Chapter Ten

Fools Come A'knockin'

The raiders were some distance away. Two or three armed with common raider armor and weapons, running like fools in the small clearing before the stream. There was a far-off banging noise that could only mean they were blindly shooting at the settlement's walls.

I glanced towards the bridge just as Danse's group walked out of the gates. Chewing on my lip I briefly wondered whether or not I should warn them about the Raider in power armor but decided against it. I didn't want to reveal my position, nor Danse's team's position.

With the heavy fog it gave both Macready and I the perfect cover, as well as the others on the ground. I would just have to keep my sights set on the jackass in Power Armor.

His group moved swiftly and deftly with Danse at Center point. Most likely to keep the focus on him and not the others. Hopefully Danse would work with them, instead of over them. I knew that wouldn't sit well with Preston.

I could feel Nick's gaze on me as I adjusted my scope's sights. He had been quiet the entire time and I knew he was waiting for me. "I'm guessing there's a reason you wanted to be my buddy?"

I heard him light up a cigarette, "I'm just concerned about yah kid." He said before inhaling. "You saw some pretty heavy stuff back at the Memory den, thought you might wanna chat?"

"I'm fine." I said almost automatically. I could feel Nick's eyes piercing my back, but I brushed it off as I watched the Raider's group closing in on Danse's group. They were on a collision course, with the Raider group having no clue what awaited them in the fog.

"Bullshit." He said bluntly, his tone coming across harder with his grizzled accent. "I saw what you saw back there, so ya can't pull the wool over my eyes-not like you do with the others."

My grip tightened on the stock of my rifle. Nick knew me better than anyone I know today. I knew I couldn't keep pretending, at least not with him. He probably knew me better than I did myself. But then again, he should know I don't want to talk about it.

"Kid," He said gruffly," don't block me out. I've got the patience of a saint."

I let out a breath and glanced over at him. His arms were folded over his chest; looking down at me as if I were a child who had been caught sneaking cookies out of the cookie jar. "Nick I- "

My ears picked up on gun fire, rounds of fire broke the stillness of the night. I recognized Macready's rifle fire striking two raiders. Damn, he got a head start-literally. Raiders zigzagged in my line of vision. Adjusting my scope quickly, sucked in a breath and aimed. I hit one in the shoulder, staggering him enough so Preston's Laser fire finished him off.

Nicks grizzled voice reminded me I wasn't alone. "I know you can talk and aim kid; you've done it before." He said. "I'm worried about you. We all are. You haven't been yourself."

"You sound like Danse." Muttering I lined up another shot, this time I had my sights set on the lug in Power Armor. Danse had successfully drawn one of the Raider's attention, keeping him preoccupied.

Nick snorted, "At least there's a heart beating under all that metal." My shot bounded off the armor…

...and then another. "I finally told Danse the truth about everything," I said, trying to change the topic. "So, he's caught up to speed…"

"And?"

Following the Raider's movements with my scope I saw him fire a few rounds towards Danse, whose armor deflected it. "He took the me being Pre-war better than I thought he would. The me being General not so much."

"What happened? You two did seem a little tense."

I didn't answer him right away. Only after two more unsuccessful shots did I admit, "It wasn't really me being the General that angered him," I mulled while reloading. "It was the fact that I deliberately hid it from him."

Nick gave a mechanical scoff, "I can imagine."

I shook my head remembering Danse's scrunched up face. "I think he's still frustrated but he's not shouting anymore."

The tobacco from Nick's cigarette reach my nose when he exhaled. "Truth had to come out eventually kid." He said. "It's good that you let the cat out of the bag now before someone like Hancock did. Now that wouldn't end well."

I mumbled, "Letting the cat out of the bag is a whole lot easier than putting it back in." I turned my sights back on the battle. The raiders' numbers had dwindled down to a handful, including the one in Power Armor I noted with a bit of annoyance. The raider in armor quickly ducked behind a car avoiding Danse's shots and mine. "I hadn't seen him mad like that, let alone mad to the point of shouting." I paused, "then again Danse has frustratingly good control over his emotions. In a lot of ways, he reminds me a lot of Na-"A sudden ripped through me as the words died in my throat.

