Earlier this year I read an interview with JE, where she seemed pretty happy to get rid of the number centered book naming thing. It made me wonder about coming up with 27 number themed titles, and then pairing up story ideas with them. In the end, I came up with 31 story ideas (more, if you count the multiple ideas for several of the numbers), and The Number Series was born. Some stories are longer one-shots, some are short, and some developed into multi-chapter offerings. All have the title somewhere in the story. I have no set posting schedule for them.
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All recognizable characters belong to Janet Evanovich, I'm just playing.
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Part of the Two Pink Lines world, takes place 3 weeks after the end of And Baby Makes Three
December 25th
RPOV
Years of training have my eyes open the moment Gabriel starts to stir. Looking at the clock, the 0215 doesn't surprise me. Almost three hours. Careful to avoid waking Steph so she can have a couple more minutes of sleep,
I slide out of the bed and move silently next door to the room we set up as a nursery.
The nightlight set low to the floor creates enough light for me to see. Gabriel is awake but not fussing as he shoves a small fist toward his mouth. At not quite three weeks old, he's been an easy baby so far. Mama has warned me that that might change, so for now we're enjoying his calm demeanor.
Reaching into the crib, I lift him up and hold him close to my chest, nuzzling his silky hair with my nose. His eyes meet mine as I move my index finger close enough to his hand for him to grasp it. I stand in the center of his room, just soaking up his presence. These quiet moments before I take him to Steph belong to just the two of us. It's a luxury I never had with Julie, and I don't want to squander a second of it.
When his little legs start kicking, I know he's ready to nurse. Moving quietly back to our room, I place a kiss on the little fingers holding my bigger one before I gently disengage. His little hand goes right back toward his face.
Not wanting to startle Steph, I carefully sit down on the edge of the bed and let my hand rest on her hip, thinking that her laying on her side might make this easier. The first night I tried to wake her up, I got a head butt to the nose when she launched herself straight up.
"Babe."
When she doesn't move, I begin the dance of trying to wake her up enough to feed Gabriel, but not startle her awake and make it hard for her to go back to sleep. Rubbing my hand along her hip again, I barely contain the laugh that wants to come out when I hear, "I know it's Christmas, but you are seriously not getting any right now."
I'm completely aware that it will be a while before I can be with her like that again. I miss the connection, but I know it'll still be there when she has the medical clearance and the desire. A connection between us was never the issue; it was the convincing myself that I needed to ignore it and keep my distance that caused problems.
"Babe, Gabriel's awake and hungry."
"Then grow some boobs and feed him!" comes out on a growl. Steph's sleep has been seriously compromised by the every 2-3 hour feeding schedule, but this is the first time she's complained.
"I'm on board if you want to do some bottle feeding, but we have nothing pumped and we don't have any formula."
With a move that would have been at home within a zombie movie, she sits up without ever opening her eyes and moves her arms around, looking for Gabriel. "I can feed him."
I scoot in the bed behind her, sitting against the headboard and help her shuffle back so she can lean against me. Once she has him, I circle my arms around her, helping her hold him while he nurses.
"Did you ever picture yourself here, like this?"
Her question is out of the blue. Kissing her curls, I answer, "When I saw you holding your niece, I wondered how you'd look holding a baby of your own. I could sometimes imagine you and Morelli as parents, but I never really allowed myself the luxury of imagining a life with you. I thought I had too much work left to repair my karma."
She's quiet enough that I think she might have dozed off until she breaks the suction for Gabriel and gently takes the burp cloth I hand her and puts him to her shoulder. "I always thought marriage and kids meant that I had to give up everything else. I'm glad I was wrong."
No words are spoken for the rest of the feeding, and I gently take Gabriel from her before she collapses sideways and drifts off to sleep again. I hold him tucked up under my chin for the trip back to his crib, enjoying the tickle of his hair. Up here, where it's just the three of us, I can let my guard down. I don't have to be a leader or a badass; I can just be the man who loves his wife and child.
