A/N: From the next chapter the rating will increase to M to be safe, some of the themes in this story will get a little darker.
Trigger warning: this chapter contains themes some readers may find triggering. Such scenes include descriptions of panic attacks.
I own nothing.
Blue
Katara was not a morning person, she hated having to wake before her body naturally decided it was time, on her days off that usually meant sometime around noon, rolling out of bed at a relatively early time for Katara on a weekend she slid herself into the shower to wash away any remnants of sleep.
Katara was also not a singer much to her chagrin, Her late grandmother Kanna had a sweet melodic voice that could have charmed the birds from the tree's, while her father's singing voice could have sent the bugs back into the dirt. Katara had inherited, along with her temper and allergy to bees, her fathers singing voice and because of this fact often chose to hum a tune as opposed to sing one.
So when Katara had climbed out of bed before her alarm had chimed and sang in the shower as if she had been performing at her concert, it was safe to say she was in a good mood. A great mood.
College had only started for her a month ago and despite what Katara would have described as grim, teenage years she found that she was enjoying this phase of her life more. She had a friend group; In her own opinion, Katara had hit the roommate jackpot with Yue, a sweet, loyal friend who could understand her military-style upbringing and had already been a better girlfriend to her than any of the friends she'd collected over her years of playing musical homes. There was Suki, fiercely loyal and bold in all the ways Katara wished she was, who'd defended her against her brother and would probably do it again. Toph who was rough around the edges but always brought humour to their group, Aang who played the peacemaker and then her brother Sokka.
She frowned a little at the thought of him, the siblings had yet to resolve their most recent argument and hellfire would rain from the skies before Katara cracked first. Not that she felt she was responsible in any way for Sokka running his big mouth and embarrassing her. She scoffed at the thought as if the argument in the canteen wasn't already enough to make her want to slap him but he'd then come to her room and accused her of using her relationship with Zuko to fulfil some fantasy. She dreaded to even think what kind of fantasy Sokka had eluded to.
The thought angered her more, what kind of image did Sokka have of her? One minute she was his innocent baby sister whose virtue needed protecting at all costs and the next she was some bleeding heart groupie chasing after the bad boy for what she could only guess was some kind of redemption fantasy- Make the bad boy good for her.
She smiled at the idea, if Sokka knew what Zuko was really like he wouldn't be half as quick to run his mouth. Zuko had a temper and favoured a scowl over a smile, he wasn't always particularly warm to people he didn't know and he was more likely to be found quietly observing a situation than laughing with others but that didn't make him bad, because he wasn't bad. He was good.
She felt her smile widen as she let herself get carried away in the thought. Zuko was thoughtful, remembering her favourite tea or giving her his hoodie to keep her warm. He was kind, taking Aang around the museum even though she was sure Aang mildly annoyed him, he was a secret romantic, taking her to see the nighttime view of the city just because he thought she might like it. Her heart fluttered at the memory.
Zuko was honest, he wouldn't outright lie about anything he'd be more inclined to get annoyed at the topic and change it and most of all Zuko was honourable, even as teenagers he'd never touched her unless she asked him to, he never pushed his wants on her and when she was ready to be with him physically no-one at their school ever found out. Other girls from their high-school, or even many of the other schools she'd been to, hadn't been that lucky, She hadn't been that lucky…
She felt her stomach lurch. The irony that Sokka was so against her dating Zuko but had been fully on board with her dating Jet was almost laughable to her. Bile crept into the back of her throat as she felt the familiar cold forming in her lower belly. She gripped against her sink until her knuckles turned white, her breathing becoming shallow and laboured. She wasn't sure anymore if it was fear she felt or white-hot fury, but whatever it was she didn't want to feel anything for him.
Katara, Just breathe. He isn't here. She repeated to herself over and over as she pushed the thought of him from her head.
After a few minutes of deep breathing she collected herself, he was her past and a part of her past she'd be happy to leave there. Splashing her face with the iciest water she could handle, she cleaned her teeth and left the bathroom. She had her date with Zuko that day, a part of her past she was more than happy to revisit and bring forward into her future.
An hour later and Katara was dressed and ready to go, her new Suki approved swimwear hidden nicely under her also new and Suki approved denim shorts and t-shirt, she slid a pair of clean underwear inside a towel and slipped it into her bag, she knew from years of swimming as a child that it was best to remove damp swimwear as soon as possible to avoid chapping the more sensitive areas of skin.
As Suki and Yue had suggested she do on her first date- not a date- she gave herself the once over just to make sure she was happy with the way she looked. Since Zuko was taking her to a lake she didn't need to worry about makeup, even so, a layer of waterproof mascara didn't hurt, or a super cute outfit, Suki had decided it was the swimwear that needed the attention, so once she was done examining herself at length she decided she was happy with what she saw.
As she turned to grab her phone she spied the sky blue necklace sitting on her bedside table, the only times she'd ever taken it off was to shower, her fingers slid to her bare neck as she contemplated whether or not it would be a wise decision to wear it today. She didn't want to run the risk of losing it, it meant too much to her, but not wearing it felt so wrong. She reasoned she could wear it until it was time to swim and then carefully place it in the inside pocket of her bag, the pocket zipped so it would be safe nestled in there. She slipped the familiar ribbon around her neck and clasped it shut, the cool, smooth pendant slipping right into the hollow of her neck.
