he wasn't about to let the freak accuse him of something false. "You have no idea what the situation is, so you cant stand there and falsely accuse me of something I didn't commit."
The ghouls inhuman black eyes narrowed and crossed his arms over his chest, "resulting in name calling there crew cut?" He snapped, "well if you claim you have nothing to do with it, why don't you shed some light on us oblivious folk. Cause from where I'm standing you sure look like the guilty party."
He felt all eyes zero in on him. Did they all suspect he had something to do with her mood? He had caused her a great deal of stress with his constant pushing. He let out a half growl, half sigh and glared off towards the stream. He was furious she had hid things from him, and share that hidden knowledge to others. Why had he been the one that was kept in the dark? He didn't try and hide his feelings of frustration and anger towards her, she knew he was angry. Could that be the cause, her guilt at not telling him. No, this whole mess started with the Memory Den and escalated when they went into the Vault. "We had orders to investigate a Vault." He wasn't sure why he was telling them, it just came out. "Not until this morning did I know that the vault was hers."
A collective gasp passed over the group a a strained slice befell over them. Even the ghoul seemed to be at a loss for words. "When I told her she didn't need to go back down there, she told me she had to show me evidence of the truth." He said still feeling confused about the matter. It was still hard to wrap his mind around it. "That she was frozen from before the bombs."
"And you couldn't just believe her without it?" The words snapping from the ghouls mouth. " I knew you had to have something to do with it-"
"So your saying you believed her story immediately, no questions asked?" Danse threw back. His temper, which rarely flared was screaming to grab the ghoul and shake him. He was already angry enough, the ghoul was only added fuel to the fire. How dare he try and blame him for forcing Emery down there. "It's not possible, not with the technology they had back then."
The freak snorted and rolled his eyes, "Just cause your precious Brotherhood doesn't have that kind of technology doesn't mean its not there!"
"Don't you dare bring the Brotherhood into this you filthy degenerate!"
"Ooh back to name calling." The ghoul snickered. "Did I hit a nerve with that last one-"
"Enough!" A mechanical voice shouted.
Both paused and turned, equallly surprised when everyone was glaring at the two. "Your both acting like bickering children who broke the cookie jar!" The snyth barked out. "So shut it and act your damn ages. It doesn't matter who or what caused the problem, what matters is fixing it. And your bickering wont help."
The synth paused before speaking up again, "if you two wanna tear each other limbs off than do it when Emery's herself again. Then she can put you two in yer damn places, cause god knows I'm to old for this crap!"
The synths robotic gaze was so sharp and jarring that it caused Danse to back down. It appeared to have the same effect on the ghoul. "Good, now I'm gonna go see if I can find the kid."It said while its gaze moved from himself and freak, then to the others. "Lets try and keep it peaceful around her."
Danse watched it leave, feeling irritation spike. He had a point, and it only made Danse feel worse to even admit it. He shouldn't have lost his temper like that. They could play the blame game all night and it wouldn't help. He was a part of the problem, he would admit. But Emery had to hold some of the responiblity too. If she had only told him from the beginning they could have avoided most of this.
Garvey cleared his throat causing Danse to look back. The group had all dispurst, except for himself an Garvey. "I'll show you to one of the vacant houses you can crash in." The colonel said shifting his weight.
They walked in silence, the only noise around them were the distant voices of the settlers, and Danse's metal boots. They stopped in front of a run down home. Most of the roof was still intact, but its walls lacked pieces of it. Drapes had been hung over the holes, as well as the windows and doors to keep the air out. "This is th one you can use." Garvey said, "that one to our right was Emery's old home, though she wont use it."
"Where does she stay?"
"She built herself a small home down near the water. Its not big but she says she likes it down there." Garvey said turning towards the direction. "It's a little past where the generators are. If you follow the power lines you cant miss it."
Danse nodded his head, "thank you uh, " He wasn't sure what to call him. Colonel didn't sound right to him since they weren't an offical military. "Garvey."
"You can call me Preston." He said casually as he unslung his rifle. "Now if you need me, I'll be out patrolling. I'll catch you later Paladin."
Danse watched him leave with mixed feelings. Garvey-Preston, clearly had reservations about the Brotherhood that made it so he held Danse with suspicion, yet was polite. Out of all of the friends Emery had, Preston was the easiest to get a long with. Even if he was just a civilian pretending to be military. His heart was in the right place though. Helping the Commonwealth, so even if the Minutemen werent an organized group they still tried. Danse only hoped they wouldn't be crushed again like they had in Quincy.