Nick was just as silent. I couldn't see his face but I knew he was watching me. I bit my lip at the silence, unnerved by it.

I redirected my attention back to the fight just in time to see Danse shower the armored raider with a flurry of laser bullets. Aiming one perfectly at the rusted old car he caused it to spark and burst into flames. The raider jumped out of the way, barely dodging the mass of exploding metal. "Anything you want to talk about?" He said, his voice level with concern. "Or vent about? Pretty sure the Raiders are too distracted down there to notice us."

I watched Nick, studying the way his eyes seemed to be piercing through me. I knew Nick wouldn't judge me, he had always had my back. "I try not to think about it because then all I can see is Nate's face before-", my breath caught in my throat, "before he died… And then it-it takes a moment to realize it's not me looking down at him from the barrel of the gun, but Kellogg." The cold chill turned into a hail storm that left my legs numb beneath me. "I can't sort through what memories belong to him or what ones are mine. It's got my whole head muddled."

One of the raiders had taken a grenade, pulled the pin and did a suicide rush towards the group. I lined up the shot, but Mac was faster. "It's a lot to have gone through a second time." Nick's face was set with ridged lines as if he was recalling the memory too.

There was a brief silence around us, only broken by the shouts and gunfire of the battle below. I felt Nick settle into a spot next to me, I held his gaze for a moment, there was an certain knowing in them.

I tried to blink away the stinging in my eyes but felt a gentle pressure on my shoulder.. I blinked then steeled my expression but as I did I felt a gentle pressure on my shoulder. "It'll take time, kid, to sort through it all. Trust me on that one." I could hear the concern in his mechanical tone. "And I'm right here for yah kid, whatever you need."

My shoulders sagged as I let out a deep-rooted sigh, the exhaustion pouring through me like a dam. "Nick, I don't know if I'm cut out for this-any of this." I muttered burying my sights back into my scope. "Danse says I am but, I don't know. Everything is wrong, this world is wrong! And I'm just wandering in it."

The Raider in Power Armor was the only one left of his comrades. Danse's group had him pinned down behind a rock formation. I could tell the Raider's cover had successfully blocked Mac's sights, but I had a clear one. "Does the feeling of being lost ever go away? Or the confusion?" I said, swiftly adjusting my sights, zooming in until I got it right. "Nothing is the same, familiar buildings still stand, but they're just ghosts of their former selves/but it's like staring at the skeleton of someone I used to call my friend.

Nick sighed, "No, it'll stick with you for a while." He said, "But it will get better-as cliché as that sounds, it will. 'Time heals all wounds.' Or so the saying goes."

I took a deep breath and tried to clear my mind as much I could. Slowly, methodically I pressed the trigger. It met its target through the raider's ear.

The clearing grew deathly still, only broken by Mac's outburst, "How in the hell-heck did she do that?!"

I heard Nick chuckle, and shook his head, the gears in his neck creaked with the movement. "Hot headed merc."

Danse's group did one final sweep of the areas but from my vantage point it was all clear. After switching the safeties on, I let it rest against the frame of the lookout tower while leaning my back against it.

Nick was right, he was always right. I needed to stop dwelling on those negative emotions and push past it. I needed to move on, but I needed to cope and not ignore it. I turned back to Nick, "thank you, Nick." I smiled, "somehow you always know the words to say."

His face went completely blank with surprise, then resolved itself into an expression of warmth. "That's what I'm here for kid," He grinned, "I'm the bot with the age old wisdom and full of loose bolts."

He grinned down at me but his eyes held an uncertain expression that rather touched me, despite everything, I smiled. I was still feeling drained, but somehow there was a lightness to my chest that hadn't been there before.

I stood up and stretched rackingly. Slinging my rifle over my shoulder, I said, "doesn't look like I beat Mac. I'll never hear the end of it now."

"Oh, I wouldn't be too worried about it," he said snuffing his cigarette, "you did get the one shot he couldn't."