She let out a small sigh as she ran the pendant between her pointer finger and thumb, her azure eyes drifting to the cloudless blue sky promising a nice sunny Sunday. It was the buzz of her phone in her hand that drew her attention back to the present. She glanced at her screen and smiled to see Zuko had texted that he was outside. Calmly, belying her wildly beating heart, she picked up her bag and left her dorm.
Zuko had woken to his usual routine, he'd gotten showered, cleaned his teeth, dressed and then found a way to kill a few hours on his laptop. He didn't feel all that much like working on his papers, not that he could have found the concentration even if he'd bought it, so he aimlessly watched Netflix until it was time for him to pick up Katara.
He didn't bother packing anything from his dorm, everything he needed was in his room back at his uncle's house anyway, he would have gone to collect it earlier but he assumed if Iroh was in he'd probably be happy to see Katara. Plus he hadn't planned on driving the Camaro down to the lake, parking was limited on the best of days and non-existent on a weekend, so instead he'd park his car in his uncle's driveway and take his bike.
Slipping into the driver's side of his car it took Zuko a total of two minutes to pull up outside the girl's dorm. He eyed the dashboard clock for a moment before debating if he was too early to text her, just like Friday, he was early by almost twenty minutes, he let out a sigh knowing he'd have to wait. No matter how much he wanted to see Katara again, he decided twenty minutes was a little too early and he might come across as too eager. The next fifteen or so minutes dragged and he could have sworn he'd seen the clock jump back a few minutes. Finally, at five minutes to twelve, he slipped out his phone and let her know he was outside.
He climbed out of his car, another uncle taught manner he couldn't seem to kick and leaned on his hood. While he waited for her he let his eyes drift over the surrounding area, he hadn't seen the girls dorm during the daytime, the building seemed comparatively smaller than that of the boy's dorm. But despite that, it looked newer, the front of the building was lined with floor to ceiling windows that were so clean he could see through to the common area. A spacious room that had a few vending machines against one wall and fair-sized television on the farthest wall, a large semi-circle sofa in front of it. He found himself questioning the design, if he could see in so clearly when the sun was beaming then he doubted it would be too hard for anyone else to see in when the campus was dark and the lights were on inside. However, he noted the two sets of large double doors that required a keycard and entrance.
It was when he heard double doors open that he turned to see Katara emerge, he fought the smile that was threatening to split his face when he realised she was in conversation with another girl he didn't know but recognised. He pondered the thought for a moment, why did that girl look so familiar to him? He didn't think she was in any of his classes and there was nothing about her that particularly stuck out to him either, and yet he knew her face. His brow furrowed as he stared at her, it annoyed him that he couldn't remember where he'd seen this girl but the thought left his head as soon as Katara turned her eyes his way.
He felt that all too familiar catching of his breath as she smiled at him offering him a wave before turning back to the girl. He watched as she exchanged a few more words with her, the girl slid her eyes his way for a moment before saying something to Katara behind her hand. He would have groaned at the girl's childish antics if it wasn't for Katara's wide-eyed blush followed by her smile. His heart fluttered, he didn't know what the girl had said but he liked Katara's reaction to it.
A couple of seconds later the girls waved each other off before Katara turned her attention his way, a sheepish smile on her face, as she made her way over to him. The closer she got the better he could see her face. In his opinion, she looked better than she had done on Friday, not that she hadn't also looked beautiful then but he could see the gentle freckles that kissed her nose and cheeks as well as the natural dusky pink of her plump lips.
As she approached he wondered if he should kiss her if she'd let him kiss her, she had said she wanted to go slow and he wasn't entirely sure if she'd be okay with a casual peck yet, she had kissed him afterwards but he had said it was okay. The thought was stolen from him and she stopped in front of him, a smile sprayed on her lips, he knew he wanted to kiss her or at least hold her.
"What's with that face? I thought you'd be happier to see me" she teased as she placed her hands behind her back, her eyes sparkled with her playful mood.
"I am. I was just thinking" He said as he met her blue eyes, he unfolded his arms from across his chest to seem more relaxed.
"Ah, I think I get it" Katara smiled as her eyes drifted to the place she'd been standing with the other girl. "She asked if you were my boyfriend," Katara added.
"Is that so? What did you tell her?" He asked more curious about the exchange than he originally thought.
"I said I was working on it but it's hard to catch an outlaw" she sighed as she flicked her eyes back to him, they sparkled more brightly in the day time. At night her eyes would shine like the stars against the inky sky but by day they looked more like the sun rays reflecting off the surface of the ocean, either way, he could get lost staring into them.
"That wasn't what I was thinking about but good answer" he replied with a playful arch of his brow, she tilted her head at him, her eyes slightly wider in question.
"Then what's got your brow all furrowed?" She asked, her loose straight hair falling over her shoulder like a curtain of tempered chocolate, even though he preferred her wild curls when the sun hit her straight hair, he could admit, it shined beautifully.
"Whether or not it would be okay to kiss you" he replied clearing his throat, somewhere during his confession he'd lost his confidence. He ran his fingers through his hair as he averted his honeyed gaze from her to his suddenly interesting shoes. The awkwardness of the situation twisting in his gut.