With a wrench Danse tore his mind away from the Minutemen and walked towards the entrance of the house. He didn't feel at all comfortable leaving his suit outside in the open, but it couldn't be helped. The door was too narrow and too low to be able to fit through it. He let out a sigh and cracked open his armor. The pistons and gears letting out a hiss as it opened up. Before he unpacked and settled in, he would have to give it a tune up.
Which would give him plenty of time to think over what he should say to Emery after he gave her some time. He might have said he would talk with her in the morning, but if she was up he would talk with her then. He needed answers, and an explaination. Especially after his little confrontation with the ghoul.
It was late-perhaps three am. The moon was low in the sky, seen only now and then through the morning clouds. The clouds themselves were moving faster; the wind shifting and the morning mist breaking up in the turning hours between night and day.
I had filled most of the evening hour doing menial task; pulling weeds fixing generators, cleaning guns. Just distracting work that kept my mind busy. I had ran out of task to do and now found myself on my makeshift porch gazing out at the fog that swam around the creek. Listening to that mixed tape I had found those months ago. I couldn't sleep, nor did I even try. I had too much on my mind.
I knew I needed to confront my problems, but I wasn't ready yet. I needed more time to figure out what to say. To find the magic words that might fix things.
I felt Dogmeat shift a little on my lap before he let out a grunt in his tongue rolled out when I began to stroke his head. I smiled, since my return to Sanctuary, Dogmeat hadnt left my side and I found his presence relaxing. I felt a little better when he was around. I guess he knew it to, since he hadnt left my side.
I closed my eyes and melted into my surroundings and enjoying the stillness around me. Times like these it hardly felt as if the world had changed. I could pretend I was back in my time, enjoying a nice moment to myself.
A slight cough brought me back to my harsh reality. Turning I saw Danse, who by my surprise was out of his armor, standing at the edge of my porch. I hesitantly pulled my headphones out as Dogmeat's head perked up to the sound of a visitor. "Can't sleep?" Was all he said.
"I could say the same to you." By the look of his eyes, there was a concealed panic beneath them. "Had another night terror."
His brow creased and I realized I shouldn't have brought it up. "No." He said abrasively. "I thought we should talk, that is if your up to it"
I wasn't, but I had to learn to face my problems and run away from them, like always. "Wanna join me?" I said scooting over, which caused Dogmeat to jump down.
He shifted his weight to his other foot, then walked over and sat down. He seemed calmer than he had before, but I knew better than to trust what I saw on the outside. Danse was always good at keeping a lid on his emotions, a trick I had not learned.
He let out a sight and rubbed at the back of his neck, "So you were born two hundred and thirty-one years ago." He said with a somber chuckle. "Why didn't you tell me sooner?"
I let out my own sigh and leaned forward. "Would you have believed me if I had told you?" I said. He gave me a narrowed look but remained silent. " I didn't want to hide it from you, its just hard to fit those kind of topics into a conversation."
"Yet you told everyone else."
I pursed my lips and looked out at the wasteland. My gripped tightened in my lap, he wanted honesty. "I was afraid." I breathed out, closing my eyes, "I thought that well, I thought that you would bunch me in with the assholes who ruined the world. And I already knew you opinion on the minutemen. I didn't want my actions to reflect poorly on them."
He paused, "maybe if you had told me when we had first met, but now," He said slowly trailing off. "But now, I know you. Your not greedy, nor selfish, maybe too reckless for you own good. I just wish you had trusted me and told me the truth"
"But you don't approve-"
" I don't approve of you lying." He cut in harshly. I could feel his sharp gaze on me, which caused my shoulders to brace. "What you did before you met me isnt my business. I don't care that your prewar, or that you're the General of this rag tag group."
I held his gaze for a moment, all sorts of thoughts buzzing in my head like a bee's nest. "Were not that rag tagged." Was all that came out.
He peered down his nose, closed his eyes and let out a long breath. "I do, to some extent, understand why you didn't tell me." He rubbed his hand through his hair. "But I still would like to hear it from you."