Nick and I had just descended of the watch tower when Hancock and Macready walked over. Hancock flashed me a toothy grin, crinkling the skin around his eyes. "Nice shot their sister." He said. "Got ol' Mac here really fired up."

Macready, with his hands stuffed into his pockets pouted, "Yeah, well I still had the most kills."

Hancock laughed and wrapped an arm around Mac's shoulders, slightly knocking him off balance. "Awe, your'e just jealous 'cause you couldn't hit the bastard."

Red in the face, Macready shoved Hancock's arm off and fixed the collar of his jacket. "Knock it off, Hancock." He growled.

Nick chuckled walking over to the two. "Alright, calm down, boys."

I glanced through the gate. In the distance I could see Danse's group slowly making their way back. I turned back towards Hancock who was still teasing Macready; his face beat red with the jest. "Welp, boys, I think I'll call it a night." I said faking a yawn. I caught Nick giving me a suspicious look but he didn't utter a word.

After saying our goodnights, I quickly made my way back to my little house before Danse got back. I had more than enough conversations for one night.

Thoughts busied my mind as I dressed for bed. Dogmeat settled into his corner of the mattress as I pulled open the covers. I had my reservations about sleep, but I still had hope that just maybe I could go one night without a nightmare.

The idea of a good night's rest had completely vanished from my mind.

I woke in a cold panic flying up and flinging the blankets away. Despite the mugginess of the air around me I was chilled; goosebumps littering my flesh like ant hills in a desert.

Bringing a hand over my eyes I flipped back down on the mattress, the springs groaning with the action. Most nights my dreams would be the same. It would start out as a wonderful Saturday morning. Shaun had slept through the night, Nate had shore leave and I had the day off from work. We would be just sitting down for breakfast when-

-BAM-

I would be running up hill, barely holding onto Nate's hand. Helicopters roaring overhead, men in thick armored boots marched around us, their thuds echoing in my ears. Screams and cries of people around us.

The next, I was paralyzed, trapped behind thick icy glass, begging. Pleading. When suddenly, it would all stop. My vision blurred, and I'd find myself holding a pistol before me I was speaking – threatening; my own voice echoing in my ears. I stared down at Nate, his beautiful dark eyes glazed over with defiance. But I knew those eyes well. I could see the fear behind them.

But I didn't care.

I shot him.

And then I woke up. My entire body rattled, shaking like a child after a watching their first horror movie.

Every time, I would wake; my mind confused and feeling displaced. Where am I? Why aren't I in the vault? Or…shouldn't I be completing my mission? I had to return to the institute and bring the baby I retrieved, then I would remember. I was not Kellogg.

That nightmare was always the same, each night and it haunted me, mocked me again and again and again and again.

But my body was exhausted so, despite my reservations, I quickly fell asleep. I was thankfully able to catch a few more hours of sleep before the next nightmare.

Or, that was what I wanted to call it; a nightmare because it was a wonderful, happy dream. It haunted we with the peace and love I once had. I wanted to say this dream had been a nightmare simply because it was a wonderful dream. It haunted me with the kindness it showed.

It had been when I was younger, much younger. It had been of the time my father and brothers took me camping in Bar Harbor. Memories of some of my favorite moments displayed like a movie. Just pleasant memories that brought such simple joy to my life. A joy I hadn't felt since that broadcast about the bombs.

I awoke drenched in tears. Heart hammering in my chest. A chill that gripped me making my breath come up short.

The dream had left a swirling fog of anxiety in my gut that numbed my fingers and toes. It also left me with a dangerous question I had been too afraid to ask myself. What happened to my Father and Brothers? Had they made it to their Vault? Did they live on?

I didn't know which dream was worse.

I rose from my mattress sluggishly. The dreams chill seeped out of me, slowly as the stifling heat rose to replace it. Even in May the Wasteland felt like a Nuclear oven. My hair clung to my damp cheeks, my clothes sticky with sweat. What I wouldn't give for a shower…

That was one of the perks about the Brotherhood, working showers. One of these days Sturges and I would need to build working showers. We already had a good flow of water.