He wondered no longer as he felt Katara's fingers gently caress his tight jawline before she placed a ghost of a kiss against his lips. She slid her butterfly fingertips to the back of his neck, taking advantage of his bowed head, before placing her forehead against his.
"Always" her reply was whispered as she placed another kiss on the corner of his mouth. They stayed that way for a moment longer, their warm breath mingling in the space between them before Katara took a step back.
"Ready to go?" She asked as she repositioned her bag against her narrow shoulder. He nodded in reply before opening the door for her, she smiled her gratitude to him before slipping back into the leather seat of the passenger side. Once again he found that he liked her there, far more than he had Aang and his one-man concert. He slid into his seat before pulling away from the curb, leaving the campus behind.
They chatted while he drove them seamlessly through the busying streets of Ba Sing Se's commercial district, weekends were always busy with families spending the rest day together before another week of work or school, college kids hanging about the cafes and bars or even high-school kids wandering around in groups, Katara watched from the traffic as she took in all the sights of the city.
Before long they were pulling out of the commercial district and into the residential district. Katara couldn't help but compare the second ring housing to the upper ring housing. The second district housing was more what she was used to seeing, the houses were fair-sized, big enough to comfortably hold a family of five or six, unlike the mansions of the upper ring that could have housed a small battalion. Most of the houses had front gardens and garages while others had short off-street driveways, unlike the upper ring manors that all had high gated walls and long driveways and the streets were clean but not unnaturally pristine and spotless like the upper ring.
She preferred the second district better, the house's looked lived in and comfortable, some of the sidewalks had children drawing with chalk or playing with toys, like footballs, dolls and marbles instead of electronics they were too young for. Some of the residents stood outside chatting amongst themselves as they kept a watchful eye on their kids, others busied themselves with garden maintenance or dog walking, to her this district felt more alive and vibrant, even from her passager seat inside a Camaro she could feel the sense of community.
It was to her surprise when Zuko turned into the driveway of one of the neatest looking houses on the street, before turning his car off. She eyed him for a moment before it dawned on her the house more than likely belonged to his uncle.
"I just need to grab some things and then we can leave" Zuko spoke as he cleared his throat.
"Do you want me to wait here?" She asked softly as she looked at the house from the driver's side window behind him. She was curious to see what the inside of Iroh's house looked like, she remembered all the times she'd visited his old house in Crystal Bay and wondered if he still kept such an extensive collection of dragon figures. She remembered how embarrassed Zuko had been the first time Iroh had invited her to dinner, they hadn't been dating at the time, but he still felt the need to explain the 'toys' weren't his. She was already nursing a crush on the moody teen at the time but that night had been the first time she'd seen the more awkward, shy side to him. The first night he'd made her heart thump too.
She chuckled softly behind her hand as she remembered his irritated pout when he'd come home to find her eating dinner with his uncle, He'd looked almost cute, like a child who'd been told no.
"You can come inside if you want?" Came his rasped reply. Katara didn't need to be asked twice, she offered him a smile as she opened her door and climbed out, he followed behind her.
"Hey, do you still keep all those dragon toys?" Katara asked as she followed him up the path, she forced her voice to stay even and innocent as she fought off the smile that was threatening to betray her. She watched his shoulders stiffen as he threw her a wide-eyed look over his shoulder.
"Those weren't mine" he defended as he flipped to a small gold coloured key on sharing the ring of his car keys, she noted how many keys he had. She counted one for his dorm, one for his car, one for his uncle's house and another smaller one. She wondered what that one was for, part of her wanted to tease him a little about maybe having a secret diary or something but the other part of her was happy to continue on the dragon toy thread. So she did.
"I don't know, you denied them pretty quick" she continued with a shrug of her shoulders.
"What seventeen-year-old boy would keep toys?" Zuko quizzed as he unlocked the door before casting a look in her direction. She forced her face to stay neutral.
"Sokka and he'll have you know they are collectable figurines that DO NOT leave the box" Katara replied as she placed one hand on her hip and placed her pointer finger in the air in what Zuko assumed was her best impression of her brother. He chuckled before holding the door open for her, she took his cue entering the house first.
Once again she felt an odd rush of familiarity as she took a step into Iroh's house, it looked nothing like his old house but had the same comforting feel. He'd opted for lighter more airy colours, choosing greens, creams and golds unlike the spice reds and dark wood of his previous home. From where she had stood in the entrance she could see an open living room to her left that led on to the kitchen, in front of her were the stairs that lead to the upper floor and to the right of her she could see a dining room with a table big enough for six people. Again each room was decorated with the same elegance as the tea shop, cream walls a greenish tint, each room accented with golds, greens and occasionally a light yellow that added a fresh spring feeling to the overall decor. The house was spacious enough to house a small family and inviting enough to hold small get-togethers. All in all, this house felt like Iroh. She had not been disappointed.
"I'm just going to get some things from my room, I won't be too long," Zuko spoke from behind her for the first time since they'd entered the house. Katara nodded as she made her way into the living room area, taking a closer look at the room as she went.