There was a brief silence around us, only broken by the sound of Dogmeats snores. I tucked a few strands of my hair behind my ear and stared out at the fading night sky. The stars were disappearing as a light glow peeked out over the horizon. "Every time I told someone I was prewar they would treat me differently. Like I was made of glass, or they had to protect me like I would break if I stayed out in the sun for too long. Even the others to some extent treated me like that, well except for Nick." I hated being cuddled, even before the bombs. "I felt that if I had told you what I was, you would treat me the same; keep me back from the fighting, try to shield me from everything around me."
And he had to some extent, "That's why I had lost my temper at the Polymer lab. I understand that you wanted to protect me, but by that point I was sick of the cuddling everyone was doing." I leaned forward in my chair and rested my elbows on my knees. "I already felt like an outsider with everyone else, I didn't want to feel that way with you."
He let out a sigh and leaned back on the bench. "I wish you did tell me sooner." He said gently. "I could have helped you more-prepared you more about what you face out in the wasteland. Instead though I reprimanded you for not knowing."
I could hear the guilt in his tone, and felt my flare with it. I shook my head, "It was because you didn't cuddle me that I'm a better fighter today." I said, "because you pushed me."
"Its because I see the potential you have." He said as he leaned forward, "its just really deep down there."
We both gave a light chuckle at that. A comfortable silence hung in the air as the mist began to disparate, from the light breeze that came from the north. I could tell he was still angry with me, but not as much as before. Maybe with time I could make it up to him.
Or I could just tell him the truth and not hid things. That would be the best way.
I ran a hand through my hair and let out a sigh, it was time I told him the truth about the Memory Den, about what I saw. Even now the images danced in my head. "Danse, " I breathed out. "I think I'm ready to tell you what happened back at the Memory Den."
"If you need more time," his voice was apologetic, "I know I shouldn't have pushed you earlier, and I can wait."
"No, " I said as I leaned back on the bench, the wood making a loud creaking sound with the movement. "If I don't tell you now, I wont tell you at all."
He knitted his brow and watched me intently. I squirmed slightly under his gaze. Chewing on my lip I played with my hands. My pulse quickened as the words danced on the time of my tongue. "Nick and I connected out minds in order to view Kellogg's memories." I said saying the words very slowly as if it could calm my frantic heartbeat. "I saw Kelloggs memories; saw them through his eyes, moved as if I was him. I live parts of his messed up life, feeling as if it had happened to me. I lived through those memories as if I was Kellogg…"
God it was so messed up. I left that pod so disoriented so confused. It had felt so strange trying to pick apart what memory belonged to me, and what was Kelloggs. "All those memories; those images burned into my brain like a brander." My fist clenched and I felt bile rise in my chest. I hated that. I had to live his life through his eyes, experience it as Kellogg. "I felt so sorry for him. He had his whole life taken from him, just as mine had. And I hate that I feel sympathy for killing him!"
He stared as if I had just pulled a deathclaw from my pocket. I could imagine the gears in his head desperately trying to connect the dots and instead just getting jammed.
I continued, taking his silence as a que. Taking a deep breath, I clasped my hands together to hide the shaking. "But that's not the worst part. As revenge for killing him, he had me live through my husbands death once again. " My throat felt as though someone had a vice grip around my neck and my eyes burned. I could feel my shoulders quake which caused my breath to come up short, "he made me live through killing him. I watched through Kelloggs eyes as he raised his gun and shot him! It-it was as if I pulled that damn trigger and not him!" I let out the tears I had been holding back. I hadnt allowed myself to feel that pain of seeing that again. Emotional pain flowed out from every inch of my body as it shook with the sobbing, "he-he made me believe I had killed him, and now I feel sympathy for the bastard? How?"
I gripped my knuckles until they turned white. Tears poured out of my eyes in thick waves. Al I could think was staring down at my loaded pistol, pointing it towards my husband and I felt nothing; not an inch of remorse as the trigger was pulled. As if living it was worse enough, the bastard forced me to live through it again; through his fucking eyes! How could I possibly feel sympathy for the bastard!
I clenched my fist to stop from shaking, but it did nothing. Tears poured out of my eyes in thick wave. All I could think was seeing my hand raised at my husbands head and feel nothing.
As if living it once was enough, the bastard had one more way to torment me.