Knowing that I shouldn't let it become a habit, I settle in the rocker with him still tucked under my chin. Steph's never been good with compromised sleep and making things easier for her in the middle of the nights is the least I can do for her. As I rub my thumb up and down his back while rocking, I let the peace settle over me. I used to sit in the chair next to Steph's bed and watch her sleep, but that hasn't been necessary since she moved into my bed permanently. Instead, the brief time that I allow myself to rock Gabriel in the middle of the night has taken its place.
Sated, Gabriel drifts into a deeper slumber and I run my fingers over his hair one more time. It's starting to take on a bit of curl, much to Steph's chagrin. Gently laying him on the changing table, I grab supplies from the shelf above it. Working the snaps on his sleeper, changing his wet diaper, and redressing him is done with the same precision and efficiency as field stripping an M14, but with much more care and love.
I allow myself a few more moments to hold him before gently placing him in his crib. Stepping back, a quick survey shows that there are no hazards or threats in the room. My only request to Steph was no superhero theme in here, so she and Ella used soothing blues to create an underwater oasis. Picking up a stuffed octopus from the dresser, I take a moment to fully embrace the wild notion that this is my life now. I once told Steph that I didn't do stupid things like marriage and babies, and I've never been more happy to be wrong.
Giving Gabriel one last check, I leave his room and move through the quiet apartment to the kitchen for a drink of water. Steph left the tree in the living room lit up and it shines in the corner like a beacon of hope in the otherwise dark apartment. Unbidden, my feet move me to just in front of the tree and to the three ornaments prominently displayed at the front of the 7' tree.
Two of them were unexpected gifts from Helen. A silver onesie with Gabriel's name and Baby's First Christmas sits beside a heart cut from black slate with Mr. and Mrs. Manoso and the year etched into it. I could tell that Steph was overwhelmed when she opened the box while Helen and Frank were over for dinner the other night. Helen might not have always liked Steph's choices, but she's been nothing but supportive since the incident with Morelli.
A scowl briefly settles on my face at the thought of him. Ever since she punched him, he's kept his distance. While we were at Rossini's for dinner a few weeks before she gave birth, he came in with a woman and was seated in an area that Steph didn't have a view of. That was for the best, as she was getting nervous for Gabriel's arrival and didn't need the added stress. He saw her, though and his stare was squarely centered on her expanded belly. Stepping between them and blocking his view of her was petty, but he needed to let it go, let her go. Rangeman hasn't had any problems when we bring skips into the station, and hopefully it stays that way.
The third ornament makes me smile. Steph found what she wanted and sent a picture to Valerie, who picked it up at the mall for her, and then Ella helped finish it off. It's not something I would have thought of, but I appreciate Steph's gesture. Stepping back from the tree and after checking Gabriel one more time, I slide into bed and wrap my arms around Steph.
We repeat the feeding routine at 0530 and I encourage Steph to go back to sleep while she can. Gabriel and I hang out on the couch for a bit until he, too, returns to dreamland for a short nap. When he wakes a second time, I take him into the nursery to change him. Julie sent us a package earlier this week, and inside, nestled in with the presents for Steph, Gabriel and me, there was a red and white striped newborn sleeper with Little Brother and a bear on it. Pinned to the tag was a note that it was for Gabriel to wear on Christmas morning.
Julie so easily accepting me having another child has been another blessing. I wasn't sure how she'd respond, and her initial reaction of cautious happiness for us has turned into excitement and I owe it all to Steph and her pushing me to try harder with Julie so that Gabriel could get to know his sister. I think Steph is looking forward to our Facetime call later as much as Julie is.
Once Gabriel is in a dry diaper and the (admittedly) cute outfit, we return to find Steph blinking while trying to sit up. She gets herself settled against the headboard and reaches for Gabriel, smiling at his outfit. "He's so freaking adorable in that."