The room was of a fair size with one three-seater sofa and a loveseat around a dark wood coffee table, on top she could see a board from a game she didn't recognise, a few game tiles scattered next to the board. She picked one up to look closer, flipping it in her fingers she realised all the tiles had beautiful hand-painted flora on them, some flowers she recognised as lilies and chrysanthemums and some she didn't, she placed the tile back where she found it before running her eyes over a high cream coloured mantlepiece, she noted there was what looked like a large board covering where a fireplace should be, the same lotus painting as the tea shop decorated the front.
She thought it was odd to have nailed over a fireplace, especially when the winters in Ba Sing Se could become brutal, but the more she had thought about it the more she had remembered the fireplace back at Iroh's old house had also been boarded up. She had begun to wonder if it had something to do with the wind chill that could blow down a chimney but didn't give it any more thought, it was Iroh's house, after all, he could do with it what he wanted, but it hadn't been the boarded-up fireplace that had caught her attention, to begin with, but the varying array of framed pictures that sat above the fireplace on the mantle. she smiled when she saw the first picture of a young boy with raven hair, amber eyes and pale skin.
Zuko. she thought to herself as she looked over the picture. He couldn't have been any older than two or three years old, possibly a toddler.
Her heart had clenched hard at the sight of his bright eyes and innocent smile. He didn't smile too often, Katara had always thought he had the brightest warmest smile whenever he did. The kind that would light up his entire face, she always thought he was at his most handsome when he smiled.
The next picture showed a slightly older Zuko, maybe five sitting with an older boy who had the same pale skin, amber eyes and dark hair but looked stockier and with stronger features than the delicate-looking Zuko, a younger Iroh in the middle, one arm on each of the boy's shoulders. The proud grin displayed on his face made her chest warm. She assumed the other boy was the son Iroh had mentioned once in passing, she knew he had passed away but she didn't know how or when. Iroh wasn't always private but he was concerning his late son, so Katara never pried and never planned to. She knew the pain of having someone prying into the death of a loved one just to sate their curiosity. She couldn't pass that pain onto someone as kind and as gentle as Iroh. If he ever wanted to tell her she would listen. After looking over more of the frames she could see very few pictures of the same boy, none after his late teenage years. She guessed then he had passed away young but didn't think any further on it, it was none of her business.
Katara had found her eyes landing on another picture of a beautiful young girl with the same amber eyes, raven hair and pale skin as Zuko- a family trait, she had gathered- If it hadn't have been for Zuko's stronger jawline and slightly longer nose, the pair could have been easily mistaken for twins for, at least that could have been the case up until Zuko's early teen years - She assumed that girl must have been his sister, Iroh had mentioned he had one but Zuko never talked about her, the very few times he had was never in warmth or affection. She couldn't imagine that herself, Sokka could dance on every one of Katara's last nerves with the precision of a master swordsman but he was also one of the only people in her life she could rely on to be there when she needed him, and he had done, more times than Katara could count.
He's still an ass though. She huffed.
As she moved on from the pretty girl with the surprisingly hard eyes she noticed there were no pictures of Zuko after the age of about thirteen. She wasn't too surprised by it, she remembered how much he detested having his picture taken. He'd outright refused to have his picture taken for the yearbook and once snapped at a school photographer for the offence. The thought brought a painful knot to her gut, she knew exactly why. His scar. He hated it. Despised it even.
She had never thought it detracted from his looks, she found him handsome regardless, and much to her annoyance so did other girls, but she knew it wasn't her opinion that mattered or theirs. It was his. He'd been a beautiful child and pre-teen, she couldn't imagine how hard it must have been, how painful, to come to terms with his scar. It hurt her to think about a young Zuko having to accept his disfigurement.
And how it had happened… The thought drifted through her head like an unwelcomed guest. The question had been there on her tongue more times than she could count but she could never bring herself to ask, the only time she'd ever built up the courage enough to ask a memory had torn flash through her and ripped the words from her lips.
She had remembered the first night he'd woken up from a nightmare, he had been screaming and dragging his hands down his face, his usually pale skin had taken on a greyish hue and was papery and clammy to the touch as if he had suffered heatstroke. She had been so terrified, she was fifteen at the time and she had never seen anyone in that kind of state, let alone her boyfriend someone she cared so deeply about. She'd panicked then and reached out to him, grabbing his wrists and trying to pull his hands away from his face. but He was far stronger than her and despite her efforts, his hand wouldn't budge, she had called out to him but she could tell from his glassy eyes that he couldn't hear her, so in her completely panicked teenage brain she threw her arms around him, running her free hand through his hair, she whispered soothing words to him. She didn't know what horrific nightmare he was reliving but she knew she had to try to pull him out of it.
And to her relief and somewhat disbelief, it had worked, eventually, his arms had wrapped around her waist and he had buried his head into the crook of her shoulder. She thought he might have cried that night, she knew she had, but she never mentioned it. She'd seen that night first hand the pain he was in, what it was doing to him but she had no idea what to do, she was too afraid to ask him, too afraid to see him that way again, too afraid to be the one to cause that reaction. She'd kissed him so completely that night, that she often wondered if that was the night she'd fallen in love with him.
You know it wasn't. You've always loved him. A small voice in the back of her mind whispered to her. Katara shook her head, she didn't believe in love at first sight, but she had definitely been drawn to him straight away. Something about him had called to her and she couldn't stay away. She wondered if it was the same for him.