We sat there, the world turning into a blur, as did all the sounds and smells. Everything was gone. I tried to hold back the feelings rumbling inside me, but I couldn't. I My chest constricted as the tears and cried flowed out of me without a filter. I was tired, I couldn't hold them back any longer. Burying my face in my knees I futilely tried to quell the rage of despair that wracked my body. "A-and now," I tried to say, my voice hiccupping. "Everything time I close my eyes I can see my husband face before he died…I cant! I cant…"
My sobs became violent as my shoulders quaked with their rampage. I had no control of my mouth anymore, words just flowed freely without a care. Thoughts I had long since burried battled their way to the surface. Thoughts I had never voice, suddenly found their chance. "Why did it have to be Nate!" My voice was horse and broken, but I continued, as if on autopilot. "He would have found Shaun by now. He was the fighter! He could have taken this whole world head on and not have flinched! Y-yet it was me who crawled out of that Vault like some rad roach! Barely surviving!"
I felt a pressure grasp my hand and was pulled out of my cocoon of limbs. Shocked I stared up at him, my mind blank. His eyes bore into mine with a look I've never seen. Stern, cold, yet a burning in them that sent a shiver down my spine, "don't." He said with a semblance of calmness. "Don't give yourself such little credit. You have helped so many people, Garvey, all these settlers. Myself included…but what you've done out here despite what happened, its, well nothing short than outstanding. I don't think many would be able to stand in your shoe and accomplish what you have done. " His grip on my hand felt like they were clamped in forceps. "Despite what my feelings are towards the Minutemen, what you've done for them, and what your doing for the Commonwealth, is more than just surviving. So I don't want you thinking that way, not when you do so much good, and you will get your son back, and I will do anything it takes to help you."
As if my body had been turned onto autopilot, I reached out to him amd wrapped my arms around him, pulling him close. A sob broke out, but was muffled by his shoulder. He stood still, being this close I could hear his heart galloping, like a race horse.
But slowly, I felt the tension flow out of him as he wrapped an arm around me.
For the first time in the last few days I felt myself relax slightly, even with all that hap happened, it was a relief to know I hadn't screwed up my friendship with Danse, well not that badly.
But voicing what had gripped my mind left me unsettled and weak. It felt that much more real now. Before I could forget and push it down. But now, they were brought back to the surface, to be remembered. I closed my eyes, the images floated to the back of my mind as I felt the force of Danse's embrace keep them at bay; his words sinking in. It would be hard, and I would need to mussel up that courage I had been faking to push forward. I had to, if not for my own sake than for Shaun's. He was still out there, and wallowing in self pity wouldn't bring him back. "Thank you Danse," I breathed out, feeling a little silly. Somehow the words, 'thank you' didn't seem to fit.
"Your welcome," He said with a smile as he pulled away, "I'll always have your back, you just need to let me."
I rubbed at my eye, letting out a chuckle, "is that your way of telling me I should listen to you more?"
His chest puffed up just a bit, "you'd get injured far less if you did." He said sternly. He relaxed slightly and looked down at his hands. Suddenly he looked less like the commanding military persona I had grown accustomed to seeing, and more of unsure, self-conscious man, "I had only been trying to figure out how to help. And well-I made a mess of things by pushing you the way I had."
He looked vulnerable; defenses down. He was letting me in again. He was getting better at opening up, and I was getting worse about it. "Danse," I whispered. I was touched by his words. I had no idea he had felt that strongly. Or I had been too blinded by my own pain to see that he had only been trying to help. "I'm sorry. I'm sorry for all the lying, I didn't want to hurt you, or keep anything from you. "
He glanced up at me, then let out a sigh. I watched him stand up and extend his hand out to me. "then let's agree to move on and from now on lets keep things open between us." He said. "Like how a real partnership should be."
I smiled and stood up to shake his hand, "agreed, but I think your turning this partnership into a business transaction."
"Oh. "He blinked, pink staining his ears. "I didn't realize I-"
I let out a laugh, the first real one in a while. "It suits you though." I smiled, "you wouldn't be you without those quirks of yours."
His face scrunched up as he dropped my hand. "I don't know whether that's a compliment or not."
"Whichever you prefer big guy-"
The rest of what I had been about to say had been drowned out by the sound of gunfire.
Startled, both Danse and I glanced around, and found nothing, other than a few lights whirling on in the settlement. For a moment I thought, maybe a nearby settlement had fire a warning shot. I had been about to voice that to Danse when I noticed his focus was zoned in on something off towards Concords direction. His shoulder taunt and his neck straight, as if he were waiting to spring into action at any second.
