author's note: Well here it is, the 20th chapter! As someone commented on in the reviews on the issue of the age difference between Aro and Rebecca, yes it is iffy and that's sort of the point. In Twilight, the age difference between Bella and Edward is often shrugged off because they both "look" like teenagers, even though Edward is like 200 years older than her or whatever. This fic highlights many of the issues I have with the twilight books, and will continue to do so even more further on. Though this is a romance too, it is a lot more darker take on the human/vampire love trope.
Also, with this chapter we officially enter the M rated area!
One thing I did not expect to see during my stay in Italy were the scorpions.
One morning I woke up to see one crawling across my bedroom floor in an unhurried fashion, meanwhile I was doing my best not to panic. After capturing it under a glass from the kitchen I made a call to Helen – as she had given me her private number for emergencies. I considered this to be such an occation.
It was the same color as liqurice, the surface of its shell shiny in the morning light. It kept clawing at the edges of the glass so I had to hold a hand down on top of it so it wouldn't escape. Helen answered on the third ring and I wasted no time in telling her what the matter was.
"There is a scorpion in my bedroom." I said, my voice still groggy with sleep but alert enough to speak clearly. Helen however sounded almost pleasantly surprised.
"Ah, you've finally met!" she exclaimed. I blinked a few times.
"I beg your pardon?"
"They're just like little bugs – harmless." she explained as I warily peered through the glass as it continued struggling to get out, its claws opening and closing rapidly.
"They're not poisonous then?" I asked, and Helen laughed.
"No, no. Their sting hurts like hell, but nothing happens. Did you leave a door open during the night?"
"Yeah, my balcony doors. "
"Ah, it came in that way then. Leave some lavender there tonight, and they won't come in. It deterres them."
"Okay, duly noted. I'll see you at work in a little bit. Thanks for the advice."
"No problem, tesoro."
I hung up and sighed, relieved and a little embarrassed. The scorpion had ceased its movements, yet its tail kept twitching.
I was meant to be looking over some paperwork, but somehow I kept spacing out, unable to focus.
Since that conversation with Aro in the garden, I felt conflicted. Someone older, more experienced might have said that it was a bad decision I made. I'm on my own here, and contemplating to involve myself romantically with someone older. Just how old he was, I had no idea. Not that it was anything new to me. Even though I might not be able to trust him, I was confident that I would be able to avoid another ambush, like the night at that party. I could defend myself, if necessary. My body was strong since many years of physical training, and I hadnt done anything last time because of the shock.
Even though he had promised, I knew that men treated promises as mere words. Nothing more. So why did I agree?
I flinched when someone put a hand on my shoulder, my head quickly turning to see who had approached. It was Marions replacement, a woman named Elenor, also an american like me. Her hazy blue eyes regarded me closely, a concerned look on her face.
"You don't look so good. " she said, making me snap back to reality.
"What?" I asked, my voice sounding a bit strange.
"Did something happen?" Elenor asked, seemingly with no agenda behind her question. If this had been Marion, she would have come down hard on me for slacking or something like that. It was a nice change of pace. I managed a smile and shook my head slightly.
"Oh, no. I'm just a bit tired is all." I said, and Elenor nodded, sighing with what almost sounded like boredom.
"Well, why don't you stop working earlier today – it's been a little slow here as it is." she said, looking around the office, which was unusually peaceful and quiet.
"Really, is it okay?" I asked, but I was already putting away my work to be finished the next day. She nodded, walking away to her own desk to continue working on something on her laptop.
"of course, just relax and feel better."
I hadn't expected it but, taking half a day off from work was just the thing I needed. I really liked the work I was doing, but it was hard when I had so many things on my mind. I decided to go for a swim in the nearby outdoor pool facility in town, which I had heard much about but never visited until now. I knew that normal teenagers, given the chance to be even near a pool would spend most of their summer vacation in it or near it. Stop, Rebecca, Stop it ! It would be nice to cool off and forget about everything else for awhile.
The pool technically belonged to a private spa next door, but they had made it so that it was available to paying customers who just came to swim, like me. I went home to the apartment and gathered my old bathing suit and a towel in a tote bag, along with sunglasses and some moisturizing cream. It was just after three in the afternoon when I set off, the lasting heat from earlier in the day disappearing slightly. But the sun was still high in the sky, and would probably remain so until late in the evening. It was around this time that most of the shop owners took their siesta, even the convinence store was temporarily closed.
But more than relaxation, this was a test.
It had been a few years since i last went swimming like this. For good reasons.
But things were different now. I was in another country, there were no teachers or students watching my every move. The trees here didn't shake in the cold darkness, but swayed and shivered from the heat. I was different here, wasn't I?
I calmed down a little when I arrived at the pool – there was a few other swimmers around, but not enough to make it crowded. The pool was very large, and deep enough to dive into. An older italian woman was sunbathing in one of the many foldable beach chairs, while an employee from the spa was doing some maintendance work in the background.
After paying the fee by the entrance I quickly stepped into one changing area and put on my swimsuit. As I walked right next to the edge of the long pool towards the deep end, I focused on the walkway under my feet - hot from the blaze of the sun.
It was not that I didn't value my life. My survival instincts were strong. It was just that sometimes I hated myself so much that I could see no other way. Did I hate myself today?
The cold water initially relaxed me, but it never calmed my mind.
So I did a couple of laps back and forth, focused on my breathing, on silently plowing forward. My muscles ached a little – it had been too long since I practised like this. I had forgone using a cap on my head to cover my hair, instead I let it plaster over my head and shoulders. The bathing suit was a new purchase, a gift from Helen from a couple of weeks ago.
You could show a little more skin, amico.
It was a bikini – the first one I'd ever owned. Even though I thought it would feel exposing, it felt quite the opposite. It made me feel somehow more free in the water. It was not really revealing either, since the top was more like a sports bra.
It was something my old coach would have liked very much.
I pushed away harder with my feet when I reached the other end of the pool, turning around to swim to the other end. My breath was coming short, and my legs were starting to burn. Still, I kept going. As long as I kept moving, my thoughts would fly away.
The air in my lungs was not a problem, I could do this forever If I had to.
The water was getting progressively darker, and my movements more sluggish. I could no longer see the bottom. There was no sound anymore from the birds or the people on the surface, the water did not splashed as I moved.
The stars moved above my head, white flames that moved so fast that I had to turn away.
No matter how hard I tried, my movements were slower, weaker. Yet, I did not mind it.
There was only a muffled roar in my ears, as if I were at the bottom of the sea.
When I looked down again, I saw something. A large shape at the bottom of the pool. It looked like seaweed, with bits of it floating above the dark mass. Pieces flew away from the bottom, but they were too dark for me to make out. When I looked closer, I saw what it really was.
People.
Dead of course. Piles and piles of them, on top of each other. None of them had eyes. The bits flowing above the pile were hands, reaching up to the surface. They looked old, like they had been there for a long time. There was no blood. Most of them were rotting, decomposing, falling apart.
Then, amongst all of them, the head of a small girl peeked up from the pile – whose eyes were still intact. She was staring up at me, and then just once, she blinked.