Zuko changed his clothes as quickly as he could, grabbing a few things he might need, deodorant, a towel and boxers, he gave his room a once over wondering if there was anything else he might have needed. Deciding he was all set he closed his door behind him and headed downstairs.
He was lost in his thoughts for a moment deciding if he should grab food and water from the kitchen or just buy something while they were there, Lake Laogai was the only outdoor body of water for miles so, on days when the weather was nice, it was bound to be busy, vendors would set up along the outskirts of the man-made lake and sell food and drink.
It was only when he had reached the last step and decided to just buy anything they wanted, it would be easier to carry less on his bike, that he had noticed Katara standing almost perfectly still in front of the mantlepiece. Her shoulders slumped and her head aimed towards the ground, even with her back to him he could tell she was in thought. His eyes fell on the framed pictures his uncle kept along the mantle, most of which he hated and wished his uncle would have just burned.
He took a step further into the room, the sound of the floorboard beneath him creaked alerting her to his presence, she offered him a smile as she turned around to greet him. Despite her attempts to seem casual he knew that look in her eyes, she'd been lost somewhere dark, his eyes flicked to the mantle behind her before falling back on her. The smile she offered was apologetic like she'd been caught doing something she shouldn't be.
Ask. He thought as he approached her, almost willing her to just ask something about his past, just to dig that little bit deeper. He'd answer her. Whatever question was burning in those mesmerising eyes of hers, he wanted her to ask it.
Zuko watched as her eyes scanned his as if she was looking for something she wasn't quite sure was there, he didn't know what to make of her look; he just knew it tied him in knots. Then to his disappointment, her eyes softened again, she wasn't ready yet. He understood that he knew things between them would shift once he'd told her the whole story. His family was a mess and he was damaged by it, she knew bits and pieces, caught a glimpse here and there but she never asked, never pried. He was okay with that and he was willing to wait. He knew he'd be safe with her when that time came.
He had his questions about her that he hadn't asked yet, he wanted to know about the last two years, about what happened to her mother and why she always wore that necklace- but if she wasn't ready to hear his story he doubted she was ready to tell hers, but he would wait. He didn't think there was anything she could tell him that would make him change how he felt for her. She'd be as safe with him and he would be with her. He knew that, he suspected somewhere deep down she knew that too. But today just wasn't that day. And he was okay with that.
"Which one were you looking at?" He rasped as he wrapped his arms around her waist resting his head on her shoulder. He felt her body relaxing as she leaned into him, her fingers interlocking with his as she leaned her head against his scarred cheek. She didn't so much as flinch at the rougher skin against her own, she never did, she never recoiled, never stared, never shied away from touching it, almost as if she didn't see it.
It's just a scar Zuko. that monotone voice echoed through him like a dagger to his gut. On one level she had been right it was just a scar but on every other level she had been wrong. It wasn't just a scar, it was a permanent reminder of the worst times in his life, it was pain, agony even, it was as much a mental scar as a physical one and it was on his face for all to see. He'd never be free of it. Never.
"Is that you?" came her reply, gently pulling him from his thoughts, he was grateful they had been too heavy for that day.
"Yeah, that's me" Zuko replied as he followed her finger to the only picture that could be deemed as safe ground. A picture of him as a toddler, no parents, no scar and no one else. He couldn't blame her, he'd probably have picked that one too if roles were reversed.
"Look how adorable you were" she cooed, her voice gaining its light-hearted playful edge. Again he was grateful for it, the mood had shifted too far away from what was supposed to be a date.
"What? With fat rolls and a missing tooth?" He asked, allowing the playfulness to spill into his voice.
"Especially with fat rolls and a missing tooth" she teased as she nodded her head as if to agree with herself.
"Maybe I don't need to work out then, recreate the look you love so much" he teased as he nuzzled her neck before placing a kiss just under her ear. "I could probably achieve it by Christmas if I don't put the effort in" he added.
"As adorable as you were, I like how you look now more" She spoke softly, turning her head to face him, before brushing her fingers against his jaw. Despite his earlier thoughts about her missing revulsion for his scar, he believed her. When she told him he was handsome, he believed her. It was never so much her words, but the way she looked at him. No one had ever looked at him the way she did. Not Song, not Mai and not Jin, maybe to some degree those girls liked him and were attracted to some part of him but when Katara looked at him she wasn't looking at him she was looking into him.
"Vain" he hit back, she laughed again before placing a soft kiss on his lips.
"You ready?" She asked. He nodded in reply.
"Let's go" he smirked as he dropped his hand into hers and led her from the living room.
"Oh, hey! There they are" Katara piped from behind him, he turned to look over his shoulder at her as he followed her finger. He groaned as his eyes fell on the large wooden display cabinet in the corner of the dining room.
"Those aren't mine" he protested again as he flicked his eyes from the large, somewhat impressive, collection of dragon figurines his uncle displayed proudly in his dining room.
"I think you protest too much" she added with a mischievous grin.
"Come on" He felt the retort die in his throat and replace itself with a laugh, leading her out the door before she could find anything else that would embarrass him.