I waited and watched, though nothing happened. No other sounds accompanied the shot; no shouting just stillness.
And that was the unsettling part.
I glanced up at Danse as his gaze met mine. Something wasn't right and he knew it too.
At that moment Dogmeat let out a low growl and took off towards the main gate, Danse and I followed suite. I wasn't surprised that not only Preston was there, but MacCready and Nick. "Whats going on?" I said as Danse and I joined them.
Preston nodded towards me, while I caught MacCready giving a shifty look towards Danse. Had the two met already? Danse was in civilians clothes, so he didn't look Brotherhood. So why the mistrust? Unless Hancock got to him first…oh well now wasn't the time to make nice.
"Raider." Preston said, his mouth forming a thing line. "Mac here spotted them ten clicks away."
Danse turned towards the direction, obviously understanding what 'ten clicks' meant. Too bad no one enlightened me. "Are we certain they are coming here?"
"They haven't shifted their path so far." Mac answered quickly; abrasively. "I doubt they're heading to a base. So what other reason would they have for coming this far North? Turning themselves in?"
"Mac." I said casting him a glare. Last thing we needed was another argument-between anyone.
"We were just about to come get you." Nick said turning to me, "that is if you up to taking out some raiders?"
He held my gaze, I knew that look of his. He was studying my face for a weak point in my mask. Putting on a smirk I said, "I'm always willing. We gonna go out and meet them halfway or…" I said trailing off and glancing towards MacCreedy, "are we gonna finally find out whose a better shot between us?"
MacCreedy let out a deep laugh, his chest puffing up, "if you really wanna deflate your ego boss, " he said with a wide grin. "Who am I to say no!"
I rolled my shoulders to reduced the stiffness in my body. "Good MacCreedy and I will take them down here while Danse and Preston take a group to meet them, and take down the ones we miss."
"Don't you mean the ones you miss?" Mac laughed.
"Hah-hah so clever!" I said with a playful sneer and pulled his hat down. "Practiced that one all night?"
His only reply to that was a scoff as he pulled his hat down. With a shake of my head I added, "Now get your Kester in geer Mac, some of us gotta sleep tonight."
MacCready pushed his hat down and walked away, silently grumbling to himself.
Nick scoffed, "that kids got the ego the size of a super mutant." He said with a shake of his head. "Mind if I stick with you kid. I can be your spotter, while the Paladin can do what he does best."
"And whats that? Being a tin can?" Hancock called out as he approached. Just what I didntt need, two hot heats teaming up against the already tense grizzly bear. "Whats the plan dool." He said with a grin.
Danse gave Hancock his trademark scowl, which had been effective on anyone he used it on-including me. But Hancock remaind unphased and continued to smirk at Danse.
I shot Hancock a look, "Raiders closing in." I said gaining his attention. "I need you to be Mac's spotter." Keep him and the other dunderhead far far away from Danse. "While Preston, Danse take a small group down to meet the Raider before they get close." I wasn't sure Danse would like me giving him orders, but we weren't on a Brotherhood mission, and he was in my settlement.
Danse gave me a look, his shoulders drawn back, "Are you sure about this Knight maybe you should-"
"Don't you mean 'General'?" Hancock scoffed, fixing a smug look onto Danse. "Afterall, you are in Minutemen territory. Wouldn't want to disrespect her in front of her own men."
Danse's head snapped up and opened his mouth but Preston-bless his soul-jumped in. "Good plan General. I'll go round up some men. Paladin, I'll meet you back here."
I didn't fail to notice the tone in which Preston used to say 'General'; and it hadn't gone unnoticed by Danse, whose eyebrows knitted with the tone. I could feel the budding hostility of the three men around me. I quickly jumped in before it could escalate further. "Alright everyone, gear up. I want everyone in position in ten minutes!" I said glaring at the lot. I didn't need this right now, not after my conversation with Danse. "Hancock make sure Mac doesn't overestimate his kills."
Hancock gave me a mocked salute. "Sure thing General Sunshine!" He grinned and turned. "And who knows, maybe I'll distract him while I'm at it."
I rolled my eyes but smiled despite myself. "I want a clean match Hancock!" I called out, then turned back to the others and said, "alright Nick I'll meet you up at the crows nest. Preston radio me when your in position."
I could feel Danse's eyes piecing me like icicles. I let out a sigh as Preston left to gather the men, and Nick went to the look out tower.