With a groan I stood up and was surprised when I didn't see Dogmeat anywhere. It was rather late in the morning, early afternoon, from what I could tell anyway. He must have gone searching for breakfast elsewhere.

Moving around took great effort I realized. My body felt weak, whether from the nightmare or from lack of sleep I didn't know. The fatigue was deeply rooted, stretching all the way throughout my body.

I think one full pot of coffee might do the trick.

I felt slightly more alive after washing up and getting into fresh clothes. The ewer I had scavenged wasn't quite as good as a shower, but it'd have to do.

I had just put the kettle on my little stove when a knock came from my door. I could hear Dogmeat barking from behind it. I called out to give the okay to come in.

Preston greeted me as Dogmeat dashed in from underneath his feet and jumped up to give me a big slobbery kiss on the cheek. Welp, looks like I'll need to wash up again.

Rubbing Dogmeats ear I glanced up at Preston who removed his hat. "Good morning General."

Smiling I wiped my face with my sleeve, "you don't have to always call me that Preston." I said wiping my sleeve on my pants. "I take it Dogmeat came to you for his breakfast."

"Nah, mama Murphy gave him some Brahmin meat. He was just curled up on your porch sleeping.

"I'll have to thank her later." I said as I killed the heat on the stove then mixed in the grounds. "Want some coffee, I uh kind of made a lot."

I heard him scratch at the back of his head, "I'd uh love some."

The smell of coffee drifted in the small makeshift kitchen of mine. It had been difficult brewing coffee without a coffee maker-and the taste it was so much stronger than I was used to. It almost killed my taste buds the first time I had coffee after I had woken up.

"So," I said as I handed him a cup, "what brings you by?"

He gave me a word of thanks and took the cup. "Just wanted to check in. Give you a rundown of Minutemen activity."

I sat down and raised an eyebrow. "You did that yesterday I thought?" I sipped some of my coffee and cringed. Too strong again. "Unless you had more you wanted to tell me?"

Preston straightened his back, "oh!" He grinned sheepishly at me. "I must have forgotten. Guess it was all the excitement from last night."

"That's alright." I said stirring my cup. "There was something I wanted to talk to you about anyway."

He gave me a nod and sipped his coffee; obviously not bothered with the strength of it. "What about Em?"

Setting my cup down-well if was more of a tin can really. I glanced out the window, "how have the settlers been around Danse? Any complaints yet?" I knew Danse wouldn't start anything-unless provoked by a ghoul or a synth. But that didn't mean that his presence wouldn't affect the settlers. "And while we're on the topic, I'm sorry I brought him here without warning you. I trust Danse, and he is a good man. He's just too blinded by what he believes is the 'greater good'."

Preston blinked, taken a back by the question. "Well to be honest at first I had my concerns. Hancock and Valentine had filled me in on you joining the Brotherhood." He said glancing down at his own cup. "Are you sure about that? The Brotherhood-they have been known to be rough with civilians. They don't care about anyone who isn't Brotherhood."

I took another drink from my cup. It was warm and strong with pieces of grounds floating on the surface. By now I was getting used to the questions 'why'd you join the bigots'. "I don't agree with a lot of what they preach, Danse can confirm that. We've had many arguments on the matter." I placed the cup down. "But I don't want to abandon Danse-and he would never leave the Brotherhood. He's a good man, past all that jargon the Brotherhood forced fed him. But if it ever came down to it-if they ever forced my hand, I'll leave."

Preston's shoulders sagged from what looked like relief, "I understand General. I was a bit, concerned."

I gave him a smile, "But the Brotherhood isn't as bad as everyone seems to make them out to be. "I said as I drank some more coffee. "There not all bigoted monsters."

Preston gave a nod. "I get it," He then stood up drained his coffee and said, "Em, I was wondering if you wanna do a perimeter check with me? You'll get to see all the new renovations we've done since you've left."

"Alright."

The sun was high in the sky by the time we had done two full circles around Sanctuary. It was strange, though pleasant, that not once did anyone come and interrupt us. On any normal day many settlers, Minutemen or even friends would come up to me with questions or concerns. But not today. I would have at least thought Marcy would have come up to bitch about having a Brotherhood operative here. But no. In fact, I barely saw anyone around.