Locking the door behind him he led her into the garage where he uncovered his bike, the tarp crinkling as he did, he looked over it for a moment checking everything was in order before he reached for the leather jacket he kept close by. He eyed it for a moment, it was a little worn and would be big on her but it was better than nothing, he turned to hand it to her only to catch her staring at the bike in disbelief.
"You can drive a motorbike?" Katara asked as she turned to him, her eyes wide. He felt himself smirk, maybe Katara wasn't completely immune to the bad boy image he had been saddled with all those years ago.
"Yeah, I have a licence for both" he added as he cleared his throat. He guessed she wouldn't have known, he didn't get his motorcycle licence until the early summer. His uncle had decided the tea shop needed to do deliveries and until he had found a new delivery boy, Zuko had unfortunately been playing temp. His uncle had hired a new driver pretty fast when he had realised Zuko wasn't exactly a customer service kind of person and his unsunny disposition wasn't just reserved for being behind the counter. Zuko hadn't been all that heartbroken about being let go, he at least got a licence out of it.
"Ever ridden one?" He rasped feeling a little bit of that male pride spark again, a large part of him still felt the need to impress her.
"Ah, yeah. Once or twice" She mumbled as she averted her gaze from his. He felt that spark dissipate, he spied her from the corner of his good eye, his brow furrowed at her reaction. He bit down hard on his need to know when, that was honestly none of his business… but that reaction to the question, The look on her face, as if she was thinking hard about something she didn't want to talk about and the way she gripped her bag strap tighter. It bugged him.
A silence fell over them, he didn't know what to say to her or trust himself enough to not open his mouth and pry about something she didn't want to talk about. He should have understood that better than anyone, he had a whole ass building of secrets living rent-free in his head, Katara should be allowed hers.
"Do you want to ride? I thought it'd be easier, but we can take the car" He said, feeling the weight of the awkwardness. He mentally chastised himself for not thinking to ask.
"What? No, I want to ride with you" Katara replied as she took the jacket from his hands in a show of solidarity, throwing it over her shoulders and zipping it up. He was right it was big on her, but it did fit her better than his hoodie. Still, he really did like seeing her in his clothes, even if they usually were ill-fitting.
"I should have asked" he sighed as he slipped into his jacket, handing her a helmet.
"Maybe" she shrugged as she took it from him, playing with the chin straps. He felt himself deflate that little bit more, he had hoped, at least a little, to impress her. "Then I could have worn my own jacket" she added as she lifted her arm to show the space between her arm and sleeve.
"Sorry" He mumbled.
"But" she spoke as she brushed his long bangs from out of his eyes before turning his chin so he was looking at her. "It's kind of hot though" she whispered as she looked at him through her eyelashes. He felt his heart pound hard against his ribs, as that fire spread through his veins.
He didn't reply, instead, he returned her smile before slipping on his helmet, handing her his backpack he threw his long leg over the bike. Katara took the cue, luckily her bag was fairly small and she could fit in the space between her legs. Slipping the straps of his bag onto her shoulders and then sliding her strap over her and positioning it at her waist she climbed on behind him.
She worried at her lip beneath the helmet for the briefest of moments before she leaned forward, wrapping her arms around his middle, hoping he couldn't feel her heart thundering through her chest. The last time she'd ridden on the back of a motorbike she had gripped at the sides or shoulders of the rider, even though she'd been dating him at the time, it never felt right to her to hold him so close. She knew even then that she didn't love him, not even close, or that he didn't love her despite what he would say to her in their intimate moments. It had felt like too loving an embrace for what they were, But at that moment it had felt right. Placing her head as he's back, as close as her helmet would allow, she tightened her grip, locking her fingers together.
Once he was sure she was secure, Zuko turned the key and let the bike roar beneath them, pushing off, he kicked the stand free and sped off into the streets, the second district melting behind the second wall as they went.
Zuko had never felt as free in his life as he had done at that moment, his bike beneath him, the girl he loved behind him, her arms wrapped tightly around his waist and the city gates in front of him. He'd always felt better escaping the city, as much as he liked Ba Sing Se at times it felt like he was being smothered, back home the cities were less populated and the streets were wider, Zuko liked his space and sometimes the busy streets of the large city didn't allow for him to have that. But outside the city was open-air for miles, even the main road in and out of the city was less populated once you got outside of the gates.
It was when traffic was busy and congested that he was glad he had opted for his bike instead of his car, he weaved seamlessly through the backed-up traffic breaking outside of the city walls in a matter of minutes, and like it, he usually did when he left the city behind him, he felt a sense of relief wash over him. And it was that need for space that had led him to discover a smaller more private alcove about ten minutes to the left of the lake, so even when they arrived at a packed lake laogai, twenty minutes outside the city, he didn't feel the restraints closing in on him again, he just kept driving until he reached his secret cove.
Katara hadn't been all that surprised when they kept driving past the lake, even she had thought it was busy, and less so when they pulled off into an alcove far enough away from the buzz of tourists that only the gentle push and pull of the water could be heard.
"You have a talent for finding these places" Katara spoke as she removed her helmet, shaking her hair loose.
"What? I don't like crowds" he defended as he kicked the stand on his bike, before freeing himself of his helmet and jacket. The sun was scorching, and even he, who'd spent the first fourteen years of his life living near an active volcano, felt uncomfortable.