"Should you be doing this." He asked shifting his weight. "You need your rest."
At least he's asking and not ordering me… "Well as the saying goes 'no rest for the wicked'" I said as squinted past him towards the gate. "If we don't take the Raiders down now, they'll be knocking on our doorstep, and I'll never hear the end of it from Marcy…"
Danse flashed me a look that could only mean disapproval. "I understand that, but you don't need to fight." He said. "Let myself and the others handle the situation, while you rest."
I turned my back towards him. Didn't anything I say before sink in? I didn't need to be cuddled. "I'll be fine Danse, and anyway its not like I'll be face to face with any Raiders. I'll be here shooting from a distance, if that matters…"
"Emery, I'm worried about you." He said in a tone that gave me pause, "You need to rest."
I turned back towards him, his eyebrows knitted with emotion. He was looking directly at me and I could clearly see exactly what he was feeling. The way he was watching me made me feel guilty, yet at the same time I wanted to wrap my arms around him again.
Instead of grabbing hold of him again, I walked up to him slowly. I knew he had a lot more personal bubble popping today that he was used to, but what was one more. I reached out and grabbed his hand.
He was surprised by the action, yet he didn't tense with the touch. "I will" I said in a hushed tone. "But right now we have Raiders to deal with."
He gripped my hand back, which surprised me. In equally hushed tone he said, "Why are you so stubborn."
I couldn't help but snicker, "Because I learned from the best."
"I'm not-"
"Stubborn," I finished, "And yes you are Paladin Hard-headed. We both are."
He made an attempt at a annoyed expression, but concern was still etched in the lines of his face, "another nickname."
I shrugged, "would you rather it be Paladin tin can?" I said as I released my hold on his hand and stepped back. "Now go and get your armor, I know you cant fight without it."
He gave me a scowl, "that is not true!" He defended. "I am fully capable of fighting outside of it. It only optimizing my chances of deflect-"
"Than fight without it." I cut in teasingly.
He opened his mouth, "I'm kidding Danse." I cut in, "Now go get your gear Paladin."
He blew air out of his nose, his brow creased, "Affirmative." He said gruffly. "But once this is settle, I want you to rest."
"And if I need rest, then so do you." I said equally gruff. If he was pulling rank, I could do. And in Minutemen territory, I out rank him! Oh! I should use that on him next time he pulls his rank. "And lets not argue, I'll agree if you do."
He glared but agreed. Before he took off he glanced towards the crow's nest then jogged off.
I ran a hand through my hair and headed off towards the Crows nest. Nick was there waiting at the end of the latter for me. "It'll be a miracle if those two kill the raiders and not each other." He chucked flicking his cigarette off. "Ready?"
I nodded and climbed up the ladder. Once up there I scanned the landscape. The night blanketed the Commonwealth with blue hues and fuzzy mist. Without streetlights to light the way, it made the night that much darker.
My heart pounded in my chest. Maybe this little Raider group was exactly what the doctor ordered. Something I could take my pent up frustration on.
It didn't take long for the others to get into position. Soon Danse and Preston, along with three other Minutemen that I knew by face alone left through the front gates, the fog wrapping around them like a thick blanket.
Ahead I could see the group of Raiders-fifteen in total. Armed eith an array of modded Pipe Pistols and scaveneged Assault Rifles. Nothing too out of the ordinary for a group of Raiders.
What made this group stand out thought was not their weapons, but that one Raider had a pair of Power Armor on.
Chapter Nine
End
Alright so a little background about this chapter. First off, I had always thought that you wouldnt come out of the memory pod completely unfazed. And even though you saw Kellogg's memories in third person, i believe you really should have experienced them through him; through his eyes, while feeling his emotions. I thought that was a neat idea to through in. And who wouldnt be scared after that.
So as long as I continue with the momentum i have, you can expect a new chapter each month. I'm also going to generally post the chapters towards the end of the month/beginning of the new month since i know for me personally the end of the month is always the worst. That and it gives me a whole month to write the new chapter...and speaking of which... chapter 12 is a callin'. Since this chapter had been a whooping 20 pages and over 10,000 words I decided to split the next chapter into two. Chapter 11 had been 25 pages and almost 15,000 words. So I thought i would slip it up. Save the really really long chapters for later. ;)
Again thanks to the ever amazing Death-Titan for the amazing beta and editing help! You are a life saver! :)