The renovations on the settlement had gone over smoothly since last I was here. And by the looks of it: another corn field. I was even more surprised when Preston had filled me in on the newest Supply lines that reached all the way to Hangman Alley.

Once back at my shack I turned to Preston who was pushing dirt with his boot. "It's been pretty quiet today, huh?"

"Oh yeah, well a lot of settlers have been working on the wall, so I gave them the day off."

Since when did Preston give the settlers the day off? "Okay." I said with a raised eyebrow. "Well, I better go find Danse: we should plan before we head down to the Glowing Sea- "

"Orrr we could take a look at these new comics I found, Boss!"

Preston and I turned to see a grinning Macready with a stack full of comic books. "I've been wantin' to show you these for a while, Boss." He said, "I've got Silver Shroud Number Ten: The Phantom Instigator. Grognack Issue Thirteen-"

"Alright, alright," I said placing my hands up. "Come on, let's head inside. Wanna join us Preston?"

Preston chuckled, "nah, that's alright. I need to go check up on a few things anyway," he said with a tip of his hat, "but I'll leave you in good hands. Catch ya later!"

"Oh, oh this is my favorite part! Where the Shroud figures out how to hack the Phantom's stealth systems!" My weakness has always been a good comic after all.

Macready laughed and adjusted his sitting position. "That's what you said when the shroud encountered the Phantoms alter-ego."

I blew air out of my nose, "Yeah, well it's my favorite issue, so I can like all the parts." I stated as a matter-of-fact. "I haven't read this issue since before Shaun was born."

A small smiled appeared on Macready's face; recalling a memory. "I haven't been able to find another copy until now." He spoke softly, the smile on his face blurred the lines of his gaunt features; giving him a more youthful appearance. "I almost had all the issues back in the Capital Wasteland, but I had to sell them for-" He broke off, the peaceful look disappearing.

I knew what he was thinking of-or rather who he was thinking of; Duncan his son. "Have you've heard anything since you sent the cure down?"

"No," he said shortly, then sighed. "I mean no, not yet. It's been almost a month. What if the courier had been killed by Gunners or Raiders, or-or-"

My heart went out to him, I knew the feeling all too well. "Don't worry, Mac." I said flicking the tip of his hat up. He gave me a dirty look and fixed it. "I'm sure they're waiting for Duncan to make a full recovery before they send word."

"But what if-"

"And if they don't send word, then we'll go down there ourselves and make them tell us!"

"But we gotta get Shaun back first," he said sitting up. "We'll get him and Duncan back. Then the two of them will have someone to watch each other's backs."

At the mentioning of Shaun my heart clenched. Despite the feeling, I smiled, "yeah, and maybe they'll create their own little lamplight."

"Ah man, don't get my hopes up," he laughed shaking his head. "I miss that place so much!"

Leaning back, I stretched before saying, "Danse had grown up in the Capital Waste as well. Tell me about it? I've only ever seen the Commonwealth, I'm curious what the Capital Wasteland is like."

Macready snorted, "Well it ain't too much different. Less water, more mountains. Little Lamplight-like I had said before was in a cave. And man, I gotta be honest, I feel a whole lot better with a rocky ceiling over my head than anything else." He shook his head and looked up at the ceiling longingly. "We'd shoot at any mungo that dared to trespass. Well, except the Lone Wanderer."

I scratched at my chin, "Danse had mentioned someone with that title before," then leaned over, "but I thought she was with the Brotherhood?"

"With the Brotherhood? Nah, she only used those guys to take down the Enclave-or, so I heard," he said wryly. "She used to visit me and my crew, she and the creepiest Ghoul I had ever met wanted to get into the Vault at the back of Little Lamplight." He began to idly flip the pages of the comic. "She was cool, always used to take some time to bring us things. She even brought her dog once…. now that I think about it, his name was Dogmeat too."

"Hah, guess it's a very common dog name."