"It's a compliment. You could make money as a tour guide" came her reply as she stretched her arms above her.
"Wouldn't that involve crowds?" he replied with an arch of his brow, regretting his decision to not at least bring a bottle of water with him, he could feel the sweat beading on his brow from the mixture of helmet and heat.
"Is it just me or is it hot?" Katara asked as she fanned herself with her hand, before turning to her bag and pulling out a bottle of water. He wasn't surprised, slightly jealous, but not surprised. She took a sip before offering it to him. His eyes flicked between her and the bottle.
"Seriously? The only place my mouth has been is on yours" she replied, her face flat as she held the bottle to him.
"That wasn't it" Zuko spoke as he took the bottle from her, he couldn't care less if she'd taken a drink out of it. "I was thinking this looked familiar" he added as he took a sip himself.
"That's because you're always unprepared" she chided lightly with a mock point of her finger.
"I don't have to be if you always are" he added matter factly, as he handed her back the bottle, using the sleeve of his t-shirt to wipe at his brow.
"Oh yeah? What if I'm not around?" She replied before turning back to her bag and digging out her towel.
"That won't happen" came his reply as he watched her for a moment.
"Oh? Why's that?" She asked as she turned to face him, one eyebrow arched her head tilted at him.
"Because you think I'm hot" he replied in a low voice, thick with that timber she'd heard him use on the wall, a sly grin spread across his face. Her heart slammed hard inside her chest, the blood inside her veins igniting to an almost uncomfortable degree. Her brain froze for a moment as she tried to reconcile with the fact that the awkward boy who asked her permission before he kissed her and the sexy man who could light her on fire with his promising grin was the same person, and both could make her heart dance inside her chest.
He had expected her to blush and look away or to sputter some lame excuse about only meaning the bike but she did neither, instead she locked eyes with him and held his gaze. Those enchanting eyes of hers somehow finding a phase between the day and night, shining with something he hadn't seen in the years since she'd left. If his skin hadn't been hot before it had been then.
"We should change, unless you plan to swim in your sneakers" she spoke first breaking the spell that had come over them, before averting her eyes back to her bag. He nodded in reply before turning his back to her, he needed a minute to clear his head.
Lust? He pushed the thought from his head almost immediately. She had asked to go slow, that definitely wouldn't be going slow. He'd be lying if he had said it wasn't on his mind, of course, it was, but she had set boundaries and he was going to respect them. His uncle never had to tell him that for him to know it was true.
With his thoughts purified and the fire in his veins suitably suppressed, he pulled off his shirt, The heat of the sun lapping against his pale skin as soon as it was exposed, he needed sunblock, despite living in a hotter climate for the majority of his life he was still fair and would burn. He cursed to himself, he knew he'd forgotten something. He thought about asking Katara if she had any but that would have also meant asking her to get his back and he wasn't entirely sure if that counted as respecting her boundaries.
"When did you get that?" Her voice pulling him from his own painfully confusing thoughts, he'd all but decided he'd just get a sunburn when he felt her fingertips butterfly over his right shoulder blade. He felt his skin tingle as her fingers traced patterns into his shoulder. It took his brain a moment to catch up to her question as the gentle sensation took over.
It took Zuko, lost in her touch, a moment to release what it was she was referring to and when he did, he let out a groan as he threw a look over his shoulder.
"Don't remind me. I was feeling dramatic" came his reply. She had been referring to the phoenix tattoo he'd gotten six months eailer when he'd transferred colleges and moved to Ba Sing Se to live with his uncle. He'd felt indignant at the time and wanted something to remind himself of what he'd left behind him, but a few months later he'd started to regret it and a couple of months after that he downright hated it, so much so that he'd forgotten he had it until Katara had mentioned it.
"It's well done" Katara spoke again as she followed the bird's wings with her fingers.
"I'm getting it removed as soon as I can" he replied almost immediately as he folded his arms over his chest, what was another scar? At least that one would be self-inflicted.
"I like it. Suits you" she added as she pulled her fingers away, he felt the removal of them and the gentle tickling sensation instantly. For a moment he wished he had more tattoo's, again he axed the thought.
"I'll take that as a compliment" he spoke, the small smirk peeling against his lips. "Do you have any?" He added, suddenly curious.
"Two. Small ones" she returned.
"Can I see them?" He chanced, he wasn't sure why he was nervous to ask, pretty soon she'd be wearing only swimwear he'd be able to see any tattoo's regardless. And yet there was a strange intimacy to it, tattoo's were often personal. Any pattern someone picked to permanently etch onto their skin would be.
Katara nodded her reply before lifting off her white t-shirt. Despite himself, he felt the fire flare inside his veins at the sight of Katara's sexy blue bathing suit, the bikini top tied around her neck, falling into a deep plunge with a white elastic band across her ribs supporting her ample chest. He willed himself not to stare, to keep his eyes on hers. The bottoms were boy shorts with an attached skirt that stopped at the top of her thigh, a small split in the side.
Athletic yet feminine and sexy, not to mention he found the blue colour complimented her darker skin better than the white of her t-shirt had her swimsuit matched her perfectly. As if someone had made it for her.