While she nurses him, I realize that I could never receive another gift in life and still be happy. For someone like me to have received these blessings, I have to believe that I've made progress on my path to redemption.
Steph runs her fingers through Gabriel's hair before offering her finger for him to grab onto. "Did you two start the day without me?"
"Yep. Hit the eggnog hard and passed out on the couch."
She snorts as she burps him and then hands him to me. "I'm going to run through the shower."
"I'll get breakfast ready. Should take me all of 30 seconds." She rolls her eyes at my smirk and Gabriel and I head to the kitchen for the daunting task of putting Cinnabons on a plate and waiting for her join us before we shove them in the microwave. I didn't know what to expect when Steph told Ella that she'd take care of Christmas breakfast so Ella could relax, but this wasn't it. Steph admitted that one of her high school friend's mom got Cinnabons for holiday breakfasts and she always loved the idea of easy, laid back mornings before the chaos started. I can appreciate that. We have plans with our families later, so it wasn't a temple day, anyway, but this will be at least an extra couple miles on the treadmill tomorrow.
As we're finishing up breakfast, my iPad chimes from the far side of the table, signaling Julie's call. I have Gabriel, so Steph grabs it and swiftly gets the call going and my heart zings a bit at the site of them easily chatting away. Steph thanks her for Gabriel's jammies and angles the tablet so Julie can get a better look. Julie takes up most of the screen, but Gabriel is clearly seen in the corner, and I smirk when I hear the sounds of screen shots being taken by both of them.
"You guys have to open my presents now!"
Julie loves Christmas like Steph loves Halloween and her enthusiasm is infectious. Steph takes Gabriel so I can open my gift, a silver double frame engraved with We Love Dad! A new school photo of Julie is already in place, and it kills me to realize that she won't have many more to send me. "It's perfect, mi hija. Thank you."
At her direction, we open Gabriel's gift, a sea creature themed inflatable play mat. Steph shows it to him, but he yawns and drifts off to sleep after trying to shove his fist in his mouth. Julie laughs and asks if I can hold him so Steph can open her present. Steph gently shakes her box before telling Julie, "You go first!"
I generally send money or gift cards, and Steph rolled her eyes when I told her that, before telling me she'd take care of it. On the iPad screen, wrapping paper is flying before Julie lets out a squeal that causes even Gabriel to jolt. "You got one!"
"My nieces and I stood in line for an hour, and we were able to grab a couple."
I watch, bewildered as Julie holds up some sort of make-up case and excitedly starts taking stuff out of it, commenting on colors. Make-up. An hour in line for make-up. I guess it only needs to make sense to them. After Julie repacks everything, she says, "Thank you! It's so cool you were able to get the limited edition one. Ok, Steph, your turn."
Steph pulls the cream ribbon off the box with more restraint than I knew she possesses. Carefully sliding the lid off a small jewelry box, Steph's hand comes up to cover her mouth as she whispers, "Oh, Julie!"
"There's an egg for each of us, in our birthstone color. I hope you like—"
"I love it, thank you. It's beautiful."
In the box, hanging from a silver chain, is a handcrafted pendant of silver wire wound and formed into the shape of a bird's nest. Nestled inside are pearls in the colors of turquoise, opal, peridot, and amethyst to represent the four of us.
"We might not live near each other, but we're family and I wanted Gabriel to know that…" Julie's speech tapers off, like she's suddenly unsure of her gift.
"It's perfect, Julie." Steph looks at me. "Can you get the ornament?"
Carefully balancing Gabriel, I slide the third ornament off the tree and hand it to her. It's a family of bears, 4 of them, partially hidden behind the tree. Our names carefully added to their Santa hats by Ella. Steph holds it up for Julie to see. "I was thinking the same thing."
Julie smiles and Steph takes Gabriel back while they chat. I lean against the back of the couch, watching my family, near and far, and thank anyone who's listening for my second chance.