Mac glanced out the window and squinted. A minute passed before he turned back to me and said, "I hadn't seen or heard from her since she took down the Enclave. I heard rumors she either died or had gone west. Who knows, I just hope she didn't croak. "

Snickering I poked him in the side, "If I didn't know any better I'd say you had a crush on this 'Lone Wanderer'."

"What-I-No! She was just a cool mungo that's all!"

"Sure…. whatever you say Mac."

Macready, bright red in the face folded his arms and glared at the wall. "Your one to talk! You like that beef headed Paladin."

My eyes widened then drooped. "Drop it, Mac." I said tensely. Despite my chat with Piper, I didn't like the idea of having feelings for Danse, especially after having visited Nate's final resting place. It didn't feel right. "I don't want to talk about it."

Mac blinked, surprised by my sudden change in disposition. "Hey, look, it's okay to get feelings for someone else," he said as he leaned forward. "Nate wouldn't want you to wallow in loneliness and be a cooped up old widow forever."

"And how would- "

"Because Lucy wouldn't want me too," he cut in, "and if Nate is as good of a guy as you claim he was, then he would want you to move on."

I stared at him for a moment, fully grasping his words. I hadn't truly believed what Piper had said before, but hearing those words from Mac too, seemed to solidify them.

Feeling an odd mix of anxiousness and kinship, I picked up one of the other issues Mac brought. "Come on, were wasting daylight."

He gave me a hesitant look before he snatched the comic book from my hand. "Oh no, I'll read. You can't do Grognack's voice right."

Macready and I had just finished reading Grognack when Sturges dropped by.

"Hey there, little lady, I wanted to go over some of these schematics I salvaged. Thought you might wanna take a looksee?" He said as he walked in, arms filled with rolled-up blue prints.

Mac took that as his cue to jump up, "well," he said grabbing the comics, "I gotta…uh….go. Hancock needed me for…." he said, looking anxious, "something. See ya, Boss!"

Why did it seem like people were trading me off; one person came to see while the other had to leave in a hurry? I don't normally consider my friends suspicious people but I'd be damned if it wasn't just that.

"So," I paused, "I guess he finished his shift." I looked out the way Mac had just left.

"Whatdya mean by that?" he paid me no mind as he placed rocks on the edges of the curling paper. "Sturges, what's going on?" I asked walking over to him as he straightened out a diagram.

Glancing down at the paper I said, "Well, it just seems like everyone is trying to distract me, somehow…" I trailed off when I realized what type of blueprint it was. "Wait, is this for an actual working shower?"

"Mhmm, sure is." He nodded. "Wanted to go over a few minor details, seeing as how you actually used one before."

I could hardly contain my excitement when we went over the pipework.

It was late by the time Sturges and I finished editing the schematics on a real working shower. We had to stop when we reached the hot water heater blueprints. That would be the complicated part; figuring out how to build it without the proper materials. We could-and would-have to scavenge the parts from dilapidated worn/crumbling/fallen-in/pre-era water heaters"

Letting out a sigh, I leaned back and rubbed at my weary eyes. "Next time I'm out I'll take a look for the parts. Thankfully we already have a lot here," I stood up, stretching, "so, it'll mostly be a matter for fixing up what we have."

Sturges gave his own stretch before he rolled up the diagram. "I'll start working on those ones We got plenty o' water, just no storage unit."

I grinned and stood up, "How 'bout some dinner?" I said walking over to my stove, "I'm no Codsworth, but I'm sure I can fry up some Mirelurk eggs."

Sturges pulled on his suspenders and eyed out the window, a hesitant expression on his face. "Oh, I would Little Lady but I ah," He squinted then hastily turned back to me with a grin. "I gotta meet up with the o'l Colonel and give him an update on the uh, the uh- "

He was interrupted by a rhythmic-almost musical-knock on my door. "Blue, I'm coming in so you better be decent!"

Piper? Honestly, I'm surprised she hadn't shown up sooner. "Come on in, Piper!"

Sturges headed to the door and opened it, "Evenin' Ma'am," he greeted then turned back to me, "I better be heading out! I'll let you know when I start on the piping."