"Here" She spoke seemingly unaware of Zuko's inner turmoil, as she pointed to a small white tattoo of one flower in full bloom and a flower bud placed just behind it as if the blooming flower was protecting the bud. The small tattoo was on her left side etched onto her ribs, just below where the elastic band of her bikini top sat, if she hadn't pointed it out he could have easily missed it.
"I've never seen a white tattoo before" he replied as he leaned in ever so slightly to get a better look. He had to admit it was a nice tattoo, the white ink helped it stand out against the mocha colour of her skin.
"Perks of having darker skin," she said proudly.
"It looks amazing" he spoke in a low voice as he absentmindedly ran his thumb over it. She felt her skin blaze under his touch, she bit down hard on the urge to whine.
"It's an Arctic Nymph. My mother loved them" she spoke softly, the mention of her mother was enough to ice the fire in her veins. He caught the shift in her tone, he knew why, she very rarely mentioned her mother and the times she did she always held a great sadness in her eyes, one that would leach into her voice.
"It's beautiful," he replied. "And the other?"
He asked, clearing his throat. He had felt the swift urge to move the conversation along before he opened his mouth and asked the question that had been on his tongue since he'd met her. He didn't want to see that pain reflected in her eyes, he didn't want to be the one to make her relive whatever painful memory she was associated with her mother. He knew that feeling too well, only when he thought of his mother he felt rage.
"You're not allowed to laugh" her tone had shifted to one of indignancy. That piqued his interest, what kind of embarrassing tattoo did she have?
"That just makes me want to see it more" he replied as he righted himself and looked at her with his brow arched.
"I'll show you, but promise you won't laugh" she repeated with the same amount of enthusiasm as before.
"Alright, I promise I'll try" he teased with a mock shrug of his shoulders.
"Zuko!" She cried. He fought to keep his face impassive, he wanted to smirk at her or flash her a grin but the idea of pulling that pufferfish expression from her was too great an urge to resist.
"Fine. I won't laugh'' he spoke with a mock sigh, raising his hands in front of him. He watched as she relaxed. "right now" he added, He watched in silent laughter as he succeeded in his goal, her bottom lip stuck out in a pout and her cheeks filled with air she would no doubt puff out in annoyance.
"Zuko!" She cried again, the faintest hint of a blush appearing across her cheeks.
"Alright. Alright. I promise I won't laugh. Would you just show me already?" He replied, satisfied with his small win. The mysterious tattoo had piqued his interest.
Katara let out a small sigh as she lifted her right wrist to him, taking her hand he gently pulled it closer to him so he could get a better look. Like the first one, it had been small, no bigger than her thumbnail, and inked in white. He admired the sharp contrast of the white ink, it did look beautiful against her skin. He followed the pattern with his eyes before realising he was looking at a gemstone, a diamond.
"A diamond?" He quizzed, his brow furrowed in confusion. He wondered why she thought he'd laugh at a diamond. Yet the more he looked at the shape the more he realised it was too long to be a diamond, the realisation had hit him as soon as she spoke it.
"It's a crystal" she spoke softly. He lifted his eyes to look at her, she was staring directly into his, studying him with great interest.
"You hated that place" he spoke through a dry throat, he could feel her pulse pick up through the fingertips he had resting on her slender wrist.
"N-not all of it" she spoke, her heart had been thrumming so loudly in her ears that she could barely hear anything else. She'd lost her confidence, what if he thought it was creepy? They'd only known each other for five months and dated for less than two… how would she explain why she got it without having to bring up the ex she'd rather forget, or that he'd treated her so badly that she had wanted a reminder of what it felt like to be treated right? She eyed him for a moment silently praying for him to say something. anything.
Showing him was a mistake… she thought to herself as she tried to think of her way around it. Make up some excuse about how she just really liked the design...
"Did, did you get this for me?" He asked softly. She worried at her bottom lip. His breath held in his throat as he watched her eyes search his. He could feel the slightest quake of her wrist as if she was readying herself to flee before she nodded gently.
"Is that weird?" She asked her voice a shade above a whisper.
He didn't reply, instead, he lifted her wrist to his lips, his hot breath ghosting over the thin skin as he placed a gentle kiss on the tattoo. Her heart thundered as her skin lit up under his lips, a deep blush spreading across her face. Their eyes held as he lifted his head, the usual golden-amber eyes were dark and burning with an emotion she didn't quite understand. He didn't allow her too long to figure it out as he closed the distance between them. Standing at his full height he hooked his finger under her chin, tilting her head to face his finally drawing her into a deep kiss.
She felt as her nerves exploded beneath the pressure of his wanting lips, her stomach rolling between her frayed nerves the butterflies threatening to explode out of her. Of all the kisses they'd shared, that one had felt the most sincere, a million emotions he'd wanted to say but couldn't find the right words to express, as if he was making a silent promise to her. She didn't quite understand what that was, but she knew when he stopped kissing her she felt the loss.
I love you… she didn't say as he smiled at her, resting his forehead against hers. She felt the tears as they had stung at her eyes.
"No" he replied as he shook his head. his smile had been so beautiful, he could always leave her breathless with the simple act. She smiled in return before taking his hands and leading him to the water.
"You said we were here to swim right?" She chirped.
A/N: I had to split this chapter into two parts. It was becoming a mammoth.
Please R&R