After the door closed behind him I gave a suspicious look towards Piper, who in returned flashed me the most innocent smile that left me feeling even more suspicious. "Okay Piper, spill." I said placing my hands on my hips. "What's going on?"

"I just thought you might like a haircut?" She said while lifting a small beat up old black bag, "That and I got loads of Diamond City gossip to tell you!"

I narrowed my eyes and shifted my weight to the other leg. What the hell was she up to? "Not that," I said dubiously, "Why does everyone seem hell bent on distracting me. And for that matter, why haven't I seen-or heard Hancock, Danse, or Nick all day. I don't know whether to be grateful for the peace or worried they killed each other."

Piper let out a groan and rolled her eyes, "God, Blue, you're so suspicious. We just missed you is all. You've been gone for a while."

"And that's all well and good, but one after another? As if your taking shifts?"

She gave me a dirty look, "Blue, do you want a haircut or not?"

I gave her a groan, fine be that way. "Sure, just please tell me they haven't killed one another?"

"I won't say that Hancock and Paladin Tin Can have been getting along," she trailed off digging through her bag and placing various hair trimming tools down on the table, "Nick has been doing a good job keeping them busy and away from one another."

I eyed her shiftily before sitting down. She untied my hair from its high pony tail and began to comb through it. "Have you been brushing this nest you call hair?" She grumbled when she hit the third knot in just as many seconds.

I rolled my eyes but smiled, "I'll be sure to comb my hair at least one hundred times a day from now on, how about that, Piper?"

"Don't get cheeky."

We fell into a compatible silence after that. The sound of scissors cutting through the silence every so often. "So, you had mentioned you have some gossip to tell me?"

"Oh yea, so it started off…."

"And, and the best part about the whole thing is that Doc Crock had written an entire three-page love poem dedicated to Ellie and had read it aloud outside the agency."

"He didn't!"

"But he did!"

"Oh god, poor Ellie…What did it say?"

"Oh!" Piper exclaimed rolling onto her back into a fit of giggles. "Something about the anatomical structuring of her face so that it was as if it was arranged as a scientific marvel. He used too many doctor-y words that I couldn't follow. But, Blue, you should have seen her face. I thought for sure she would burst before the city guard escorted him back to his house."

"Man, I miss everything!" I shook my head.

"That's why you've got me around! To deliver juicy gossip and give awesome haircuts! Like it?" She asked as she showed me my reflection in a small tarnished mirror.

I played with the ends of my hair. She had cut it just below my shoulders instead of where it used to hang on the middle of my back, "It feels so much lighter, thank you!"

She gave me a wink and brushed herself off, "I know you like to tie it back." She paused and glanced at me, eyes lit up like a lightbulb and she smiled slyly, "Speaking of juicy gossip. How are things going with Soldier boy?"

I flashed her a warning look but then sighed, Mac's words coming to mind. Still, I didn't want to talk about it.

She held up her hands defensively, "What? All I asked was how things are," she said innocently enough. "The last time I saw you he was pissed at you for 'associating with the enemy'. Now he just seems to ignore Nick entirely-give or take a few scowls."

The memory of our Super Mutant encounter came to mind and I physically felt myself cringe. That whole day had been one big mess after another. From the standoff with Nick, the argument I had with Danse and then the Mutant run in to top it all off. I told Piper as much, omitting the true reason why Danse rushed the group. Danse hadn't wanted to share the details with me, I doubted he wanted Piper to know.

Danse could call what happened whatever he liked; lapse in judgment, blinded by anger, whatever. But to me, I knew he had a PTSD flashback. He had been lost to a memory of his past and couldn't recognize his surroundings. I'd seen it before with Nate. I knew what it looked like. And it looked exactly that.

Piper pinched at the bridge of her nose, "damn, Blue." She muttered shaking her head. "Glad the Paladin was there, else you could have been squashed like a tato. But why did he charge? He doesn't seem like a reckless person."

I couldn't tell her the truth, even if I wanted too. I didn't know the full truth myself, "Maybe I'm rubbing off on him."

She eyed me, "Doubt that."

I shrugged and glanced down at the floor boards. I noticed that one looked as though it was coming loose. I made a mental note to fix it later. " I know he hates Super Mutants, from past experiences. Maybe that's it." I felt my nose crinkle. Stupid, Danse. Ever since he had pointed that out, I could feel my nose twitch when I lied.

Piper shook her head, "I hate Super Mutants as much as the next guy, but that doesn't mean I'm gonna rush them head first," she rubbed at her chin, "there's more to it than that."

Playing with the fabric of my pant leg I said, "Who knows. He kept dodging me every time I asked about it."

She squinted her eyes then shrugged, "oh well," She sighed, "but that doesn't answer my question-at least not to satisfy my curiosity. How are things between you two?"

I narrowed my eyes, but then relaxed them. If there was anyone who wouldn't drop the matter until she got what she wanted, it was Piper. "We've been arguing a lot lately. We talked-about everything…he seemed less mad." I muttered as I played with a loose string on my shirt. "We also hugged-which is a huge step for him I think."

Piper practically jumped me after I said that, "Oooh you made a move! He didn't push you away did he? Or did he return it and whisper sweet nothings-"

"Piper!" I shouted, my face burning. "It was just a hug and I'm surprised he didn't scold me for being insubordinate. That and he tends to get tense when I reach out to him. He's able to be touched without flinching."

, but I don't know if he hates it when I do that. Its uh, kind of a habit of mine."

"So what you're a hugger! And if he didn't like it then tough! It's who you are!" She said as a matter-of-fact. "Does the Brotherhood have rules about that? You know, fraternizing with your superior?"

I hadn't thought of that. I know rules had been in place for Pre-war military but I wasn't sure if the Brotherhood did. From what Danse had told me about the Brotherhood from back in the day, they didn't allow anyone to join-you had to be born into it. So, getting together with another officer had been a must. But what about now? And what did fraternization mean? A hug, a drunken kiss? "I don't know, and nor should I be thinking about it." I said with a wave of my hand. "I don't think he feels that way about me. Ignoring the fact that those kinds of emotions don't come easily to him, I haven't exactly kept his trust lately. I've lied to him; hid things from him when he asked for honesty; how can I think he might return my feelings when he might not even trust me?"

"At least you're finally admitting you like him out loud."

"Piper…"

She shook her head, "He forgave you, didn't he?"

"Would you honestly forgive someone that quickly after lying to you for so long?"

"If that person had a good reason, then yeah," Piper said honestly as she placed an arm around me. "Blue, you're being too hard on yourself. You had good reasons not to tell him and I'm sure he understands that. If he's as great of a guy as you describe, then I'm sure he's forgiven you."

"How do you know?"

She glanced out the window before she answered. "Well you two seem very close. And it's obvious that he cares about you-you can't be that blind to see it."

"We're teammates," I paused, "…Friends?" at least I hoped we still were.

She rolled her eyes but ignored what I said, "I mean he wouldn't have reacted the way he did if he was holding that over you." She said, straightening my hair. "He told us that you had to go back down to the Vault-he had this look on his face as he was telling us,. If remorse and guilt had a baby, that's what it would look like." She grinned, "If he was really angry; would he really feel guilty?"

I could feel the anxiety I felt over the matter start to slip away as water would in the palm of my hand. Yet, as I reflected I felt my own sense of guilt surge. This whole time he had been trying to help, yet I pushed him away and hide things from him and he was the one that felt guilty. He really did soak up guilt like a sponge.

"I can tell by your look you know I'm right," Piper smiled.

"Don't brag about it."

She let out a laugh and stretched, fixing her hat, "Come on, Blue, there's some place I wanna take you."

My sense of suspicion returned in a flash. "Where? It's not like I haven't seen every inch of Sanctuary before."

She gave me a pout, "Stop being so stubborn and just go with the flow."

"Where'd you pick up that pre-war saying up, Nick?" I rolled my eyes, "Fine, let's go." Normally with Piper leading the way, trouble would be sure to follow.

-Chapter Ten-

-End-